Author's Note:

I hope you guys like Zee because I really do and I have plans for her.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the lovely section of chapter ten from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone — there are some things that just can't be changed, thank you JKR.

Reviews and Comments: To alix33: Marauder is trying to be a guard dog, but he's a big softie. Thank you. To Claire Fraser: Thank you for thinking Zee is kinda awesome and shagging in the kitchen lol. Glad you liked her sassy remark about her husband minding. Thank you!

Thank you very much for reading and please, please review!

Your reviews give me life! They give me inspiration! And they make me want to keep writing for more than just myself! Thank you!

CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE:

The One With Sheer Dumb Luck

On Halloween morning, Harry woke up feeling a little glum. He was sad to realize that he wouldn't be visiting Godric's Hollow this year. He hoped that Remus and Sirius would still go and that Sirius would be all right without him there. He knew that his godfather still grieved James and Lily Potter the hardest at Halloween.

He was hoping that the Halloween feast would be a good distraction for him as he didn't want to spend the day thinking about how he should be visiting Godric's Hollow with Sirius and Remus.

He got a bit more than a distraction.

After breakfast they went to Charms where they were learning how to levitate feathers. Hermione had been even more annoying lately; questioning them about what they were doing at all times like she was a teacher who suspected that they were up to no good. Ron was particularly annoyed with her and had been complaining non stop about what an annoying person she was. When she corrected his pronunciation in class, he crossed his arms in anger and glared at her.

They were walking across the courtyard after class and Ron was still raging.

"What makes her think that she's better than the rest of us? She's not a professor! She can't just tell us what to do or constantly tell us that we're wrong!" Ron demanded.

Seamus shrugged. "She's a bit of a brown-noser, that's for sure. I heard Malfoy tell her the other day to keep her buck-toothed bushy head out of his way and she stormed off in a huff."

"That's just it!" Ron exclaimed as if making a point. "No one likes her! She has to realize that she has no friends!"

Harry heard a sob from behind them and he winced when Hermione pushed past them, her hands covering her face. "I think she heard you, Ron."

"Good," Ron said, but he looked rather guilty at the thought.

Harry started to feel a bit guilty himself when they sat down for the Halloween feast and saw no sight of Hermione. She hadn't come to any of their afternoon classes either.

"Ron, maybe we should apologize to Hermione, I mean, she's annoying yes, but… does everyone really hate her?"

"We do," Ron said, vehemently, and then sighed at Harry's look. "Okay, I don't hate her, but she's so annoying."

"Agreed," Harry said as Neville sat down next to them. "Where did you go after class, Neville?"

"Professor Sprout is letting me water the plants in greenhouse two so, I had to take care of it before the feast, did I miss anything?"

Seamus shrugged and filled Neville in on what had happened after Charms class.

"She's been crying in the bathroom all afternoon," Lavender Brown informed Seamus, making Harry look up in surprise.

"Who?"

"Hermione Granger," Lavender said with relish. "Really wailing too; poor girl."

Harry's eyes met Ron's and he sighed.

"I didn't mean to make her cry," he said sipping his pumpkin juice.

They were halfway through their feast when the doors to the Great Hall burst open and Professor Quirrell came running in at full speed.

"TROLL!" he bellowed making the entire hall go quiet. "TROLL IN THE DUNGEONS!" He looked blankly around for a moment. "Thought you ought to know."

And then he promptly passed out.

Immediate chaos ensued as students around them screamed and began to scramble from their seats until a loud 'SILENCE' was bellowed by Dumbledore earning instant respect and quiet attention. He ordered them to return to their dormitories led by their prefects while the teachers would head to the dungeons to see about the troll.

Neville gripped Harry's arm tightly as they headed up the stairs. "How did a troll get in?"

"Trolls are really stupid," Ron told them as they followed the other Gryffindors out of the Great Hall. "It must have wandered in by mistake from the Forbidden Forest."

"But how did it get all the way down into the dungeon?" Neville asked, his eyes fearful. "I bet Hermione would know, she's pretty smart."

"Hermione!" Harry and Ron both exclaimed at the same time, making Neville stare at them in alarm as they looked at each other in horror.

