Author's Note:

Zee and Sirius still have a bit to go, but they know that they want to be with each other, but both are scared of it being anything too serious. We'll have to wait and see!

Reviews and Comments: To alix33: Happy you enjoyed Sirius' first howler LOL. Yes, Dobby does become much cuter once we learn he has such a big heart. To Guest: Yes, Scabbers! To Guest: Thank you! You will have to wait a bit longer for the favour that Malfoy is lording over Harry.

Thank you very much for reading and please, please review!

Your reviews give me life! They give me inspiration! And they make me want to keep writing for more than just myself! Thank you!

CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE:

The One Where They Realize Their New Professor Is A Moron

The first few days of classes, Harry found himself just waiting for a new letter from Sirius, waiting for his father to start to panic when he realized just how close Harry had actually been to dying. Remus had already written him, lecturing him on how lucky he had been and the importance of magical secrecy, but Harry knew Remus was a little impressed as well, despite his lecture.

The second letter from Sirius arrived at the end of the first week.

Harry,

In hindsight, stealing a flying car and flying it to Hogwarts with Ron was a very stupid move. First of all, you were seen, which is breaking the magical secrecy law. Secondly, you hit the Whomping Willow tree, which is a magical beast in itself, designed to protect itself at all cost. And third, I need more details on why the barrier at Platform Nine and Three Quarters wasn't open to you.

McGonagall and I spoke about Dobby's warning as well. The school was checked before the first of September for signs of anything that could be a problem, but nothing was found. Please try to stay out of trouble. Maybe try to find the map, pull some pranks, help Ginny with her first year — but please don't do anything life threatening.

Love,

Sirius

The letter made him smile. He knew that Sirius was right, but in the heat of the moment, he and Ron had just panicked. Flying the car to Hogwarts seemed like the most logical solution. In reality, they should have just waited for Mr and Mrs Weasley.

Classes started and the familiar rhythm of the school year took over and Harry forgot all about Dobby's warning. He was much too preoccupied with their new and completely idiotic Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

Professor Quirrell hadn't been the best teacher, true, not to mention there was that whole bit where he had Voldemort possessing him, but at least he had taught them stuff. Harry had learned spells and jinxes and had exams.

Professor Lockhart on the other hand, was a complete idiot.

The first day of class, he had spent a large amount of time retelling them stories from the books that he had written. Then he had surprised them with a pop quiz to see if any of them had read his books thoroughly. The quiz had been entirely about him and there hadn't been a single question detailing anything remotely about Defence Against the Dark Arts.

As if the quiz hadn't been bad enough. He had then presented them with a cage full of Cornish pixies. He had set them loose upon the class, attempted to show them how to 'round them up,' lost his wand, and then hid in his office. The pixies created absolute mayhem. And poor Neville ended up hanging from the chandelier in the middle of the classroom.

Hermione, in her quick thinking, froze them in place. Harry levitated Neville down from the ceiling and he, Hermione, Ron, and Neville carefully shoved the pixies back into the cage.

"What a moron!" Ron exclaimed when they finally closed the cage. "He couldn't even perform the very spell that he tried to teach us!"

Harry nodded from next to him. "Right? I was literally thinking that Quirrell was at least a better teacher."

Hermione scoffed at them. "He's a genius! He did all of those amazing things in his books and I'm sure that he would have performed the spell admirably if the pixies hadn't stolen his wand."

Neville merely snorted at Hermione. "His quiz was all questions about him."

"And you got perfect!" Ron accused in disgust.

Hermione huffed. "Just because I actually did the reading, there's no need to get jealous."

Harry rolled his eyes. "You just think that he's attractive."

Hermione flushed. "I do not!"

But she refused to speak to them for the rest of the afternoon.

Harry ran into Ginny on his way down to dinner that night. "Hey, Ginny, how's your first week going?"

She shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"Only okay?"

Ginny sighed and tucked her red hair behind her ear. "It's a little overwhelming is all."

Harry nodded. "I know that feeling. Don't worry, once you make some new friends it won't feel so strange."

She smiled gratefully at him and hurried off. Harry just watched her go, his brow furrowed. Ginny was always so full of energy, seeing her a little down like that made him worry. He wondered if Luna getting into Ravenclaw instead of Gryffindor was part of it. He made a mental note to mention it to Fred and George. They were the best at cheering up their little sister.

When he got to dinner that night, McGonagall handed him and Ron each an envelope with their respective detention slips in it.

"I forgot about this," Harry admitted after she walked away.

