Author's Note:

We all knew this was going to be discovered soon and obviously Sirius is not impressed!

Reviews and Comments: To Queen Helen: Thank you! Sirius and Althea are not really together, more like just using each other for the moment. She will be moving to Sri Lanka soon. Queen is awesome and I definitely love Sirius being a fan. I think Sirius and Remus will have fun pranking Harry. To M: Thank you! I do love the idea of Remus being the one to want to prank Harry and Sirius thinking that can't be good parenting. It just fits! To kirsty21: Thank you!

Thank you very much for reading and please, please review!

Your reviews give me life! They give me inspiration! And they make me want to keep writing for more than just myself! Thank you!

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX:

The One With Operation Prank the Piss Out of Harry Potter

Harry ate every bite of his pork roast, mashed garlic and cheese potatoes, and his spinach salad. He made faces as he ate the spinach, but he swallowed it all. It was rather chewy, but he thought the dressing helped it slide down easier. He wondered if Uncle Sirius would be mad if he said he didn't like it.

Remus smiled as Harry cleaned his plate. "Good job, Harry. It's nice to see you eating all of your dinner. How about some dessert?"

"Yes, please," Harry said with a big smile. Dessert was his favourite.

"There's a platter of chocolate chip cookies on the counter or if you check the ice box, there's a plate of brown-e's. You can choose." Remus told him with a smile.

Harry grinned, jumping down from his chair and heading to the ice box. He loved brownies. He carefully carried the covered plate over to the table and put it in front of Sirius. "Brownies please."

"Open it up then, Prongslet," he urged, winking at Remus.

Harry carefully pulled back the foil and his eyes widened. The whole plate was covered in brown letter E's. "Uncle Moony! This isn't brownies!"

Remus' eyebrow cocked in surprise, "Sure they are, little Prongs," he picked up one of the E's made from cardboard and painted dark brown. "See, it is brown and it is an E. A plate of brown-e's."

Harry stared at him for a minute and then he laughed. "Uncle Moony, you're silly."

Remus smiled at him. "Sometimes. Sirius told me that you helped Ginny pull a little prank on her brothers so I thought maybe I'd pull a little prank on you."

Sirius grinned. "The prank war is on, Moony, better watch out."

Harry stared at them in fascination. "Prank War?"

Sirius grinned widely. "It's going to be fun, Prongslet, just you wait."

Harry learned exactly what a 'prank war' was over the next few days.

Remus replaced Sirius' dishes with dog bowls; Sirius made Remus' shoes sing Werewolves of London.

Remus put purple hair dye in Sirius' shampoo.

Sirius and Harry painted pictures all over Remus' face when he fell asleep on the couch (including a very well-endowed penis covering most of his friend's arm).

Sirius froze Harry's cereal and Harry put yellow food colouring in water, pouring it on Sirius' pillow while he slept.

Remus let jelly harden in a glass with a straw and gave it to Harry for lunch.

Harry put salt in the sugar container and watched Remus scoop it into his tea.

Sirius put itching powder in Remus' boxer shorts.

Remus put dog shampoo in Sirius' shampoo, and so on.

None of them could decide who the winner was, but they all laughed up-roaringly and Harry giggled in excitement at the prospect of being allowed to participate in such events.

By the end of the week, he was even urging Sirius and Remus to pull pranks. When the letter came from the Weasleys that weekend, inviting Harry over for the afternoon, Sirius thought that it was the perfect opportunity to let Harry have fun in a different way than their Prank War.

Sirius used the Floo to drop him off the next afternoon, dusting him off as they came into the Weasleys' living room and smiling warmly at Mrs Weasley.

"Thanks for inviting Harry over, Molly," Sirius told her with a smile. "He's very excited, right, Harry?"

He nodded eagerly as he smiled at her. "Thank you, Mrs Weasley."

She smiled warmly, a flowered apron around her waist. "You're very welcome, Harry, dear. Ron and Ginny are out back, go on!"

Harry turned to look at Sirius and he smiled. "Go on, Harry. I'll come pick you up after dinner, okay?"

Harry grinned at him before he hurried out the backdoor.

Sirius smiled at Mrs Weasley. "He's been bugging me about seeing your kids again, so thanks for the invite. Maybe next time they can come to my place?"

"Of course. Our house is always open and really what's one more?" she said on a laugh. "Is seven o'clock all right with you to come and get him?"

