top story: Things are definitely going to change.
KEZZ 1: You're very welcome!
To my dear Guest reviewer: Yes, it is a difficult situation for any kid to be in. Unfortunately, it is something that happens all too often in real life.
Now it's time for the aftermath...
Ani stood next to Maggie listening to her as she talked to Negan. The prisoners were standing behind them with Alden standing just behind Maggie. To her, it looked like he had taken her words seriously, along with several others in their group. For one, not a single one had to be jostled or said anything about being used as bargaining chips, with the exception of Jared and Gregory. In fact, the old man had an obviously bloody nose from when he'd tried to talk Maggie into letting him go. Even though Ani blamed it on pregnancy hormones making her lash out, the smug smile and shrug of her shoulders when she'd punched the man square in the face spoke volumes to the contrary. What could she say? She'd warned him to keep his mouth shut.
The annoyance she felt towards Gregory was quickly shifted to rage towards Negan when he said that Daryl was responsible for Glenn's death, grabbing the walkie from Maggie and shouting into it, "Fuck ya jus' say?!" That was all she was able to get out before Maggie tried to grabbed the damn thing back, though it didn't stop her from continuing on her rampage, shouting loud enough to get through the walkie before it was taken away, "Ya the fuckin' bastard that chose ta kill 'im! I'll make ya eat ya fuckin' dick, ya son a a bitch! Fuckin' cocksucka!"
"Ani!" Maggie chastised, though she did understand and felt the same way. "So, how's this gonna go?" she asked Negan.
"Well, Maggie Rhee, I guess that's thirty eight less bullets I have to worry about. Thirty eight less mouths to feed. As much as I hate doin' it, their lives? Well, as soon as they gave up the fight instead of dyin', they were lost. You see, I don't take kindly to people who get themselves captured. I take pride in my men fightin' to the end. Now, that's not sayin' that, should they figure a way out of their current predicament in the onslaught headin' your way that I won't take them back. But if you think you can use them to make me stand down? Ain't happenin'."
"Told ya none a ya matta'd ta him," Ani goaded, many of the prisoners' faces dawning in realization of just how expendable they were to Negan, before she headed into the office.
"Ani?!" Maggie called after her.
"Jus' stick ta the plan!" she yelled back. "And untie Alden, dammit!"
Running inside, she grabbed her own automatic she'd placed right inside the office to Maggie's door before booking it to where she wanted to be. She knew about where the motorcycle would be parked, and Tara was near there. While no one would be happy she was outside, she had already been dealing with the tremors in her hands and as the night had progressed, her back had both started hurting from how she was forcing her tremors only to stay in her hand while the feeling of fire was beginning to spread through her spine. Heading to the front door, she almost got stopped by a few of the other people, but rather than even talking to them, Ani moved right through. She exited the house and ran over to one of the cars, ducking down and sitting next to Michonne.
"You're supposed to be inside," she chastised.
"Ya really think I got it in me ta sit it out again?"
"That's why I chose to wait here. I wouldn't have been able to sit it out either, pregnant or not. Not with Rick out there," Michonne told her. "But if you're out here, you stay with me until we find Daryl, do you understand?"
"Until I hear 'is bike come in, fine. Was gonna look for Tara, though. I don' trust 'er not ta listen ta the retreat. Don' trust D not ta eitha, or Merle, or the kids, really. That's why I got the kids in the windows."
"Thank you for that. I don't know what Rick and I would do if we lost Carl, or Judith."
"I get it, I do. When I thought I was gonna lose-" her statement was cut off by the sound of gunfire and the engine of Daryl's bike. "Gotta go."
~x~
Daryl was standing by his bike, watching the road for the Saviors, when the horns started going off. Quickly moving to grab the air horn on his bike, he let it sound off before picking up his binoculars. He looked to the road first, trying to find out how close the Saviors were, but there was no sign of them yet. Turning the binoculars to the Hilltop, he could just make out Ani standing on the wall. He took a deep breath and worked on reminding himself that she was going to be fine, sticking with Maggie the entire time and being protected by not only the kids, but the twins, too. Catty hadn't left her side since she'd had her panic attack, and Bobby had been hissing at anyone who came too close to her. Hell, the little bastard had even taken a swipe at him when he'd raised his voice at Ani when they had argued over where she would be during the attack.