Hermione glared at them. "You two stole a car and flew it to Scotland! Detention is the least you deserve!"

Harry agreed that they had been pretty fortunate in that regard especially because Dumbledore had warned them that the next time they broke any serious rules he would be forced to expel them. That was a terrifying thought and detention didn't seem so bad after knowing what they had escaped from until he opened his envelope. "I have to spend my detention with bloody Lockhart!"

Ron groaned respectively and then opened his own. "I have to meet Filch in the trophy room! He's going to make me clean everything by hand, I can just feel it!"

"At least it's not until Saturday," Harry said helping himself to some food. "Hi, Oliver," he said as Wood took a seat next to him.

"Harry, good, we need to talk Quidditch."

"The first match isn't until November," Harry said.

Wood nodded. "I know. But last year we should have won, we had the team for it but, you know, that last match…"

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He had been unconscious in the hospital wing during the last Quidditch match and a team without a Seeker hadn't exactly had a chance at success. "Er, right."

"Tomorrow morning, be at the pitch for six. We're starting a new detailed training program and this year we are going to win! I can feel it!"

Harry nodded, grinning at his enthusiasm, "Right, six, I'll be there!"

"That's AM, Potter," Wood added before moving down the table to sit with Alicia Spinnet, a Chaser on the team.

"At least I'll have Quidditch to tire myself out on before detention," he added brightly.

Ron simply scowled. "I think I'd rather take Lockhart over Filch."

Harry grimaced at him. "I'd trade you if I could."

~ ASC ~

The next morning, Wood spent almost two hours rambling on and on about his new regimented and detailed training camp that he had planned over the summer for the Gryffindor team. Harry heard about thirty percent of it. He kept yawning. Fred was asleep on Katie's's shoulder and Angelina was asleep with her head on George's leg. George's eyes were closed against the locker and Alicia was trying to look interested, but her head kept drooping.

Wood noticed none of it.

By the time they got down to the pitch, Harry was anxious to get on his broom and to fly again. He'd spent a good portion of his summer flying, practicing dives, sharp turns, and swoops, but to actually train for the team was something that he was excited to get started on.

But to his surprise, the Slytherin Quidditch team was moving towards them on the pitch. Ron and Hermione, who had come to watch him practice, hurried down from the stands as the opposing team approached them.

"Flint! I booked the pitch for Gryffindor today!" Wood exclaimed, angrily. "You and your team have no business being here!"

Marcus Flint, a burly sixth year and opposing team captain merely glared menacingly at them. "You did, yes but Professor Snape gave us express permission to practice today as we have to train our new Seeker."

"New Seeker?" Wood asked in astonishment.

Harry groaned aloud when Draco Malfoy stepped out from behind the team. "Malfoy?"

Malfoy grinned at him. "That's right, Potter. And look what my father generously donated to our team to congratulate me."

The Slytherin team as a whole lifted their brooms. They were all sleek black Nimbus 2001s, the very latest model.

"Your father bought everyone a new broomstick?" Ron spluttered.

Malfoy turned to glare at him. "That's right. He's very supportive of my extra curricular activities."

Hermione crossed her arms in front of her chest. "At least no one in Gryffindor had to buy their way in, they got in on pure talent."

Malfoy's grey eyes flashed dangerously. "No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood!"

Ron gasped and pulled his wand out from his robes. "You apologize to Hermione, Malfoy!"

Malfoy merely smirked. "It's what she is, Weasley."

Harry attempted to grab Ron, but he wasn't fast enough. Ron demanded that Malfoy eat slugs and his broken wand malfunctioned. It backfired and it was Ron who was now being forced to belch up slugs.

"We have to take him to Madam Pomfrey," Hermione said as the Slytherins all laughed at Ron's misfortune and Malfoy mimicked vomiting in the background.

"No," Harry said, helping Hermione with Ron and leaving Wood to argue with Flint. "Hagrid's closer."

Hagrid set Ron up with a bucket, grimacing sympathetically as Ron turned green and belched up another slug.

"Better out tha' in I always say."

Harry grinned at him. "Thanks, Hagrid." He moved to put an arm around Hermione. "Are you okay?"

Hermione turned to look at them, tears in her eyes. "I don't even know what it means so why should it upset me?"

Harry bit his lip, but Ron responded first.

"It's a terrible thing! It means dirty blood and it's not true!"

Harry nodded. "It's something foul for Muggleborns and only Malfoy in his pureblood superiority would ever say it."

