Author's Note:

Reviews and Comments: To alix33: Sirius was too concerned about Harry's well-being to think properly, clearly. Auntie Minnie is definitely a Queen. Everyone will definitely be talking about the time Lockhart was punched lol. To Guest: Yes, Harry knows and of course he's happy. Yes, Remus punched Lockhart and yes, Harry had a wet dream. Thank you.

Thank you very much for reading and please, please review!

Your reviews give me life! They give me inspiration! And they make me want to keep writing for more than just myself! Thank you!

CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE:

The One With the Mad House Elf

Sirius, Remus, and Tonks left Harry's bedside at nine that night. Sirius wanted to stay, but Harry insisted that he go home. He was only re-growing bones and hardly needed them to stay all night holding his hand. But within minutes of them being gone, he wished that they were back as he now had nothing to distract himself from the pain in his arm.

He tried to read through the textbook that Remus had left him, intrigued at some of the charms and jinxes there including tickling, tripping, and a leg-locker curse, all of which he was quite anxious to try out. Madam Pomfrey checked on him again around ten thirty and told him to try to get some sleep. When she ordered him to turn off the lamp, he sighed and reluctantly agreed.

He attempted to get comfortable, but his arm now felt like he was being stabbed with large splinters, somehow he drifted off to sleep despite it. He was awoken quite suddenly hours later and yelped in pain. His arm was distinctly sore and uncomfortable, but he didn't think that it was painful enough to have woken him.

Then, with a thrill of horror, he realized that someone was sponging his forehead in the dark.

"Get off!" he said loudly, and then, "Dobby!"

The house-elf's goggling tennis ball eyes were peering at Harry through the darkness. A single tear was running down his long, pointed nose.

"Harry Potter came back to school," he whispered miserably. "Dobby warned and warned Harry Potter. Ah Sir, why didn't you heed Dobby? Why didn't Harry Potter go back home when he missed the train?"

Harry heaved himself up on his pillows and pushed Dobby's sponge away. "What're you doing here?" he demanded. "And how did you know that I missed the train?"

Dobby's lip trembled and Harry was seized by a sudden suspicion.

"It was you!" he said slowly. "You stopped the barrier from letting us through!"

"Indeed yes, Sir," Dobby said, nodding his head vigorously, ears flapping. "Dobby hid and watched for Harry Potter and sealed the gateway and Dobby had to iron his hands afterward," he said as he showed Harry ten long, bandaged fingers. "But Dobby didn't care, Sir, for he thought Harry Potter was safe, and never did Dobby dream that Harry Potter would get to school another way!"

Harry slumped back onto his pillows as he listened to Dobby try to explain why he had blocked the barrier to the Hogwarts Express. When Dobby told him how his Bludger obviously still hadn't been enough to send Harry home, Harry's temper flared.

"Your Bludger?" Harry demanded, anger rising once more. "What d'you mean, your Bludger? You made that Bludger try and kill me?"

"Not kill you, Sir, never kill you!" Dobby said, shocked. "Dobby wants to save Harry Potter's life! Better sent home, grievously injured, than remain here, Sir! Dobby only wanted Harry Potter hurt enough to be sent home!"

"Oh, is that all?" Harry said, angrily. "I don't suppose that you're going to tell me why you wanted me sent home in pieces?"

"Ah, if Harry Potter only knew!" Dobby groaned, more tears dripping onto his ragged pillowcase. "If he knew what he means to us, to the lowly, the enslaved, we dregs of the magical world!"

Harry's face flushed in embarrassment as Dobby proceeded to praise him for his triumphant defeat over Voldemort eleven years prior. He winced slightly as the bones in his arm stabbed at him while they were regrowing and his attention re-focused when Dobby mentioned that history was repeating itself.

"So, there is a Chamber of Secrets?" Harry whispered. "And did you say that it's been opened before? Tell me, Dobby!"

"Dobby can't, Sir, Dobby can't, Dobby mustn't tell!" The elf squealed. "Go home, Harry Potter, go home!"

"I'm not going anywhere!" Harry said fiercely. "One of my best friends is a Muggleborn and she'll be first in line if the Chamber really has been opened!"

"Harry Potter risks his own life for his friends!" Dobby moaned in a kind of miserable ecstasy. "So noble! So valiant! But he must save himself, he must, Harry Potter must not —" Dobby suddenly froze, his bat ears quivering. Harry heard it, too. There were footsteps coming down the passageway outside. "Dobby must go!" The elf breathed, terrified.

There was a loud crack, and the elf was gone. Harry lay back down, listening attentively as the footsteps got closer and light from the corridor spilled through the door of the hospital wing.

Dumbledore was backing into the dormitory, wearing a long woolly dressing gown and a nightcap. He was carrying what looked like a statue and Professor McGonagall walked in carrying the other end as they carefully put it onto the hospital bed.

