She is

by
Sakura-chan Master of the Clow
Track 05: Aurora

Disclaimer: I do not own any original characters from CardCaptor Sakura. They belong to the beautiful members of CLAMP. I also don't own any of the songs or lyrics referenced in this fanfiction. All belongs to the brilliant writer, composer, singer-songwriter, poet, and artist that is SHINee's Jonghyun and all those who helped create the album. However, the storyline for this fanfiction is all mine–inspired by the album "She is" itself, of course–so please no copyright.

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My eyes open to a blue-green sky, stars are twinkling but not as many as when I closed my eyes; the moon is sinking behind the line where the sky meets the sea. It must be close to dawn. I angle my head to get a better look at Sakura who is still sound asleep. Lightly I caress her cheek. Without meaning to, my thumb finds her lips and I remember last night. We kissed…right? I've dreamt about kissing her for so long my mind can't grasp between fantasy and reality. Though my body remembers. My lips can still faintly feel the sensation of hers soft and sweet on my own.
I want to feel them again.

"Syaoran-kun?" Sakura's eyes start to slowly open as the first rays of the sun begin to shine. She is still half asleep, but the fact that my name is the first thing she says, the first thing she thinks of, sends a wave of joy throughout my body.

"Hmm?" I hum. "Good morning. You're up early."

Sakura shifts her head to look at me. As if my voice were guiding her away from dreamland and as her eyes come into focus on me, I see a shift in them. Her green eyes blur with the colors of the dawn's light, an aurora has spreads before them. So beautiful. The moment before her eyes cross from dreamland to reality, I swear I was staring into the eyes of Ēōs, Goddess of the Dawn.

She rubs her eyes as if in disbelief and stares at me once more. "Syaoran-kun," she breathes. "You're still here."

I smile, entertained she doesn't completely believe it's me yet. I remember her words from last night and wonder if this is another one of her fantasies; me being the first thing she sees when she wakes.

"Have you been waiting? I'm here."

"I'm not still dreaming, right?" she asks

I gently tuck loose hairs behind her ear and grin. "Do you often dream of me?"

Sakura laughs lightly but never takes her eyes off me, her eyes searching for something that might confirm whether it's a dream me or the real one before her.

"Yeah," she answers, throwing me off guard. "I always wanted to wake up to you like this. You being the first thing I see…is reassuring. I'm not…imagining things again, am I?"

Sakura places a hand on my cheek, a touch so gentle and cautious as if she doesn't want to break the illusion. Her index finger curls then pinches my cheek to check if it's a dream. I hold her hand in place and kiss the base of her wrist.

"It's really me, Sakura." Her cheeks flush to match the dawn's first light. "But you know, to check if something is a dream, I believe you have to pinch yourself to wake up, not what you want to confirm is a dream or not."

Finally, she smiles. And just like that, I feel her love warm me up, my body sings from head to toe. There is a shine in her eyes as she looks at me. It's times like these I'm in disbelief that someone as beautiful as her is here with me, in front of my eyes.

For the first time since she woke up, Sakura averts her gaze from me. "W-why are you staring so intently at me? Is there something on my face?"

"Looking at you," I say, "is like a colorful curtain fluttering. You look so elegant."

Sakura laughs. "Don't lie, I just woke up. I must look like a mess right now."

"You don't," I reassure her, and turn her gaze back at me. "You're a light in this noisy world. So glamorous, like an aurora."

Sakura smiles shyly. "You're exaggerating. I'm not anywhere near as pretty as something as an aurora. They're one of nature's most beautiful sights."

"So you know? Beautiful things are not common. You are not common. You're beautiful, Sakura. Inside and out."

Her cheeks flush but she tried to play it off. "How can you say such sweet things so early in the morning?"

"How can you doubt yourself so early in the morning? I'd rather you not talk down to the girl I love like that. It hurts me just as much as it hurts her."

Sakura stares at me in awe.

I clear my throat. "Besides, I'm only stating the facts. Did you ever wonder why Daidouji is obsessed with dressing you up and filming you all the time? It's because you're unbearably cute."

Sakura laughs but she still won't meet my gaze. "I never thought too much into it, I guess. But…thanks."

"For what?"

"I don't brag about myself, or think I'm anything special. But you remind me every day there is something you love about me. It makes me love the parts of me that you love and want to improve and be better. It's all thanks to Syaoran-kun that I can have confidence and love myself more. I'm always being saved by your kindness." Sakura smiles, it's soft, gentle, and full of love. "Thank you as always…I love you."

I cup her cheek and turn my head so our eyes meet. "You…don't understand your own strength at all, huh? Sakura, your smile contains a magic that is able to draw people in."

Her eyes flutter, stunned. "My smile? Y-you're exaggerating. I don't have such powers."

I lean in and hold her gaze. "…You do. The proof is right before you, right?" I kiss her, gently. There's no hunger for her like there was last night. I take my time as I move my lips against hers, softly and sweet as her, hoping she can feel my love for her through it. When I pull back, her cheeks are flushed. Her eyes, half-opened became dazed like last night and focus back on reality as they travel from my lips to my eyes. They're the same as they were last night; big, expectant, enchanting, love-struck and looks at me like I'm her whole world. "I-I'll also cast on you a magic spell of love that you can't dispel for the rest of your life."

Sakura smiles, that same one I just told her of. I can't help but smile at her.

"You see? Just with one look or one smile, I am yours completely." I tighten my hold on her. "Even if you're already in my arms, I want you endlessly."

Finally, her eyes find mine, they twinkle, teasing as she smiles. "Syaoran-kun, you're face is so red."

I grin. "You're not one to talk."

