Titania and The Hunter

Chapter 27: Law and Order: Fiore Branch

I've been debating whether to release one long chapter or two smaller chapters. I decided on two chapters because the tone shift felt so weird that I won't like putting it in just one chapter. So this one will mostly be for laughs while the next chapter will set up chapter 29, and I can hopefully release that one in conjunction with Fairy Tail releasing its 400th chapter.

So I just found out Michael Jones from Achievement Hunter is voicing Sting in the dub for Fairy Tail.

Worlds. Collide.

########Hunter########

"So how do we plan to handle this situation?"

"They were reckless! They caused a panic in Oshibana, nearly destroyed the train station and the entire train track!"

"But they did stop one of the Dark Guilds we've had on the wanted list for some time now. And the only alternative for the destruction they caused would have been to allow Eisenwald to escape and harm innocent civilians."

"That is true. Most of the members of Eisenwald were apprehended in that train station because they were tied up with steel beams."

"That seems...rather excessive."

"But proved very useful."

"Even so, we have reports that say when they arrived in Clover, they had a battle that destroyed a good chunk of the surrounding environment and decimated the regular meeting hall for guild masters."

"The reports actually say the building was only 3/4ths destroyed in the battle."

"Yajima-San, I'm sorry but there really isn't much difference between mostly destroyed and completely destroyed involving property damage!"

"Despite our complaints, they did an admirable job in retrieving the Lullaby flute." Org said as he lifted up a glass container with the three-eyed skull flute in the middle wrapped in seals. He placed the container on the table, "What matters now is how we choose to approach this matter?"

"They need to be punished!"

"We can't punish them for saving lives!"

"Well we can't just let them off the hook! If we leave them be then other guilds may start to believe that they can get away with similar acts of destruction without any consequences!"

"Well then I have an idea." The other members of the Magic Council all looked over to the blue-haired man relaxing in his chair with his feet propped up on the table. He lowered them when he got their attention, "If we can't punish all of them, then why don't we make an example of them?"

The Chairman of the Magic Council, Crawford Seam, sat up in his chair, "What are you proposing, Seigrain-kun?"

The young man with the intricate tattoo over his eye smiled, "Well, a few of the Fairy Tail members involved with the Eisenwald incident are pretty well known. 'Salamander' Natsu Dragneel-"

The Council members groaned, "Ughhhhhhh."

"-the Maker Mage Gray Fullbuster-"

"Ughhhh."

"That new member being acknowledged with the act of breaking down Duke Everlue's mansion-"

"Ughhhh."

"-the S-Class Mage 'Titania' Erza Scarlet-"

"Ughhhhhh."

"-and the other S-Class Mage 'The Hunter' Naruto Uzumaki."

"Ughhhhhhh."

"Of course that troublemaker would be involved with this." Michello spat with some venom in his voice, remembering the last time that rude blond boy stood in front of them years ago.

"If you all are so worried that Fairy Tail is making themselves out to be such untouchable warriors, then it might be time to show how some warriors have to pay the consequences."

########Hunter########

Dear Mom,

It's been more than a week now since I've joined Fairy Tail. It's frantic. Loud. Crazy. Dangerous. But, I guess if I had to admit it, it's been the most fun I've had for a while now!

We were part of this big incident with a Dark Guild called Eisenwald that were trying to take out all the guild masters. But me and my team were able to save the day without too much trouble. Not to say there wasn't trouble but...we handled it.

Natsu and Happy were still as annoying and weird as usual, but they definitely proved how competent they could be when the cards were down.

We also worked with another Fairy Tail member named Gray. He and Natsu don't really get along and he says that he's not nearly as bad as him but I realized that's not true. But he's pretty cool. And really strong. He just has this weird habit of taking off all his clothes and not even realizing it.

I also met one of the most famous members in the guild recently. Erza Scarlet! I remember reading all of the articles about her. How she was one of the youngest and strongest mages in the country. And how she helped fight in that big battle against Damnation. Honestly, I thought she would be a big burly woman who was super terrifying but she was actually a super pretty lady. She's still scary through, no argument there.

And there's Naruto. He's a pretty cool and laid back guy. He seems kinda lazy at first but then I saw him fight and I immediately understood why that guy is so famous. He's really strong. And when he fights, I don't think he holds back. But he's really nice to his friends and makes sure they're all safe. I just have to remember not to get on his bad side.

Apparently, Naruto and Erza are dating! I had no idea famous people like them were seeing each other!

I wonder if that happens a lot in the guild?

Anyway, we came back and found out that everyone from Eisenwald was arrested. Well, most of them at least. Turns out that Erigor, this creepy guy with a scythe, escaped before any of the authorities could come and arrest him. That terrifies me because both Natsu and Naruto beat up on that guy and he was still able to escape!

I really hope we don't meet that guy again.

Anyway, it might sound kind of bad, but I promise I'm doing fine. Don't worry about me.

And don't tell dad.

Love Lucy

The busty blonde newbie of Fairy Tail leaned back in her chair and stretched out her arms. She folded them behind her head and looked out the window in front of her and up at the clear blue skies. She felt the warm rays of the sun wash over her and moaned, "Ahhhhh~, I think today calls for a lazy day."

"Tell me about it. This place is pretty damn cozy for a newly bought apartment. And you said it was cheap too, right?"

"Ohhhhhhh~, you could melt into this bed."

"Sleepy time~."

Lucy froze before turning around to see the voices that were filling her apartment. Sitting in her comfy chair was the Maker Mage Gray, wearing nothing but his boxer's and lounging without a care in the world. And lying in her bed with dreamy looks on their faces were Naruto and Koyuki, resting side-by-side as they rested.

