AlsethGosia, I took such a different turn that I'm curious to see what you'll think about now lol
Guest, LOL luck indeed ;) and yes, that's what Hermione should hope for. Let's see if she'll manage, right?
Chapter XI - Blessings in disguise
The flurry of owls arriving for morning post was another reminder that there was no one outside of Hogwarts waiting for her. The dayly prophet hanging from one cute little owl's leg did nothing to curb the feeling of disapointment in her chest, and Hermione found herself longing for Ginny's caligraphy that kept her up to date on the going-ons in their friends' life.
- 'Harry says hi, he wants to know if your parents confirmed their presence in our christmas dinner? Of course I would have remembered to ask! He seems to think that I'll get carried away retelling Fleur's latest adventure with Bill. Well, where was I?'
She didn't realize she had been staring blankly at the prophet's first page until the impatient owl called her attention to the fact that she didn't give the poor thing a treat. Well, that won't do. Once the bird was properly appeased with her offerings, it flew away leaving Hermione to her sad devices.
REAL THREAT? EX-MINISTER DENOUNCES MEMBERS OF WINZEGAMOT!
She couldn't focus on the paper, even when the headlines called her attention. The black and white picture of a stern man pointing his index finger as he spoke gave her a clear indication that the people on the receiving end of that speech had gotten on his last nerve.
"Do you mind sharing your Daily Prophet, Ms. Grey?" The familiar voice of her charms Professor, and friend, did something to elevate Hermione's spirits. She looked at him with a smile and gave him the whole paper instead.
"You can have it, I honestly feel too distracted to read anything this morning."
The grateful smile she received in return might not have been intended to make her feel welcome, but it was one of the few times since arriving at Hogwarts that she felt some semblance of normalcy.
"I can give you the short version of the news."
"I'd appreciate that, Thank you."
Fillius straightened the newspaper as the page bend to touch the breakfast table, but just before he could get into his reading, he paused. As if a thought just crossed his mind. "Eighteen students signed up for the dueling club yesterday." His light blue orbs moved to the right so he could acknowledge Hermione. "How did you manage to make a whole class give up their friday afternoon for more schoolwork? Some of them don't even want to be aurors, last I checked."
I expected more of a fuss to convince everyone to go, to be honest She thought, but didn't say it. What she did say was: "I guess that they really want an O. I might have attached the extra-curricular as a parcel of their grades. A small parcel, but if they want to go above exceeds expectations, they will show for the dueling club. It seems that they truly want to learn defense against the dark arts."
"That's interesting, because I tried that approach a few years ago to see if I could get the students interested in the dueling arts, since charms and wand work go hand in hand..." In some cases. Hermione could see that the same thought crossed Fillius mind, he tilted his head as if to forcefuly skip over that tibbit of information. "But if I got five more students to participate, it was too much. In the end, that only served to get many bright students' grades down when they deserved outstandings, so I eventually abandoned that strategy."
Hermione nodded. As much as she didn't expect the students to accept so easily, she also didn't predict the bad situation Fillius described. It was a great oversight on her part, and now she is glad she didn't try that approach in other classes.
"I can imagine how that would be bad. And I don't intent to keep it up for all my classes, but I find it important to prepare our NEWT level students for the world out there. I guess I just convinced them that it was important to learn how to fight."
"And I'm glad that they listened."
I think that it was more luck than anything... She thought, once more keeping it to herself, merely smiling at him.
After that, Fillius would read an article, then shortly after sum things up for her. It was a good way to keep her grounded to the present, and not on what might have, could have, or would have been's... If only the news were less worrying, she'd properly bask in the calm of the moment.
But Hermione could see the storm brewing in the horizon.
Expectum Patronum
Feelings x (Willpower + Intent) = Magic
"As you can see..." Hermione said, adding some details to her equation. She was trying to avoid looking straight in Andromeda's direction, writing things by hand on the board helped with that. It was a proper stalling method.
Feelings x (Willpower + Intent) = Magic
The smile Andie had on her face made Hermione think of the heartbroken widow, and grieving mother that didn't show her kindness often anymore. She looks so full of joy... The realization made her feel even worse for the losses she witnessed in the woman's life... And a little bit guilty for having avoided her due to her likeness to Bellatrix. But there's only so much I can do to stall... Better face her already.
With a smile, Hermione turned around...
But chickened out and decided to focus instead on the young man who was going to steal Andromeda's heart, sitting on the other side of the room. He isn't anything like the dork I imagined. Short - yet volumous - brown hair, cut in the style that's so 60's - expertly parted to the right - made Ted look very much like your usual actor cast to play the part of prince charming. Especially when he had that determined expression on his face, paying close attention to what was written on the board. "There are many things involved in the process of making our magic come to life, and it is all conected. But, before I explain it, I want to correct one slight misconception on the definition of magic." She turned to face the board again.