If he was being honest, ever since the Sanctuary, they'd been having more and more problems and arguing a lot more. Something about that place had broken a part of Ani she wasn't willing to get back, and he was pretty sure it had something to do with what Negan had made her do to her parents. Even then, with the pregnancy, with the stress they were both under, he didn't want to blame her for how hard she was fighting to stay in the fight even if she was told to sit out. It was hard for her, being at the Hilltop waiting while he was out here, just as it was hard for him knowing that she wouldn't stay in the house. She was supposed to, but over the last couple years, he'd learned how she dealt with her head and he knew damn well she wouldn't smoke to keep herself calm. No, she'd come to him when the fighting started and do what she could to protect her people. She always did.
He was impatiently waiting, smoking a cigarette to help calm his nerves. It wasn't until after night had fallen and he could no longer see who was on the wall that the Saviors began rolling through. Their headlights lit up the road as they traveled towards the Hilltop, Daryl throwing his lit smoke to the side as he climbed on his motorcycle. The Hilltop had to hold out until Maggie gave the signal, the only light in Hilltop going out. Counting in his head, he waited to the count of sixty as he saw the Saviors stop and listened as Maggie spoke to Negan. Hearing Ani going on her tirade made him scoff and shake his head even though he agreed with the man's view. If he hadn't have acted irrationally that night, Glenn would still be alive to see his kid born. It was because of that that Daryl was fighting so hard for the Hilltop, and he'd be lying if he said that the guilt from that and Ani getting injured and being taken to the Sanctuary hadn't been taking it's toll on their relationship, too.
Daryl couldn't help the anger coursing through his veins. It was half the reason he and Ani kept getting into arguments. The guilt was, admittedly, the biggest reason he kept trying to tell her where to go and what to do. He didn't want her put in that situation again where she talked him into letting her do something dangerous, something that put her at risk. He hadn't cared for so long, just wanting to keep an eye on her and keep her by his side. The minute Merle had left at the quarry, he was just gone. For the longest time, he'd been so scared that she was going to go the same route that he'd made the selfish choice to keep her with him without thinking about her safety. Even after they found out the pregnancy, he'd kept her with him, and had that gotten them? She'd been shot, the wound getting infected and her being in a coma for two days, and then she'd been taken to the Sanctuary and forced to fight her parents. The guilt and anger he felt about all of it had made him extremely possessive and protective of both her and the baby, and that had been unleashed on her one too many times. He could only hope that, when the fighting was over, that they could mend what was cracking.
Starting his bike up, he revved it a couple times before taking off, heading towards the back of the Savior's convoy. It was difficult, balancing the bike with his hand on the automatic's trigger, but he was confident in his riding abilities. Hell, as it was, Ani had fretted over the bike with Merle the night before, Merle going through and making sure the wires were right and checking the breaks and shocks at Ani's request. Even now, he hadn't had everything so tight since the first time he'd taken it for a drive with Ani on the back. When all of this was over, he was going to take her out again and make it up for his attitude lately, explain it all and hope things would go back to how they had been. It was holding onto that feeling that he became determined, took a hand off the bike and began pulling the trigger, mowing down several Saviors that had been stupid enough to try to take the gate while being out of the cars.
Daryl took his hand off the gun then and revved the engine of the bike, picking up speed as the Saviors ran to get into their respective cars. It gave him a head start to get into the Hilltop before the Saviors had a chance to get in the open gate. He booked it as fast as his bike would let him through the gates and past the bus, Sasha driving it forward behind in as just as the big black truck Negan had jumped into ran through the gate, ramming the bus right where metal had reinforced it. Gunning it around one of the trucks they'd positioned to use as cover, he practically shut the bike off before it was even stopped and jumped off, grabbing his gun. As he turned around, he wasn't at all surprised to see his wife running towards him, ducked down low behind the cars and trucks.
