Chapter 66
January 1st, 2023, Boston
Logan and Rory had had the mature version of New Years Eve. They'd been uninterested in going out to some big party, going out to watch the fireworks around town or even to bother opening a bottle of bubbly. It had all just felt so done and since they had the evening to themselves a simple takeaway meal in bed at Logan's apartment had been everything they'd felt like, while watching some indie film, had seemed like perfection.
About half-way through the movie they'd taken a much more literal approach to 'mature' and Rory had very decisively climbed to Logan's lap in an attempt to distract him, the cowgirl having become their newest favorite position since Nantucket, showing off Rory's bold moves.
They'd kissed lengthily, just enjoying the touch of the other's fingers against their skin. They knew each-other's bodies so well that they could really just play the other like an instrument - a little tug here, a little lick there, a light brush of a finger on the right spot and the right amount of momentum at a mindblowing first thrust, that caused both of them to gasp out of ecstasy. It was no longer just about the end goal, but just as much about the process, each move and sensation holding something close to a mini-orgasm if one's mind was in the right place. And that they were - content, in love and at the same place at the same time both mentally and physically.
Rory had ridden both of them into a victorious orgasm, their fingers intertwined as if attempting to ride a bicycle without hands. Their ability to read each other was second nature by now, each angle and intensity holding a specific purpose when they had the end goal in mind.
After collapsing next to each-other, kissing some more and giggling like teenagers at the joy of being naked in bed at their age and not caring about a damn thing in the present moment, Rory headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
"I got you something," Rory said, returning to bed, where Logan laid, still sweaty and naked. She'd picked up another item from her purse on her way back.
Logan turned halfway, casually draping a bed sheet over his waist.
He recognized it in an instant.
"What is this? A second Christmas?" Logan asked, crooking his eyebrows.
"Don't make me regret this..," Rory said, trying to sound like this was no big deal, and handed him the book.
"Thank you," Logan exhaled slowly, meaning it from the bottom of his heart, his gaze lingering on her for a moment.
Rory, dressed in a simple bamboo robe, settled back to her side of the bed.
Logan felt like he held the holy grail in his hands - or something equally exclusive. ˇThis wasn't something that money could buy.
Its cover held a watercolor painting of the gazebo turned into a carouselle, symbolizing the wheel of life that just kept turning. It had silhouettes of characters - men, women, older and younger, none of them drawn out to be recognizable. The book felt light in his hands - after all it was just 150 pages or so, a hardcover but still printed on fairly thin paper. To him that was unexpected, having anticipated something that had been so important to Rory, something that had caused so much drama and needed to be made so unattainable to feel more substantial in his hands.
"Can I read it now?" Logan asked, despite being fairly certain it was going to be a 'No'. Suddenly, despite the afterglow, he wasn't feeling tired at all.
"If you must," Rory said, burying her face in the pillow for a moment.
"I kind of want to…," Logan replied, turning eagerly to the first page, where the foreword was written.
Rory peeked back up at him, unsure if she was able to stay there, next to him, if he did.
"For my daughter so she know of life's wild rides," Logan read out the foreword.
"Wow..," Logan exhaled, getting unexpectedly emotional already at the first sentence. There were exactly two people in the world what the end of that sentence meant, right there in plain sight a declaration of the two of them, a declaration of…. at the very least wanting to remember them.
"I added that last," Rory said.
"I love it…," Logan said, not believing his luck, despite the detours of life.
He went on to read the book out loud slowly, sentence by sentence, on occasion allowing Rory to describe the writing process behind it or the reasons why some things had been tweaked or left out, some because of her editor. She had rushed this book, she'd made it about half as short in the end as she'd originally felt it should've been and that indeed reflected in it. Even Logan admitted that it felt rushed, and in parts unlike her. But the stories it held came familiar to him, many at least, the ones from her early childhood, however, giving him an insight to her like he'd never gotten before. There were a few in which he recognized himself too. They were deep, at times critical and he could most definitely understand better than before why Lorelai might've had a problem with it. But it was honest and genuine - it was Rory's story.
"I'm glad you let me read it," Logan said, hours later, the two having barely stopped this interesting dynamic for bathroom and snack breaks, the clock on the wall already indicating it was closer to morning than evening.
