Chapter Notes

Surprise! That was fast? Probably won´t happen again for a few days though.
A lot of Thor in this chapter! And the last 1000 words are pretty much an essay on all the things wrong with the royal family of Asgard.

Chapter 9: On gods and how to babysit them

"Thor… Thor!", I hurried after him out onto the street, trying to get him to slow down. The science trio followed after us curiously.

"Thor! Stop for a moment! What exactly is your plan here?"

He turned around with an excitement that reminded of a Golden Retriever. I could basically see his tail wagging. It was very distracting.

"I will reclaim Mjolnir and return to the halls of Asgard!", he proclaimed with determination.

I sighed. Just because I was planning on him behaving like this, doesn´t mean I couldn´t be exasperated by his naivety. I mean, a warrior prince (nearly king!) hundreds of years old, anyone? He grew up with Loki dammit! Zero cunning, zero!

If I didn´t think Odin was a giant bag of dicks, I would feel sorry for him. Both his sons exhibited some good qualities for a king but had major flaws all the same. If they could reliably work together, they would be great rulers - but they couldn´t.

To be fair, Odin seemed to be a terrible parent. And a terrible king when it comes to his succession. It wasn´t all their fault.

Dr. Fosters voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"You heard what they said. The site is crawling with government agents now."

She looked quite sceptic. Understandable. I could confirm that Shieldra had arrived a few hours ago.

"Yeah, my alarms notified me of that. Tell you what Thor, I will accompany you there. You wouldn´t be able to get past my safeguards right now anyway."

With that I turned to the scientists, ignoring Thor's attempts at questioning me about his hammer. I lowered my voice to be discreet:

"How about you three go back to your headquarters? We are going to draw a lot of attention there. And we will return anyhow. This isn´t as simple as Thor thinks it is but convincing him just won´t work right now."

With the last few words, I gestured to Thor as if to express "just look at what I am dealing with".

Jane still seemed to want to protest (ever the nosy scientist), but Selvig put a hand on her arm and shook his head. She gave in.

I knew they would return to their research being confiscated by Shield. One problem after another.

Humming absentmindedly, I addressed Thor while creating a teal platform a foot above the ground:

"If you would please step on."

Didn´t want to accidently portal into a newly put-up wall.

Thor went on without a fuss and I hovered us through a portal to about 10 feet above the crash site.

I remembered from the movie that Shield built a little city around the hammer, however Mjolnir itself would be under the open sky. For whatever reason.

Suddenly appearing like this startled a lot of the agents running around. They all froze with a hand on their guns, staring. Some were furiously whispering into their wrists. Probably alarming Coulson, who was still occupied with stealing research. Oh I´m sorry, confiscating.

Since coming to this universe I´ve become a lot more bitter about Shields antics.

I lowered us through my own rune-barrier and studiously ignored everyone around us.

"Here we go, have at it.", I said with zero belief in Thor´s success. Not that he noticed. He was already laser focused on Mjolnir.

I stood back with my arms crossed and my head cocked as Thor nearly popped out his shoulder, groaning with effort. Just like in the movie, he sank to his knees in defeat after a minute or two.

With how wrecked he looked, I nearly felt sorry for him. Only nearly though. Don´t try to commit a massacre if you still want people to sympathize with you.

I tuned out for a few minutes while Thor felt sorry for himself and the Shield cronies ran around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Maybe I was a bit harsh on Thor, but his jolly-giant energy is diminished a fair bit when the lifes he takes so casually are suddenly real.

I tuned out for so long that Coulson had arrived in the meantime. He was trying to draw my attention. What surprised me was that Barton wasn´t somewhere up higher in one of his "nests" but just slightly behind Coulson.

"Bluelight!-"

I immediately grimaced. Somewhere deep inside me I had hoped that at least Shield would have a different codename for me. Dammit.

"We have been trying to contact you for a while now. But I have to admit it is a surprise to have you appear here."

He tried to continue when I waved him off.

"Yeah, I normally wouldn´t want to interact with Shield. This is an exception. And I am probably the most qualified person on this planet to handle this.", I explained, noting that he wasn´t surprised at my knowledge of Shields existence.

Well, that most likely had to do with the fact that two out of the three Hydra bases the X-Men and I had raided had disguised themselves as Shield facilities. And they had my symbol sprayed all over them.

