Author's Note:

I've always had the idea in my head that Sirius was abused quite a lot as a child and he didn't know it; not really, he thought that it was perfectly normal to be disciplined like that. I also have this head cannon where Sirius and Lily were always kind of friends from the get-go. Lily was friendly with all of the Marauders through most of first year until a lot of the pranks and ridiculous arrogance started to arise and that's when she started to view them as bullies and as big-headed prats. But I think she and Sirius were always friends on some level. As were her and Remus, who I just know bonded over muggle literature.

But I think that Sirius and James are one of the most important relationships to explore because they were essentially brothers in every way. And I wanted to show why that was so important to Sirius and why he loved James so much more than his other friends. Not that he loved them any less, but as to why James held such an important place in his heart and how that notion: We all bleed red — something Sirius told Regulus — became so important to him and to help him understand why he was so different from his family.

Reviews and Comments: To E-Dett: Thank you! I wanted to show that Walburga Black had the ability to intimate him as a child, it took a lot for him to realize he could stand up to her. To Claire Fraser: Yes, poor Sirius! He wants to please his parents, but is starting to question their choices and decisions as well. He wants to make his own choices. Thank you! I really love that, we all bleed red. Thanks for the review!

Thank you very much for reading and please, please review!

Your reviews give me life! They give me inspiration! And they make me want to keep writing for more than just myself! Thank you!

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR:

The One Where Padfoot and Prongs Become Blood Brothers

"We all bleed red, you know," Sirius whispered aloud to himself as he remembered James' words. They were words to live by and he had never forgotten them despite how badly he had treated James Potter over the next few weeks.

Sirius remembered how he had spent the next two weeks moping around the castle. He had rarely spoken to anyone except to bark at them in anger. He ate in silence, did his homework in the silence of the library, and sat at the back of every class, keeping his head down. He spoke to Narcissa every few days and told her to report back to his mother that he was friendless just like she wanted. He remembered how miserable that first month had been until Lily, McGonagall, and James had shoved him back into gear.

He kicked the stones under his feet, tossing one into the Black Lake, his hands in his pockets as a gust of cool wind blew off the water. He turned at the sound of his name and saw Lily walking towards him.

Unlike James, Remus, and Peter who had took him at his word and had stopped talking to him as much as possible since his argument with James, Lily had kept pestering him; asking him if he was okay and reminding him that she was a good listener. Every time he had tried to push her away she only ignored him and continued to be incredibly nice to him.

He had no idea why.

"Sirius!" she called again, waving at him. "Professor McGonagall is looking for you."

"Thanks," he said, picking up his book bag and heading towards the castle, ignoring her when she called out after him.

It took him ten minutes to find her office, kicking his feet as he went, and when he knocked, her brisk 'come in' led him inside. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw his cousin Narcissa Black sitting in front of her desk.

"Evans said that you wanted to see me, Professor?" he asked, his eyes moving from her to Narcissa, her golden blonde hair in a long braid down her back.

"Yes, Mr Black, sit down."

Sirius took a seat next to his cousin, smiling when McGonagall offered him a biscuit. "Is everything all right?" he asked. He couldn't fathom why he and Narcissa were both in here.

"Miss Black came to see me with worry about you, Sirius. She says that you don't have any friends and that you spend all of your time alone." McGonagall said kindly, her eyes on his. "Is this true?"

Sirius looked at Narcissa in surprise. "Why?"

Narcissa shrugged. "Auntie Wally's a bit extreme in her views, Sirius. I think you are taking her words too literally."

Sirius glared at her. "She told me that you would spy on me and tell her if I did anything that she disapproved of!"

Narcissa sighed and gave him a small smile. "I'm in fifth year. I don't have time to be spying on you, Sirius, and frankly I don't care what you do."

He looked cheered up by this. "You — you don't?"

"You were placed in Gryffindor for a reason. Be friends with whomever you want. I won't say a word to your mum. I swear." She stood up and nodded at McGonagall. "Look out for him, Professor."

Sirius watched her close the door behind her and he reached for another biscuit, eating quietly. "Can I go now, Professor?"

McGonagall shook her head. "Not yet, Mr Black." She folded her hands in front of her and just looked at him for a moment. When he started to shift uncomfortably she sighed. "Sirius, did your mother tell you that you were not to be friends with James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew?"