"Yeah, but you see why I pulled it, right?" Rory asked.
"Could some things have been done differently - with a better editor, with more time - sure… but it's still an accomplishment, Rory. And even if your mother has problems with it, you shouldn't be ashamed of this. I don't think you should at least. You can write. You can tell stories. And I hope one day…. In some format you will again, and I do hope our daughter will read this too even if just to see that you've created something," Logan said, running his finger through Rory's hair, who was lying next to him.
Rory hadn't realized how badly she'd wanted him to read it and say something equivalent.
"You know… And I don't mean to say it to blame you. Not at all. But I think it's the way you always have the ability to balance things, that leads me to think that had I let you read it… I might not have felt so vulnerable at my mother's opinion either. I know grandma somehow got a copy through dad, maybe he kept one too… But none of them ever commented on the topic to me. They didn't say what they thought because it had become such a taboo topic for me. But I think I would've listened to you," Rory explained.
"I'll gladly be the balance in your life whenever you need it," Logan assured, laying down next to her, faced her and kissed her lips gently, allowing both of them to slip off to sleep.
January 3rd, 2023, Boston
Rory groaned as she pushed herself upright in her bed, feeling like her head might fall off if she moved another muscle.
"Oh, no…," she groaned, seeing weakly the numbers on her old-fashioned alarm clock that had woken her. The problem wasn't that she was late, she wasn't - but she was definitely feeling like everything was not alright.
It was a big day. Em's first day at the new school, and she was supposed to take her. First day meant making sure she wore good clothes, ate a healthy breakfast and had a nutritious meal packed for lunch. The first day set the foundation for this whole new school experience, and Rory was probably more nervous than Em.
Rory could tell, however, that what she was feeling was not some hangover or signs of aging, but the beginnings of the flu her dad had brought home just before New Year, having been with Gigi to Bora Bora for Christmas. It was their little tradition during Christmas to go traveling together, usually ending with Gigi flying straight to Paris from there to go see her mother. Her dad had jacked himself up on meds and flown to his business trip in Chicago yesterday regardless of the flu, leaving Rory now to deal with the aftermath - getting sick herself.
Rory's throat felt sore, and she was pretty sure she was running a fever too. She could only hope Em was in better shape than her.
Besides taking Em to school, being proudly unemployed, she had nowhere else to be than head over to Logan's that day, to discuss how to move forward with the business - consulting NGOs on project writing being the initial working title. They were doing research, market analysis, charting out potential customers, the plan being to only charge when their projects were successful. But there was still a lot of work to be done.
She reached for the bedside table, and searched her drawer for some Ibuprofen and a thermometer - something she always kept at hand, and took her temperature. Maybe she was just imagining this? Maybe in a minute as the pill started working and she washed her face, maybe she'd at least feel well enough to drive? But she knew she was supposed to go in with Em, and she most certainly wasn't planning on breaking school rules on the first day.
The thermometer beeped, indicating 101.5. There was no way she was driving like this.
While her first call would've been to Catalina, and her second to Camilla, hoping one of them could come help out, but since Logan lived only five minutes from there and this was the first day, she called him instead, hoping he wasn't yet in his online meeting with London. She wasn't hoping for miracles, but he knew he'd want her to call.
"Good morning," Logan picked up in a sweet tone, oblivious to the panic on the other end of the call.
"Help!" Rory said, realizing now also her voice was off.
"You don't sound so good. What's wrong?" Logan asked.
"I'm sick. It's the flu or something… fever and god... My head… Dad had the same thing and I was supposed to get Em to the Atrium," Rory described the problem.
"Calm down, give me 15 and I'll be there," Logan promised.
"But what about your meeting?" Rory objected, clearly not thinking entirely straight right now.
"I said I'll be there," Logan promised, having no problem postponing whatever London had set up for him. They'd just have to deal. "Now, go wake her up and don't worry," he added.
Rory did just that, and other than struggling to get Em out of bed, the girl seemed to be healthy as a horse.
With the utmost care to was her hands Rory made the girl a simple breakfast and gave her a smoothie and a simple sandwich to go for lunch.