"Perfect," he said, smiling. "I'll be home all afternoon if anything happens or if Harry needs me."

Mrs Weasley smiled, sympathetically. "He'll be fine, Sirius."

"Right," he said, grinning. "See you later."

Harry was having the time of his life. They were playing hide and seek and he was loving every minute of it. They switched to tag and then Ginny convinced him to help her dress up the garden gnomes. He had been bitten three times, but they looked so silly, like little potatoes dressed in doll clothes, that it had been worth it. Especially when Ron showed him how to swing them in a circle and throw them across the field. At first, Harry felt bad, but when he saw that it didn't hurt them, he soon assisted Ron in tossing them away.

He wondered if he could sneak a garden gnome into Sirius' bed. That would be funny.

By the time Mrs Weasley called them inside for a snack, he knew that Sirius had been right. They were his friends. And they didn't think that he was a freak. He had told them about the pranks he, Sirius, and Remus had been playing on each other and Ron and Ginny laughed appreciatively before they told him about some of the stuff Fred and George had pulled off.

He had laughed so much his sides hurt.

They stepped into the kitchen where Mrs Weasley had prepared a snack of cheese, kielbasa, and crackers and made themselves comfortable at the table.

"Go wash up first," she instructed as Harry followed Ron and Ginny upstairs to the loo.

Once they were clean, they sat down at the table and Harry eagerly took a bite. They were delicious. He looked up when the tall thin red-headed man came into the room. He recognized him as Mr Weasley and his eyes stayed on him as he ate. He hadn't really spoken to him before and he wasn't sure what to make of the newcomer.

Mr Weasley moved around the table, greeting his children and smiled at Harry. He put his hand on his shoulder ready to squeeze in lieu of greeting, the way he had just done to his children. Harry jumped up from his seat so far, he knocked his pumpkin juice onto the floor, spilling it everywhere.

"Harry! Sorry, son, I didn't mean to scare you!" Mr Weasley explained, taking a step towards Harry in apology.

Harry moved further away, his eyes on the mess that he had just made. His stomach was clenched tight in a ball of fear that he couldn't quite explain. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to spill it! I'm sorry!"

"It's okay, Harry," Mrs Weasley said gently, reaching down to pick up the cup and using her wand to get rid of the mess. "It was an accident."

Harry nodded, his breathing uneven and he continued to back away slowly until his back was pressed against the kitchen wall. They had invited him over and he had been ungrateful; he'd made a mess. They wouldn't want him to come over ever again. And Mr Weasley, he was the head of the family, and the head of the household always punished those who were ungrateful.

"Ungrateful little brat, I'll show you what the head of the household does to little twerps like you!" Uncle Vernon's voice echoed in his head.

"You think that hurt the other day, I'll show you what happens when you break something in this house that doesn't belong to you!"

The memories consumed him for a moment and his whole body trembled in irrational fear as Mr Weasley walked over to him.

"Really, Harry, I didn't mean to startle you. Come back to the table, son." Mr Weasley took a step closer to him and Harry panicked.

"NO!" he screamed so loudly that all of the Weasleys jumped in alarm as the three kitchen windows shattered, exploding glass all around the room before Harry bolted out the backdoor and ran into the yard, his breathing heavy. He wasn't even sure why he was running, but when he got to the pond, he stopped to catch his breath, his eyes alight in panic when he saw Mr Weasley following him.

"Don't you run, boy! If I have to catch you, you'll have no food for a week!"

"I'm sorry!" he yelled, his eyes wide and terrified as Uncle Vernon's voice echoed in his head. "I'm not ungrateful! I'm sorry! Don't — don't hit me!" The last words coming out in a panicked whisper as he held his arms up to protect himself.

"Hit you?" Mr Weasley exclaimed in astonishment. "Harry, I would NEVER hit you. Son, I'm not going to hurt you." He turned when he saw his daughter next to him and watched in amazement as she ignored Harry's panic and wrapped her arms around him.

"It's okay, Harry. My Daddy is the nicest man in the whole world! He's not mad at you."

Harry seemed baffled by her hugging him, but he soon wrapped his arms around her too and his breathing slowly returned to normal. The sense of panic slowly leaving him.

Ginny had just stepped back from him when he saw Sirius hurrying towards him and he bolted straight for his godfather, arms outstretched and let Sirius scoop him up into his warm safe arms.

