Disclaimer:
'You're Under Arrest(Taiho Shichauzo) ' is the property of Kōsuke Fujishima and Kodansha.
'Due South' is the property of Paul Haggis and Alliance communications.
'Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon' is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and Kodansha.
The 'Kamen Rider' Franchise is the property of Shotaro Ishinomori and Toei. 'Masked Rider' Is the property of Haim Saban and Shuki Levy.
So yeah, I don't own any of those just so you know.
The fanfic for this mission 'MASKER RIDER vs. THE SAILOR SENSHI' is the property o f J.B. GRAHAM (a.k.a. KAMEN RIDER DRAGON). Owner of the long defunct website 'Kamen Rider Zone & Anti-Sailor Moon Web Base' and he can keep both of 'em.
The agents are mine of course.
R-34 Task Force
Mission 1. MASKER RIDER vs. THE SAILOR SENSHI
Agents: Franklin MacKenzie (Due South)
Naomi Taylor(You're Under Arrest/ No Mercy)
Miranda Kitteridge(You're Under Arrest/ No mercy)
(Prologue 1, Somewhere outside our reality, time, and space)
A meeting is taking place.
At a long ornate half circle table in an otherwise generic room, a council of beings discuss their plans for a newly formed continuity controlling organization.
At the head, or rather middle of this table sat F, a middle aged gentleman with grey hair, wearing a grey business suit, opaque round glasses and a bright yellow bow tie. He adjusted his glasses as he listened to the other opinions of the other beings present at the table. He lets things quiet down enough before speaking.
"Well we all agree on one thing." He said in a curt British accent. "That the Mary Sue and the Gary Stu are very much present in fan comics as well as in fanfiction. And are causing the same amount of problems in the various continua."
"As sure as that yellow bow tie of yours stands out." Replied O, another man with greasy black hair and wore a fringed black robe and red Lennon glasses. "You sure we shouldn't leave this matter to that other organization?"
"I fear that they're unlikely to deal with fan-comics anytime soon." F replied. "Well not the ones we'll soon be deploying our agents too. Speaking of which…" He turned his attention to an attractive looking grey haired woman. "How is it proceeding?"
"As one would expect, it's taking a bit longer than we expected. What with training on on how to use super-hero powers as well as giving them all S.W.A.T. training." Replied B, an attractive looking young adult lady with short grey hair, she was wearing a futuristic purple and black dress. "But they should be almost ready for their first mission."
"I suppose so." Replied F. "But like I suggested earlier when we decided to form this group, We should start them off on an old crossover fanfic first. Namely the one miss L suggested. Is that correct, miss L?"
A black cat with a moon shaped mark on her forehead nodded. "And the sooner the better." She stated. "Which is why we're having those two female OCs from 'Your Under Arrest' trained as sailor soldiers per my native continuum. And that male OC from 'Due South' trained as a Kamen Rider per the continuum it's crossing over with. Ugh this awful fanfic has been bothering me for such a dreadful long time. Even long after it was officially deleted."
"Not to worry there, kitty." O replied. "Seeing as we are operating in the fourth dimension. We can just send our agents to before that fanfic was deleted and give it a proper send off. Might even finish it to boot."
"Well that is the idea." B nodded. "Well I suppose It's time we got started then. Meanwhile we'll need the two other teams we recruited up to speed."
"You mean the ones from Warhammer 40K, and those individuals from 'Fallout'?" L asked.
"I still kinda find it hard to believe we managed to recruit a B.O.S. hairy deathclaw that talks like a certain macho WWE pro-wrestler." O added. "And just when I thought I've seen and heard everything."
…
(Prologue 2, R34 Task Force base, somewhere in 4D space)
Naomi Taylor and her partner Miranda walked down the hallway back to their living quarters. They had just finished a session of S.W.A.T training.
An unknown amount of time ago, both she and Miranda were police officers working for the California Highway Patrol. They even once visited Japan and worked as meter maids at Bokuto station as part of a cultural exchange program.
She thought about how strange it was that all the staff at Bokuto looked like Japanese, and somewhat tamer, versions of those cowboy-cops back in the old precinct. While the Bokuto staff comment on how much Naomi and Miranda looked like Caucasian versions of Natsumi Tsujimoto and Miyuki Kobayakawa respectively.
Then one day, just as they finished work. They ended up in the 4th dimension, being 'recruited' to be agents of a multi reality agency.
Needless to say what they were told would take many chapters to explain, but in the end, they agreed to join.
"Something on your mind?" Miranda asked.
"You could say that." Naomi replied. "I mean 4d space outside of time itself, our reality is a work of fiction on a parallel earth. And all those works of fiction are realities as well. And they are being affected by both fan fiction and fan comics."
"Well I don't know if we'll be doing any of those fanfics." Miranda said. "We're told that they're being handled by another organization. We'll be basically dealing with rule 34 fan comics."
"Right. So why are we being trained as being essentially a cross between sailor soldiers and pretty cures?" Naomi asked. "Plus S.W.A.T training?"
"We may have to use their abilities in their home continua." Miranda explained. "Since there is quite a bit of rule 34 in those continua, as well as our own. And don't forget, we're also highly trained police officers to start with. Along with Franklin."
"You mean the R.C.M.P. hottie from 'Due South'? The one they're training on how to use the 'Kamen Rider' powers?" Naomi asked.
Miranda nodded. "That's the guy. Heard he used to be a jr. forest ranger growing up in north Ontario. Some town called Indian River."
Before long, they arrived at their station/living quarters that they shared with Franklin Mackenzie. A police officer about their age(All of them are in their early 20s), who had light brown hair, a clean shaven handsome(Well to Naomi anyway) face, and light blue eyes behind a pair of eyeglasses.
He might be considered nerdy if it weren't for the fact that he was about 6ft(1.8m) tall and athletically built. Definitely taller than Naomi at five foot five in.(1.65m) and Miranda at five foot six in.(1.68m).
Speaking of which. "Welcome back, you two." He greeted as he was preparing to cook up some bacon snacks. "How'd your training go?"
"I think we're all done. Miranda answered. "How 'bout you."
"Same thing." Franklin replied as put the bacon snacks in the oven, set the temperature and the timer. He looked over at the table at a sealed box resting on it. "Oh yeah our basic equipment arrived earlier today."
"Well let's open it up then." Miranda walked over to the table, unsealed the box and examined the contents. "Let's see what we got here…"
The first thing Miranda pulled out was a handheld portal generator. "Well we have a portal generator to get us from place to place. Home base coordinates are locked of course. Can program up to over 100 locations. Voice activated."
"So what's next…" Naomi reached in and pulled out a set of three silver sticks.
"Careful with those." Franklin warned. "They're neuralyzers, Men In Black issue."
"Oh, so we can wipe memories and cover our tracks." Naomi said. "Looks like there's one for each of us." Then she pulled out three pairs of black sunglasses. "Look, we even have Ray-Bans. Bet we'll look cool wearing these." She grinned as she put on one of the sunglasses. "I know I do."
"I wonder if I can get a pair in my prescription." Franklin said as he adjusted hos own glasses.
Then Miranda pulled out three pen shaped devices. "Now those would be our disguise pens, Sailor Moon Issue." Franklin pointed out. "Used to make us blend in to our surroundings. And give us whatever knowledge and abilities of whoever or whatever we turn into."
"Now that'll be useful." Naomi replied.
"And that brings us to…" Naomi pulled out a hand-held device with a monitor mounted on it. "Hmmm, this must be our field analyzer."
Franklin took the device and studied it. "Let's give it a test run." He pressed a couple of buttons and pointed the field analyzer at Naomi.
Then a readout scrolled up on the monitor.
Name: Naomi Taylor
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: Police Officer, California Highway Patrol
Homeworld: Earth
Home Continuum: Earth, You're Under Arrest/ No Mercy. Possible Crossover with Project: A-Ko
Original Character, Resembles American version of Natsumi Tsujimoto, also possess superhuman strength
"Wow! You have superhuman strength!?" Franklin said, looking surprised. "How strong are you?"
"I think I'm about as strong as Natsumi." Naomi replied. "Or maybe that redhead from Graviton City."
"That's a bit of a stretch." Miranda replied. "That girl can juggle MBTs and giant robot spiders, You could barely bench press our Dodge Charger patrol car. And even I find that hard to believe. Seeing as you look perfectly normal."
"Right, okay, Miranda, you're next." Franklin pointed the analyzer at Miranda.
Name: Miranda Kitteridge
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Occupation: Police Officer, California Highway Patrol
Homeworld: Earth
Home Continuum: Earth, You're Under Arrest/ No Mercy. Possible Crossover With Project: A-Ko
Original Character, Resembles American version of Miyuki Kobayakawa
"Can you give me that?" Miranda asked. "I want to run it on you."
"Sure." Franklin agreed.
Name: Franklin MacKenzie
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Occupation: Police Officer, Royal Canadian Mounted Police
Homeworld: Earth
Home Continuum: Earth, Due South. Possible crossover with The Forest Rangers
Original Character
"Next we have…" Naomi pulled out a laptop. "Looks like we have some kind of laptop computer."
"And Finally we have…" Naomi pulled out a three satchels each with with a single shoulder strap. "Bags of holding. Harry Potter issue."
"I'll bet you could stuff an M1 Abrams in there and carry it around in there as though it weighed nothing." Miranda said.
"I guess you could." Naomi replied. "But why?"
"You never know." Was Miranda's answer.
It was right about then that two things happened. First, The timer on Franklin's bacon snacks dinged. And just after he took them out of the oven and put them on a plate…
The second thing thing happened. The console on the back wall began to beep. On it's large monitor flashed the words 'MISSION AVAILABLE, Please Respond.'
"Looks like this is it, girls." Franklin approached the console, sat down and pressed the usual large red button. Let's see what we're sending us into."
The briefing appeared on the main screen.
Mission: MASKER RIDER vs. THE SAILOR SENSHI
Type: Literature/ Fan-fiction,
Year published: 1996(approx.)
Setting: Earth, Japan
Continua: Sailor Moon, Kamen Rider/ Saban's Masked rider (crossover)
Caution: Written in script-fic, recommend agents use field analyzer to switch to normal format.
"A fanfic?" Naomi said. "We've been briefed on those. Aren't they the stories where you can see and read the words?"
"And, if they are not well written, can cause weird things to happen." Miranda added.
"I have a bad feeling this is going to be one of those." Franklin said.
Then he flicked the switch marked 'Mission Portal' and the portal generator next to the console began to warm up. "Okay everyone, while that's warming up and locking on, let's grab our gear and get ready."
Everyone headed over to their weapons lockers. "Since this is set in in the late 1990s, modern firearms oughta do it." Franklin suggested as he took out a Colt M1911 service pistol(.45 ACP), and a Remington 870 pump-action riot shotgun (12 Gauge) along with ammo for both and placed them in his bag of holding.
Likewise Naomi and Miranda each took a Colt M1911 pistol and ammo.
Also they each took out a digital notepad with pen, handcuffs, taser, baton and combat knife. Along with flash-bang and tear-gas grenades.
Just then the console signaled again. The three agents looked at the new message that appeared on the screen.
Oh almost forgot, you might need this.
Then a small wad of cash appeared on the console desk.
"Hey what's this?" Naomi picked out the small wad of Showa period Japanese banknotes. "Looks like there's about ten thousand yen here" She said. "Hey there's a note attached.."
The note read. 'legal tender in Japan from 1984-2000. For current mission only. Please return remainder on completion. Difference will be deducted from your salary.'
"So we have some spending money while out in the field." Franklin said.
"I guess so." Naomi placed the money in her bag of holding. "So how are we going as?" Naomi asked as they stood before the portal.
"I'm thinking generic Japanese middle school students." Franklin replied as he programmed in their initial disguises from the suggested menu. "Okay all set. Let's get started." And he slung his bag of holding over his shoulder and stepped through the portal.
Followed by Naomi and Miranda.
(The Mission)
The agents emerged from the portal. As the portal closed behind them, they noticed that they had arrived in a fairly generic late 1990s Japanese downtown setting(judging from the various signs written in Japanese which they now find themselves able to read).
Besides now looking like 14 year old Japanese teenagers (And each one a few inches/centimetres shorter), They were, per their current disguises, now wearing typical Japanese school uniforms.
Franklin was now wearing a navy blue gakuran jacket over a white shirt, navy blue pants, white socks and a pair of white tennis sneakers. His bag of holding (Along with Naomi's and Miranda's) had transformed into a slender black leather randoseru schoolbag/ backpack with twin shoulder straps.
Both Naomi and Miranda were wearing white short sleeve blouses with blue sailor collars, red scarves, knee length pleated blue skirts, white knee socks and black Mary Jane shoes.
Also Franklin and Naomi's hair went from light brown and brown respectively to dark brown. And Miranda's hair, though unchanged in color (Still black), had come undone in back and now came down to the middle of her back.
They looked at their reflections at a nearby shop mirror. And it was at that point, things suddenly got weird.
Naomi: Whoa! This is weird! I look like a teenage version of Natsumi in a schoolgirl uniform.
Naomi looks at Miranda.
And and you look like… Huh? Why did I just say Naomi looks at Miranda?
Miranda: Yeah,why did you say that, Naomi?
Miranda,hands on her hips,turns to look at a confused Naomi.
Wha!? Now I'm doing it too! What's going on here!?
