Author's Note:

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the lovely memories bestowed from Snape those belong to JKR from chapter twenty-eight of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and chapter thirty-three of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

I wanted to use all of the memories that Snape gave to Harry in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows without using the memories that change your perspective of him. As you should remember at this time, most of the world still believes Voldemort to be dead. Snape agreed to give memories of the girl he loved, but he's not about to let Sirius see him in his weaker moments; or moments of weakness in how he attempted to save Lily by turning spy for Dumbledore or his reaction upon learning that she had still died — that's not in his nature to share that information. However, I do think that he would give a certain memory from fifth year, only because it does show James Potter in a negative light, as a bully, and Snape would be proud to show that as much as it humiliates him to do so. As to why he even gave Sirius these memories, well, that will be explained later on.

Reviews and Comments: To Guest: Thank you! I enjoyed showing the bonding between Sirius and Lily as much as James and Sirius for exactly that reason! It shows their character as well as how it affects Sirius' character now. To gabbywatts017: I'm glad you're enjoying the memories so much! Thank you! To xsitrnx: I am still trying to work on a regular updating schedule. Right now, I am just writing like a fiend and uploading when I can. To E-Dett: You think this version of Narcissa will be good by what I've shown so far? I guess we'll have to see. Yes, I did make her very evil in my Beginning Series, this is true. She will not be the same here. To Claire Fraser: Thank you! I think Lily definitely had a kind soul and wanted to help. Thank you for saying I write like you know them, what a lovely compliment!

Thank you very much for reading and please, please review!

Your reviews give me life! They give me inspiration! And they make me want to keep writing for more than just myself! Thank you!

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE:

The One Where Harry Has A Sleepover

While Sirius was busy looking at memories and re-living the past, Harry was having the best time at The Burrow. He really loved coming to stay with the Weasleys. He was comfortable with them and no one had ever mentioned to him about that one time that he had been too scared to stay with them.

No one made him feel any less for it.

He found Percy a bit intimidating sometimes, but he was a lot of fun when he wanted to be. During the snowball fight in the afternoon, he had claimed that they were all babies until Ginny's snowball smacked him right in the face. Percy had simply stared at her for a long quiet moment and then he had grabbed her, flipped her over his shoulder, and tossed her right into a huge snow bank before he covered her cheeks in fresh snow. She giggled and begged him to stop as he tickled her mercilessly.

After that, Percy had stopped calling them babies and had kicked their butts in the snowball fight.

Fred and George were a lot of fun, but Harry thought that they were also a little scary sometimes, only in that they were very determined to have fun, but they were always making everyone laugh. George was quite protective over Ginny. When Percy had been attacking her in the snow pile, George had jumped onto his brother's back and freed Ginny before they ganged up on their older brother together. Fred loved to tease Ron. He kept showing him some cool new prank that would explode or blow up or shower Ron in some form of goo or sparkles or contraption that would leave Ron spluttering and Fred would burst into maniacal laughter. But then he would quickly help clean his brother up and show him how it worked. Harry figured it must be a sibling thing because he didn't quite get it and Ron didn't seem to mind.

Harry couldn't quite explain what it was about Ginny, but being near her seemed to calm him in ways that he didn't realize he needed to be calmed in. Whenever someone unexpected showed up at the Burrow (like this afternoon when Mr Weasley's partner Mr Perkins came out of the Floo, startling Harry who had been sitting close to the fireplace), Ginny had simply gripped his hand in hers and tugged him closer to where she and George were as they watched Percy and Ron play Wizard's Chess. Or when Mrs Weasley started to yell at Fred and George, her anger always made Harry feel a pang of guilt as if he was the one who was being punished, Ginny had simply tickled his ribs until he laughed. She was very insightful to his moods and he was grateful for it, even if he didn't quite understand it.

That night as Mrs Weasley said goodnight and he was left alone with Ron's very bright orange half of the bedroom, Harry was in the non bright orange half that belonged to Charlie (when he wasn't at Hogwarts that is), and he realized that it was the first time that he had been without Sirius or Remus since he had left the Dursleys. Even that one time when Andromeda and Ted had stayed at the house, Harry had still been in his own bed with Marauder wrapped up next to him.

But Marauder wasn't here now.

And it was dark.

Ron was grinning widely at him from across the room. "I'm not even tired, are you?"

Harry shook his head as he grinned back, glad that he wasn't alone in the darkness. "No."

"Good," Ron said happily, climbing out of his bed and moving to sit on Charlie's bed where Harry was sleeping. He flicked his hand at the small lamp between the two beds and a twinkle of stars shot out and illuminated the ceiling. "Let's play a game."