Sirius only nodded, his grey eyes on hers. "They aren't worthy of the Black family name."

McGonagall muttered under her breath as she spoke. "You defended Miss Evans and Miss McDonald when they were bullied by Mr Avery and Mr Rosier. You jumped in to help Mr Potter as he defended them. You chose to not be in Slytherin despite your mother's insistence that it was where you belong. That sounds like bravery to me, Mr Black; like a true Gryffindor, actually."

He managed a small smile at her words and brushed his hair out of his eyes before he carefully masked it. "She'll know, Professor. If she finds out that I defended a Muggleborn she'll know and —"

"And she'll what, Mr Black?" McGonagall asked carefully, her eyes on his. The fear in his eyes before he quickly masked it alarmed her.

"I'm already in trouble with her. I don't want to be in any more."

"Everyone gets in trouble now and again. I daresay it makes life a little bit more fun, does it not? I seem to recall a Howler a few weeks ago that told of a few pranks you played at home before coming to school."

Sirius smiled slowly. "She hates it when I pull pranks, but it's fun and it's not like they hurt anyone. They just made me laugh. But Mum gets so mad and I know she's going to have Dad belt — I mean, ground me for the entire holiday."

McGonagall noticed his slip up and her voice was soft when she spoke. "Does your father hurt you, Sirius?"

Sirius shrugged, offering her a smile. "No, of course not. Just, you know, regular discipline when I misbehave, which I do — a lot."

"Sirius, you know that there's a big difference between discipline and discipline that is harmful, right?"

Sirius thought of the scars on his back and shook his head. "I know, Professor. I'm fine, really."

McGonagall watched him for a moment. She hesitated before she spoke, choosing her words carefully. "You and James Potter are a lot alike, Mr Black. The way that you were joking and laughing with each other that first week, I could tell that you were going to be great friends. As for Mr Lupin and Mr Pettigrew, you all seemed to hit it off very well. Miss Evans always has a smile for you and I've been watching you push them all way. I'd hate to see you lose out on such wonderful friendships because your mother thinks that they aren't worthy of you. Anyone brave enough to be chosen for Gryffindor should know how wonderful any friend they could make in the same house would be."

"Even… even if that was true," Sirius told her, taking another biscuit when she offered it. "They hate me now." His grey eyes were full of sadness and she smiled warmly at him as his hair fell into his eyes.

"No, they don't." She stood up, coming around the desk to sit in the chair next to him. "I know that sometimes going against your parents is a very hard choice to make. But making your own choices are very important as well. You have to do what you believe in, Sirius. If you truly do not want to be friends with those boys, then don't. But if you are only pushing them away because your mother insists on it, I think that you should reconsider."

She surprised him then by gently brushing his dark hair away from his face, her eyes kind. "And if you ever need to talk about anything, my door is always open. Always."

Sirius smiled at her. "Thanks Professor."

"Now, go on, you'll miss lunch."

Sirius got to his feet and grabbed his bag, smiling at her before he hurried from the office feeling like a huge weight had just been lifted from his chest. He ran down the corridor, his grin widening when he spotted Lily Evans up ahead, talking to Snape.

He grabbed her, tugging her to him and hugging her close. "Evans!"

She laughed, hugging him back as he squeezed her tightly. "Sirius, what are you doing?" she exclaimed as he let her go and grinned widely at her. "It's nice to see you smiling again."

"I'm sorry that I've been a prat lately, all moody and whatnot. You were really nice to me and I didn't deserve it." he told her honestly, smiling at her.

Snape crossed his arms in front of his chest, glowering at the two of them. "I'm going to go to lunch, Lily."

"Oh, okay — bye, Sev!" she said, turning back to Sirius. "It really is nice to see you smiling again. Did you make up with James, Remus, and Peter?"

He shook his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. "No. I want to, though — do you think that they'll forgive me for being such a huge prat?"

Lily shrugged, gesturing for him to sit on the bench with her. "I don't know. I guess it depends on how much of a prat you were."

He smiled at her, his grey eyes watching her from under his long lashes. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said about listening and… I mean, if you'd still… I mean, you know…" He blushed and shifted uncomfortably on the bench.

Lily smiled, reaching out to touch his arm. "I'd love to listen to anything you want to tell me, Sirius."