Lucy punched Gray in the face, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU PERVERT?!"

Gray grabbed his nose and groaned as Lucy turned around to either punch or kick the sleeping blond.

Naruto raised his hands, "Woah! Lucy! Don't encourage violence in front of the child!" Naruto covered Koyuki's eyes, "Koyuki, look away from the horror!"

Koyuki followed along with his act, "Onii-chan, I'm scared."

Lucy stared at them while her eyebrow twitched before she turned around with a huff and walked over to the desk. She looked back at the home invaders, "Why are you guys in my house? And why are you naked?!"

"Hey, calm down, all right." Gray said with his hands up to calm her down before he leaned back in the chair, "If you must know I already took my clothes off before we broke into your house. My clothes are somewhere out in the street or something."

"That doesn't comfort me. At all."

Naruto raised his hand, "I came here because we need to have one person looking out for him at all times. He gets in trouble because he's always walking around town naked."

Gray argued, "What? Not always."

"Gray, for all the years I've known you, you're naked 3/4ths of the time."

Lucy shook her head, "What's with you? Why are you always naked?"

Gray suddenly found himself attacked on both side, "What? I was just raised like that. It became a habit."

"Who the hell raises a kid to strip off all his clothes?"

"Oh, and you had a perfect childhood?"

Both blondes shrugged their shoulders, understanding that everyones' childhoods had different quirks that sunk in.

"Well it's been great that you guys could barge in and we could talk about Gray's stripping but this still feels weird. So..." Lucy pulled open her door and offered it to them, "If you'd be so kind as to leave."

Gray looked over at Naruto and shook his head, "I told you she forgot."

Naruto shrugged, "I thought she was smarter than that."

"I can't really blame her. It was a pretty hectic day so there's no way she could remember what happened before."

Lucy looked between them, "What? What are you guys talking about? What did I forget?"

Naruto smiled, "Don't you remember what Natsu and Erza agreed to before we all left?"

Lucy blinked, "Huh?"

Koyuki jumped up on the bed and cheered, "Battle!"

########Hunter########

The Fairy Tail members and other residents of Magnolia Town were gathering around in the street in front of the Fairy Tail guild. The street was bustling with conversation and lively expressions as they made a wide circle for the two mages in the center of the crowd.

Lisanna made her way through the crowd with a water bottle in hand. She tapped the pink-haired man's shoulder, "Here Natsu, keep hydrated."

Natsu turned around and grinned before he took the bottle, "Thanks Lisanna!" He started downing the whole bottle before wiping his mouth and handing it back to her, "Now it's time to get fired up!"

Lisanna nodded, "Do you have a battle strategy ready for the fight?"

"Yep! Punch as hard as I can and take her down!"

Lisanna sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose, "No Natsu. That's not a strategy."

Natsu stopped bouncing on his feet, "It's not?"

"No! Because that's the same thing you do all the other times you fought Erza!"

"This time it'll work! I'm stronger than I was before!"

"You said that the last three times as well! I nearly ran out of gauze and bandages!"

Natsu groaned and rubbed his temples. He rolled his eyes, "Okay, what about if I go for her legs or something? Trip her up?"

Lisanna nodded her head excitedly, "Yes! Good thinking! Keep working with your brain and you might come out of this relatively light!"

Natsu nodded before he held up his hand for a high-five. The youngest Strauss sibling eagerly high-fived him before making her way back into the crowd.

The Dragon-Slayer took a deep breath through his nose before slowly turning around to face his opponent. Standing across from him was the stern scarlet-haired knight in armor. Erza's arms were folded and she was waiting for call to fight her dear friend in a informal duel.

She opened her eyes to look up and see the serious look on Natsu's face. Their eyes met and the red-haired lady smiled, feeling eager at the chance to face the growing Dragon-Slayer. Natsu matched her smile with a big grin of his own.

Lucy pushed her way through the crowd, "What the heck is going on?! W-why are they fighting?!"

Gray followed up a few seconds later with Naruto bringing up the rear while carrying Koyuki. They stopped themselves, "Hey, did we miss anything?"

Elfman shook his head, "Nope. They've just been staring each other down with a manly spirit."

Lisanna hung her head, "I can't believe we're actually letting them fight."

Macao interjected, "I can't believe we ain't holding this fight in some bomb shelter a mile under ground! This is probably gonna end with at least half the town destroyed!"

Mira smiled, "I'm sure they can control themselves from causing too much trouble."

Naruto gave a disagreeing hum while lowering Koyuki to the floor, "I don't think so. Erza said she was pretty excited about this fight."

Koyuki jumped up, "Onee-chan said that she was gonna fight Natsu-niichan seriously!"

Happy flew up to their level, "Then get ready for a bloodshed!"

"B-but they can't really be fighting each other, right?" Lucy looked back at all the gather members, "They're friends, aren't they?"

"They can be friends and still fight!" Elfman said with a strong tone, "Their manly spirits call out to them to fight!"

Lucy raised an eyebrow, "But Erza isn't-"

Gray shook his head, "Don't. We tried explain it to him but nothing pierces that thick skull."

Lucy sweated a little, "But they're two of Fairy Tail's strongest mages, right? Won't it be dangerous for them to fight like that?"

The members around her all turned to her and stared at her in confusion. She felt all their gazes focus on her, "W-what?"

"What are you talking about them being the strongest?"

"Well, aren't they supposed to be among the strongest in the guild?"

"Pfft." Gray scoffed while some of the others just laughed, "Well that's a stupid lie. What blind and dumb idiot fed you that garbage?"