"What kind of game?" Harry asked as he sat up as well, eyes wide up at the ceiling.

Ron shrugged. "I dunno; Percy always makes me play the minister's cat." He said making a face. "Fred likes two truths and a lie."

Harry simply stared at him. "I've never played either. What's the minister's cat?"

Ron crossed his legs, resting a freckled chin on his hand. "Oh, you know, you have to go through the alphabet and come up with a new word each time to describe the cat. Percy says it helps one keep perspective and intelligence in times of boredom," he quoted, rolling his eyes. "But it can be fun sometimes. Like I would start by saying the minister's cat is an angry cat than you would have to go to the letter b so you could say the minister's cat is a boring cat and then it would go back to me with the letter c. The minister's cat is a cranky cat. Get it?"

Harry nodded, grinning now. "That seems kind of fun."

Ron shrugged, smirking. "It can be. Fred likes to add phrases and annoy Percy. Like you know, the minister's cat is a daring daunting doozy of a cat. Percy gets all flustered. He hates to lose, does Percy."

Harry chuckled. He remembered how annoyed Percy had gotten when Ron had defeated him at chess earlier in the day. "I do. He was very upset when you won."

"Bill's been teaching me to play most of the summer. I think that I've gotten quite good. Do you play?"

Harry shook his head. "No. Ted taught me a little, but I'm not good. So, are we going to play the minister's cat game?"

"Nah, let's play two truths and a lie. I will say three statements about me or my family and one of them will be a lie and you have to guess which one. Deal?" At Harry's nod, Ron grinned. "My favourite Quidditch team is the Chudley Canons. Fred is older than George. Percy's rat ran away. Which one is the lie?"

"George is older than Fred?" Harry asked, not really sure.

"Correct! George is older! Only by six minutes, but apparently he likes to rub it in when Fred gets annoying. Percy's rat did run away though. He just seems to have vanished from the house. You never met Scabbers, did you?"

"No."

Ron shrugged. "Ah, well, he wasn't anything special anyway, but I think Percy was hoping to take him to Hogwarts in September."

"Going to Hogwarts sounds fun," Harry said, thinking of what Sirius and Remus had told him about the school.

"Bill says its great! He's a prefect this year, you know, fifth year and all. Mum and Dad are so proud and Charlie players Seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Anyway, your turn. Two truths and a lie."

Harry was quiet for a minute as he thought about what to say. "My favourite colour is blue. Ginny was my first friend. I used to live with Muggles."

Ron grinned. "Living with Muggles."

Harry shook his head. "No, that's true."

"Wow, really?" Ron asked in surprise. "What were they like? Muggles are so weird. Dad's fascinated by how they live without magic. Don't let him hear you say that or he'll want you to show him to work this new toaster he got. Have no clue what it does, but Dad says it makes bread hot."

Harry laughed and soon they were both giggling and talking late into the night until they couldn't keep their eyes open any longer.

But when he finally did drift off to sleep, Harry didn't sleep peacefully. His dreams were full of Uncle Vernon's voice, yelling at him and calling him a freak. Uncle Vernon's large hand had gripped his neck so tightly that he couldn't breathe…

When he finally pulled himself from the dream he was gasping for breath, fearful that he was still actually choking. He wiped hastily at the tears in his eyes. Ron was snoring lightly from the bed next to him and he felt a little better when he heard the sound.

He wasn't trapped in the dark alone.

He wished Uncle Sirius was here, he thought as he put his hand on his throat, the ghostly feel of Uncle Vernon's hand still lingering. He hit the light on the table and watched the stars illuminate the ceiling, sitting up and pulling his legs up to his chest. His heart was pounding rather quickly and he knew that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. He rocked back and forth on the bed for a moment, his eyes on Ron.

Would he be upset if he woke him up? Don't be stupid, he told himself angrily. Ron will think you're a baby if you tell him you woke him up just because you had a bad dream.

Just then the door to Ron's bedroom opened forcefully and Ginny came rushing inside, running and jumping onto her brother's bed and startling Ron awake.

"Ah, ouch, Ginny! What are you doing here?" Ron insisted, wincing as she elbowed him in the ribs in her attempt to get under the covers.

"I'm going to sleep here with you," she insisted snuggling up to her brother who looked extremely annoyed.

"No! Ginny, go to your own room! Harry's in here with me."

Ginny ignored him and smiled sweetly at Harry. "Sorry, Harry, go back to sleep." She kept her arms wrapped around her brother who seemed to have given up in his attempts to disentangle himself from her. "I had a scary dream about snakes. I don't want to stay alone."

