Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach
Sorry, Naru-chan… You're a monster.
Who would've thought one line; one simple statement made out of pure spite and fear could hold so much influence and unlocking power? Not Naruto. Until today, he never would've imagined any taunt could've resurfaced old scars assumed to be healed via many years of psychological therapy and genuine happy moments throughout his earlier adolescence and when they re-emerged, they burned.
Hard, painfully reminding him that they weren't ever 'healed', they were just repressed.
He rushed out of school in a manner befitting of the inhuman creature he was labelled as, by soaring over the rooftop fence of a four-story building, casually breaking his fall like a delicate figure skater like he so often did when he jumped from absurd heights no normal human could survive. Of course Naruto knew he was the furthest possible thing from normality as one could get.
He ran far and wide, bizarrely outpacing cars like a flash of lightning.
He didn't know exactly where he would end up, but he had an idea. After all, there was only one location and one particular object Naruto always himself at to wallow in his despair, as if the lone seat beside his epitomized his loneliness. As such, he didn't even so much as roll his eyes as he found himself at a park near his neighbourhood, seating himself at his usual miserable perch. Not that he could be sarcastic even if he wanted to be.
When he was feeling down all he wanted to do was stare off into nothing with all the impassivity of a statue.
It was an ironic when he considered the swing he rested miserably on. Swings were meant to epitomize joy, excitement and comradery, which was why they were typically two beside each other so a pair of kids could folic together in their blissful friendship.
This concept couldn't have been further from the truth in Naruto's case if it tried.
It represented his loneliness, his sadness and his detachment from those around him. The lone swing swaying back and forth in a light non-existent breeze portrayed this all too well.
"There you are."
He didn't even glance up to meet the warm gaze of amusement of one of his beloveds as his vision was filled with the white and green shirt and skirt of her, "Hey, Karin." He mumbled, eyes glumly rolling down the creamy legs of the strong-willed twin before reaching the ground, saddening further, "How'd ya know I would be here?"
"Oh please," Karin dismissed with a wave of her hand, "You always camp out here on that exact swing whenever you're in a funk Naruto."
It eased him. Just knowing his love ones found him predictable enough to track him down without too much effort on their part. It represented their own recognition of him and attachment to him, which in return meant he wasn't alone in that all-encompassing void of pitch-black nothing staring into a reflection of his own hateful eyes.
A small smile graced his lips, "Yeah, I guess I do."
Karin lightly rolled her eyes before stating in a voice that left no room for argument, "Of course." She filled the space beside her shared beloved in the familiar insouciance he usually exuded, "So what's up? Got told by Miss Riko you high tailed it outta school after your fight with you-know-who?"
Even just subtly mentioning his arch nemesis without actually bringing up his name caused the delinquent boy to internally curl in on himself, "About that…" He balked.
She looked at him with the borrowed patience of her sister, "Yeah?" Both hands went beside her things on her seat as she slid down in a relaxed position, "You kicked his ass as usual, right?"
A subtle clench of his fist did not go unnoticed by her, "Yeah…" He murmured, gritting his teeth.
"Then what's up?" She pushed, peering under his frustrated gaze shadowed by the bangs of his hair with curious orbs, "Did he say something to piss you off?" Annoyance flooded her gaze as she shook her head, "This isn't like you, Naruto? You're a lot of things. A perv, a glutton, an idiot but you are not a sissy!"
"It's all a front." Naruto mumbled in refusal of Karin's nigh emotional persistence of him being a wall of impenetrable fortitude.
Karin's gaze softened, "Is that really such a bad thing?" He finally took his eyes off of the floor with surprised interest, "Fronting that is. Is it really so bad?"
"Well, yeah," He shrugged, uncertain, "You're putting on a fake persona to fool others into believing you're someone you're not."
A delicate eyebrow was raised his way, "Do you?"
"No-No-No!" He hurried, flailing his hands about, his whiskered cheeks lighting up with an awkward blush, "I just meant…"
Karin gave him a reminiscent smirk of someone who had seen their companion's behaviour and problems in another close to them, "Yeah, I know what you mean," She assured him, "You don't wanna get in touch with your feelings so you front to protect yourself from your insecurities, am I right?"
