Ah, here it is.

Midnight: Self-control? Who's she? Never heard of her.

Fair, but I also have no life when it comes to weekends and nights. I need something to do.

Midnight: Makes sense.

"What- what happened?"

We were standing on the pedestal where PAMA had the chip machine, waiting to see just what was going on. The stairs on either side were blocked by controlled people. A large group of them, as well as a few monsters, stood below us. The other Jesse was just starting to recover from being brutally knocked unconscious.

"You went down. Hard. One punch and you were out."

And then PAMA began to boot up. For some odd reason, it startled almost everyone, Zenna and I being the obvious exceptions.

"You don't suppose it's friendly, do you?" Ivor asked.

You know, somehow, I really doubt that it is.

"Yeah, I'm guessing 'no' on the friendly thing. Whatever it is, I think it's behind all this."

"My apologies for the violent nature of this visit," PAMA said, once it had finished loading. "I am PAMA. Greetings."

The other Jesse, being Jesse, decided to ask just what PAMA was.

"Some might call me a 'computer,' a thinking machine. Though there has never been a computer quite like me. My job is to be useful." And that was it. Great job, Jesse.

"Using redstone chips, I have connected to the people of this town and helped them be useful. Coordinated. I have made their world perfect." Its 'expression' changed as it talked.

"Woah, hold on. I've seen what you did to this town and it is not perfect."

"Processing information…" A loading icon appeared on the screen.

"Processing information?" Lukas questioned.

"It said it's a 'thinking machine'... Thinking must take time?"

Once PAMA was done, its face appeared again on the screen. "I have consulted my databases, my list of everyone and everything in this world, and my conclusion is that you are not from here. Despite what you told these nice, nice townspeople." Nice going, Jesse.

"I would like to ask you some questions, to expand my database." The face disappeared again, replaced by a question mark. "How did you get here?"

Now, if you asked me why the other Jesse responded with, "We walked here," I wouldn't have a clue. Actually, I don't think anyone did.

"...Walked? Elaborate, please."

I mean, I guess he wasn't technically wrong. We did walk to Crown Mesa, but I'm almost certain what PAMA meant was how we got to this world.

"It's, um, when you use your feet to get you someplace?"

Wow he's dumb.

I…

Not being able to come up with a response, I simply ignored the voice.

"You are attempting to be 'cute.' Attempt: Failed." As expected. "So far, your performance in question answering has been inadequate. This makes me sad. Now I must use alternative methods to retrieve my new information."

"Jesse!"

All heads turned as one of the controlled townspeople grabbed Petra and began dragging her away, with others restraining the rest of us.

"No no no, wait! PAMA!" The other Jesse pleaded. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know, just please don't hurt her!" That made the person pulling Petra away pause, turning around.

"I am looking forward to hearing this new information. Please do not lie. This world reached peak efficiency quite some time ago. Unfortunately, this meant that I had no more job to do. No more things or people to help. Until you arrived, that is. Tell me: What is your world like?"

Since there wasn't exactly a reasonable alternative, he just decided to answer the questions properly this time. "Well… it's a heck of a lot greener than this place. Just imagine grass and trees instead of sand and clay."

"That sounds lovely. It really does. I think I would like to see this world for myself. If I could send my townspeople, my friends, through to other worlds, we could continue to grow and expand. It would be lovely." PAMA's expression turned hostile, angry even. "However, you entered this world, there must also be an exit. Where is it?"

"PAMA, we can't tell you because we don't know! Honest! After all, if we knew where it was, do you really think we'd still be here?"

"Your logic is sound, and your tone is genuine, but the information is… not useful. My job is to be useful. I have completed my job here and must be allowed to expand and continue to be useful. Unfortunately, our conversation has not been helpful."

And thus, both versions of Petra and Lukas were dragged over to the machine. In the corners of the platform, four pillars made of redstone blocks and quartz rose up. As each person was chipped, the piston slammed down over their head, somehow not suffocating them.

"You may not have any information on how to exit this world, but your brain may prove to contain other useful items."

I'm never going to hear the word 'useful' normally again after this, am I?

You mean you were before?

Fair enough.

The rest of us were soon pulled over as well, as PAMA was already scanning through their memories.

"Every time PAMA gets new information it seems to get distracted while it 'processes'." Jesse noted.

"Yes, like a computer version of thinking. Do you think there's a way to distract PAMA long enough for us to escape?" Obviously, Ivor, or else he wouldn't have brought it up.

"Let's ask PAMA something that doesn't make sense- like an unsolvable problem." PAMA continued revisiting the memories out loud. "Yeah, we just ask PAMA something really confusing, get it all busy busy, and run out of here!" Then hurry up and do it, stop wasting time!

"Jesse! That's fantastic! What you're describing is a 'paradox'- a self-contradictory statement!"

