Chapter 14
"Now Would Be a Great Time to Be Anyone But Me"
Inuyasha had spent the majority of his life preparing for a lot of different things.
He never slept in the open, because that's how you get killed by demons. He never messed with humans, because that's how you get fucking killed by a mob. He never messed with his brother, because that bastard was just a fucking prick, who was also out to kill him for just fucking existing.
However, with Kagome it was always—safe. Even with the stupid 'sits' she gave out, there was usually a warning—one he generally ignored—but there was always a warning before she said them.
This though, there had been absolutely no warning whatsoever.
He'd returned from fetching Sango, and everyone else by default, only to find her slumped over and passed out on the cushion on the floor.
He was tempted to let her sleep, but it really was going to rain, and if she really wanted to go piss off in the woods, she was going to have to go now.
Grabbing her shoulder, he gently shook her.
"Kagome," he spoke quietly, but loudly enough that it should rouse her without startling her. Last thing he wanted was a shouting match.
The girl continued to lay still.
"Kagome," he repeated, shaking her shoulder a little more firmly.
She let out a low mumbling groan before blinking her eyes open. He watched her flex her fingers, clenching her fists open and closed, before she slowly pushed herself up.
"Sango's coming if you still want to go do your, you know," he said with a nod towards the door. Kirara landed outside, and Sango leaned inside the doorway a moment later.
"Ready?" She asked, and Kagome turned towards her, squinting. She started pushing herself up to her feet, and he growled, moving in to stop her, scooping her up easily.
"Put me down!" She ordered, pushing against him. "No! You're not carrying me!"
"Hey!" He shouted, leaning back as she tried to push his face away.
"Put me down!" She shouted. "Put me down this instant!"
"You're not walking on that foot, so stop fighting me!"
"No!"
"What the fuck is your problem?" He snapped as he maneuvered the thrashing girl around the doorway and towards Kirara.
"You!"
"You and me both, bitch," he growled, practically tossing her on the back of the firecat as she turned, glaring at him, and he eagerly returned the look. Sango glanced between the two of them with an arched brow.
"We'll be back before the rain," Sango assured him, and he turned so his back was to her.
He looked back at the stairs, leading up to the shrine.
Seriously, what the fuck was her problem?
Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he watched as Kaede and Miroku made their way back towards the hut.
Everything about this mess was making his skin crawl and his hackles raise. He didn't like it. Something was off, and he wanted to know what it was sooner rather than later.
He waited, growling lowly, as neither girl appeared on the edge of the woods like he'd expected.
"How fucking long does it take to piss?" He grumbled, starting off towards the woods.
Something wasn't right; something goaded his gut to pervasively tell him to keep watch.
Something wasn't right, and the longer that she was out of his sight, the more likely it was that something would happen. He felt on edge. Every piece of him was itching to fight something. He just didn't know what it was he should be fighting.
Yet another thing that pissed him off to no end.
"Hey!" He shouted into the woods. "You done yet?"
"We're coming, Inuyasha!" Sango shouted back at him. There was some mumbling, but the words were lost even as he strained to hear them.
"It is demeaning!" Kagome shouted.
"You've never had an issue with it before!" Sango retorted.
"Well, I do now!"
"Oh, for fuck's sake," he growled, leaping into the trees, landing in their midst only a moment later. "What the fuck are you two bitching about now?"
"Nothing that concerns you," Kagome snapped.
"Great, so let's go back to the fucking hut."
"I'll walk," Kagome said, pushing away from the tree and taking a limping step.
"What the fuck?" Inuyasha snarled. "You shouldn't be on that foot."
"It's my foot. I can do what I want!"
"Fine, you want to act like your five, fine!" He quickly ducked a shoulder under her hips, snapping an arm to the back of her knees as he lifted her over her shoulder. "Come on, Sango!"
"Put me down, dog!" His step faltered, just one and just for a moment, but he continued onto Kaede's hut.
She'd never called him that before, at least not in that tone. She'd never insulted him for what he was.
Kagome continued to rant, calling him name after name, thumping him on his back as she tried to wriggle her way free, but his grip was iron clad.
"Kagome!" Sango admonished.
"Let it go, Sango. Let her bitch and get it out of her system. Ain't like she can hurt me."
That was a lie though. Kagome had the power to hurt him more than anything else.
But Kagome's voice had lowered to where Sango couldn't hear it, but he could.
He could hear her whispering that this would be the last time he touched her body, and she could already smell the stench of dog on her clothes. And then she yawned once before her voice faded away and she hung limply against his shoulder.
There was something amiss alright. And it started and ended with Kagome.
Miroku and Kaede walked in as he was lowering her down on top of the mass of blankets that she'd been laying on earlier. She was flush and warm to the touch.
"That was weird, right?" Sango asked, kneeling beside her.
"Yeah," he agreed, covering her up with the blanket. He took his haori from her as she was already flushed enough as it was.
"What is strange?" Kaede asked as she stepped inside just ahead of Miroku and the rain. Shippo skirted in just as it started to really let loose.
"Kagome. She was in a terrible mood and just—not right," Sango answered.
"Oh? What happened?"
"I went to go get Sango. When I came back, she'd passed out. When she woke up, she was eight kinds of pissed at everything."
"Kaede, it was really weird. She passed out on the way back here, but she wasn't acting like herself."
"We can only hope it has no unnatural causes, but we will need to be vigilant in our care of her."
Miroku slumped down on a cushion in front of the fire.
"We did make some progress in our research," he noted.
"You figure it out?"
"Not entirely, but—" He glanced at Kaede as if seeking permission before continuing.
"But what, monk?"
"Well, what we did find, doesn't bode well."