They got their answer when they heard some light sobbing and sniffling come from Mira as she covered her face. They all watched as the barmaid cried before all turning around and staring at Gray. The raven-haired man panicked, "O-oh, Mira, I-I didn't know it was you! Um-I didn't mean that! I didn't mean a single word!"

Mira wiped her eye, "I-I just thought that if they all worked together, t-then they would be really strong."

Elfman shook his head, "Well they're all pretty tough but I don't think they deserve the title of strongest."

Gray nodded, "I know I'm pretty strong but I'm sure I've still got a ways to go before reaching the strongest."

Levy said over her shoulder, "Although I don't think it's a mistake to say Erza is probably the strongest girl in the guild."

Lisanna nodded, "No argument here."

Mira rubbed her eyes before adding on, "What about Mahiro?"

"Good point. But she isn't an S-Class."

"Doesn't mean she can't hit like one."

"Hey Naruto, how strong do you think Mahiro is?"

Naruto thought for a moment, "Meh, probably somewhere alongside Gildarts for power."

"But I still think Gildarts is the strongest in the guild."

"Yeah but of the guys still here, I'd hate to admit it but Laxus would probably have to be the strongest."

"What about Mystogan?"

"Well we don't even know how strong he is because we've never seen him."

"Even so, he's an S-Class. So he's definitely up there for strongest in the guild."

"Uh-hum."

They looked towards Naruto as he scowled and glared back at them, "Aren't you forgetting someone? Cloak? Blond? Whiskers? Feeling pretty insulted without any mention of who the strongest in the guild is?"

They all looked between each other before humming, "Oh yeah, Naruto's pretty good too."

"Oh, pretty good?" Naruto asked incredulously while looking back at the Maker Mage, "There's an entire town of free space around us, want me to prove you wrong?"

Lucy's head was spinning, "I...I am so confused right now."

Mira turned back towards the two mages about to fight, "So, who do you think is going to win?"

"Erza."

"Erza."

"No competition. Erza."

"Erza always wins!"

"Happy!" Lisanna reprimanded as she pulled the blue cat down from his floating space, "Show Natsu a little support! He might actually do pretty well!"

"There's no denying that Natsu's got a manly, unyielding fire in his soul." Elfman said, "But Erza's a monster. No way getting around beating a monster."

"That's not true." Naruto countered with a shake of his head, "Just because you might be weaker than someone doesn't mean that victory is certain for them. Tricks. Skills. Friends. Seeing the arrogance behind their strength. Nothing is certain in a fight."

"Hey Naruto!" Cana called out over the crowd from her little makeshift bookie area, "How much were you putting on Erza again?"

"5000 jewels!"

"Got it."

All of his friends looked back at him and gave him a silent, questioning glare. He shrugged his shoulders with a grin, "Well, I mean usually you can't predict how a fight is gonna turn out. But Erza's totally gonna win."

Erza prepared herself for the fight, "Tell me Natsu, what brought on this abrupt need for a duel?"

"What do ya mean abrupt?!" Natsu yelled before pointing at the red-head, "I'm doin' this because it's been a long time coming! You used to kick my ass for just about everything! Now it's time I get some payback! No holding back!"

Erza smiled and nodded her head, "Very well..."

The armor clad woman's body was covered in light before her base armor changed into a red, black, and orange style instead. Her arms and legs were covered in body armor resembling dragon talons and she had a long red sword that touched the stone beneath her feet. Her red hair was done up into twin-ponytails and she had to a pair of wings protruding from the back. Erza gripped the sword and smiled at the pink-haired man, "I won't hold anything back."

Natsu smirked and engulfed his fists in flames before pounding them together.

Lucy looked between the two mages and shook in fear, "B-but the Master won't let them fight, right? It'd be too dangerous!"

And if waiting on cue, the short guild master came walking out into the middle of the space and looking between the fighters, "Okay, I want a good clean match. If you want to make a move but don't know if it's legal, just go with yer gut and hope for the best. And please, for the love of god, don't break too much shit."

He raised his hand in the air and everyone around went silent. A small wind passed around them and the two mages tensed their bodies for the next move.

Makarov threw his hand down before jumping out of the way.

Natsu sprinted off the ground with his fist on fire and slammed it against Erza's guarding blade. He immediately followed with a knee, another fist, and a wide hook kick towards her shoulder. But Erza blocked each attack with the blunt of her sword.

When Natsu's fist slammed against her blade she used the force of it to push him back and swing her sword at him. But Natsu ducked under the swipe and spun on his hands to throw two kicks at her with flames flowing off his legs.

Erza jumped over his attack and started manipulating his flames so they circled around her. She held her blade up and the flames started swirling around her sword before she brought it down on him. But Natsu spotted her counter and used the flames on his feet to propel him to the side and away from damage as fire started spreading out in every direction.

The audience took a few steps back and gasped in surprise before they started clapping and cheering at the amazing display.

Natsu kept perched close to the ground before launching himself forward and swung his whole arm, "Fire Dragon's Wing Attack!"

Erza manipulated the flames and jumped away before spinning on her heel and preparing to strike. Natsu turned around and puffed out his chest.

"HYAHHHH!"

"FIRE DRAGON'S ROAR!"

The two fire attacks collided with each other and a wave of brilliant flames scattered in every direction. After a moment, the fire died down and the two mages were standing across each other without a scratch on them. They lowered themselves into their respective stances and prepared for another round before dashing towards each other-

"Excuse me!"

Natsu and Erza stopped just short of contact and looked towards the location they heard the new voice call out to them. Walking through the crowd was a tall frog man wearing official garbs and a bag slung around his shoulder. He announced, "I am a messenger sent here from the Magic Council."