"You were supposed to stay inside!" he whispered at her angrily as the Saviors made their way around the bus.
"Yeah, well shite changes, and I can' do what I did at home again. I jus' can'," she told him right before Maggie gave the signal.
With her shout, everyone popped up and started firing at the Saviors. It was obvious they hadn't been expecting their forces to have so much ammunition as they began to scatter. At least an eighth of the Saviors were down before they even had a chance to retreat, though it didn't matter in the end. Not all of the Savior's forces had come through the gate. With a shout from Negan, both Daryl and Ani watched as several of their people went down, Daryl's hand on the back of her collar grabbing her out of the way of an arrow herself.
"They ain' usin' guns?" Ani asked, looking at the arrow on the ground. "Somethin' ain' right."
"Don't matter right now, come on," Daryl answered, the two of them raising their weapons and firing on the Saviors some more.
They continued firing at people while doing their best to avoid enemy fire, Saviors without bows and arrows pouring through the gates. It was hard to tell who was where, but Ani could see that several of the men and women on the upper defense of the wall were injured. She wasn't sure how many of theirs had died as she and Daryl weaved their way around the vehicles they'd set up as a defense. While it made it harder for the arrows to reach their troops on the ground, it also made it easier for the Saviors who came through the gate without getting shot to sneak up on them. It was literally a game of cat and mouse, where the mouse could become the cat at any moment. Ani was just thankful that she wasn't stuck inside with the kids as much as she was that she'd left the bobcats inside. Catty was upstairs with Judith and Grace while Bobby was with Sophia as an extra source of protection for the girl.
She and Daryl ran around one of the tents that had been set up to house the several refugees from the Kingdom and Alexandria, dodging arrows as they went. They pressed their backs up against a truck as they each looked in different directions to check their surroundings. Ani noticed Tara not too far away, firing away at the Saviors as she moved in and out of cover behind another vehicle. Only a few Saviors had managed to make it into the gates, but feeling Daryl stiffen next to her made her look his way. It wasn't that hard to catch sight of the man they both loathed sneaking through the tents, Dwight following behind him. The bastard had a new crossbow with him, Ani taking aim only for Daryl to once again pull her back. They watched as the two men tried to sneak up on Tara, Daryl calling out her name only for a Savior to pop up right in front of Ani, her hand moving fast to grab a knife out and throw it. It was an automatic reaction to pull the knife and not raise the gun, her reaction time with the knives much faster, even though it didn't matter. Daryl had raised his gun and shot the man through the head at the same time as her knife found purchase in his eye.
They both turned in time to watch Negan raising his bat to charge Tara when Dwight shot her with an arrow. She turned around as she squeezed the trigger to her gun, causing Negan to retreat along with Dwight. Both she and Daryl raised their guns and began firing towards the men as they ran. Ani just wanted to land one bullet, just one, one either of them, but they were protected by the Hilltop's own defenses as they made their retreat. Neither she nor Daryl noticed when the light to Barrington was shot out, neither caring to pay much attention to anything other than harming Negan and Dwight until they were out of sight. They looked over to Tara, noticing Beth coming to help Tara retreat from where she was slumped over on the ground.
"Daryl, Ani, it's time," Michonne whisper-shouted at them. "Maggie gave the signal. We gotta go."
"Dammit!" Ani cursed, pissed by the missed opportunity to take Negan out, but moving to head to the house nonetheless. When she noticed Daryl rooted in spot, she went back to him and grabbed his hand, "Baby, come on. We'll get 'em soon 'nough, but right now, we got ta go."
"Yeah," was his gruff reply before letting her lead him away.