"She doesn't know about the troll," Harry said to Neville and then he and Ron booked it down the corridor, leaving Neville staring after them in shock.

"It's in the dungeons, we should be able to get to the girl's bathroom to warn her and get back up to Gryffindor Tower in time," Ron said as they raced down the hall. "Just pray that Percy doesn't find us first!"

Harry swallowed, putting his arm out to stop his friend. They had just turned the corner when they heard quick footsteps behind them.

"Percy!" Ron hissed, pulling Harry behind a large stone griffin.

Peering around it, however, they saw not Percy, but Snape. He crossed the corridor and disappeared from view.

"What's he doing?" Harry whispered. "Why isn't he down in the dungeons with the rest of the teachers?"

"Search me."

Quietly as possible, they crept along the next corridor after Snape's fading footsteps.

"He's heading for the third floor," Harry said, but Ron held up his hand.

"Can you smell something?"

Harry sniffed and a foul stench reached his nostrils, a mixture of old socks and the kind of public toilet that no one seems to clean.

And then they heard it — a low grunting, and the shuffling footfalls of gigantic feet. Ron pointed — at the end of a passage to the left, something huge was moving toward them. They shrank into the shadows and watched as it emerged into a patch of moonlight.

It was a horrible sight.

Over three hundred and sixty centimetres tall, its skin was a dull, granite grey; its great lumpy body like a boulder with its small bald head perched on top like a coconut. It had short legs thick as tree trunks with flat, horny feet. The smell coming from it was incredible. It was holding a huge wooden club, which dragged along the floor because its arms were so long.

The troll stopped next to a doorway and peered inside. It waggled its long ears, making up its tiny mind, then slouched slowly into the room.

"The key's in the lock," Harry muttered. "We could lock it in."

"Good idea," Ron said nervously.

They edged toward the open door, mouths dry, praying the troll wasn't about to come out of it. With one great leap, Harry managed to grab the key, slam the door, and lock it.

"Yes!"

Flushed with their victory, they started to run back up the passage, but as they reached the corner they heard something that made their hearts stop — a high, petrified scream — and it was coming from the chamber that they'd just chained up.

"Oh, no," Ron said as pale as the Bloody Baron.

"It's the girls' bathroom!" Harry gasped.

"Hermione!" they said together.

It was the last thing that they wanted to do, but what choice did they have? Wheeling around, they sprinted back to the door and turned the key, fumbling in their panic. Harry pulled the door open and they ran inside.

Hermione Granger was shrinking against the wall opposite, looking as if she was about to faint. The troll was advancing on her, knocking the sinks off of the walls as it went.

"Confuse it!" Harry said desperately to Ron, and, seizing a tap, he threw it as hard as he could against the wall.

The troll stopped a few feet from Hermione. It lumbered around, blinking stupidly, to see what had made the noise. It's mean little eyes saw Harry. It hesitated, then made for him instead, lifting its club as it went.

"Oi, pea-brain!" Ron yelled from the other side of the chamber, and he threw a metal pipe at it.

The troll didn't even seem to notice the pipe hitting its shoulder, but it heard the yell and paused again, turning its ugly snout toward Ron instead, giving Harry time to run around it.

"Come on, run, run!" Harry yelled at Hermione, trying to pull her toward the door, but she couldn't move, she was still flat against the wall, her mouth open with terror.

The shouting and the echoes seemed to be driving the troll berserk. It roared again and started toward Ron, who was nearest and had no way to escape.

Harry then did something that was both very brave and very stupid. He took a great running jump and managed to fasten his arms around the troll's neck from behind. The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wand had still been in his hand when he'd jumped — it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

Howling with pain, the troll twisted and flailed its club, with Harry clinging on for dear life; any second, the troll was going to rip him off or catch him a terrible blow with the club.

Hermione had sunk to the floor in fright. Ron pulled out his own wand — not knowing what he was going to do he heard himself cry the first spell that came into his head: "Wingardium Leviosa!"

The club flew suddenly out of the troll's hand, rose high, high up into the air, turned slowly over — and dropped, with a sickening crack, onto its owner's head. The troll swayed on the spot and then fell flat on its face, with a thud that made the whole room tremble.