"You see, this hammer? That´s Mjolnir. And that man here? Thor Odinson, freshly exiled from Asgard by his father after he provoked an interrealm conflict. Now, I know Shield hasn´t dealt with Asgardians yet-" -at least I was fairly certain or they should have reacted better to this situation in the original movie- " so we don´t want draw Odin´s ire."

By his bewildered blinking I inferred that Coulson was caught off guard by the turn this conversation took. Good.

"You see how this is hard to believe, yes? You are talking about aliens. This man-", Caulson paused to gesture towards Thor, who was still slumped on the ground, "seems entirely normal to my eyes. Do you have any proof of what you are saying?"

I huffed, amused at his attempt to get me on the defensive.

"Come on, we both know he isn´t the first alien Shield has encountered over the years, just because he isn´t naturally green… Doesn´t Fury literally keep a Flerken? Well, as much as anyone can keep a Flerken."

Now Coulson was surprised. Hah. Take that.

"You seem very informed. May I ask how?"

"You may, doesn´t mean I am going to answer.", I dished back like the little shit I was.

"Look, you have lots of questions, I get it. How about we go sit down a bit. Is Fury on his way too? I´m sure my appearance here bumped up this whole situation on Shields priority list."

Four hours later I sat next to Thor in an interrogation room, sipping on my self-provided mug of hot chocolate through a metal straw to not get anything on my mask.

Thor was just staring listlessly at the mug of creamy goodness he had cradled in his hands. I crinkled my nose in distaste. His own fault if he doesn´t ever get to taste it at it´s best again. Don´t let anybody tell I´m not petty. ´Cause I am.

Just then the door slid open and in came the duo of Coulson and Fury.

"I would introduce myself but –"

Before "Fury" could lie any further, I interrupted him:

"You would be lying, considering you are a Skrull and not actually the director of Shield. Let´s please not embarrass ourselves any further, yes?"

I was entirely unimpressed with Shields hijinks by now. Maybe that was just me seeing Hydra in everything they did. The look of shock on Skrullfurys face was hilarious though.

Of course, with the whole alien-space-tech-magic-thing Ree had going on, it could scan for aliens. Also, my archives of aliens are straight-up nightmare fuel. Ignorance is better sometimes.

Skrullfury was still sputtering when the door opened again, and the real Fury entered. This one was naturally unimpressed (looking at least, I´m sure he wants to know how I know) and whooshed in like bat. Or a bat-demon. Or a Snape.

Say what you want about all the shady shit he sanctioned or instigated; he did still have the aura of Samuel L. fucking Jackson. Normally the way he stared me down while everything about him screamed "Don´t fuck with me." would have me stuttering at least a bit.

But by this time, I was already out of fucks to give.

Four. Hours. Alone with a sulking Thor. Give me a whole host of hyperactive mutant kids from Xavier any day. But no more self-absorbed brooding man-child Gods please.

And the chairs are uncomfortable.

"Yes, yes, let´s get started. ´Who am I? `

Well, the press already named me, didn´t they.

´But who are you? `

As if I would actually tell you.

´How do you know about aliens? `

It´s the family business, inheritance if you will.

´How have we not heard about you before? `

Don´t really know, I just started and as far as I know the inheritance skipped a couple of generations because of an abrupt death. Also, it´s traditionally just alien stuff, so…", I trailed off. I shifted in my seat to alleviate my poor aching backside.

Fury was outright scowling at me now. In contrast to earlier when he was just scowling in general.

"Are you an alien?", he asked.

Perplexed I opened my mouth to deny immediately – and paused. I closed my mouth and tilted my head. Actually? Was I? What would a blood test show?

Wasn´t even the worst explanation for Ree. An alien ancestor, that came to earth with the ring, that used it to protect their new home from outside interference? That could work.

"I might be, at least partially. Born on earth though." Just not this earth. Heh.

Fury stared at me skeptically.

"Oh, and I sure as hell won´t give you any of my blood to test.", I tacked on smiling my best eye-smile à la Kakashi. Now he was scowling at me again.

"I didn´t think so considering your other activities this year.", he said coldly.

Oh, here we go.

"If you are only concerned with aliens, why raid our facilities. That is suspicious, you have to admit."

I smirked.