Inuyasha's hackles went up again, and the hand on her leg gripped it tighter.
"What does that mean?"
Miroku sighed.
"It means that we don't have enough information to narrow down what is causing all this."
"Aye and what we do know is broad and easily applied to many different types of specters and spirits."
"So what's the worst of it?"
"Inuyasha, I don't think ye—"
"You think I ain't heard bad news before? Quit bouncing around the damn thing and just tell me!"
"Inuyasha, this is not—"
"Out with it, hag!"
"Amanojaku," Miroku blurted out, as if ripping the bandage off.
"Amano—" Sango started, eyes wide and afraid. "You don't really think that's what it is?"
"It is one of many possibilities," Kaede explained, glaring over her shoulder at Miroku, who merely shrugged it off.
"What the fuck is an Aman-jackoff?"
"Amanojaku," Kaede corrected.
"Whatever, so what is it?"
"Depends on who you ask. Some claim that they're minor gods or servants of the evil gods, who feed on the impure and encourage the corruption of the human spirit," Miroku explained.
"Well, that's pointless, Kagome can't be corrupted. How many times has Naraku tried something like that and failed?" He eyed the sleeping girl on the floor.
"It could also be an itsuki," Kaede added. "A spirit of the people who hang themselves. It encourages others to hang themselves as well."
"That would make sense," Sango said. "It seems to be trying to break her down. Appearing as her friend, the nightmares," Sango added. "Maybe it's trying to break down her will until she gives in."
"Yeah, but wouldn't I have sensed something? Demonic spirits give off some sort of youki."
"That is the one thing that we cannot explain. All these spirits should have some sort of energy signature. They should be repelled by the ofuda, which it appears they have been," Kaede let out a long breath. "It is a puzzle this old woman is not familiar with, and I fear that our scrolls may find themselves lacking in the information we seek."
"So all that time today, and you've basically got jack shit."
"In crude terms, yes," Kaede agreed.
He growled. None of those sounded even remotely close to being good things. And they still weren't completely sure that it was either of those anyway.
"Before ye rampage around the countryside, Inuyasha, know we have only been looking for less than a day," Kaede pointed out with a stern look at him, calling him out on his irritation with them without saying the words expressly. That only made him even more pissed off. "The answers may be there, just well hidden. Perhaps when Kagome wakes, we can get more information that would help narrow down just what it is that we are looking for."
"Don't expect anything useful," Inuyasha grumbled, glancing down at the girl on the floor. Her face was flushed, and he frowned. "Hey, check her arm," Inuyasha told her, reaching over to pull it out from the blanket.
Kaede shifted closer, pressing her hand against Kagome's forehead.
"She does feel warm." Kaede held up the bandaged arm, slowly unwrapping the thin strip of fabric. Inuyasha watched with rapt attention as the bandage fell away revealing the pale skin beneath. "Hmm," Kaede mused. "It actually looks much better today. The redness is mostly gone."
She placed her hand gently over the scratch.
"It's not even warm to the touch. No warmer than her own skin at least."
"None of this makes any sense," Sango said as she stood to gather Kaede's old basket she carried her medical supplies in.
"No, it doesn't," Miroku agreed. "This is becoming more and more complicated with fewer answers to be found."
Sango set down Kaede's basket beside her, allowing her to bandage the injured arm.
"So what is causing her fever?" Sango asked, hands now working, carding themselves through Kirara's fur.
"I cannot say at this point. There are too many different factors. We will have to wait until she wakes to see."
She let out a small cough, curling up into the blanket more, drawing her arm back into the folds of the fabric.
He didn't like it. Something about all this was fucking wrong, and he didn't like not being able to see or smell who was attacking him and his. And the fact that none of them had any real answers for it didn't help matters either. Instead, it only made that anxious feeling worse.
Kagome slept all day. All day, didn't even wake up for dinner. Kaede said to let her sleep. Obviously she needed it, but he didn't like it.
And he didn't have to like it.
Granted, he didn't like a lot of things. In fact, the list of things he actually liked was the easier one to make. It pretty much revolved around ramen and Kagome and any variations thereof.
Not that he'd tell her that, ever.
Everyone else was settling down for bed, and he took another glance at the door, which had to be tied down to keep it from blowing away in the wind. The storm had picked up its intensity around dinnertime, with loud lightning and thunder to add to the mix.
"You'll keep an eye on her?" Sango asked, pressing a hand back to Kagome's forehead. She'd been feverish all afternoon, but it was minor. Nothing too serious to worry Kaede, and if she wasn't worried about it, then he wasn't going to fret like a mother hen either.
Not that he didn't worry, but there was a difference.
He also hadn't been more than two feet from her at any given time, not that that proved anything.
"I'll wake you if anything changes."
They'd banked the fire, and wrapped themselves up in their blankets to ward off the chill from the rain, and gone to sleep. He'd kicked Shippo over to Sango, despite his protesting.
Like he said before, Inuyasha spent a lot of his time preparing for various things, and this was no different. He settled in with his back against the wall, her head by his thigh as he ran his fingers through her hair. She'd had a little trouble with coughing earlier in the day, but that seemed to have passed. The water in her lungs didn't seem to have any lasting effects.
Except for the fact that she'd slept all fucking day.
She couldn't even be bothered with dinner.
Kaede had finally told him to let her be.
Not that she'd really had anything substantial in the past week, but who was he to worry about that? What did he know about making sure that she actually ate some fucking food? He'd only been taking care of her for over a year now.
He huffed, glaring at a sleeping Kaede.
He wanted to go run. He had so much nervous energy and no where to spend it.
He just wanted to go run it off, but the rain had different ideas.