Sirius' smile widened as he looked at her. "Well, I don't want to burden you with my poor little rich boy problems."

"Burden away," Lily told him, crossing her legs. "I have nothing more important to do than listen to someone who needs to talk."

He watched her for a moment. He wasn't sure exactly why the sight of her had excited him so much. But after leaving McGonagall's office, he had seen her and he remembered how nice she had been to him, offering to let him talk, making sure that he was okay. She had to be the nicest person that he had ever met and he realized that he wanted to be friends with her. A Muggleborn witch. Maybe it was partly to despite his mother, he thought, but it was also because of her. She made him want to be her friend.

"The other day when I got that howler," he began, watching her green eyes focus on him in interest. "My mum came to the school to talk to Dumbledore. She wanted me to be removed from Gryffindor and be put into Slytherin immediately. We argued and Dumbledore told her that the hat always places the students where they belong. She was furious. She hit me which is why my mouth was bleeding," he told her as her eyes widened in shock. Her hand grasped his and he felt reassured by it. "But she told me that I couldn't be friends with James, Remus, and Peter because… because they're not worthy of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. When I argued with her she used Cruc — I mean, she er, yelled at me and well… that almost always has the desired effect she wants. So, I gave in. And I pushed everyone away. I did what she wanted."

He was quiet for a moment. He had slipped up there a bit, but since Lily was Muggleborn he didn't have to worry about her understanding what he had been about to say.

"Thanks for listening, Lily. I hope that we can be friends."

Lily smiled warmly at him. "We are friends, silly." She hugged him and kissed his cheek. "And if you ever need to talk, I'm always here to listen."

He hugged her back and smiled. "Thanks. I have to go find James, Remus, and Peter and make it up to them. I'll see you around?"

She nodded as he hurried off and soon Sirius plopped onto the bench next to Peter in the Great Hall and smiled at the three first year Gryffindor boys. "Hi, Pete."

Peter turned to look at him in surprise, his mouth full of mashed potato. "Sirius!"

"Has anyone ever told you to eat with your mouth closed?" he asked, flicking Peter's cheek as mashed potato dribbled down his chin.

Peter grimaced and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Only every day."

"So, what are you three doing this afternoon?" Sirius asked, watching them.

Peter looked nervously at James and Remus. "We're going down to the lake to enjoy the sun while it's still kind of warm out. I'd invite you, but I wouldn't want our unworthiness to rub off on you."

James snorted at that and looked at Remus. "Remus isn't feeling too great, Pete, so he says that he's going to see Madam Pomfrey after lunch so it's just you and me."

"What's wrong, Remus?" Sirius asked, his eyebrow furrowing. Now that he looked at him he did look a bit peaky. His face pale and clammy looking.

"Why do you care? It's not like we're friends or anything." James demanded, getting to his feet. "Come on, Remus! Pete and I will go with you to the hospital wing."

Sirius watched them head off and he sighed. He definitely had a lot to make up for. Fifteen minutes later, he found James and Peter by the lake, skipping stones across the water as James carefully instructed Peter how to do it.

Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets as he approached them. "Nice one!" he said as James' stone skipped eight times before plunking beneath the surface of the lake.

James only looked at him. "What do you want, Sirius?"

Sirius moved closer to them, his eyes on the lake. "I want to be friends, if you guys will have me."

Peter grinned at this and punched him lightly in the arm. "That's all we wanted to begin with until you decided to be a great prat."

"He's too good to hang out with the likes of us, Pete," James said, whipping another stone and watching it skip six times before sinking.

"I'm not," Sirius said, desperately. "I'm a huge git and I don't deserve to have you guys as friends. I get it if you don't want to talk to me anymore. But I hope you'll change your mind."

"And why should we?" James demanded, turning to stare at Sirius, his hazel eyes flashing in anger. "You pushed us away!"

Sirius kicked at the stones by his feet as he spoke. "Because I let my mum bully me into thinking that I can't be friends with you blokes and I… I don't want to let her bully me anymore."

James was quiet for a moment. "I'm glad that you came to your senses."

Sirius looked up quickly, his grey eyes hopeful. "Really?"

James smiled at him and hit him in the arm. "We like this prat, right Pete?"

Peter nodded, smiling back. "Yeah we do."