She was. Naruto was so caught off guard at how pinpoint nail on the head accurate Karin's assessment of him was he could do little more but stare in wonder at her. He never spoke about his feelings much, partly for the reasons Karin listed but mainly because he was a manly-man at heart and getting in touch with his feelings weirded him out. He always casually maintained a tough exterior and a kind interior for his girls to feel secure around him.
All he could do for the first-time since ditching school was smile bashfully at how easy Karin figured him out, "Wow, Karin-chan. You're reading me like a book babe."
Karin shrugged, "Wasn't hard really, especially when you're just like my big brother."
Ichigo Kurosaki: Older brother of his twin girlfriends. Yuzu occasionally told him about their older brother, but Naruto never had a fuck or a damn to give about anything involving Ichigo. So whenever the topic comes up he just pretends to listen while not actually listening. As far as he was concerned Ichigo was just an obstacle he would have to more than likely bulldoze out of the way on his path to Yuzu and Karin's skirts.
"Oh, yeah, that guy," He folded his arms behind his head in his feigned interest, "How is he?"
"Fine." As in Ichi-nii was Ichi-nii. Nothing more to mention after that.
He chuckled again, "I'm surprised you two haven't introduced us yet If we're so alike."
"We will when we believe you two won't try to tear into each other the moment you meet."
"What?" He faked a cringe, "Aw, Karin-chan! I'm hurt. How could my baby girls ever think I would lay out their big bro?"
Karin's flat stare showed no signs of collapsing under Naruto's mocking display of hurt to her supposed distrust to his behaviour, "Because you're both a pair of hotheaded knuckleheads," She answered bluntly.
He kept up his facade, "Noooo," Only to drop it under the intensity of Karin's deadpan gaze, "Alright, maybe I've got a little temper." That girl had one impressive poker face, so much so Naruto would even go as far as to say he would be hesitant to try his luck against her in a game of cards, which said something because his luck had always been nigh omnipotent.
"A little, huh?" She raised an eyebrow, but her boyfriend only increased his sheepish smile, "Yeah, sure," With a smirk Karin scooted her swing right beside Naruto's, resting her head on his shoulder as his smile warmed at her, "But that's why I like ya, knucklehead."
"Hm? Naruto wondered blankly, "Whaddya mean?"
"You're a hardass who doesn't take shit from anyone," She answered plainly, stroking his ego, "I admire that about you. You know that you're basically the superman of our town and you're not afraid of flaunting that despite what people may think of you. That's what I like about you." Because Karin wouldn't be interested in any sissy too scare of his own power and insecure of how others would view him for it.
And at the same time, "You're kind to anyone who deserves kindness. That's why Yuzu-chan likes ya, and we don't mind sharing you. We never have." Maybe it was because they were twins who had played innocent romance games with the boy since they were all young, but Karin and Yuzu had never possessed any qualms in sharing a boyfriend, "You're our knucklehead, Naruto."
His breath was taken away. Knowing he had a little something to satisfy the best of both worlds in the twins was one thing to boost his ego, but hearing that he did in such a genuine manner from one of his girls was truly breathtaking. For a few moments, he just stared in wonder and admiration at the girl on his shoulder before falling back to his usual joking demeanour.
"Hehe. So I'm basically a wild tiger on the outside and a teddy bear on the inside," He chuckled.
Karin smirked, "Just consider yourself lucky we're twins who've shared everything since we were born." Because not many girls would be nearly as willing as Karin and Yuzu were to share any man between them, were the unspoken implications Naruto noted, "How's that?" She nudged him playfully, "Feeling better yet?"
"I do," Naruto confirmed softly, tightening his embrace on her, "It's good to know I can always count on my girls to pull me outta my funk."
"One of us have to be there to kick your pig-headed ass back into gear."
"Karin-chan!~" She slid her tongue through her teeth to Naruto's playful whine, prompting him to widen his grin, "Did ya have to ruin the moment?"
"You didn't expect me to be this lovey-dovey lame all night did ya?" She quipped.
The superhuman's grin softened, "Na, of course not." That was why he loved her after all because she was the tigress to Yuzu's kitten, "Just figured we coulda gotten an hour out of this, y'know?"
