Chapter 26 - Rain

Sound of rain and his footsteps were the only thing he could hear as Cor walked alone in a quiet street. He wasn't in the mood of eating in the citadel, and thus, even though it was raining outside, he decided to have lunch at his favorite izakaya after months.

Months, yes. The last time he visited that diner, it was a few days before he rejected a love confession from a certain crownsguard medic. And since, he didn't want to visit that place as he was afraid it would just bring the bittersweet memories with her. But now, he decided to visit it after two months, thinking that he finally overcame his broken heart.

It was July, the rainy season, the beginning of summer.

And his love story was over in spring. In May. When the cherry blossoms shed all of its petals. And he should also shed all of his feelings toward her. Even though he couldn't. And heck, even now he was still thinking about her.

And in the secret, Cor wished that Eira was there in that izakaya, enjoying her meal alone or with whomever she was. Even if from afar, he would be very happy to see her. Happy, even though it was also bringing the pain to his chest.

Cor walked in, greeted by the waiter who led him inside. Usually, it was Eira who would answer "For two people," when the waiter asked "For how many people?" when they entered this place. But now he was the one who said it.

"For one person." One person. Something that he didn't say anymore in this place since he was always going here with her. But from now on, he would always say "For one person"—unless he came here with his workmate. Workmate who wasn't Eira. He would never be with her anymore.

Not anymore.

He sat alone in a non-smoking area. Sighing, he looked around, watching some people were sitting with others, with workmates, with friends, and some with lovers—perhaps.

Lover.

Did they look like one when they were together?

Cor shifted his gaze, from those people who enjoyed their meal with their companions, to the wooden table on his front. He then raised his head, toward the empty seat before his eyes.

He could clearly remember how Eira was usually sitting there in front of him. She would smile at him, talking to him with the gentle voice he loved, looking at him with her tender gaze, and she would laugh as they talked about something funny. And then he would smile, being enveloped in happiness, which would never come again to his life.

He missed her.

He missed her so much.

Then the food came, and there he was, enjoying his lunch alone. A year ago, it was totally okay for him to be alone while having his meal. But now, something was missing. There was an emptiness in his heart, a vacant room because the one he loved had left him.

No.

She didn't leave him.

It was him who casted her away. He was the one who rejected her, not allowing her to stay by his side as his lover.

A sigh escaped his lips as he finished his food. It only took him five minutes to finish his lunch, unlike when he was with her. He would deliberately slow down his pace because he didn't want to make her hurry if she saw him already finished his food before her.

Cor then left the diner right away after he savored his desert.

As he opened the door and stepped outside, he looked at the sky. It was still raining. He then opened his umbrella and walked back to the citadel.

The sound of pouring rain surrounded him. From the dripping sound on his umbrella, and the one to the ground. It rained quite heavily, and even though it was supposed to be summer, the air was cold.

Eira…

And just like what he usually did whenever he walked alone, he was thinking of her.

He wondered what she was doing now. Did she have lunch, yet? Would she be in the infirmary now? Would she be in the library?

He rarely saw her these past two months. And of course she didn't come anymore to Prompto's shooting practice—which disappointed the crownsguard cadet. Of course she would never come. It seemed that Cor had received her hatred. She kept avoiding him all this time. Well, not that Cor initiated any contact though.

"Huh?" Cor stopped walking when his eyes suddenly caught a familiar figure.

There was a young woman who was standing outside of a small building. It seemed that she was sheltering from the rain. But Cor clearly recognized her. That long raven hair, that small profile, the sense of fashion, the way she stood. It was Eira. And even though she was metres away, Cor could recognize her.

Cor stopped walking, wondering what he should do.

It seemed that she didn't have an umbrella so she stayed there, under a small roof from a shop.

Cor looked at his own umbrella. Nah, Eira wouldn't want to share the umbrella with him. He was sure that she hated him already. And also, even if Cor gave the umbrella to her, she wouldn't accept it. It was the only umbrella he had and even if Eira really did hate him, she would never let him drench under the rain.

Frowning as he contemplated things. He suddenly remembered that there was a convenient store around here. He just walked past it a few minutes ago.

Right. He could just buy the new one and give it to Eira.

Good.

That was a good idea.

Cor turned around then dashed to the store.

Eira sighed, leaning her back against the wall of a closed shop in this street. She watched the rain drops, as they fell to the ground and bounced in the small puddle on her front.

It hadn't rained yet when she left the citadel to have lunch outside. But then after she finished her lunch, the rain began to pour down when she walked back to the citadel.

She tried to run as fast as possible, but the rain began to fall heavily and she should refrain from drenching herself by taking shelter at the nearest roof she could find. And there she was, in front of a closed shop, hoping that the rain would stop soon.

She forgot to bring her umbrella, even though she already saw the forecast that told her that it will rain in the afternoon. She had her umbrella in the citadel, and she just forgot to bring it when she decided to eat outside. And another amazing thing, her phone was dead and she couldn't call Lizette or anyone else to bring an umbrella for her.