"Go bug Fred and George."

Ginny ignored him, her eyes drifting closed. "No. I want you to make the scary dreams go away."

Ron blushed, but he rolled his eyes at Harry. "She's mental. You don't mind if she stays in here with us, do you? When she gets like this, it's almost impossible to get rid of her!"

Harry shook his head, a small smile on his face as he realized that Ginny was asleep already. "No, it's fine. Bad dreams are the worst."

Ron put an arm around his sister. "Ginny hates snakes. Ever since this one time where Fred put one in her knicker drawer. She screamed like a banshee. I told her I'd protect her from the snakes if she gets rid of the spiders for me." He shuddered visibly, "I don't like spiders at all."

Harry smiled sympathetically. "Seems like a good trade off. I don't mind snakes or spiders."

Ron grinned. "Fred turned my teddy bear into a spider once. It… there were so many legs…" He shuddered in horror, wincing when Ginny's long red hair smacked him in the face as she turned to roll over. "Anyway, night Harry."

"Night," Harry said, watching as Ron settled himself onto the bed, Ginny sleeping peacefully next to him, her arms wrapped around the stuffed animal of the wolf-dog that Harry had given her for her birthday.

He settled himself back into his own bed, feeling a little better about his own bad dream. And soon he was asleep again and this time, there were no nightmares.

~ ASC ~

As dawn approached the horizon, Sirius picked up the last three memories from Snape. He twirled his wand into the substance and slid into the memories once more…

Lily and Snape were walking across the castle courtyard, evidently arguing. Sirius hurried to catch up with them, to listen in, gaging by their appearance it was fifth year by now, probably close to exams Sirius guessed.

"… thought we were supposed to be friends?" Snape was saying, "Best friends?"

"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people that you're hanging round with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Mcdonald the other day?"

Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face.

"That was nothing," Snape said. "It was a laugh, that's all —"

"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny —"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" Snape demanded. His colour rose again as he said it, unable, it seemed, to hold in his resentment.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" Lily asked.

"They sneak out at night! There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

"He's ill," Lily said. "They say he's ill —"

"Every month at the full moon?" Snape said, dryly.

"I know your theory," Lily said, and she sounded cold. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."

The intensity of his gaze made her blush.

"They don't use Dark Magic, though," she said as she dropped her voice. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there —"

Snape's whole face contorted and he spluttered, "Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his own neck and his friends' too! You're not going to — I won't let you —"

"Let me? Let me?" Lily's bright green eyes were slits.

Snape backtracked at once. "I didn't mean — I just don't want to see you made a fool of… He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. "And he's not… everyone thinks… big Quidditch hero —" Snape's bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily's eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead.

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across Snape. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humour is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."

And the scene dissolved…

Sirius found himself in the Great Hall during the OWL examinations. He watched as James yawned hugely and rumpled up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. Then, with a glance towards Professor Flitwick, he turned in his seat and grinned at Sirius who was sitting four seats behind him. He gave James a thumbs-up.

Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. His dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance James could never have achieved, and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully. And two seats along from this girl was Remus. He looked rather pale and peaky and was absorbed in the exam: As he reread his answers, he scratched his chin with the end of his quill, frowning slightly.

Peter was sitting near them and he looked anxious; he was chewing his fingernails, staring down at his paper, scuffing the ground with his toes. Every now and then he glanced hopefully at his neighbour's paper. James was now doodling on a bit of scrap parchment. He had drawn a Snitch and was now tracing the letters 'L.E'.

"Quills down, please!" Professor Flitwick squeaked. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!"

Over a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laughed. A couple of students at the front desks got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows and lifted him back on to his feet.

"Thank you... thank you," Professor Flitwick panted. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

James hastily crossed out the 'L.E.' that he had been embellishing, jumped to his feet, stuffed his quill back into his bag, which he slung over his back, and stood waiting for Sirius to join him.

Snape was moving between the tables towards the doors to the Entrance Hall, still absorbed in his own exam paper. Round-shouldered yet angular, he walked in a twitchy manner that recalled a spider, and his oily hair was jumping about his face.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius asked as they emerged into the Entrance Hall.

"Loved it," Remus said briskly. "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" James asked in tones of mock concern.

"Think I did," Remus said seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin."

Peter was the only one who didn't laugh. "I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else —"

"How thick are you, Pete?" James asked impatiently. "You run round with a werewolf once a month —"

"Keep your voice down," Remus implored.