"Harry, are you okay?" Sirius asked, hugging him close, kissing his cheek and sighing when Harry merely curled into him, clinging tightly with his face in the crook of Sirius' neck, as if terrified he would disappear before his eyes.

Mr Weasley looked baffled as he stared at Sirius. "I'm terribly sorry, Sirius, I seemed to have startled him. I reached down to squeeze his shoulder in greeting and he just… I'm sorry."

Sirius shook his head. "It's not your fault, Arthur. He doesn't… it's not your fault." He kissed Harry's forehead and his ear. "Prongslet, no one is mad at you. It was just an accident. Mr and Mrs Weasley know that." He gently rubbed his hand up and down Harry's back as he spoke. "Do you want to come home or do you want to stay and play with Ron and Ginny some more?"

"They won't let me stay," he whispered, his lips tickling Sirius' neck as he spoke with his head buried against his godfather.

"Of course they will," Sirius told him. "No one is mad at you. You're not in any trouble, I promise." When Harry's eyes met his, he smiled. "Would I ever lie to you?"

Harry smiled a little. "No."

Sirius kissed his nose and made him laugh. "Do you want to stay or do you want to go home?"

Harry hesitated and his little hands fisted in Sirius' tee-shirt before he spoke. "Can you stay too?"

Sirius smiled. "Definitely." He put Harry back on his feet, his hands on his shoulders as Harry turned to look at Mr Weasley.

"I'm sorry, Mr Weasley," he said quietly.

Mr Weasley smiled at him. "No worries, Harry. It was my fault, I scared you. Go on now and play with Ron and Ginny."

Ginny took Harry's hand, tugging him with her. Harry looked back at Sirius questioningly as Sirius smiled at him and urged him to go. He let Ginny tug him away as Ron gestured for them to follow and the three of them took off across the yard heading to the little orchard where Bill, Charlie, and Percy were playing Quidditch.

Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed. "Thanks for calling me, Molly."

Mrs Weasley nodded, staring at her husband. "I just didn't want to scare him further. He seemed like he was going to have a panic attack. I've never seen a child look so terrified."

Sirius sighed. "Don't make any sudden movements around him, Molly. He needs to be aware of where you are at all times. If you do that, he won't panic."

Mr Weasley looked across where the kids disappeared by the orchard. "I've never seen a child react like that before. He… he begged me not to hit him. As if I would ever strike — is he all right, Sirius?"

"The people he was living with before mistreated him. He's going to be fine. But if he's too much for you lot to handle, I will take him home."

"No!" Mrs Weasley insisted, her eyes sad. "We love to have him here and Ginny and Ron like him so much. Arthur and I will be more cautious. It just seemed to happen so suddenly it surprised us. The windows exploded and… thankfully no one was hurt and it was an easy fix, but the poor boy was terrified!"

Sirius shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. "That's partly my fault, I should have warned you. He's really only been around Remus and I and my cousin Tonks for the most part and he trusts us, but he doesn't… he doesn't know you yet. Remus and I are still working on making him more comfortable with us. We've been pulling pranks on him to make him smile and he's starting to prank us back, which is fun. He's loosening up, not being so afraid to be a child. Being here with you and your family, I think it shows him what a real family is and that's good for him too. He trusts Ginny and Ron."

"Ginevra embraced him and hugged him tight until his breathing evened out and he let her," Mr Weasley commented. "It surprised me that he just let her move in on him like that after he was so terrified of me just standing near him. He trusts her."

Sirius smiled. "Children aren't the problem, Arthur. His tosser of an aunt and uncle were."

Mrs Weasley nodded. "Well, come on inside then, Sirius. If you're staying for dinner, I'd better get started on it."

~ ASC ~

Spending time with the Weasleys was very good for Harry. He helped Ginny and Ron play tricks on their older brothers, usually with the help of Fred and George. And over the next two weeks, Harry had spent five separate days at the Burrow. He idolized Bill a little and he asked him endless questions about Hogwarts. Charlie was on the Quidditch team and Harry loved watching him soar around the orchard on his broom and his eyes gleamed in fascination. He couldn't wait until he was old enough to fly a broom. He loved it at the Burrow and he hadn't had any other panic attacks or bad reactions to anything at the Weasley household since that afternoon. On the fifth day, he had even hugged Mr Weasley goodbye, surprising Mr Weasley, who pat his head affectionately.