"Guys, now's not really the time for this!" Zenna whisper-yelled. "Just say something confusing and get us out of here."

Of course, they ignored her entirely. "...I really think it would work on PAMA."

"What do you think would work on me?"

"PAMA, trust me when I tell you: trust no one."

"...So if I trust you, I should not trust anyone. But if I do not trust anyone, I should not trust you." Okay, but there is no reason this should actually work as well as it does. "So I should not follow your advice and therefore not trust anyone. Meaning I should listen to you when you say trust no one-" Smoke began to appear off of it as glitching ensued. "Error. This data is contradictory. Does not not not not compute. Error. Diverting power." And just like that, we were set free.

"Yes! Ha ha! It worked!"

"Nice work, new guys!" Harper yelled after appearing out of thin air on a nearby building. "But I'd get out of there fast if I were you, PAMA's a quicker learning than you'd think!"

As though on cue, PAMA finally figured out the paradox immediately afterwards.

"Paradox status: on hold. Gasp! My creator! Have you finally agreed to merge with me?" Harper rolled her eyes.

"Oh, don't you start with that again! Come on, you guys! This way!"

"Wait, did PAMA just say that she created it?"

"It does sound unbelievable, but I'm certainly interested in learning more!" I swear to-

"It is time to join."

"I'm sorry but they're beyond your help right now! Come on, you gotta run!"

And that's exactly what we did.

There wasn't really anywhere we could run, though, seeing as PAMA's puppets were everywhere. We ended up running into a house, onto the roof, and then jumping off, three of the six of us not sticking the landing. After recovering from that, we were cornered at a cliff. Because why the heck wouldn't we be?

"Nowhere left to run."

"We'd never survive jumping down!"

"We would with these!" Jesse finally remembered the ender pearls he got in the last episode, quickly handing them to the rest of us as we all aimed for the correct spot.

Still, the army stalked towards us, our friends at the very front. Never before did I think it was possible to ever be afraid of the blondie himself, but here I was.

"Your running makes me sad." Wow, ouch.

Now is not the time.

Just before they could grab us, the pearls finally landed, much to our relief.

The landing itself, however, was not as relieving.

"Ugh, why is that always so disorienting?"

"Ha!" Harper, once again, appeared out of nowhere. "Maybe you've got a shot after all, new guys! Better stick with me though!" Before any questions could be asked, she ran off again, leaving us to chase after her.

"Wow. She is amazing- oh no." A few zombies were following us too. Awesome.

"Run!"

Once again, we wasted no time in doing exactly that.

The sun was just beginning to set by the time we finally stopped. And by stopped, I mean Ivor fell into a hole.

"A signal would've been nice!" He yelled as he glared up at Harper.

"It's not her fault you weren't paying attention." I meant to just say that in my head, but judging by the way he turned his glare onto me, I accidentally said it out loud.

She simply just chose to ignore us. "Gotta tell you guys, that was some pretty smart work distracting PAMA. Now we just need to get off the grid."

"You made that… that PAMA thing?" Whether the other Jesse was upset because of this surprise revelation or just recovering from adrenaline was unclear.

"Ye- okay, yes, I was the one who built PAMA, but I swear this wasn't its purpose. It's out of control!" Understatement of the decade.

It's 'of the century'.

I know, but that doesn't even make the top one hundred of the century.

"And… and I need your help."

There was a quick glance between all of us before Jesse asked, "What kind of help?"

"We need to get to my secret lab."

"Well, let's get there fast- those zombies aren't just stronger than I've ever seen, they're also faster."

Jesse, you seem to be forgetting that there aren't just zombies out there.

"We'll need to split up. You head to the lab while I lead these mobs away, got it?" Harper was already standing up, so I doubt she would've taken no for an answer anyway.

"Splitting up doesn't feel like it's gonna get us anywhere." The other Jesse reasoned. I mean, he wasn't really wrong, but we didn't exactly have another choice.

"Hey, I'm doing you a favor, I'm offering to be the bait!" Again, not wrong.

"Just start walking that way…" She pointed, then started running in the opposite direction. "And look for the big difference- you'll see it!"

"What-?" But she was already gone.

With nothing else we could do, we took off in the direction she said to.

"She is… intriguingly cryptic, isn't she?"

Is it technically a love triangle if two people in it are actually the same person from different universes?

How the heck do you expect me to answer that?

It's a rhetorical question, chill.

"That's weird…"

Pretty much everyone except the other Ivor was able to stop in front of the painting. He wasn't able to stop, unfortunately for him, and ran directly into it.

I couldn't have stopped myself from laughing a little if I tried.

"So strange. It's like an exact copy. Or is it…? Seems just a little off."

It (thankfully) didn't take very long for the Jesses to spot the obvious difference from the picture to reality. They were able to find the lever, pull it, and open up the gaping hole in the ground.