"Serves you right for expecting that then."
He chuckled, "Yeah, I guess." In despite of the playful insistence of Karin's distaste of lovey-dovey stuff the two settled into a peaceful silence, content to remain in the other embrace until the sun fully set and a full moon took its place. The brilliant silver luminescence shone down on their cuddled forms as the two stared up at the myriad of stars with warm gazes of hopeful optimism for their future.
Only the sound of breaks and the emittion of fumes broke the two from their trance, prompting them to bring their gazes down from the night sky to a red jeep parked just outside of the park; a bearded smiling face poking itself out of the window.
"Looks like that's my ride," Karin said with a shake of her head and an air of disappointment about her. Reluctantly, she squirmed out of Naruto's hold, much to his displeasure, "I gotta go now, Naruto," She pecked him on his whiskered cheek before standing, "Give us a call tomorrow if you're not doing anything."
Confusion shone on his whiskered face, "Tomorrow?" He was under the impression they would be forced to attend another day at the educational facility known as school.
Karin deadpanned, "It's Saturday."
He inhaled a breath of relieved recognition. No school? Score, "Oh," He lifted his eyebrow before shrugging just as quick, "Huh? So it's Friday today. Didn't even realize." He stated nonchalantly.
"You idiot." She said with a hint of affection, warming Naruto's smile as he contently watched her walk away with a wave over her shoulder, "See ya later, Naruto!"
"Catch ya later, babe," He returned, enjoying the view of her ass and hips swaying in the motion the same way he ravished watching Yuzu go, "Damn, I hate to see one of my girls leave but I love watching them go," He chuckled.
Not a moment too soon after Karin had disappeared into the realm of the jeep did the bearded man emerge, sauntering up to Naruto with the same wide, friendly smile plastered on his face.
"Old man Isshin?"
Isshin Kurosaki: A man of towering and a muscular structure; features he had clearly passed on to his eldest son, possessed the same black hair his strong-willed daughter had inherited from him styled in a spiky flattop. He wore an orange collared shirt tucked into his black trousers and a pair of black shoes.
Naruto knew him from the times he would drop his daughters off at the play scheme centre his orphanage sent him too regularly so he could mingle with children outside of the homeless shelter for kids. Naruto liked him. He was a friendly guy even if he could get a bit eccentric.
"Hey, Naruto!" Isshin greeted happily.
Naruto sheathed his hands into his pockets, slouching in his seat, "Hey, old man. S'up?" He looked at him suspiciously, "You ain't come to gimme that "talk" about treating your daughters right or something, right?"
"No-No. That ain't for another five years!" He joked, promptly causing Naruto to guffaw as he threw his head back.
"Alright, I feel ya," That was why he liked Isshin. The older gentlemen never failed to loosen him up regardless of how pissed off Naruto was. They got along like two joking peas from the same pond. He always assumed he would be as buddy-buddy with his girls' brother as he was with their father, but if what Karin had told him was accurate he highly doubted they would hit off, "So what did ya need, man?"
"Yuzu-chan told me about your little run-in with your teacher," Isshin answered, previous amusement scarce from his visage.
"Yeah, well," He shifted on his seat a bit awkwardly, "That asshole had it coming."
"I'm sure," He said sarcastically, shaking his head as he reached into his shirt pocket, "Listen, Naruto. I'm not here to give ya a lecture about whether you should or shouldn't have handed him his ass six-ways to Sunday." Interest flashed in Naruto's strikingly cerulean eyes as he watched the middle-aged man pull out a sheet of paper, handling it out to him, "Go to this address."
"Okay," He shrugged, accepting the paper blankly, "Why?"
"About your super strength," He almost flinched at the nonchalance of which Isshin had brought up his inhumane status, "I know a fellow who runs a small little business. He can help you, Naruto. Trust me. Go to him. He won't judge you. He deals with all kinds of supernatural, so he's pretty open-minded."
Naruto didn't have an opinion on an apparent business man operating on the supernatural but he figured he couldn't possibly get anymore crazy than him outrunning cars casually so he shrugged, "Alright, I'll pass by tomorrow. I ain't doing shit anyway."