"Get Madam Pomfrey," Dumbledore whispered, and Professor McGonagall hurried past the end of Harry's bed out of sight.

Harry lay quite still, pretending to be asleep. He heard urgent voices, and then Professor McGonagall swept back into view, closely followed by Madam Pomfrey, who was pulling a cardigan on over her nightdress. He heard a sharp intake of breath.

"What happened?" Madam Pomfrey whispered to Dumbledore, bending over the statue on the bed.

"Another attack," Dumbledore said. "Minerva found him on the stairs."

"There was a bunch of grapes next to him," Professor McGonagall said. "We think that he was trying to sneak up here to visit Potter."

Harry's stomach gave a horrible lurch. Slowly and carefully, he raised himself a few inches so that he could look at the statue on the bed and found himself looking at the frozen petrified form of a small blond haired boy holding a camera.

It was Colin Creevey.

He swallowed slowly as they attempted to open the camera, but the stench of burning plastic wafted through the hospital wing.

"Melted," Madam Pomfrey said wonderingly. "All melted…"

"What does this mean, Albus?" Professor McGonagall asked urgently.

"It means," Dumbledore said slowly as Harry struggled to listen to the erratic whispers in curiosity, "that the Chamber of Secrets is indeed open again."

Madam Pomfrey clapped a hand to her mouth.

Professor McGonagall stared at Dumbledore. "But, Albus… surely… who would do such a thing?"

"The question is not who," Dumbledore said, his eyes on Colin. "The question is, how…"

Harry waited almost twenty minutes after the professors had left before he tried to contact Sirius, but then he remembered that he'd left his mirror on his bedside table that morning, worried that it would get broken playing Quidditch, and cursed himself for it now.

What had Dumbledore meant about the Chamber having been opened before and that it was indeed open again?

And Colin… he had been petrified just like Mrs Norris. What kind of terrible thing could freeze someone in that way?

Harry didn't go back to sleep.

By the time Madam Pomfrey had come to see him in the morning, claiming him fit to return to his dorm, all thirty-three bones having regrown successfully, he practically sprinted back to Gryffindor Tower. He found his dormitory deserted, surprising him. He had expected Ron and Neville to at least have been waiting for him.

Dean stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and nodded at Harry. "Hey, great flying yesterday! How's the arm?"

"All bones regrown," Harry said with a grin.

Dean nodded, sympathetically. "Lockhart's a real pillock. Glad your arm is okay. That was your uncle that punched him, wasn't it? It was brilliant!"

"Thanks, and yeah it was. He was a little embarrassed afterwards, but I thought it was great. Dean, do you know where Ron and Neville are?"

"Dunno. They were both up and gone before I woke this morning."

Harry nodded and headed into the bathroom with his toiletries. He took a quick shower; getting the grime and mud and sweat off of him from the match yesterday. He cleaned his teeth and attempted to comb his hair as he got dressed and then he went back to his room, snagging the mirror from his bedside table. Dean was gone now so Harry held the mirror up to his mouth and said Sirius' name.

The mirror shimmered and Sirius' face appeared there. "Morning, Harry! How's the arm?"

"It's fine," Harry said, quickly. "Uncle Sirius, something happened after you left." He quickly told him about Dobby and about Colin. "Did you know that the Chamber was opened before?"

Sirius shook his head, his grey eyes full of worry. "Yeah, I heard a rumour that it was, I'm still looking into it. I don't like the sound of this that's for sure and Dumbledore obviously knows more than he's telling."

"I'm not in danger though, I'm a half-blood — hardly an enemy of the heir."

Sirius nodded. "In theory, yes… at least we know that the barrier and the Bludger was a severely misguided house elf, but yeah, I suppose in regards to that, you are safe."

"Hermione isn't though! Colin was Muggleborn and so is she!"

"Harry, there is nothing that you can do about this. Stay close to Hermione; don't let her wander off alone. Dumbledore will get to the bottom of this. It sounds like he has some idea of what is going on. I'll speak to Minnie and Remus… try to find out about the Chamber having happened before."

Harry sighed. "I'm sure if I just did a little investigating… maybe it is Malfoy!"

Sirius smiled at him. "It's not Malfoy. Keep your nose out of it, Prongslet. I want you back in one piece this year."

"I know, I know," Harry said, reluctantly.

"If I find out anything else, I'll let you know. You're not doing anything else you shouldn't be, are you?"

Harry thought about the Polyjuice Potion again and smiled innocently at his father. "No," he answered, quickly.

Sirius stared at him for a moment. "Fuck! I don't even want to know, Prongslet, just stay safe."

Harry grinned at him. "Uncle Siri, what do you think Dumbledore meant when he said it's not who, but how? Do you think he knows who opened it?"