"On your very first year you learn that Magic is inate. That's correct, but not perfectly acurate..." Her hand didn't stop working, and she was glad for another chance to avoid seeing Andie, even if from the corner of her eye. "It still stands that Magic is inate, that definition is not wrong."
Magical Core≠ Magic
"But there's a difference between Magical Core and Magic that I want you to understand."
Magical Core: It stores the power inate to wizards and witches.
Magic: The energy that flows inside of us. What we make come to life.
"To be more precise, our Magical Core is what's inate, it's our reserve of magic. It's what we are either born with it, or don't have it. Magic is inate, yes, but that's due to our magical core. Without a magical core to store this power inside of us, there would be no Magic." Some people looked a bit lost on the explanation, so she tried to think of an illustration. "Magic is water, our Magical Core is the bottle." She wasn't an artist, but she tried to draw it on board to make it more visible. Small mineral water bottles open to receive the constant Magic flowing from a waterfall she named 'Unknown source of magic'. Those who believed in blood as the source would certainly be pissed off. Some bottles had holes in them, so they were unable to keep the water in. "Without a magical core, a person is unable to keep magic inside of them. Understand the difference between Magic, and Magical Core?"
She turned around, paying attention to every single face in the room, looking for signs that what she said was much too confusing for them to follow. No one seemed to be lost, and Andromeda looked like she just understood something particularly important, so she continued. "Willpower..." She enchanted the chalk to point at the word on the equation, that she had drawed in the begining of the class, while she continued facing them. "Is conected to our magical core. The more you exercise it, the more your magical core expands, which gives you more endurance in a prolonged battle. It dictates how many spells you can cast..." One small water bottle of 250ml beside one that seemed to hold 20L illustrated who would cast more spells.
Willpower: Our magical "stamina".
As per habit, she started to pace in a slow fashion while speaking "Intent..." The enchanted chalk went down to hover under the other word "Is our will to make things happen. When we say accio." The half-used chalk came to her hand "We will the object to come to us. It's what we want to happen. The intent behind magic is what dictates the nature, and strenght of the spells we cast."
Intent: The strenght, and will behind the spell.
Now people looked confused, so let go of the chalk, to allow it to go towards the board once more. She kept looking at them to see if they would follow her line of thought.
Willpower ≠ Intent
Willpower without intent = No magic. "Without intent, the spell doesn't happen. No matter how great your willpower is. That's what happens when you have the power, but don't know how to use it."
She paused while the sound of chalk working on the board signaled that the tiny white object wasn't done writing.
Intent without willpower = No magic. "Same goes on reverse. Without willpower, you may wish with every fiber of your being for something to happen... It won't. That's what happen to squibs and muggles."
The chalk circled the (Willpower + Intent) on the equation. "That's how these two are conected... Willpower and intent are not one single unit, but they work together to reach the result we want."
Slow nods coming from some students let her know that things were starting to make sense for them.
"And it all starts..." The chalk hovered over the word feelings "With our ability to feel. Our magical core is deeply conected to our emotions. That's why, when we are young, we are more prone to accidental magic. It's a phase of our lives where we feel things strongly, and can't control our emotions very well."
One hand went up, and Hermione nodded in the direction of the Slytherin boy sitting on the far back "Mr. Nott, is it?"
He noded and crossed his arms "What if a person can't feel?"
Hermione smiled "That's a very important question. What happens when a person receives a dementor's kiss?"
He answered easily, but not without looking a little bit ill. "They... become cathatonic. It's a death sentence."
"But they breath, their heart still beat, their body still work in the phisical aspect of it... Why do we consider them dead?"
"...Because they've been sucked of all emotions. They're... empty." He said, weakly, after a few seconds of hesitation.
She nodded and decided to proceed with the class without prompting him on this any longer. He clearly knew someone who had gone through a dementors kiss. If it was a close family member, or a distant relative, she didn't know. Even just the second-hand experience of seeing the sentence was horrible enough.
"Magic is life. Our feelings are the spark that starts the fire of our willpower and intent. A traumatic experience, or a mental illness, that messes with a person's ability to feel can also interfere with their ability to do magic. Not necessarily only a dementor's kiss can strip a person of their life."
Silence met her statement. She was glad they weren't messing around in her class. Up until now, with the exception of that particularly loud class of firsties, she felt lucky with the goal oriented people she had been teaching. They paid close attention to everything she said, and she took full advantage of it.
"The stronger our feelings, be it positive, or negative, the stronger your spell's intensity, because it feeds intention as well as willpower. When you are just too scared, the spell you cast in that situation might never be replicated. It can be a one-time-thing. However, sometimes..." The chalk underlined the word on the top of the board, that was right in the middle, written on big letters so everyone could see.