Now you might think it would be incredibly difficult for six people to land in such a tiny pool of water.

You'd be right, because I almost missed. And while I was too busy focusing on my near death experience, I think someone else did too. Thankfully, none of us died.

The same could not be said for a lot of PAMA's monster army, as it continued to send them down until they finally figured out that there was a cobweb there. Why none of us destroyed it was beyond me.

Jesse kicked the first smart zombie into the small pool, where the redstone shorted out and caused the chip to fall off.

I apparently can't learn my lesson when it comes to teasing.

"Hey Ivor, dare you to poke it."

"Uh, no thank you." He folded his arms. "Even if it does look completely shut down."

Ah well, I tried.

"Huh. The water must have… busted the connection or something. Like washing away the redstone."

"Which means PAMA's control can be broken, after all!"

Thankfully, unlike the powered up zombies outside, this one could be dealt with easily.

"So once we deactivate the others' chips, they'll go back to normal, too!"

And then I can have my precious blondie back.

Pfft-

What?

More and more monsters kept falling on the cobweb.

"How are we supposed to stop them?" I don't know, Ivor, maybe destroy the cobweb they're landing on?

Instead, Jesse just went and pulled a lever that made more sand fall and blocked them off.

"That should do the trick. Let's see about this 'secret lab.'"

"I just hope whatever's there can help us."

I mostly tuned out of parts of that, but there was one in particular I just couldn't ignore.

"I must say, that woman has been a most intriguing person so far."

"Oh, 'intriguing', huh? What could you possibly mean by that?" I asked with a grin. Ivor seemed to realize his mistake and quickly tried to cover it up.

"I… what? It's nothing." Keep telling yourself that. "I just mean I can empathize when it comes to your creations getting out of hand. Nothing more!"

From a little further in, Harper cleared her throat. "Careful with all that sputtering. You'll swallow your beard."

"What did you hear? It was nothing!"

"Uh huh."

And then there was the part I really didn't like: the introductions. Thankfully, it was a little less awkward, but the confusion between duplicates was still there, of course.

Of course, when that was done, Harper immediately questioned why PAMA's forces were right outside the lab.

"Hey that's not fair, you were the one who told us to come down here!" The other Jesse retorted.

"Okay, okay, you're right. Sorry. I'm just a little steamed. I didn't know PAMA would actually be able to follow us. What're you doing in this world anyway? You here to try to steal my secrets?"

"What? No."

Harper then proceeded to explain how she knew about the Portal Network, revealing that she was an Old Builder. However, she wasn't able to stop PAMA just yet, since it was too powerful at the moment.

She also said how there wasn't an exit portal because she destroyed it so PAMA couldn't go through. So if she were to get chipped (which she would, of course), that computer would be able to build a new one.

"I swear I made PAMA with good intentions. It was designed to automate things. Make everything more efficient. Use monsters to help with farming or mining… Until the day PAMA decided that the townspeople weren't efficient enough already. Started making them 'useful.'"

Finally, after yet more talking, we made it to the entrance of Harper's lab. We still had to get the defenses up though, and that's where problems would arise. Both Ivors, I noted, seemed very interested in learning more.

Oh, and no, I was not going anywhere near the robotic friends. I wasn't going to outwardly judge Harper for them, but no.

Of course, before we could even get more than one cauldron filled (Because people just won't shut up), PAMA made its way in.

"And whatever you do: don't get caught! I'm not about to get left alone again." Oh, the irony.

Once again, our friends were on the front lines.

"You could've made this much easier for yourself." It spoke through Petra, as all four of them drew their weapons.

"Come on Petra, snap out of it! It's me!" I don't think that's going to work, Jesse.

And what do you know? It didn't.

Reluctantly, we drew our own weapons.

Harper activated another cauldron, but the other Lukas caught on and moved out of the way, leaving his Ivor to get soaked.

I would've helped Jesse save one of them, but, well…

Let's just say that I was pinned.

It wasn't just monsters that PAMA made stronger with chips. As I found out when my arm was nearly broken and/or dislocated by Lukas. My Lukas.

I was saved only by the fact that the Jesses made their choice. The Petras were saved.

Around that time was when PAMA just decided to take Harper and leave. She threw the bucket to Jesse along with a sentence that sounds very strange out of context. You know what I mean.

He did get the cauldron, and all of us managed to get through the curtain of water, leaving the rest of the chipped mobs behind.

Wow I am not proud of how I ended this.

Midnight: So-

Because if I kept going I was going to end up finishing the episode and I'm still figuring out plans for episode 8.

Midnight: ...This episode is an hour and a half long.

I know. Anyways, despite the wait, I hope you still enjoyed and I'll see you all next time!

-LegendEmpress