Snape remained close by, still buried in his exam questions as the Marauders and Snape all strode off down the lawn towards the lake, Snape still looking over the exam notes and apparently with no fixed idea of where he was going.

"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Sirius said. "I'll be surprised if I don't get 'Outstanding' on it at least."

"Me too," James agreed. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Nicked it," he said casually.

He started playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again; his reflexes were excellent. Peter watched him in awe.

They stopped in the shade of the very same beech tree on the edge of the lake and threw themselves down on the grass. Snape had settled himself on the grass in the dense shadow of a clump of bushes. He was as deeply immersed in his OWL notes as ever. The sunlight was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which the group of laughing girls who had just left the Great Hall were sitting, with their shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water.

Remus had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored. James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping, but always grabbing it at the last second. Peter was watching him with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Peter gasped and applauded.

"Put that away, will you," Sirius said, as James made a fine catch and Peter let out a cheer. "Before Peter wets himself with excitement."

Peter turned slightly pink, but James grinned.

"If it bothers you," he said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket.

"I'm bored," Sirius whined. "Wish it was the full moon."

"You might," Remus said darkly from behind his book. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here," he said as he held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," James said quietly. "Look who it is…"

Sirius's head turned. He became very still, like a dog that had scented a rabbit. "Excellent," he said softly. "Snivellus."

Snape was on his feet again, and was stowing his notes in his bag. As he left the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up. Remus and Peter remained sitting: Remus was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows; Peter was looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face.

"All right, Snivellus?" James called out loudly.

Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: Dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, "Expelliarmus!"

Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "Impedimenta!" he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had gotten to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Peter was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Remus to get a clearer view.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" James asked mockingly.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," Sirius declared viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it; they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laughed. Peter sniggered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You — wait," he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, "You — wait!"

"Wait for what?" Sirius asked coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

"Wash out your mouth," James said coldly. "Scourgify!"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him…

"Leave him ALONE!" Lily shouted as she marched over.

James and Sirius looked round.

James' free hand immediately jumped to his hair. "All right, Evans?" he said, his tone suddenly pleasant, deeper, and more mature.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated; glaring at him in dislike. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," James said, appearing to deliberate the point, "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…"

Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Peter included, but Remus, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and nor did Lily.

"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toe-rag, Potter. Leave him alone." she demanded, glancing over at Snape in pity.

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," James said quickly. "Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Behind him, the Impedimenta Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soap suds as he crawled.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," Lily screamed.

There were murmurs of laughter.

Someone yelled out, "Burn, Potter!"

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said briskly, and turned back to Snape. "Oi!"

But it was too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James' face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled around: A second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered; Sirius, James, and Peter roared with laughter.

Lily's furious expression twitched slightly. She disapproved, yes, but that curse Severus had just used… drawing blood was never part of the Marauder pranking. She pursed her lips, anger bubbling up again.

"Let him down!"

"Certainly," James said and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Snape keeled over again, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now.

James and Sirius eyed it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," James said earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and murmured the counter-curse. "There you go," he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus —"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked. "Fine," she said coolly. She hardened her expression, "I won't bother you in the future then and I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

Laughter followed her remark, but James' hazel eyes were full of anger now as he glared menacingly at Snape.

"Apologize to Evans!" he roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is!"

"What?" James yelped. "I'd NEVER call you a — you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!"

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" James said, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," Sirius told him.

"Right," James said, who looked furious now. "Right…"

The scene vanished and Sirius felt a pang of guilt, wondering why Snape had thought to share this particular memory. He had known that he had been a bit of a bully sometimes in school as had James, but seeing the memory flash across as Snape had lived it… he had been more than an arse. He had been an immature git and looking back he was glad that Lily had put them all in their place.

Snape had called her a Mudblood, he remembered, and he was pretty sure that was the moment their friendship had ended. He wondered what the last memory was. He swirled his wand once more into the Pensieve to view it.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath"

It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower.

"I only came out because Mary told me that you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just —"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends — you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You Know Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No — listen, I didn't mean —"

" — to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth 'Mudblood,' Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole.

Sirius stared at the memory for a moment and he actually felt sorry for Snape. It was only a fleeting feeling as he knew that the bloke had made his own decisions and that Lily had given him more chances than he had ever even deserved, but he still felt a little bad for him. He had pushed away his best friend all because of blood status and it sickened him. The Black Family motto was something that he had been running from his entire life and to sit there and watch Snape argue with himself over the derogatory term and his best friend…

He remembered James' words: We all bleed red. He had told those exact words to Regulus. But sometimes prejudice could tear people apart without them even realizing that it was the underlying reason for their distance.