Franklin: Something tells me that we're being affected by the fanfic we just jumped into.
Franklin looks left and right,up and down for floating words.
Oh great, now I'm saying my own actions too.
Naomi: This is too frigging weird!
Naomi frantically waves her arms up and down.
Someone make it stahp! Ugh! Anyone else feels like they're being squished by a python?
Miranda: Nuuh! It feels more like we're on Jupiter all of a sudden. I'm finding it hard to breathe!
Franklin: Hold on! Hold on! Gimme a sec. Jeez what the hell's going on here?
Franklin,looking just as uncomfortable,unstraps his schoolbag. He reaches in and pulls out the field analyzer.
Ah! here we are. Let's see what's going on here.
Franklin pressed a button and looks at the monitor for results
Field Analyzer: ATTN. Script-fic detected. Quotation marks absent. Space missing after comma.
Wow! I didn't know I had a voice.
Spacing between paragraphs absent. This isn't good for my housing. I'm not built for this much atmosphere.
Switch agents to standard format? Y/N
I strongly recommend Y.
Franklin: On that we can agree.
Franklin selects Y.
All three agents and the field analyzer all breathe a sigh of relief as the pressure they were all under went away.
"Oh man, that feels a whole hell of a lot better." Franklin said as he stretched out his arms. "Well at least I'm not saying what I'm doing."
"No kidding, Franklin." Miranda agreed as she took in a deep breath. "What was that all about?"
"Now I know how it feels to pinned under a certain overweight YouTube mukbanger, while being squeezed by a Burmese python, while stranded on the surface of Jupiter." Naomi added. "And I sure the hell don't wanna feel like that again."
"Me neither." Miranda agreed.
"Same here." Franklin added. "And what did you mean by being pinned under a certain….*shudder*…" He shuddered when he figured out which Youtuber Naomi was referring to. "Nevermind. Ugh, now my brain needs a shower."
"*shudder*… Just your brain, Franklin? Really, Naomi. So what just happened to us?" Miranda asked.
"Maybe I can explain." Answered the field analyzer.
"Oh my god!" Naomi gasped. "You really can talk!"
"Apparently I can." The field analyzer replied. "Well through your field analyzer anyway. Actually I'm the main computer back at your headquarters. I'm an A.I."
"An A.I.?" All three agents said.
"We'll explain later." The field analyzer said. "Well the briefing I sent you three earlier did warn you that you were heading into a script-fic and to use the field analyzer to switch yourselves to 'normal' mode, correct?"
"Yeah, I guess you did." Naomi replied.
"Only this script-fic had no quotation marks at all. It couldn't tell the difference between speaking and acting." Miranda added.
"And there was no spacing between our paragraphs." Franklin added. "That caused us to experience quite a bit of pressure."
"So I guess we're dealing with a bad-fic then." Naomi said. "Think we oughta press charges for that?"
"Like that other organization?" Miranda asked.
"I guess so." Franklin took out his notepad and pen. "Charge for using script-fic, lack of quotation marks, using present tense instead of past tense, no spacing after comma and no spacing between paragraphs." He wrote down the charges." Check your notepads. You should have the charges on 'em too."
The two schoolgirls nodded and checked their notepads. Sure enough the charges Franklin wrote down appeared on their pads.
"We got 'em." Naomi said. "Neat tech, these digital notepads."
"I guess." Franklin agreed. Then he saw something at the top of his field of view. He looked up and squinted his eyes slightly."
"See something, Frank?" Naomi asked.
"Words." Was Franklin's answer. "Floating dark blue words. Looks like the fic's starting."
Naomi and Miranda also looked up and squinted, seeing and reading the fanfic scroll across the sky. Then they looked back down and saw it's effects…
MASKED RIDER vs. THE SAILOR SENSHI
Chapter One
One peaceful day in Japan, a teenage tourist walks down the streets of Tokyo, he is sightseeing, and is generally being bored to death.
Dex: Geez! I thought Japan was supposed to be interesting! This is ridiculous! This country stinks,and I have never seen such tacky clothing since I saw The Brady Bunch Movie!
Unfortunately,five Japanese girls were within earshot of Dex's berating of Japan.
Along with one Canadian and two American agents disguised as Japanese students. All three started to gag, and had to plug their noses when the air suddenly began to smell really eye-watering putrid.
"Oh jeez! What the fuck!?" Naomi said, her eyes closed tight and tears flowing down her cheeks. "Why does it smell like a fucking sewer clogged with over-loaded diapers all of a sudden!?"
"That's not the half of it, Naomi! Look" Miranda, her nose plugged just as tight and tears flowing down her face, pointed at a nearby crowd of generic locals. "Oh God! What are they wearing!?"
Said crowd were all suddenly wearing some of the most stereotypical and tackiest of late 1970's clothing. And they were also suffering from the stench too
"And I thought the smell was frigging bad." Franklin said. There were tears flowing down his face too.
A second later, the air suddenly stopped smelling foul, and the clothes snapped back to more generic 1990's fashions. The locals look at each other in complete confusion, then they all went back to going about their business.
"Okaaaay, what just happened?" Naomi asked. "One second we were watching Dex being an inconsiderate tourist over there. And the next, we were reeling from that awful AF smell and everyone was wearing really outta date 1970's clothes!"
"I think I know what just happened." Franklin answered. He looked back up at the still floating words. "Notice that there no quotation marks anywhere in Dex's lines."
"Yeah, I don't see 'em either." Naomi said as she also looked up. "Without 'em there's no way to tell which line is spoken and which line is action."
"And we all saw the immediate results." Miranda said. "When Dex said that 'This country stinks', The whole place started to smell horrible. And when he said 'I have never seen such tacky clothing since I saw The Brady Bunch Movie!', that made everyone around us to be suddenly dressed in really garish 1970's clothing. Yuck!"
"Well we already charged for the missing quotation marks." Naomi took out her notepad. "So I'm gonna add 'Charge for run on sentence. Making Japan stink and making everyone wear Brady Bunch clothes' to the list." And she wrote down the new charges.
"Wait a sec." Naomi looked up from her notepad. "Didn't Dex say 'Unfortunately, five Japanese girls were within earshot of Dex's berating of Japan.'?"
"You mean those five?" Franklin pointed at the five schoolgirls. Dressed in different sailor uniforms. Then Franklin noticed something about them as they were recovering from the smelly air earlier "Well I'll be… It's them."
"Holy cow! It is them!" Naomi, looking surprised once she recognized them. "Serena, Amy, Raye, Lita and Mina!"
"You mean, Usagi, Ami (spelled with an 'i'), Rei, Makoto, and Minako?" Miranda corrected.
"Enh. Same people." Naomi replied. "I can't believe it's really them! OMG! I feel like I'm about to squee!"
"Easy there, Naomi." Franklin cautioned as he scanned the five schoolgirls. The results appeared on the main screen.
Name: Usagi Tsukino AKA Sailor Moon
Gender: Female
Race: Human/Reincarnated Princess
Occupation: Middle School Student, Currently attending Juban Public Middle School
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Sailor Moon
Canon Character
ATTN: 50% OOC,
Name: Ami Mizuno AKA Sailor Mercury
Gender: Female
Race: Human/Reincarnated Inner Guardian
Occupation: Middle School Student, Currently attending Juban Public Middle School
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Sailor Moon
Canon Character
ATTN: 50% OOC,
Name: Rei Hino AKA Sailor Mars
Gender: Female
Race: Human/Reincarnated Inner Guardian
Occupation: Middle School Student, Currently attending T.A. Academy For Girls
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Sailor Moon
Canon Character
ATTN: 50% OOC,
Name: Makoto Kino AKA Sailor Jupiter
Gender: Female
Race: Human/Reincarnated Inner Guardian
Occupation: Middle School Student, Currently attending Juban Public Middle School, Recently transferred from unnamed school
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Sailor Moon
Canon Character
ATTN: 50% OOC,
Name: Minako Aino AKA Sailor Venus
Gender: Female
Race: Human/Reincarnated Inner Guardian
Occupation: Middle School Student, Currently attending Shiba Koen Junior High
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Sailor Moon
Canon Character
ATTN: 50% OOC,
"Odd, Why are they reading at 50% OOC?" Miranda asked.
"I'm afraid I have no data yet." Replied the Field Analyzer. "Seeing as they just appeared. It's quite likely you'll find out shortly."
"I think the fic's resuming." Franklin said.
Usagi: Did I just hear some kid knocking Japan?
Rei: Yeah, and I think someone should go tell that guy off for talking like that!
Minako: Good Idea! You tell him,Rei!
Rei: Well, actually, I think Makoto should do it, she's the smart one.
Makoto: I am not! Ami is!
Ami: I, uh, have some homework to do.
Rei: What?! Someone talks bad about Japan, and the rest of the Senshi are too wimpy to say a word? Fine, you bunch of chickens, I'll do it!
Rei stomps off from the group, and taps Dex on the shoulder.
The three agents look at each other. "Guess that explains why they're OOC." Franklin said as they watched Rei, after saying what she was doing, stomp over towards Dex, each step causing a slight tremor and leaving inch-deep holes in the concrete.
Waiting just behind her was was four barnyard chickens which soon turned back in the remaining four senshi.
"I dunno." Naomi replied. "Looks like they were more or less acting like they did in the DiC dub."
"Well they're a bit flanderized here that's for sure. "Miranda added. "Especially Rei. Well at least this fic's using their original Japanese names."
"Well, I don't think this is charge worthy. Well other than turning Usagi, Ami, Makoto and Minako into barnyard chickens. Man this fic's being literal." Naomi said. "But still, getting upset over some idiot tourist saying stupid things about their country."
She looked at Dex.
"Jeez what a jerk." Naomi shook her head.
"Well they are 14 tears old, what do you expect." Miranda shrugged. "Yeah, and I think Dex is acting like a jerk too. That's pretty unusual."
"Well I better scan him, see what his deal is." Franklin said. "This guy is definitely not acting like himself."
"Yeah, if anything he's acting like a complete jerkass." Naomi added.
By now Rei reached Dex and tapped him on the shoulder.
Dex: Yes?
Rei: Just who do you think you are, talking about Japan like that?!
Dex: Oh, I'm sorry, I did'nt know it was a Japanese custom to eavesdrop on tourists.
Rei: I was not eavesdropping!
Dex: Hmm,maybe not, that tacky school uniform looks like it can really conduct sound.
Rei's uniform suddenly sprouted a whole bunch of large bat, fennec fox and rabbit ears. Then it reverted back to normal.
"You all saw that, right?" Franklin pointed at Rei.
"Charge." Naomi and Miranda replies as Naomi wrote down the charge.
"Plus misspelling 'didn't'." Naomi added. "And calling Rei's uniform tacky. And, by proxy, insulting T.A. Girls' Academy! Does this guy have something against catholic schools or something?"
"You're roman catholic too?" Franklin asked.
"Yeah." Naomi nodded. "Even went to a private school growing up. White shirt, necktie, vest and blazer jacket, knee-length pleated skirt, white socks and loafers." Then she looked back at Dex and Rei. "Uh oh. I knew this is gonna happen."
Rei: Errrrrrrrrghhh! THAT'S IT! HIYA!
Rei aims a kick at Dex's face,Dex grabs her leg and flips her to the ground. Rei gets up, and lunges at Dex, Dex steps aside, and the watches Rei smash a shop window with her body.
Dex: (claps):Bravo! Do you do that proffesionally?
But then, Dex sees the reaction to this by the other girls,and sensing if he stays he'll get blood all over the streets of Tokyo, he sprints towards a nearby deserted park. Upon arrival at the park, Dex turns around to face the girls.
"Well that escalated quickly." Franklin said as he, Naomi and Miranda followed Dex and the Senshi into the park. "Charge for misspelling 'professionally'."
"And making Rei about as graceful as a rhinoceros on banana peels!" Naomi added.
Dex: Okay, if you ladies will back off now, I'll be willing to forget this whole thing.
Girls: (in unison):Never!
Dex: (sigh):Fine, don't say I didn't warn you.
Usagi: You won't be around long enough to hear us say anything! Moon Star Power!
Rei: Mars Star Power!
Minako: Venus Star Power!
Makoto: Jupiter Star Power!
Ami: Mercury Star Power!
Sailor Moon: On behalf of the moon we're going to punish you!
Sailor Mars: And Mars!
Sailor Mercury: And Merc-
Dex: Enough! If you wan't to fight, just say so! Quit with the idiotic speech!
Sailor Moon: Well, anyway, we're going to punish you!
Dex: Well,I've got just one thing to say to that.
Sailor Moon: What?
Dex: Ekto phase,activate!
The Senshi watch in awe as Dex's belt buckle begins to glow,and he is surrounded by a green aura of light,emerging from the aura as Masked Rider
Masked Rider: Now, I'll sat this just once more, surrender!
Masked Rider suddenly sat down when he said that.
"Charge for sticking an apostrophe in 'want' and misspelling 'Ectophase'." Franklin wrote in his notepad.
"Ectophase?"The two girls looked at him.
"Take my word for it. And 'sat' instead of 'say'. Jeez all these spelling and typing errors." Franklin pressed his thumb and forefinger to his nose just under the bridge of his glasses and shook his head.
"Wait a sec, 'Star Power'? That means we're in season 2 of 'Sailor Moon'." Naomi realized.