As for the Prank War at home, Sirius and Remus were still keeping it strong.

They had covered Harry's bed in raisins and convinced him it was mouse poop.

Remus had switched out some of Sirius' albums so that when he went to play AC/DC, Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun belted out or The Rolling Stones album was suddenly playing I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor and Blue Öyster Cult was Aretha Franklin demanding a little Respect.

Sirius cut tiny holes in the little bags Remus carried in his pockets full of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans so he kept leaving trails of candy wherever he went.

But it was the end of August when Harry had worked up the courage to pull a prank on Sirius and Remus together. He had been working on it for two days, keeping it a secret from them, but he had gotten help from Tonks, who was thrilled at the idea of endless pranking taking place.

They rigged the fireplace up with flour and confetti and sprinkles so that when someone tried to use the Floo, the hidden bucket would spill out, dusting the person in a mess.

Remus had Apparated that morning, but Sirius was heading out to see Althea and Harry was anxiously awaiting him to use the Floo. He didn't know who Althea was or why Sirius was going out to see her, but he couldn't wait to see his godfather get covered in his concoction.

But it wasn't Sirius.

The Floo lit up and a tall man with a crooked nose, a long silver beard, and half-moon glasses stepped out of the fireplace, covered from head to toe in flour, confetti, and sprinkles — and Harry giggled. The giggles turned into fits of laughter as Sirius and Remus stared open-mouthed at Albus Dumbledore.

"Albus, what exactly were you up to before stopping by?" Sirius asked, laughing.

Dumbledore carefully wiped his eyes which were twinkling in laughter. "Sirius, you may have a slight problem in your fireplace. The Floo seems to be malfunctioning."

Harry roared, clutching his stomach, and Remus' eyes widened.

"Little Prongs, did you do this?"

Harry nodded in between his laughter. "It — was — supposed — to — be — Uncle — Padfoot!" he gasped in between his laughs and Remus busted into laughter.

"We've created a monster, Sirius," he said with a grin.

Sirius smirked, bending down and picking up Harry by the legs, holding him upside down, as the child cackled. "You thought I'd look funny like that, did you?"

"Yes!" Harry squealed, laughing as Sirius swing him upside down back and forth in front of his feet like the pendulum of a grandfather clock.

Dumbledore smiled, using a quick cleansing charm on himself. "I see you three are getting along quite famously."

Sirius lifted Harry up into his arms, settling him on his hip and grinning when Harry merely monkey crawled onto his shoulders. He reached up to hold his waist and to keep him steady as Harry's hands played with his hair.

"Been having a bit of a Prank War, Albus, sorry that you got caught in the crossfire."

Dumbledore waved his hand in front of him as he grinned. "Not to worry, no harm done."

Sirius smiled. "Harry, do you remember Professor Dumbledore? He's the Headmaster of Hogwarts. You met him once a few months ago?"

Harry nodded, smiling kindly at the man. "Hello. I'm sorry for the prank."

Dumbledore chuckled. "It was a very good prank, Harry. I'm only sorry that I didn't get to see you cover Sirius in it." When Harry beamed at him, he smiled. "Sirius, may I have a private word?"

Sirius nodded, lifting Harry down from his shoulders. "Of course. Down you go, Prongslet." He left Harry with Remus and he led Dumbledore into the sun room, closing the glass door behind him and placing a silencing charm. "As private as we can get. What can I do for you, Albus?"

Dumbledore smiled. "It seems that you three are working well together. The fact that you have Harry pranking the two of you is quite a feat."

Sirius grinned. "It was Rem's idea and I think it was brilliant. We're trying to get Harry to see that he doesn't have to be a little angel all of the time. We want him to, you know — be a kid and have fun."

"An excellent idea and one I think that is being executed well judging by that prank he had planned for you," Dumbledore said with a smile. "Has he had anymore nightmares since we spoke last?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, none that he's remembered anyway, but he has snuck into my bed twice more since then. And he had a panic attack at the Weasleys two weeks ago, but he's all right now."

"A panic attack?"

Sirius nodded. "I think he had some flashbacks of memory too from the way Arthur explained it to me, but Arthur Weasley startled him, and well, it just set him off. He accidentally exploded all of the windows in their kitchen, but he loves going there now. He's even become friendly enough that he hugged Arthur goodbye the other day. He's coming around."