The people started to whisper and converse between themselves when they heard the frog man was sent here from the highest form of magical government.

He reached into his bag and pulled out an envelope, "I'm here today to issue the arrest for property damage and multiple other charges for...one Erza Scarlet..."

Erza blinked, "Huh?"

"What?!"

"What do you mean Erza's being arrested?!"

"What for?!"

The frog took a step forward, "I'm sorry Ms. Scarlet but I'm going to need you to come with me."

"Hey! Hey! Hold on!" Naruto came out of the crowd and stood in front of Erza defensively, "I don't know what's going on but you can't just take Erza for no reason! You have to at least tell us why!"

The frog man was silent for a second before he tilted his head, "Are you Naruto Uzumaki?"

Naruto was silent and looked back at Erza before raising an eyebrow in confusion, "Yeah. Why?"

The Council messenger pulled another envelope out of his bag and handed it to the blond, "You're under arrest as well."

Naruto took the envelope and looked it over, "Oh...crap."

########Hunter########

Naruto sat on a couch placed outside the doorway to the hall. He looked down at the cuffs restraining his hands and rotated his wrist as a few silent moments went on. He probably didn't need these cuffs, not that they really made any difference, but if the Council was calling him in for an arrest then he knew best not to argue and fight.

He and Erza had been separated at the gates. They would probably still be having the hearing together considering they were being charged with the same crime but they didn't want two influential S-Class mages in the same room together.

Naruto looked up at one of the guards watching over him, "Pssh. Hey man, do you know how much longer this is gonna take? Why are we just waiting here?"

The frog man answered with a professional tone, "We arrived in the middle of another trial being held at the moment. It should be done any second now and then we will move on to your hearing."

The massive door was nearly broken off its hinges after a powerful kick blew it open. Everyone was silent as a tall young man with long, spiky black hair swaggered his way out. He had studs pierced all over his face and arms and was wearing predominantly black colors. But something Naruto noticed first was the fact that on his right shoulder was a guild tattoo of what looked like a swirling purple staff.

The man with the piercings spat out angrily, "Stupid fucking geezers! Wasting my time every goddamn chance they can! Anymore of this bullshit and I'll bringing this whole fucking place down on its foundation."

He kicked the door in front of him and walked away. The waiting room was silent...

"I believe it's your turn now."

"Oh great."

Naruto stood out of his seat and was escorted down the familiar hallway towards the court. He took this moment to look around and feel a sense of nostalgia pass through him at the old building. Not fond nostalgia. Just nostalgia. Familiar surroundings. Familiar atmosphere. Familiar sterile air...

Oh, and familiar faces.

Leaning against one of the pillars directly in front of them was a gorgeous young lady wearing a white kimono with long dark-purple hair. She had lipstick on and she was causally playing with a teal orb resting in her palms.

The frogs immediately spotted her and fell to their knees, "Ultear-sama! W-what are you doing here?!"

"Relax everyone. I'm just here to greet our guest." She pushed herself off the structure and made her way over to the slightly taller blond with a sway in her hips. She stood in front of him, "Hello again, Naruto-San."

He gave a small smile and chuckled before looking at the kneeling people surrounding him, "So do they just do that whenever they see you or were they trained?"

"Just a bit of common courtesy actually." Ultear stated before tossing her orb in the air and letting it hover around her, "They don't want to make a member of the Magic Council mad. Or else there might be consequences to pay for."

"Speaking of mad Council members..." Naruto looked around expectantly, "Is Siegrain gonna pop up somewhere as well? I didn't think he would pass up a chance to come and humiliate me while my hands are tied like this."

"Unfortunately, Siegrain-sama can't come to see you. That's why I'm here in his place." Ultear looked towards him, "He had a distinct impression that you wouldn't want to face him after how your last encounter turned out."

Naruto tilted his head, "Okay, he's just as smart as I remember."

"I'll be sure to pass on the compliment."

Naruto sighed and looked at the aloof beauty, "All right, what's this all about?"

Ultear gave a cheeky smile, "Why do you think this has to be about something?"

"Because it's always something with the Council."

Ultear gave an agreeing hum before she placed a hand on his shoulder and started circling him, "Everyone is feeling a little anxious about the fact you were all able to apprehend such a formidable Dark Guild with very little consequence. And they're worried that you might think you can get off from any crimes of damages because of your actions."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Are you kidding? We never hear the end of them bitching. Of course we know we aren't beyond the reach of the Magic Council."

"Yes well they still like to make a show of power." Ultear made a full turn around him and looked up at the slightly taller man, "So they're just doing this to assure everyone that they still have control. A quick reading of charges, maybe a speech or two, and you and Titania will be on your way back home for your regularly scheduled bout of heroics."

Naruto was silent for a moment before narrowing his eyes, "There has to be more to it than that."

Ultear gave a knowing smile, "Why do you think there's something more going on behind the scenes?"

"Because there usually is."

"Nothing of the sort." Ultear turned on her feet and started walking away, "Just make sure not to cause too much trouble and this should all be over soon."

She then looked behind him and smiled, "Or do. Personally, I've always been more of a fan for trouble and antics."

Ultear's Thought Projection faded from existence and left the corridor quiet. The frog men stood back up and looked towards the whiskered blond, "You know Ultear-sama personally?"

Naruto shook his head, "Nope. Just some girl I fought with a few years back."

########Hunter########

"Will the defendants please take the stand."

The doors opened, revealing Erza and Naruto standing patiently while both of them were waiting for their entrance. They walked down the aisle towards the empty stand located directly in front of the Magic Council's bench.

