Ashton put aside some of his duties in order to keep watch over his and Seiros' child, although considering how much of a handful Arawn would turn out to be, he felt he'd simply left behind some of his responsibilities in order to take up entirely new ones.
While Cichol and Cethleann were not there for the birthing itself, they were instrumental in ensuring that news of Saint Seiros giving birth was not leaked out to the public, and Arawn himself was taken into their household, where he would likely remain until he came of age. It was such a strange feeling to Ashton, thinking about it. He never expected to have children – it had been a vain hope in the back of his mind, despite the fact it would always be a possibility. Even then, he visited his son every day for months, until months turned into years, and he took his first steps.
Seiros was there most of the time as well, though her responsibility as a Saint meant that she couldn't visit as often as she wished. Still, she was there to witness most of her son's firsts: his first words, his first steps, his first stumble, all of it.
Ashton could not be happier, despite the hardships that came with having a son.
Then the day finally came, almost a full two years after his birth, in Imperial Year 41.
"Ashton," Seiros called, waving him over in the streets of Enbarr. Wearing her usual white robe when out in public, Ashton could feel his heartbeat quicken; such occurrences had become rare, what with their meetings behind closed doors, but they still happened. Something about it, however, made him nervous.
"Is something wrong? I thought we would meet later," Ashton replied, following her into the dark alleyway. "Something's wrong, huh? I can feel it."
"No, not wrong," Seiros whispered, stopping yet still not facing him. "I just thought it was finally time I revealed something to you. But not here, not in Enbarr. It is my last secret, the last thing we Saints have kept from you, since the beginning."
Ashton raised a brow, his face barely showing emotion, but his chest felt as if it was lighter than before, and his breath came out more rapidly. "Do you think it is alright, to leave right now? We never know when Nemesis will return."
When Seiros turned around finally, Ashton took a step back. It looked as if she was halfway between snapping at him or falling apart; her brows were furrowed, her mouth slightly open and baring her teeth, while her eyes seemed as if she would cry at any moment.
"Seiros?" Ashton asked, his voice low.
"I have put it off for far too long," Seiros said. "I have trapped you with me, for better or for worse, and now with this, maybe I have doomed us. But you deserve to know. You must know. It involves Nemesis, yes. He is the source of all of this. And by this time tomorrow, you and I will travel to see the origin of all of this conflict, of all of this bloodshed."
Ashton was silent as Seiros continued.
"We must travel to Zanado," Seiros finally stated.
Ashton had heard nothing of a place called Zanado. Nothing in Seiros' scriptures referenced the area. As he traveled alongside Seiros towards it, he was completely in the dark. Seiros herself had become distant and quiet, staring longingly at him when she thought he wasn't looking, and barely acknowledging his existence when she knew he was.
It was heartbreaking, in all honesty. Every time she did that, it felt like a dagger of ice through Ashton's chest. Did she not trust him to still love her, even after everything they had been through, over this last secret?
Maybe it is not a question of trust. I am here, after all.
It only took a week and a half to reach the area Seiros described. Over a week of trekking through the Summer wilderness with the sun above their heads and the ground beneath their feet. If it had been any other time, Ashton would have loved it, a nice getaway with his lover, perhaps soon his spouse, if he could just remember to purchase a ring.
Yet, all the potential enjoyment had been sapped away, leaving only a dark chill. And when he finally beheld Zanado, he began to understand why.
The whole of Zanada was a ruin. Rocky mountains outlined what could only be described as a grisly scene; ruined buildings, the style of which didn't resemble anything he had seen in Fódlan before. Desecrated streets cross-crossed across the abandoned city, with tall artificial plateaus resembling giant pyramids cropped up from the west. And towards the very back laid what looked like a cross between a divine palace and a sacred temple, with tall columns easily dwarfing those at the palace in Enbarr holding up a white roof covered in statues.
That was only one part of the spectacle, however. If it had merely looked like a ruined city, Ashton would have only been awed, not horrified as he was. The horror came from something else.
The closer Ashton and Seiros moved towards the city, the more the blood splatters became apparent. It covered the sides of buildings, rushed down the streets it what might've been rivers of it at one point. It was all dried and fading, with many of the stones face directly facing the elements having been cleaned of ichor long ago. That didn't mean that it was any less horrible to look at.