Logan got there just in time for Em to get dressed, Rory truly feeling like she didn't even want to climb back up the stairs, each move she made making her feel like she was working out.
"Here! Rest!" Logan told Rory, somewhat curtly, but knowing time was of the essence here, and handed her a paper bag from a nearby bakery, having figured Rory's own breakfast hadn't been a priority so far. The bag held a couple of their healthier choices, and naturally coffee, cold medcine, but also something else special, he hoped she would find later.
"Come on Em, let's get dressed," Logan urged the girl to hurry up, taking over, allowing Rory to collapse on the couch downstairs and rest.
The two disappeared upstairs, Em luckily already knowing more or less what she wanted to wear to school, while Rory just let the paper bag linger on the coffee table, not having the energy to move another muscle.
She knew her dad was just as poorly off in Chicago, having texted with him a little the day before. But they knew it was just the basic flu, nothing worse.
"Okay, now we just need your lunch, and your bag and then we're ready to go?" Logan discussed, gathering up the various items around the kitchen and the living room, knowing his way around the house already pretty well, while Em put her shoes on.
"And you need to find Mrs. Gibbons and she'll direct her to the right classroom," Rory instructed, barely recalling the name through her memory fog.
"Gibbons, right, good. We'll be fine," Logan assured, but truthfully he was running on adrenaline too. It was a first for him too.
"Em, I'd give you a hug and big kiss for good luck, but I don't want you to get sick, so an air kiss will have to do," Rory said. "But I think you're going to do great. I'll be right here, thinking about you and wanting to hear all about it when you get back, okay?" Rory assured, feeling guilty already.
Logan glanced back and forth the bag and Rory, wondering how long it would take for her to open it. Maybe it had been a mistake? Not the right moment?
But right now he knew they had to get going.
"So, what time did school start again?" Logan asked Em and he stepped out the door, causing Rory to roll her eyes at Em's answer of 8.45, while knowing the classes didn't start until 9. Em was just like her.
Rory texted Logan the correct starting time, and snuggled back into the couch, hoping for the headache to pass quickly.
The drive through Boston wasn't half bad - they were going in the opposite direction of the traffic jams, so Logan really couldn't complain about getting to the school parking lot in good time.
"So, are you ready to go in?" Logan asked his daughter, glancing over to the back seat.
The girl remained hesitant.
"What's wrong? You forgot something?" he asked, pleadingly, but didn't get a good response.
He decided to go around to the side and help the girl out of the car, hoping she would open up.
"Can I ask you something?" the girl suddenly asked, sa they walked towards the entrance, having parked a little further away.
Since Logan knew they had at least 10 minutes to spare, he suggested they take a seat on a nearby bench, this way being out of the other's way.
"Of course. What's up?" Logan asked, feeling like something serious was on her mind.
"I get that you lived in London before. And that's like really-really far away," Em began, for a moment causing Logan to panic. This wasn't going to be the talk that he'd feared for months, was it?
"Yeah," he nodded along.
"But there are planes, right? You went to London a little while ago too, right? So why didn't you come be with us before…? Some kids have dads that live with them - why didn't you?" Em asked, turning this conversation into the main event of the day instead of her school day.
For a moment Logan wanted to just suggest that maybe this wasn't the best time to talk about this, or maybe it wouldn't be right to have this talk without Rory around, But he knew that if he shut her off, she might not dare to ask again.
"Wow, that's a big question," Logan sighed, trying to think back to the best version of this, having formulated that answer in his head a number of times by now.
"Just how do I know you won't go away again… and stay away... if I don't know why you weren't here before?" Em asked a rather advanced question, causing Logan a jolt of guilt.
"Well… I could just say that things were really complicated when you were born and that me and your mom thought long and hard about the best way to raise you and realized you'd be better off here with her and your grandpa. But if I'm honest with you - I think I was mostly just scared," Logan explained.
"Scared of what?" Em asked, innocently.
Logan would have replied to that with a long lecture on being afraid of change, turning everything and everything in his life around for the two of them. Thinking back he knew that technically he could've done a number of things differently. He also didn't want to go into discussing Rory's mental wellbeing with Em. This was a talk for the teenage years at best. There would be other talks about this - talks explaining his family, talks explaining his marriage and so on. But this one was supposed to suffice for this time.