"You mean 'Sailor Moon R'." Miranda added. "But which story arc? An and Ail trying to save the Makai Tree? Or the Black Moon story arc with prince Demande and Wiseman trying to change history?"
"Well I didn't see Chibiusa anywhere, so we could be either in the first arc or between the two." Naomi answered. "That'll be my best guess. And, if that's the case shouldn't Usagi be saying 'Moon Crystal Power'?"
"Yeah, that's a charge." Miranda wrote it in her notepad.
Sailor Moon: We're not going to surrender, you're going to fry! Moon Tiara Actionnnnnnn!
Sailor Moon throws her glowing tiara at blinding speed, directly at Masked Riders head. Masked Rider catches the tiara and drops it harmlessly to the ground.
Masked Rider: Kid stuff! Is this the best you can do? I'm not even breaking a sweat!
Sailor Jupiter: Try this on for size! Supreme Thunderrrrrrrrrrrr!
An antenna extends from Sailor Jupiters tiara, lightning engulfs her, and she fires a lightning blast at Masked Rider. Masked Rider dodges, but the force of the lightning knocks him to the ground
"Seriously? Charge for making Sailor Moon's and Sailor Jupiter's attacks way too slow. And No apostrophe in 'Jupiter's tiara'." Miranda wrote down. "Why do I get the feeling this the same for the other sailor soldier attacks?"
"Right now I wouldn't be surprised." Naomi said. "That's not how they really work."
"Something tells me I should take your word for it." Franklin said. "I'm guessing there's a bit of a difference what's shown on the TV and how it really works in their home reality."
"You could say that." Naomi agreed. "Also, is it just me, or are the sailor soldiers' powers seem nerfed just to make Masked Rider look unstoppable?"
"Charge." Miranda replied. "There's no way he could easily catch that moon tiara. Not without messing his hand up. Even if he is wearing armor. Face it, he's NOT Jadeite"
"Yeah, I don't think he's THAT fast." Franklin agreed. "Something tells me that Dex may be a Gary Stu."
Masked Rider: Uggghhh! Not bad, but not good either!
Sailor Venus: Oh yeah? Eat this! Venus Love Me Chain!
Sailor Venus hurls the chain at Masked Rider, he grabs the chain and pulls, sending Sailor Venus flying into a large tree.
Masked Rider: And I love you too!
Sailor Mars: OHHHHH! Prepare to die! Burning Mandala!
Sailor Mars hurls several fire rings at Masked Rider.
Masked Rider: Uh oh! Electrosaber activate!
Masked Rider draws his sword, and slices the rings apart.
Masked Rider: Now it's my turn!
Sailor Moon: What does that mean?
Masked Rider: Basically this, Aiyaaa!
Masked Rider leaps into the air, in a eagle kick manuever, and kicks Sailor Moon in the stomach.
Sailor Moon: Accck! Gasp!
Masked Rider: Okay, Senshi, is knocking the wind out of your leader enough, or does this have to get serious?
At that moment, a giant ship swoops down towards the Senshi.
Sailor Mars: Master Jubei has come to save us! Hop on everybody!
Sailor Moon: Ha Ha! So long for now, bugboy!
Before Masked Rider can react,the ship picks up the Senshi,and carries them off.
Franklin, after writing down a charge for misspelling 'electro sabre', 'maneuver', 'bug boy' and 'a' instead of 'an' before a word starting with a vowel. Namely using 'a' instead on 'an' before eagle kick, scanned Dex with the field analyzer after he transformed back to his human form. "There we go. Let's see what the report says."
Before long the results scrolled up on the field analyzer's screen.
Name: Prince Dex/Dex Stewart
Gender: Male
Race: Human/Edenoite
Occupation: Prince in exile
Homeworld: Edenoi
Home Continuum: Saban's Masked Rider(American remake of Kamen Rider Black RX)
ATTN: 100% OOC, Replacement-class Gary Stu. Elimination recommended.
"Well, Just as I thought, Dex's been replaced by a Stu." Franklin confirmed as he watched the replacement walk out of the park.
"Okay, what the hell gives." Naomi said. "When did the Sailor Soldiers get a spaceship? And who the hell's Jubei? And why is he their master? That doesn't seem right."
"Yeah, The Sailor Soldiers never had a 'master'." Miranda added. "That's definitely a charge."
Franklin looked up at the words. "According to the words, we're at the end of chapter one. And chapter two starts on the following day. There should be a diner or a cafe nearby. Let's head over there and discuss a few things,"
"Sure." Naomi and Miranda nodded.
The three agents leave the park and before long they find an izakaya. After buying some lunches picked out by Miranda, they found themselves a private table and sat down.
"Wow, this isn't too bad." Franklin commented on his lunch, which he ate using a plastic fork. "Is Japanese food usually this tasty?"
"Oh right, this is your first time here." Miranda said, as she ate her lunch while using chopsticks.
"Yeah, you could say that." Franklin replied.
Now keep in mind that both Miranda and Naomi have been to Japan once before during their exchange program back in their home continuum. And Franklin, well, until recently he never left Canada.
"During that last fight we saw, I noticed that Sailor Mars was using 'Burning Mandala'." Miranda said. "Chances are good that this fic is set at the end of Sailor Moon R."
"You think so?" Franklin asked.
Meanwhile, Naomi was also enjoying her lunch while checking on the laptop. "At the end of season 2, huh? So Chibiusa would've gone home by then."
"Well, Naomi, find anything?" Franklin asked.
"There's no record of 'Jubei' appearing anywhere in either the Sailor Moon franchise. Or, for that matter, Anywhere in the Kamen Rider franchise prior to 2000."
"Safe to say, Jubei's a made-up character for this fanfic." Miranda said. "And possibly another Gary Stu we have to deal with."
"Right. Anyway something else's been bothering me." Naomi said. "If this Jubei's supposed to be the big bad in this fic, and the Sailor Senshi are his servants, does that mean they're the bad guys, well girls, too?"
"Just what kind of fic are we in?" Franklin asked.
"I think this might be an anti Sailor Moon fic." Miranda replied. "Naomi, can you bring up anything on the author?"
"Checking on it now…" Naomi did a search on the fic's author. "Ah, here we go. Looks like he had a web page at one time. There's even a link to it. Looking it up now."
Naomi accessed the author's web page. "Oh. Oh boy. Guys…" She turned the laptop around to face Franklin and Miranda. "He created an anti Sailor Moon web page."
The three agents read the web page.
"According to this, he used to be a fan of Sailor Moon when he was ten when it first came out." Franklin said. "And four years later, he now hates the show for a bunch of dumb reasons."
"Why?" Naomi asked.
"My guess, so he would look cool, hip and edgy to his friends as he got older." Franklin answered. "This sort of thing often happens when we're growing up."
"And he got all upsety spaghetti over another fanfic where Masked Rider got whupped by Sailor Moon. If I'm reading this right." Miranda added.
"Yeah, looked like he was quite a big fan of Masked Rider." Franklin said. "So yeah, he basically created a badly written anti Sailor Moon fanfic, made the Sailor Senshi villains with nerfed abilities and serving a made-up villain Stu."
"And we gotta deal with it." Naomi said. "But now I'm thinking about how we're gonna be dealing with it."
"Meaning?" Franklin asked.
"We might have to kill the Stu to fix this." Naomi answered. "Let's face it, back home we're police officers. We're not assassins."
"I know." Franklin nodded. "That's what they told us. And we were all given the option of backing out. Have our memories of ever meeting them erased and returned to our home realities never knowing anything of this. Even gave us some time to think about it. And we all made our decision, we all chose to stay. To protect ours and these other realities from the effects of bad fan fiction and bad fan comics."
"I know." Naomi replied. "Just that I'm having doubts about it that's all. Just not feeling too comfortable about being judge, jury and executioner."
"Yeah, I kinda feel the same way." Franklin said. "Anyway let's finish up lunch and portal on ahead to chapter two."
The three agents finish their meals. After leaving the izakaya they head over to a nearby alley. After making sure it was deserted and no one was looking, they opened the portal and skipped ahead to the following day.
They arrived just outside a video arcade just in time for the next chapter to start.
Chapter Two
The next day, Dex ponders several questions. Who is this "Jubei"? Why is he helping the Senshi? Where in blazes can you get good pizza in Tokyo?! Dex wanders into a video arcade, hoping to find some decent entertainment. As he struggles with the games, wasting a whole lot of quarters, he is approached by a teenage Japanese boy, who taps him on the shoulder.
Dex: Yes?
Boy: My name is Tsukuba, would you like me to show you how it's done?
Dex: Sure, you couldn't do any worse.
"Now then, let's see who do we have here?" Franklin took out the field analyzer and scanned Tsukuba.
Name: Hiroshi Tsukuba
Gender: Male
Race: Human/Cyborg
Occupation: Gliding enthusiast
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Kamen Rider Skyrider(1979-1980 TV series)
ATTN: 100% OOC, Replacement-class Gary Stu. Elimination recommended.
"So we're crossing over with Kamen Rider Skyrider now?" Franklin said. "And he's a replacement. That's a charge."
The Field Analyzer replied. "It sure looks like it. Also early scouting reports mention at least four more different Kamen Riders will appear."
"Okay so we got an Americanized version of Kamen Rider Black. And we now have a replacement of the main character from Kamen Rider Skyrider. A completely Different and older series." Miranda said.
"I think there have been crossover specials before in this franchise." Franklin replied.
"And not to nitpick but using American quarters in a Japanese video game booth? It doesn't work that way! I should know." Naomi said.
"Oh?" Franklin cocked his head. "Care to explain?"
"There's no such thing as a 25 yen coin." Naomi said. "The only denominations here are 1 yen, 5 yen, 10 yen, 50 yen, 100 yen and 500 yen."
"That and you once tried to use American quarters in one of those machines and found out that they didn't take 'em." Miranda said.
"Yeah, that too, heh heh." Naomi giggled, blushing slightly and rubbing the back of her head. And given her current disguise, looked really cute doing so.
"Then it's a charge for using the wrong currency?" Miranda asked.
"Yep." Naomi wrote down the charge. "And making those machines take 'em."
"Hmmm looks like they're gonna he here awhile…" Franklin looked up at the words. "'Bout two hours."
"Hey wanna pass the time?" Naomi suggested. "I mean, we're at a video game arcade."
"But we should keep an eye on the Stus." Franklin replied.
"Pleeeaaassseee!" Naomi begged. "I wanna play. I don't wanna spend two whole hours doing nothing!"
"Naomi." Franklin glared. "We're on the job, remember? We can't afford to be playing video games."
"Nuuuuh. You're mean. No fair." Naomi whined. She looked like she was about to cry.
"Hey why don't we just take turns." Miranda suggested. "One of us watches while the other two have some fun."
"Hmmmm…" Franklin pondered as…
"Pleeeaaassseee!" Naomi begged, fist up to her chin, her eyes all wide and dewy and looking REALLY cute. "With sugar on top?"
"Sigh. Oh alright." Franklin slumped his shoulders and acquiesced. "As long as you stop making that face, Naomi. Ease up on the cuteness already."
"YAAAY!" Naomi squeed. "C'mon! Let's go, Frank!" She grabbed Franklin by the arm and dragged him into the arcade.
"Hey! Whoa! Slow down Naomi!" Franklin yelped as he desperately tried to stay on his feet.
"Oh this is gonna be so much fun!" Naomi squeed. "Oh look! They got Dance Dance Revolution! Let's try that first!"
"Guess I'm taking first watch." Miranda giggled.
Tsukuba takes over, and makes it to the 12th level, as Dex watches in awe of his skill. Dex and Tsukuba alternate playing, and both take a liking to each other.
Meanwhile the agents took turns keeping watch. One watching the Stu while the other two played a few games. Nearly two hours passed by.
Tsukuba: Hey, Dex you're getting pretty good at this!
Dex: Well, I'm the ace of the arcade back home, and once I got past reading Japanese, it was easy.
Tsukuba: Well I'm out of quarters, besides, I have some guys I wan't you to meet.
Dex: Sure.
Dex and Tsukuba walk over to a table where four other boys sit,playing cards.
Tsukuba: Jou, Murasama, Ozi, Asou, this is Dex, he is an American, visiting Japan.
"Well back to work." A slightly winded Franklin said as he took out the field Analyzer. "Let's see where these four are from." He scanned Jou, Murasama, Ozi and Asou.
While he scanned, Miranda wrote down a charge for bad grammar. "It should be 'where the four other boys were seated and playing cards.'." She said.
Before long the field analyzer displayed the results:
Name: Shigeru Jo
Gender: Male
Race: Human/Cyborg
Occupation: Former Black Satan Agent
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Kamen Rider Stronger(1975-1976 TV series)
Canon Character
ATTN, 50% OOC, Under stufluience
Name: Ryo Murasama
Gender: Male
Race: Human/Cyborg
Occupation: Aircraft Pilot
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Kamen Rider ZX(1984 crossover special)
Canon Character
ATTN, 50% OOC, Under stufluience
Name: Kazuya Oki
Gender: Male
Race: Human/Cyborg
Occupation: Astronaut In Training
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Kamen Rider Super-1(1980-1981 TV series)
Canon Character
ATTN, 50% OOC, Under stufluience
Shouldn't he be a bit older? He's supposed to be in his 20's
Name: Masaru Aso
Gender: Male
Race: Human/Cyborg
Occupation: Former Assistant to Dr. Hiroshi Mochizuki
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Kamen Rider ZO(1993 Movie)
Canon Character
ATTN, 50% OOC, Under stufluience
"Charge for misspelling Kazuya's and Masaru's family names and charge for making Kazuya into a teenager." Franklin wrote down.