Something bad happened here.
Silently, Seiros and Ashton made their way through the streets. Despite the amount of blood, there were no bodies that Ashton could see. The entire time they were within the ghost town, he felt as if he didn't belong. It made his bones itch.
After what felt like hours, but what was more likely less than a full hour, Ashton and Seiros found themselves in front of the palace-temple.
Seiros finally stopped just short of the steps that led to the entrance, with Ashton just behind her. Ashton looked up at the marvel of stonework, awestruck. Even the ruination of the city around it could not bring down the beauty of the building in front of him. For just a moment, he thought about how he would have loved to have seen it during its glory days.
Then Ashton realized what they were there for, and he felt his heart sink.
"I feel I must once again apologize to you, my dear Ashton," Seiros said, her voice unnervingly emotionless. "I have never spoken of this place. Beyond its sanctity to the Church, I have never told a human of this place. Zanado. A city for our people. A beautiful metropolis. My home."
Ashton began connecting the dots in his head. "All the red we saw on the way here, no bodies…"
"You have begun piecing it together. I thought you might," Seiros continued, a bit of tenderness entering her voice at that. "But allow me to save you the time. This is the place where my people were slaughtered, their bones used to create horrific weapons that are still wielded to this day. Of our race, only six of us remain now. And I am the only survivor of this tragedy."
"Your mother, she was murdered here," Ashton murmured.
Seiros was silent.
"They were all murdered here. No wonder those weapons made me nervous, every time I looked at them. You could have been one, couldn't you? If they had found you. And all of this, all of it! I-!"
"Ashton," Seiros called, turning. "Please, speak no more. That is not why I brought you here. I did not wish to ask for sympathy."
"I did not think you were. This is just the first part, is it not?" Ashton took a deep breath, looking up at the statues that lined the roof of the palace-temple.
"Yes. These past few years have made me happier than I had ever thought possible, but during all of that time, I never once took into account the… the lies I have spun around you, the ones that kept you here. And now it is too late for it all to end cleanly." Seiros rubbed at her eyes briefly. "Ashton, my dear… I will not blame you if, when we leave from this place, that you never want anything to do with me again. I will accept it. I will handle the burden of raising our son, no matter how difficult it might be. You will suffer no repercussions from cutting ties with me, I will ensure that."
"Seiros, please," Ashton breathed out, "you have been frightening me ever since we set off from Enbarr. These past few weeks have been filled with nothing but ice. I just want- I just want things back to the way they were, before all this. If it's any consolation, I doubt whatever you tell me right now will have me abandon you. I already promised you I would not."
The sun fell behind the palace-temple, casting a shadow across both of them. Both of them were silent for a few more moments, before finally, Seiros spoke.
"Very well," she whispered, her voice steadily growing louder. "My mother was murdered here, just as you have surmised. My mother… her name was Sothis."
It took a minute for the gravity of what Seiros said to really settle in to Ashton. His breathing quickly relaxed as he ran over it in her mind.
Her mother is the goddess. The goddess is dead.
Even then, so many things did not add up. What about his dreams? Were they not prophetic, in some way? There was something about them, something different. And the goddess was a part of that, he was certain. Despite what Seiros said, he could not believe that the goddess was dead. She was a goddess; was it possible some part of her survived?
It could not have been for no reason. It cannot.
"Ashton?" Seiros murmured, stepping closer. "Are you-?"
"She's dead, then?" Ashton asked, causing Seiros to jump slightly at his sudden question.
Seiros' lips thinned as she nodded. "Yes. I saw them butcher her right before my eyes, right within this temple. The sword Nemesis wields, it is her. Her body. I do not know how they were able to harness her power, but him and his Elites now use the bodies of my people, the lifeblood of our race, for nothing but war and destruction."
"An atrocity," Ashton commented.
"And many more have been wrought in their wake. I- I used her guidance, her voice to rally the people of Fódlan, even though it is not my own. I used her to avenge her," Seiros explained, her voice cracking with every word she spoke.
"Nemesis is a monster," Ashton replied. "I- Seiros, I want to ask you something."