Isshin brightened, "Awesome!" He patted him hard on his shoulder, smirking when he didn't even feel so much as a flinch despite the intensity in his friendly shoulder clap, "Glad to hear it. Listen, after you're done swing by! I'm sure my girls would love to see their fella! Hell, about time you met their older brother anyway."
"Will do, man." Naruto nodded with a smile, watching Isshin backtrack to his jeep. He bid Isshin and Karin a two-fingered salute, keeping his eyes fixated on the spare tire on the back of Isshin's jeep until it was out of sight. By that point he turned his eyes to the sheet of paper in the palm of his hand, feeling no optimism or dread of being possibly let down, "Meh, what's the worst that could happen?"
xXx
Jesus Never Dies
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TWO
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Stand Proud
The following day Naruto was up bright and early and dressed in his usual attire, downing a cup of instant noodles before sauntering out of his apartment in casual indifference. It wasn't like he particularly hopeful in discovering someone he could supposedly relate to in this "mysterious" store owner Isshin had instructed him to go to in terms of his advanced abilities, it was that on these certain days, where he was free from school, he liked to spend as much time as humanly possible goofing off.
Spending time with his girls even if it meant being dragged to the mail by them.
Pigging out at his favourite ramen shop.
Playing video games at the arcade.
Fighting a bunch of wannabes, the good stuff.
This was the only reason he was up as early as he was instead of sleeping in until noon, to get this inevitable visit out of the way as fast as possible so he could enjoy the weekend all teens his age looked forward to by the end of the week.
After he had acquired another set of sake and cigarettes he made his way to his given location, which was situated behind a two four-story apartment complexes in front of the cemetery.
Why cemetery? Because nothing said 'Hey, we're sane' better than a magnificent backdrop than the resting place for the dead.
Naruto wasn't surprised to find a modest-looking establishment with a humble built van in front of the cemetery, having already come to the glaring conclusion if the owner really operated on the supernatural some eccentricity was par for the course.
What he didn't expect to find was his arguably closest companion here too and laying out some red headed teen their age to boot too.
"Hey… buddy," Naruto greeted, awkwardly gaining the attention of Karakura's second toughest delinquent.
Kuwabara jolted his shoulders in his sudden surprise in hearing his rival's voice, though any semblance of shock at Naruto's arrival crinkled up into disgust at the cancer stick he held in his fingers, "Ugh, Uzumaki," He acknowledged with noticeable disdain, "Smoking I see. Typical. You have no honour, man."
"Don't be a pansy!" Naruto smirked, eliciting a roll of the eyes from Kuwabara, "What're you doing here anyway?"
"I was gonna ask you the same question," He murmured, but answered anyway just on the principal of Naruto asking first. He wasn't going to preach about Naruto being dishonourable if he wasn't the opposite; honourable, "Meh, whatever. I've been sensing things. Creepy, bad things."
"Is that so?" Naruto didn't even try to sound interested in Kuwabara's supposed supernatural awareness, not that he didn't believe him. Quite the contrary actually. Spirits weren't entirely uncommon, though only a large minority of humans could see them passing by oblivious to most.
Sadly, a folk was more likely to see the spirit of a dead human floating by than they were of catching sight of an superhuman guy like Naruto outrunning a car.
"Yeah, I heard this guy could help me with that from my sister and came here," Kuwabara clarified, already knowing what Naruto was going to ask next as he turned to the object of the blond's enquiry, the red-haired delinquent humbled on the ground, "But then I ran into this little shit picking on a girl."
Disgust settled in the blond's stomach, "No way."
"Oh gimme a break!" The red-haired delinquent began to protest. He reminds both of his fellow delinquents of Nelson from the Simpsons, wearing a similar ripped sleeveless purple vest top with a white shirt underneath matched by purple pants and black shoes. Even his hair was gelled back to complete his tough guy image, "Like any of you guys can talk!" He elaborated at the two raised eyebrows of curiosity he received from his apparent fellow delinquents, "I hear you guys get into fights all the time on the streets, so don't go giving me a hard time for giving Ururu a hard time, you self-righteous pricks!"