Expecto Patronum
"You remember the feeling. And you can do it again." Her students probably thought that the incantation was left over from some other class she forgot to erase, so they only noticed it now. "The Patronus Charm. The level of dificulty of this spell is not on the incantation, intention, or willpower... This spell is only so difficult, because it is essencially one of the few that is born from a specific feeling... Does anyone here knows which feeling serves to cast the Patronus charm?"
Many hands went up in the air, Hermione decided to face Andromeda head on. She nodded in her direction "Ms. Black."
At the sight of her bright smile, she had to remind herself that nothing bad had happened yet. I will avoid her losses... None of that will happen. I won't let it happen... "Happiness."
The ghost of the future Andromeda Tonks was a constant reminder of what was at stake if she failed...
"Very well, five points to Slytherin." She smiled back at the girl, then turned towards the board to let her face show how much she was was hurting. Allowing herself a moment to feel all the pain from the future she was trying to avoid.
Happiness
She wrote on the board.
After taking a deep breath, she turned around again with a smile as bright as the one she received from the Slytherin student sitting on the front row. "Happiness. Undiluted, untainted by any negative emotion. Pure, honest happiness."
"Will you teach us how to cast the patronus?" Rabastan Lestrange asked. She recognized him by the assossiation of last names. He couldn't be more different from his brother if he tried. His question was obviously something that escaped, rather than planed.
While Rodolphus was clearly an extroverted boy who didn't hesitate to participate, even interrupt her line of thought quite a bit with his whispers, Rabastan was much too quiet, as if he didn't even have friends to talk to during class. The face looked similar, but his neutral stoic expression wold look alien on Rodolphus. The attitude was so different that she could tell them apart by sight.
Even his shock wasn't anything like his brother's despite sharing the same square jaw, brown downturned eyes, and mid length dark-brown hair.
"Of course, why wouldn't I?"
He didn't seem to have an answer for that, going back to the stoic expression she got used to seing on his face.
"Isn't that... NEWT level charm?" Another student asked, and she was ashamed to realize that she didn't remember his name. "And they don't even take the practical part of the spell, just the theory..." He was a Hufflepuff with round cheeks, still outgrowing his baby fat. He reminded her so much of Neville, she couldn't help but spare him a kind smile. "I-I mean, that's what I heard. My sister graduated two years ago, she told me that it is an extremely difficult spell that not everyone can manage to cast."
"It is, but there's nothing stoping you from learning the theory now. It goes hand in hand with what I'll be teaching you about the intention behind spells. If by the time you reach NEWT level you manage to cast it properly, then all the better isn't it? If anyone here wants to become an auror, it will be useful to have it on your repertoire. It is a very difficult spell, but not impossible. I learned when I was about your age, and I'm sure that with proper instruction you can manage, too."
They all seemed impressed by the affirmation, but she didn't let the murmurs gain volume, instantly hushing them with the loud sound of a board eraser hitting wood surface. "Will you all settle down? If you wish to learn anything useful today, then pay attention to what I'll say now."
They quieted down, and stared intently at her. Thank goodness "I want you all to close your eyes."
They did, now she tried her best to sound soothing, instead of scary comanding "Try to think of your happiest memory. Then remember the feeling. To call forward the memory is one thing, but the emotions... you'll find that that's the hardest part. You need to remember exactly what you felt in that moment, that's the focus of the spell. And it can't be tainted by any other negative feelings. Doubt, envy, vindication... Those can taint your memories, so try to analize what feeds your treasured memories."
"If you need help with examples of positive feelings... Try to think of relief. Remember the moment all your worries melted away, giving way to pure happiness. Because someone you love loves you back... Because the father you thought wouldn't be able to make it to your birthday shows up just before midnight..." All of that had once been inspirations for her patronus.
She went quiet, leaving them to their thoughts. She waited patiently, seeing that some of them had happy smiles on their faces as they succeeded, then opened their eyes to look at her with satisfaction. She nodded at those with a smile, placing her index finger in front of her lips to ask for silence.
She gave the others a few more moments to work through the exercise. When Andromeda opened her eyes, she searched for Ted and traded a secret smile with him.
Hermione quickly looked away before they realized that she spotted them.
"For those of you who didn't manage it yet, don't feel frustrated. I assure you that it is perfectly normal. Sometimes the memory is so old that remembering exactly what you felt is complicated. Maybe your happy memories are not untainted by other emotions. Either way, there's always a solution. You can keep trying to bring fowards the feeling, or you can always create new memories with the people you love. Doing the things you love the most works just as well. As long as it brings you happiness." She smiled reassuringly at those who had only opened their eyes because of her interruption, looking put off. Some were reassured, others seemed skeptical of what she was saying. "For those who didn't manage to recall the feeling of happiness, this is your exercise if you want to learn the Patronus. Try to remember the feeling of happiness, or simply go after it. Just don't go getting into trouble then say that I encouraged it, alright? Be sensible."