Erza's eyes ran over the entire bench and she spotted several familiar faces. Multiple members of the Council she had seen before in other cases where she had to come to the Council building. Yajima was sitting quietly but he spotted the young lady look over at him and he gave a reassuring smile and nod. Sitting on the opposite side of the bench was Siegrain, lazily sitting back in his chair and probably just enjoying the entire spectacle happening before him.

He just seemed to satisfied with himself.

She finally looked at her side to see Naruto absentmindedly scratch at the fuzz around his chin. She made a small smile so no one would notice. She thought it was cute that he was trying to grow a beard to try and look more rugged like the older men in their guild. It itched when they kissed but it was something she could survive with.

Crawford announced, "Erza Scarlet. Naruto Uzumaki. Do you know why you stand here today?"

Erza nodded, "Yes sir."

Naruto sighed, "I think we have a pretty good idea."

"You stand here today for the damages, destruction, and vandalism of multiple government buildings and structures. Including the Oshibana train station, the canyon railway, the destruction of the mansion used for the regular meetings located in Clover, and several other damages."

"Um..." Naruto raised his hand and got their attention. He stated in a matter-of-fact, "We only actually destroyed half of the mansion. The rest of it fell over by itself. So shouldn't we only be charged with partial destruction?"

A few of the members sighed at his question while Siegrain and Ultear were visibly laughing at his statement.

Erza elbowed her boyfriend in the side and he stumbled a little. He looked at her in confusion, "What?"

She sent him a glare and whispered loudly, "We can't be charged for 'partial destruction' of government property stupid!"

"But it wasn't totally our fault! Putting aside the Lullaby thing, if it fell over after that then that's a problem with how it was built. Blame the carpenter."

Erza sighed and shook her head, "The Magic Council isn't going to send a complaint and arrest for a carpenter. And they aren't going to charge us with partial destruction!"

"Actually..." Yajima garnered everyone's attention, "This has been a topic we've been discussing for a few hours now."

Erza looked up at them in disbelief as Naruto cheered, "Haha, I was right!"

"No you are not right!" Michello argued from his spot, "You are still being charged with that destruction!"

"Oh come on."

Siegrain smirked, "He's right. It's not exactly fair to punish them for something the demon flute did while falling backwards. Why don't we unwrap its bindings and charge it with the damages?"

"Are you out of your mind you fool?!"

"I was joking. Just wanted to see if you really didn't have any sense of humor after all these years. Apparently I was right."

"Why you-"

"Enough!" Crawford yelled with a resounding tone that stopped everyone from continuing their banter. He sat back down, "We are here to hold a trial. If all of you are done bickering, we may contiune."

Everyone was silent and even Naruto stood back straight and coughed in his hand before staying silent. Crawford nodded, "Good. Now then-"

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*

One section of he wall behind them exploded and completely wrecked the concrete and door. Everyone looked back in shock as a cloud of black smoke started settling around the large room.

Was someone attacking them? Taking this chance at the trail to try and destroy the building.

A figure started making their way through the smoke and laughed, "Hahaha, and I thought you guys in the Magic Council were pretty competent! But I guess you were wrong! Considering you got the wrong person so easily..."

From the dust emerged Natsu, dressed in a spare piece of armor he had taken from a store in Magnolia. He was also wearing a blue skirt, black boots, and a red wig he had haphazardly thrown over his head while strands of pink hair were poking out. Several frog men came running up behind him before he yelled with fire shooting out of his mouth, "I AM THE REAL ERZA SCARLET! FEAR ME! I'M THE REAL CULPRIT!"

Everyone watched with stark white eyes as the pink-haired man ran around and spit fire in every direction. Erza was completely baffled by the scene happening before her and even Naruto was caught off guard by Natsu's stupid action.

Until he realized how funny it was and covered his mouth to stifle the laughter.

Erza looked towards him and glared but he couldn't stop laughing . He choked, "I-I'm sorry Erza, but...but I can't-pfffftttt."

Naruto continued to contain his laughter as Siegrain chuckled into his hand and Ultear tried to cover her giggles with her sleeve.

Natsu then pulled out a rope tied to the back of his skirt and showed it to everyone, "BUT I'M NOT ALONE!"

He pulled on the rope and they heard squeaky wheels start rolling over the marble floor. Another figure emerged from the smoke, this one not even remotely similar to the person they were trying to imitate.

On top of a rolling platform were two barrels stacked on top of each other. Standing on top of them with a black blanket wrapped around his body and draping off the side was Happy. He had narrow eyes and a yellow handkerchief placed on top of his head. He yelled, "I am Naruto Uzumaki! Fear my whiskers and tremble at my tallness!"

Naruto's laughter died instantly and he stared at the scene with his eyes covered by his hair.

Happy continued to yell, "How many people do you know with whiskers?! I am the one and only Naruto!"

"AND I'M ERZA! WATCH ME WRECK SHIT AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF PEOPLE!" Natsu turned around towards the frog men trying to sneak up on him and pounced. He held one of them over his head and tossed him away towards a group of his coworkers. Natsu cheered, "Yeah!"

Happy looked over at his best friend, "Natsu, Erza uses a weapon! Wave something around!"

"Oh shit, you're right!" Natsu looked for something to use before he ripped off one of the wooden planks in Happy's barrel and started using it to break chairs. The two morons contiuned wrecking havoc before Natsu pointed at the Council, "HA! See! I'd like to see you try and catch the real Erza Scarlet now!"

...

Crawford slammed the gavel, "Put them all in jail for the night."

########Hunter########

The jail door slammed shut and Natsu grabbed the bars, "ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME?! LET US OUT DAMMIT!"