"That's good to hear. Him wanting to be close to you at night is perfectly normal as well," Dumbledore told him. "I'm glad to see him smiling and seemingly so at home and happy."

Sirius grinned. "Me too. Like you said, it takes time."

Dumbledore smiled as he reached into his cloak. "I have two things for you. First is this," he said as he un-shrunk the package that he had just pulled from his cloak to its rightful size and handed it over. "It's a Pensieve dish. Make sure that you find a safe place to store it as you don't want anyone stumbling across it accidentally."

"Thank you," Sirius said, his eyes on the wrapped box. "I haven't even mentioned this to Remus yet. But I want to get started on it soon."

Dumbledore nodded. "I think it's a wonderful idea. Secondly, about the potion we spoke about."

Sirius' eyes whipped up to his. "Did you get the recipe?"

"Yes, and no," he said carefully, taking a seat on the edge of the desk.

"What does that mean?" Sirius demanded. "Can we get it for Remus or not? The next moon isn't until the middle of September but — what's the verdict here?"

Dumbledore hesitated before he spoke. "It is an extremely volatile and difficult potion to make. It needs to steep for exactly six hours and must be drunk within thirty minutes of steep time completion and it must be drank within two hours of the sun setting. The ingredients are expensive as well." He rattled off a steep price, but Sirius just shrugged.

"I don't care how much it costs, I want to know if we can brew it."

Dumbledore shook his head. "It takes a lot of effort and a lot of time to make it once a month; something you won't be able to do with Harry around — but I think I have a solution for you."

"I'm open to anything," Sirius told him gratefully.

Dumbledore nodded. "I've spoken to the potions professor at Hogwarts and he has agreed to faithfully brew the potion for Remus if you supply all of the ingredients."

"Done."

He hesitated. "You would have to come to Hogwarts the day before the full moon to take the first sample of the potion to bring back to Remus. Once it is in his system, he can drink from the same potion for the next two nights, but it must always be within two hours of the sun setting for the potion to take full affect. Belby recommends one hour before, but says a two hour window is allowed if necessary."

"Not a problem, Albus. I'll make sure he drinks all of it."

Dumbledore smiled, tapping his long fingers on his thigh. "Severus will start brewing it on the morning of the seventeenth of September. You can come pick it up for Remus that evening. You will take the rest of the potion home for him for the next two nights. Severus will give you proper instructions then. Understood?"

Sirius nodded, grinning in excitement. "I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe there is a potion out there that will finally help him! And the fact that old Sluggy is willing to — wait, you said Severus not Slughorn?"

"I did, yes."

Sirius' eyes darkened. "Albus, who exactly is the Potions Professor nowadays?"

"Severus Snape."

"Fuck no!" Sirius exclaimed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "There's no fucking way Rem's taking anything that prick brews! He'll bloody poison him!"

"I assure you that he will not," Dumbledore told him quietly. "Severus is not going to let an old schoolyard grudge get in the way of helping a man in need. He will faithfully brew the potion for Remus without fail, I give you my word."

Sirius simply stared at him. "Bloody hell, Albus, Severus Fucking Snape — you hired bloody Snivellus?"

"Snape is a brilliant Potioneer and he came to me amidst the war seeking refuge. All of his friends had turned Death Eaters. I took him in and I gave him a job and he has never once disappointed me," Dumbledore told him sternly. "He will brew the Wolfsbane Potion for Remus. Unless you think that you can brew it yourself, truly?"

Sirius' fists clenched at his sides. He had always excelled at his studies, but Potions had never been his strong suit while Snape had O's across the board. Dumbledore was right, he was a brilliant Potioneer and turning down this opportunity to help Remus because of an old schoolyard grudge was not only petty and stupid, but it was downright ridiculous. He wouldn't let his cloudy judgment stop him from helping his best friend.

Even if he didn't trust Snape as far as Harry could throw him.

"Snivelly can make it," Sirius spat out and Dumbledore's eyes merely stared at him. "I mean — Snape can make it."

He smiled. "Good. You'll be receiving an owl with a bill for the ingredients by the end of the week. The seventeenth, Sirius."

Sirius nodded, removing the silencing charm as Dumbledore headed out to go. "I'll be there."