Some laughed, some just smiled, others rolled their eyes. Either way, Hermione felt better about clearing out the heavy atmosphere building around those who didn't succeed.
"Can you really cast the patronus?" One of the Slytherin students asked with barely disguised disdain, she doesn't remember his name either, too many people to remember on just the second day...
"How can we be sure that you aren't just spewing bullshit about memories? I know what happiness is! I've felt it, why must it depend on a memory, and not how I feel in the present?" Trevor Nott, touchy isn't he?
"First: Less five points to Slytherin. Watch your language, Mr. Nott. And, second: If you remember how happiness feels, then you know which memory it belonged to, don't you? How would you know happiness, without knowing its origin? You can try to cast the patronus with the feeling you think is happiness. You'll go backwards about it, but that has no consequence, since the feeling is the important part for the spell. If it doesn't work, then another emotion must be tainting it." He was staring at her as if she was dirt beneath his feet. Before her temper could start to rise, she focused on finishing the lecture "I must also warn you that simple satisfaction or contentment aren't as strong as true happiness to make the spell happen."
"Professor, could you please show us your patronus?" The hufflepuffs were much more polite about their curiosity.
Well, demonstration is part of the lesson. "I was going to wait until I finished explaining... But very well." For the first time since entering the classroom, she pulled out her wand from her holster.
With her eyes closed, she didn't have to think too much. A crowded stadium, people celebrating, Ron, Harry, and Ginny... "Expecto Patronum!" She didn't open her eyes, still smiling at that precious memory.
The sound of twinkling magic and the warm light emanating were soothing. She reveled in it until one unmistakable roar made her snap her eyes open.
The back of a lion's head greeted her.
His mane moved around as he roared, and the pure shock of seeing Mufasa coming out of her wand was enough to make her drop the spell. Since when my patronus is a lion?! "Ahem" She cleared her throat, both embarassed for droping the spell, and uterly confused by the revelation. This must be a mistake. "Sorry, my patronus is not supposed to be... This... I'll finish the spell now."
"Expecto Patronum!" This time she kept her eyes wide open to watch, mesmerized, as the whole room brightened by the sheer power of her spell. She didn't drop her wand until it fully took form. He was majestic, and imposing... and... She felt tears coming to her eyes as she looked at a reflection of her soul. I can't cry in front of my students!
She cleared her throat again and blinked quickly, clearing her eyes playing it off as if it was because of the brightnes of the spell. Thankfully her students were too distracted by her patronus to pay close attention to her. "This is a corporeal patronus. It fends off dementors, and lethifolds..." Her patronus did laps around the room, and she could see that her student's were as mesmerized as she felt about her big protector... "Feel free to touch him. He was made by my most treasured memory of complete happiness."
Some people touched, and imediately understood what she was about to teach. Others purposefully avoided it, and for their sake, she explained "You can feel the emotion that fuelled it."
Once her patronus paused beside Andie, the girl thread her fingers through his translucid mane, then imediately brought her free hand to cover the gasp that left her mouth.
"Our patronuses irradiates the emotions that Dementors try to suck out of us, It scares them away with its intensity."
She called her protector close, once it reached her, Hermione leaned her forehead against his, then backed away to stare through those transparent, glowing blue eyes, uncaring if she was seeing the floor underneath, and the students behind. She felt as though that lion was staring right back at her, reflecting her will. She let the charm fade away, to face a class full of awed, incredibly excited students. She purposefuly ignored those who looked disgusted.
"It reflects our soul. And it doesn't have a permanent form. Mine used to be an otter" She said with a side smile, remembering fondly the curious mammal that still is her favorite animal.
Her emotional response to her patronus is due to the fact that she feels it, deep within her heart, that it came from her will to protect those she loved. To go against every reasonable thought telling her that she should just let events play out, that everything worked out once, so it would again... For the chance to create a better future for everyone. It was reckless, nothing like her usual 'we must be careful' atitude. She changed... And her patronus changed with her.
A lion.
The bell signaling the end of her class quickstarted her usual 'end-of-class' speech. "Next class we will start talking about the importance of intent, and how it plays a part on the nature of the spells. For homework I want you to revise what I taught you today, and answer these questions..." She levitated rolls of parchement towards her students, so that they could take it with them. "Feel free to talk to me if there's something you don't understand."
When they all set the parchments inside their bags she waited to see if everyone received one, then she dismissed them "That's all, guys. Let's have lunch! I'm starving."
The class was incredibly productive. For the first time ever, Andie felt excited about sharing what she learned with her oldest sister. So much so, that she was practically skipping. Scratch that, she was skiping to the dinner hall for lunch. There's the unladylike behavior that her mother would definitely frown upon. She could almost hear her mother's voice in her ear saying 'stop this instant! You're not a child! Where's your posture? Back straight, head high. Don't smile! You look like a fool!'
