Author's Note:

Remus is very stubborn, but we already knew that!

Review and Comments: To Claire Fraser: Thank you! I think you're right. Sirius will definitely embarrass Harry with his knowledgeable sex talk LOL! I hate that Remus thinks he's a monster, too, but he will learn to love himself over time. To alix33: I think Sirius isn't going to be as ready for the sex talk as he thinks either lol. Thank you!

Thank you very much for reading and please, please review!

Your reviews give me life! They give me inspiration! And they make me want to keep writing for more than just myself! Thank you!

CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT:

The One With the Christmas Kiss

The next few weeks passed slowly for Remus. Tonks had decided to spend most of her summer hanging out with Sirius and Harry. Every day she wandered around the house in short shorts and tank tops with either a bikini top underneath or no bra at all; her long legs exposed to the world. She played with Harry, helped Sirius with the garden, and spoke of her strong desire to become an Auror.

They went to the beach for the day, and Tonks was there in a tiny blue bikini that Sirius claimed was indecent and made her wear a tee shirt much to Remus' relief who had felt the intense desire to pummel anyone who merely looked at her. She laughed and she joked and she flirted and when Jonathan Pepper showed up at the beach, she jumped into his arms, wrapping her long legs around his waist and Remus broke the cup in his hands.

Harry's tenth birthday came and went; Sirius took him and his friends to a local Quidditch match, the Sidmouth Spirits, and then out for dinner and ice cream. August swept in and with it came Ginny's birthday. Harry gave her a painting from Rome of the sun rising over the city and she loved it. Four days after Ginny's birthday, Sirius, Harry, and Remus went to the Aerosmith concert in Dublin.

The concert was loud and crowded and wonderful. Remus and Sirius sang along to every song, taking turns to sit Harry up on their shoulders as they danced and moved and sang and cheered. They bought concert tee shirts and wore them home. Harry thought it was the best thing in the world and Sirius told him that they would try to go to more concerts in the future.

When Harry woke up the next morning, it was a little earlier than he had expected after such a late night out, but his stomach grumbling made the choice about getting out of bed for him. He got dressed and hurried down the stairs deciding to find himself some breakfast while Sirius slept. He decided on waffles since Remus had showed him how to use the new waffle maker they had. He had just taken the first waffles from the maker when Sirius stepped into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Uncle Sirius," he said, drowning the waffles in syrup as he took a huge bite.

Sirius grinned, stealing his godson's fork and helping himself to a bite. "Mmm, good choice, Prongslet," he said, laughing when Harry stubbornly took the fork back. He gestured to the waffle maker. "Are those for me?"

Harry nodded, swallowing. "Uh-huh."

Sirius grinned, widely. "Excellent."

Harry shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "Since Uncle Moony isn't coming over for school today, can I have some friends over?"

"Of course," Sirius said with a smile. "Knowing your Uncle Moony, he's going to stay home and sleep the day away after that concert last night so, it's probably just going to be me and you today anyway. Might as well invite some people over."

Harry grinned. "Brilliant!"

~ ASC ~

As August came to an end, Remus found himself almost disappointed to realize that Tonks would be going back to Hogwarts for her final year.

Tonks, Ted, and Andromeda had all come over for dinner one night before she went back and Remus found himself daydreaming about her while he chopped vegetables in the kitchen, jolting when Sirius spoke to him.

"Merlin, Padfoot, you scared me!" he exclaimed, quickly resuming his task.

"Didn't mean to," Sirius said with a smirk. "You've been very jumpy lately, Rem, everything okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, everything's fine."

Sirius merely stared at him. "Everything is obviously not fine, but whatever if you don't want to tell me. I know you, you'll crack like an egg eventually."

Remus chuckled. "I'm fine, really. I've just been out of sorts a bit lately. Since I turned thirty I guess. Haven't you felt the same?"

Sirius shrugged. "Nah, age is a just a number."

He couldn't fault him with that logic. "I know. I guess I figured by the time I was thirty I'd have more nieces and nephews to spoil. You'd be married by now and James and Lily would have had at least five."

Sirius laughed. "Me? Married? Is that some kind of sick joke?" When his friend only grinned, he smirked. "And what about you? You could be married and doing the kid thing yourself you know, if you weren't such a stubborn git."

"You should talk."

Sirius ignored him. "Moony, you are the commitment guy and we both know it. The reason you aren't living somewhere with a white picket fence and a handful of kids to bounce on your knee is because you have convinced yourself that you're unworthy of happiness which is complete and utter bullshit."