He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. He'd take off in the morning once she was awake and everything was fine.
Thinking about their discussion earlier, it made some sense. Whatever was attacking her was trying to break her down piece by piece, and to be honest, that was probably the best way to go about it. She was already rattled by everything, and whatever it was had be to strong enough to not only mask its own scent but hers too. The question was how it managed to travel back here too.
Kaede had said that the Amano-jackoff was considered a minor god by some. Maybe that was enough to allow it to travel through the well?
The other thing was a spirit, so maybe ghosts could travel through the well too.
He let out a short growl, rubbing his face. There was no way to know anything, and the stupid bastard kept hiding from them. If it would only come out and face him, then at least he'd know what he was fighting and where he was fighting it. He didn't like all this hiding bullshit.
Kagome whimpered, and it had been the most noise she'd made in a while. Pushing some of her hair back, he watched her face as she made another noise, hands fisting in the blanket underneath her.
"Kagome?" He whispered, shifting to touch her face and lean over her.
Her face looked pained, and she whined, a high-pitched keening sound. He shook her gently.
"Hey, wake up," he spoke quietly, but she began thrashing in her sleep, legs and arms kicking out like she was fighting off an enemy. Her jaw tensed, clenching so tightly that he'd thought she'd snap a tooth. "Kago—"
A bright flash of light sent him crashing into the far wall, his skin blistered and burning.
"Inuyasha!" Sango shouted as he groaned from where he lay on the ground.
"Shippo, get away from her!" Miroku shouted, grabbing the kit and literally throwing him back towards where Inuyasha had landed and crumpled.
Fuck.
Kagome packed a punch.
She let out a shriek, the words unintelligible, or maybe they were words and his body just hurt too badly to understand them at this point. Pushing himself up onto his elbows, he watched the three of them try to pin her to the ground as she cried and screamed so loudly that he was sure his ears would start bleeding. He managed to get his body to his hands and knees, but his arms and muscles shook violently at the effort.
"Stay down, Inuyasha," Shippo said, avoiding touching the raw skin underneath his clothes.
"I'm fine," he mumbled. But he wasn't fine. He felt like he wanted to retch, and then collapse onto something made of ice to soothe the heated burns on his skin.
It had been a long time since anyone had tried and succeeded in purifying him. At least he wasn't human.
"You're not fine. You can't help either! She'll just burn you again!"
"It's Kagome. She won't hurt me," he mumbled as he tried to push himself to his feet. They needed help.
"Inuyasha! Stop!" Shippo pushed at his side, and it was enough to make him wobble.
Another flash of reiki made the air smell like the lightning strikes outside, clear and too crisp to be normal.
He caught the sight of Miroku and Kaede trying to exorcise the spirit out of her, only to be met with no change whatsoever.
"I don't get it! What's wrong? Why isn't this working?"
"Again!" Kaede ordered.
Kagome screeched loudly in the night, begging for something.
But there was no change, no matter how hard they tried to boot it out, it only made her reiki flare wildly.
Miroku let out a growl and then took out another ofuda, charging it with his own reiki before slamming it down in the middle of her chest.
"I said, get out!" He roared, and that did something. Kagome's entire body arched off the floor in a shriek that rebounded off the walls and made his ears ring, but Miroku cried out, a hand placed to his cheek as Inuyasha caught the scent of blood before the mat came loose from the floor, billowing about in the darkness.
"Miroku!" Sango pried his hand away, and Inuyasha caught sight of the thin claw marks running across his cheek, close enough to his eye to be dangerous.
"I'm fine, Sango," he said, pushing her hand away. "It's just a scratch."
"It nearly got your eye!"
Kaede leaned over Kagome, lightly patting her cheek.
"Kagome? Kagome, child, wake up," she called gently. "Sango, fetch a damp rag."
The smell of her blood wafted over to him, and he pushed himself up on stiff legs. She'd really done a number on him, hadn't she?
"Where's she hurt?" He asked, still panting. The burning feeling in his skin was starting to abate, but he could feel the stiffness settling in.
"Stay there, Inuyasha. It's just a bloody nose. Nothing uncommon. I do not want to see ye purified further with those burns."
Kagome let out a low groan, drawing attention towards her. Her eyes fluttered open, drifting around and blinking in confusion, before she screamed.
"Don't touch me!" Kagome scrambled backwards, putting clear distance between her and Kaede.
"Kagome?" Kaede asked. "What's the matter, child?"
"Don't touch me!" She yelled, shifting as Kaede reached for her. Her eyes were wide with fear, as she continued scuttling backwards across the floor. Inuyasha saw the moment that whatever had kept her rooted disappeared, and she bolted for the door, hands and feet scrabbling to find purchase as she moved. He'd staggered to his feet, intent to run after her.
Sango, however, was faster than he was for once, nearly tackling Kagome to keep her inside as a bright flash of light and the reverberating sound of thunder rolled overhead.
"No! No! Let me go!"
"Kagome!" Sango evaded a quick strike towards her face as Kagome tried to fight her off. "Why are—" Sango grunted as Kagome's fist punched her in the shoulder. "Is she still possessed?"
"Highly unlikely," Kaede started, but the sound of her voice just made Kagome fight Sango even harder. Inuyasha fought against gravity, pushing himself forward a step to help, even as the motion made his chest throb and his brain stutter.
"Let me go!"
Sango struggled to pin her wrists to the ground, and she was trying diligently to not hurt Kagome, but Kagome wasn't having it.
"The spirit is gone, but," Kaede drifted off, watching the two intently.
"But what?" Inuyasha growled.