To know that she was far, far away from all the judgement made her feel at least ten times happier.
Bella was nowhere to be seen, she either decided to eat in the common room, or she skipped lunch for some schoolwork. She already skipped breakfast. She's probably in the common room. Andromeda laid a small kiss on top of her youngest sister's head, who looked at her as if she had grown a second head, but not without smiling subtly to let Andie know that she appreciated the affection. "I'm going to have lunch with Bella, is that ok?"
Cissy nodded with a much larger smile. Her eyes unconsciously sought out her sweetheart Lucius Malfoy, who was completely unaware of the attention being given to him, talking excitedly with his upper-year friends, Crabbe and Goyle. "I'll be fine."
How she likes this arrogant git is a wonder... "I'm sure." She said humorously earning a mock glare from Narcisa, who was now thinking of a way to gain Malfoy's attention.
Andie left her to it, and did her own bit of magic to duplicate a plate, put some food in it, and very cautiously levitate out of the table into her waiting hands. Perfect! I'm getting better at this whole wordless magic!
This day was getting better and better.
"Andromeda!" Rabastan reached her on the way to the common room, she turned around and spared him a smile in acknowledgement.
She was in such a good mood that she didn't care to be indiferent towards him. "Hello, Rabastan." Then she realized that he had a very terrified expression on his face, and he was breathing a bit heavily due to his small dash to catch up to her. "Are you alright?"
He nodded, then smiled gratefully, looking over his shoulder. Andromeda followed his line of sight and saw a very vexed girl coming their way. She looked like a third-year who walked around Narcisa's circle of friends. The girl was far enough not to catch him whispering "Do you mind if I flirt with you for a bit?" But her pace was so fast it did not to give Andie much reaction time. "I don't mind if you're mean. You can even beat me!" He looked desperate enough to make Andromeda take pitty.
I'll do one better. "Hey, Rabs... Are you excited for quidditch try-outs?" Her voice was sugary sweet, she used her free hand to wrap around his bicep. His eyes followed her movement, in shock, when he looked up she winked.
The relief in his face was so obvious, it made Andromeda giggle. It served to completely convince the girl that she was definitely flirting. She huffed and stomped past them.
Once she was out of sight, Rabastan let out a great sigh and turned towards Andromeda with another grateful smile.
"Thanks. I owe you one."
"Don't mention it."
She started walking, not really interested in holding this small favor against him. He looked like he did want to do something to return the favor as he walked beside her, taking slow steps with his long legs to accompany her.
"Seriously, that girl wouldn't leave me alone..."
"Well, if you want to return the favor... Why don't you get your brother to stop being so crude around my sister?" The sidelong glance was an art the Black sisters perfected "I'd appreciate it."
At that, Rabastan looked a little bit guilty on behalf of his brother "I'll try. But you better have another favor aligned because I might not be able to convince him. He actually thinks he is funny."
"Why, oh, why Francine puts up with him? She is such a nice girl!"
The misterious smile on Rabastan's face made her imagine all kinds of things, none of which she actually believed. "Who knows... I wonder that myself. If he wasn't my brother, he wouldn't be my first choice of friend." Now, that was something she found funny. Everyone knows how much Rabastan idolizes his older brother.
She tried to hold back her amusement, but it escaped in a full belly laugh that rendered her unable to say the password to open the common room entrance.
"Calming Draught" Rabastan sounded like he was holding his laughter as well, and he kept smiling even as they entered the common room.
It was such an odd sight, the both of them. Andromeda laughing out loud - albeit more subdued -, Rabastan smiling as if he had heard the most amusing thing in the world. It served to imediatelly call all the attention of the room towards the entrance.
"See you, Andromeda. "
"See you, Rabs."
His smile widened, and she didn't mind returning it once more. He is not so bad.
Bellatrix scrutinizing stare was leveled at her as she sat beside her sister on the couch, leaving her bag with homework between them and focusing instead on the delicious food she brought with her. Rabastan distracted her enough to ignore the delicious scent on the way, but now it was impossible to. She grabed her fork and started eating with the same grace of a homeless elf.
If Narcisa was there, she would certainly judge her for it.
"What?" She asked, once she watched her manners enough to swallow her food. Bella was still staring at her with the same frown on her face. "What?!"
"Rabs?! Since when you are buddy-buddy with the Lestrange?"
"Since today. He isn't so bad." From the corner of her eyes, she saw the third-year girl huffing and stomping away as if Andromeda had said something personaly afronting.