"Anything. My heart is open to you."
"Is the goddess truly dead?" Ashton asked, his hands balling into fists. "Because even with what you have just told me, I do not believe she is completely dead. She is a goddess."
"A goddess, yes," Seiros said, closing her eyes. "A goddess to the people of Fódlan, and our creator. She brought life to the land, and to me."
"My dreams, your visions, a dead goddess, could not do that," Ashton pressed, stepping forward. "It was not all in vain. I could not have been sent here for no reason. I refuse to believe it."
"I…" Seiros looked away. "Perhaps there is some truth to what you say. I hope above all else that there is. I want my mother back. I want Nemesis to suffer for what he has done, for all the suffering he has caused."
"I do not blame you for, well, lying to me about this," Ashton sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just delusional. Maybe I'm just trying to make up excuses. But I choose to believe in this anyway. That's what faith is all about, right?"
"That… is a unique way of looking at it, but not untrue," Seiros acquiesced, holding her hands together in front of her stomach. "And a lie of omission is still a lie. I just wanted you to know. I should have told you long ago. There is no way to know if my mother still lives, whether in spirit or… or in body."
"It is my choice to believe in what I want," Ashton said. "And right now, I am going to choose to believe that you did this with the best intentions, and that you never wanted to hurt me. As you can see, I am not hurt. I feel… stronger, actually."
Ashton held a hand up to his face, feeling something there, just beneath the surface of his skin, like pins and needles.
"I never wanted to hurt you," Seiros replied, "Never. I would never let you come to harm, whether through my action or inaction. I love you, Ashton. I can only hope that you still return those feelings."
Ashton smiled, then, his chest practically bursting with warmth.
"I still do. With all of my being. If Sothis is still out there, somewhere, one day you will find her. And hopefully, I will be there with you," Ashton said, holding his hand out.
Seiros looked to him, and then to his outstretched hand, and back again. A shuddering breath left her.
"Am I allowed to have this?" Seiros asked, and Ashton couldn't tell if she was asking him, or the air itself. "Can I be happy, despite my selfishness?"
"I think you deserve a chance," Ashton said, "and even if your motives are selfish, what did I once say to you, about saving the continent regardless of your intentions? Nemesis is a monster that needs to be stopped, not even considering personal vendettas. And I love you, too. I hope that's enough."
A laugh escaped Seiros' lips, taking a step forward as she wiped at her eyes.
"Ashton… my dear Ashton, has anyone told you that you have such a way with words?" Seiros said.
Ashton smirked. "Sometimes. I have no idea what they are talking about, though. I just speak how I feel."
"Playing coy already? After all of this? I had expected anger. Righteous fury. And yet here you are, loving me even now. What am I to say to this?" Seiros asked.
"You could take my hand," Ashton pointed out, waving it slightly. "I have been holding it up for a full minute now and it is starting to ache. If only there was someone who could help alleviate that."
Seiros hummed. "Indeed. Such a shame."
"Ah, perhaps my hopes were in vain. Oh well, I suppose I will just hold it here, then," Ashton said, "alone. Cold. Dark. I love you, you know that right?"
Seiros moved forward again and grasped his hand. Moving close, she laced her fingers with his, wrapping her other arm around the back of Ashton's neck and holding him close.
"And I love you, too, and I will say it as often as I need to. After today, there is no doubt in my mind. You are mine, from now until the end of time."
Ashton felt a shiver run up his spine as she whispered those words into his ear. Suddenly, almost all thought left his mind as he hugged Seiros back, running a hand up her back, up and down. It had become second nature to him, and finally being in close contact with her after over a week of shunning left him desperate to feel it again.
"Let us leave this place," Seiros murmured. "We will return to Enbarr, with our son and our fellows. And one day, when this war is finally over, I will no longer be Saint Seiros, Divine Oracle and Herald of the Goddess, and you will no longer be Sir Ashton, Knight of Seiros. We will simply be Ashton and Seiros."
Ashton let out a breath. "I like the sound of that."
Ashton may have entered Zanado nervous and afraid, but he left it with a stronger will and love than before. He was at Seiros' side; what more could he want?