"I'm not unworthy of happiness."

"Good. About time you realize that."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I just… I'm a werewolf, Sirius. What kind of life could I ever give someone? I can't have a family and be normal because I am not normal. I would never subject someone to that."

"What if it was their choice?"

"No one would ever chose that life, Padfoot," Remus insisted.

Sirius glared at him. It was always the same argument and he wished for once his friend could see him the way he saw him; as a good man deserving to be happy.

"You don't know that though, do you, Rem? In fact, you have no idea because you never give anyone a chance to find out."

"And you do?" Remus asked in annoyance. "You stand there and question me on how I don't let anyone in and you're a terminal bachelor!"

Sirius chuckled. "Well, I'll never say never, Moony. But there hasn't been anyone for me who makes me think of forever. I remember what James used to say. That Lily made him dream of the future; that he couldn't imagine a future without her in it. She was the first thing he thought of when he woke up in the morning and the last thing he thought of when he went to sleep at night. If I ever find that than sure, I'd propose and settle down, maybe even knock out a few kids, but I haven't found that. So, right now, it's me and Harry against the world and I'm all right with it."

Remus smiled. "Well, I'm fine too, Padfoot. So, stop worrying about me."

Sirius grinned. "Fine. Now, hurry up with that chopping, Andy, Ted, and Dora are going to be here soon and I promised Andromeda that I'd whip up something special."

"Then how come I'm cooking?"

Sirius merely glared at him. "Shut up and chop, Moony."

Remus grinned. That he could do.

~ ASC ~

As September swept in, Althea sent word that she and Xander were expecting their first child and were absolutely thrilled with the news. She said that the weather in Greece was agreeing with her far more than the weather in London had, but she was still anxious for news.

Sirius told her about Tonks going into her final year at Hogwarts with the strong ambition to become an Auror. It was a tough field and the Ministry only accepted the best of the best and that she would have to work her butt off this year for them to even look at her. Harry had spent a lot of time with her that summer and was feeling the melancholy of her having gone back to school, but was still enjoying himself with Neville, Ron, and Ginny as often as he could.

As October breezed into town, Neville was spending the day with them as Augusta had some personal matters to attend to in terms of medical care for Frank and Alice.

Neville was throwing the chew toy for Marauder, who would bound after it happily until one's arm fell off or until one stopped, whichever came first. Harry was flying around on his broomstick overhead as Neville watched and he dived towards them, grinning as he landed smoothly and stretched out on the grass next to his friend.

"I'm bored."

Neville nodded, finally giving up on playing catch with Marauder. "Me too."

Harry sighed and rolled over onto his stomach. "Uncle Sirius is inside, maybe we can convince him to take us out somewhere."

"Where?" Neville asked.

Harry shrugged. "Dunno. Anywhere."

Neville followed him into the house as Harry called for Sirius.

Sirius was lying on the chesterfield in the living room, newspaper covering his face as he napped. Harry hurried over and shook him awake.

"Uncle Sirius!"

Sirius carefully tugged the newspaper down with a sigh. "I wasn't sleeping."

Harry only smirked at him. "Nev and I are bored."

"Bored?" he asked, his eyebrow rising.

Harry nodded. "Can we go somewhere?"

Sirius stifled a yawn as he sat up. "Then you'd just be bored somewhere else."

Harry rolled his eyes and hopped up onto the sofa next to his father. "Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh," Sirius said back as Harry groaned, burying his face in his hands.

He knew that if he responded now he was just going to get caught up in an annoying argument with his godfather.

Sirius moved in for the kill, his fingers tickling Harry's ribs as he doubled over in laughter; his arm snaking out to tug Neville onto the sofa with him and tickling him too, until both boys begged him to stop and screamed 'snuffles.'

He dragged his fingers through his hair with a grin. "I win."

Harry simply smirked at Neville and they both tackled Sirius, tickling him mercilessly as he laughed and fought their hands off. The three of them lay like the dead in the middle of the living room floor, gasping for breath when Remus stepped out of the fireplace twenty minutes later.

"I see a great battle was fought here," he said.

Harry grinned widely. "Neville and I are champions."

"Are not," Sirius insisted, sitting up. "I am reigning champion."

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Children!" Remus said with a grin as Neville giggled at their antics. "Let's just call it a draw, shall we?"

Neville stood up and stretched. "Harry and I were bored."