Her fight lulled, and Inuyasha watched Sango relax for a moment before Kagome practically bucked her off with her hips, sending her sprawling to the side as she scrambled away again.
To his credit, Miroku didn't actually make a move.
Kagome crashed into Miroku, realized who it was, and launched herself directly into his chest, nearly knocking him over.
"Kagome?" He asked, and she wrapped her arms around him, dragging herself against him. His arms were out at his side as he gave everyone else a panicked look.
"Don't let her touch me. Don't let her," Kagome chanted, arms locked around his neck as she curled up between his legs.
"Kagome, it's only Kaede and Sango," he chided quietly.
"No, no, please. Don't let her touch me." She shook her head against his shoulder as she cried, muttering unintelligible syllables. Miroku looked at Inuyasha as if seeking some sort of clue about how to proceed.
But Inuyasha was at a loss on all fronts. He flicked his eyes to Kaede, who was trying to process the latest scene.
Kagome was terrified. Of Kaede. Which was absolute bullshit. Hag hadn't done anything to her. Or anyone. Ever.
"Shh," Miroku hushed, one hand smoothing her hair and the other he wrapped around her back, high enough that it was clearly evident that he couldn't cop a feel.
Inuyasha couldn't take it. He staggered over to where Miroku sat with Kagome, dropping painfully down to one knee beside him. He placed a blisteringly red hand on top of her head to drag her attention towards him.
"Kagome," he said her name as a command to look at him.
And she flinched at it.
Not the reaction that he'd wanted or hoped for from her.
"Kagome."
She turned slightly to look at him, eyes widening in horror and then realization. There was an obvious reaction the instant she made the connection between his burns and her reiki. His hand snapped out to stop her, but she ducked away, pushing off of Miroku, before taking a running limp out the door.
Damn.
Should've tied that thing back down.
"I'll get her," Sango said, running out after her.
The three of them sat on the floor, staring at the doorway in complete befuddlement.
"Anyone else completely lost?" Miroku asked.
"Aye," Kaede offered and Inuyasha sat back on his haunches, which seemed to jump start Kaede. "Let me see those burns."
"We both know that they'll be fine in the morning."
"Aye, but that doesn't mean we can't ease ye's suffering a bit. Reiki burns hurt, or so I've been told."
Sango ushered in a damp Kagome, who was still crying and clutching onto her. They both dropped onto her blankets, and Kagome wrapped her arms around Sango.
"She's upset," Sango explained.
Like that wasn't super fucking obvious or anything.
Kaede smeared a paste across a tender spot on his chest, and he hissed at the contact.
That seemed to only upset Kagome further.
Miroku shifted to sit on her other side, caging her in.
"Perhaps some rest would help—" Miroku suggested.
"No! No sleeping!" She yelled, loudly, and with enthusiasm. "That's how—that's when—" She blinked a few times, staring across the room for a moment.
"It will be fine. I will set up a barrier. No one else will get in," he offered.
"Here," Sango offered. "I'll lay down with you, okay?"
"It's not safe," Kagome countered, eyes darting around, and landing on the both himself and Kaede. "It's not safe."
"Kagome, what ever happened, the demonic spirit has been exorcised from you and fled. It's not here any longer."
"It'll come back. She always comes back," Kagome whispered. "The ofuda don't work." She turned her head slightly so that she could look at Miroku. "They never worked."
"I know, and that is my fault," Miroku said as Sango began to shift so that she could lay down in the blankets. "I was too confident in what little I knew, and obviously that knowledge has caused you some amount of harm. And for that, I beg your forgiveness."
Kagome's hands shook so hard that it looked like she was convulsing.
"Come on, Kagome, lay down. We can sleep a—" Sango encouraged, and Kagome leapt away from her.
"No!" She shouted, pointing her finger at Sango. "No sleep! Not until I'm sure!"
"Sure of what?" Miroku asked, shifting slightly, and Inuyasha could see him eying the door. He was making sure that he could stop her before she ran again.
Smart.
Because his partially purified ass wasn't moving anywhere quickly at the moment.
"I need to be sure this is real."
"What do you mean? Of course, it's real."
"No!" Kagome shouted again, eyes darting between all of them. Like they were threats. "You—You don't get it! They're always real, until they're not."
She was babbling.
What the fuck had happened while she was asleep? What did she see?
"That doesn't make any sense," Sango started moving towards her, but Miroku put an arm out to stop her.
"Okay, so how do we prove that this is real?" Miroku asked.
"I don't know!" Kagome clamped her eyes shut, shaking her head. "I don't know until I know!"
She let out a strangled sob, and they all watched as she visually collapsed in on herself.
"I don't know," she repeated, sitting on the floor as deep, raking cries left her. "Until it's too late."
No one moved towards her, too afraid of scaring off the skittish little priestess in training.
Inuyasha stood, slowly and carefully, edging towards her carefully, watching her for any signs that she might bolt and attempt to flee. He heard Miroku shifting towards the door as well.
"Kagome," he said, drawing her attention. She scooted back as he approached. Like he was some sort of predator, and in a way, he was and had always been, but she'd never been bothered by that before. "Kagome, stop." But she didn't until she hit the wall, and even then she looked like she wanted to run.
"Please," she whispered, as he knelt down in front of her, drawing her legs up to her chest. "Please, I can't."
"Kagome," he tried to speak quietly, reassuringly, "you know us." She started to move, and he slapped his arm against the wall, despite how that aggravated his burns, and he kept the wince internalized. "What you—what you dreamed—" he grimaced as the thought occurred to him, "did we hurt you?"
Her eyes watered, tears streaming over her cheeks.
"Yes." The word came out in a hissing whisper, her eyes darted over behind him, and he followed her gaze to see Kaede staring at the both of them.