Sirius smiled at them. "I was hoping that you guys would say that because I've been thinking of pulling a prank in the common room and I could really use some help with it."

James' arm draped over Sirius' shoulders. "Oh, I'm definitely in. What did you have in mind?"

They had forgiven him immediately and it had been the best thing to ever happen to them. They had become his true family. He had made his second choice away from the House of Black and it had been worth it.

He glanced up at the clock with a start. Harry was sleeping over at the Weasleys tonight and he hadn't meant to spend so much time down here with the Pensieve, but time had gotten away from him as he travelled through his memories. There were still three more memories from Snape sitting there that he had yet to view.

Sirius shook his head, closing the box and heading up to bed. He would view them in the morning when his head was less foggy. But when he climbed into his king-sized bed, his dreams didn't come lightly to him.

He woke in a panic filled sweat, the cold and the darkness creeping in around him. He wasn't sure if it was because he was alone in the house for the first time since Harry had moved in or if he could strictly blame the memories, but he hadn't had such an intense nightmare in months.

He reached for his wand, desperate for the light and grateful for Marauder who trudged up to his bed to cuddle close with him, missing his boy. He stroked the dog for a few moments until his heart stopped pounding and then he made his way into the bath and splashed cold water on his face, his body trembling from the memory of the Cruciatus curse hitting him while his mother held the wand. His nightmare had been flashes: Walburga — Orion — James and Lily dead — alone in his cell in Azkaban — the carnage surrounding him when Peter disappeared and his heart was still pounding…

Sirius stared at himself in the mirror before he decided to take a hot shower, enjoying the warmth of the water before he made his way downstairs. He'd finally had the master bathroom fixed up the way he wanted it, equipped with a full tub and a stand-up shower. He'd splurged a bit here, but he didn't care. After his time in prison, he wanted to be able to enjoy himself while he kept himself clean. He had a large stand-up shower added plus he'd kept the big claw-foot tub under the window. He brushed his hair in front of the mirror and glanced down at his watch on the counter.

It was just shy of four, but he knew from experience that he wouldn't be going back to sleep. It had been a while since he'd had a nightmare that intense.

He made himself a cup of tea, talking himself out of adding Firewhiskey to it, and took a seat at the table, his eyes on the bottled up memories. He stared at them for a moment and then picked up the next memory from Snape and poured it into the basin.

Lily sat in the library across from Snape. She was munching on the end of her pen, her three-ring notebook opened in front of her as she carefully re-copied her history of magic notes from the day before; colour coding them in different colour markers as she went. She hesitated when she felt someone staring at her and she looked up into Snape's amused face.

"What?"

"That's ridiculous, you do know that, right?" he asked her, nodding at the notebook.

"Why?"

Snape rolled his eyes. "You're just re-writing the same notes you made in class today. What a complete waste of time."

"It is not," she insisted, smiling down at her perfectly organized and colour-coded notes. "It helps me focus on what I learned for the day and to organize my notes a little easier to study from. Besides, it's so much more organized in this than on bits of parchment everywhere."

Snape only grinned at her. "You're quirky."

Lily laughed and stretched her arms up over her head. "I accept that." She glanced over at the clock and sighed. "It's almost curfew, we should pack up before Madam Pince comes in and tosses us out."

Snape nodded and began to pack up his own homework. "So, what did Black want earlier?"

"Hmm?" Lily asked, bending down to pick up the markers she knocked onto the floor.

"Black. He came over earlier and hugged you like he hadn't seen you in weeks. I thought we agreed that he's a prat."

"He is," Lily said, standing back up. "I mean, he can be. He seems kind of lonely lately."

"So what you're friends now?" Snape demanded rather suspiciously.

Lily sighed. She knew that Snape was a little protective of her; maybe a little too much. He seemed to be having a hard time adjusting to her having friends other than him.

"Yes, I think we are."

"He calls me Snivellus," he said, bitterly.

Lily's brow furrowed at that. "I've asked him to stop, but it would go a long way if you stopped being such an ogre to everyone."

"I'm not an ogre," Snape exclaimed, grabbing his book bag as they stood up.

"You are a little bit. You barely even talk to Mary or Marlene or Dory or Deanna or King when they study with us."

"They're insipid bores!"

"No, they're not," Lily insisted as they left the library. "You, Severus Snape, are a snob."