With their trip to Zanado concluded, Ashton threw himself into his duties with more vigor than he had previously. Each step felt lighter, every swing of his hammer felt easier, and when he went to visit his toddler son, he never wanted to leave. Seiros was not much different. Whenever Ashton attended one of her sermons, he could hear the conviction she spoke them with, and when they were alone together, she let her passion show through. Ashton didn't know if it was always there, and he simply didn't notice it, or if she really had changed as well.
It was nice, all things considered. For a while, Ashton had forgotten that Nemesis was out there, somewhere, plotting against the Empire and the Church.
Of course, Roland was the first to remind him that such forgetfulness could cost him if he wasn't careful.
On one of the few nights where Ashton was able to relax, he and Roland sat by a fire in the main hall of the latter's family manor. Such happenings were not uncommon; Roland's family had long stopped questioning it, and they were never up for too long to be noticed.
"He will be back," Roland had said, his voice low. "I am telling you, Ashton. I have a bad feeling about it. Sooner or later, he will return, and it will be a bloodbath unlike any other."
"You are preaching to the choir, my friend," Ashton sighed, rubbing his tanned forehead. "There is not a single person in Adrestia who thinks that Nemesis is gone forever. Men like him never truly give up or go away. Just ask Saladin or Jasmin. Not Nothic, though. Nothic is made of nothing but spite and acid."
Roland grunted. "May I speak candidly with you, my friend?"
Ashton waved a hand.
"I do not feel comfortable with so many descendants of the Elites among our number," Roland sighed. "I know that what I feel is irrational. They have been accepted by the Church of Seiros, and I will not speak of this to anyone, not even my family. But they unnerve me. Saladin was enough, but now with talk of this Jasmin and Nothic, I feel only dread at the news."
Nodding, Ashton snorted. "You speak as if I do not harbor my own doubts. Saladin has earned our trust dozens of times over, and I would place my life in his hands, just as I would with you or Ella. Even so, those two, they are unknowns. I do not believe they will betray us; they were left behind, and I believe that they have come to terms with that, as much as it hurts them. Still, we train them either way, and Jasmin in particular has asked about the Church's teachings many times."
"I suppose there is nothing to truly be worried about when it comes to them," Roland acquiesced, "but even so, that is only part of my worries. I said a moment ago that I fear Nemesis' return, that I know that someday soon, he will arrive. We were able to drive him off last time, this is true, but what if he finds some way to outmaneuver or overpower us? What then?"
"Then we would need to find a way to fight back," Ashton replied, shrugging. "I do not have a definitive answer to assuage your worries, Roland. I am merely a lieutenant, not the captain of the Knights. Trust in the Saints, and know that they will do everything within their power to bring him and his compatriots to justice."
Roland nodded, leaning back in his chair and causing it to creak.
"I wish I shared your confidence. Your piety. It seems you have become a true believer, since coming here," Roland remarked.
Ashton let out a chuckle. "You could say that, yes."
"I do mean it. You have truly taken the goddess and the words of Saint Seiros to heart," Roland continued, smiling. "You truly have become one of us, haven you not?"
I yearn for the day I can tell you, Roland. About my son. About my love.
"I would like to think so," Ashton replied, crossing his arms as he stared into the fire. "I have been here for over a decade now; it would be far stranger if I simply continued as I had been."
"Sometimes I forget that you are a foreigner," Roland said, "such labels no longer seem to suit you, my friend."
"I have made a life for myself here, it is true," Ashton said, rubbing his forehead. "And it would take quite a bit for me to abandon Adrestia now. I have too much at stake. Too much to live for."
"You and I both, now," Roland responded, looking around for a moment before sighing. "I wish we had wine at the moment. I am thirsty."
"Yes, and that is not at all rooted in the fact that you wish to swish the glass from side to side like some sort of card-carrying, roguish villain?" Ashton asked, raising a brow.
"I do not need to resort to such things to play the part of a villain, Ashton," Roland said, "luckily for you, though, I am in a charitable mood. Though if you blow my cover again, I will be forced to detain you."
"You can try," Ashton replied, deadpan.
"Merely a jest, old friend!" Roland clarified. "I would know better than to imprison you, however. You would likely just find a way out eventually."