Together, they went with Michonne to their next spots as the 'Bomb Squad,' as Ani and Abraham had called them, threw smoke bombs everywhere, covering their own positions. As soon as the air was thick with smoke, their people behind the line of cars in front of the manor began to shoot out the lights of the Saviors. The more lights went out, the happier Ani became, because she knew that their plan was going to work. When the very last light went out, everyone at the Hilltop ceased their fire. Ani held up a hand that was passed to Ezekiel on one side, Michonne on the other, all of them waiting to give the order. She could hear one of the Saviors mumble something to the others as she looked through the window of the car she was against. The Saviors were coming around the bus, and Ani was just waiting for the bulk of their force to move in. She watched as they fanned out, smiling as two different groups moved to the side, still working in their favor. Negan began whistling, a futile attempt at intimidation, only getting two of that damn two-note whistle out before Ani dropped her hand, Michonne and Ezekiel doing the same.
At the silent command, those in the cars facing out turned their lights on, blinding the Saviors, right before they rained fire down on the enemy. From the second and third floor, gunshots rang out as their secondary force took on their primary role in the fight. Ani heard Negan call for an immediate retreat, even as several of his men were mowed down. The Saviors went running back to their vehicles, Ani outright laughing in joy as the auxiliary force moved in. Rick, Abraham, and Merle led the group that had been out monitoring the roads, their own lights trapping the Saviors in their blind state.
Ani could hear Negan cussing and cursing all of them in his attempt to get back to safety, his men being injured or killed as both sides of the battle pinned the Saviors down. She ran out of bullets at the same time as she saw Simon yelling to get down as he moved around the bus and ran for his truck. Pulling out her knives, she began throwing them at every Savior she could until the surviving attackers had made it to their vehicles and began peeling out. Several vehicles were abandoned as she, Maggie, Merle, Sasha, and Abraham formed a line with handguns out, Ani receiving hers from Maggie as she came running out of the house. Daryl was helping Rick find the rest of the Saviors that were being left behind as the rest abandoned the fight. Maggie was on the verge of tears as she watched the Saviors leave, Merle cursing as Abraham simply put a hand on his shoulder, Sasha coming over to wrap Maggie in a side hug.
"I wanted them dead," Maggie told them, her voice breaking. "All of them. Negan most of all."
"Ya and me both," Ani said angrily.
"Did you see him?" she asked.
"Yeah. D and I had 'im in our sights, jus' couldn' land a hit."
"I saw him out there," Merle admitted. "Tried takin' him out, but the fucker got away. He's gonna die, gotta. Nobody messes with the Dixons and gets away with it."
"Amen ta that, brotha."
"Thank you," Maggie said after a few seconds.
"Everything good here?" Rick asked, him and Daryl walking up as the rest of them walked back towards the house.
"As good as it's gonna get considerin' we made it through with our balls still intact," Abraham told him.
"We got to get the injured inside. Ani, do you think you could help out? We need as many hands as we can get right now."
"Yeah, I can do that," Ani responded before turning to Daryl. "Go get Phia and send 'er down. She needs ta learn crisis management as well ta be a good doc some day."
"Alright," he told her, though he grabbed her arm and stopped her for a minute. "You doin' alright, baby girl?"
"We didn' get 'im," was all she said. "He was right there and we didn' get 'im."
"We will. Ain't that what you've been sayin'."
"Yeah, but 'e was right there."
"I know," he said, giving her a kiss on the forehead before the pair went inside, Daryl heading upstairs while Ani got to work with some of the injured.
It took the better part of the night to tend to the wounded and clear out the bodies. While Sophia and Ani helped inside by cleaning cuts, bandaging the wounded, and making obscene amounts of poultice to use to keep infection at bay, Daryl was outside helping to clear the dead. The prisoners had been put back in their pen, though not before Ani had the chance to punch Gregory again for his asinine comments about not belonging in there. As she had put it, if he didn't belong in there, he wouldn't be, and as no one in the Hilltop had let him out, he was going to stay in there until Ani and Maggie told him otherwise. Ani had, however, asked why Alden was still in the pen, along with a couple of the other Saviors that had knowledge they could use to build up the defenses if Negan decided to attack again. She'd then asked how Maggie was even still standing when she was ready to hit the sack and stay there for a couple days straight, only to be told that Maggie wasn't fairing any better. As such, she told Enid how to make the tea she'd once made on the farm all that time ago to help Maggie rest before heading outside to talk to the rest of their original group. Once it was ready, they took it to Maggie, who thanked Enid before heading outside with both her and Ani.