She hoped that the rain wouldn't last too long.

"Hei…"

Eira gasped when she suddenly heard a hoarse voice she knew well. Jolted, she quickly turned her head to the source of the voice. Eyes widened, mouth opened, she froze when her eyes caught the figure of a man that rejected her confession months ago in front of her now.

"Cor…?" she muttered softly. Not believing her eyes, she blinked a few times to be sure that the man wasn't only in her imagination.

"Here." Cor stretched his arm. In his hand, there was an umbrella, and Eira still couldn't digest what was happening.

"Huh?" Eira looked at the umbrella, then frowned at Cor.

He was giving her the umbrella? What? Wait? How could he know that she was here? And how come he had two umbrellas?

"Seems you don't have any umbrella with you." Cor still held out his hand, waiting for Eira to take the white umbrella in his hand.

It was the kind of umbrella which was sold at convenience stores. The small one. And it looked like it was new.

Don't tell me…?

"Why?" Eira mumbled, she still didn't want to take the umbrella from him.

"Because… it's raining."

What a simple answer, she wanted to chuckle but she remembered that she was still angry at him… for rejecting her.

"Why do you have two umbrellas?"

Cor didn't answer. His blue eyes moved, avoiding her gaze. He then said—still not looking at her—, "Just take it."

"No." Eira shook her head. "Why did you do this for me?"

"It's raining. As simple as that."

"No…"

Cor frowned.

"It's not simple… At least not for me…" Her voice began to quiver.

"Ei—"

"Don't give me false hope." Raising her head, she looked straight at his eyes. "Don't be kind to me. You said my feelings aren't one-sided. But then you rejected me. You haven't even talked to me anymore since then. I thought you had moved on. And here you are, giving me an umbrella. Why don't you just pretend that you didn't see me and then just walk back to the citadel?"

Tears began to pile beneath her eyelids. Her hands were trembling. And her heart was thumping loudly.

She was angry and frustrated. All these days she kept holding back her feelings, burying her disappointment at him deep down in her heart. But now when he showed up again, forcing her to receive his kindness, she couldn't hold it anymore. All those words were bursting out without her actually allowing them to.

She was just too angry.

If she was allowed, she wanted to say more, more than that. She wanted to yell at him for rejecting her even though he had the same feelings as her. She wanted to scream at him for not replying to her last message, what a heartless man. She wanted to let out her anger and yelled at him because he didn't even tell her if she should join that shooting practice with Prompto again or not.

She was angry. She was disappointed.

She was too sad.

"Eira…"

"Why should you stop by and give me the umbrella?"

"You can't just wait here forever." Cor answered. But clearly, he avoided touching the subject that she brought. About her love confession.

"It's not about rain…" she said.

Cor didn't reply. He brought down his arm, no longer waiting for Eira to take the umbrella he was going to give.

She continued, "It has been two months. And… I still love you…"

Her voice was rather a whisper. But she was sure that Cor could clearly hear it. She looked down, sighing.

Now this marked the second confession. She thought that she had given up. That when she avoided him these past two months, she could finally move on from this stupid feeling. But now, seeing him again this close, as he gave her an umbrella which he probably bought somewhere, it just crushed all of the effort she built to forget him.

She loved him.

She still did.

And she was sure that he still felt the same.

Not receiving any single reply from him, Eira raised her head again. Cor was staring at her, with a sad look on his face.

"You're going to reject me again, right?" Eira asked, giving him a wry smile as she already knew what his answer was going to be.

"This is wrong. Us… is wrong… We can't be together," Cor said.

"Well, don't give me the umbrella, then." She smiled. As she finished the sentence, a line of tears fell down to her cheek.

She cried again.

He could've just put the umbrella next to her and walked away. No need to call her. No need to talk to her.

Cor was dumb, stupid, foolish. For secretly wanting to talk to her. For secretly wanting to hear her voice again. Now what he did? He just made her cry again.

Truth was he wanted to just pull her inside his arms, caressing her head and kissing her lips. He just wanted to hug her, tightly, closely, and didn't want to let go of her anymore.

She just stated her second confession. It could be the time for him to finally accept her. Revoking his previous rejection. Accepting her as his lover.

But he was a coward. Being afraid of what people would think of them. Fearing what people would say about them.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

Cor placed the umbrella against the wall. Taking it or not, it would be her decision.

He clenched his fist as he looked back at her.

Eira was wiping her tears, but still managed to give a painful smile at him.

"I…"

I love you…

Cor gulped, trying to wash down those words from his throat. He didn't want to let it slip out from his lips. For it would be another false hope for her.

Clenching his fist, he shut his eyes then walked away from her.

Great.

Cor.

Another stupid thing that you did.

He cursed himself as he walked. He regretted it. He regretted it so much.

And from now on, he swore to himself not to talk to her anymore. For it would just hurt her—and him.