Ashton laughed. "If we were able to break Cethleann out together, then breaking out ourselves would not be much of a problem, would it?"
"Perhaps, perhaps not. Ah, but that does bring back memories. It is difficult for me to imagine life before that awful day. So many people slain upon that field, and for what? At least Saint Cethleann was able to leave that scene unharmed."
"I am glad you do not think of them as the good old days, or something like that," Ashton said. "That battle was terrible, yes. I would not repeat that. However, I find myself happier than I have ever been. What about you?"
"Well," Roland mumbled, tapping his fingers together rhythmically. "I am… to be wed, by this time next moon."
Ashton blinked once, then twice, and then wiped at his eyes as if something was in them. After a moment, however, he clapped Roland's back.
"I never thought you had it in you!" Ashton laughed as Roland sputtered. "Er, that is, unless this was arranged?"
"It very much was, yes!" Roland snapped, "Do not presume! Though the terms are agreeable, they are not of my choosing."
Ashton looked away. "I'm sorry- uh, apologies. I had thought for a moment that it was mutual."
"You have a terrible habit of not letting me finish what I am saying, do you not? By the goddess, Ashton, I do like her. Perhaps those feelings can even blossom into love, should it come to it. She is a beautiful woman: fair, cunning, intelligent. She is all I could ever want in a significant other. I am content."
Ashton shrugged. "Sometimes I forget that you cannot love of your own volition. Sometimes it is thrust upon you."
"Not always, though it has become increasingly common practice," Roland answered, "I am one of the lucky ones. I pray that this practice does not become an issue later on. Children born of these loveless unions will not develop well. It could create an endless cycle of selfishness and greed."
Ashton felt a shiver run up his spine at Roland's words.
"There will be time to correct that," Ashton replied, looking away. "I hope there is."
Roland shook his head. "Forgive me, Ashton. I have made this night rather dour, have I not?"
"One way of putting it," Ashton mumbled.
"Well, then." Roland clapped his hands together. "Allow me to correct that now. I would ask for a toast but there is no wine. To the future?"
Ashton leaned his head back and chuckled, holding his fist out. "Let's try this out instead. Ever hear of a fist bump?"
Roland blinked. "I do not believe I have, no."
"It's easy," Ashton continued. "Just press our fists together for a few seconds. Easier than a handshake and less of a commitment than a toast."
Roland tilted his head at the explanation before shrugging, pushing his fist against Ashton's for moment before drawing back.
"We'll need to work on that. That was awkward," Ashton noted, putting his fist down. "But still, that counts. For the future and all that, right?"
"Whatever it may hold," Roland replied, leaning against his head against his palm.
"Well, for what it is worth," Ashton continued, cracking his neck. "You have reminded me of something very important. Something I kept forgetting to do for one reason or another. I need to buy a ring."
Roland raised a brow for a moment before a look of realization spread across his face. He smirked.
"That lady of yours. This one I still have never met. You are ready to propose marriage? And here I sat, espousing my own troubles with such things. I envy you."
Ashton snorted. "It will not be a big thing, you know. At least, I do not imagine she would want that."
"When shall I meet this lady? Within the next decade I hope," Roland grunted.
Ashton shrugged. "If the goddess is willing, maybe one day. Let us just say that she is a… busy woman."
Roland laughed. "I shall take your word for it. Still, I can hope."
"One day, Roland. One day," Ashton echoed. "Until that day, let's enjoy tonight."
Ashton did not know the first thing about buying a ring.
The shops of Enbarr were always bustling with people, with fine goods being bartered for and people going to and fro across the streets and sidewalks. Most of his worldly wants were provided for by the Knights of Seiros, and Ashton himself had little need for shopping needlessly. That left him unprepared for the task of simply finding a pair of rings, especially with what he had in mind. He had the gold for it; it was finding it that was the issue.
Luckily, he had a few connections.
"And you suspect I have great knowledge of this place?" Hera asked, smirking smugly at Ashton who stood beside her. "True enough, I often buy produce here, but I have never been fond of jewelry, Ashton. How stereotypical of you."