"We don't have the resources to fight off another attack," she told them. "Be ready to go."
Enid readily agreed before Ani moved away, spotting Daryl walking towards one of the cars being moved. He wasted no time in grabbing her as soon as she was close enough and bringing her under his arm as she leaned into him and sighed. They were both exhausted and in need of some rest but knew it would be another couple days before they could really relax. Daryl started leading her back to the house, intending to at least make her sit down for a little while, but stopped when they saw Tara climbing out of one of the cars.
"Hey," Daryl called out. "You shouldn't be out here."
"Ya need ta rest ya shoulda," Ani agreed.
"It's just—it's just a scratch," she denied. "Besides, Beth fixed it up really well. I can help."
"What if it wasn't?" Daryl asked.
"Then it'd be my own damn fault," Tara told them. "He's back with them because of me."
"No, he's back with 'em 'cause that's who he is," Daryl replied.
"He's a piece a shite, Tara. Ain' ya fault the bastard has no loyalties ta anyone."
"We—we got lucky. Finding Maggie...Rick...you," Tara said, pointedly looking at Ani. "It could've been different. It was for me, when I was with the Governor."
"Yeah, but you weren't one of them," he argued, Ani nodding with his assessment.
"But I was with them. Your brother, too."
"My brother?" Daryl asked. "Merle ran the wrong way his whole life 'til he found out someone else had it worse, was runnin' from worse," he told her, his arm around Ani's shoulders squeezing her just a bit tighter to him as she turned to press her chest against his side, though her growing belly made it less comfortable than before. "If things had been any different, if we'd have never met Ania, if he didn't learn what she went through, we'd be with the Saviors, too, or some other group just like 'em. But I'd have figured out who they were, just like you did."
"Maybe that's what happened with Dwight," Tara argued, Ani practically growling in response.
"The bastard killed Denny, and now ya defendin' 'im?"
"She's right. Or is that all square now?"
"It is," Tara told them. "Look, I might hate him forever, but he saved my life."
"No, he tried to kill you last night," Daryl countered.
"And even if 'e didn', savin' ya life don' make up for fuckin' killin' Denise! Don' make up for what 'e did ta Daryl!"
"When we were in the woods," Tara said calmly, even though the two in front of her were angry, "when we were coming here, I saw him try to help us win."
"Yeah, I saw what I saw too," Daryl told her before pulling Ani with him as he walked away.
They were both seething when Merle walked up to them, offering them each a turnip, "'Bout the only damn thing left. Gonna go huntin' in a bit with Abe and Sasha. See if we can't bag a buck or two to drag back."
"Sounds good," Ani said. "Let us grab our bows and we'll go, too."
"Hell no," Merle countered. "You got a bun in the oven and a kid about to go postal. And you gotta stick around to make sure she don't be stupid and work herself to death. We got this. The two a ya stick 'round here and help out with what's goin' on. We'll be back by nightfall or shortly thereafter."
"Thank ya for tellin' us," Ani told him, knowing that he usually sent someone else to inform them.
"Oh, shut up," he told her.
"I should talk ta Phia," Ani admitted, looking up at Daryl. "I kinda got a little short with 'er before the attack, and even though I told 'er I wasn' angry, I think I still hurt 'er."
"Ain't like you."
"I dealt with Enid bein' jealous a Phia and Carl gettin' tagetha-"
"What are we doin' about that?"
"Nothin'," she laughed, though the look on her face softened as she looked up at him. "They're fourteen-ish. Might as well let 'em be. 'Sides, it ain' like 'e's a rando we don' know. We've helped raise the boy, too. And damn ya for distractin' me with ya dad question! What was I sayin'?"