Sirius watched the sun rise through the kitchen window, lost in thought. Only when he had noticed that his tea had gone cold, did he put the memories and the Pensieve away. He had asked for memories and now his own brain was too muddled in them. He locked the memories and the Pensieve in the vault in his bedroom closet and then he turned on the wireless record player, tugging out The Game album by Queen and blasting it through the house as he made himself breakfast.

His trip down memory lane had brought back some of the memories that he would rather have kept hidden and now he needed a distraction. After he ate, Sirius decided that cleaning would do the trick and he scrubbed the whole kitchen from top to bottom before deciding to check on Kreacher at Grimmauld Place.

Sirius had been faithful to his word. Every week, he would stop by Grimmauld Place and see how Kreacher's progress was going and every week, he had been surprised. The house was barely recognizable now after over four months. All of the dark artefacts had been removed and Sirius had given them to the Auror Department to confiscate and examine. He himself had removed two boggarts and sprayed for doxies in his disgust to clean it. He simply got rid of all of the curtains in the house and most of the furniture.

It looked empty now and neglected, but it no longer looked as scary, nor was it dark and dangerous.

The only thing left was the portrait of Walburga Black, still screaming her disgrace at him whenever he stepped foot near the front door.

"The place looks great, Kreacher," Sirius told him honestly as he let the house elf make him a cup of tea eagerly.

"Thank you, Master Sirius, Kreacher is working very hard, sir!"

He managed a small smile for the squeaky voice. "Good." He drank his tea quietly for a moment before he spoke. "There's one more thing that I'd like for you to do for me."

"Of course, Sir!"

"I want the portrait of my mother removed."

Kreacher's eyes widened in horror as he tugged on his ears. "Sir, I is not knowing if I can remove it, Master Sirius!"

"I think you can, Kreacher," Sirius said sternly. "House elves have pretty strong magic, when they want, and I think that you have the power to remove that permanent sticking charm if you try hard enough."

Kreacher simply nodded. "Yes, Sir."

Sirius tapped his fingers on the table as he looked around the kitchen. "Keep the house up, in case I ever need it for anything, but for now, you've done a good job and nothing else needs to be done in terms of hardcore cleaning."

Kreacher nodded, an ugly smile on his ugly face. "Thank you, Master Sirius!"

"When you're finished here, maybe we can inspect the rest of the Black properties together and take care of them, if you wouldn't mind the extra work that is?"

"Oh, no, Sir! Kreacher loves to work, Sir! Anything Master Sirius wants!"

Sirius smiled kindly at him. "All right, well, we'll talk about it again next time. Try to take that portrait down. You're doing a wonderful job."

The elf beamed at him.

Sirius left the house elf to his own devices when he finished his tea and made his way back home to Black Cottage. It was still barely even eleven. He wasn't supposed to pick up Harry until tea time. He plopped himself down onto the chesterfield, tugging the blanket up with him as he stretched out, yawning. He decided a nap sounded pretty great, but the moment he drifted off to sleep, his nightmare world grabbed hold of him once more.

He was in his cell.

Alone.

Dark.

Dank.

He could feel the horror and the darkness moving around him, gripping him and trying to drag him under into their world and he fought desperately against it. He was innocent. He hadn't murdered those Muggles.

It was Peter.

It was Wormtail.

He could hear screaming coming from further down; a mad cackle and more screams of madness and he covered his own ears with his hands in a desperate attempt to block out the sounds. The feel of the soul-sucking guards moving around the prison, in the halls by the cells, made his stomach clench nervously as he fought the urge to vomit as phantom pains of being tortured erupted in his limbs, in his mind, and he lost himself in the terrible memories.

He pulled himself from the dream, his heart pounding and he smiled in relief to feel Marauder's head on his chest, big paws on his ribs as if he had been attempting to wake him from the nightmare. He sat up, urging the dog to jump up onto the chesterfield with him and hugging the animal close.

"You really are an amazing dog, Marauder. Are you keeping guard over me?"

Marauder barked once in greeting and licked his face.

Sirius smiled and hugged the animal again. "Sometimes I'm not even brave enough to fight back my own nightmares, but when Harry is here and I'm dealing with his nightmares and just him… I forget my own troubles. It's a nice feeling."

The dog only stared at him.

Sirius scratched him behind the ears and rubbed his neck and belly. "You're a good dog."

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, dog in his arms as he stroked and rubbed the happy dog, but the sound of the clock chiming three had him standing up.

He pushed all thoughts of his nightmares from his mind. He had other things to concern himself with and wallowing in his own nightmares wasn't one of them.