"It was either you, Ella, or Roland, and none of them are very learned about business here either," Ashton replied sheepishly, playing with his hands. "And do not even get me started on Saladin. The man would not be able to tell the difference between a ring and a pair of brass knuckles."
"Crude, but I see your point," Hera hummed. "Very well, I suppose Cichol and Cethleann's meals can wait. Come with me."
Ashton was led through the streets of Enbarr, thinking all the while about how foolish he was to wait as long as he had. He'd already had a child with Seiros; he had practically skipped the ring part, and it wasn't as if their courtship had been ordinary, not with her Sainthood. Still, perhaps a part of him had a glimmer of sentimentality after all.
"What sort of ring were you looking for, exactly?" Hera asked upon leading Ashton to one of the many stalls the lined the streets of the market. "I supposing you had one in mind, of course."
"Silver," Ashton said, holding his hand out. "Perhaps with a green emerald inlaid in the middle. Nothing too fancy, just… something to remember, right?"
Hera hummed. "You are a strange man, Ashton. Has anyone ever told you that?"
Ashton looked around before leaning in. "Seiros has, though I think she likes it."
"I would assume so, since she had a son with you," Hera giggled, "well, then, let us see…"
Ashton held the pair of rings in his hands, feeling his heart thumping in his chest. With the Crest that ran through his veins, he was scared that if he closed his hand, he would crush them. Perhaps such fears were unfounded, but he wasn't going to test the strength of the jewelry just to be sure.
A few days, and after Hera's immense help, Ashton and Seiros went out into the outskirts of Enbarr, where they had confessed their love years before under a starlit sky. Ashton would always think of it as the happiest day of his life, only narrowly beaten by the birth of his and Seiros' son.
Seiros lifted her hood and allowed her blonde-green hair to flow freely in the summer wind. Even as Ashton moved towards the same lone, gnarled tree among the verdant hills, he was transfixed by her. If he did not already worship the goddess and know of her fate, he would have thought that Seiros herself was a goddess. She noticed him staring, and a healthy blush spread across her cheeks even as she smiled.
"Every time you stare at me like that, by the goddess, it makes my heart flutter. You really love me."
Ashton chuckled before taking a deep breath and enjoying the shade of the tree. "I wonder what could have possibly tipped you off to that."
Seiros stroked her chin, and Ashton had to stifle a laugh imagining her with a full-blown beard. "Hmm. Now that is a question. I wonder. All I know is that you have led me to this very special place, for reasons unknown. Should I be worried for my safety?"
"Only if you think you'll die of a heart attack when I show you what I have," Ashton said, holding his hand behind him. "It has been a long time coming, and we likely skipped a few steps along the way, but I finally did it."
Seiros' face scrunched in confusion before her eyes widened. "You did not."
Ashton smiled. "I did."
Seiros turned around, taking a deep breath as Ashton saw her play around with her hands for a moment, before turning back. "Well, I suppose you should… be asking me a question, yes? I-I am waiting."
Somehow, her nervousness made him feel a bit better. Ashton fell to one knee and held out his hand, holding the two silver and emerald green rings in his hand. "My Lady Seiros, will you marry me?"
Seiros closed her eyes, with perhaps the biggest smile Ashton had ever seen since the birth of their son on her lips. After a moment, her hand reached out and grasped one of the rings before gently sliding it down the ringfinger of her right hand.
"I accept your proposal, my dear Ashton," Seiros said, opening her eyes. "I have half a mind to chide you for waiting so long, but what is a decade compared to the hundreds of years we will spend together?"
"More of a formality at this point, isn't it?" Ashton asked, laughing as he stood up. "I know there won't be a ceremony for a long while, but it still helps to have something to remember this time by, right?"
Seiros watched Ashton slip his own ring on, and she moved forward and cupped both of sides of his face in her hands.
"Then let it ring through eternity," Seiros whispered. "Let it be known that I love you and no other."
Ashton leaned his head forward. "And I will love you, for as long as I live."
When they kissed, however, Ashton couldn't help but feel a certain bittersweetness to it. It felt like something would happen soon, like a distant, dark storm on the horizon.
Promises are meant to be broken.
Enjoy this while it lasts. This is the last nearly fully fluffy chapter left.
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