He snorted at her words. "Okay, maybe a little." When she smiled at him he grinned back at her. "I just miss when it was just you and me, you know? Now it's like we're both being pulled in different directions. Avery and Rosier think I'm stupid to still be friends with you and you're making all of these new friends. I just miss the way it was before we came here."

"Sev, just because the two of us are making new friends doesn't mean that we can't make room for each other," she told him. "And I'm not overly fond of your new friends either. They call me a Mudblood."

"I know and I'm so sorry about that!" Snape exclaimed, his eyes sad. "I've explained to them how great you are, but they are very set in their ways. I told them never to say that again to you."

Lily nodded, thinking of the way James and Sirius had defended her that day. "It would have been nice if you could have done something in the moment, Sev."

"What? Did you want me to punch them like Potter did? I'd never stoop to something so utterly neanderthal."

"I didn't think it was neanderthal," Lily told him, looking at him from beneath her eyelashes. "I thought that they were very brave. And James Potter is the one who told me what that word meant. Not you. You could have given me a heads up, Sev."

"Lily, that was weeks ago, why are you going on about it now?"

"It's been on my mind and frankly, I'm still angry about it!"

"It won't happen again, Lily. I swear it. I won't let them hurt you." Snape told her desperately, stopping to touch her arm. "I won't."

Lily smiled at him. His eyes were full of desperation and hope and she sighed. She knew that he hadn't meant to hurt her, but when he hadn't defended her it had hurt her. The fact that he was trying to make up for it meant a great deal to her. "Thanks, Sev."

They walked in companionable silence for a moment and then Lily stopped suddenly, turning to look at him. "Sev, you know lots of stuff about magic and… I know it's only October, so we haven't learnt that much yet — but I heard something today and I didn't understand what it meant."

Snape looked at her questioningly. "What did you hear?"

"Cruc… I don't know the rest of the word, he — it got cut off. It just sounded terrible, but I have no idea what it is."

Snape's eyes widened. He looked at Lily in alarm before tugging her into an empty classroom and closing the door. "Crucio?" When she nodded he stared at her in horror. "Where on earth did you hear that word?"

"Around. What does it mean? Is it awful?"

Snape nodded, his dark eyes on hers. "More awful than you can possibly imagine. It's one of the Unforgivables."

"What are those?" Lily asked, looking at her friend in worry. Snape looked terrified, a greedy look in his eyes upon hearing it.

"They're terrible curses," he told her, setting his bag down on the desk and pushing his greasy hair out of his eyes. "There are three of them and using any one of them on a living person automatically gets you sent to Azkaban Prison for the rest of your life."

Lily's hand flew her to mouth as she gasped. "What… what does it do?"

Snape looked into her wide horrified eyes. Her voice had barely been a whisper and he wondered again where she had heard the word. "It's called the Cruciatus Curse and it's the torture curse. My mum told me that its pain unlike anything you can imagine. It bends your body in ways it shouldn't, from the inside too, so it's like your organs are straining to push through your skin. It's supposed to be awful! You can die from it if you are under for too long or worse, you can be driven insane. The key to it though, you have to really want to cause that person incredible pain for it to even work at all. It's that horrible."

Both of Lily's hands were covering her mouth now as tears rolled down her cheeks. She wiped at them quickly and grabbed her book bag. "Who would ever use such a terrible curse?"

Snape followed her back out into the hall and shrugged. "I've heard it's used to get information out of people and my mum said that its rumoured that some of the older pureblood families use it as severe punishment, but I think that's utter rubbish."

Lily nodded, trying not to let the tears fall as they got to the end of the corridor that signalled her saying goodnight. "Thanks for telling me, Sev. I was just curious."

"Are you all right, Lily? I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, no, you didn't. It's just so horrible like you said." She smiled at him. "Goodnight, Sev."

"Goodnight," he told her, turning and heading towards the Slytherin house.

Sirius stared at the memory, his eyes wide as he realized what he had just viewed. Lily had asked Snape to explain it to her; that's why she had… he closed his eyes. That moment, that one moment when he had seen her in the hall after speaking with McGonagall… when he had decided to ignore his mother's demands and to make friends with whomever he felt like. He had seen Lily and remembered how she had always told him that she was a good listener because he had just poured out what had happened… he had never meant to accidentally mention that curse, but he had.

