I found the Blue Man Group on YouTube months ago and knew I had to work it into this story, but never managed to write it until now. Hope you enjoy!
I've been reading the Hawkeye comics from 2012 and almost all of them so far start with "this looks bad" and I knew I had to include that too.
"Okay, this looks bad." Clint said as Steve came to a stop after coming out of the elevator.
There was silence behind Clint. The three bald, blue men stopped drumming and remained mute.
"Yeah, they're painted." Clint scratched his neck. "You're going to say that I could have hired actual blue people, but I'm pretty sure blueface isn't as bad as blackface."
Well, that probably wasn't the best comparison, considering he was talking to the super soldier who went 'screw segregation' long before the general population.
The members of the Blue Man Group were wide-eyed at the sight of Captain America, far more star struck than they'd been with Clint. Ouch.
Thor spoke before Steve could. "These blue men are not pretending to be Jotun or mutants."
"They could still be mutants." Clint pointed out. "Are any of you mutants? Clearly you're not naturally blue. Does that make it better or worse?"
The three blue men shook their heads.
"They are choosing to be blue." Thor told Loki, abandoning all subtlety. Not that it was too subtle to begin with, nothing like Nat would do.
Steve sighed. "Clint-"
Clint was spared a possible lecture by Loki banging a circular metal serving platter like a drum. One blue man picked it up and held it like Cap's shield. Another took it and motioned as if he was about to throw a frisbee.
The next moment, he dangled upside down in midair. The platter clattered to the ground. Clint had to admire how the blue men stuck to their whole mute act; none of them made a sound, not even the one who suddenly found himself tail over teakettle.
"Aw, Loki, no." Clint muttered. The suspended blue man got some face paint on his finger and wrote the word "HELP" on the fallen platter. The other two unsuccessfully attempted to tug him down, then teamed up to push a sofa under him to ensure a soft landing.
"Release him." Thor grumbled at Loki, striding over to catch the man while the others gestured to the sofa to say they had it covered.
The blue man tumbled onto the cushions, bouncing. He still remained silent. Clint applauded his commitment, then realized it probably looked like he was egging Loki on.
Steve folded his arms over his broad chest. Clint resigned himself to a lecture about inviting performers for Loki to torment. Not that Clint intended for this to happen; Loki had been doing better with Kurt and Hank, and he really did enjoy the Blue Man Group's music.
Steve, however, was giving Loki the disappointed-Cap look. "You should treat them with civility. They came to perform just for you."
Loki glanced at the fallen man, as if saying "I let him go, didn't I?"
The two other blue men helped the third off the couch, and they all went back to their setup of PVC pipes. Clint perched excitedly on the back of the couch. He may have booked this for himself just as much as Loki.
The Blue Man Group did a short performance on PVC pipes, then began cycling from drum to drum, moving around each other without missing a beat. That was, until Loki started moving the drums.
The blue men chased the drums around the floor while Loki provided his own laugh track as the performance was ruined.
"Be nice," Steve admonished
Loki turned to his own musical device, which began to play one of the Blue Man Group's songs. The blue men leaned in, inspecting Loki's controls. One reached out to flick a lever, another pressed a button. The song sped up and warped, and they quickly began synchronizing that as well, finding a rhythm.
It sounded much better than Loki's usual chaos. Clint wasn't surprised; they could make music out of everything.
Loki, of course, had to ruin the rhythm and return it to a state of chaos, cackling all the while.
Once Tony breezed into the room, he quickly got the Blue Man Group drumming along with the AC/DC and Black Sabbath music he had Jarvis blare from the speakers.
Loki screamed up at the speakers and sent the drums sliding away again. He was done with drums and had decided everyone else was, too.
Clint brought out a deck of cards and started shuffling, then passed the deck over to one of the blue men. They divvied up the cards among the three of them and started a synchronized shuffling rhythm.
Loki flung his arms wide, and the cards exploded out of their hands. Instead of fluttering to the ground, they fluttered around like birds. Loki flapped his arms, and they flew faster. The blue men watched, awed, and one made binoculars with his hands, pretending to bird watch.
"Well, that's a clear no for Poker," Tony muttered. Clint would have liked to see the blue men wager without words.
Thor gazed at Loki with fond exasperation. "You cannot always have your way, brother."
Clint thought Loki was arguing against that pretty well, without uttering a single word.
"What do you want to do?" Clint asked Loki wearily. He could book a private performance with the Blue Man Group later. Maybe he'd see what music they could make with a bowstring and arrows (one of the crappier practice bows, of course. He was a fan, but not enough to trust them with his best bow).
Loki flipped through one of his Shakespeare plays. Clint really didn't know why he enjoyed them so much, but he did. Loki looked pointedly at them, and Tony said "You know they don't talk, right?"
Jarvis, of course, started his own narration, and after a few glances, the blue men began to mime out Othello, following the dictated stage directions and acting with exaggerated movements along with the lines Jarvis read.
Loki settled back to enjoy the show, for once not seeming to care that all the actors were blue.