P.I.S.S.O.F.F.
15
ISDH
121
Bones had just sat across from Diggory, her niece beside her, with Hannah on the girl's other side. Most of everybody was already in place…
Two Witches stood near the Table that was Hosting the 'Potter Institute', but had yet to sit. When Ameila pointed them out, it was revealed that they were former Slythren, and to sit at the Gryffindor table without at least Granger was just asking for trouble.
Then the sound of kazoos heralding the coming of the Chaos that was the PI, filled the Halls. Headmaster Black strutted in, just as he used to when he was a student here. Behind him were Arthur's twins and a Black kid, sounding kazoos as they goose-stepped in the Headmaster's wake. Lupin and Granger took one look at the shocked face of Daphne Greengrass and the look of Awe on Tracy Davis, before quickly pulling the two into a huddle at the end of the Table.
All fell silent as every head turned to the Doors. One Student was not present...yet. Considering that Potter was at the center of this whole thing, everyone was on the edge of standing…
A Black Gryphon pranced into the Hall, the Blond witch perched on it's shoulders. The only sound in the Hall was the tic-ticing of its talons on the flagstones. The Witch was delivered to the bench where she, unhappily, dismounted. The Gryphon leaped to the table and, with 'his' Wings flung wide, Rared onto his hind legs and Roared… as the 'Black' was peeled back to Show...
Harry Potter in his White PI robes, roaring at the ceiling.
Harry looked about at everyone in white. "Two more, and we Have a Quidditch team!" He jumped from the Table to the floor.
"Mister Potter!" the warm tones of Hogwarts' Headmaster carried over the Hall. "There are a few things I need to call you on!" Every head now turned to stare at the Greybeard in Purple Robes. "You will need to Surrender your Rings to me, and submit to having that dangerous form bound."
Ameila tensed, ready to stand, when Sue placed a hand on her Arm. "Watch. Potter has changed this Year."
"Alby." Harry actually purred, as he slinked to the center of the Hall. "I do believe you have overplayed your hand. What gives you the Right to declare my Animagus form Dangerous? What Right do you have to try to bind it?"
"I am the Headmaster of Hogwarts!" his first Card, lowest of the trump suit.
"That might mean something if I still went to Hogwarts." a deep rumble centered in the Lad's chest.
"I am your Magical Guardian!" his second card, higher rank, but still a trump.
"By whose Authority?" a crooked grin merged, showing new teeth within.
"The Wizengamot! They granted the position of Guardian to the Heir of Potter!"
"Director Bones!" Harry swiveled his shoulders to look at the Ministry Law Enforcer. "Does the 'Mot have that Power?" and she could see the light dancing in his eyes. His Father had the same tell. Lights danced in their eyes when they were pranking or 'taking the piss' on someone, and now the Lad was inviting her to play.
With the grace of a showgirl half her age, the Director stood. "Not unless your parents never wrote out a Will" She let the whole Hall sit in silence for a count of three, as the oldman, thinking he had won, grinned. "But as you and I both know, James Potter had a Will." She turned to Glare at Black. "It is to be the First Step of putting Black where He Belongs."
All eyes in the Hall locked onto Albus Dumbledor, Headmaster of Hogwarts.
"So why was the Will never Read?" Harry smirked at the Headmaster, preening before the Masses.
"They were Sealed." Snape Snarled from the Far side of the Table. "The Chief Warlock of the Time had it Done to, and I quote, 'Protect the Heir from Members of our very Society that seek to do him Harm.' Harm either Physical, Magical, or Financial."
"Granger!" Potter Roared, Eyes pinning Dumbledor in place.
"Really Harry?" the Witch pinched her nose bridge as if fighting a headache. "There has only been one Chief Warlock since the end of the Grinwald War…"
All eyes locked to Albus Dumbledor, Headmaster of Hogwarts, Chief Warlock…
Albus swallowed. This was not going the way it should have.
And then, spoken softly, a witch's tearing voice carried over the Hall. "I told you they were the worst kind of Muggle. Did you ever look in on him? Or did you just dump him, and forget about him until his first year?"
Dumbledor eased back into his chair trying to avoid that question…
"I will have your answer Mister Dumbledor! I will take your silence as …" Potter sneered. His eyes no longer flickered, but blazed green fire.
"I Don't need to…"
"Blood feud!" Roared Black, as Potter shimmered and a Black Puma charged on all fours.
Albus panicked and called for his phoenix, but the bird never came… so the Headmaster tripped his portkey… just as the Puma cleared the High Table… and shattered the gilded throne that Albus had been sitting in not a breath beforehand.
121
Rita was buzzing…
When Bozo exploded into the Bullpen of the Prophet, that morning, yelling about how Potter had dropped the Minister while surrounded by Aurors. Without asking permission, Rita grabbed her selection quills, notebook, and hand bag, before diving into the floo to the 'Three Broomsticks'. As she burst out of the Tavern, she folded into her other form, and buzzed up to the Castle.
She quickly found the 'man' as he and his 'class' practiced their alternate forms, She watched as Headmaster Black became a dog and bolted off… only to be chased two foxes, a rabbit, a kneazle, and a black hunting cat. The Headmistress and professor in white were dealing with a black ball of fur, scrambling at their robes. Easing onto the down-troddan wizard, hiding under his stole, Rita could see and hear everything.