"You know us. You know me. Would I ever hurt you?"
Kagome stared at him for a beat before shaking her head.
"No," she whispered.
He knew that he had to be careful in what he said next.
He placed one hand on her shoulder, exhaling when she didn't flinch at his touch.
She clamped her eyes closed and shook her head.
"But I hurt you," she whispered, curling onto herself even tighter. "I did that to you."
"Keh, this? This'll be gone by morning. Like any of you scrawny humans could ever kick my ass."
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be," he told her, and she reached her hand out to him before pulling away.
"This is real?" She asked, looking at him.
"Yes," he answered firmly, meeting her gaze as she stared him down.
"I'm awake?"
He nodded his answer, and he could see the hope rising in her face.
"You're sure?"
"Would I lie to you?"
She pushed his hand off her shoulder before moving slowly towards him, arms wrapping around his neck, and he sighed at the contact.
Ignoring the dull throbbing pain across the skin of his chest, he drew her close, pressing her against him. If he could offer her comfort, he would.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, clutching him tightly. "Please, don't leave me."
"And where the fuck would I go, woman?"
She hiccuped, breaking out in a quick sob, before sagging her entire weight against him. He grumbled at the pressure against his raw skin, but he didn't push her away.
She whimpered quietly, and he tightened his grip around her waist, drawing her impossibly close.
She trusted him. Out of every human in that hut, she trusted his word over all of theirs. The hanyou. The half-breed. He was worth more to her than any of the others.
And if that didn't make a guy's youkai practically preen just under the surface, he didn't know what would.
"Uh," Miroku started, clearing his throat obnoxiously loud in the small space.
Ah.
Fuck.
He'd forgotten that there were other people in the room.
He'd forgotten that there were assholes in the room with him to witness this.
Fucking hell.
He would not hear the end of this for a very long time.
He turned his head to glare at the monk, who obviously was not taking the hint at all.
Sango, however, was not dumb, reaching over to grab the monk's ear firmly between her fingers.
"If you say one perverted thing, I will castrate you."
"Ah, but if it meant that your hands would be touching—!" He doubled over as Sango's fist knocked the air out of him.
There was a short, brief laugh from Kagome, a puff of air against his neck, one of the few places not marred by already healing burns. Hot and humid, but the coolness of it gave him goosebumps still.
"This is real," she whispered turning her face towards his neck, which made his insides do weird flippy things. "I'm awake."
He hummed his agreement; eyes slanting towards the others, hoping they would take a hint.
But of course they didn't.
They were all awake and avidly staring at him.
His hands were in respectful places!
Not the places he wanted them to be, but they were proper!
"You should go back to sleep. I've got it from here," he told them.
"I'm sure you—ow!" Miroku commented only to be cut off by a slap to the back of his head by Sango.
"I swear," she muttered. "Do us all a favor and go be unconscious somewhere."
"My dearest Sango," he started.
"Don't 'dearest Sango' me," she warned him, walking towards Kagome, who had shifted to bury her face back into him. She knelt down, pressing a hand to her hair. Kagome turned away from him to look up at her. "If you need anything, just ask okay?"
Kagome nodded, and he felt her hands gripping the back of his haori at his shoulder blades. Sango waited a moment, her eyes moving to his, and he shifted one of his hands to cradle the back of Kagome's neck. A signal that he could handle her. Sango pulled away, standing, and then moved to her own bedding.
"Come here, Shippo," she called, and he scrambled towards her, curling up in the blankets. He'd been unusually quiet after, well, everything else. The kit gave the two of them a long look before snuggling in with Sango.
Kagome's face shifted to rest against his neck, remaining almost boneless against him and his raw skin.
He heard the others settling back into their blankets, but Kagome made no move to shift away from him.
The air was still tense, and he could feel their eyes on him.
"Do you want to lay down?" He asked, and she shook her head. He'd offer her his haori, but she'd almost burned through the front completely. But he knew that her current position was going to hurt her more later. "Do you want a blanket?"
She shook her head again, tightening her grip around his neck. She had to be cold. Her clothes were damp from her brief sprint out in the rain.
Footsteps shuffled towards him, and he turned as much as he could towards them. Kaede held Kagome's blanket out to him, keeping some distance between them, obviously mindful of Kagome's skittishness towards her. He reached out, taking the blanket from her, and she gave Kagome a sad look before turning back towards her own bedding.
He leaned forward slightly, grabbing the backs of her knees to drag her up onto his lap, and he shifted them both back against the wall. His chest ached and throbbed under her weight, but he wasn't going to make her move. Not after that.
Even if she completely purified him, he wasn't going to make her move or leave. She shifted slightly, and he dragged the blanket over her, tucking it in to make sure that she wouldn't catch a cold. Kagome's arms hadn't relinquished him, and her face remained solidly against his neck. Her thighs straddled his; her knees were at his hips.
It was intimate and not. It wasn't any worse than when her mother had caught them. The sting of his blistered skin and thoughts of her mother kept him from thinking of much else regarding their current position at the moment, probably a good thing.
But she wasn't asleep.
She was very much awake, and he could feel that she was just on this side of a panic attack. Her breathing was too quick, and her arms trembled around his neck.
He took a deep breath, silencing the grunt at the rawness of his skin. His chest and arms tingled as he repaired himself.
Damn. That was surprisingly uncomfortable.
He stared at the remnants of the fire as it reflected in her hair, before exhaling slowly through his nose. He let the claws of one hand stroke through her hair, offering what little comfort it was to her.
It was going to be a long rest of the night.
Kagome was exhausted.
Her—struggle had taken every bit of energy to get out of, and she both desperately wanted to sleep and never sleep again.