"An' there's not a spell our 'ermione 'asna figured out," Hagrid said with a smile.

Hermione's lip trembled and she nodded. "Thank you for attempting to defend me, Ron."

Ron attempted a smile, but vomited another slug instead.

Harry glared out the window at the Quidditch pitch. "I can't believe Malfoy's father bought the entire Slytherin team new brooms! Is that even allowed?"

"No rules against it," Hagrid said, glancing out towards the pitch.

Hermione smiled at him. "Don't worry, Harry, Gryffindor has the better team."

Harry only nodded. "Hey, Hagrid, do you have any food? Wood made us miss breakfast and I'm starving."

Hagrid grinned happily. "O' course! Sit down, I'll whip yeh up somethin' nice!"

~ ASC ~

Sirius spent Saturday afternoon visiting Gringotts. After sending Harry the letter, he had started to consider that he needed a better way of communicating with his son. The two-way communication mirror that he and James had made when he had been in fourth year seemed like the best option. The problem was that Sirius couldn't find James'. He had searched through all of the stuff that had belonged to his best mate, but had come up empty handed.

He concluded that it had to be in the Potter Vault which was where everything from the house in Godric's Hollow had been placed.

The goblin, Bogrod, was watching him in annoyance from the doorway, but Sirius ignored him. He wasn't leaving here until he found it or that he knew for certain it wasn't here. To his delight, he did find it. There was a large black jewellery box on the shelf at the back of the vault. When Sirius opened it, the mirror was resting on the top wrapped in a red velvet bag.

When he lifted the mirror out, his heart clenched. Beneath the mirror were James and Lily's wedding rings. He had been with them when they had picked them out. They had wanted something simple. They were both Gryffindor gold. Lily's had a three small diamonds, James' was only a simple gold band. On the inside of each ring was an engraving: in my life, I love you more ~ J; I love you, yeah, yeah! ~ L. Next to Lily's wedding ring was her engagement ring. It had been passed down in the Potter family for generations. It was gold and full of diamonds with a large ruby as the centre. It had looked magnificent on her.

Beneath the rings lay the watch that James had gotten for his seventeenth birthday, the diamond hooped earrings Lily had worn when they had gotten married, and the simple gold necklace that said Lily that Lily's father had given her for her thirteenth birthday. The sight of it made him sad, but it also made him smile.

Deciding to take the whole box with him, he turned with it in his hands. "This is it, we can go back up now."

The goblin merely nodded and Sirius followed him out of the vault.

He would put James' watch away for Harry's own seventeenth birthday, he would like that, he thought.

When he got home, he shifted through the box to see what else was inside and his smile widened when he saw the stag dangling off of Lily's charm bracelet. He had given her the charm in sixth year for her birthday, along with a stuffed animal of a stag. Lily had merely stared at him in bewilderment.

The memory made him smile and he decided to add it to the memory chest for Harry as he placed it in the Pensieve to view.

"Happy Seventeenth Birthday, Lily!" Sirius exclaimed, hugging her.

She smiled warmly at him, tucking a loose hair behind her ears. "Thanks. It's nice to finally be seventeen. I can do magic whenever I want now!"

Sirius grinned at her. "Welcome to the club. Just have to wait on those other slowpokes to catch up with us." He pulled the gift bag from behind his back. "I got you a little something."

Lily beamed at him. "Oh, Sirius, you didn't have to do that!"

Sirius shrugged but grinned. "I wanted to get you something. You've always been a great friend to me and a girl deserves something on her seventeenth birthday."

Lily smiled warmly, moving to sit on the bench in the hall as she accepted the gift bag. "Well, thank you." She carefully parted the tissue paper as she tugged out the fluffy white stag. "Oh, it's so cute!"

Sirius grinned mischievously. "Stags are rather magnificent creatures, aren't they?"

Lily looked at him quizzically. "I suppose. They are beautiful and strong not to mention a great protector for all. Why did you choose a stag, Sirius?"

Sirius smirked at her. "For those reasons obviously. By the way, his name is Prongs."

Lily's eyebrow rose. "Prongs?"

Sirius just grinned. "Keep him close, eh? Maybe sleep with him."

Lily only smirked at him. "Sure, Sirius, thank you."

Sirius nodded. "There's one more thing in there."

Lily reached back into the bag and pulled out a small ring box. When she opened it up, there was a small silver stag charm there. "Oh, it's beautiful!"

"I know how much you love that bracelet that your parents got you for Christmas a few years ago so I thought maybe you'd like to add another charm to it," he explained with a smile.