"I thought you were trying to make that Venus Fly Trap bigger," Remus asked.

Neville nodded. "We did. It's huge and it snaps at everything now."

"Uncle Sirius was just napping anyway," Harry added, smirking at his godfather.

Sirius feigned shocked. "I would never just nap while you two played outside." At Remus' look of amusement, he grinned. "Okay, I may have closed my eyes for a second." He sighed and stood up. "All right, let's go see if a scary film is playing in preparation for All Hallows Eve."

Neville blanched. "But nothing too scary, right, Sirius?"

Sirius swing his arm around the child with a grin. "The scarier the better, Neville."

Neville had to disagree after sitting through a feature of Halloween. But he took the teasing lightly as Sirius attempted to scare him when they got back to the house. They ate dinner and Harry and Neville built a huge castle out of Lego that started in the living room and moved into the entrance hall with turrets and towers and moats. They had it moving up the staircase when Augusta came by to pick up her grandson.

Sirius smiled politely at her. "Hello, Mrs Longbottom."

"Sirius," she said with a smile. "Come on, Neville; time to go."

Neville said goodbye and they left by the Floo as Harry grinned up at Sirius. "Can I leave our castle here?"

Sirius hesitated as he looked at the growing kingdom. "All right, but if you and Neville don't finish it when he comes back on Saturday, it has to go away. And pick up every stray piece of Lego."

Harry nodded. "I will."

He didn't, Sirius noticed as his foot hit one particular piece after Harry was in bed and he swore viciously, tripping in his attempt to not cry from the painful Lego under his foot.

Harry was fast asleep upstairs, so he slipped out the back door, the cool October breeze greeting him as he sat in a lounge chair, a glass of whiskey in his hand.

October was getting easier for him to handle with each passing year, but every once in a while, it seemed to sweep in and grab him by the throat. He wished more than anything that James was here to see his son: To watch him be creative, to build his Lego kingdom, to fly his broomstick, and to take him to see scary movies. Sometimes his heart hurt more than he could bear whenever he thought of what he got to do with Harry that his parents would never get to experience; that Harry would never get to experience with them.

He looked up to the sky, his thoughts sad. He missed them something fierce. And Euphemia and Fleamont too; his family. Now Harry and Remus were his family and he loved Harry just as much if not more than he had his father and his parents, but he still missed them.

He watched the stars twinkle up at him and he sighed.

They deserved to be here. And with a pang he realized that next October, Harry would be at Hogwarts. He wasn't sure where the time had gone, but the thought of spending next Halloween without Harry and his friends made his heart hurt.

James and Lily would be so proud of Harry, he thought. He kept his eyes on the stars, smiling to himself and lost in his own thoughts.

~ ASC ~

Harry was running towards his cupboard, desperately trying to seek the only sanctuary that he could from his raging uncle. Vernon Dursley was chasing him and despite his bulk and Harry's speed, his little legs weren't quite fast enough as he attempted to open the cupboard door and Uncle Vernon gripped him by the back of his hair, yanking his head back.

He cried out as flashes of light crossed his eyesight from the pain in his head.

"That was my best pint glass, boy!" he yelled.

It had been an accident.

Aunt Marge's dog, Ripper, had run right into Harry when he had been standing on the step ladder, putting the dishes away. The step ladder had gone flying and Harry had fallen off, glass in hand and it had shattered on the kitchen floor when he landed, slicing open his palm.

"That boy has been nothing but trouble since the moment he got here," Aunt Marge said, her eyes on Harry in disgust. "He should be caned or at least belted more often."

"No!" Aunt Petunia exclaimed, her eyes on her sister-in-law as she stepped into the hallway to glare at her nephew. "You went too far with the belt last time, Vernon. He's in school now. You can't leave marks on him. What if someone sees? And for God's sake, let me clean up his hand, he's bleeding all over my clean house!"

Uncle Vernon seemed to consider these options for a moment and then he nodded at his sister. "Give me your cane, Marge."

"No!" Harry shouted as Uncle Vernon forced him to bend over his knee. "No!"

Uncle Vernon ignored Harry, pinning him down as he extended his hand out for his sister's cane. But instead of passing it over to him, she slammed the wood down across Harry's spine so hard that he saw stars. The cane smacked him again and again before Uncle Vernon took it from her grasp.

"Not his back, Marge! Petunia's right, we shan't leave marks."