His fingers flexed against her back slightly.
"You've been sitting like that for a while. You tired yet?" He asked her quietly. "You can put your arms down. I ain't going anywhere."
Her arms were tired, and she could already feel them starting to cramp up in her current position. They'd been strained for a while now, and with every slight shift of her arms, the ache in her muscles grew more prevalent and more painful. But she didn't want to let him go; she didn't want to risk it.
"Here," Inuyasha said, tugging on one arm, and she fought him on it, trying to keep it where it was. She made a pathetic noise in the back of her throat, something close to a whine, as he pulled her arm free, tucking it against his side, and pinning it there with his arm. The relief that came from stretching it made her hiss, and she quickly fisted her grip into the back of his fire rat, clutching a handful of it.
He did the same with her other arm, and this time she didn't fight him on it. He wasn't pushing her away, just repositioning her.
He returned his own arms so that they were wrapped around her back underneath the blanket again. She could feel the heat of his hands through the thin fabric of Kaede's borrowed yukata. It was comforting in a time when she desperately sought out any form of it available.
She kept herself curled around Inuyasha, maintaining her death grip on his torso. He hadn't said anything or made her let go, so she didn't do either.
They sat there, the rest of the night, as she held onto him, fighting her own exhausted body every step of the way.
She jolted awake at the sound of something, her hands fisting in the back of Inuyasha's haori, and she pressed herself as close to him as she could manage, face completely buried into his neck as he took a deep breath. His chest rose and fell slowly, and his hands pressed against her back, subtly reminding her that he was there.
He wasn't going anywhere.
This was real.
He'd promised that this was real.
She knew him, like he'd said, and better than anyone else. He'd cut off his own arm rather than hurt her like that.
It had just lasted so long, and the longer it went, the harder it became for her to remember that it wasn't real, because it'd felt real enough. She shuddered, remembering the heat and the sharpness of Kaede's knives as they dug into her flesh and bones and muscles.
And when she'd cut through the nerves, it had felt like being electrocuted as the pain shot up her arm and down her spine all the way to her hip. It was how she knew that the nerves had been damaged and cut through completely, other than the audible snap they made. Or maybe that was the tendons.
She was just so tired.
"How is she?" Sango whispered, a hand lightly touching her hair, making Kagome jump. "Has she said anything?"
"She's awake," he answered, and Sango rested a hand on her upper back.
"Kagome, do you want anything to eat?"
She shook her head, unwilling to say anything. She didn't want to let go. She knew that the moment she let go, that was the moment that she risked everything not being real again. She couldn't do it. She couldn't go through that again. Her arms still burned and throbbed from where not-Kaede—not Kaede—took the knives to her skin and muscles.
She couldn't even tell that it wasn't real until it was too late.
And no matter how much she tried, she couldn't get away. She couldn't break free from the trap that Hina had set for her. It wasn't Hina though. It hadn't ever been her. It was something else entirely, and she had no clue what it was.
The only thing that she knew and was certain of was that it wanted her to suffer.
"How is she?" Miroku whispered, but there was no answer.
She shifted slightly, feeling the stiffness in her muscles but unwilling to let him go.
"And how are you?" Miroku asked.
"Keh, I'm fine. Been fine."
Right. She'd burned him and nearly purified him with her reiki. And then she'd climbed on top of him like she belonged there. She didn't know why he hadn't pushed her away. Had she even apologized for that yet?
"It would appear that the rain has stopped," Kaede said, and Kagome flinched at the sound of her voice. She knew—knew—that Kaede wouldn't ever hurt her, even unintentionally, but that couldn't counter the hours and hours of literal torture that she'd gone through.
The palm of his hand pressed against her back as she took a deep shuddering breath against his shoulder.
"I will go to the shrine to see if we can come to the bottom of this. I assume ye will—"
"We'll be here, old woman," he remarked.
"I'll join you, Lady Kaede," Miroku said, and Kagome could hear him rise and follow her out of the hut.
God, she was awful, wasn't she? She literally made Kaede so nervous that she had to leave her own home. Kaede had done so much for her, and here she was acting like she was the enemy. She loved Kaede! So why wouldn't her brain just calm down and recognize that?
Even Miroku had bailed on them.
She didn't even know if Sango was still in the room.
"Calm down, would ya?" Inuyasha grumbled, and she flinched. His hand gently rubbed along her back.
She took a deeper shuddering breath, and her chest burned from it.
"Sorry," she whispered, and he sighed, obviously annoyed. She could hear it in the way he breathed.
There was a long deafening pause, and she shifted slightly to find a more comfortable position.
"Do you—"
"Sorry!" She blurted. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!" Her fists gripped his clothing with all the strength she had left in her. "I just—I had to—I was trying so hard—and—and—I couldn't get out! And she—Kaede—"
"Kagome!" He shouted, effectively cutting off her rambling, and she hiccuped slightly. He was going to push her away. He was going to leave. She was a literal mess, and he was tired of it. Why wouldn't he be tired of it? She was tired of it! "Geez, woman," he grumbled. "Calm the fuck down, would you?"
She sniffled, and his hand slid up her back slightly.
"I ain't mad, and yeah, you burned the shit out of me, but it's already healed. It ain't permanent. I'm fine."
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, slumping against him, letting out a shuddering exhale.
"It's fine, Kagome," he groaned. "I already told you."
She let out a stifled sob in relief as she clung to him.
"Kagome," Sango's voice cut through the quiet, and Kagome flinched at it. "Tell us about your dream."
"I—" she started, but found herself trying to figure out where it started. "I don't even know when it started being a dream."