"Not so bad. Sure, pulling your teeth isn't so bad, it only stings a bit. Come on, Andie. Rodolphus-"
"Is his own person, and therefore shouldn't be taken into account when we're talking about his younger brother." That kind of thing got on her nerve, because it was an issue she had to deal with herself. It was hard to convince people that she wasn't Bellatrix, despite looking like her, and walking with her most of the time. "Rabastan is actually a very sweet guy." She had no way of really knowing that, but she had to drive her point home "You can't judge him based on his brother's actions."
Bellatrix rolled her eyes, annoyed still, but relenting. "How was class with Professor Muddy?"
Andie, who had just swallowed another bite of her delicious sausages. Bless Hogwarts cuisine. Smiled brightly at the reminder of that perfect class "Amazing! She really is an incredible professor, Bella."
She groaned and threw her head back "Not you too, Andie?" When she looked up her eyes were a bit more wide as she stared at Andromeda with the expression of a person who is trying to convince someone of a wild theory.
She heard it aaaaall about this. 'Professor muddy' was hired by Dumbledore to spread lies about the dangers of dark magic, and convince people that they shouldn't learn about it. She was an incompetent witch who only knew basic spells, threw them around wildly to distract people from the fact that she doesn't know much, then get them to like her, and ignore her utter uselessness. Except "She didn't pull her wand out once during today's lecture. That kills your theory that she doesn't know wandless magic, because the chalk flew around on comand."
It felt quite good to throw this on her sister's face, after the little stunt she pulled to get Andromeda to avoid suspicion by confirming her idiotic theory.
Bellatrix was cut short before she could even begin, she stared at Andie with her mouth open, which she worked to formulate words. "She..." Clearing her throat to sound more confident, Bella tried speaking again "She did wandless magic?"
Andie smiled "and wordless."
Lost in her mind, with a expression of deep concentration, the older witch sat silent for a few minutes. Which Andromeda didn't mind, because it gave her time to savor the deliciousness that was her lunch. One, two, three, four bites of food went into her mouth. She was doing a quick work of emptying her plate. It was doing wonders to lift her spirit higher than it already was. Or perhaps it tasted this good because of how good she felt?
That's a good thing to ponder on...
"Just the chalk?" She spoke, after several minutes of silence.
Andie paused right on the process of bringing the fork to her mouth, to ask "What?"
"She enchanted just the chalk?"
Andie went over her memories... and realized that "Yes, just the chalk. But so what? Yesterday you were so sure that a mudblood wouldn't be capable of wandless magic."
She crossed her arms "I bet I can do it too if I try." Her petulant expression made her look like the youngest out of the two.
Ignoring her in favor of finishing her food, she watched with some amusement as her sister scrunched up her face in concentration, staring intently at the pen resting in the inkwell on the table.
Sure enough, the pen flew to her waiting hands, and she let out a victory cry "Ha!" Then smiled at Andie as if she just proved an amazing point "See, I told you I could do it."
"That's accio. And it still does nothing to change the fact that our professor knows wandless magic too."
Bella rolled her eyes "So she enchanted a piece of chalk wandlessly-"
"And wordlessly. And she accioed too, you know. So that's two wandless spells she did. Effortleslly." Andie was loving to add to her sisters chagrin. She was laughing internaly at Bellatrix' frustration. Just accept it sister, muggleborns are as skilled as us.
"So what? She still is a ministry spy, trying to brainwash us to accept the ban on dark arts. So she is competent. One in a million. Now she happens to be the one trying to sabotage our way of life. It stands to prove that we cannot give any opening to their kind."
"Bella, I already told you. That's probably Cygnus' exageration. He is always annoyed with muggleborns, and muggle things as if they were the scourge of the world-"
"-And they are."
Andie pretended she didn't hear that, continued as if she hadn't been interrupted "-but he is most likely just exagerating things to get you to agree with him. He can't really force you to marry, Bella. It's not against tradition to stay single. He can't just burn you from the tapestry for refusing to continue the bloodline. Seriously, you should be more worried about father's manipu-"
"Don't you start, Andie! I already told you that Father doesn't want to force me to anything."
Of course he doesn't She rolled her eyes, and bit her tongue. There's no convincing her sister. She adores Cygnus, he raised her to meet his every expectations, always feeding her ego and pride, then getting her to agree to the most ridiculous of his notions.
"Alright, then why don't you take a look at today's lesson?" She put down her almost finished plate on top of the table to fetch her parchment with notes "She didn't even hint at dark magic. In fact, she reinforced our bases, and introduced the first steping stone to Patronus."
At hearing about the NEWT level charm she was probably just begining to learn at charms, her eyes widened in surprise.
"Let me see that" Bella forcefully took her parchment with the notes she made during class, both from the board, and from what Professor Grey explained. As those eyes traced her cursive letters, Andie paid close attention to how she would react.
If this wasn't enough to prove that this professor was the real deal Andie didn't know what else would convince her sister that 'mudbloods' were just as capable as 'Pure-bloods'.