Happy sat down in the corner and pouted, "I never thought I would be watching the rest of my life pass by from the other side of the bars. Natsu I kinda expected but I didn't think it would happen to me."

"Why do you think I'm gonna spend my life in prison?! And you two!" Natsu pointed to the two people sitting across from him while they hung their heads with a sullen atmosphere around them. He yelled, "Why didn't you two say anything?! Actually, why the hell did you let them take you away in the first place?! You didn't do anything wrong!"

Erza poked her head out of her arms and glared, "You idiot."

"Huh?"

"We know we didn't do anything wrong. The Council knows we didn't do anything wrong. They just brought us in as a show that they still had influence over what happens in the kingdom. So other guilds wouldn't think they could get away with just about anything."

Happy and Natsu looked between each other and tilted their heads, "Huh?

"They would have read the charges, told us to be careful, something like a slap-on-the-wrist, and then we would have been home before the sunset." Erza glared and her eyebrow twitched, "But then you idiots barged in and screwed everything up royally."

Natsu and Happy were silent for a moment before they sweated and leaned back, "O-oh."

"S-see, we didn't know that."

"And on that matter, what was that exactly?" Erza crawled over and grabbed Natsu's collar before glaring at him, "'I'm Erza Scarlet. Watch me break shit and beat the crap out of people.' Care to explain yourself?"

Natsu stuttered at the tone in her voice, "I-I had to make it convincing."

"And that's how you see me?"

"N-no ma'am!"

"I don't see why you are complaining." They all looked over at Naruto's grieving form as he had his head hidden in his arms. He spoke dejectedly, "Transgender dressing. Breaking things while storming into a government building. Trying to get some insults in while you were yelling. It doesn't matter. Because at least you got to be portrayed by a person. While I...got stuck...WITH A CAT!"

They all looked at Happy as he thought for a minute before raising his paw, "I thought I did a good job of playing Naruto."

Naruto glared at Natsu, "WHY DID YOU BRING HIM?!"

Natsu shrugged his shoulders, "I needed someone to act as you and I thought Happy was the best choice."

"Happy was the best choice?!" Naruto asked with a vein in his head, "Not Elfman?! Gray?! Loke?! Laxus?! Hell, Mira?! Why Happy?!"

Natsu and Happy were silent for a moment before the pink-haired man pointed at the cat's face, "He has whiskers."

"Whiskers?! That's all it takes to imitate me?!" Naruto seethed in anger before he fell back down against a wall and groaned before shaking his head, "I hate you. So much."

Natsu scowled before sitting against the wall and looking around before groaning, "I'm hungry."

Erza sat back and moved some hair out of her eyes, "We're all hungry Natsu. They'll give us dinner in a few hours so just bear with it until then."

"But we're hungry now~." Happy moaned before looking up at Natsu, "What are we gonna do for the next few hours until we eat? Sleep?"

Natsu looked around, "It is pretty dark in here."

"But I'm not sleepy."

"Me either."

"Oh okay, I think I've got something to help you guys with that." Naruto said as he stood up and walked over to their side. Naruto grabbed Happy's and Natsu's head before he slammed them together. The Dragon-Slayer and flying cat moaned in pain before they passed out and started sleeping on the floor.

Naruto sat back against the wall and scowled, "Idiots. I bet even I could've thought of a better way to get us out of here. Now we're stuck in here till morning."

"Yeah." Erza looked at her sleeping friends across from her before smiling and looking towards Naruto, "It might have been idiotic, but it's the thought that counts."

"The thought of a dumbass." Naruto chuckled a little and looked at her, "Hell, I'm an idiot, and even I thought this plan was stupid." He saw Erza smiling face and couldn't help but chuckle while scratching his head, "Okay, it was pretty cool that they came to help us. I just really wish they didn't substitute me for a cat."

"You should have seen your face."

"My face? You should have seen your face. When Natsu came running in with a skirt and wig you just completely crashed."

The two lovers laughed between each other as they sat in the jail cell. Naruto sighed and looked up at the ceiling, "What are we supposed to do until the morning?"

"I don't know about you but I think they had the right idea." Erza adjusted her sitting position until she was leaning more against Naruto and rested her head on his shoulder, "I'm going to take a little nap."

Naruto looked at the girl leaning against him like a pillow and narrowed his eyes, "What about me? What am I gonna do while you sleep?"

"Try sleeping to. This will all be over quicker if we just close our eyes."

Naruto grumbled and felt Erza slowly relax into his arm. He looked down to see her with her eyes shut and quietly breathing while nuzzling into his side. He then looked up to see Happy and Natsu somehow cuddling together and snoring loudly.

He sighed before deciding to follow in their lead. He sat back a little, leaned his head back and a little against Erza's, and shut his eyes for a quick nap.

Down the walkway stood a figure, quietly staring at the jail cell full of sleeping Fairies. He smirked before walking away and back into his chamber.

########Hunter########

Siegrain opened the large doors to his chamber and walked in to see Ultear lazily siting across the seat of his chair. Her legs hung off the side while she spun her orb in hand before she noticed the blue-haired man return. She stopped spinning her orb, "So, what were they all doing?"

"Sleeping, if you would believe it. Like there wasn't a care in the world." Siegrain sat in the chair opposite her and looked back down at the game of chess that was already in process. He leaned forward in a thinking posture, "It's actually quite enviable how they can relax so easily."

"Well I'm glad you seem to be envying the Fairies. But if I'm forced to work then you're forced to work as well." Ultear sat up and stood out of the chair before handing him a file on the table, "Here. Everything you wanted to know about the situation on Galuna Island."

