SHONEN ALLIANCE
RE:BIRTH
OPENING THEME: RANBU NO MELODY (Bleach)
Vine sighed, his head laid flat on the table. "Why does my life continue to be a never ending sequence of misery?" he sighed, glancing over at Alicia who was pulling a tray out of his oven.
"You agreed to this," Alicia reminded him, "you even suggested she had to beat you at chess before you'd start teaching her."
"I didn't expect her to have zero aptitude for strategy. I was even trying to lose that last one!"
"How did that work out?" Alicia asked.
"She overthought it, did something stupid, and basically beat herself. I really hope Hughes is having more luck then I am."
"What was Maes up to? I saw him in town earlier, and he seemed like he was in a hurry. He didn't even spend that much time showing off his photos of his family to our new friends."
"Not sure. He wanted to look into something in the archives. Something about the uprisings in the south and east. Country doesn't need Duel Academy to be a complete mess," Vine sighed.
"Well, I think I know just what you guys need," Alicia declared, now in the process of icing the pastries on her tray, "a batch of my special cinnamon rolls!"
"Yes please," Vine pleaded, desperately.
"Don't get to ahead of yourself," Alicia lectured him before he could even drag himself out of his chair, "I'm taking this batch to the Hughes family. I'll make more later and you can have one then."
Vine slumped back on the table but gave Alicia an energy less thumbs up.
"I'll be back soon," Alicia promised, covering the pastries for transport, "maybe try to get some sleep. In a bed, not in your chair."
"Hah, you assume I've been sleeping in my chair. That would require sleeping!"
"You're not helping your case!" Alicia shouted back before closing the door behind her.
Vine quickly looked around the house. Aliasse and Cosette were with the newcomers, Shantella was with her sisters, and Alicia had just left. For the first time in weeks, he was alone. The house was empty, and more importantly, quiet.
"Ahh," he let out a deep sigh, feeling himself relax, "peace and quiet."
Someone knocked on the door and made him immediately tense up.
"I shouldn't be surprised," he cursed, rising to his feet and making for the door. "I'm coming!" he shouted, annoyed when an impatient second knock shook the door.
"So help me, someone better be dying or…"
He pulled open the door and felt his blood freeze in his veins.
The long nosed Straw Hat, Usopp, looked like he'd endured a rough time. His left eye was swollen and black, sickly purple bruises covered his arms and face, and his nose was disfigured, possibly broken. Despite that, the majority of Vine's concern was not for Usopp.
Maes Hughes was draped over the Straw Hat Sniper's shoulder, blood flowing at a worrying rate from a bullet wound on his left shoulder. His breathing was ragged and weak and his eyes were glazed, on the verge of unconsciousness, but he was alive.
Vine was instantly in battle mode, donning his alchemy gloves and transmuting a sword from the iron in his door frame, he stepped past Usopp and Hughes.
"Get him inside," he ordered Usopp as he swept his hand around their perimeter, ready to blast the hell out of anything that so much as gave the impression of hostility. Only when he had backed in behind Hughes and Usopp, restored his doorframe, and alchemically welded the door shut behind him did he ease himself.
As Usopp lay the bleeding Hughes on Vine's couch, the Raging Blast Alchemist grabbed his sword from where it was leaning against a wall.
"What happened, he demanded as he secured the sheathed blade to his belt.
"Sorry," Hughes gasped weakly as Vine focused on the wound, "guess I… got in over my head."
"I can see that," Vine cursed. There was no sign of an exit wound, suggesting the bullet was still in the wound. Sure enough, it had struck Hughes's collarbone, fracturing the bone and stopping the bullet. Vine found himself getting the impression he was looking at what was meant to be a heart shot that had somehow been deflected just enough to save Hughes's life.
"This isn't going to be pleasant," Vine cursed, drawing his sword.
Using alchemy to superheat and sterilize the blade, Vine set to work with a skilled and steady hand, extracting the bullet with the sword's tip. Miraculously, the bone, while fractured, wasn't broken, but the bleeding still needed to be stopped.
Rushing to a storage closet, he retrieved a canister containing a light blue liquid and brought it to Hughes.
"What's that stuff?" Usopp asked as Vine poured half the liquid over Hughes's wounds and tossed the remainder to him.
"Ragnaid," Vine replied, "spread that on your injuries."
While Usopp applied the remainder of the Ragnaid to the worst of his injuries, Vine bandaged Hughes's bullet wound, binding it as tight as he could to try to stop the blood loss. "What happened?"
"I'm still not entirely sure," Usopp admitted.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
"That right?" "Luffy"'s voice initially surprised Hughes, but the veteran soldier composed himself and rounded, a knife in hand, ready to be thrown. When he saw what stood behind him, he froze.
Gracia Hughes stood behind her husband, the pistol aimed at his heart!
