P.I.S.S.O.F.F.
Ch 5
ISDH
121
"Harry Potter"
"On my mark." Hermione whispered.
Harry stood, having sat with his back to the Center isle, so he now was the center of attention, at the center of the Hall. "This one is for you, Dad… Prongs." he whispered. Raising his wand in his right hand, "I, Harry James Potter, do by swear on my Magic, I did not enter, nor ask anyone to enter my name for selection, by my will, so mote it be." a flare of Azure, flashed as Magic sealed the Oath, 'Expecto Patronum'
A silver Stag burst from his wand, flinging it's biblical rack in the air, as it pranced about the Hall. As it stepped before it's Caster, it bowed it's head, before raring on it's hind legs… and exploding. In its place stood a skeletal horse with batlike wings. This new form 'nuzzled' Potter, before fading away.
"Seeing as I did not enter, Do I have to compete?" Harry asked the Hall at Large.
"The Goblet chose you." the man identified as Barty Crouch spoke up. "You are a Champion."
"Now just a bloody minute here!" Igor Karkaroff bellowed, "How does Hogwarts get two Champions?"
"She doesn't." Harry answered over the other Adults. "Headmistress McGonagall, I have bad news, I am afraid. I was warned that this might happen, and so I took steps." Harry approached the Head Table, pulling a pack of forms from his inside breast pocket. "This is my notice that I am no longer a student of Hogwarts, as the Rules clearly state 'One Champion per School'. He handed her the folded parchment. Once it was in her Hand, he shrugged off the black cloak, revealing his white robes, the snowy owl perched on a crystal ball, surrounded by the words
POTTER INSTITUTE of SPELLS AND SORCERY
OCCULTISM FAMILIARS and FOCI
Of course the back of his robes got a Roar from the Table of the Brave, a Gasp from the Table of the Loyal, a snort from the Table of the Curious, and a hiss from the 'Cunning'
Pulling the next packet from his pocket, "Now Headmistress, My School will be needing accommodations. I was told that the old 'Lords Wing' will do, There are only three… no, there are four of us tonight."
"Harry, My boy…" Albus closed on Harry's left hand side, "...you are talking nonsense. You will of course remain with your housemates in the tower."
"Albus, my host…" Harry grinned at the Headmaster, as the old wizard flinched at the greeting. "Would love to, but the Student rulebook states that only members of a House may stay in said House without permission of the Headmaster."
"And I am giving it to you." Albus was Piety itself.
"Ah, yes, but You are no longer my Headmaster."
"Mark."
"And just who is…" Albus was interrupted by the Great Hall Doors being flung open, as Sirius Black and Remus Lupin strutted into the Great Hall.
"BLACK!" Shouted Fudge, cowering behind Umbridge.
"That is Headmaster Black to you!" the fugitive grinned as he picked at his Robes, before frowning and turning to Lupin, "Did we have to wear these, they do nothing for my complection."
"Only during Ceremonial occasions." Lupin slouched two feet away, grinning just to be back. "You can take them off when we get to our rooms. And only put them on, for Official Potter Institute Business."
"Okay." Looking about, seeing half of the teachers, and most of the Ministry Personnel had wands drawn on him, "So, is this the Word of the Great Albus W.P.B. Dumbledor is worth, now?" He held his hands up, empty, "I was under the impression that Headmasters were Asylumed until the Turny was complete."
"Properly accredited Headmasters." Director Bones hissed.
"Ah, that is if I was a teacher." Black swung his hands to behind his back, "As an administer of the School, and Friend of the School's Founder, James Potter, I just have to prove that the books are in order...to our Government." He turned his roguish smile on Bones, "Now Ami, I know I was a bad dog, leaving our date like that, but I thought you atleast would ask questions before firing curses at me, or are you part of my assassination plan?"
"There is no Assassination Plan!" screamed Umbridge, "Just good people trying to protect Society from the likes of you!"
"What did he do?" Harry asked, glaring at the Toadish witch, "What did he do, that warranted him being denied a trial, and sent to that Hellhole?" Turning to glare at the Director, "Have You found anything?"
"What's going on?" Cedric yelled, drawing every eye to him and the other two Champions, "We were waiting, but all we heard was yelling…" he then noticed the three dressed in white… "Shit, Harry. Did you get chosen too?"
"Yeap." Harry plucked at his robes, "Just not for Hogwarts."
"Twins?" the Hufflepuff seeker turned to the two redheads, against the wall.
Fred handed a packet of Parchment to George, before bringing up his Ledger, "Had Potter won for Hogwarts, a Gallion would earn you a sickle…" George handed two folded packets to McGonagall, and as he stepped back to his twin's side. "But only three people bet that he would be chosen… not for Hogwarts. Their Gallion gets them … Ten, each." He tucked the ledger into his robe, causing his cloak to fall to the floor, George's not a second behind it. Both wearing P.I. white robes.
"Sorry Headmistress," Harry ran his hand through his hair. "Looks like our number is upto six, now."
Cedric grinned, "Sweet." Rubbing his hands together, "Jackpot!"
"Headmaster, what is going on here?" Fudge demanded, stepping away from his shield-toad…
"I do believe we are being pranked." Albus eased himself into his throne like chair. "And quite the set up, if I am reading things properly. Potter here, heard about the tournament, and 'learned' that his name would be chosen. Because Igor needed certain protections, a blanket Sanctuary is in effect on these grounds. Potter spun a school out of thin air, hired these two," he waved his hand at the two Adults in white, "and now has Seven Months to reconnect with his Father's friends."