Harry struggled under Uncle Vernon's grasp, crying when Uncle Vernon shoved his trousers down, but then the cane was smacking him across his bare bum, once, twice. "Twenty strokes, boy, count them!"

Harry cried out as Uncle Vernon forced him to count each hit: The thick smack of the wood across his buttocks hard enough make his teeth hurt, and then he was roughly thrown to the ground after twenty. Uncle Vernon kicked him in the stomach as he stood up.

"Break anything else in this house and I'll break this cane over your face, boy. Now get into the kitchen and clean up that mess."

Harry crawled to his feet, pulling up his trousers and the slap across his face sent him reeling into the wall as Aunt Marge only smirked at him.

"Oh, dear, my hand just slipped."

Harry glared at her as he limped into the kitchen to pick up the broken glass, cutting his finger on one particular shard, causing him to bleed more than his hand already was. He winced and the shadow of Uncle Vernon standing over him had him cowering.

"Are you bleeding on my floor, you ungrateful little shit?"

He reached down to pick Harry up by the scruff of his shirt and Harry's eyes flew open, his breathing heavy. He rubbed a hand over his bum, still mentally reeling from the pain of the punishment in his dream. He looked at his left palm, the small thin white scar across it barely noticeable from where the glass shard had sliced him.

Marauder rolled over at the end of his bed and he sighed in contentment. He wasn't in his cupboard. He wasn't living on Privet Drive anymore. He was home with Uncle Sirius and with Marauder in his own room.

He was safe.

The fairy lights on the ceiling left a pale glow around his bedroom and he smiled as he reached for his glasses and looked at the walls. His father's favourite music posters, his father's signed Gryffindor Quidditch poster from the Hogwarts class of '78, the signed Quidditch poster Harry had gotten from the local Sidmouth Spirits from his tenth birthday party… The picture board of photos of his parents and their friends and the photos that Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus had helped him add over the years: Harry riding on Uncle Sirius' motorbike, Harry on his own motorbike, Harry's first Christmas with them, Harry and Auntie Minnie, Harry and Marauder, Harry, Ron, and Ginny in the treehouse, Harry and Neville with the Venus Fly Trap, Harry and Uncle Remus buried in the snow, Harry and Uncle Remus on a broomstick, Harry pushing Tonks on the tire swing, Harry at the dragon reserve, and so many other photos…

As Harry watched the pictures move, a sense of calm came over him and he relaxed. This was his home. Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus had made it his home over four years ago and he never had to go back to the Dursleys ever again.

He never had to see them again.

He wondered why the dream had even come. It had been many months since he had last dreamed of his old life. In fact, he couldn't even remember the last time that he had had a bad dream about them or even thought about the Dursleys in any way. He rubbed the lightning bolt scar on his forehead absently and considered trying to go back to sleep.

But the thought of going back to sleep and possibly remembering his old life again wasn't something that he was interested in so, he climbed out of bed, leaving Marauder snoring and quietly made his way downstairs into the kitchen.

The moonlight illuminated the patio and Harry was surprised to see Sirius sitting in the lounge chair in his leather jacket, a cup of tea in his hands as he stared up at the night sky. He looked at the clock and saw that it was almost four in the morning. He wondered why his father was still awake. He poured himself a glass of water and then went into the front closet to put his own boots and coat on before he stepped out onto the patio.

Sirius' head turned quickly at the sound of the backdoor opening and his eyes widened. "Harry, what are you doing out here? It's late."

Harry took a seat on the lounge chair next to him. "I was thirsty. Why are you sitting out here in the dark?"

Sirius' arm tugged Harry's chair closer to him and he draped his arm around his godson. "I was having a bad dream. Sometimes I like to come outside and stare up at the night sky."

Harry drank his water. "Oh. Does it make you feel better?"

Sirius smiled, kissing the top of Harry's head. "It does. It reminds me that I'm not locked up anymore and that I'm free. See up there, those lines that connect and look like a dog?" At Harry's nod, he grinned. "That's the dog star, my star, it's called Sirius or Canis Major. And that one next to it, see how it looks like a man? That's Orion, he was a hunter in Greek mythology. That's his belt."

"Like your tattoo," Harry said with a smile.

Sirius nodded. "Exactly. It's a thing in the Black family to be named after stars and constellations. I have no idea why, but it seems to be something they did for generations. It's one of the only things I ever liked about my family. Sometimes, when I look up at the sky, I think about what an infinite universe it is up there and how I'm just one small person in that universe." He shook his head. "I'm tired, I'm getting philosophical." He watched Harry for a moment. "Do you want to talk about your dream, Prongslet?"