Harry got to his feet. He was shaking and out of breath. Ron was standing there with his wand still raised, staring at what he had done.

It was Hermione who spoke first. "Is it — dead?"

"I don't think so," Harry said, "I think it's just been knocked out." He bent down and pulled his wand out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy grey glue. "Ugh — troll boogers."

He wiped it on the troll's trousers.

A sudden slamming and loud footsteps made the three of them look up. They hadn't realized what a racket they had been making, but of course, someone downstairs must have heard the crashes and the troll's roars. A moment later, Professor McGonagall had come bursting into the room, closely followed by Snape, with Quirrell bringing up the rear. Quirrell took one look at the troll, let out a faint whimper, and sat quickly down on a toilet, clutching his heart.

Snape bent over the troll. Professor McGonagall was looking at Ron and Harry. Harry had never seen her look so angry. Her lips were white. Hopes of winning fifty points for Gryffindor faded quickly from Harry's mind.

"What on earth were you thinking of?" Professor McGonagall said with cold fury in her voice. Harry looked at Ron, who was still standing with his wand in the air. "You're lucky you weren't killed! Why aren't you in your dormitory?"

Snape gave Harry a swift, piercing look. Harry looked at the floor. He wished Ron would put his wand down.

Then a small voice came out of the shadows.

"Please, Professor McGonagall — they were looking for me."

"Miss Granger!"

Hermione had managed to get to her feet at last. "I went looking for the troll because I — I thought I could deal with it on my own — you know, because I've read all about them."

Ron dropped his wand. Hermione Granger, telling a downright lie to a teacher?

"If they hadn't found me, I'd be dead now. Harry stuck his wand up its nose and Ron knocked it out with its own club. They didn't have time to come and fetch anyone. It was about to finish me off when they arrived."

Harry and Ron tried to look as though this story wasn't new to them.

"Well… in that case..." Professor McGonagall said, staring at the three of them, "Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?"

Hermione hung her head. Harry was speechless. Hermione was the last person to do anything against the rules, and here she was, pretending that she had, to get them out of trouble. It was as if Snape had started handing out sweets.

"Miss Granger, five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this," Professor McGonagall said. "I'm very disappointed in you. If you're not hurt at all, you'd better get off to Gryffindor tower. Students are finishing the feast in their houses."

Hermione left.

Professor McGonagall turned to Harry and Ron.

"Well, I still say you were lucky, but not many first years could have taken on a full-grown mountain troll. You each win Gryffindor five points. Professor Dumbledore will be informed of this. You may go."

They hurried out of the bathroom and didn't speak at all until they had climbed two floors up. It was a relief to be away from the smell of the troll, quite apart from anything else.

"We should have gotten more than ten points," Ron grumbled.

"Five, you mean, once she's taken off Hermione's."

"Good of her to get us out of trouble like that," Ron admitted. "Mind you, we did save her."

"She might not have needed saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her," Harry reminded him.

They had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Pig snout," they said and entered.

The common room was packed and noisy. Everyone was eating the food that had been sent up. Hermione, however, stood alone by the door, waiting for them. There was a very embarrassed pause. Then, none of them looking at each other, they all said, "Thanks," and hurried off to get plates.

But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend.

There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a mountain troll is one of them.

~ ASC ~

Sirius yawned as the owl flew in through the kitchen window on the morning of the first of November. He recognized the writing on the side as McGonagall's and smiled as he unfolded the parchment.

Then he spit his tea across the table, spluttering and coughing.

He hurried to the fire and Flooed to Remus' house, calling his friend's name.

Remus stepped out of the kitchen with his morning cup of tea, his eyebrows raised in question. "Morning, Sirius."

"Harry fought a fucking mountain troll!"

Remus' mouth dropped open and then he closed it and it opened again in shock, but still no words came out.

Sirius waved the letter in his hand. "McGonagall — she's just written! Listen to this!"

Dear Mr Black,

I am writing to inform you that your son, Harry, disobeyed school rules last night and snuck off to stop his friend Miss Granger from fighting a mountain troll on her own — or at least that's the story that I was given. Mr Potter and Mr Weasley saved Miss Granger from the mountain troll and effectively knocked it out with its own club.