Embarrassed, Sakura hides her face in my chest, tightening her hold on me. I sigh, a warm feeling bubbles up inside, enveloping me. Ever since Sakura moved in with me, there are more and more times I feel the way I do now; comfortable, relaxed, and…at peace. I'd be the luckiest man alive to wake up like this every day. I realize in an afterthought, this is happiness. Unknowingly, I draw her closer into my embrace.

Sakura gently places a hand on my chest. "What are you thinking about?"

"A part of a song I remember. One that describes this moment perfectly."

She turns her head to look at me. "Can I hear it?"

I smile. It's so like her. Always asking first instead of saying what she wants. "Of course," I say and clear my throat.

"Warmly hold me tight.
Like the clouds that wrap around the moon.
Stay by my side.
So even the stars can be jealous, alright, Aurora.
So I can close my eyes and rest, hold me more."

"Aurora…" Sakura says thoughtfully. "You compared me to an aurora earlier, too. What brought that on?"

"What else? You of course. When you first woke up, the sun had just started to peek through. Your eyes blended with the dawn's first light; it was like Ēōs was greeting the world through your eyes."

Sakura's eyes softened. "You're very romantic, you know that?"

I grin. "Only for you." Sakura reaches up to comb my hair, her eyes shimmering enough to put the stars to shame. Her lips are in a small pout again. "What are you thinking about?" I echo from earlier.

"Nothing. Just…" she grins. "I thought you wouldn't kiss me again."

"It'll be harder to hold back now, that's for sure." She doesn't laugh like how I expected she would and I hesitate. "Do you…want to kiss me again?"

She nods. "I want to learn more about you, and be closer to you than anyone else."

"You already are."

"I know but…"

She stops. Her brows furrow, contemplating her next words. I shift my body so we're facing each other and comb her hair back.

"What is it that worries you?"

Sakura shivers and snuggles closer into the blanket.

"This past year has been the happiest I've ever been in a long time. I never thought I would run a dance cover channel, much less a successful one that would open up opportunities to be a full-fledged choreographer. I could only make it this far because you were with me, supporting me. I've never been happier, but it's not because I do what I love for a living; it's because of who I live with and share this dream."

I smile but remain silent, giving her the space to gather her thoughts.

"But…there are times when I'm afraid. I'm afraid there could come a time when I'm unbelievably happy with you. And just when I think I can't possibly be any happier, you'll be whisked away from me again. A-and maybe this time…you don't come back. You'll find someone else you want to spend your life with and I'll be a forgotten memory. But I'd still be here, waiting for you to come back to me."

Tentatively, I reach out and stroke her arm gently. I had no idea my leaving affected her this much. I had little to no choice in the matter as a child, but I do now. And I'd already chosen her before I stepped back onto Japan's soil.

"Sakura," I say, my voice as serious as my gaze, so she knows there are no doubts. "You're the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with. We are more than partners in dance or business. I won't find anyone I love more. I'm here, and I'm here to stay. I promise I won't leave you again."

"You can't promise that. You have responsibilities as the only son in your family. Who's to say once graduation comes they won't take you away from me. And I can't fault you for doing what's best for your family. They'll need you to lead them."

"You sound just like the Elders," I say, amused. "But I'll tell you what I told them. If I am to lead in the future, I will do so from wherever you are. Be that Japan, China, America, wherever this dream of yours takes you, I will follow. I don't plan on leaving you again. If it's needed I may be gone for short business trips at a time, but you are more than welcome to join me."

"...How did they take it?"

I smirked. "Not well, but I stood firm. It helped that my sisters have already been slowly taking on more tasks from Mother. They're learning well under her guidance and we talked about splitting up roles and responsibilities so it doesn't all fall on me." I gently caress her cheek. "So yes, I can promise you that won't leave you. No one will take me away from you, okay?"

"Okay," Sakura's lip quivers. I pull her into my embrace as tears of relief flow from her eyes.

"Have you been holding this in for all these years? Is this why you meant when you said it's reassuring to see me when you woke up?"

"Yeah," she answers softly. "I would have some beautiful dreams of what it would be like when we were reunited, but then I'd wake up and you weren't there. Now, I wake up and often find you in the kitchen, cooking us breakfast. Being with you every day is better than any dream I had."

"I get it," I say. "Before I met you, I wasn't the happiest child. My life revolved around doing everything I could to meet the expectations set upon me. I thought I didn't mind, that I was doing my family proud, and I was. It wasn't until I realized my feelings for you that I had something important to me to protect. And when you told me you love me too, it felt like morning, had finally come to my world of night."

Sakura shimmies enough out of the embrace to look at me. "There you go again, comparing me Aurora," she says and kisses me lightly on the lips. She pulls back before I could deepen the kiss, probably for the best. "Ironic, since I'm not a morning person."

"You woke up quite literally at the crack of dawn today."

"Only because I sensed you were awake and wanted to see you as soon as possible."

Her eyes slowly become droopy, sleep is catching up to her once more. I smile. She's right, she's not a morning person.

"Now that you're up, want to get started on breakfast, or do you want to sleep a bit more?" I ask, though I already know the answer.

Sakura tightens her hold on me and says, "Let's sleep a bit more."

I chuckle and adjust so we're both comfortable once more. "Alright," I agree. "Sleep as long as you'd like. We're in no hurry."

She hums in agreement. In the distance, I hear birds greeting the morning and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. Needless to say, it's the perfect white noise to put one to sleep.

Just as I think she nodded off to sleep, Sakura speaks. "I think I heard you say something last night before I drifted off to sleep. What was it?"

"Wo ai ni."
"Ah… What does it mean?"

I smile and boop her nose. "It means I love you."

She giggles, despite sleep taking over her almost completely. Before it consumes her, she whispers, "I love you too."

Chapter updated: April 23, 2022