"No… it can't… what are you?" Hughes stuttered, the knife falling to the payphone floor.
"Hah, that look on your face! You humans really are pathetic," Envy declared proudly as he began to squeeze the trigger.
"IRON STAR!"
A small, iron ball struck the pistol, knocking it off target. It was enough to save Hughes's life, but the gun still discharged, striking him in the shoulder.
"What was…" Envy hissed angrily, looking to the source of the interruption.
"USOPP'S HAMMER!" Usopp roared, swinging his trusty hammer with all of his strength, striking Envy in the side of the head and knocking them off of their feet, stunning the Homunculus.
"Why you little…" Envy growled, rising to his knees, "I'm going to…"
"TOBASCO STAR!"
A small orb shot with pinpoint accuracy into Envy's mouth. The Homunculus was stunned for a moment, until the heat kicked in. They let out a pain racked scream as they thrashed around, their tongue feeling as though it were on fire.
"We need to go!" Usopp shouted, helping Hughes to his feet.
It took more then a full minute for the burning in Envy's mouth to soothe enough for them to assess what was going on around them. That was when they realized Hughes was gone.
"Damn it! Where did those bastards go!?"
/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Gracia? I don't understand," Vine admitted.
"He looked like Luffy first," Hughes revealed, "then… he turned into my Gracia."
"A shapeshifter?" Vine questioned, "is this thing a Homunculus?"
"That would be my guess," Hughes gasped, wincing as he tried to rise to his feet, "but right now, we've got bigger problems."
"Slow down, move around to much and you'll be in trouble," Vine warned, "and what happened to you? Doesn't sound from your story like you got into a fight with the Homunculus."
"The Homunculus wasn't the only problem," Usopp admitted.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Come on, we've gotta hurry," Usopp warned, trying to help Hughes along.
"We need to… get to a phone," Hughes protested, "gotta… warn… Colonel Mustang."
"You're bleeding out," Usopp pointed out, "we've gotta get you patched up!"
Hughes nearly collapsed, but Usopp was able to keep him on his feet. Hughes relented.
"Vine's," Hughes admitted, "it's safer then going to a hospital right now. Vine can at least stop the bleeding. Besides, he needs to know what's going on too."
"Well well. Seems I was right," called an unfamiliar voice, "seems leaving the mission to those Homunculi was a mistake."
"Who's there!?" Usopp demanded, rounding to face the voice's source.
A human-like figure emerged from the the shadows of a nearby alleyway.
"Well, I suppose I'll just have to address the issue," the figure declared, removing the cloak to reveal a scrawny, bald man wearing a simple black singlet like one a wrestler would wear. He wore metal gauntlets and boots with tubes running from the gauntlets, disappearing into center of his back. He was so scrawny, he looked sickly. More importantly to the ever arrogant Usopp, he looked weak, making Usopp's confidence increase.
"Address the issue, huh?" he mocked, chuckling as he stepped away from Hughes to confront the new enemy.
"Odd, I was under the impression you were a part of the group that bested Devour and Debauchery, yet I don't recognize you," the figure admitted, sizing up Usopp, "am I really to assume that Envy and Lust were bested by one of Lunaria's D-listers?"
"D-lister? Hahaha, it seems you have no idea who you're really dealing with here! You face Captain Usopp, the greatest Captain on the entirety of the Grand Line! The mighty Sniper King who holds command over 10,000 fighting men! The seas themselves tremble at the very mention of the name CAPTAIN USOPP!"
"That right?" the enemy replied, "guess you must actually be something of s big shot then!"
"I don't usually like to brag," Usopp continued to lie, "but if you plan to take me on, you should know that back home, I had a bounty of 100,000,000 beries! You'd better think twice about fighting me!"
"A hundred million what?" Hughes questioned.
"That right? That can only mean one thing," the enemy realized.
"That you're outmatched and should run while you can!?"
"Hardly. If you're bounty really is 100,000,000, then that must make you Straw Hat Luffy!"
"Uhhh… what?" Usopp stuttered.
"That's perfect. I thought you were just some nobody, but it turns out you're a real heavy hitter! Lord Decay will reward me handsomely when I bring him your head!"
"Well that backfired," Hughes lamented as Usopp began to sweat bullets.
"Hahaha!" he cackled, maintaining his crumbling charade, "so you figured me out! Not that it matters! Like I, Straw Hat Luffy, could ever lose to a scrawny weakling like y-OOOOOOOUUUUI!"
Usopp's confident boasting transitioned seamlessly into a terrified squeal when a red liquid began to flow through the tubes connected to the enemies back and, almost instantly, his previously withered, scrawny limbs bulked. Where once had stood a man who looked on the verge of starvation, Usopp now faced a bulky, giant of a man that stood three times his height with the build of a steroid abusing gorilla!