"I love it, Sirius! It's perfect! Again with the stag, I suppose his name is Prongs as well?"

"Obviously," Sirius said with a grin. "It's a protection sign and I thought the stag was a good symbol of that."

Lily unhooked her bracelet from her wrist and carefully clipped the stag charm into place. "It's perfect, thank you." She kissed his cheek just as James came around the corner.

Lily picked up Prongs and tucked the stuffed animal under her arm. "Potter."

James' eyes had widened as he stared at the stuffed animal in her arms. "Stags, Lily?"

"Prongs," Lily said with a smile as James' eyes widened even more. "He was a birthday gift from Sirius." She smiled at her friend. "Thanks again, Sirius."

"Of course, happy birthday, Lily."

Lily smiled as she said goodbye and she grabbed her things and hurried off around the corner.

James turned to glare at Sirius. "You gave her a stuffed animal of a stag and told her it was named Prongs!"

Sirius simply smirked at her. "I figured it was the closest you would ever get to her bed."

"I hate you, Padfoot."

Sirius grinned at him. "Love you too, Prongs."

The memory made him chuckle. He remembered how the following year when Lily had in fact discovered that James was an Animagus that could turn into a stag and had the nickname of Prongs, how she had hit Sirius in the arm and called him a prat. But she had loved that stuffed animal even more and she had given it to Harry when he had been a baby. It was a nice memory, he thought.

He locked the Pensieve and the memories away in the small vault in his closet along with the jewellery box. He kept the two-way mirror in his hand as he wrapped it up and carefully boxed it safely.

Knowing Harry had this mirror would make him feel a lot better. He would send it to him first thing in the morning.

~ ASC ~

When Harry got to his detention that night, Ron was feeling loads better, but was unfortunately still belching up the occasional slug. He knocked on the door to Professor Lockhart's office with dread. The thought of spending any time with this man did not interest him in the least.

"Harry!" Lockhart exclaimed in glee, tugging him inside. "Welcome! Welcome!"

"I'm here for my detention, Professor."

Lockhart merely grinned at him. "You are still welcome!"

Harry glanced around the office in curiosity. The walls were full of huge smiling portraits of Lockhart himself which he found a little unnerving. He took a seat in the chair at the end of Lockhart's desk where he was gestured to and waited patiently.

"Harry, Harry, Harry, I must say — when I heard about the flying car incident, I blamed myself entirely."

Harry looked up in surprise and bewilderment. "Why?"

Lockhart smiled, showing him each and every one of those pearly whites. "Well, I gave you the bug, didn't I?"

"The bug?" Harry repeated not understanding what on earth Lockhart was talking about.

"When we got our photo together, you got the bug! You like the limelight! Well, let me tell you, fame is a fickle friend, Harry. I know that you're quite famous already, in your own right," he added, his gaze flicking to his lightning bolt scar. "But there's no need to make yourself too over the top — people won't respect you otherwise."

"Uh-huh," Harry said, unsure of how to respond. "I didn't take a flying car here to be more famous, Professor."

Lockhart only smirked at him. "Harry, Harry, Harry, don't be coy with me! I saw right through you! Now, since you did break some rules, I asked Professor McGonagall to let you serve detention with me as I really don't think you should be punished at all. So I have a treat for you."

Harry smiled a little in curiosity. He wasn't going to be serving detention? Maybe being with Lockhart wasn't going to be too bad.

"You can help me answer my fan mail!"

He groaned. Scratch that. It was way worse than he had imagined.

Four hours later, it was definitely worse. His hand had started to cramp up. Lockhart spent the entire time telling him about his devoted fans and how he had done this great thing after another. Fans were important and they wanted to be appreciated as much as the star was and how being famous was a responsibility, not a right.

Listening to Lockhart drone on and on was part of the reason why he had thought that he was going a little mad when he had first heard the voice say the word 'kill.' When he looked at Lockhart in alarm, he didn't even notice, but then he heard it again.

"I'm sorry, did you just say you wanted to kill something?" Harry asked him, his brow furrowed.

Lockhart looked at him in confusion. "No, no, I said I wanted to try something new. You must be getting tired and goodness gracious, no wonder, we've been at it nearly four hours! Time really flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?"

Harry only nodded, grateful to be leaving. But as he made his way back up to Gryffindor Tower he couldn't help but wonder about the disembodied voice he had thought he'd heard and why Lockhart hadn't acknowledged it.

It was definitely very strange.