"Close sir." Harry pulled a scroll from otherside inside pocket. Handing it to Bones. "Potter Institute is a real school, with two campuses, one this side of the Triangle, and one in Greenland. While listening to Lupin talk about my Father, I noticed that He and the Headmaster taught many of the underclassmen about things most Wizards take for granted. Things that I knew nothing about until my third year." Harry shrugged, "besides, due to a meddling old fool, I can not even access my House Accounts until I am of age."
"So how do you have…" Fudge pushed in,
"Inheritances from old men, willing them to me, to avoid them going to Family or the Ministry." Harry pulled a pockwatch from his pocket, "I even hold the line to six noble Houses, just to keep them from those who would abuse them.
"Aurors, stand down." Bones sheathed her wand, "Headmaster Black, you are bound by Law and Magic, to remain on Hogwarts Grounds, any attempt to leave, breaks your Sanctuary, but I ask that you Defend this Castle as you would your Institute."
"No!" Umbridge snarled, "Kill him and the bloody wolf. We do not need their kind here!" Her pudgy fist pounding the table, "Remove them and their abominations from our…"
'Stupify.' The squeaky voice of the Charms Master cut off the Pink Horror. "Sorry, but Hogwarts Sanctuary is above Ministry Law, and given the … woman's views, something had to give."
"Noted." Bones smirked, "Dawlish, escort the Undersecitaury back to the Ministry. Room three, I believe. Her reactions to Black, and this 'Assassination Plan' sits wrong in my craw." Turning to look at Dawlish, "Oh, and John, if she is not there when I get there, you will face my ...displeasure."
"Now see here!" Fudge moved to defend his minion… until the glass of Bones' Monocle flashed in his direction.
"Now, Minster, you would not be interfering with a DMLE investigation, would you?" Her face was like carved stone, "That would put you in the chair next to her…"
"Not at this time." Fudge backed away.
"Okay…" Harry looked at his pocket watch, "Now, can we get back to the reason we are here?"
"McGonagall." Luna stepped up beside Harry, "I need to give you this." Another folded pack of Parchment was pushed on her, "Duel Master, I have enjoyed your Classes, but I find your House to be lacking. Professor Lupin has helped where you either could not, or would not."
Flitwick raised an eyebrow, "Sorry to lose a bright mind like your Miss Lovegood. You certainly put a smile on my face." An eye washed over his House, seeing a few bowed heads, he nodded to himself.
"Okay." Bagman bounced forward, "Four Champions, for Four Schools. The first Task will be on the 22nd, and as it is a test of Skill and Bravery in the Face of the Unknown, that is all We will be telling you."
"You forgot the Wand Weighing Ceremony." Crouch grunted. "It will be the week before." He nodded to Bones, "Come Bagman, let's leave the Headmasters to clean up this mess."
Bagman cheerfully waved to everyone as he followed the sour faced Director out.
"Rita Skeeter, Daily Profit." the acid green glasses wearing blond popped by Harry, "A moment of your time…"
"Sorry Miss Skeeter," Harry grinned back. "I signed a contract with the Quibbler. If you are wanting anything not given in a press release, press conference, or Public Forum, you will need to alter your bi-line. As I am tired, from all the excitement," Harry turned to McGonagall, "Headmistress, shall we see to our new quarters? It will give Director Bones a few minutes to soften up Albus, before you turn him into your new favorite scratching post."
McGonagall nodded as she led the way from the Great Hall. Once past the Doors she called for her elf, "Tocky!"
"Miss Kitty called?" the elf that appeared at her knee, as she strode to and up the stairs, wore a length of tartan cloth matching her skirts, slung over the left shoulder and tied at the waist, giving the impression of wear a kilt.
"I need the Lord's wing opened, and prepared. It seems we are Hosting a fourth School." the unamused Headmistress spoke. "It also seems that these students need their things collected from the dorms and delivered."
"All be done." the elf popped away.
"Minnie," Black spoke softly, as they created the third floor, before turning North. "You are welcome to visit...anytime. I will even swear a magical oath, to answer any question truthfully...for the night… in our quarters or your office." He grinned at her, "you will need to bring the whiskey, though. I can not leave the grounds."
McGonagall glared at her former student, before snorting. "Friday, after classes." She turned down a richly carpeted hallway.
Tocky was waiting for them. "Rooms be ready." He waved at the rooms on his left, "Headmaster and Professor here. Room reinforced, for moon nights." to the right, "Ladies here."
"Only female student…" McGonagall began, before glaring at Harry. "Granger?"
"Yes." Harry sighed, "Jordan too. No one else is planned. Not taking Ron nor Ginny, as they are needed if you are going to keep that Cup in your office. Which reminds me, I will need you there at the common room tomorrow after dinner. My last duty as Team Captain."
Tocky moved back one doorway. Waving left, "Twins and friend here. Two bunk beds in larger room, other converted into lab. Normal Lab for Hoggy Students only." Waving Right, "Champion here. Other room turned into Spell training." Tocky bowed. "Only You can open these doors. Elf magic imprinted your magic to the locks. You can enter each other's Quarters, except only Adults in females, and by invite to Adults." He nodded. "You have two elves, yes. Cuppi and Ticky serve as keepers. Please use as needed." He popped away.
"You will sit at the Gryffindor table when you join us for meals." McGonagall spoke, her brogue starting to show, "That way each table has claim to a champion. You only must sit there during Official Tournament Functions. Now if you will excuse me…" the Deputy Headmistress strode off to ream the bearded fool verbally.