"Ah, so you've heard of us, have ya?" Instead of denying any accused comparisons between the three Naruto honed in on the clarification he could use to stroke his ego.
The red-haired teen scoffed, "Who hasn't? A word on the street is you guys go around picking on the first guy who looks at ya wrong."
"Don't compare us to you, you asshole!" Kuwabara raged, slamming his fist into his cheek with enough force to send him skidding several feet away from them, much to the girl's worry.
"Jinta-kun!"
"Unlike you, we ain't tryhards!"
"Fuck yeah we're not!" This was one page Naruto was happy to share with his frenemy.
Jinta pushed himself up to one knee, glaring in the direction of the two powerhouse boys with confusion filling his angry gaze as blood cascaded from the cut on his assaulted cheek, "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Unlike you, we're don't pick fights with girls or anyone smaller, younger and weaker than us! Why? Cause we ain't pussies who need to do that shit to make ourselves feel badass! Hell no! We ain't insecure! We look for the biggest, toughest, baddest mofo crew around. We don't give a shit if we're outnumbered, 'cause that's what being a badass is all about, taking on all pricks who wanna fight! Not girls or wussies who don't!"
Jinta could only stare in gobsmacked disgust throughout the duration of Kuwabara's speech. He could hardly believe there was a hooligan as disgustingly self-righteous as the lanky teen before him. To him, that was the beauty of being a ruffian, doing whatever he wanted and being immoral as possible without a fuck to give for the consequences. Not to uphold some moral code restricting him to only half of the things he wanted to pull off.
Jesus, how corny could that guy get?
"Gimme a break…" He grumbled under his breath.
"What was that squirt?" Kuwabara warned sharply, preparing his knuckles with an audible crack.
Still, though, as much as he hated the preacher of morality it wasn't like he could do much of anything to shove a sock on his nonsense given his defeat to him already.
"Man…" He turned his cheek away from him, signalling he had nothing more to say on the matter.
He knew he would never like that guy for as long as he lived.
Naruto sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth of someone cringing in the face of their friend's awful performance but not wanting to come out and outright say just how much he sucked, "Yeah, bud. That was a… inspirational speech and all, but…"
Kuwabara wasn't having any of Naruto's fake attempts of validating his speech. He didn't need praise of what he thought was right. As long as he knew what he fought for he would always hold on to the belief that he could convert more followers to the Code of Honour.
"Hey, you okay there?" He asked caringly, turning to the girl of Jinta's previous oppression, "Don't worry, madam. That asshole won't be bothering ya again."
One look at the apparent rescued girl of oppression and Naruto could see why Kuwabara would want to go out of his way to a teach a brute some gentlemanly manners in dealing with a lady. She was a quite the looker, not on the level of his girls but she would have made an alright girlfriend for his frenemy. She had two perpetual twin blushes on her cheeks that forever fossilized her facial features in this absolutely adorable shy expression, long purple that cascaded down to the mid of her back with two bangs framing her face. She wore a purple sailor fuku complete with a matching blazer from some school he had never heard of.
Ururu mustered up enough air in her lungs to speak out against Kuwabara's decidedly rough treatment of her proclaimed sibling, "I'm okay, but you didn't have to be so mean to Jinta-kun."
She was still insisting he went too far in his punishment of the rowdy ruffian despite his mistreatment of her? Kuwabara felt touched by her kindness, "Ptff, whatever. Little shit had it coming."
"Oh screw you!"
"For once me and you can agree on something, bastard," Naruto declared casually, eliciting a snort out of Kuwabara.
"A snowball musta survived in hell."
"I know, right? I didn't think I would live to see the day I'd end up agreeing with your dumbass."
"Oh suck a dick, Uzumaki! You couldn't have scored that much higher than me on our last school exam!"
The whiskered cheeked hooligan was already grinning smugly from Kuwabara's admittance of him essentially being smarter even before revealing his real score, "I got a fifty-one." He bragged.
"What? Fifty-one!" That was just barely a passing grade. While it didn't make him a genius by any means it left his intelligence on average which was much more than Kuwabara could say, "Hell no! How the fuck did ya score a fifty freakin' one, Uzumaki!? You don't study anymore than I do!"