"I just noticed something." Naomi said. "All the Kamen Riders are all cyborgs. Part human, part robot."
"Yeah?" Franklin said.
"And weren't you trained to use Kamen Rider abilities?" Naomi asked.
"Yep." Franklin answered.
"Does that mean…?" Naomi nervously looked at Franklin.
"Yes, Naomi, beep beep boop bop, I AM a cyborg, boop bop bleep bleep." Franklin answered in a robotic accent while doing several stereotypical robotic poses. "Over 80% machine, circuits, and polymer muscle. Beep beep boop. Did I mention I was modified by Cyberdyne Robotics, Omni Consumer Products and the Borg. Beep boop bop. Freedom is irrelevant, individuality is irrelevant. Soon you will service...us!"
"EEEK!" Naomi recoiled, fist up to her chin and looking a bit spooked. "Don't come any closer!"
Franklin suddenly laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a killer cyborg, Naomi. I'm still a 100% flesh and blood Canuck. You shoulda seen the look on your face."
"Franklin, don't scare me like that." Naomi glared back.
"Honestly, you two." Miranda sighed and shook her head.
Meanwhile, back at the table.
Jou: Welcome to our country,you must have a interesting personality,to have kept Tsukuba over there for two hours
Tsukuba: Two hours?
Murasama: Yes, exactly, we timed you.
Ozi: Well, to be precise, two hours and 53 seconds.
Asou: Heh, you'll have to ignore him, he's the brain of our group.
Ozi: And Asou is a considerably lower part. (mumbled)
Tsukuba: Quit bickering! Listen, Dex we were going to go to Kabuki Theater and...
Dex stops listening to Tsukuba as he see's an unwelcome sight, Usagi and her friends.
"And guess who shows up." Naomi pointed to the approaching Senshi. "Wonder how many more charges we'll rack up now that they're here."
"Something tells me it's going to be quite a few, Naomi." Franklin replied.
Dex: (Thinks):If there's a fight, these guys could get hurt, gotta act fast!
Dex grabs Tsukuba by the arm, and pulls him towards the door.
Tsukuba: Hey, what are you doing?
Dex: I-uh, think we need some fresh Tokyo air!
Dex pulls Tsukuba out of the arcade, and does'nt stop till they're at the park. A few seconds later, the other boys arrive.
Followed by three agents disguised as generic Japanese students who hid behind a nearby tree.
Jou: What's going on? First you drag off our freind,and now some weird girls are chasing us.
Dex: How far behind are they?
Jou: About a block, but that doesn't answer my question.
Dex: I'll explain later, but now we've got to get out of here! We should have plenty of time.
"Charge for misspelling 'doesn't' and 'friend'." Miranda wrote down.
"I think we oughta make that a blanket charge." Naomi suggested. Then she saw the sailor soldiers show up. "Wow, that was fast."
Usagi: Wrong!
Jou: How did you get here so fast?
"That's what I'd like to know." Naomi said.
Usagi: Tokyo bus system is very efficent, but unfortunately, you won't be around long enough to use it ever again!
"Don't you mean your train system?" Miranda said. "Oh, and charge for misspelling 'efficient'."
"And I'm pretty sure they just followed on foot." Franklin said. "I know we did."
The girls transform into the Sailor Senshi, and Dex transforms into Masked Rider.
Masked Rider: Stand back guys, I'll handle this!
Tsukuba: Heh,heh, I don't think so! Henshin, activate Sky Rider!
Jou: Henshin, activate Kamen Rider Stronger!
Murasama: Henshin, activate Kamen Rider ZX!
Ozi: Henshin, activate Kamen Rider Super 1!
Asou: Henshin, activate Kamen Rider ZO!
The Senshi's jaws drop in disbeleif at the sight of the transformations.
Sailor Moon: (whining):No fair! Six against five!
As she spoke, a large buglike creature emerged from the bushes.
Sailor Mars: Ick! What is that!
Sky Rider: That's Shin Kamen Rider, he's a silent partner in our team.
"And charge for misspelling 'disbelief' and 'bug like'." Franklin wrote down. "I agree with Naomi, we should make misspellings a blanket charge."
"See?" Naomi replied. Then she looked at Skin Kamen Rider. "Oh EWWW! What the hell's wrong with that guy!? He looks like some kinda butt-ugly bug monster! GROSS!"
"Shin Kamen Rider! Oh boy, I better scan him." Franklin scanned the mutant.
Name: Shin Kazamatsuri
Gender: Male
Race: Human/Scientific Mutation
Occupation: Professional Motorcyclist
Homeworld: Earth, Japan
Home Continuum: Shin Kamen Rider Prologue (1992 Horror Movie)
Canon character, ATTN, very unstable in rider form, extremely dangerous to friend and foe
"Well this day just keeps getting better." Franklin shook his head.
"So does it mean it's now seven against five?" Naomi asked as she pointed at Shin Kamen Rider. "Or will it be six against six? Or maybe he'll start tearing at all of 'em?"
"The latter two theories will be unlikely, Naomi." Franklin replied. "Chances are good he'll be stufluenced by Not!Dex."
Sky Rider: That's Shin Kamen Rider, he's a silent partner in our team.
Masked Rider: Well guys, I have to admit, you're full of surprises!
Sky Rider: That's part of the superhero biz, it comes with the territory.
Sailor Moon: Enough chit-chat! On behalf of the moon-
Masked Rider: Yeah, yeah, you're gonna punish us, sure.
Sky Rider: We are the Japanese Kamen Riders! We have been wanting to find you troublemakers since you were syndicated!
Sailor Moon: You will not escape us! We are(strikes a pose) the Sailor Scouts!
Kamen Rider ZX: Heh, heh, heh.
Sailor Mars: Whats so funny?!
Kamen Rider ZX: Wait 'til I tell people I saw some weird girl in a sailor suit striking poses in the middle of Tokyo park!(burst out laughing)
"Where do we even start!?" All three agents facepalmed.
"Jeez Louise! Who the hell wrote this fic!? A 14 year old edge lord wannabe!?" Naomi said.
"Right now that wouldn't surprise me." Franklin replied. Then he looked back up at Not!Sky Rider's phrase. "Not to mention it looks like they're leaning the fourth wall here."
"What do you mean?" Naomi asked.
" 'We have been wanting to find you troublemakers since you were syndicated!'." Franklin replied. "How would they know that Sailor Moon was syndicated across various stations around the world?"
"Think it should be a charge?" Miranda asked.
"Honestly, I don't really know." Franklin replied. "I don't think it warrants one."
Sailor Moon: You'll pay for that! Moon tiara actionnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
Sailor Mars: Mars firrrree soulllll!
Kamen Rider ZX dodges the combined attack.
"Oh jeez, make 'em slower than molasses in February on Ellesmere Island why dontcha." Naomi rolled her eyes.
Franklin raised an eyebrow.
They continued to watch the one-sided fight between the overpowered Stus and the nerfed sailor soldiers(That have been stufluenced into acting like villains)
Masked Rider: Once again, my turn! MASKED RIDER SUPER GOLD!
Masked Rider transforms into the steel armored Super Gold.
M.R. Super Gold: Rider punch!
M.R. Super Gold's fist collides with Sailor Mars, sending her flying into a tree, and knocking her out cold.
Sky Rider: Rider blow!
Sky Rider's powerful karate chop immobilizes Sailor Moon, and dislocates her shoulder.
Sailor Venus: How dare you treat the moon princess like that! Crescent Beammmm!
The beam hits Sky Rider, sinjing his armor.
Sky Rider leaps high into the air, dissapearing from sight.
Sailor Venus, thinking she scared him off, walks over to the spot wher he had been standing.
Sailor Venus: Ha! He-
Her words are cut off, as Sky Rider decends from the sky, right on top of her.
Sky Rider: Okay where'd she go?!
Super Gold: Let's just say your gonna have to clean those boots!
Franklin was already writing down charges for misspelling 'singeing','disappearing', 'where' and 'descend' when he saw what just happened. "What the fuck!?" The pen and pad slipped from his hands and fell to the ground. You know it's bad when he starts to use swear-words.
"Oh my god!" Miranda gasped. "Did he… Did he just…"
Franklin scanned the remains.
ATTN, Sailor Venus status: Deceased
"He killed Sailor Venus." Franklin said, looking just as aghast at the grisly bloody sight. "That son of a bitch just killed a canon."
"No way!" Naomi gasped. "I thought they were just gonna beat up the sailor soldiers and lock 'em away somewhere. This is just… Like you said, Franklin, what the fuck!?"
The three shocked agents look on as things get worse for the sailor soldiers.
Sailor Mercury: It's not over yet! Shining aqua illusionnnnn!
The wall of water surrounds K.R. Super 1
Super 1: Freezing hot hands!
The energy that shot from his hands either froze the water or boiled it, it's hard to say.
Super 1: Now,this is for getting me wet! Power hands!
Super 1's hand touches Sailor Mercury, and she falls to ground, limp. At this sight,the rest of the Senshi surrender, and are bound with chains.
"That is not how power hands work." Franklin picked up his pen and notepad. "I'm charging for that, Along with killing Sailor Venus."
"How do power hands work?" Naomi asked.
"Power hands are supposed to enable Super-1 to lift up to 500 tons. Looks like this fic's confusing them with Elec hands, which are capable of generating up to 10,000 volts. Which means…"
He scanned Sailor Mercury's body.
ATTN, Sailor Mercury status: Deceased
"Just As I thought. Death by electrocution."
"Charge for killing Sailor Mercury." Naomi wrote down. "I think this is gonna break canon big time. So I'm charging for causing a canon break."
"Yeah, I agree." Franklin nodded.
Kamen Rider ZX: Now to finish this! using his concentrated bomb, he bores a hole in the ground that leads to a deep unescapeable cavern. The Sensi are thrown in, and the hole is sealed.
Then the field analyzer flashed a message on the screen.
ATTN. Massive explosion detected underground.
Sailor Moon status: Deceased
Sailor Mars status: Deceased
Sailor Jupiter status: Deceased
All Inner Senshi Deceased
WARNING: Canon Break imminent. Stus must be terminated. Repeat, Stus must be terminated!
Super Gold: I don't understand one thing, who is this "Jubei"?
Kamen Rider ZX: I don't know, but he's with the Senshi, we've got to stop him, and fast!
To be continued...…
Then the two stus and four controlled canons left the park.
As soon as they were out of sight. "Open a portal to that cavern!" Naomi said. "I gotta go check on them!"
"But you heard the report, Naomi. They're all dead!" Miranda replied.
"I know, dammit!" Naomi snapped back. "But we have to try to recover their bodies!"
Franklin typed in the coordinates of the inescapable cavern. "Portal open" He said as the portal opened. "Be careful, I'm detecting a lot of smoke and rock dust. Might want to wait a few minutes for the portal to vent the air. Miranda, let me borrow your scarf."
"Huh?" Naomi asked.
"I'm coming in with you." Franklin replied as he took Miranda's scarf and tied it to his lower face, covering his nose and mouth. He gave Miranda the portal generator.
Naomi tied her scarf over her lower face covering heir nose and mouth as dust and smoke billowed out through the portal. After waiting a few moments as fresh air flowed through the portal. "Okay, Franklin let's go." Both she and Franklin entered While Miranda stayed outside with the portal generator to keep it open.
They emerged out a moment later covered in dirt, soot, and rock dust. Holding a few twisted tiaras and a length of chain in their dirty sweaty hands.
"That's, cough cough, That's all we could find." Franklin coughed as he and Naomi caught their breath, pulling their scarves down to breathe easier.
"It was nothing but a big pile of rock down there." Naomi said. "It was so dusty down there. We couldn't breathe.
"Is that all you two found?" Miranda asked.
"Yeah." Naomi sighed. "What's left of their tiaras and the chain that they used to tie 'em up when they threw 'em down there."
"If I didn't know any better, I think that Kamen Rider ZX stuffed another concentrated bomb in amongst the remaining girls after they tied' em up". Franklin said. "Damn thing must have been like a really powerful thermite grenade. Powerful enough to reduce their bodies to, well, what we came out with."
Suddenly there were interrupted by another voice. "Huh? Wha? How did I get here? And who are you three?"
The three agents turned their attention to this somewhat confused Japanese man standing in the same bushes where, earlier, Shin Kamen Rider stood.
"Oh don't tell me I transformed again." The confused man said.
"Um, Lemme guess. You're Shin Kazamatsuri, Right?" Naomi asked pointing at the confused man.
"Uh, Yes, yes I am." Shin Replied, pointing at his face. "How did you know?"
The three agents looked at each other.
"Uh, what are we gonna do with Shin." Naomi asked.
"I think it's best we return him to his home continuum. Miranda can you give me the generator." Franklin replied and he took the portal generator from Miranda. "Portal generator, can you get me the home coordinates for Shin Kazamatsuri, home continuum; Shin Kamen Rider."
The screen for the portal generator showed 'searching'. After a few moments, the screen read. 'Coordinates uploaded. Select destination'.
Franklin selected Shin's apartment and activated the portal. "Now before you go, Mr. Kazamatsuri…" Then he took out his sunglasses and put them on. "Miranda, if you may?"