"I guess...," Logan inhaled deeply. "I guess, I was scared your mom and you wouldn't need or want me around," Logan confessed. That was the root of it wasn't it - deep down he'd always worried that even if he did throw everything he had had - work, friends, money - away, he would just come back to them and have them push him away regardless of all of it. He'd been terrified that Rory wouldn't want him in Em's life no matter his circumstances. Sure, it was more complicated than that. A large chunk of it having to do with wanting best for Em and Rory too, but he wasn't faultless, he knew that.
"But I like having you around," Em said, sounding confused.
"Yeah, I like being around too," Logan replied, smilingly.
"And I know mom loves you, so she definitely likes having you around," Em elaborated.
"Yeah, I think she does too," Logan admitted, his thoughts trailing back to that paper bag on Rory's coffee table. Had she opened it yet?
"I'm scared of starting at the new school," Em admitted, glancing back at the big building.
"Yeah, it's a big school, lot of students, new things to get used to," Logan reflected, taking her hand assuringly.
"I won't know any of the teachers or other kids. I won't even know my way to the bathroom," Em explained her concerns.
"Well, I'll take you in and we'll find your head teacher and she'll show you everything. The homeroom teacher, the other students, the cafeteria and the bathroom," Logan assured, finding her adorable like this.
"What if I don't like it? Or what if the other kids are mean?" Em continued to worry.
"Then we'll figure it out. If you still think it is horrible by lunch time you can have the teacher give me a call, okay?" Logan assured her.
"But then you'll be so far away..," Em sighed, looking sad.
"How about this...," Logan began, going on to suggest an alternative plan to assure the girl would feel less scared.
The idea worked, and soon enough Em and Logan headed into the building, ready to face her fear head first. Just like Logan had faced his fear by showing up by her soccer field on a faithful September afternoon, feeling almost completely hopeless he'd ever speak to the little girl.
Several hours later, Logan was sitting in his car, replying to a few e-mail on his phone when the phone rang.
"Yeah?" Logan picked up and saw Rory requesting a video call. Naturally he agreed, feeling both apprehensive and hopeful.
"Where are you?" Rory asked, still sounding a littl off, but having clearly a little more energy already.
"I'm at the parking lot. I promised Em I'd wait around in case she didn't like it," Logan explained.
"You realize she's going to be expecting you to sit there every day now, right?" Rory pointed out.
Logan chuckled. But as far as he was concerned, he was fine to do whatever to make his daughter feel more secure where she was. Besides, he had a lot of proving to do that he was indeed sticking around no matter what. This seemed like a small price to pay.
"I thought you were coming back here..," Rory began. "Especially after leaving me with this!" she exclaimed, sounding hoarse and at the same time excited and kind of... mad.
Rory turned her camera around and filmed her hand that now had an engagement ring on. It was far from traditional - a platinum ring with a hexagon shaped salt & pepper diamond with a few smaller diamonds asymmetrically clustered around it. The box had already held a matching wedding band that was a little curved and would position right underneath the engagement band, and also a ring for himself, having decided to just get everything on one go.
"I wanted to give you the option of putting it into your drawer if you just wanted to ignore it until you were ready," Logan explained, inside feeling already like he was the happiest man on the planet right now. He hadn't wanted to push, but he had wanted to do everything depenedent on him to make sure she knew how much he wanted her to be his wife.
"Logan, I love you," Rory said, shedding a tear of joy.
"I love you, Rory, always..," Logan assured, not caring one bit if the woman that he loved had a runny nose and looked like a mess right now.
THE END
AN: Thank you for all of you who followed this one through. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Personally - I absolutely loved the idea of this story, but I am not 100% happy with my execution... could've used more plotting out (a few small plot holes remained as well) but it is what it is. And I know many of you would've wanted them to be further with moving in or deciding to have another kid by the end but that was not the point of this story. The point was recreating Logan's relationship with his daughter and Rory (in that order). And now I just think I left it at a spot where all those good things are more than possible, in whatever speed they want them. The door is wide open.