"I do when my girls persuade me to." Naruto shrugged.
"How the hell do they manage that?" Kuwabara questioned back in incredulity.
He sighed dreamily in the bliss of his recall of Yuzu and Karin's bribe of persuading him to do his homework, "Ten bowls of ramen and 'em in bikinis, boii."
Kuwabara's scepticism instantly eased up into understanding recognition. Really, he understood the blond stood zero chance against such a proposal. In his simple mind, men had two weaknesses; their stomachs and their dicks, and no other person knew that better than their girl.
"Alright, I get behind that last part," He reasoned, crossing his arms with an understanding nod. If he had a girl who was offering to stay in a bikini while he did his homework he would snatch at the opportunity too, "Though I would suggest ten orders of double decker cheese burgers."
"Get bent! Ramen's the food of the gods."
"More like the food of the scrubs. That shit'll kill ya faster than a heart attack."
"And cheeseburgers won't? That shit's even cheaper!"
"Least cheeseburgers are tasty."
"And Ramen isn't?"
"No! I've tried all flavours and each one makes me barf!"
Naruto inhaled through his nostrils in barely restrained patience, "This is why I hate ya, man."
"I hate you more."
Jinta could only stare with a face full of disbelief at the hard realization that he was below a pair of joke hooligans on the power scale, 'I actually lost to this guy,' Oh, the woes of being an unimportant side character. How he hated it.
"What's going on out here?" It looked for all intents and purposes that an increase was on the cards for Jinta's headache when his hulking carekeeper stepped through the door of the small shop, hair styled in cornrows as he towered over the youngsters with his imposing structure.
"Pssh, get a load of this guy, Uzumaki," Kuwabara nudged his fellow delinquent beside him all the while looking up at the mammoth of a bespectacled man before them, "He's huge!"
"Yeah no shit," Naruto murmured back. He had seen his fair share of lanky adults on the streets, but none had ever come close to matching the sheer balance of muscle and height that this oddly politely looking gentleman had in front of them.
Any tension hidden beneath a crouching nonchalance evaporated when the butler actually turned to the boys he didn't recognize with a brightened visage of polite recognition, "Ah, customers. Splendid. And how may we at the Urahara Shoten assist you gentlemen on this day?"
Naruto scratched his scalp, only slightly put off at such a towering titan of a man being such a chivalrous gentleman before cutting to the chase, "Got sent to this Urahara-guy by another guy named Isshin. Said-." He was politely urged to cease his explanation by the outward palm of the butler.
"Ah, Master Uzumaki. We've been expecting your arrival," He stated.
So old man Isshin phoned ahead of him? Cool. That was convenient and saved time.
"As well as a Master Kuwabara," He continued, rounding on the aforementioned youth in questioning, "Would that happen to be you by any chance young man?"
"Yeah," He confirmed, brow furrowing in relaxed realization, "My sis called ahead, huh?"
"Indeed."
"Cool."
"Follow me inside. I'll inform Master Urahara of your arrivals," Tessai instructed, in the motion of pivoting toward the door.
"Hey, you need to talk to that little shit too!" Kuwabara furiously injected, pointing an authoritative finger to the hooligan in question, getting him to stiffen him up at the prospect of being ratted out to his senior as said senior ceased his turn, peering over to the redhead on the spot with an intimidating glance before looking back at Kuwabara.
"And why might that be?" He suggested in a rhetoric manner.
Kuwabara was straight to the point in his reason with a stiff jerk of his head in Ururu's direction, ignoring the redhead's pleading gestures of mercy, "The bastard was bullying her."
"I can assure you I'll be having words with the young master later," Tessai said, prompting Jinta to toss his head up in relenting frustration.
"Good!" Kuwabara declared, crossing his arms in annoyed content.
"If that'll be all," He waited until it was clear he wasn't going to get anymore signs of interruption from the two before continuing with his turn, "Then please follow me inside."
"Pfft. Tell-tale…" Jinta whispered bitterly to Kuwabara in the act of his fellow delinquents sauntering past him with their hands in their pockets.