"I said that my family only cared about aliens. I decided to expand a bit. I´m sure you realized be now my interest in those facilities lies in what was done there."

I paused dramatically and lent forward.

"Or rather who was kept there and for what purpose."

By now Fury's face was more furrowed than that of a particularly grumpy cat.

I´m sure he had been alarmed by the traces of things he didn´t know about in those Hydrabases. One had to wonder what story Hydra and the World Security Council fed to him.

As far as I knew both Caulson and Fury were deeply involved with the Index, so I wasn´t all that enthused with the idea to spoon-feed them any info. Let them chase Hydra´s tail on their own.

For another half of an hour, they pressed for more info concerning me, my powers, my intentions, my actions, blah, blah, blah… I just smiled pityingly at them and gave non-answers. I had the upper hand here.

Interestingly, the more frustrated they were, the better my mood became. I had finally reached the bottom of my mug and slurped the rest out noisily. I could swear there was a vein twitching on Coulson's forehead. Fury was nearly audibly growling now.

I refilled my mug with a wave of my hand.

Oh, that is most definitely a vein alright. Doesn´t look healthy.

I started slurping again before I could start giggling. Totally worth the stomachache I would get later because of all the chocolate.

Fury sighed.

"Alright, let´s pretend we believe all of this. What exactly is his deal?", Fury asked while nodding towards Thor once. Thor stayed silent and continued to sulk. Man-child. Now I was sighing.

"He is the asgardian crown-prince, or at least he was. I´m sure you are somewhat familiar with the norse myths? Just assume they are somewhat true, but also always just slightly off. Thor here pissed off his dad Odin by attacking another realm and risking war. Odin bound his powers to Mjolnir and send them both here. This is supposed to humble him. He can only return when he proves himself worthy, so Mjolnir heeds his call again."

When I finished my explanation, it was as if the energy returned to Thor. Labrador powers up to 100.

"Truly? I can still return? I just have to prove myself?", he asked eagerly.

I stared at him with bewilderment. He didn´t know? What did he think Mjolnir was doing out there?

"Yes? What did you think; that Odin just outright banned you?"

By the look he was giving me that was exactly what he thought. Well, then it makes somewhat sense that he was so down about it. Damn, now I felt kind of bad. I thought he knew!

"Nah, I looked at the enchantments and runes on Mjolnir before I even left that rune circle around it. I really want to go to Nidavellir sometimes.", I murmured, using my magic as an excuse for my foreknowledge.

The casual mention of magic left the Shield agents peaking up again.

"So that was you?", Coulson questioned before Thor could start pulling enough of his spontaneously combusted braincells together to form sentences again.

"Yeah,", I hummed nonchalantly like they wouldn´t kill for my knowledge. "Magic is a tricky bitch in the best of circumstances, don´t want any ´unworthy` mortals electrocuting themselves by accident."

I knew that wouldn´t happen but they didn´t have to know that.

When the interrogation turned to my magic, I stonewalled them again. They switched strategy and tried to convince Thor to come with them. First, they seemed to get to him by baiting him with working for Shield to prove himself. I shut that down quick.

"Shield is shady as shit, and they are selfish as shit. No, thank you."

In Thor´s eyes I held some authority in this matter. So he listened.

When I was sufficiently convinced that Fury was just circling through the same questions now, I stood up. Agent and director went on alarm immediately.

"As fun as this is, I think we should leave now.", I announced, "Don´t call me, I´ll call you."

I smiled. Next to me Thor stood up and I grabbed his shoulder with one hand, opening up a portal with the other. I pushed us through and closed my magic off in time to see Fury´s alarmed face coming in our direction.

I let go of Thor and clapped my hands together. Mission accomplished. I had landed us behind the garage of the Scooby gang. Brimming with satisfaction of being finally free of Shield again, I went in. Thor trailed along behind me.

"So, what is my third favorite group of scientists up to?", I asked happily.

Said group had seen better days, they hung around a table and brooded. To be fair, the garage was depressingly empty, that much was obvious even in the dwindling sunlight.

"You are back!", Darcy exclaimed. "Some shady agency came and took all our stuff after you left!"

"Shield.", Eric corrected, "They are known to do that."

"All of our research, our gear, the gear I built, the data we collected…", Jane added, she was devasted.

"They even took my iPod, who does that!", Darcy pouted, "Wait, did you say third favorite?"