Miranda nodded and she and Naomi put on their sunglasses. Then Miranda approached Shin.
"Uh, what's that?" Shin pointed at the portal. "And why are you three kids now wearing sunglasses? Not to mention, why do you two…"
Shin pointed at Franklin and Naomi. "Look so dirty?"
"Don't worry, Mr. Kazamatsuri." Miranda pulled out her neuralyzer. "Please look here."
Shin looked right at Miranda's neuralyzer and…
*FLASH*
Shin's expression went from confused to vacant. "Okay, Mr. Kazamatsuri, you didn't transform into Shin Kamen Rider and brought over to a generic Tokyo park to watch a bunch of stus kill the Sailor Senshi. And you never met three other dimensional agents disguised as middle school students, namely us. Just step through that portal and go to bed, you're tired. Okay?"
Shin vacantly nodded and stepped through the portal to his home. "He'll feel better the next morning." Miranda said as the portal closed. "Unless that Stu brings him back."
"Negative, Miss Kitteridge." The field analyzer replied. "Initial reports mention he makes only one appearance in this fanfic. Same goes for Shigeru, Ryo, Kazuya, and Masaru. You can find them back at that arcade. Also there is another chapter coming up. The Sailor Senshi will be resurrected for this upcoming chapter. You will have another chance to save them. It is strongly recommended that you do not fail. Medical does not like resurrecting canon corpses."
"Well if that's the case and we gotta be assassins instead of cops…" Naomi turned her back to Franklin and Miranda and looked up at the words. "In order to save Sailor Moon. Both her, her friends and this reality…" She took in a deep breath and let out a sigh. "I guess we're gonna squash some bugs."
She turned around to face the others. "So yeah, I'm going after those Stus and I'm gonna kill every single one of 'em." She declared, a look of determination on her face.
"Yeah I feel that we're now on fair grounds to use deadly force here." Franklin said. "So yeah, I'm in."
"Me too." Miranda added. "I want to save this continuum too. And I'm ready to go up against those bastards."
"Right. We'll either die gloriously…" Franklin declared. "Or we'll save Sailor Moon and kill those fucking Stus. But first thing's first. We'll have to get the other four Kamen Rider canons back to their home realities."
The three agents returned to the arcade and found Shigeru, Ryo, Kazuya(Now as an adult) and Masaru sitting at their card table. All four riders were looking somewhat confused.
"Excuse me…" Franklin addressed the riders. "You four look kind of confused. Is there anything wrong?"
"Huh?" Who are you kids?" Kazuya asked first.
"We're just concerned citizens. Actually we're other dimensional agents disguised as Japanese middle students. And we know who your four are, Kamen Riders Stronger, ZX, Super-1 and ZO." Franklin answered.
"And we know what you four did. We saw it happen." Naomi said.
The four rider looked completely surprised.
"Did you, Kazuya, electrocute Sailor mercury with your Elec Hands?" Miranda asked. "Yes or no."
"I...I think I did." Kazuya answered. "But at the time I called them my Power Hands. It was like I wasn't in control of myself. Like something was making me do these things. And Was I ten years younger too?"
"Believe it or not you were." Franklin answered. "Not to mention…"
"Wait." Ryo interrupted. "If that he said was true then…" He paused for a moment as he recalled the things he done under stufluience. "Oh no what have I done."
Ryo buried his face in his hands.
"I killed them." He continued. "I chained up the remaining three girls, threw them down a hole along with the girl that was electrocuted and the girl that was crushed to a pulp. Then I sealed up the cavern and detonated the concentrated bomb I planted with the girls." Tears were pouring down his face as he started to cry.
"And… And earlier I was trash-talking at them like I was a 14 year old idiot. Dammit what the hell happened to us!?"
"Franklin, What are we going to do?" Naomi asked. "We can't have that on their conscience. It's clear they're innocent. They couldn't help themselves under that Stu's control."
Franklin nodded and put on his sunglasses again and took out his neuralyzer. Naomi and Miranda also put on their sunglasses as well.
"Shigeru, Ryo, Kazuya, Masaru? Could you please look here?" Franklin asked. The four Kamen Riders looked at Franklin and his neuralyzer…
*FLASH*
"Alright. You four never met each other. And you never, under mind control, encountered and killed the Sailor Senshi. And you never met us. As far as you're concerned, none of this ever happened." Franklin told the now neutralized canons.
Then he activated the portal generator. And sent each canon through, one at a time after setting each of their home reality's coordinates.
"Well that takes care of those guys." He said as he closed the portal after Masaru stepped through.
"I think what you did was for the best." Miranda said. "The Kamen Riders are supposed to be heroes, not hate-driven murderers."
"Yeah I didn't want that on their conscience either. They should be fine once the neutralizer's effects wear off. I think we should head back to base to clean up and get better gear. Then we're heading on to Nagasaki. That's where the next chapter happens."
Franklin opened up a portal back to headquarters and he, Naomi and Miranda went through…
(Nagasaki)
The portal opened up and Franklin, Naomi and Miranda emerged, still in their Japanese middle school student disguises (now cleaner of course). After they set themselves to normal format to avoid suffering the effects of the bad fic they look up to see the following words.
Masked Rider Vs. Sailor Moon Part II
CREDITS:
Leung and Marc Miyake,who's info was material to the first fanfic.
Nazal,who got me ticked off enough to write this.
,who inspired me to write part II
Rider MX,who just sort of deserves a mention in the credits.
Masked Rider Vs. Sailor Moon
By:Kamen Rider Dragon
Edited by:Kamen Rider Dragon
Rated:VBAFSM (Violence,blood and fried Sailor Moon)
Masked Rider Vs. The Sailor Senshi Part II
"No space behind the colon. That's a charge." Franklin wrote down the charge.
"So we're in Nagasaki now." Naomi said.
"This was where the Portuguese landed back in 1543 and set up a Jesuit mission and trade with Europe, along with the Spanish, Dutch and English until 1637." Miranda said.
"And when the U.S. dropped the second atomic bomb, Fat Man, on this city back in 1945." Naomi said. "About 80,000 people mostly civilians going about their business died as a result. Who knows how many more died from radiation sickness in the following years."
"Sometimes I wonder if it was necessary." Naomi continued. "Dropping two nukes on Japan. But at the time, we felt it was necessary to hasten the end of WW2. And, in a way, it did." She turned to face both Franklin and Miranda. "I'm not apologizing for what we did nearly 80 years ago. It was war. We did what we had to do." She stated, hands on her hips and giving them a 'so there' expression.
"Yeah, I guess." Franklin replied. "You shouldn't have to apologize for something someone else did a long time ago. And even with those who made the decision to drop those bombs, it was probably not an easy decision to make. A terrible decision, sure. But in the end, it was probably the right one."
"Yeah, Franklin." Naomi said. "It probably was."
Before long they saw Not!Dex and Not!Hiroshi walking down the street.
After leaving Tokyo,Dex continues his tour of Japan to Nagasaki.
Dex:Well,here I am,Nagasaki,the glow-in-the-dark capitol of the world.
Tsukuba:Hey! What happened here was a tragedy!
Dex:Sorry,just a joke.
"Doesn't feel like a joke to me. That's a charge." Naomi wrote down. "Talk about tasteless."
"Yeah, I kinda notice something about Not!Dex." Miranda said. "It seems that he's got a prejudice against Japan and it's culture."
"Yeah I noticed that too." Franklin said. "Makes me wonder about the stuthor who wrote this bad fic at the time."
"Yeah, it's like he hates Japan for creating Sailor Moon. And yet he loves the Kamen Rider franchise, which is also from Japan." Naomi said. "And it's showing big time in that replacement of Dex."
Tsukuba:Apology accepted. It's a good thing I accompanied you,after what happened in Tokyo-
Dex:Oh come on,Tsukuba! We fried the Senshi!
Tsukuba:I know,but menaces like the Senshi are not usually so easily dealt with
"No period at the end of that sentence. And using a hyphen instead of a period." Miranda said. "That's a charge."
Just then, the field Analyzer started beeping. Franklin took it out of his bag of holding and looked at the message appearing on the screen.
ATTN, Deceased canons resurrected and approaching.
Canon break currently not imminent.
Stu elimination STILL recommended.
"I think they're back." Franklin said.
"The Sailor Senshi?" Naomi asked.
"Who else." Miranda answered as Usagi appeared on the scene.
Usagi:Menace? That's sounds like a battle cue to me!
Tsukuba(and Miranda):Told you.
Dex:Oh,don't rub it in. Hey! Wait,I saw you fry yourself with your own tiara! How can you be here?!
"Fried herself with her own tiara? Did you two see that happen?" Franklin asked, looking a bit confused.
"No." Naomi shook her head. "I never saw that happen."
"Me neither." Miranda added. "It's as though the stuthor didn't bother to re-check his own work when he wrote this chapter. Charge for creating a hole in the plot(Such as it is)."
Usagi:What you destroyed were Senshi clones Ami built so we could sit around and do nothing.
Rei:Which wouldnt've been a change for you.
Usagi:Shut up,Rei.
Minako:Besides,if those had REALLY been us,youd've lost!
All three agents facepalmed. Loudly.
"Clones. Really?" All three said.
"Jeez I know Ami's supposed to be brainy AF, but making clones? Really? Even by Sailor Moon standards that's not possible. It's Sailor Moon for crying out loud. Not Fallout 4. Oh I am SO writing down a charge for that! And bad contractions. Should have been 'wouldn't have' and 'you'd have'." And That's what Naomi did.
"If you say so, Naomi." Miranda said.
Dex:Uh huh,yeah,you would've hurt me with your little tiara.
Usagi:I don't even need my tiara to take care of you! Hiya!
Usagi attempts to eagle-kick Dex.
Dex:Aiya! (blocks and strikes Usagi)
Usagi:That's it! Moon Star Powerrrrrrrrr!
The rest of the Senshi follow suit,and transform.
Sailor Moon:Now,on behalf of the Moon-
Dex:Yeah,yeah,I've heard it all before,cut to the chase.
Sailor Moon:Okay,we're going to punish you!
Dex:Right,navy girl. Ekto Phase Activate!
Dex tranforms into the mighty insectoid,Masked Rider!
Tsukuba,assuming his henshin(transformation) pose,transforms into Sky Rider.
"And here we go again." Franklin said.
"Think we have enough charges?" Naomi asked after writing down a charge for misspelling 'transforms'.
Sky Rider:We beat your stupid clones,and we'll beat you too! Sky Rider Bl-
Masked Rider:Ahem,aren't you forgetting something?
Sky Rider:Oh,yeah,it's your code of honor not to fight before giving them a chance to surrender,right?
Masked Rider:Right. We give you one chance to surrender!
Sky Rider:Now listen while they all shout "NEVER!"
Senshi:(in unison):NEVER!
Masked Rider:Boy,you can really call it,Tsukuba.
Sky Rider:It's a gift I have.
Masked Rider:Anyway,then we are forced to destroy you!
"Code of honor? Riiight." Naomi snarked. "They sure didn't show that in the last chapter."
"Man They're sure making the Senshi carry the villain ball. That's for sure." Miranda added.
Sailor Moon:We'll see about that! Moooonnnnnn Tiaraaaa Actionnnnnnn!
Sailor Moon throws her tiara,and Masked Rider deftly steps aside.
Sailor Moon:WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!How come that never works?! #$% #!
Masked Rider:Because you take five minutes to say it! I mean, by the time you were done with "Moon",Sky Rider would have already been behind you,ready to knock you out cold with one punch!
Sailor Moon:Really?
Sky Rider:(behind Sailor Moon):Yes,really! Sky Rider Blow!
Sky Rider's knife hand blow sends Sailor Moon flying into a shrine.
"Did I just hear Sailor moon cuss?" Miranda asked, looking really surprised.
"Yes you heard Sailor moon cuss." Franklin answered.
"Should that be a charge then?" Miranda asked.
"YES!" Franklin and Naomi answered.
"Okay then, just making sure." Miranda wrote down the charge.
Sailor Venus:I'll take care of you! Venus-Love-Me-Chain!
An incredibly dorky-looking chain of hearts forms around Sailor Venus and she hurls it at Sky Rider. Sky Rider ducks,and the chain wraps around Sailor Mercury's neck.
The three agents facepalm(again) at the sheer clumsiness of Sailor Venus' botched attack.
"Oh god! Jar Jar Binks would've done a better job." Naomi said.
Sailor Mercury:(choking):Accck!Get me out of this,Minako!
Sailor Venus:Oh no! I'm coming,Ami!
Masked Rider and Sky Rider turn their attention to Sailors Mars and Jupiter, who are helping Sailor Moon up.
Masked Rider:(speaks into wrist communicator):Chopper! Rev up!
Masked Rider's powerful talking Combat Chopper bike teleports onto the scene.
Chopper:I'm with you,boss!
Masked Rider jumps onto Chopper and rides toward Sailor Mars.
Masked Rider:(hits Sailor Mars):Shall we dance?
Sky Rider:Nice job,but watch this!
Sky Rider leaps into the sky,and comes down moments later,glowing with power.
Sky Rider:In case you did'nt know,I accumulate energy descending from the air!
Masked Rider:Cool.
Sky Rider:I'm not done yet! Sky Rider kick!
Sky Rider's kick hits Sailor Jupiter squarely in the stomach.
Sailor Jupiter:(coughs up blood):That d-did'nt h-hurt. GASP!
Sailor Mars:Big mistake! Marrrrrss Firrrrrreeee Soulllll!
Sky Rider caught off guard,gets hit by the fireball,knocked to the ground,and his armor is badly sinjed
Sailor Mars:Yes! Ha! I finally got him! Now to finish it! Burning Mand-
Her words are cut off by Sky Rider's fist constricting around her neck.
Sky Rider:You little brat! I just had this armor polished!(squeezes tighter)
Franklin suddenly looked up at the words. "Oh Shit! Naomi! Miranda! WE MOVE NOW!" He took out his disguise pen as he broke cover and ran towards Not!Sky Rider, who was still choking Sailor Mars.
"Transform! Kamen Mountie F!" He started to transform and pick up speed. A LOT of speed. He was accelerating towards them like a 1969 Dodge Charger R/T.
Sailor Mars:(choking):Acccckk! Okay,I'm aaaaacck! sorry I hit you,now(gurgle) could we maybe discuss this over an espresso or accccck! something?
Sky Rider:NO! SKY RIDER-
"NOT SO FAST! T-BATON LEFT JAB!" Kamen Mountie F shouted as he stood between the Not!Sky Rider and Sailor Mars. His voice now sounded a bit like Mr. Canoehead from '4 On The Floor'.
Not!Sky Rider barely notice a reddish blur in his field of view when felt something really hard hit him in his abdomen. Despite his armor, he felt his breath shoot out of his lungs. He suddenly released his grip on Sailor Mars' neck as…
"T-BATON RIGHT HOOK!"
Not!Sky Rider felt another powerful blow struck him on the left side of his face, where his jaw met his skull. The blow sent him flying back over seventy feet.
"And I got another one for you too! T-BATON LEFT UPPERCUT!" The red blur landed a blow to Not!Masked Rider, hitting him square on the chin.
Masked Rider:(Sailing through the air in an arc after being struck on the chin):AIYAAAAA!
Masked Rider sails through the air,he lands on top of a car next to Sky Rider caving in the roof.
Unggh!
Masked Rider shakes his head.
Masked Rider:What just hit me?!
Sky Rider:Tha'ts what I wan't to know!
Sky Rider sits back up.
They both look back in the direction of their attacker.
When they looked up to see what struck them, they saw another Kamen Rider standing between them and Sailor Mars. This new rider's armor was red and black, but was stylized to resemble an R.C.M.P. red surge uniform. Even the top part of his helmet resembled a brown stetson hat(with antennae sticking up through the brim). He was holding a pair of black t-batons that gleamed like tempered steel and looked to be just as strong.
Kamen Mountie F looked over his shoulder at Sailor Mars, sitting on the pavement and coughing as she caught her breath.
"Are you okay, Sailor Mars?" He asked.
"Cough cough… Yeah, I think so… Cough cough… Thank for coming to my rescue, Tuxedo…" Then she looked up and saw her rescuer. "WHA!? Wait a sec! You're not Tuxedo Mask! You're another one of those bug boys!"
"Right. You could say that." Kamen Mountie F nodded.
Sailor Mars pointed at Kamen Mountie F. "And why do you look like a… Huh? Wait a minute. I'm not saying my actions. And well… All of a sudden I don't feel like I'm being made to act like a Saturday morning cartoon villainess. And who are you!?"
"Me? Call me Kamen Mountie F, a Kamen Rider from Canada. And yes, as you can tell, I'm an officer in the R.C.M.P" Kamen Mountie F answered.
Just then, Naomi ran up. "Hey, Fr- I mean, Kamen Mountie F, Why'd you run out like that!?"
Kamen Mountie F pointed up at the sky. "That's why." He said.
Naomi looked up and saw the words in question. She gasped when she read them…
Sky Rider:NO! SKY RIDER BLOW!
At such close range,the blow breaks every bone in Sailor Mars' body,and she falls limp to ground.
(Enter Tuxedo Kamen)
"Oh my god!" Naomi looked back at Kamen Mountie F. "If you hadn't transformed and rushed out there…"
"Sailor Mars would've ended up dead again with her entire skeleton shattered." Kamen Mountie F finished. Then he noticed someone nearby. "Oh, and guess who showed up."
Both Kamen Mountie F and Naomi turned to see Tuxedo Kamen standing on a roof, looking as dapper as ever.
Tuxedo Kamen:How dare you do that to my girlfriend! You will pay for that!
Tuxedo Kamen throws a rose into the ground next to Masked Rider.
Masked Rider:Who are you? The Tuxedo Rose Throwing Dweeb-Boy?
Tuxedo Kamen:No! I'm,(strikes a pose)Tuxedo Kamen!
Masked Rider:HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Right,you look like Japan's answer to Barney! HA HA HA HA HA!
Needless to say, Tuxedo Mask briefly turned into Barney the purple dinosaur, wearing a stylish tuxedo. Then he turned back into a human.
Not!Masked Rider continued to speak (No quotation marks in this bad fic, remember).
Tuxedo Kamen Throws a rose directly at Masked Rider's chest,and being as as how Masked Rider is wearing thick armor,it bounces right off him.
Just then,Jubei's ship descends from the sky,it's weapons aimed at our intrepid heroes!
Yikes! A cliffhanger! Stay tuned for Part III,"Masked Rider Sailor Senshi,The Final Battle!"
"Yo, Tuxedo Dude, Mars is still okay you know!" Naomi called out. "Ya didn't need to toss a rose at that dweeb! And aren't you supposed to be interested in bun head over there!?" She thumbed over at Sailor Moon.
"Hey!" Sailor moon and Tuxedo Mask protested.
"Only I get to call her that!" Tuxedo Mask added.
"Really, Naomi?" Miranda added as she knelt down next to Sailor Jupiter and opened up her bag of holding.
"He can't help himself. He's being controlled by the fic." Kamen Mountie F said.
"I know. But still…" Naomi replied, then she looked at not!Masked Rider. "And you keep your fucking trap shut, you bug faced dweeb! We don't need you turning people into well dressed purple dinosaurs!"
She pointed at Tuxedo Mask.
"Especially him!" Naomi said. "Oh that is SO a charge! We'll deal with you and your fellow dweeb in a sec."
Then Naomi looked up at the ship. "And what are we gonna do with that!?"
"I'm not sure to be honest. Seems to be just floating there." Kamen Mountie F answered, stroking his chin. Then he looked at Miranda, who was tending Sailor Jupiter's injuries. "How's Sailor Jupiter doing?"
"She's going to need medical!" Miranda replied as she injected a stimpack(Fallout issue, of course) into Sailor Jupiter. "She's got a badly damaged stomach and in a lot of pain! I've just administered a stimpack to speed up healing!" She looked at Sailor Jupiter, who was still coughing up blood. "Please sit still! Give the stimpack a chance to work!"
"I'm te-telling you, I-I'm fine… cough cough." Sailor Jupiter tried to get back up. "I...cough cough… I can still… GAAAH!" She clutched her stomach as the pain from the Stu's kick shot through her body.
Miranda, both hands on Sailor Jupiter's shoulders, pushed Sailor Jupiter back into sitting.
"No you're not!" Miranda said. "You're obviously in a LOT of pain and spitting up blood! Now sit the hell down! You're in no shape to fight. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to hold you down! Especially in my current state as a 14 year old Japanese schoolgirl!"
"She's right, Makoto." Sailor Mercury agreed as she knelt down besides them. She rubbed her neck from where she was almost strangled earlier. "We don't want to lose you again."
"How do you think I feel about the rest… cough cough… The rest of you? You know wh-what those monsters did to us, Ami?"
"I know." Sailor Mercury replied. "I saw Minako get crushed, and I was electrocuted. Then…" She looked at Sailor Moon. "I remember being in a really dusty smoky cavern. I saw that you transformed into princess Serenity."
"Yeah, when that bomb went off, I must've instantly transformed to her." Sailor moon replied. "I used my powers to restore you guys back to life and teleport us to someplace safe."
"And once we were out of that cavern we turned back to our normal forms." Sailor Mercury continued. That...That thing…" She looked at Not!Masked Rider. "Showed up in his 'Dex' form and took control of again. He said he wasn't done humiliating us. He teleported us to Nagasaki and… Well you three showed up." There were tears pouring down her face. "You broke their hold on us. Thank you."
"Yeah, We've been tracking those two." Miranda glared at Not!Masked Rider and Not!sky Rider. "Excuse me."
She stood up and walked over to Naomi and Kamen Mountie F. "You two boys are in a heap of trouble!" She said, left hand on her hip, right hand pointing at Not!Masked Rider and Not!Sky Rider.
Masked Rider:W'ere in a heap of trouble?!
Masked Rider points at Kamen Rider F
How dare you interfere in our fight with these stupid Sailor Sensei,you stupid imposter,(points at the two schoolgirls next to him)and your two stupid sailor uniform wearing girlfriends!
Sky Rider:I'm gonna make you pay for interrupting my punishment of that stupid little brat,Sailor Mars
Sky Rider points at Kamen Mountie F
And you scuffed up my armor even more,you stupid looking jerk!Jeez wha'ts up with your stupid armor?! Yo'ure trying to be a Mountie or something?!(looks at the two schoolgirls)And you two look just as silly in those stupid sailor outfits.
"Yeah, we've seen you react when your armor gets scuffed." Miranda replied. "Honestly, talk about petty vanity. Getting upset over dirtied armor. What did you expect? You go into combat, it's going to get scuffed and dented, at least."
"To react like that over a few dents and messed up polish from a battle? Oh, heaven forbid if you were ever to break a nail. However would you handle such a blemish?" Naomi mockingly added, hand on her forehead in a melodramatic pose. "Can we press charges now? I wanna transform and knock their blocks off and shove 'em up their butts!"
"Right…" Kamen Mountie F took out the notepad and began to read the charges.
"Not!Masked Rider and Not!sky Rider, AKA Dex Stewart and Hiroshi Tsukuba, Aka Gary Stu, You two have been charged with the following offenses committed against this reality.
Being replacements of both Dex Stuart of Saban's Masked Rider and Hiroshi Tsukuba of Kamen Rider Skyrider.
Using a script-fic format with no quotation marks, Causing the reality to confuse spoken lines with action lines. Treating them as one and the same.
No spacing between paragraphs. Causing intense air pressure and agents to be extremely uncomfortable.
Massive misspellings, no space behind comma, incorrect placement of apostrophe."
"That would be bad enough." Naomi said. "But wait, it gets better."
Kamen Mountie F continued.
"Because of the aforementioned lack of Quotation marks, you made Japan literally stink.
Made the locals wear really tasteless late 1970's clothing.
Made miss Hino turn miss Tsukino, miss Mizuno, miss Kino and miss Aino into barnyard chickens.
Caused miss Hino's school uniform to sprout various animal ears when you insulted said uniform.
Caused Tuxedo Mask to transform into Barney the Purple Dinosaur in a tuxedo."
"Wait a sec." Sailor Mars Interrupted. "I actually turned my friends, even Usagi into chickens!?"
"Yeah you kinda did." Miranda answered.
"Guess that explained why I suddenly had a craving for chicken feed the other day." Sailor Venus said.
"You too?" Sailors Moon, Mercury and Jupiter added.
"So that's why I felt really goofy and heavy all of a sudden." Tuxedo Mask said as he scratched his chin. "And suddenly wanting to munch on some triceratops spare ribs."
"Can I continue?" Kamen Mountie F asked. Then he continued with the charges.
"Ridiculing Japanese culture, and Japanese female school uniforms. Yes, that includes miss Hino's uniform.
Making the Sailor Senshi OOC by having them act like cartoon villainesses.
Having Sailor Moon say the incorrect activation phase. This IS the end of Sailor Moon R, right?
Making them clumsy.
Making their attacks slower than molasses in February on Ellesmere Island, at Cape Colombia no less.
Nerfing said attacks to make you look all powerful.
Creating a character named 'Jubei' and making this character the Senshi's 'master'.
Making Japanese arcade games take American quarters.
Controlling four Kamen Rider canons to help you and your fellow Stu beat up and kill the sailor Soldiers, causing a temporary canon break as a result(However, thanks to princess Serenity, they got better)
Calling Nagasaki the 'Glow In The Dark capitol of the world'.
Making the lame excuse that the last 'victory' was really against 'clones' created by Sailor Mercury. She's smart, sure, but not THAT smart. No offense, Sailor Mercury.
Bringing up a non existent event, namely Sailor moon being fried by her own tiara creating a hole in your own plot.
Making Sailor Moon cuss.
Being Gary-Stus.
Being a racist Japan basher.
And generally pissing me, and my fellow agents off.
You have been found guilty of all charges, and the sentence is death. Do you have anything to say in your defense?"
Masked Rider:(points at Kamen Mountie F)WHAT?!How dare you accuse of of being the villains?! The Senshi are evil servants of Jubei,you fool! And I'm certain yo'ure his servant too!
Sky Rider:I'm certain that he is,Masked Rider! He did attack us,and he and those two stupid sailor suited girls are standing between us and them.
Skyrider points at the two sailor suited schoolgirls standing next to Kamen Mountie F.
Masked Rider:We give you three one,and only one chance to surrender and take back your stupid false charges.
Kamen Rider F, Naomi And Miranda looked at each other.
"Really? Let us think about that for a sec." Kamen Mountie F replied.
One second later, all three looked at the two stus and simply said. "No."