"Go fuck yourself, bitch," Kuwabara harshly murmured back, bidding him a very bitter depart with the bird before entering the Urahara store with his rival in tow, "Little fuck."
"Place isn't what I was expecting," Naruto commented on the design of the establishment. Given that the store owner operated on the supposed supernatural Naruto would've expected his shop of operations to be more on the grandiose side, but instead found a modest interior to match its humble exterior. It had two glass cases filled with the store merchandise and a single elevated step at the end of a narrow aisle. As simple and bland as it all sounded, like potatoes or water. No favour or pizzazz.
"What were you expecting?" Kuwabara questioned, his face scrunching up in annoyed confusion at his frenemy, not thinking much of the shop's grounded look as a whole compared to Naruto.
Naruto crossed his arms, squinting his eyes as he struggled to find the correct words to describe what he meant. "Just a little something… hmm, elaborate I guess."
Kuwabara's impatient look only increased as he fisted his hips, "Like what?"
"Like…" He tried before abruptly changing his mind, waving his hand to dismissive his expectations as unnecessary, because they were in the grand scheme of things, "Na, forget about it. S'not important. We're here now."
Kuwabara rolled his eyes, "If ya say so."
"Please wait here. I will inform the master of your arrivals," Tessai requested, disappearing behind a curtain behind the elevated steps when he received two nods from the youngsters.
Left to their own devices, the two teenage boys allowed their short attention spans to get the better of them and begin observing the merchandise, trying to spot anything that could stick out as bizarre in the mundane everyday life of normal people while passing the ball of conversation back and forth between themselves.
"Good thing big guy turned out to be a pacifist sissy, eh?" Kuwabara began, singling out a peculiar named tube of apparent sugary goodness titled Soul Candy, 'What the fuck is this shit?'
"Why? Did his size have ya turning yellow?" Naruto tossed back offhandedly, his mind currently elsewhere.
"Oh suck a fat one Uzumaki!" Kuwabara snapped, slamming his viewed upon merchandise to whence came from to round on his rival with a wrathful glance, "I was not scar-!"
"Hey, get load of this!" Naruto beamed, yanking out the previous silhouetted merchandise he had been eyeing with curiosity since getting under his rival's skin; a naked life-like, life-sized doll. Seriously. The amount of detail put into that doll was astounding. It could have been its own artificial body had it possessed a face and hair for the amount of detail it had already, "It looks like a body!~"
It was already hard for a ginger to go pale but Kuwabara turned as white as a ghost from having what looked like a limp body detangling in his face, "Eeeeeeeeee! He cringed, throwing his arms up, "Put that shit down, man!"
"Why?" Naruto asked with a glimpse of innocence before a wolf-like smirk curved across his lips, "Oh, I get it. You're scare, ain't cha?" He shoved the body up against Kuwabara, prompting him to flinch, "Admit it!"
"Fuck off!" Not being able to take having what could have essentially passed off as a living corpse rubbed up against him, Kuwabara took the usual risk of taking a swing at Naruto, which only resulted in him being floored with a hard elbow in the back of his head after his rival had merely side stepped his attack.
"Yeah, don't try that," Naruto recommended casually, shaking the body free of any excess dust as though he were dusting off his hands from a job well done while eyeing his floored rival with a measure of cocky satisfaction. All of which was put on hold when a huge shadow eclipsed Naruto's diminutive frame, prompting him to raise an eyebrow in curiosity, "What?"
"Would you mind placing that in its proper place young master?" Tessai asked. Even in his threatening voice he still maintained his formal politeness above all else, "Unless, of course, you are planning on making a purchase!" He brightened.
"No thanks," Big guy staring him down menacingly or not Naruto still inappropriately and uncaringly tossed the fake body to the side without a fuck to give if it was the right place or not. He had been decimating tall grown-ups looking to put him in his place for beating up their sons since he was a toddler to build a solid chip on his shoulder. One adult exuding a little bit of killer's intent wasn't going to knock that off anytime soon.
Even still though he didn't want to buy some freaky fake body even if it was a load of fun torturing Kuwabara with it so he would compromise that much.