Bella's first reaction was to frown, but from the middle to the end, she smiled maliciously in a way that Andie just knew she was about to say something offensive. "Hah, who doesn't know this basic shit?"
Basic shit?! "Well, I didn't!" She took her parchment back, much in the same agressive fashion her sister had done before. "Not everyone is a fucking prodigy, who learns and understands everything by themselves since they learned how to read." She felt tears starting to sting her eyes.
"...wh-what do you mean, Andie? Of course you already knew that magic is not the same thing as magical core. Dad drills us on that ever since we have our first bout of accidental magic!"
- Why can't you be more like your sister?!
- Bella didn't have this much trouble to learn such a simple thing!
- What a disgrace! Stop being so lazy! I don't want to see anything but O's in your next exams, you hear me?
Her father's frustrated, angry, and downright hurtful remarks came to mind as Bella dismissed everything she learned in class today as something 'simple'. Once more, managing to make her feel like the useless waste of Black genetics her parents always implied she was.
Bella was the prodigy, the powerful daughter Cygnus only wished that was a son. Narcisa was the perfect, proper model of composure in her mother's eyes, Andie... Well, she was litteraly in the middle. Just an almost copy of her older sister in looks, with none of her skills. Also unable to keep the poise her younger sister so naturaly seemed to be born with.
She failed to meet both of her parent's expectations, so if Druella was being particularly cruel, Cygnus would say she deserved and carry on. If Cygnus decided to drill her until she got too exausted to function, Druella would use it as an 'incentive' to get her to act like a 'Proper Noble Lady'. Funny how Cygnus didn't care if Narcisa didn't learn as easily as Bella, nor Druella care if Bellatrix was even less gracious than Andie.
The parents had their favorites, Andie was the spare. She tried to get by, doing her best to just be supportive of Bella when she put too much pressure on herself trying to live up to their father's impossible expectations. She gave Cissy a safe space to let loose, being her confident, her best-friend... It's not like her sisters did anything themselves to make her feel unwanted. They loved her, she knew it, and it usually was enough to keep her going.
But times like these... She felt like she was being judged by everyone. Bella expected both she and Narcisa to be as incredibly smart and skilled as she was, and Cissy expected them to conform with their traditions, to be perfectly happy with the status quo. And it was tiresome! She felt like running away from it all.
"If I say that I didn't know, then I didn't fucking know! Now thank you for reminding me of how much of a failure I am!"
"I didn't say that!" Bella bit back just as angrily, as if she was the one being offended. As if she had the right to lash out.
"You fucking implied!
"Why are you so touchy about this?!" Her high pitched tone of voice let Andie know that (at least) she was panicking about the fact that she hurt her, despite still saying dismissive things. "I'm just saying-"
"That our mudblood Professor is an incompetent fool teaching us useless things. Right?" She didn't care that everyone in the common room was watching them. Come one, come all, watch the fallout between the great Black sisters! "Well, this was useful to me. Not only useful, enlightening. I never had someone teach me things as easily, and clearly as she does. And if she is an incompetent fool teaching useless things, what does that make me, huh?!"
That silenced her, and Andie decided to take the oportunity to leave. She wasn't in the mood to hear her drown out the same offenses their father did about mudblood scum. For someone so aware of the brainwashing influence of the muggleborn professor, she didn't seem to realize that she was becoming exactly who Cygnus wants her to be. She entered his mold, and right now it was really difficult telling her sister apart from her hateful, narrowminded father. The only thing that lacked for Bella to be the perfect, mirror image of him, was for her to be a man... and spit a few venomous words in her direction.
At least Bella didn't think she was a failure.
As she left the common room, her mind re played for her all the times she had been compared to her sisters with disdainful, unforgiving eyes staring her down. Right now, she needed someone to reassure her the favoritism wasn't in her head, as it always went down when she took her complaints to her sisters.
They really didn't see the difference in treatment, and once she tried to alert them to it, subtly asking for them to hang around when she was supposed to have particular lessons with Cygnus or Druella, she only suffered worse after daddy and mommy dearest pretended to be as lenient with her as they were with her sisters... She learned that it was best to keep quiet. They didn't see the way she was treated and they wouldn't believe her if she told them. She tried. Hints here and there. It's always:
- It's in your head. Of course they love you. We love you.
She wondered if Ted would want an insecure mess like her as his girlfriend. She tried to be the person she was supposed to be around him. Composed and graceful, like Narcisa, confident and assertive, like Bella... If he found out that the 'perfect' and 'confident' girl he liked so much is just a shallow imitation... The shadow of two trully incredible girls she tried to be like, but never would manage... Would he still find her worthy of enduring such pain just to have a moment with her?
No. She wouldn't be enough. She was never enough...
Does anyone trully sees me?