"How'd you know?" Harry asked him.

Sirius shrugged. "You always sleep through the night unless a nightmare plagues you," he said simply, kissing the top of Harry's head. "What did you dream about, Prongslet?"

Harry shook his head. He didn't want to remember it and he knew that when he had dreamed about living with the Dursleys it always made Uncle Sirius sad. "I don't remember."

His godfather only nodded, but Harry could tell that he didn't believe him. "Okay." He pulled Harry closer, cuddling him to his chest. "But if you change your mind, you know I'm always here to listen."

Harry smiled. "I know." He drank his water in silence as they stared up at the sky.

He knew he was always here to listen and that was the best part about waking up from the bad dream, Harry thought — it was only a dream.

And he was home with his family.

~ ASC ~

The months passed on and Christmas arrived again. Sirius couldn't help but grin when Harry had told him of his attempts to sneak down and to see Father Christmas this year, but he had come up empty. They built their annual gingerbread house, a little more successful this year than last until Marauder hit the table and the whole roof slid off crushing the gingerbread people. Harry had laughed and simply ate the victims as Remus assisted in adding more frosting in an attempt to make it look more presentable, but ultimately failing miserably.

They had an early tea with McGonagall and Sirius gave her the gold hoop earrings that he had purchased in Florence back in April and she smacked him, insisted that they were too much, and then gleefully put them in her ears. She kissed his cheeks and then Harry's and told Sirius that he was a sweetheart who was spoiling her. Sirius failed to agree. After everything that McGonagall had done for him, she deserved the world in his opinion.

After they had tea with her, they made their way to Andromeda and Ted's house for Christmas dinner. Sirius watched his friend stiffen when they stepped into the living room as Tonks moved forward to greet everyone. Remus had hugged her rather awkwardly, he thought, wondering what that was about.

Remus was all smiles as he doted on Harry, playing chess with Ted and grinning, but Sirius could tell that something was bothering him. He watched his cousin trip over the mat by the door and Remus jumped up to catch her and she blushed in embarrassment. Remus sat back down, but his eyes followed her into the kitchen before he turned his gaze to the chessboard with renewed determination.

Tonks was always blushing in Remus' presence and Sirius figured that she hadn't quite gotten over that little school girl crush, but he hadn't ever considered the possibility that as Tonks grew up, his best friend might start looking back. He kept his eyes on his friend, but he was careful to almost never look at his cousin, and Sirius started to wonder if maybe he was wrong.

But then during dinner, Tonks knocked over the gravy boat and drenched Remus' lap in gravy.

"Remus! I'm so sorry!" Tonks exclaimed, grabbing a napkin and dabbing at his lap.

Remus jolted when her hand brushed across his crotch and he quickly tried to hide his erection by grabbing her hands and stopping her wiping motions. "Its fine, Dora, it was an accident." He took the napkins from her and dabbed at the bulk of the gravy before using his wand to vanish the spill and clean himself up.

When he looked up, Sirius' eyes were smirking at him and he chose to ignore it.

After dinner, they all went outside to build snowmen in the freshly falling snow. It soon turned into a snowball fight and Remus laughed when a trickle of snow moved down the back of his neck and he turned to find Tonks grinning at him. She turned to run as he scooped up snow into his hands and chased her around the side of the house. He had just turned the corner when he was accosted with another face full of snow. He spluttered at the cold and snagged her arm, pinning her up against the side of the house and shoving the snow into her face.

She laughed and then her laugh died in her throat when her grey eyes met his. Remus had never looked at her like that before, she thought. His beautiful gold eyes had turned almost amber as they looked at her intensely and his cold fingers gently spread the snow across her cheeks, over her lips and he parted her scarf, spreading the snow down her neck. Her breath hitched and flushed, the snow melting from her body heat.

Tonks slowly licked her lips and she watched in fascination as the pulse in his throat seemed to speed up. He was so sexy, she thought. She'd fancied him off and on since she'd been thirteen and she wasn't ashamed to admit that he had been the subject of most of her fantasies. That sexy professor look, she thought, and she blushed as she remembered the dream she'd had over the summer of him taking her on the desk in the sun room of Sirius' house.

Remus was trying to convince himself to step away from her, but at the moment his fingers were gently pushing snow along the column of her throat, her soft creamy throat, and he wanted to replace his fingers with his lips more than anything.