The blond hard ass glanced over to where Tessai had disappeared originally to retrieve the supposed spiritualist the two rude boys had come to see to find a tall, lean-built fellow blond. Except his blond was nowhere near as shiny to the point it was golden as Naruto's was. It was a pale yellow and shaggy, extending down to his shoulders.
He sported a medium green kimono held closed by a black sash and matching green pants. Over his normal attire he donned an haori of a darker shade of green. Most eye-catching characteristics which Naruto felt he would come to recognize the man as were his bucket green-and-white striped hat casting a shadow over his eyes, wooden sandals and cane in his right hand.
"See anything you like?" He teased with a grin he kept hidden with another noticeable object; a fan he pulled from the confines of his kimono.
Well that was obviously a troll. No reason to answer that so Naruto didn't. "You Kisuke?"
Ah. He didn't take the bait. He was no fun. "Why, yes, yes I am this mere humble shopkeeper," If Kisuke wasn't disappointed by Naruto not taking his troll-bait he didn't let it show as he kept up his charade, "And please, don't feel put-off if the gigai wasn't up your alley. I have plenty of other top-quality merchandise that is sure to be your cup of tea," He finished with a wink as if he were sealing the deal.
Wait. That thing that resembled a body was actually an artificial body? Well it made sense to both boys that it was given how closely it resembled a body already, but that begged the question of why anyone would need a fake body. Neither of them wanted that question anymore than they wanted the answer. The question was nightmare fuel on its own.
"Yeah… man. I'll… be sure to keep that in mind," Naruto replied in awkward sarcasm, "So my girls' old man thought you could help me understand my unnatural strength."
"Ah, yes!" Kisuke grinned widely in remembrance, mischief still lighting up the shadow over his eyes despite Naruto's attempts to get to the heart of the matter, "Many great things are expected of you Mr Uzumaki."
"Oh, c'mon man," Kuwabara urged, "Can the shit. We ain't five."
"No, seriously! Mr Uzumaki is the chosen one prophesied to raise once more and save the world."
"Yeah, I'm destined to be King of Quincies."
"Well let at least there's more of a chance of me being the saviour of all mankind than you being king of… whatever those Quincy-dorks are." Naruto's logic: Kuwabara sucked.
"Fuck off, Uzumaki! You don't even know how sissy the Quincy are!"
"Would if ya told me about 'em?"
"Why!? They're not even important! They're practically extinct like the fuckin' dinosaurs at this point!"
Kisuke shook his head in wary amusement at the two boys' petty argument. He knew even before he had met the transmigrated god that it was never going to be that straightforward to convince him that he was the reincarnation of an golden wonder whom had rescued the prehistoric world of old from an everlasting illusion. It was a fairly unbelievable story, one he sometimes doubted himself even after researching Naruto's return inscribed on a stone tablet from the one who had foretold the prophecy himself.
But there was his evidence, standing before him arguing with his school friend. Even before he had approached the boy, Kisuke could feel the massive oceans of power hidden within the blond's short stature.
"Well I suppose a measure of convincing is in order, eh?" Kisuke stated rhetorically in an eerily calm voice contrasting his initial lighthearted silly demeanour, pressing his hat downward to hide his face.
The two stopped, simultaneously rotating tilted heads of confusion at Kisuke at the latter's sudden change in character, "…Okay," Naruto shrugged, "I'll bite. How're we gonna do that?"
"C'mon." Kisuke jerked his head, "I believe explanations are due first."
Naruto and Kuwabara both spared a glance at one another, both equally struck with befuddlement at the store owner's flip-of-a-switch change in demeanour of joking goofball to serious hard ass before shrugging.
"Fine." Kuwabara said for the both of them.
"Tessai, my good man! Would you be so kind and prepare the tea?" He flashed their guests a malevolently delighted grin that caused Kuwabara's crawl to skin and Naruto's eyes to harden, "This may take a while."
"Of course Urahara-dono."
I think that's a good place to end, eh? On a cliffy. I hope you guys enjoyed. Also, I currently make daily Rainbow Six Siege videos over on YouTube. If ya could subscribe to me I'd be eternally grateful. My Youtube's channel's the same as my fanfiction account: Thugs Bunny.
Peace