And the moment the word 'crucio' had slipped from his lips, he had made a new friend in Lily Evans and a brother in James Potter.

That was a memory that Harry deserved to see, Sirius thought, placing his wand to his head and carefully extracting it. He watched it swirl around the basin a moment and then he stepped into his old dormitory in Gryffindor Tower and he relived it.

Sirius was standing by his bed in his slacks, searching his trunk for his pyjamas, his back to the door as he yelled out 'come in' to whoever was banging on the door.

Lily gasped as the light reflected the white scars there and he turned around.

"Lily, what are you doing up here?" he asked in surprise, tugging his pyjama top over his head.

She rushed towards him, tears in her eyes, and hugged him tightly.

Sirius awkwardly put his arms around her and held her tightly. "We're back to hugging, I'm okay with this," he told her.

James came out of the bath and looked at Lily and Sirius in surprise. "Hi, Evans, what'cha doing here?"

Sirius shrugged, using his thumb to wipe the tears from her eyes. "Evans really, what's going on? Are you okay? Why are you blubbering?"

She nodded, her eyes on his. "I'm not blubbering! I just… I just wanted to say that you are the bravest person that I know."

Sirius' brow furrowed in confusion. "Did you hit your head or something? I haven't done anything to earn that compliment!"

James slapped his friend's shoulder. "Take any compliment you can get, Black."

Lily let go of Sirius, her eyes on James. "Potter, can I have a moment alone with Sirius?"

James nodded, watching the two of them for a moment. "Yeah, of course. I was going to shower anyway." He grabbed his toiletries and headed back into the bath and Lily turned back to Sirius.

"What you told me today, about your mother and what she desires of you to be. You are NOTHING like her, Sirius Black."

He smiled at her, taking a seat on his bed and running his hands through his hair. "Uh, all right."

"I would never betray your confidence, Sirius, in what you told me today. I don't know if James knows or anyone else?" When he shook his head in response, she nodded. "I know what the word 'crucio' means." Tears filled her eyes again. "Your mum — she… she doesn't actually use that on you, does she?"

Sirius hesitated. She was crying again. "Lily, stop crying, are you all right?"

"Oh, Sirius," she said, hugging him tightly. "The torture curse. Please tell me that I'm wrong. It's not a torture curse, is it?"

Sirius only nodded. "It is."

"And she uses it on you?"

"Lily, its discipline for when I've misbehaved. All families do it. You just don't understand because you come from Muggles."

Lily shook her head, taking his hand in hers and holding it close to her heart. "No, I don't understand it and I refuse to believe that! I bet if you told James, Remus, and Peter that, they wouldn't understand it either."

"James is from a pureblood family, trust me, Evans, his parents have used it on him when he misbehaves. I bet loads of times. It's called discipline."

"Are the scars on your back discipline, too?"

Sirius shrugged then, tugging his hand free from her. "My father has a heavy hand with the belt, so what. When you misbehave you are disciplined. It's normal."

"You ask James right now if that's normal!" she demanded, her voice quaking in anger.

"He's in the shower."

"Right now, Sirius, or I'm not leaving," she insisted her green eyes blazing as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I may be from a Muggle household, but I'm telling you that you are wrong!"

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, but you're the one who's going to look foolish." He headed into the bathroom and yelled for James.

James came out a few minutes later in his pyjama pants, using a towel to dry his hair. "What's the matter? Can't a bloke finish his shower in peace?" He grabbed a shirt and pulled it on as he scrubbed his hair dry.

Lily put her hands on her hips and glared at Sirius. "Ask Potter — now."

Sirius rolled his eyes and smirked at James. "She's convinced that I'm lying to her, but I told her that she just doesn't understand coming from a Muggle household."

"Understand what?" James asked, plopping himself onto his bed.

"Discipline for when you're bad."

James grinned at that and scratched his chin. "According to my mum, I'm always bad. Let's see, uh… this summer I was grounded from flying and banned from going to Zonko's before Dad took my Nimbus 1000 away for two whole weeks — and that was pure torture! At least when I was only grounded from flying I could still clean the broomstick and polish it and whatnot, you know?"

Lily smirked, crossing her arms in front of her. "I told you that it wasn't normal, Sirius Black!"