"Somethin' 'bout Enid," he scoffed.
"Right! Dealt with Enid bein' jealous a them, then Phia got jealous a how Carol's treatin' Henry. I don' blame the girl, but she needs ta let it go. It's only gonna hurt 'er the more she expects somethin' out a Carol that she jus' ain' gonna get. I know exactly how she feels, 'cause I went through it meself. Took foreva for me to jus' accept it. I don' want it ta take 'er that long, and I don' want it take keep holdin' 'er back. She's got all 'er life ahead a her, ya know? I don' want 'er dwellin' on the should a, would a, could a's. But every time I tell 'er, it jus' goes in one ear and out the otha."
"Like you said, she's fourteen-ish," Daryl told her. "Ain't gonna listen unless it's easy. Hell, I know I didn't. And Merle was already goin' to juvie by that time."
"Yeah," Ani drew out, "I was workin' on me first degree. I didn' really do much rebellion."
"You're kiddin', right?" Daryl teased. "Weren't you pick-pocketin' cops and assholes? Stealin' cars? Drinkin' and settin' barns on fire?"
"Well, yeah, but it wasn' like I had an adult in me life I was rebellin' against. I was jus' bein' a dumbass," she laughed. "I really gotta go talk ta Phia. What're ya goin' ta be up ta while I'm doin' that?"
"Still got a lot that needs doin' around here. I'll be in in a bit."
"Alright," she said, Daryl turning to walk away before she called him back. "Hey!"
"What? Got somethin' to add after arson?"
"Ya, I love ya," Ani told him, leaning up and kissing him gently on the lips.
"Love you, too," he responded when she leaned back, capturing her lips once again.
The giddy smile she had on her face when he pulled away was all he needed to see after the night they'd had before he walked away. Ani couldn't help but to stare at his back before heading into the house, thinking about how she was going to get through to Sophia. The first time she'd talked to the girl, she was met with a lot of tears at what Carol had to say about her birth and even more anger towards Carol than Sophia had already been feeling. The second time, when she'd tried to explain post traumatic stress syndrome and how Carol was dealing with it, Sophia had claimed not to care, but it was clear that she wasn't ready to forgive her. This would be the third time she talked to her, and if it didn't stick this time around, if she couldn't get Sophia to resolve her anger, she knew she would have to leave it alone and simply be the mother the girl needed. It wasn't as if the anger she felt at her own mother's reasons for hurting her as a child had magically disappeared. Sometimes, the anger wouldn't go away and you just had to learn to live with it, like both Merle and Abraham did. She just hoped that Sophia wouldn't be one to have to live like that, too.
Walking into the house, she saw Sophia heading upstairs and followed her. It was pretty easy to find her as the girl simply went into the room she and Daryl had been given to use. She was sat down on the bed when Ani came in, scowl on her face and arms folded. Ani scoffed and shook her head at the young teen because she was sitting exactly how Ani did when she was being told something she didn't want to hear, mostly from Daryl or Merle. Pulling out the small desk chair and sitting down in it across from Sophia, she waited a moment to give Sophia a chance to speak first. It took a couple more before the girl sighed and began talking.
"Why does she have to constantly pick other kids?! I was right there and she didn't say a single damn thing to me, but was gushin' over that...that...that boy! Why doesn't she care about me?" she yelled, getting off the bed and pacing.
"She does care, Phia. It may not be the way ya want 'er ta, but she cared 'nough ta know she wasn' any good for ya. Care 'nough ta let me take ya. And ya know damn well I care 'bout ya. So does Merle, and Daryl. Ya know, I know how ya feel."
"How could you?! Your mother didn't abandon you!" Sophia said in anger, causing Ani to hiss in a breath.
"I'm goin' ta give ya a second ta think 'bout what ya jus' said ta me," she replied in a low voice, doing her best to remember she was here to talk to Sophia about her, not berate her for something said in anger.