No one was injured outside of the troll.

I awarded each of them five points for their bravery and for their sheer dumb luck.

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall,

Head of Gryffindor House

Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts

Remus simply stared at him. "Why the fuck was there a mountain troll at Hogwarts to begin with?"

"He knocked it out with its own club?"

They both stared at each other and then they burst into laughter. Neither one of them could stop the laughter from bubbling up inside of them, grinning widely and laughing harder.

"You told him to get into trouble, Padfoot," Remus said as he tried to catch his breath. "I guess pulling pranks is too good for him, he's decided to fight trolls instead."

Sirius simply grinned. "Let's just a hope a troll is the least of our worries. I mean come on, Moony, how can he possibly top that? We have nothing to worry about."

Remus grinned back at him. "Agreed."

~ ASC ~

When the post came at lunch, Harry recognized Persephone right away and he sunk low in his chair.

"Ron, do you think that Professor McGonagall wrote to our parents?"

Ron looked up in question and then grimaced when he recognized Errol flying towards him. "I think she did."

Harry accepted the letter from Persephone, letting her eat some of his toast as he unfolded it, holding his breath as he read.

Harry,

You fought a troll?

I don't know whether to congratulate you on such an amazing feat or smack your head against Ron's for being so incredibly stupid! Minnie said something about you knocking it out with its own club? Clever, I suppose — but what the hell were you thinking?

You could have been killed!

You could have gotten your friends killed!

You write me back an explanation right away, Prongslet, or the next letter I send — will be a Howler.

Love,

Uncle Sirius

PS: You should have earned way more than five points for that!

Harry grinned sheepishly, sneaking a glance at Ron. "He's mad, but I think he's impressed too."

Ron smirked. "Mum's livid, but she sounds a little proud. I'll take it."

Harry pulled out his bag to find some parchment. "I have to write him back right away though. Persephone, will you wait?"

She hooted at him and helped herself to his toast again.

Harry quickly scribbled a response.

Uncle Sirius,

I didn't plan to go after the mountain troll. It was in the dungeons and Hermione didn't know about it because she missed the feast. Ron and I went to find her to warn her about the troll, but we came across the troll and accidentally locked the troll in the girl's bathroom with Hermione.

We couldn't just leave her there!

And I didn't knock the troll out, Ron did. He was a quick thinker. I just decided to jump on the troll's back to distract it, which didn't work out too well, though I did stick my wand up his nose by accident — he really didn't like that. It was stupid on my part.

I'll write more later; have to get to class.

Love,

Harry

He folded up the letter and quickly and gave it to Persephone. She hooted at him and took off and he turned to grin at Ron.

"At least we didn't get detention."

Ron grinned back. "True."

~ ASC ~

Harry did write back home later that night. He explained to Sirius how Professor Quirrell had burst into the Great Hall during the feast, how they had seen Snape sneaking around instead of being in the dungeons with the other teachers, and how Hermione seemed to be their friend now.

Sirius frowned as he re-read the letter, wondering why Snape hadn't been with the other teachers. That was a bit suspicious.

Speaking of Snape, Remus had been picking up his own potion since September taking away Sirius' excuse to talk to Snape. He wanted to have a word with him if he was going to be treating Harry and Neville and the other students with so much disdain and rudeness.

Remus knew him well and was obviously doing what he could to stop a blowout, but Sirius had a feeling that it was coming soon.

He grinned at Remus when he saw him standing outside of The Three Broomsticks where they had agreed to meet.

"Hey," he said, walking over to his friend. "Are you as excited as I am?"

Remus grinned at him. "I was so excited I barely slept."

Sirius grinned back at him. "Me too." They walked side by side towards the gate to Hogwarts. "I know that you've been picking up the potion so that I won't see Snape."

Remus sighed. "I just don't want you two to start something that's going to affect Harry. He's his teacher after all."

"He is already affecting Harry and Neville! He's a git and Neville is so scared of him that he trembles when he walks into the classroom, how is that healthy?" Sirius demanded.

"I didn't say that it was," Remus told him with a sigh. "Just don't hex him when you see him — at least not in front of Harry. You have to set a good example now."

"I guess that's fair," Sirius admitted, trying not to smile at the thought of hexing Snape.