"Remus," she murmured, taking a step towards him.

It woke him up and he immediately dropped his hands, offering her a small smile.

"Sorry, Nymphadora, got caught up in the game I suppose," he told her with a grin. "Let's get you covered up again."

Tonks only stared at him as he tugged her scarf closed around her neck. "You were watching me."

Remus hesitated before he spoke. "You're a lovely girl, Nymphadora. It's only natural that I would notice. Now, we really need to get back to the others."

Tonks' grey eyes held his for a moment and then she took a tentative step towards him when his breath hitched, she smiled knowingly. "You're attracted to me."

Remus shook his head, his golden eyes wide. "You are a child."

"I'm an adult."

"You're still in school."

"I'm seventeen. I'm legally a grown witch who can make her own choices."

Remus closed his eyes. The fact that everything she had just said was true did nothing to make him feel better. "Let's get back to the others before they send out a search party." He turned away from her and she grabbed his arm, surprising him by shoving him back against the wall of the house. "Nymphadora! Please move."

"Not until you give me my Christmas present," she said, her voice, husky.

She had never once imagined that Remus would actually be attracted to her and now that she knew he was, she wasn't letting him get away from her that easily.

"I did give you a gift," he told her, his voice impatient. "Now move out of the way. You are acting like a child, blocking my exit this way."

Tonks smiled at him, licking her plump pink lips and only making him harden even more. "You did give me my gift and it was lovely," she said her fingers pushing her scarf out of the way so that she could play with the simple bronze choker that said 'Tonks' that he had given her, "But that's not the gift that I'm talking about. I want a kiss, Remus."

"What?" Remus spluttered, his eyes widening. "Absolutely not! I know you used to fancy me a few years back, but I am not going to kiss you, Nymphadora. I don't know what game you're trying to play here, but that is not going to happen!"

Tonks only grinned at him, stepping closer and linking her arms around his neck. "I've dreamed of kissing you since I was thirteen, it's true, but until today, I never thought I had a chance of you actually wanting to kiss me back. I felt your eyes on me, Remus. I stood here against the wall while you looked at me with desire; while your fingers stroked over my skin. Are you going to stand here and tell me that if I kiss you right now, you won't kiss me back?"

Remus kept his eyes closed, his breathing unsteady as her tight body pressed against him. "I don't want to kiss you back. You are a child and I am a grown man who has no desire to make a foolish mistake. You are wrong."

"I think you're trying to convince yourself more than me, Remus," she said, her lips a breath away from him. "Just one kiss. It won't hurt."

Remus' eyes opened and he lost himself in the dark grey orbs before him and he cursed himself, but he moved in. His hands sat on her hips and his lips crushed into hers. She tasted as sweet as he imagined and when his teeth nipped at her bottom lip, she moaned and her mouth opened for him as his tongue met hers in deep greedy bites that made him groan. Her fingers played in his hair and she pressed herself closer to him, moaning his name as he kissed her.

She tasted like honey and smelt like wildflowers with a hint of bubblegum. Her tight body pressed against him and he did everything he could not to grind his erection into her. His lips left hers to trail down her neck and his hand slid lower to cup her firm round bum through the tight denim; it was just as soft and firm as he imagined.

Tonks pressed herself closer to him. She could feel how much he wanted her and it made her dizzy. He was the sexiest man that she had ever met. His soft brownish blonde hair, his golden eyes… even the scars on him had done nothing to detract from his handsome face. He was well toned and muscled and he was so smart. When he spoke in that professorially way of his, she wanted to kiss him senseless.

She moaned his name and he froze, his mouth sucking her neck around the scarf. He pulled back, his breathing heavy.

"I-I-I have to go."

"Remus," she whispered, smiling at him. "Kiss me again."

"That was more than just a kiss, Nymphadora — and it's not ever going to happen again."

She pouted and Remus had a sudden desire to kiss the pout from her lips, but he firmly shut that door.

"No. This is wrong. This… this can't happen. I am much too old for you. You are a child. Goodnight, Nymphadora."

He pushed her out of the way and then hurried back around to the back. He smiled at Harry as he helped his nephew in the intense snowball fight against Sirius. An hour later when he finally arrived in his own house, he was still cursing himself.

Kissing her had felt more right than anything had in his entire life.

He was a disgusting monster, he thought, and he ought to be killed for his crimes.

He buried his face in his hands, her scent still lingering on his skin and he swore.

He had made a terrible, terrible mistake.