Siegrain took the file and started flipping through it, looking at the pictures of several men and women dressed up in strange garments. But the most important image was one of a massive demon, mouth open like it was roaring out in agony and completely encased by ice. Siegrain nodded, "How much longer do you think it will take before they unfreeze Deliora?"

"A few days. A week at most. Just a little more Moon Drip and the shell should start melting away." Ultear sat on the armrest and looked over his shoulder, "Once they release the demon and kill themselves fighting it, I'll use the spell you gave me and take control of it. What are you going to do with it once you gain control?"

"Perhaps I'll keep it around as extra muscle until the time the Tower is complete. It couldn't hurt to have a trace of Zeref's magic to use when we're resurrecting him." Siegrain sat back in his chair and placed the file to the side before looking back at the chess game, "I actually feel quite cruel in making you take this task upon yourself. There is no worse task than asking a child to erase the existence of their own parent."

Ultear scoffed, "I'm grateful for your sympathy but it is wasted on that woman. I've told you before that she barely counted as a mother and she was a failure as a person. As far as I'm concerned you only asked me to go on a job that requires me to melt ice."

Siegrain looked up at his partner and gave her a mildly amused look, "My, you're quite warped in your way, aren't you?"

"Like you're one to talk. This was just how I survived." Ultear stood up and walked over to the window and looked outside at the setting sun. She sat against the windowsill and held her orb in her hand, "We're almost to the end. Zeref's resurrection is just around the corner, and with it, a brand new world."

"The field has been set. The players are taking their positions." Siegrain reset the chess board and clasped his hands together in thought, "Now all that's left is to play the game."

"Goodness Seigrain-sama, where might I be on that board? A Queen? A Knight? Or just a little Pawn you'll toss aside when the time comes?"

"Your position on this board is entirely up to you, Ultear. Whether you want to be a piece that sets up everything to happen or a pillar that changes this very world is something you can choose yourself." He reached over and gently tapped the black pieces of his opponent, "The resistance has already started forming their ranks. The legal guilds. The Rune Knights. The Magic Council. No doubt that Fairy Tail will become a problem while we're trying to apprehend the final piece."

"Yet they're still just pieces in the game. All of them planned for and calculated."

Siegrain was silent for a moment before shaking his head, "No. Not all of them are just pieces."

Ultear stopped spinning her orb before looking over at the blue-haired Wizard Saint, "Oh?"

"In the wide spectrum of how this all plays out, the only other person I could consider as a player would have to be Naruto."

Ultear was quite surprised by his answer before showing interest in his choice of nemesis. She titled her head, "Really? He doesn't exactly strike me as someone who would match you in an intellectual bout."

"He's not. He can't plan ahead for errors or fail-safes. He isn't capable of guiding people or using them for his advantage. He doesn't even know that he's a part of this game. But everywhere he goes it's like he throws a wrench into the system. He plays every move with his life on the line and somehow comes out to tell the tale. When it comes to the End Game and the last moves need to be made..."

Siegrain looked up at the seat across from him and stared at the super-imposed image of Naruto sitting in the chair. He lowered his hands, "He'll be the last obstacle to break before the new world can come to fruition."

He reached over and grabbed the King piece across from him before running his fingers over it, "The Hero's pain and work will finally come to light. The Savior will bring an end to this world and usher in a new paradise. And all of this will be complete..."

He crushed the black piece in his hand until it was nothing but dust.

"When I bring an end to The Villain and his false world."

########Omake: Teach Us Mira-sensei########

"Hi there everyone~!" The beautiful white-haired woman appeared wearing a lab coat and a pair of glass on the bridge of her nose. She winked at the camera, "Are you all ready for another lesson~?"

Someone played stock audio of a crowd cheering.

"Today, our experimenter is one Naruto Uzumaki."

A light shined down from overhead to reveal the whiskered blond sitting in a chair by himself. He looked around, "Why am I here?"

"And my assistant for this experiment, Lucy Heartfilia."

Another light shined down and revealed that sitting right besides Naruto was Lucy. She looked around in confusion, "Why am I here?!"

Mira smiled and spoke with a cute tone, "Let's all give a big hand to our friends helping us today with our experiment~."

Naruto stared at her, "Mira, what's going on? You just told me to take a seat and do whatever it is you say?"

"Me too!" Lucy looked up at the model in worry, "Mira-San, why did you tell me to be the 'control' in this experiment?"

Mira ignored them and turned back to the camera, "Now everyone, don't try this at home. What we're going to do today is dangerous and may cause injury if you don't have the right preparation."

"Say what?"

"Can I please not do whatever this is?!"

Mira stood back up and smiled, "Luckily for us we have people here today to make sure things don't get too crazy. Let's all give a big hand to our volunteers."

Mira motioned to the side to reveal Natsu, Gray, Erza, Elfman, and Haply all dressed up in black suits with sunglasses. They were standing still and prepared for anything.

Natsu touched his ear, "Eagle 2, this is Eagle 1, all things clear on my side. How's yours look, over?"

Gray, right besides him, touched his ear, "Eagle 1, all clear on my end, over."

Naruto's eye was twitching, "What are you idiots doing?"

Erza touched her ear, "Mira told us what she was planning to do so we prepared ourselves for what might happen, over."

Elfman touched his ear, "I may have failed the first time I experienced it but as a man I won't screw up this time, over."

Happy touched his ear, "Aye sir, over."

Lucy eyes were wide as plates and she was shivering, "I-I'm so frightened right now."

Mira threw her hands up in the air, "Today's experiment is..."

The lights turned on to reveal a table in front of the two blondes. It was covered with...

A multitude of alcohol and liquor.

"How do different alcohols affect a certain blond male Fairy of ours?"