"Try to make this fun for me, Straw Hat!" The hulking foe roared as he charged forward, slapping Usopp aside with a single, powerful swing. The Straw Hat's Sniper playing Captain hit a nearby wall with eye-watering force, causing broken pieces of wood and plaster to rain down on him as he lay prone and motionless!
"USOPP!" Hughes shouted, his voice thick with dismay.
"Is that all?" the enemy sighed, his disappointment obvious, "I expected more of Straw Hat Luffy, but it seems I gave him too much credit. Seems in the end, he was just a D-lister after all," he spat as he turned on Hughes.
"One loose end left to address," he declared, reaching out with a hand that could crush Hughes's head like a melon. Maes Hughes was out of option.
"Damn it," he cursed, "sorry Gracia. Guess I'm not making it home tonight after all. Elicia… remember, Daddy loves…"
"EXPLODING STAR!"
A small metal ball struck the foe's elbow, exploding and driving the man away from Hughes, howling in pain as he slapped at his singed, smoking elbow.
"I don't care what you call me," Usopp declared, his knees trembling violently as he fought to stay standing, "I'm not going to lose here," he swore, reaching into his pack.
"You just don't learn. You shoulda stayed down!" the foe roared as he charged Usopp. Usopp pulled his hand out of his pouch and held it in front of him, seeming to catch the punch and stop it.
"What the…" his foe cursed as Usopp ducked under his fist and swung his hand for the foe's stomach, revealing the shell like object in his hand!
"IMPACT DIAL!"
Usopp slammed the dial against his opponent's stomach and triggered it, sending both of them flying as the foe was struck with the stored impact of his own punch.
Both fighters hit the ground hard.
The bulky enemy slowly rose to his feet, tenderly rubbing the point of impact.
"Ow, so that's what getting hit by me feels like. Not bad D-list…" before he could finish his line, a white bottle slammed into his head and shattered, drenching him in liquid.
Annoyed, the enemy didn't bother with any further words, instead charging and planting his fist square into Usopp's stomach. The Straw Hat Sniper coughed blood as he was sent skyward, crashing hard into the ground.
Every inch of his body groaned with near crippling pain as he lay, convulsing from the blow. Yet, as he had done time and time again in the past when it counted, the cowardly liar rose shakily to his feet.
"This fight's over," he stuttered, drawing out all of his strength to draw back his sling.
"Stubborn for a D-lister. I agree though, I should really be finishing the two of you off."
"This D-lister's about to take you down! That liquid I doused you with before wasn't water! It was alcohol!"
"What!?" the enemy cursed, the smell of the alcohol that soaked him finally registering.
"And even a D-lister like me knows… ALCOHOL LIGHTS ON FIRE!"
"SPECIAL ATTACK: FIRE BIRD STAR!"
Usopp released his sling and a flame like a glorious Phoenix burst forth from it! The flame caught the foe square in the chest and he let out a horrifying scream of pain and terror as his entire body erupted into flame!
"AHHH Put it out! Put it out!" he roared frantically as he futilely swatted at the flames with his hands, completely unaware of Usopp's wild charge until…
"USOPP'S HAMMER!"
The metal hammer cracked against the foe's skull, flattening him.
"HAHA!" Usopp roared with laughter, his strength seeming to return all at once, "how was that for a D-lister!? Bet you didn't see that… AHHHHHH!" his confidence instantly turned to terror and he let out a childish shriek when his enemy pushed himself up with his hands. Like a feral animal, Usopp pounced with a sound he probably would have called a battle cry, but that sounded more to Hughes like a terrified shriek.
"USOPP'S HAMMER!"
"USOPP'S HAMMER…"
"USOPP'S… HAMMER…"
"usopp's rubber band of doom"
"USOPP'S HAMMER!"
"HAMMER!"
"HAAAMMMEEERRR!"
Hughes gawked as Usopp unloaded on the, by now comatose, enemy.
"If Vine ever hears about this, I'm never going to hear the end of it," he sighed, shaking his head.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Fortunately for Hughes's pride, Vine was to busy trying to sort through what was fact and what was one of Usopp's embellishments to have any mental capacity left for giving anyone grief, a truly rare occurrence for the Raging Blast Alchemist,
"So who exactly are Debauchery and Devour?" Vine finally asked, giving up on sorting the superficial facts from fiction in favor of more important questions.
"No idea. I was wondering that myself," Hughes admitted.
"Huh? Oh right, you guys wouldn't know! Devour and Debauchery were the two Dark Saiyans we defeated already.
Vine and Hughes exchanged horrified glances as a thought occurred to them.
"Then… this Decay he mentioned," Vine voiced the fear first.
"Just when I thought our situation couldn't get worse," Hughes cursed, "to think one of these Dark Saiyans would be in Amestris."
CLOSING THEME: SHUNKAN SENTIMENTAL (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood)