"So, things are getting interesting," Kara summarized.
"That's one way of putting it," Astra said. "Although Harry's got a couple of pests to deal with."
"A year of dealing with Malfoy got me a lot of practice," Harry said. "Oh, this next chapter going to be a big one. And a bad one."
Malfoy nodded grimly.
"Well, let's not wait any longer," Sara said.
"Chapter Seven," Gideon read. "Mudbloods and Murmurs."
There were grumblings of outrage.
"What?" Sirius asked. "Who used that word?"
Narcissa frowned. She had a theory. And Narcissa just hoped she was wrong. While she was not a Muggle hugger by any means, there were certain words that should not be used in polite company. Especially one whose original definition had been polluted like that.
"Oh, that's going to be used," Natalie said.
"Nat," Lily warned her. "I know you hate that word."
"It's a garbage word," Natalie said
"Yes, we know," Remus said. "Given you got expelled when you attacked the last person who said it."
"That's how you got expelled?" Astra asked.
"Yes, and it was worth it," Natalie said. "Bastard had it coming."
Harry could not help and notice both versions of Severus Snape squirming.
"That word wasn't the only reason," John said.
"Well, no, but it's the straw that breaks the camel's back for certain reasons," Natalie said.
"That word's gone out of style," Mia said.
"Thankfully," Kara agreed. "Well, let's deal with this chapter."
Recap of Harry's need to avoid both Lockhart and Colin Creevey as they both make pests out of themselves to him.
"Oooh, that's bad," Kara said.
"Colin's mostly harmless," Harry offered. "Lockhart on the other hand…"
"Say no more, Potter," Snape said.
One thing Snape and Harry could agree with was Lockhart was an abomination which disgusted them.
"And my son has his first stalker," James said.
"You've had more than your fair share," Sirius said.
"And you loved the attention, didn't you, Potter?" Severus asked.
"I love attention I consent to, Snape," James said coolly. "I don't like people getting up in my personal space."
"How did he happen to find out Harry's schedule?" Lita asked.
"Oh, that's not hard to do," Ron said. "A lot of people wanted to know Harry's movements. And it was public knowledge."
"An invasion of personal space more like it," Zari said.
Harry is woken up at the crack of dawn by Oliver Wood for Quidditch Practice.
"Wake me up at the crack of dawn under your own peril," Alex said crossly. "I would have sent him flying down those steps."
"You're not the only one," Astra said dryly.
"Ugh," Sirius groaned. "I like Quidditch, but that's obsessive."
"Wood, just Wood," George said.
"Not too many morning people," Regulus said.
"Of course, not," Mia said. "Especially since a lot of us keep some pretty late nights."
After Harry heads down to meet Wood, Colin excitedly meets him, while shoving the photo of Harry and Lockhart in front of his face.
"That's grounds for getting something shoved in a very uncomfortable place," Bellatrix said.
"Just a kid," Astra murmured. "Just a kid."
"Harry's not going to sign it," Nora said.
"One time, just for Cat Grant," Ruby said.
"Not quite sure how she pulled that one off," Lena said.
"It's Cat Grant," Zari suggested. "Even in the future, she's well known."
Mia laughed and could not agree more.
Colin asks Harry to sign the photo. Harry tries to shake him off.
"You have the patience of a saint," Peter said.
"I would have told this kid to fuck off," Alex said.
"I would have done more than that," Bellatrix said.
"Well, it's not like you two are the models of tact and restraint," Kara said.
Nothing Harry says is going to shake Colin off. He keeps blabbering on and on and on.
"Not the brightest one, is he?" Lita asked.
"Harmless," Ron repeated. "Annoying. But, harmless."
"But, he can get on your nerves a little bit," Ginny said. "You should try sitting next to him in class."
"Hard pass on that one," Zari said.
"I would have spent more time than I did in detention," Bellatrix said.
We get a recap of what Quidditch is, through Harry explaining it to Colin.
"Well, you just made him thirstier for attention," Zari said.
"Trust me, he was thrilled," Harry said.
Harry meets the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team who are rather thrilled to be pulled into this at the crack of dawn.
"It's at that point where we thought Wood needed an intervention," George said.
"I love Quidditch as much as the next person," James said. "But, I think my players should be awake before I try and get anything out of them."
"Unless you want more injuries," Astra said.
"Enough injuries when they're wide awake," Peter agreed. "I thought James liked his sport, but it's obvious this Wood guy takes it to an entirely new level."
"Especially after what happened last year," Lena said.
"And it should explain that shortly, before anyone asks," Sara said.
After Wood gives his spiel, George Weasley asks why this could not be done when these people were awake.
"No shit," Alex said.
"I still haven't gotten a straight answer," George said.
"Wood doesn't understand that people don't eat, sleep, and shit Quidditch like he does," Fred said.
"And we like the sport well enough," George said.
"There's being a fan," Harry said. "And there's being a fanatic."
"And dragging your team up at the crack of dawn is being a fanatic," Regulus said.
"The real question is why didn't Professor McGonagall have a chat with him?" Nora asked.
"I did, but his biggest strength was his biggest weakness," McGonagall said. "His dedication made the best team, but it made him fanatical."
Wood gives his reasoning, namely their crushing defeat in the finals last year. Which makes Harry feel guilty.
"Oh, you mean the fact you were fighting Voldemort over the Philosopher's Stone," Astra said.
"That's nothing to feel guilty about," James said. "If anything, the adults who are responsible for you should feel guilty they put you in position."
"If I knew what I know now, I wouldn't want my son to go to Hogwarts," Lily said.
"Well, Potters have gone to Hogwarts for generations," James said. "But, I wouldn't want him in any danger either."
'Damn right," Sirius said. "If I was around, I would have pulled Harry out of school and got him the best tutors that money could buy."
"Well, I don't have Sirius Black money," Peter said. "But, I don't think it's fair that a kid has to put up with this stuff."
"Rarely, life is fair," Harry said. "Especially my life."
"Life's a bitch, then you die," Mia said.
"Cynical, but accurate words to live by," Harry agreed.
Ron and Hermione are already out before the Quidditch Practice even started.
"I was starving already," Harry said.
"Oh, out there early and before breakfast," Kara said. "I would have hurt Wood for that one too."
"And I believe it," Lena said.
"Never get between my sister and food," Alex said.
Kara stuck out her tongue playfully.
"I think that loss last year caused Wood to lose his mind," Zari said.
"Or, maybe the fact he has two more years at Hogwarts, and wants to go Professional," Ron said. "Having the first Quidditch Cup victory since Charlie left, it would really cement his place."
"Discovering the best seeker Hogwarts has had to have scored him some points," Ginny said.
"Oh, that didn't hurt any," Ron agreed.
"Wood thanked me for…everything, when he made Puddlemere," Harry said.
'As he should," Sara said. "And Malfoy."
"I know, Lance, I get Wood's fruit basket every year," Malfoy said.
Malfoy tried to remain stoic even if he knew what was coming. And regretted it. Because, it put him in some unwanted spotlight that year.
Colin is taking pictures. Harry plays dumb about him which makes Wood think he's a Slytherin spy.
"Wood would think that," George said.
"Wood would," Fred said.
"But how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if that woodchuck was Wood. Would he?" George asked.
Ginny cleared her throat and the twins knew when to shut up.
"Little twerp is starting to creep me out a bit," Astra said.
"I'm more concerned with the big twerp," John said.
"Oh, you mean Lockhart?" Natalie asked.
"Exactly," John said.
But there's no need, because the Slytherins arrive in person.
"This won't end well,' Regulus said.
"Slytherins and Gryffindors on the Quidditch field together?" Bellatrix asked. "It never does."
"So, this is that day," Narcissa said to Malfoy.
"Yes," Malfoy said. "Things were said that I can't necessarily take back."
"I would like to remind everyone that no matter how tempting it is, no violence," Sara said.
"Which means there's something coming up which makes violence very appealing," Mia said.
"Oh, bloody hell," Sirius murmured.
Snape's eyes looked towards Malfoy.
The poster boy of the big book of British smiles himself, Marcus Flint, arrives and comments that he's here to train their new Seeker.
"Huh, I can only imagine who that is," Astra said.
"And I don't recall writing a note of permission," Snape said.
"You didn't?" Hermione asked.
"Granger, I'm not stupid," Snape said. "I know that putting Slytherins and Gryffindors in such close proximity to each other without adult supervision is a disaster waiting to happen."
"So, Flint forged the note," Lita said.
"Or there was no note," Snape said. "Either works."
"Bastard schemed through the entire thing," Mick said.
"Flint's smarter than we give him credit for," Ginny summarized.
"Flints got those summer teeth though," Mick said.
"Some are missing, and some are yellow?" Sirius asked.
"Exactly," Mick said.
And their new Seeker is the one and only Draco Malfoy.
"Well, of course," Ruby said.
"He was nagging his father about a racing broom," Junior said. "Typical slime-ridden Malfoy behavior."
"I suppose he could have gotten on his team with his natural talent," Kara suggested.
"Yeah, right," Junior murmured.
"Malfoy isn't bad at being a Seeker," Harry said. "I'm just better."
"Damn right," Ron murmured.
And it turns out that there's been a generous donation of seven Nimbus Two Thousand and One racing brooms.
"Nice to see the head of the Slytherin House is corrupt," John said.
"It's perfectly reasonable for a house alumni to denote brooms to their old house," Snape said. "It's perfectly within the Hogwarts guidelines."
"Unfortunately true," McGonagall said.
"And I don't interfere with the selection of the members of my team," Snape said. "It was up to Flint. I'm certain Draco implied that his father would be displeased if he did not make the team."
"Never really is your fault, is it?" Natalie asked. "You've always got a freudian excuse."
"Just telling you that I don't micro-manage the Quidditch team," Snape said.
"So, if I wasn't dead or in prison, I could denote some better brooms to Gryffindor," Sirius said.
"Well, you could, couldn't you?" Peter asked.
Malfoy is a snide little shit to Ron and makes a snide comment about the Cleansweep fives.
"He really is having a good time rubbing this in people's faces," Lena said.
"The little ass actually thought he would get the better of me," Harry said.
"You had some good brooms, Malfoy," Fred said.
"But, we had some damn good people on those brooms," George said.
"And the best is your opponent," Astra said. "So, choke on that."
"Believe me, I would," Malfoy murmured.
Hermione remarks that no one on the team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent.
"Damn straight," Astra said.
"You tell them," Ginny said.
"He's not going to like that, at all," Severus said.
"What did he do?" Charlotte asked her daughter.
"Nothing too bad," Hermione said.
Kate just looked at her older sister. She could smell bullshit a mile away.
Malfoy remarks that no one asked for Hermione's opinion whilst calling her a filthy Mudblood.
The room went completely silent. Malfoy slid back into his chair.
"Draco Malfoy," Narcissa murmured. "You never use that word."
"Well, it was twenty-nine years ago and I don't think I've used it for at least twenty of those years," Malfoy drawled.
"It puts way too many eyes on you," Regulus said. "Puts you under scrutiny."
Boy did Malfoy know it.
"Not surprised it was the poster boy for Hitler youth who spat that one out," Kate said.
"You're lucky that I wasn't there when you said that," Natalie said.
"You are, very lucky," Severus said with a shudder.
"It shows inferior breeding to use that word in public,' Bellatrix said. "No matter how true it might be, you put scrutiny on yourself."
"You used it," Malfoy protested.
"Never in the middle of a crowded group," Bellatrix said. "You might as well have just outed yourself as a blood purist in the middle of the courtyard while you were at it."
"Granger," Malfoy said. "I shouldn't have called you that."
"Oh, I know," Hermione said.
"But, you got on my nerves, implying that I wasn't good at all," Malfoy said. "And you shouldn't have butted in."
"I suppose that's about as good as you're going to expect for an apology," Sara said.
"So, what were you thinking when you heard that word?" Lily asked Hermione.
"Well, I didn't know what it meant," Hermione said. "That's the first time I heard it, when out of Malfoy's mouth."
"Honestly, I'm surprised he even had the nerve to say it," Junior said. "Lucius must have used it behind closed doors with his chums, but one would think he had the sense to tell his son never to say that word in polite company. In public."
"He did," Malfoy murmured. "I chose not to listen."
"Shocked," Astra said. "Really, I'm there."
"I warned you people that I would be doing a lot of things that were pretty bad," Malfoy said. "This just scratches the surface."
Everyone loses their shit over Malfoy's choice of verbiage. And Ron's curse backfired and he starts belching slugs.
"Ugh," Zari said.
"And that's why you don't fuck around with a broken wand," Sirius said.
"Draco, you should have told me about this," Narcissa said. "About Weasley's wand."
"Why?" Malfoy asked.
"Because he was a danger to himself and others," Narcissa said. "And if he hit you with that curse, with a damaged wand, I don't want to know what would happen."
"It wouldn't be pretty," Nora said.
"What's happening to Ron isn't pretty," Astra said.
"No shit," Ginny said. "That's a tricky charm. And the fact the wand didn't blow Ron up is a miracle."
Ron's slug belching is out of control. Harry suggests they get Ron to Hagrid's
"Good plan," Sirius said.
"Yeah, he might choke if you try and get him to the Hospital Wing," Peter said.
"I've never seen a spell backfire that badly," Lily said.
"That's why you don't use a busted wand, Evans," Bellatrix said. "If Weasley would have used that spell, it would have been beautiful."
"Hey, I was the intended target," Malfoy said.
"You asked for it," Bellatrix said with a sweet little smile. "I daresay you wouldn't be saying that no-no word in public ever again."
Colin tries to get a picture despite Ron belching slugs much to Harry's chagrin.
"Damn it, kid, timing!" Kate fumed.
"He's really starting to get on my nerves," Ruby said.
"Starting?" Astra asked.
"He's been on my nerves for a long time," Bellatrix said. "How you didn't make him eat that camera, I'll never know?"
"Harry has more patience than I would have," Lily said.
"Didn't really get that from me either," James said.
"He wasn't high on my list of priorities," Harry said. "Thankfully, he mellowed out when he was older."
"Well, thank Rao for that," Kara said.
They avoid Lockhart, who is in the process of talking to Hagrid. Who is offered a signed book.
"Speaking of arses with bad timing," John said.
"Oh, I can almost feel his smugness through the book," Lena said.
"It's overpowering," Harry agreed.
"Like a stench," Sara said.
"Between him and Creevey, your year sucked," Ruby summarized.
"Well, as I keep telling you, Colin is harmless," Harry said.
"I still can't believe this tool got all of those books published," Mick said.
"He has a face that sells them," Ron said grimly.
"And a voice which makes you want to strangle him," Junior said.
"I really wish I could reach through the screen right now," Regulus said.
After Lockhart leaves, Harry and Hermione helps Ron into Hagrid's hut. Hagrid gets Ron a basin to barf up all of his slugs.
"He's got a good point," Kara said."Get all of that out."
"Those slugs must have tasted terrible," Ruby said.
"Not pleasant," Ron said with a shudder.
"Then, I'm glad the spell failed," Malfoy said.
'Oh, I don't know," Sara said. "Slugs can be a rare delicacy."
"Not when they taste like dragon dung," Ron said.
"And how do you know what dragon dung tastes like?" Astra asked.
Ron indicated his expression towards Fred and George who smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry about that," George said.
"I'm over it," Ron said. "I've got worse childhood trauma that you two were responsible for that flared up this particular year."
Here Fred and George winced, having a slight idea what Ron was referring to.
Hagrid offers skepticism that Lockhart did all of the things he said he did. Much to Hermione's protests. And Hagrid reveals that Lockhart was the only man for the job.
"We weren't overburdened with good help," McGonagall said.
"That should have been a red flag," Nora said. "Hagrid didn't even say anything bad against Snape. But he says that he's skeptical towards Lockhart."
"I'm such an idiot," Hermione groaned.
"You have your blindspots," Lily told her. "Books aren't perfect though. Because they're written by humans."
Ron says he tried to curse Malfoy over him calling Hermione the M-Word.
"Rightfully so," Natalie said.
"Still think you overreacted," Lily murmured underneath her breath.
"But, you saw what kind of person he truly is," Natalie said.
Astra and Harry blinked. And Harry understood.
"If only that curse worked," Peter said.
"Trust me, Malfoy wouldn't get the taste of dung-tasting slugs out of his mouth for a month," Ron said. "Trust me, I didn't."
"Good thing you didn't try to Bat-Boogey him," Ginny said.
'Nah, that's your territory," Ron said.
Ginny just grinned at her older brother. She playfully bopped Ron on the nose.
"And don't you forget it."
Ron explains what Mudblood means to Harry and Hermione.
"Well, that word's been co-opted by mean any Muggleborn," Junior said. "But, it has a different origin, one that isn't quite nice."
"Oh?" Zari asked.
"It's to refer to a Muggleborn who charmed a pureblood through unethical meals like a love potion or a compulsion spell," Junior said. "By marrying a pureblood, they said to have committed line theft. And muddied up the blood, hench the term."
"How did it turn into that other use of the term?" Kara asked.
"Well, things like this happen over time," Junior said. "The witch burnings did not help any."
"Even though precisely zero witches or wizards were captured in those things," John said.
"Yeah, only me," Sara said.
"And me," Zari said.
"Dare I ask?" Lily asked.
"It's a long story," Sara said.
"Hey, that's my line," Harry said.
Sara just grinned and planted a playful kiss on Harry's lips.
"And we got out of it quite nicely," Zari said.
"Wasn't that technically the other Zari?" Kara asked.
"Well, I got a few of her memories," Zari said. "Crisis tends to muddied things. We muddy things every other week."
"And there's Barry's weekly joyrides through the timeline," Kara said.
"Those too," Sara said.
"And we get up to some wacky things," Sirius said.
"Well, we don't have a time ship," Peter offered.
"That's likely for the best," Remus said.
None of the Marauders could agree.
"Hermione?" Charlotte asked.
"Mother," Hermione said.
"I didn't know you had to deal with that," Charlotte said.
"I tried not to let people like Malfoy get to me," Hermione said. "And there's a lot of things that I didn't tell you and my father."
Kate folded her arms and said nothing. There were times where she thought Hermione was slowly gaining a prejudiced attitude towards non-magicals. It was very easy to do, even in the more progressive magical world of today. Still, Hermione shared less and less with their mother over the years.
"Okay?" Harry asked.
"Just realizing my sister's good at hiding when something's really bothering her," Kate said.
Hagrid points out that it was a good thing that Ron didn't succeed in cursing Malfoy, because it would bring Lucius Malfoy up to the school.
"I'm sure Lucius would be thrilled to hear his son was just casually dropping a slur in the middle of a school yard," Snape said.
"Lucius would have used this as a chance to take down Arthur Weasley," Narcissa said.
"Of course," Ginny grumbled. "Bastard would twist this to screw with Dad."
"Although, he wouldn't be too pleased with Draco," Narcissa said. "And neither would I."
"I learned it from Father," Malfoy said.
"And if your father jumped off the Astronomy tower, you would have followed him," Ginny said.
Malfoy could not dispute this point.
Hagrid teases Harry about the entire signed photos thing. And trash talks Lockhart some more.
"Hagrid's almost making up for the entire dragon thing," Astra said.
"Almost," Kara said. "Although, I still haven't forgiven him for not telling Harry how to get on the platform."
"You're just liking him because he's talking trash about Lockhart," John said.
"Maybe," Astra said with a shifty smirk.
Hagrid shows Harry, Ron, and Hermione his prized pumpkins. With his mysterious and fabolous pink umbrella helping grow it. The subject of Hagrid's expulsion is touched on again.
"You want to find out about that?" Sirius asked. "Good luck."
"I bet Harry will," Peter said.
"Oh, Peter, are you serious?" Sirius asked.
"Actually that's…"
James casually stuffed a bagel in Peter's mouth to stop him from using history's most overused joke.
"I bet you ten galleons Harry can figure it out," Peter said.
"Pete, you don't have ten galleons," James reminded him. "And I can't lend it to you."
"Well, I'm that confident," Peter said.
"Harry?" Remus asked.
"No spoilers," Harry said.
"I'll take that a yes," Peter said.
"Really, I took that more as a no?" Sirius asked.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione all shared one anxious look. The Marauders were all together, laughing. In little under two years from their perspective, that changed.
Not yet though.
"Hagrid's umbrella is one of the Wizarding World's worst kept secrets," Kate said.
"Does he still have that thing?" Sara asked.
"Yes," Kate said. "The world's largest, hairiest, Mary Poppins."
Everyone chuckled at the imagery.
"That's a picture I could do without," Lita said.
Hagrid remarks how he met Ginny and how she would not say no to a signed photo.
"The thing is I wouldn't have," Ginny said with a shudder. "Harry I…"
"Ginny, I know," Harry said.
"You've changed," Sara said. "A lot."
Ginny shrugged. Although she was also trying not to focus on the reason why she was there.
"To be fair, I wouldn't say no to a signed picture at that age either," Lita said.
"One signed photo," Harry said. "And I might regret that one."
"Cat Grant's lording it over everyone like a trophy," Lena said.
"Of course she is," Kara said with a chuckle. "Cat is Cat. Need I say more?"
"No, not really," Lena said.
McGonagall arrives to give Harry and Ron their detentions. Ron has to clean with Filch.
"The bane of everyone's existence," Peter said.
"Oh, I've been there," Sirius said. "More times than I can count."
"You get way too cocky for your own good, Padfoot,' James said.
"I honestly forgot about these detentions," Astra said. "So, what was your punishment?"
"It's coming," Harry said.
"Well, it can't be worse than the Forbidden Forest," Astra said.
As for Harry, he has to help Lockhart answer his fan mail.
"I stand corrected," Astra said with a grimace.
"Wow, Minnie, I didn't know torture was permitted at Hogwarts," John said.
"It was…it was to impart on Mr. Potter never to pull a stunt like that again," McGonagall said. "Plus, I agreed to let Lockhart supervise the detention so I could get him out of my office."
"Wow, under the bus you go, Dad," Kate said.
"Damn Dad, that's the worst punishment I could think of," Ruby said.
"At the time, it was," Harry said. "I wanted the Forbidden Forest."
"I would have rather had Filch hang me by my thumbs," Junior said.
"It has a certain appeal over Lockhart," Harry said.
"Oh, yes, I would rather spend a week with Filch, then a day with Lockhart," Bellatrix said.
"Especially given how inappropriate he's been acting around you," Zari said.
Everyone winched at that reminder.
Harry tries to get out of it, but Lockhart's requested Harry personally.
"Stranger danger," Lita said.
"Seriously, this guy didn't raise any red flags with you?" John asked.
"He better not have done anything," Lily said. "Or, I swear Minerva I will hold you personally re…"
"Lockhart knew better," McGonagall said. "Although it was a risk with his speciality charms. Which we didn't learn until after the fact."
"This guy has a creepy fixation on Harry," Kara said.
"He better not have done anything," Mia said.
"Lockhart's too much in love with himself to do anything like that," Harry said.
"Still, it's weird that he personally requested you," Astra argued.
"Potter's not his type anyway," Snape said.
"What is Lockhart's type?" Ginny asked.
"Your mother," Snape said.
Everyone had been taken aback from this.
"Did Snape just make a Mom joke?" Zari asked.
"No, I mean Molly Weasley is Lockhart's type," Snape said. "Women who are her...girth."
"So, he likes them with a bit extra to hold onto when going in," Sara said.
The Weasleys all winced.
"Well, there's a few more emotional scars to add to the pile," Ron said.
"So, he likes his women large and in charge," Lita said.
"Oooh, make it stop please!" Fred whined.
"Knowing your mother, she would the one topping Lockhart," Harry said.
"He sounds like the type to be pegged," Sara murmured.
"Oh, thanks a lot, now i'm not going to be able to sleep thinking about that," Ginny said with a shudder.
"Still doesn't change that Lockhart is creepily obsessed with Harry," Sirius said.
"I wouldn't have him near children," Alex said. "He just screams red flag."
"And yes, Minerva, you weren't burdened with good help," Narcissa said. "Although, I do wonder how hard Dumbledore tried. We know he only sought out next year's teacher due to certain circumstances."
"Yes," Snape said. "Yes."
Snape really hoped Potter had mercy on him and sent him straight back to Hell.
Both Harry and Ron think they have the worst end of the deal.
"Well, they're both pretty bad," Sirius said. "But, they're a different kind of bad."
"I don't know, I'd still take Filch over Lockhart," Bellatrix said.
"I wouldn't want to take either of them anywhere," Sara said.
"Maybe out to the forest and bury them?" Astra asked.
"Oh, I like how this girl thinks," Bellatrix said.
"You would," Narcissa said.
Harry arrives at Lockhart's office, and Lockhart calls him a scalawag.
"Seriously, what human being talks like this?" John asked.
"He's Lockhart, and he's not a human being," Natalie said.
"He's a walking talking set of sparkling teeth," Zari said.
"That's the most apt description of him," Ginny said.
Harry answers fan mail. For hour after hour.
"Oh, kill me, please," Astra said.
"Pretty much what I was thinking," Harry said.
"Don't blame you, kid," Sirius said. "Filch isn't looking half bad either."
Harry hears a mysterious and chilling voice.
"So, Lockhart made your brain snap?" Junior asked. "You're hearing voices."
"Hah, I knew that idiot would drive someone insane,' Bellatrix said.
"You heard that?" Ginny asked.
"Yes," Harry said.
"It's creepy to hear voices like that," Sara said. "Especially ones telling you to kill.
"Lazarus Pit?" Mia asked.
"Yes," Sara confirmed.
"Those are real?" Lily asked.
"Oh, trust me, they are," Sara said. "All of them are destroyed."
"For now," Harry said. "There's always one more than someone unearths somehow."
"There's a reason why you heard the voice," Astra said.
Lockhart doesn't hear the voice. But realizes it's late so he dismisses Harry.
"The day is saved!" Kara cheered.
"Four hours of my life I won't be getting back," Harry said.
"Ugh," Sara said.
"So this or the Forest?" Zari asked.
"Forest for sure," Harry said.
Harry makes it back first. Ron returns, sore from all of the cleaning. Harry tells Ron about the voice, but he's baffled as Harry is.
"I have no idea what to make of that," Ron said.
"Me either," Harry said. "I thought I was going mad."
"Well, in a way you could be," John said. "Or you could be possessed by demons."
"Please no," Natalie said. "That's the last thing Harry needs."
Astra knew that Harry was not. Any demon who messed with him would have been skinned alive by her own hand.
"At least Lockhart didn't do anything that he shouldn't," Charlotte said. "Although, I don't really like the idea of someone like that around childhood."
"And I can't believe that you gave into Lockhart when he requested Harry for detention," Lily said.
"Especially given what happened with the last Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," John added.
"I don't think the Dark Lord could have stomached Lockhart," Snape said.
"Do everyone a favor if those two got stuck together," Mick said.
"Not sure who I would feel more sorry for," Kara said.
"How about neither?" Alex asked.
"Savage, sis," Kara said. "But, I'll allow it."
"So things are getting interesting," Lita said.
"We're finally getting into the big mystery of the year," Nora said.
"But, what's the voice?" Lena asked.
"Well, it might have to have something to do with the title of this book," Bellatrix said. "The Chamber of Secrets. Sounds pretty juicy."
"Next chapter?" Kara asked
"If we have more Lockhart, I'm going to scream," Astra said.
"Oh, well you better start screaming, then," Ron said.
"Dumbledore really couldn't find anyone better than this twat," John said. "Unbelievable."
"Not letting this one go, Johnny C?" Sirius asked.
"Yes, you fleabag, I'll never let it go," John said. "Let's get on with the next chapter."
To Be Continued.