She wasn't paying attention to where her feet was taking her, so when she found herself standing in front of the D.A.D.A.'s Professor office, she was sure that someone must have imperiused her... because there's no reason to be there. Her subconscious must have led her to the place where she'd find the instigator of this whole debacle. But it wasn't something she should bother Professor Grey with. What the hell am I doing?
Feeling disoriented, and on the verge of an emotional breakdown, she took a few seconds to turn around so she could take her leave... "Andi- I mean, Ms. Black. Is there anything I can do for you?"
Of course she would be in there. And of course she would decide to leave right now... Andromeda knew that there was no dignified way out of this. She could say 'no' over her shoulder and walk away as if she hadn't been standing in front of her door for the last thirty seconds... Or she could turn around and give an idiotic excuse of needing some help with schoolwork.
Second option seemed better.
With a bright, fake smile, she turned around. "There is, actually... I want to start learning the patronus." It was supposed to be a lie... But the more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. I'll show her basic. "You said that you learned when you were around my age, right?"
Grey's smile was positively encouraging. "I did. I'm glad you're up for the challenge, Ms. Black. Come on in! Did you have lunch already?"
She kind of lost her appetite before she could finish, but..."Yes, I did"
"Great! Then we can get to work!"
There's no chance she'll be rooting for Slytherin in the quiddich cup, it seems.
Stepping foot into Professor Grey's office was like she entered a lion's den. Not in the metaphorical sense of the word, but that place screamed house pride as if Professor Grey had been a Gryffindor herself... It rivaled Professor McGonnagal's enthusiasm. It's not like Andromeda had ever been to their common room, but if she were to imagine, it would be definitely something like this.
The deep maroon on the walls, coupled by mahogany wood mobilia, brought a stak contrast to the paint finishing of two golden-yellow stripes - the size of her open palm, with a bit of space between them - on the right side of each wall.
Andromeda was enraptured by that grand bookcase - covering almost all of the maroon behind it - to the right of the teacher's desk, because It was filled to the brim. It seemed to have all kinds of books in there, one would think that she was trying to move a library in. Bella would've loved this.
Eventually, her eyes followed the woman who - instead of going around her desk to sit on her brown tall chair - went to the oposite side of the room, motioning Andie towards a comfortable looking seat in front of a- "Is that fireplace real?" No wonder this place is so warm!
It's above a wooden surface that matched the other decor, behind a glass, and inside the wall, covering a good portion of it. It was almost as long as the bookcase. She never saw anything like it.
With two taps of her professor's wand, the wall disapeared showing an empty espace around the fireplace. The real wall behind looked very much like the usual castle grey stones, which looked out of place in this modern setting. The fireplace looked much less impressive too, without the red walls complimenting it. "The muggles have something called 'eletric fireplace', this is just a magical version of it. I like how it looks 'inside' the wall." Then, with another small circling movement of her wand, the illusion of a wall surrounding the fireplace matched the rest of the room. It does have a nice visual effect.
Two wingback armchairs laid facing that 'eletric fireplace' diagonaly, with a small round table between them, as if it was a place for two friend to catch up over a cup of tea. How she wished to feel if those mahogany-red chairs were as fluffy as they looked.
As if noticing her longing, Ms. Grey chuckled and motioned her fowards once more "Go right ahead. Make yourself comfortable. I'll go get a drink. Do you want something? Ice-cold Water? Tea?"
"Butterbear!" She said jokingly, not at all expecting her professor to smile back at her and do two finger guns in her direction.
"Got it."
No way... And indeed, the professor had an enchanted ice-box close to the entrance, which Andie had completely overlooked in favor of gaping at the rest of the room. After pulling two bottles from it, Ms. Grey made her way back, extending one towards Andromeda - who took it gratefuly - then sitting herself on the chair next to her. "To your success!"
The woman raised her drink and took a sip.
Unbelieavable Andie laughed "Here here!" she said before gulping down her own sweet drink.
There was no way for her to guess that coming here would make her feel better. The unconscious decision that brought her to this place was the last thing she would have actively thought of doing herself, but there she was. Drinking butterbear with her professor, staring at an incredibly large fireplace, enjoying the warmth seeping into her skin while the drink did the oposite to her chest. A nice contrast. A nice feeling. "Do you really think I'll be able to conjure it?"
"Of course! I am one hundred percent sure that you're capable of conjuring the patronus, Ms. Black. Just apply yourself to it. You'll see, if you begin training now you'll learn before Fillius finishes teaching theory for his NEWT class" The utmost conviction and excitement in Ms. Grey's eyes was precisely what she needed to see to remind herself that she is plenty capable of things as well. "When I tell Fillius about this, he will be beside himself." The woman smiled, holding the bottle against her lips.
Andie would love to see the look on Bella's face when she manages to produce the patronus before her, and because a muggleborn taught her. "How do I begin?"
I'll show her fucking basic.