"No, he doesn't know who exactly or he would stop it, but I imagine knowing Dumbledore, he has his suspicions."

Harry didn't find that very helpful.

When Harry saw his own reflection in the mirror again, he slipped it into his pocket and hurried off to find his friends. After eating a full lunch in the Great Hall and listening to Wood praise him for his incredible save, he was starting to get concerned about his absent friends.

Ginny slid onto the bench next to him and carefully helped herself to some strawberries. Harry noticed her hand was shaking slightly and he reached over to take it in his own.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Ginny stared at him for a moment, her big chocolate brown eyes wide and fearful. "Colin was my friend."

"Hey," Harry said, dropping her hand and slipping an arm around her to hug her close. Ginny buried her face against his shoulder as he held her. "He's going to be okay, Ginny. He was petrified like Mrs Norris and as soon as the potion is ready he's going to be cured."

Ginny kept her face against his shoulder. "Harry, I…"

"What?" Harry asked her, pulling back a little to look into her eyes. "You can tell me anything, Gin."

Ginny bit her bottom lip. "No… it's stupid."

"That's okay, I like stupid."

She smirked a little. "I've just been having bad dreams is all. It's nothing to worry about."

Harry's brow rose slightly at that. "Never be ashamed of having bad dreams. You know where to find me as well as your brothers. Don't keep them to yourself, Ginny."

She nodded and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Harry."

George slid into the seat next to Ginny and stabbed a breakfast sausage with his fork. "Morning all, how's the arm, Harry?"

"All better," he said with a grin.

George slipped an arm around his sister's shoulders. "Missed you at the party last night, Nevra, where did you disappear to?"

Ginny shrugged. "I wanted some quiet."

"Scribbling away in that secret diary again?"

Ginny only picked up her toast.

Harry sighed. "There was another attack, George. Ginny's friend Colin."

"Ah, nuts," George said, tugging his sister close. "You're staying with Fred and I today, girlie, no arguments."

Ginny just nodded, but she seemed rather pleased with that news.

Harry finished his breakfast and hurried off to find his friends. After checking the library, the common room and Hagrid's, he was starting to wonder where they had run off to. Then he remembered the potion and carefully made his way up to the corridor and into the girl's bathroom. Ron, Hermione, and Neville were all there, but only Hermione was working on the potion.

"Harry!" she hissed. "You scared us."

"Sorry, I've been looking everywhere for you guys. Did you hear about Colin?"

Hermione nodded, her eyes dark. "It's why we're here. We have to get this finished so that we can talk to Malfoy."

Harry filled them in about Dobby and about what Dumbledore had said.

Neville's eyes widened in fear. "This happened before? When?"

"I don't know, Nev, but I think Dumbledore knows more than he's saying."

Ron let out a deep breath as if resigning himself to the inevitable. "Alright, 'Mione, what else do you need us to do?"

~ ASC ~

Sirius smiled warmly when McGonagall arrived for her usual Sunday tea that afternoon. He kissed her cheek as she settled herself in his common room and he served her tea and biscuits. He enjoyed these Sunday afternoons with her that usually occurred at least twice a month since Harry had been accepted to Hogwarts.

Today, he had questions for her.

"So, Minnie, what can you tell me about the Chamber of Secrets?"

McGonagall sighed and sipped her tea. "Nothing more than you already know I imagine."

Sirius smiled at her. "Come on now, you are best friends with Dumbledore, you have to know more than that."

She chuckled. "I don't. And while Albus and I are close friends, I wouldn't say that we are best friends. He's a very… solitary man."

"Come on, Minnie, that's not true. You two were always discussing books you've read."

McGonagall blushed. "Well, to be honest, Albus and I both share a deep love for the romance novel. Albus just leant me one last week called A Year in Arcadia: A Shepherd's Calendar by a German author from the nineteenth century, a Muggle. It's quite good, I must say not to mention the last one, Maurice by EM Forster was quite the page-turner." She cleared her throat as Sirius simply grinned at her. "But as to the Chamber, I imagine Harry has already told you that a student was attacked last night?" At his nod, she continued. "All I know is that the Chamber was opened before, but it was before my time as a professor here. Albus taught Transfiguration then and Dippet was Headmaster."

"You don't know who opened it back then?"

"I know someone was accused and whoever it was, expelled from Hogwarts, but Albus claims that they had been framed and he was never able to prove it, but he swears on their innocence."

"Interesting."

"A little. I just hope that we find the culprit soon. The last thing I want to see is another student end up in the hospital wing."

Sirius nodded. "You and me both."

"What are the governors saying, Sirius?"

He shrugged. "They're worried. Lucius is running his mouth about Dumbledore not doing his job properly, but most of the governors realize that's bull. A few of them even mentioned sending in people to search the school for the chamber, but Dumbledore refuses to allow that. He says that the school has been searched many times for it and no one ever finds it."