Sirius looked at James in confusion. "That's how your parents punish you? Come on, mate; you don't have to sugarcoat it! What if you do something they completely disapprove of?"

James shrugged, looking thoughtful for a moment. "Well, a few years ago I switched all of the sugar to salt and vice versa and my granddad came over and put salt in his tea," he said with a laugh. "Oh, Merlin, he was so furious! He picked me up by the scruff of my shirt and threw me into my bedroom and locked me in there for two hours; threatened to make me eat treacle tart, my favourite pleasurable treat, made with salt instead of sugar. My Gran told him that he was overreacting and let me out after two hours."

Sirius looked pale, falling slowly to sit on his bed. "But, but… that's the worse punishment you've ever gotten?"

"Mostly, yeah," James said, thinking it over. "When I was six, Dad and I were in Glasgow and I wandered off. When he found me he was so angry he was purple, he grabbed me and shook me so hard that my neck hurt and he spanked me, but then he you know, smothered me in that whole — he was so worried that I was going to be kidnapped and killed and the whole I'm so happy you're all right version of parent panic. Why? What is Evans so upset and blubbery about?"

Sirius looked at his hands, surprised to find them shaking. "You're parents have never… forced you to confess?"

"Forced me to confess — what? I'm an only child, mate, there's only so many things I can blame on the dog," James said with a laugh.

Lily touched Sirius' arm. "You need to tell him." She kissed his cheek. "I'll see you in the morning."

He nodded and watched her go as James came over to sit on his friend's bed. "Mate, really, what was Evans on about? Is everything all right?"

Sirius hesitated, still staring at his hands, surprised to see them shaking. "You… that first night, you asked me about my back?" At James nod, he closed his eyes. "I put my mum's favourite pearl necklace on one of the mounted house elf heads in the hall and Dad belted me for it. He made this long leather belt appear from his wand and he hit me so hard that… chunks of my skin flew off. I vomited. It wasn't the only time."

James put his arm around his friend's shoulders, but he didn't say anything.

"Today, I was telling Lily that my mum made me promise to stop being friends with you blokes because you aren't worthy of the Black family name and how my cousin Narcissa helped me realize that I chose to be in Gryffindor so I can choose my own friends and my mum can't stop me," he said, sneaking a look at James who was watching him, his hazel eyes full of sadness. "My dad can get bad when he's angry, but my mum is the real… when she came to the school to demand that Dumbledore remove me from Gryffindor House, she was even angrier when I fought off the Imperius. I've been able to throw it off for almost a year now and it infuriates her that she can't control me so she…" he closed his eyes as he trailed off. "She uses the Cruciatus."

James gasped, but he didn't speak.

"I mentioned it in passing by accident to Lily and she found out what it was and well, that's how this… Mum told me everyone used it on their kids. That… that it was the marking of a true Black if I didn't scream," Sirius said softly. "Your parents never…?"

"No," James said softly, gently rubbing his friend's shoulder. "No, mate, they would never. I'm so sorry."

He shrugged. "Nothing to be sorry about, mate. Like I said, I thought it was normal."

James squeezed Sirius' shoulder lightly. He didn't speak for a few minutes and when he did his voice was soft, barely above a whisper. "I'm glad Evans was there to listen, but you can always talk to me. Always." He gave him a bright smile and grabbed his wand, cutting himself across his palm. "With this, I declare us blood brothers. Always to be there for each other no matter what." He held his hand out and Sirius stared at him.

Then Sirius used his own wand to cut his hand and they slapped palms. "Always."

Sirius smiled at James as his blood mixed with his and for the first time in eleven years he felt like he was home.

Brothers… Sirius had always felt like James was his brother.

James had made him a blood brother that day in early October in their first year of school and from that moment on, he had never held anything back from him. James knew what kind of household he had come from, but Sirius had done his best to shield James from knowing about his summers of hardship. After that last summer before Regulus had come to Hogwarts, Sirius had rarely gone home again; spending as much time as possible away from his family.

Brothers, he thought with a smile.

He frowned over the memory of Snape and Lily in the library that Snape had given him. It seemed like a strange memory for Snape to have shared, but the questions Lily had been asking him in October of their first year were questions she had continued to ask him later on and maybe that was why he had found it important to share.

He picked up the last two memories from Snape as dawn approached the horizon and he twirled his wand into the substance and slid into the memories…