Somehow, she looked even more outraged at that. I laughed. I dropped myself on the other end of the table and made vague gestures with my hand.

"I know a lot of scientists. We just came back from annoying Shield if that makes you feel any better." Eric perked up in alarm. "It´s fine, they know they can´t pick a fight with me at this point."

I handed Jane a preprepared drive.

"Your data. Can´t help you with the rest of your stuff, they would just get it back, but this they won´t notice if you´re careful."

Jane sputtered, "All of it? What kind of drive is this?"

Well, it was a lot of information on there. I shrugged.

"I know Tony Stark. He´s my favorite by the way."

Now I had three surprised scientists staring at me like I was the god in the room.

"You´re welcome."

It wasn´t a bad evening after that. Halfway through Thor excused himself. I gave him a few minutes before I followed. I found him on the roof.

But he wasn´t alone.

I had counted on that but I wasn´t sure if I hadn´t changed too much.

There stood Loki, cloaking himself with magic, looking down at his sitting brother with false pity. Thor was panicking and tearing up.

"What do you mean? I will be able to prove myself! Father wouldn´t-"

"He did. And then he died. I´m sorry, brother.", Loki said, decidingly not sorry considering he was bullshitting.

"Bullshit.", I said. All in all, I wasn´t impressed.

Loki looked at me surprised. Pff, as if he could hide himself (or his projection) from me that easily. Alright maybe that has to do with me possessing two aspects of magic he has never encountered.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and stared at him. He started sneering. When he made to question me, I started speaking:

"Odin isn´t dead, he´s asleep. If he were dead, we would know. There are spells that would fizzle out together with his lifeforce."

I was mainly speaking about Hela, but I wouldn´t tell them that just yet. Loki looked like he had bitten on a lemon. Thor was just confused™.

"Truly? Loki? Is this one of your jests? This isn´t funny, brother!", Thor exclaimed with increasing heat in his voice. Loki opted to ignore him and studied me with a scowl.

"And who are you mortal? What do you know of seidr?", Loki demanded. He tried to maintain his posture, but I had caught him off guard.

"The mortals", I drawled mockingly, "named me Bluelight. Did you think magic wouldn´t reach Midgard? That out of view of Asgard nothing changes? Just because you have ways to look everywhere, doesn´t mean you see everything. You sure as hell don´t know everything. But it´s the Asgardian way to assume differently, I guess."

"You-", Loki bit out enraged. He took half a step in my direction before getting himself under control again.

"Insolent. So, you are the one who told Thor he could return."

"Yes, I took a look at the hammer. That is the way it was enchanted."

Loki was clearly frustrated. This wasn´t going the way he had envisioned it. He turned to Thor and told him coldly: "There you have your answer. I can´t bring you home. Goodbye Thor."

Then he disappeared. He ignored Thor stretching out a hand and calling: "Loki, wait!"

That left a frustrated Thor with me on the roof alone. The golden brother was marching up and down, trying to make sense of Loki´s lies. I sighed.

Time to pull my canon and fanon knowledge together to start another round of therapy to fast-track the character development.

I sat down on the ledge and let my legs dangle over edge.

"Thor!"

I pat down on the space next to me. He looked at me for a moment and then he came (like a good dog – no, brain stop this retriever analogy!). I checked with Ree if there were any cameras directed at us (It isn´t paranoia when they are really out to get you!) and let my mask disappear.

Thor watch me with curiosity now.

I hummed in thought while deciding how to start.

"Thor, you noticed that I can scan for alien species right?"

He nodded. He wasn´t all that present mentally while we were with Shield but that was an important bit.

"Hm, I scanned your brother just now. It came out as Jotunn."

Thor´s eyes widened, he made to get up, but I stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Friend, we have to find him, he has my brother most likely! Who knows how much discord the fake can sow before the guards can catch him? He must have been sent to secure the win for Jotunheim! We must-"

"No, Thor. That was Loki."

He looked even more confused now.

"What are you saying?"

"You know, in our myths Loki is often portrayed as a Jotunn that grew up in Asgard? He was taken in by Odin, but his birthfather was Laufrey.", I explained calmly.

No need to mention the numerous inaccuracies.

That stirred him even more.

"Loki wouldn´t betray us to the ice giants!", denied Thor indignant at the suggestion.