The two 'humans' followed the group to the front doors, where all but the Lord Potter had returned to their human forms, some better then others. They danced around Lord Greengrass, as he made motions of collection his youngest while leaving his Eldest to her own Fate.
Then the students gathered up the Headmaster in White, and carried him back to the courtyard. There they all held some form of Ceremony, but for the life of her, she could not remember what was said, done, or … oh well.
Now was the time for lunch…
As the Students in White Robes paraded into the halls, the upperclassmen conjured Kazoos and filled the hallways with a racket.
Headmaster Black strutted into the Great Hall.
Behind him were the ginger twins and a black kid, sounding their kazoos as they goose-stepped in the Headmaster's wake.
Everyone in the Great Hall fell silent as every head turned to the Doors. One Student was not present...yet. Considering that Potter was at the center of this whole thing, everyone was on the edge of standing…
A Black Gryphon pranced into the Hall, the Blond witch perched on it's shoulders. The only sound in the Hall was the tic-ticing of its talons on the flagstones. The Witch was delivered to the bench where she, unhappily, dismounted. The Gryphon leaped to the table and, with 'his' Wings flung wide, Rared onto his hind legs and Roared… as the 'Black' was peeled back to Show...
Harry Potter in his White PI robes, roaring at the ceiling.
Harry turned and looked at everyone in white. "Two more, and we Have a Quidditch team!" He jumped from the Table to the floor.
"Mister Potter!" the warm tones of Hogwarts' Headmaster carried over the Hall. "There are a few things I need to call you on!" Every head now turned to stare at the Greybeard in Purple Robes. "You will need to surrender your Rings to me and submit to having that dangerous form bound."
A murmur broke out, as Rita landed on the table where the white robes were sitting. Right next to the Blond witchling…
"Alby." Harry actually purred, as he slinked to the center of the Hall. "I do believe you have overplayed your hand. What gives you the Right to declare my Animagus form Dangerous? What Right do you have to try to bind it?"
"I am the Headmaster of Hogwarts!" his first Card, lowest of the trump suit.
"That might mean something if I still went to Hogwarts." a deep rumble centered in the Lad's chest.
"I am your Guardian!" his second card, higher rank, but still a trump.
"By whose Authority?" a crooked grin merged, showing new teeth within.
"The 'Wizengamot! They granted Me the position of Magical Guardian to the Heir of Potter!" Albus Crowed
"Director Bones!" Harry swiveled his shoulders to look at the Ministry Law Enforcer. "Does the 'Mot have that Power?" and Rita could see the light dancing in his eyes. The Lad was inviting Regent Bones to play.
With the grace of a showgirl half her age, the Director stood. "Not unless your parents never wrote out a Will" She let the whole sit in silence for a count of three, as the oldman, thinking he had won, grinned. "But as you and I both know, James Potter had a Will." She turned to Glare at Black. "It is the first step of putting Black where He Belongs."
All eyes locked to Albus Dumbledor, Headmaster of Hogwarts.
"So why was the Will never Read?" Harry smirked at the Headmaster.
"They were Sealed." Snape Snarled from the Far side of the High Table. "The Chief Warlock of the Time had it Done to, and I quote, 'Protect the Heir from members of our very Society that seek to do him Harm.' Harm either Physical, Magical, or Financial."
"Granger!" Potter roared over his shoulder.
"Really Harry?" the Witch pinched her nose bridge as if fighting a headache. "There has only been one Chief Warlock since the end of the Grinwald War…"
All eyes locked to Albus Dumbledor, Headmaster of Hogwarts, Chief Warlock…
Albus swallowed. This was not going the way it should have.
And then, spoken softly, a witch's tearing voice carried over the Hall. "I told you they were the worst kind of Muggle. Did you ever look in on him? Or did you just dump him, and forget about him until his first year?"
Dumbledor eased back into his chair trying to avoid that question…
"I will have your answer Mister Dumbledor! I will take your silence as …" Potter sneered. His eyes no longer flickered, but blazed green fire.
"I Don't need to…" The Bearded Bastard bluffed.
"Blood feud!" Headmaster Black bayed.
Potter shifted to his animus form as he charged the High Table.
Albus vanished with a twisted flash of blue.
And a glass jar dropped over the bug-magus.
121
Lord Cyrus was on his third glass of Firewhiskey when six Aurors exploded from the Floo, running for the door and Castle beyond. The Gag reflex had him spewing a trail of flame through the air. He slammed his glass down, as he stood. "That's it. We are out of here!"
"Milord?" His Wife conveyed many meanings with that one word."
"At Home." the paling Lord hissed, "Please Wife, trust me."
"Oh!" Astoria chirped, "Potter!" she scrambled from her chair, having finished a few minutes earlier. "And that was the advance guard! The Director is already at the Castle…"
"Gossip or getting home before someone from the Ministry does something stupid?" Cyrus asked.
"Fudge is still up there…" Tori threw another bottle of whiskey into the fire, but it was enough to get his Lady Wife moving. As the three of them were embraced in the green flames of the Floo…
The Hog's Head exploded!
tbc