"Naomi, Miranda, time to, well, Sailor up." Kamen Mountie F suggested.
"Right. Time us, Kamen Mountie F." Naomi said as both she and Miranda took out their disguise pens.
"Got it." Kamen Mountie F took out a stopwatch. "And… Go."
"Sailor Soldier power make up!" Naomi and Miranda shouted and began their transformations.
Their bodies revert back to their adult height and became pure shimmering light except for their eyes.
Their disguise pens transformed into broaches and attached to their chests.
Then their torsos were wrapped in red glowing ribbons emitting from the broaches that transform into their white form fitting leotards with shoulder pads, sailor collar and bow.
Then more ribbons wrapped around their forearms and lower legs, becoming their white elbow length gloves and boots respectively.
Then short pleated skirts with bows appeared on their leotards.
And finally, their tiaras, earrings and choker collars appeared.
And Naomi and Miranda both did a stylish pose, completing their transformation.
If this was a TV show the whole sequence would've taken about thirty seconds. But actually the whole thing took only…
*click* "Two seconds." Kamen Mountie said as he stopped the timer. "Hmmm, a bit slow. It only took me one and a half seconds for me to transform.
"What'd you expect, Kamen Mountie F, We're transforming into magical girls. We like to take our time." Naomi replied.
"Understood." Kamen Mountie F nodded.
"Anyway…" Naomi looked at Not!Masked and Not!Sky Rider. "I am the pretty guardian Sailor N!"
Then Miranda added. "And I am the pretty guardian Sailor M!"
Sailor N continued. "We're the champions of justice and continuity!"
"We are sworn to right the wrongs of bad fan fiction and rule 34 fan comics!" Sailor M declared.
"And triumph over the evil other dimensional Gary Stus!" Sailor N and Sailor M pointed at the stus. "And that means you two!"
Masked Rider: Heh, heh, heh. Wait 'til I tell people I saw two weird girls in a sailor suits striking poses in the middle of Nagasaki!(burst out laughing)
"You're one to talk, bug breath!" Sailor N and Sailor M retorted.
"Wait 'til I tell people I saw two Gary Stus in bug suits striking poses in the middle of Nagasaki! NYA HA HA HA HA HA!" Sailor N Laughed as she pointed at the Stus.
Masked Rider:How dare you laugh at us!
"So which one do you two want to cap?" Kamen Mountie F asked.
"Well, duh, Not!Sky Rider." Sailor N answered. "That dweeb's SO getting on my nerves."
"Just your nerves?" Sailor M added.
"Understood." Kamen Mountie F nodded. "Wanted to personally nail that stu myself. But if you want him, well he's all yours."
Then he looked at not Not!Masked Rider. "Well, Not!Masked Rider, Guess I'm your dance partner." Kamen Mountie F got into a fighting stance, spinning both his t-batons. "Wanna dance on the Devil's Dance Floor?"
Masked Rider: No! You're not even my type! MASKED RIDER SUPER GOLD!
Masked Rider transforms into the steel armored Super Gold.
M.R. Super Gold: Rider punch!
M.R. Super Gold's fist collides with...
Thin air. That's because…
"OLE!" Kamen Mountie F effortlessly dodged the attack with plenty of room to spare. "Was that suppose to hit? Anyway, ROUNDHOUSE KICK!" Kamen Mountie F's blow struck Not!Super Gold in the midriff, sending him flying into a building. "Not like you're my type either."
M.R. Super Gold:How dare you dodge my rider punch?! Aiyaaa! Eagle Kick!
M.R. Super Gold leaps into the air, in a eagle kick manuever, and…
Is suddenly caught mid maneuver by his leg. "Round and round and round we go!" Kamen Mountie F spun himself round and round while still holding on to Not!Super Gold's leg. They were spinning so fast they both became a blur.
"Where we stop, even I don't know! Have a nice trip!" Kamen Mountie F let go of Not!Super Gold, sending the Stu shooting like a missile into another building. The impact left a Not!Super Gold shaped hole in the wall. "Oooo, that's gonna leave a mark."
M.R. Super Gold:(climbing back out through hole he just made) Why you?! Look what you did,you idiot! My perfectly polished Super Gold armor! I'ts dirty and dented and all scratched up! I swear yo'ull pay for this!
"Jeez, if you're so worried about keeping your armor clean, maybe you shouldn't be going into battles." Kamen Mountie F replied. "Seriously you're just making it too easy for me."
M.R. Super Gold:Then try this on for size!
M.R. Super gold pulls out his ecto ray and aims it at Kamen Mountie F.
Kamen Mountie got ready to evade the oncoming blast. But when he looked behind him "SHIT!" He saw that dodging isn't an option. He tried to block the blast using his t-batons but the blast knocked him off his feet and seared his armor. "ARRGH!"
"FRANK!" Sailor N yelled out as she saw Kamen Mountie F get blasted. Problem was that caused her to not pay attention to her own target.
Sky Rider:Now I gotcha! Sky Rider Kick!
Sky Rider's kick hits Sailor N squarely in the stomach.
"UNGH!" Sailor N is sent flying into a nearby wall.
Sky Rider:HA HA HA HA! Not so tough are you.
Sky Rider runs up to Sailor N and grabs her by the neck,lifting her off the ground. His fist constricting around her neck.
Sky Rider:You little brat! Do you know how hard it is to get all those dents out!(squeezes tighter) And you messed up my polish even worse!
"Naomi!" Sailor M called out. She can see that both Kamen Mountie F and Sailor N are in trouble. "Hang on! I'll…"
But both Kamen Mountie F and Sailor N, despite being on the ropes held up their hands as though they were telling Sailor M, The Sailor Senshi, and Tuxedo Mask to…
"Wait." They both said.
M.R. Super Gold:Wait for what?!
Points ecto Blaster at Kamen Mountie F
"Did you want to know why I didn't dodge that blast?" Kamen Mountie F looked up at Not!Super Gold, staring him squarely in the lenses.
M.R. Super Gold:Fine,tell me before I put an end to your stupid meddling.
Continues to point ecto blaster at Kamen Mountie F,finger on the trigger.
Kamen Mountie F thumbed over his shoulder. "Take a look."
It turned out that directly behind him was a large group of people
"If I had dodged, guess where that ecto blast would've went." Kamen Mountie F said. "You would've killed a fair number of those people. Couldn't have on my conscience could I? What about you?"
M.R. Super Gold:(Looks at bystanders)Who cares about them? The'yre just a bunch of stupid Brady Bunch extras anyway. I do'nt care if they died as long as I deliver justice to stupid idiots like and those stupid Sailor Senshi. It does'nt matter. I'll still be seen as a hero and praised for ridding the world of those stupid Sailor Senshi! HA HA HA HA HA! I'm going to enjoy making them suffer in humiliating agony,begging for their well deserved deaths.
M.R. Super gold feels something touch his feet. He looks down to see what it is and sees a round object at his feet.
Wha'ts this?!
"Nothing special. Just a little something I rolled at your feet while you were busy gloating." Kamen Mountie F replied.
The little ball started to beep.
"I like to call it a flash-bang." Kamen Mountie F's lenses blackened as if he was closing his eyes. He lowered his head and gripped the front brim of his 'stetson' as if he was covering hos lenses further just as the flash-bang grenade went off in front of Not!Super Gold, who was still staring at it.
M.R. Super Gold:(staggers around half blinded and ears ringing really loudly)AIYAAAAA! My ears! My eyes! I ca'nt see!
"You're okay with shooting innocents? And you'd shoot a Mountie?" Kamen Mountie F stood up and grabbed Super Gold by his 'collar'. "We'll hunt you to your grave. MOUNTIE PUNCH!" He gave Super gold a swift hard punch that sent Super Gold sprawling back a good fifty feet.
Just then…
"We'd like to help!" Sailor Moon called out as she, the other sailor soldiers and Tuxedo Mask ran up. "Ami, can you go help those other two?" She pointed towards Sailors N and M and Not!Sky Rider.
"I'm on it!" Sailor Mercury nodded and headed off towards the other two agents.
Sky Rider:(After seeing the other Sailor Senshi team up with Kamen Mountie F) SUPER GOLD! I'm coming to help! But first(Looks at Sailor N who was still in his grasp),DIE,YOU STUPID BRAT! SKY RIDER BLOW!
Sky Rider's punch-
Got intercepted by Sailor N's left hand, bringing it to a complete stop. Now by all rights the blow should've smashed every bone in Sailor N's hand and continued on to smash her skull, killing her instantly. But Sailor N isn't just ant ordinary sailor soldier. Her sailor soldier uniform enhances her strength and toughness to levels equal to that of a first generation Pretty Cure. Or maybe that red haired girl from Graviton City at least.
Sky Rider:(Suddenly surprised) What the?! No way tha'ts impossible! No one can stop a sky rider blow!
Sky Rider tries to pull his hand back but finds he ca'nt break it free from that stupid Sailor N's grip. Then he finds that Sailor N has grabbed his choking hand by the wrist and was…
ARRRRGH! MY WRIST! YO'URE CRUSHING IT!
"Well duh, captain Obvious… cough cough." Sailor N caught her breath as Not!Sky Rider's grip on her neck released. "My turn! And I'd like to RAAAGGGEEE!" She roared as she and Not!Sky Rider started laying in a barrage of kicks, knees, punches elbow smashes, double axe-handles and the occasional headbutt on each other.
To say that it was one fast paced wild bar room brawl would be an understatement.
Not!Sky Rider had to use his jumping ability to escape from Sailor N's raging fury.
"Hey! Get back down here! I'm not done tenderizing you like a yak steak!" Sailor N shouted up at Not!Sky Rider. "You know what!? Go ahead and stay up there, you chicken! He's all yours, Miranda! Light that bug Up!"
"Got it! Sailor M Jupiter form!" Sailor M collar and skirt went from white to green and her bows went from white to pink(The colors of Sailor Jupiter of course). And an antenna emerged from her tiara. "Forecast calls for cloudy with a chance of SUPREME THUNDER!"
Bolts of lightning arced forth from her antenna and in milliseconds, struck Not!Sky Rider in mid air.
Sky Rider:(after getting hit by enough electricity to power up a certain automotive time machine)GYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!
Sky Rider convulsing from the shock plummets back to the ground. His armor REALLY sinjed.
(glares at Sailor M) WHY YOU BRAT! HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA FIX THIS?!
Sky Rider lunges at Sailor M
"Not so fast, motor mouth! Sailor N Venus Form!" Sailor N's uniform took on the colors of Sailor Venus. "LOVE ME CHAIN!"
Not!Sky Rider suddenly found that his reaching arm suddenly was entwined by a string of golden harts.
"GET OVER HERE!" Sailor N shouted as she gave the chain a really hard yank, pulling Not!sky Rider clean off his feet and sent flying towards Sailor N, Who was now charging straight at him. "FLYING CLOTHESLINE!" And gave him a flying clothesline tackle to the neck, slamming him back first into the pavement. And sending chunks of pavement into the air from the sheer force of the impact.
Sky Rider:(after getting back up)Why you?! Were you trying to break my neck?!
He angrily glares at Sailor N.
Then suddenly, Sailor Mercury stepped in between the agents and the enraged stu. "BUBBLE SPRAY FREEZING!" Not!Sky Rider found himself surrounded in thick freezing fog. The temperature of said fog dropped to about -150 decrees Celsius, flash freezing him motionless.
"Not so slow and weak now am I?" Sailor Mercury glared defiantly at the frosty white statue that was, seconds earlier, a Gary Stu impersonating a Kamen Rider.
"That should hold him for a moment." Sailor Mercury looked over her shoulder at the slightly surprised agents. "Apologizes for interrupting your fight, but I needed to keep him still long enough to scan him for a weakness."
"Um right…" Sailor N replied, still a bit surprised at what Sailor Mercury was capable of now that she wasn't under the influence of Not!Super Gold (Who was now being attacked by the other Sailor Soldiers, Tuxedo Mask and Kamen Mountie F). "Scan away."
Sailor Mercury activated her visor and scanned Not!Sky Rider. She was done in less than a second. "Ah! Found it! Everyone! You have to destroy their buckles! That should get rid of their armor!"
"Right, this oughta be fun!" Sailor N cracked her knuckles and approached Not!Sky Rider as he was trying to free himself from the thick coat of ice and frost that encased his armor. "BUCKLE BUSTER!" Sailor N shouted as she gave Not!Sky Rider's buckle a swift hard uppercut, shattering it into hundreds of pieces.
A huge rain of sparks emitted from where she punched, causing the two agents and the sailor soldier to shield their faces from the stinging spray of sparks as Not!Sky Rider transformed back into Not!Hiroshi.
Tsukuba:(looking completely surprised and shivering intensely)NOOOOOO! MY ARMOR! YOU STUPID BRATS! HOW COULD YOU?!
Sailor N and Sailor M looked at each other.
"Well?" Sailor N asked.
"Let's finish this." Sailor M nodded and they transformed back to their normal adult forms. They pulled out their pistols and slid back the actions loading a round in the chamber. They aimed their pistols at the now shocked Stu, realizing too late that he is about to die and pulled the triggers...
(While this was going on)
Not!Super Gold quickly got back on his feet, finally shaking off the effects of the flash-bang. The first thing he saw was Kamen Mountie F, who punched him just seconds earlier. But now he was suddenly accompanied by Sailors Moon, Mars, Venus, Jupiter(Who just now fully recovered from having her stomach kicked in) and Tuxedo Mask, now wielding a sword.