"That isn´t quite what I was saying.", I calmed him down. "Let me tell you what I think happened. I think your brother was always the clever one. I think when you were supposed to be coronated, he felt underappreciated. He didn´t know he is Jotunn. He doesn´t know that it would be a political disaster for Odin to crown him instead. He just sees his rasher brother with the crown."

Thor had furrowed his brow and listened intently.

"The coronation day comes, and Loki plays a trick, a test. He feigns an attack, a few individual Jotunn are let in. He knows they won´t come far. But it sets the stage. He knows Odin won´t retaliate, but you will want to. He just nudges you slightly and you go off. He showed everyone how you aren´t ready, how you still fail at your duties, how you let your pride blind you. And Odin punishes you."

The thunderer was very still now. But he wasn´t storming of. A win in my book.

"However, - something happened that Loki didn´t expect. He found out he wasn´t Asgardian. There were a lot of contact points with Jotunns, it had to happen. Now he is in emotional turmoil. His family isn´t his family at all. They lied to him for centuries. He questions everything he was ever told. Loki confronts his father, but Odin falls in Odinsleep before he can get any answers!

That leads us to Loki now. He feels alone, confused, hurt. He can´t trust those he is closest to."

There was some doubt and hurt in Thor´s eyes. I breathed and thought for a moment.

"His plan just now. It wasn´t very good, was it? Telling you, you couldn´t return and that Odin is dead? The last thing is easily disproven when your father wakes up and what then? He´s caught. I think Loki is just lashing out. He hurts, he feels like he just lost his father twice over. And so he wants you to feel the same. For once he isn´t thinking ahead, just acting out."

That actually occurred to me just now. Damn, that made me kind of sympathetic towards him. If he wasn´t such brat, you could easily feel sorry for Loki.

I hoped Thor wouldn´t question me about were all those thoughts came from. But I figured that if there was a figure in the MCU, that would let get away with this – it would be Thor.

"Honestly, I blame your father more than Loki.", I threw out. I mean, while I am at it, right?

Thor looked astonished at that. I don´t think he hears others questioning his father a lot. He seemed content to listen though.

"You know, Odin was really bloodthirsty before you were born, right? That´s how he came to rule the nine realms after all. I think, he reacted so extreme to your behavior in Jotunnheim because it reminded him of himself in his youth. He bought his power with a lot of blood. Now he is afraid of letting go of that power and losing it because you aren´t ready. Odin sees all the death and destruction it took to get here in Asgard´s wealth and prosperity. When he sees you acting out, he sees all that threatened.

The problem with that is his assumption that he is doing what is right and everybody knows it. Lying to Loki wasn´t right. And it´s biting him in the ass now."

I shrugged. That was as far as I was willing to explain without bringing up Hela, arguably Odin´s worst mistake. Thor let out a breath and started staring into space. His thought seemed as far away as the stars.

Part way through my monologue, my warning runes had alarmed me to Loki´s attempt at picking up Mjolnir. I pondered how it was quite sad that Loki still tried to measure himself up to his father's expectations.

"He is still my brother."

I looked at Thor and smiled.

"Don´t let anybody tell you differently.", I said, knowing full well that Loki would, not that far into the future.

We sat like that for what felt like hours.

"You know, you don´t have to hide yourself behind a mask. You aren´t ugly at all."

I let out a strangled bark of surprise and promptly swallowed spit down the wrong pipe. The next ten minutes I spent trying to catch my breath while laughing and hacking out my lungs. Thor wasn´t helping. He hovered over me, worried he had somehow killed his new friend.

In my defense, it had been a long day.

Chapter End Notes

Why did I use feet instead of meter in this chapter? I don´t know. Was very perplexed when I reread what I wrote. But, meh? Sometimes my brain just works in mysterious ways. That whole retriever thing is another one of those instances.
I don´t actually know if the whole Skrull switcheroo is a thing this early on, or if that happens only after the blip but it´s fun so I am making this my cannon. :P
Also: the Index, pretty much the only thing I intend to include from the Agents of SHIELD show – that show is a mess and a half and I can´t do that to my poor, precious timeline. The Index is Shield categorizing the enhanced and bringing them to heel or even eliminating them if they deem it necessary. Which is why Al is not amused with any of Shield's shit. They are way to similar to Hydra in method sometimes.