Naruto and Lucy stared at the table. Then they looked between each other and blinked before looking back at the table. Naruto smiled and shrugged his shoulders and reached for a bottle, "I'm just drinking? Is that it? I take back everything I said about this silly game."

Lucy watched Naruto pop the lid of a bottle before pouring it into a cup for him to drink. She turned towards the scientist in charge of the experiment, "Mira-San, am I supposed to be drinking too or-"

"Now as you can see, the subject is blissfully unaware of his condition while intoxicated. As such, while he consumes the alcohol, we will see how his behavior affects our non-intoxicated subject, our control."

Lucy blinked, "Wait, what?"

Beer:

Naruto was swaying in his seat with a stupid smile on his face with random hiccups every few seconds. Lucy stared at the now drunken blond after a good twenty minutes of drinking. She leaned back in her seat and looked towards the camera, "I-is he gonna be okay?"

"Please do not talk directly into the camera."

"Heeeeeeeeeeeey, Lucy!" Naruto threw an arm over the girl's shoulder and caused her to yelp before he held his drink up, "Wanna quick swig~? I betcha'll like it."

Lucy shook her head, "N-no thanks."

"Nonsense!" Naruto stuffed the bottle in her mouth and Lucy's eyes became white like plates as she waved her arms in protest. He pulled the bottle back and she fell out of her chair coughing before he laughed, "Atta girl!"

Lucy coughed up some beer with a tear in the side of her eye before she looked up at the other people with her, "Why are we doing this?!"

"Don't worry Lucy, we're ready to abandon this place for safety at any moment."

All her friends dressed in suits were crouching and ready to run at any moment while covering Mira at all sides.

Whiskey:

Naruto stopped drinking from the whiskey bottle and wiped his nose before whimpering, "A-and then, after a whole day at work, I-I came to the guild, I asked for a bowl of ramen, a-a-and there wasn't any left! I-I couldn't blame Mira because she's so nice and she works so hard but still, I-I was so sad~."

Lucy was really surprised by his personality change from quirky and happy to sad and melancholic. She patted his back, "T-there there. It's okay."

"T-thank you." Naruto was about to take another drink of his bottle but it fell out of his hand and rolled on the floor. He slumped back in his chair and started sliding out of it, "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~."

Lucy looked back at all of them, "Is this normal?"

Erza nodded her head, "Something about whiskey just makes him sad. Keep an open ear and he should be fine."

Mira wrote away on her clipboard, "Buy. Surplus. Of. Ramen."

Tequila:

"What the hell are you looking at?"

Lucy shrank back, "N-nothing."

Naruto scowled, "I know you're lying. You're looking straight at me."

"Y-you told me to."

Naruto stood out of his seat and got in her face, "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I-I'm Lucy."

"Liar! I know Lucy! She's a nice girl with blonde hair and keys! You think you could be Lucy?!"

"I-I told you I'm Lucy!"

"Who the hell is Lucy?!"

Gray and Natsu came in at the sides and retrained his arms as he started jerking around, "Hey! Who the hell are you guys?! Let me go you sonuva-"

Elfman came flying in and slammed squarely into Naruto's form, pinning them all on the floor.

Lucy shook in her seat and fixed her hair, "I-I'm starting to really regret this decision."

Scotch:

Naruto calmly took a sip of his glass and sat back in his chair. He looked up to see Lucy, Mira, and everyone else staring at him expectantly. He raised an eyebrow and spoke with an uninterested tone, "What?"

"Are...you feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You seem...sober? How is that possible? You drank...like...a bar."

Naruto shrugged his shoulder and swirled the drink in his hand, "Maybe I just came full circle. I don't feel any different."

Everyone blinked in surprise and looked between each other. Lucy ran a hand through her hair, "Well, that's unexpected."

"Yeah. Almost as unexpected as you saying that in order to make rent this week you were thinking of taking that candy-gram job where you go to someone's house and give them a kiss on the cheek."

...

Lucy blushed, "W-what?"

"Remember? That's what you told me when we met up in the middle of the street."

"I-I told you to keep that a secret! W-why are you saying that now?!"

Naruto gave an indifferent shrug and continued drinking.

Mira hummed and looked at her clipboard, "It appears that when he drinks scotch, he doesn't have the ability to contain secrets anymore. So he-"

"Once Elfman took a job where he went to a little girl's birthday party and dressed up like a fairy princess."

They all looked at the largest man there as his jaw was completely slacked. They all snickered under their breath.

Gray composed himself, "Well Elfman, I had no idea you were into that kind of stuff. Maybe-"

"Gray was once mistaken for a male stripper while walking in front of a lady's dance club half-naked. They grabbed him, forced him on stage, and he said it was one of the best paying jobs he ever got. He still sometimes goes back for an easy buck under the name Icy Dazzletush."

Gray went pale as his biggest secret was revealed to everyone.

Naruto looked down in his glass, "It's all right man, people do a lot for their jobs. Erza told me she was doing something that required her to wear a suit today so she asked to borrow a pair of my boxer's to get into the mindset."

Mira looked over at Erza in surprise as the beautiful red-head avoided her gaze.

"I got interested in the idea so I switched underwear with her. I'm wearing a black thong right now."

Mira jumped in front of the camera, "Okay, that's enough for today! I hope you all had a fun time with us today and I hope you all learned that-"

"Mira's only doing this because she feels insecure after Jenny Realight told her she's all boobs and no brain."

"Turn off the camera! Turn off the camera! Turn off-"

*Bzzt*

########Hunter########

Done

Must do more work. Must get more chapters out.

Must. Finish. Part 3. Before. End. Of. Year.

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