Also he noticed Sailor Mercury running towards Not!Sky Rider, who was in a wild brawl with Sailor N.
"Hey you!" Sailor Moon called out, getting his attention. "Sullying the name of Kamen Rider and using me and my friends like villainous puppets in your sick little game. And making me cuss. I will not forgive what you have done! In the name of the Moon…"
M.R. Super Gold:Yeah, yeah, you're gonna pu-
"SHUT UP! I'M NOT DONE TALKING YET!" Sailor Moon interrupted, startling stu, agent and canons alike. "Now where was I? Oh yeah. In the name of the Moon, I! WILL! REALLY! PUNISH! YOU!" She gave Not!Super Gold a hard death glare. "You're going down hard, dweeb! Just like Beryl and Wiseman!"
M.R. Super Gold:How dare you tell me to shut up! Electrosaber activate!
M.R. Super Gold activates his electrosaber and lunges at Sailor Moon
AIYAAAA! DIE!
And Tuxedo Mask stepped in front of Sailor Moon and parried the electro sabre. Then he countered with a slash of his own, leaving a gleaming gouge in Not!Super Gold's armor.
M.R Super Gold: AAH! You scratched my armor,you stupid tuxedo wearing rose throwing dweeb boy! You'll pay for that!
"Oh? Do you take cash, debit or credit? Either way, I'm not paying. EN GARDE!" Tuxedo Mask assumed a fencer's stance.
M.R. Super Gold:Oh you think you're a better swordsman than? I was taught by the knights of Edenoi. I will defeat you!
Kamen Mountie F shook his head. "The real Dex was, not you."
"And I am the reincarnation of prince Endymion of Elysion." Tuxedo Mask added. "I'd like to see you try."
Not!Super Gold lunged at Tuxedo Mask. But his sabre strikes only struck empty air as Tuxedo Mask expertly dodges the wild blows. Or wee parried by tuxedo Mask's own blade. Not only that, Tuxedo Mask landed several successful blows leaving even more gouges in Not!Super Gold's armor.
And, as icing on the cake, he even managed to strike Not!Super Gold on one of his butt-plates, marking his initials, in kanji no less, in the process.
M.R. Super Gold:AIYAAAA! MY BUTT! WHY I OUGHTA!
"What can I say? I'm way more than just a pretty boy in a tuxedo." Tuxedo Mask stated.
"Oh wow! That was so cool, Tuxedo Mask!" Sailor Moon squeed, with harts where her eyes ought to be. Then she took on a more serious expression. "Anyway my turn." She reached up to her tiara. "Try and catch this! MOON TIARA ACTION!" And she flung the glowing discus at Not!Super Gold.
The Tiara flew at blinding speed, directly at Not!Super Gold's head. But he caught the tiara.
M.R. Super Gold: Still kid stuff! Is this the best you can still… huh.
M.R. Super Gold notices that the tiara is still spinning into his palm,throwing sparks at it-
AIYAAAAAAA! MY HAND!
The tiara, despite being held in his grasp had managed to cut through his armor the shower of sparks quickly was replaced by a spray of glittery blood as it began to cut into his flesh. He was forced to let go of it or it would've cut his upper hand off. The glowing discus flew on behind him.
"Too hot to handle?" Sailor Moon gestured with her hand. "Let me show what else I can do."
The glowing discus circled back and struck Not!Super Gold in the back, knocking him off his feet. As he got back up, it came at him again and again, knocking him from curb to curb. Each hit kicking up sparks and leaving several deep glowing gashes in his armor.
Then Sailor moon gestured towards herself and the discus shot back towards her forehead. The nanosecond it came in contact, it turned back into her tiara and placed itself back on her head. "What? Were you expecting my own tiara to fry me?" Sailor moon said. "Not that I ever remember that ever happening."
"Guess Miranda was right." Kamen Mountie F said, recalling her comment earlier about said moon tiara messing up the stu's hand. "Jadeite you are not." He said to the stu.
M. Gold:(Staggers back on to his feet,Glares at Kamen Mountie F) Da-Damn you! If it wa'snt for you. I would still be beating up that stupid Sailor Moon and her cronies. This is all your fault! Yo'ure making them so overpowered!
"Over powered?" Kamen Rider F cocked his head. "I doubt that. And now that your stufluience on them is broken, you're no longer facing weakened canons, but highly experienced monster-mashing super heroines and Tuxedo Mask at 100% and understandably a bit p.o'd at you."
Tuxedo Mask raised an eyebrow.
M. Gold:Well I know how I can fix that back to the way it should be! By getting rid of you! COMBAT CHOPPER! TO ME!
Chopper:Coming,Boss!
Combat chopper comes alongside Super Gold,then Super Gold hops on and guns the throttle and charges straight towards Kamen Mountie F.
"LOVE ME CHAIN!" Sailor Venus shouted. Her chain of harts wrapped around the handlebars of Combat Chopper. "Put it in park, bug boy!" She gave her chain a good strong yank, causing Combat Chopper to abruptly veer off from it's collision course and spin wildly out of control, ejecting Not!Super Gold right before it wrapped itself around a telephone pole.
M.R. Super Gold:(looks at a now severely damaged Combat Chopper) COMBAT CHOPPER! NOOOOOOO!
It was at that point that they heard Sailor Mercury call out. "Ah! Found it! Everyone! You have to destroy their buckles! That should get rid of their armor!"
"Right! Everyone! Concentrate on his buckle! MOON TIARA ACTION!" Sailor Moon let her tiara fly.
Followed by. "FIRE SOUL!"
"SUPREME THUNDER!"
"CRESCENT BEAM!"
The other attacks formed up on the spinning discuss further enhancing to with fire, electricity and light. Causing to to glow in a kaleidoscope of white, red, yellow and orange. It slammed straight into Not!Super Gold's buckle, resulting in a huge shower of sparks obscuring the target from view for a few seconds. When the sparks dissipated…
Not!Super Gold had reverted back into Not!Masked Rider. But now there was a noticeable smoking crack in his buckle from where the enhanced moon tiara struck. It kicked up another shower of sparks as it finally broke down, leaving behind Not!Dex.
Dex:(staggering back in sheer disbelief)NOO! This… THIS CA'NT BE HAPPINING! MY ARMOR! I'TS RUINED!
"Well, not much point in wearing this right now" Kamen Mountie transformed back into Franklin in his normal adult form. He drew out his pistol, checked the safety and loaded a round in the chamber. "Time to put you down."
He approached Not!Dex and aimed his pistol at the stu's chest.
Dex:(A panicked look on his face, hands held out in front of him) Wait! Ar'ent you going to-
Three shots rang out. One each from Naomi, Miranda and Franklin. The Sailor Soldiers and Tuxedo Mask looked on in surprise as both Not!Dex and Not!Hiroshi fell dead on the street, glittery blood oozing from their fatal bullet wounds.
"You… You killed them?" Sailor moon gasped.
"We did sentence them to death earlier, remember?" Franklin replied as he uncocked the hammer, engaged the safety and holstered his pistol.
"Oh… Right." Sailor moon replied. "It's just that."
"Well it's not like it's any different from what you and your fellow sailor soldiers did do all those monsters before." Franklin said. Then he looked up at Jubei's ship. "Now what are we going to do with…"
The spaceship disappeared in a cloud of glitter that blew away on the wind.
"Never mind." Franklin said. "Guess the Stu's existence was what kept that thing here and now that he's cold on the floor…" He looked at the Stu he just shot. "It no longer exists. Well that's one problem solved."
That's not the only thing that just went poof." Naomi said as she, Miranda and Sailor Mercury approached. "That Stu we just plugged went 'poof' too. So what are we gonna do with not!Dex."
"I Have an idea." Franklin replied as he took out the portal generator. "Lord Of The Rings Mount Doom interior, 200 feet above the lava." He aimed the generator at the dead Stu and activated the portal right underneath him. The stu fell through the open portal and Franklin closed it behind him.
"Mount Doom?" Naomi asked.
"Why Not." Franklin shrugged.
"The way that you killed them…" Sailor Moon said. "You just pointed your guns at them and…"
"You just executed them just like assassins." Sailor Mars added.
"Well that's because we are assassins." Naomi replied. Then she took out her neuralyzer and ray-bans. Franklin and Miranda also put on their ray-bans. "Now everyone! Everyone! If all of you just look here…"
*FLASH*
The Canons and the witnesses to this whole event were all neuralyzed.
"You never encountered the Kamen Riders, you never fought against them, you weren't servants of Jubei, and you never met us, as far as you all are concerned the last few days never happened. And we were never here." Naomi instructed the neuralyzed sailor soldiers and Tuxedo Mask.
Franklin opened up a portal to just outside the Crown Game Centre arcade and instructed the canons to go through.
After closing the portal behind them. "And everyone here, you never witnessed a fight between the Sailor Soldiers, Two Kamen Riders, and three assassins. It did not happen. Just go back to whatever you were all doing. Nothing to see here." Naomi addressed the neuralyzed witnesses, who all went back to their normal day-to-day affairs as though the moments before never happened.
Then, After Naomi wrenched it off the telephone pole, they sent the damaged combat chopper to the station's repair centre for repairs and eventual return to it's home continuum, namely Masked Rider,
"Now we just have to find the real Dex and the real Hiroshi and send them back and we can call it a day." Franklin said. "And we can put this whole thing to bed."
They portaled back to Tokyo and, using the field analyzer, located the real Dex and the real Hiroshi floating in a pocket dimension in the park(they later learned they were called plot-holes). The two were soon recovered, neuralyzed and returned to their home continuums of Masked Rider and Kamen Rider respectively.
Finally they portaled back to their headquarters.
(Post Mission)
"Oh man, what a day." Naomi flopped down on the couch and helped herself to one of Franklin's recently re-heated bacon snacks.
Next to the bacon snacks on the table were three badges.
"I guess you could say that." Franklin finished typing in his report on the main console.
"Go easy on those snacks, Naomi." Miranda said as she sat down next to Naomi.
"Worried I might get fat?" Naomi asked.
"More like I'm worried I might not get one." Miranda replied as she quickly snatched up a bacon snack from the plate.
"Darn it, I just realized." Naomi smacked her fist into her palm. "I didn't get their autographs."
"Maybe next time, Naomi." Franklin finished and sent off his report.
"So I guess it's official…" Miranda picked up her badge off the table next to the plate of bacon snacks(That Naomi was inhaling). "We're now officially assassins of a 4th dimensional organization." She studied her badge which had 'R-34' covered by a red prohibition circle. Above it read' R-34 Task Force. Below it was the words, 'Si sordida, purgamus.'. Her name and badge number was below the logo.
" 'If they dirty it, we cleanse it.' " Naomi translated the logo on her badge. "If I'm reading this right. My Latin's a bit rusty."
"I suppose it's a reminder of our main task." Miranda said. "We are supposed to be mission Rule-34 Fan comics and Doujinshis and set things right.
"That would mean our first mission was kind of an exception to that manifesto." Franklin commented."No rule-34, just a hate-fic."
"I guess." Naomi replied. "Hey do you have any more?" She held out the now cleaned out plate.
"Nope, that was all I cooked." Franklin answered.
"No fair." Naomi whined. "These were so good."
Just then the AI chimed in. "Congratulations on your first successful mission. Also the council requests that you and the other teams please refrain from dumping terminated Stus down MT. Doom. Sauron doesn't like it when his volcano suddenly poofs up huge clouds of glitter. In the future, we suggest that you send all slain Stus and Sues to the station's incinerator."
"Well so much for casting them to the fires of MT. Doom to be unmade." Franklin said.
"Well we'd rather you toss them into our furnaces instead. We could use the extra fuel." The AI replied.
"Understood. Anyway about that combat chopper." Franklin inquired.
"They just concluded repairs and they are now cleaning and detailing the vehicle." The AI answered. "It will be returned to 'Masked Rider' momentarily following neuralyzation. Oh and one more thing..."
All three agents looked at the monitor.
"How do you three feel about visiting late 19th century London?"
Something told the agents that the real work is about to begin.
(End Mission 0ne)
Author's notes:
About this organization:
Now we've all seen the practice of rule-34 done on numerous franchises, namely on animation, comics and video games. People go and make porns(often 'fan' art or 'fan' comics) of those for the evulz and to make money off them. Often without the consent of the franchises original owners.
In many cases, the authors of said porns use this to show off their weird and often sick and bizarre fetishes. Especially if the character being affected is under age(Usually under the age of 18). Makes one wonder that kind of people these rule 34 authors are in real life.
And a lot of these can knock continuities seriously out of whack.
And that's where this organization I brewed up comes in. Their job is to go into rule 34 fan works and undo the problems caused by them(Usually by killing the offending Stu or Sue, or performing an exorcism, whatever needs to be done).
Now They won't just do rule 34. From time to time I might have my crew do a non rule 34 fanfic or fan comic just to mix things up(I'm looking at you two, Tintin In Thailand and Tintin: Breaking Free).
Now About this Fan-fic I just Missioned:
The fanfic originally appeared in a long defunct anti-Sailor Moon site and later got the mst3k treatment where I came across it a few years back. I was able to copy it before that website disappeared down the memory hole.
As of this writing the author's old website can still be found archived in neocites under the name ismringsofpower.
Anyway that's all I have to say. Later.