Inuyasha shifted underneath her slightly, and she clamped her body around his. Her knees squeezed his hips, and her fingers cramped with how tightly she was clinging to his haori.
"Relax, Kagome," he told her, and she made a whining sound in the back of her throat, as his hand lightly rubbed up and down her spine. She forced her grip on him to lessen enough that she wasn't trembling because of it.
"What happened?" Sango asked. She was sitting next to them, and Kirara trilled right beside her. Though, knowing Kirara, she was curled up in Sango's lap and asking for pets.
"I was coming back from the bathroom, and we were talking."
"I wouldn't call that talking," Inuyasha interjected with a scoff.
"And then what?" Sango pressed, drawing Kagome's attention back towards her and the discussion at hand.
"Inuyasha helped me down from Kirara, and then we came inside and—" Inuyasha's arms tightened around her as he sat upright.
"You weren't riding Kirara, Kagome," Sango told her. "Inuyasha carried you back."
Kagome leaned away from his shoulder slightly to look at her friend.
"No, I rode Kirara. Inuyasha took me inside," Kagome repeated, because she had been sure, so sure, that that part had been real.
"You went to go for a piss, but you were bitching about me touching you the entire way," Inuyasha grumbled.
Her stomach twisted, sending a deep despairing feeling up her esophagus.
"No! I was on Kirara! You were with me!" She looked at Sango, pushing against Inuyasha's chest so that she could look at her directly. "You were there, Sango!"
"You rode Kirara to the woods, but it was Inuyasha who carried—" Sango's eyes widened as she looked at Inuyasha.
"That—that wasn't real, was it?" Kagome asked quietly.
Inuyasha let out a growl.
"I knew something was fucking wrong!" He snarled, low and loud, fist striking the floor next to her leg. "Fucking dammit!"
"Inuyasha?"
"Don't worry about it, Kagome," Sango told her. "Things just make a lot more sense now, that's all."
"What?" She swallowed down the bile in her throat. "What did I do?"
"You bitched the whole way back and passed out," Inuyasha interjected before Sango could answer, and Kagome caught sight of the glare that he sent at Sango.
"What happened next?"
The room was hot again, and she felt the bile burn her throat as she thought about her arm and the heat and the blades.
She swallowed several times, but the urge to vomit never receded.
Inuyasha's arms dragged her back against him, and she went willingly, face buried in his collarbone as her arms slid around his neck again. She took several deep breaths and focused very hard on not vomiting.
She heard Sango get up and return, setting something down on the floor beside them.
"Nothing is going to hurt you, Kagome," Sango reassured her. "Miroku exorcised whatever it was last night. He hasn't felt it since."
Kagome was panting trying to keep what little food she had in her stomach. She let out her own low groan as her stomach bucked around her other vital organs.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled into his shoulder.
"It's okay," Sango told her, stroking her hair. "There's a bucket right next to you though, if you need it."
Kagome nodded, taking another few quick breaths, but the pressure in her stomach only increased.
This—this wasn't going to end well.
She could feel it.
Forcing herself to let go of Inuyasha's haori, she reached blindly for the bucket beside her.
"Kagome?" Sango asked.
Inuyasha started to move, and Kagome whimpered as she fiercely onto his fire rat, trying to show that she didn't want him to leave, but too afraid to open her mouth lest her stomach emptied itself, especially since it was already roiling.
He started to move her, and she fought him, though she lurched towards the bucket for a fraction of a second before trying to keep him in place, twisting her fist in his haori.
"If you need to vomit, it's okay," Sango told her. "Here, just move over here a little."
Her eyes were clamped shut, and she whimpered again, taking quick breaths to settle her stomach, but the urge didn't settle.
Inuyasha's hands moved to her hips, and he effortlessly lifted her off of him, even as she tried to scramble back into his lap.
"Puke in the bucket already. I ain't going anywhere," he told her, and almost immediately her stomach decided to answer his request.
There was a singular dry heave, one that made her lurch, still holding onto Inuyasha and white-knuckling the bucket. Clawed fingers pulled her hair back as her mouth watered obscenely, and she started to turn towards Inuyasha to tell him not to go, but instead, she felt the spasm in her abdomen, turning just in time to retch into the bucket.
She barely managed to take a quick breath, gasping almost as another volley left her. She still clung to his coat as she retched. Another hand rubbed along her shoulder blades, trying to soothe her revolting stomach.
"S—s—sorry," she barely stuttered out before hacking up bile. Seriously, she didn't eat that much. How was there this much food in her system? She'd barely had a bowl of rice and whatever yesterday!
"It's okay, Kagome, I'll get you some water," another lurch and more bile came out of her mouth, "and a towel." The hand on her back left, only to be replaced with another, larger hand that rubbed similar circles on her back. She turned towards him, trying to give a reassuring smile, but it was cut short by her own stomach.
Groaning as she began the process of dry heaving and gagging on nothing, she heard Sango sit back down beside her.
"Are you okay?"
Kagome managed to hold herself together enough that she could look up at her friend.
"I think—" she started only to be cut off by her own dry heave.
This time she waited a moment longer before she attempted to leave the bucket.
"Here, have some water," Sango offered, holding out a small cup for her.
"At least wait to make sure she's gotten everything up," Inuyasha grumbled, still holding her hair back.
"I think," she swallowed, grimacing at the taste left over in her mouth. "I think I'm done." She took the cup and sipped gently, trying to rinse out her mouth and soothe her throat from the burn of the stomach acid. She spat the water into the bucket before taking an actual drink.
"Better?" Sango asked, and Kagome nodded slowly, taking a deep breath.
"Yeah, a little."
Sango poured more water into her cup and held it out to her.