They both smiled at Hagrid as he let them in the gate and led them over the bridge and down to the Quidditch pitch for the match. They headed into the stands to sit with the teachers and the other parents as the stands filled up with students. Gryffindor was playing Slytherin, Sirius noted.

He moved over to sit next to McGonagall. "So, Minnie, two eleven-year-olds take on a fully grown mountain troll and live to tell about it and you only award them five measly points? Man, tough crowd."

McGonagall rolled her eyes. "They are lucky to be alive, Sirius!"

"Noted, but still… five fucking points?"

Her lips twitched, slightly. "I blame you entirely, Sirius Black. Now go sit over there and behave yourself."

He grinned and kissed her cheek before returning to sit next to Remus.

The Gryffindor team marched out and pride burst from him as Harry came out last, Potter written across the back of his gold and red uniform and his Nimbus 2000 clutched in his hand. Madam Hooch marched across the lawn and the game began.

Sirius' eyes widened as he watched Harry fly. He was truly talented. He had a gift and it was something that he could never have learnt. It was in his blood. The way he held himself, the way he angled and swayed — it was a talent.

"I think he might even fly better than James," Sirius admitted to Remus who nodded next to him.

"I was thinking the same thing," Remus murmured, his eyes on Harry and a big smile on his face, pride beaming from him.

Sirius approved of the way that he was staying out of the thick of it; his eyes searching for that little speck of gold. When he saw it and dived, Sirius' heart jumped into his throat. He watched with pride and fascination as Harry made a spectacular dive for the Snitch, gripping the broom tightly with perfect control.

But then that control was gone.

Suddenly the broom started to buck and Sirius' mouth opened in horror as it flipped and Harry seemed to be holding on for dear life.

"What is he doing?" Remus demanded, standing up next to Sirius. "He's going to fall!"

"No, he's not," Sirius said sternly. "He's got this!"

But as the broom continued to buck and flip, his stomach twisted nervously. He looked to McGonagall who had her hands over her mouth in horror as she watched his son and he pulled out his wand. Forget this, he was marching right down there and getting his boy off of that broom.

"You're on fire!" someone yelled and he fell to the side as everyone shifted in time to see blue flames engulfing Snape's robes. In the struggle, everyone got knocked over and then Remus grabbed Sirius' arm.

"Padfoot!"

Sirius watched as Harry got back on his broom and dove towards the ground, landing rather roughly as he flipped and landed on his butt.

"Did he get the Snitch?" Sirius exclaimed.

Remus' eyes widened. "He looks like he's going to —"

Harry blanched and Sirius' grinned as the Golden Snitch popped out of his mouth.

"AND HARRY POTTER CATCHES THE SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR WINS!"

Sirius and Remus hugged each other and then McGonagall as the crowd cheered. They hurried down onto the pitch, both of them squishing Harry between them in a big hug.

"That was amazing, Prongslet! You were born to be on a broom! What a save!" Sirius exclaimed.

Remus grinned widely. "You fly better than your dad did! But what the hell was happening up there?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. It was like all of a sudden my broom had a mind of its own. I couldn't control it."

"Snape was jinxing it!" Ron exclaimed, out of breath from his mad dash down from the stands.

Neville nodded from next to them. "We saw him! He was staring at Harry, muttering under his breath and he never broke eye contact!"

"That means he was cursing the broom," Hermione said matter of factly. "But don't worry, Harry, I set his robes on fire."

Sirius' eyes widened as he stared at them. "You set his robes on fire? What the hell do you mean Snape was jinxing the broom?"

"Uncle Sirius —" Harry began.

Remus grabbed Sirius' arm. "Sirius, we don't know that's what happened! It makes sense, yes, that he was doing something, but we don't know that he was jinxing the broom."

"But we bloody well know someone was and if that git does anything to hurt my son I'm going to bloody him," Sirius demanded, his grey eyes full of fire.

"Uncle Sirius, I'm fine, don't worry! We won!"

Sirius smiled at him, pride bursting from him. "You did and I am so proud of you."

He hugged Harry again, but when his gaze met Remus', Remus knew that Sirius was definitely not going to 'not worry' about it.