Sophia looked at her angrily before realization dawned on her face and the girl started tearing up, "I'm sorry. I didn't...I didn't mean it."
"I know. That's why I told ya ta think 'bout it. Ya angry, I get it. That don' mean ya goin' ta take it out on me. Ya need ta take it out, tell Merle and have 'im spar with ya. Or Beth. At least 'til I'm able ta again. I do know how ya feelin'. Only difference is I knew me momma didn' like me from the get go. But I always asked meself, 'why?' Why wasn' I 'nough? Why wasn' I loved? Why didn' they care 'bout me? Why was it me? Why, why, why?" Ani told her. "That ain' healthy. It ain' any healthia than holdin' onta all a that anga. Ya don' got ta forgive Carol for what she's done ta ya, and it's okay ta be angry that it happened. But it ain' ya fault. There ain' a damn thing ya could a done different. Ain' a damn thing ya could a done ta make 'er different."
"But it ain' fair! She's my mom!"
"Is she, though? Do ya still think she's ya momma? 'Cause ya don' got ta see her that way. Ya can jus' see her as Carol, an acquaintance ya met when the world went ta shite. Ain' like ya don' got a momma jus' 'cause Carol ain' able ta be yours."
"But I don't if she doesn't even want to say I'm her daughter," Sophia pouted, Ani putting her best offended face on and her hands crossed over her heart.
"What the fuck am I?" she asked. "Chopped liva? What 'bout Daryl? Merle? I know damn well Merle's been callin' me ya momma for a while, and have I eva once corrected 'im?"
"Well, no."
"Phia, it don' matta what blood does when ya find people that want ta be ya family and want ya as family. And 'cause a that, ya don' got ta forgive or forget what Carol's done ta ya. But ya got ta stop blamin' yaself. Ya got ta let go a that anga, or else ya goin' ta blow up like Sasha did afta Bob, like Abraham has several times, like I have before. When I was ya age, I was always angry, always blamin' meself for what happened at home, 'fore I left for college. Like Daryl jus' teased me 'bout, I was drinkin', smokin' weed, stealin' cars, stealin' wallets, all 'round the time I started workin' for the station. I damn near got caught so many times 'til I realized it wasn' me fault. Jus' like it ain' ya fault. Thing is, it's both Carol's fault and not 'er fault. If it were the old days, she could a gotten some help for 'er mind, gone ta therapy, done somethin' if she was able ta leave Ed, but that's a big if. She was traumatized, and didn' want ya ta have that life. She didn' think she was good 'nough for ya afta I came 'round and started raisin' ya. A part a her sees Henry as a do ova. Ya both blonde, and 'e's 'bout the same age as ya were when this all started. I think, I think she sees 'im and somethin' in 'er wants ta do for 'im what she couldn' for ya."
"But that's not fair. Why can she do it for him but not me?"
"'Cause ya have me doin' it for ya," Ani told her gently. "I mean, aside from blood, do ya really think a Carol as ya momma? Who comes ta mind when ya think 'bout ya family?"
Sophia thought about it for a moment before a small smile appeared on her face, "You, Pops, and Daryl."
"Do ya really think we don' think a ya as family?"
"No."
"Then do ya still think ya don' got a family that cares 'bout ya and loves ya ta death?"
"No," she said while looking down, her smile growing.
"So, don' look at it like she abandoned ya. She gave ya up ta a betta life, a betta family, people that could make ya stronga, people who'll keep ya strong and safe. She might be able ta do that now for a kid, but she made sure ya had the people that could do it when ya needed it. She don' got ta be ya mom. 'Sides that, ya nothin' like Carol anymore. Hell, if ya like, ya should start callin' yaself a Dixon, 'cause ya are one through and through. Ya been through the ringa and come out a fuckin' warrior woman. Jus' think 'bout it, okay? Ya don' even got ta talk ta Carol no more if ya don' want ta, but ya got ta find a way ta move past it."