"I'll take care of the bucket," Inuyasha said, but Kagome twisted her fist in his clothes, jerking him back down to the ground, choking on the water she'd just inhaled.
"I'll take it," Sango said, pulling the bucket away and taking it outside. "You stay here."
He huffed but moved to settle back against the wall, nearly dragging Kagome with him as he pulled her back into his lap.
"You've puked up everything in your stomach, so spill already," he grumbled as Sango sat down next to them.
"After we came back, Kaede asked to see my arm," she started, clutching the arm to her chest. "It looked really bad. It was really red and dark, and—" She stared at the bandage covering her forearm.
What if it still looked like that? What if that part hadn't been fake? What if that had been something real? She wanted to unwrap it, but that meant letting go of him, and he was the only thing that she knew to be real.
"Kagome?" Her head snapped up to see Inuyasha's concerned face.
"You got really pale all of a sudden," Sango said, reaching out to touch her face.
"My arm—is it still—?" She let the question dangle, glancing between the two of them.
Sango gave her a small shake of the head.
"Kaede said it was healing up nicely, and probably wouldn't even need the bandage in the next day or two."
"It's not infected?"
"Not at all. She left the bandage on just to be safe."
That was—that was good—a relief even.
"So, in the dream, your arm was infected?"
Kagome nodded.
"Kaede said we had to take care of it right away. That's when things started to not feel—right." She could already feel the tears burning at the backs of her eyes.
"And then what?" Sango urged.
"She told you to hold me down," she whispered, turning towards Inuyasha's chest as she sniffled.
"Who? Inuyasha?" Sango asked for clarification, and Kagome nodded.
"And then Kaede just started cutting, and she didn't—she didn't stop—it hurt so bad—and I couldn't—" Her words fumbled around as she tried to put to coherent thoughts together, but her mind kept slipping back to the dream, and Inuyasha passively holding her down, letting Kaede—not Kaede—do terrible and unholy things to her body with those knives.
Inuyasha growled, and kept growling, drawing her up close against him, covering her with the sleeves of his fire rat as she started to cry. She'd turned herself towards him, pressing her face into his shoulder.
The feeling of her fingernails popping off one by one was something she wouldn't forget for a while, if ever.
"Fucking piece of shit!" He snarled as Sango whispered something. "I'm not going to fucking calm down! She was fucking tortured, and the fucking fuck made me do it!" His grip tightened around her, one hand snaking up to hold the back of her head, almost as if to keep her in place. But this didn't elicit the same fear as before.
He'd wrapped himself around her almost completely, and it made her feel safer than she'd felt in a long while as she tried to stop crying.
This was real.
She was awake.
"Did anyone else do anything?" Sango asked, and Kagome shook her head, sniffling as she hiccuped her quiet sobs.
There was a moment of quiet, and the weight of her exhaustion was beginning to weigh on her.
"Kagome, none of that was real, you know that, right?" Sango asked, and she nodded, turning her head slightly to look at her through blurry vision. "You know that we would never—"
"Shut up, Sango," Inuyasha growled. "Of course she knows that."
Kagome's eyes, which were dry and sore from crying, craned up, looking at the bare neck of the hanyou who was bordering on crushing her against his chest. His legs had even shifted bending slightly to force her to curl into him.
Her arm throbbed, a sudden and painful spasm that shot up to her shoulder, making her hiss. Inuyasha almost released her immediately.
"What?" He asked. "What hurts?" His hands had retreated to safer places, like the small of her back and a knee.
"My arm," Kagome said, holding up the dog bitten arm for him to see.
"Do you think the stitches need to come out?" Sango asked.
"Probably," Kagome sighed, she leaned back slightly to look at Inuyasha, sniffling. "Can we go up to the shrine?"
"I could just take them out," Inuyasha said, tapping a claw against her bandaged forearm, highlighting them.
"I know, but I should apologize to Kaede anyway."
He huffed, a short, sharp exhale through the nose.
"I can go get her," Sango offered, and again, Kagome shook her head.
"No, it's not like it's any safer here than it is there. If—when—it comes again, I'll be in just as much danger here as I would be out there." Her fingers flexed slightly, tightening her grip on the firerat fabric. "You'll come, right?"
"Who do you think is going to carry your ass up there?" He pointed to her foot. "You're not supposed to be walking on that foot anyway." He looked over to the side. "Hand me that blanket, Sango."
"It's not that cold out," Kagome said. She just wanted to go and get it over with.
He made a noise that acknowledged that she'd spoken, but he was going to ignore her anyway. Sango handed him the blanket, deftly wrapped it around her shoulders, quickly sliding an arm underneath her to fully wrap it around her as he rested his arm underneath her knees.
"Really, we don't have to bring the blanket," she said, but he was already rising to his feet with Sango picking up Kaede's medical basket.
It was the same one that held all the knives. Maybe this was a bad idea. She didn't know if she could trust—no, no. This was Kaede—Kaede. She could trust Kaede with her life. Kaede would never betray her. Whatever this thing was, that was the problem. Kaede could and should be trusted. Kaede would never intentionally hurt her.
Not like that.
They moved towards the entrance of the hut, and Kagome flinched as they passed through the doorway.
She wasn't safe there, she reminded herself. She'd never been safe there.
She wasn't safe in the hut anymore.
She wasn't safe anywhere, really.
A/N: So there you have it. I think that we've got about three or so more chapters left before we wrap this up, but in the meantime, I sincerely hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter, even if it did wind up being more transitional in nature than I intended.
I also hope that you guys have a Merry Christmas (or insert whatever holiday you do celebrate, my wishes and sentiments are the same) and a very blessed New Year.