"True. I don't know what to think, Sirius," she admitted. "I really don't."

Sirius sighed and reached for a biscuit, biting through the oatmeal chocolate chip happily. "That doesn't reassure me."

She smiled, helping herself to a biscuit as well. "I wish that I could give you more. In better news, you must be proud of how wonderful Harry played yesterday."

"He's an incredible flyer, better than even Jamie was."

"I agree," McGonagall said with a smile. "I can't wait to see what he does in the air by his seventh year if he's already flying this well now."

"That Lockhart's a right git though, Minnie, he literally removed the bones from Harry's arm! How is that git an acceptable teacher? I've been complaining about him to the governors."

McGonagall's eyebrow rose in surprise. "What are they saying?"

"That unless a suitable replacement is found, he will be finishing out the school year. They've learned nothing in that class! Harry says that he just recounts them with his adventures."

"Hmm, while I do think he's quite full of himself, he is very intelligent. He achieved high marks when he was a student himself. I'll speak to him about his curriculum and see what he plans to cover over the next few weeks," she said, her eyes glittering in amusement. "You'll be pleased to know that he couldn't fix his own nose. Filius took pity on him and did it."

"You enjoyed watching Rem punch him, didn't you?"

McGonagall pursed her lips. "Of course I didn't, it was absolutely distasteful."

Sirius smirked. "Right."

Her eyes twinkled at him in response. "So, where has Zee been hiding? I expected her to be at the match."

"Subtle, Minnie."

McGonagall shrugged. "Well, I finally get to meet this woman that you're dating at Harry's birthday, I'm curious as to how she's doing."

"She's doing just fine and we're not dating. We're just… hanging out."

"Uh-huh," McGonagall said with a smirk. "I liked her. She's intelligent and she's a bit salty. I think she's quite good for you."

"Oh, you do, eh? I like her too. I mean, I really like her. She makes me laugh and I miss her like mad when she's travelling. She's easy to talk to and we have quite a bit in common."

"Why don't you go with her when she travels?"

He shrugged. "I considered it. She invited me to New Zealand with her this time but… I don't want to be too far away from Harry and I had a bit going on around here lately. Maybe next time I will."

"She's in New Zealand?"

Sirius nodded. "Somehow a herd of Erumpents has arrived there. Zee says that they are native to Africa and she is there trying to safely transfer them back to their home and find out who moved them to New Zealand in the first place. It's not the right climate for them and they can be quite dangerous if provoked. Her first priority is always the animals and keeping them safe from harm."

"That is true," McGonagall said with a smile. "I heard Erumpents can be dangerous if not handled correctly. When does she come back?"

"Tomorrow," he said, eagerly. "I've really missed her. She was gone almost all of August and was only home a week before she had to take off again. We've been writing letters, but it's not quite the same." He stood up, extending his hand to her. "Come on; I almost have the Adler finished, you've got to see how beautiful she looks."

McGonagall accepted his hand with a smile as she climbed to her feet. "Are you going to paint her red and gold?"

"Definitely. You can have the first ride."

"Sirius, I am not going to climb onto the back of that Muggle death trap. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this."

"We can talk about that later. Right now I just want you to see her."

"I'm not riding that motorbike," she insisted.

~ ASC ~

She didn't ride the motorcycle, but Sirius did get her to sit on it while he revved the engine much to her amusement. He had just finished cleaning up their tea and was deciding if he wanted to make himself something for dinner or just eat a quick sandwich when there was a knock on the front door.

He yawned as he padded across the living room to tug the door open and his grin widened at the sight of Zahira standing there.

"Zee!"

Zee laughed when he scooped her up, carrying her across the threshold and spinning in her a circle before his lips found hers for a long, deep kiss that left her breathless.

"I thought that you weren't coming back until tomorrow!"

She smiled at him when he finally set her back on the ground. "They changed my portkey time. I missed you," she said, standing on her toes to kiss him again.

"I missed you, too. Where's Lady G?"

"I left her at home. She was just as anxious as I was to return," she told him, her hand automatically scratching Marauder's head as he attempted to move between them in his demand for attention. "And she gets cranky after a portkey."

Sirius tugged her up against him again, his lips going to her neck. "I've barely seen you since the summer," he murmured, sucking the skin at her throat hard enough to leave a mark. "I have so much to tell you."

Zee laughed when he started to tug her jacket off of her shoulders and they tumbled onto the chesterfield in the living room, her lying on top of him. "I know, I've been travelling a lot lately, I'm sorry."

Sirius tugged her clothes off, his mouth on her newly exposed skin. "I need you first," he murmured, rolling her so that she was beneath him and lifting her shirt up to plant kisses along her newly exposed stomach. "Merlin, I need you," he repeated, his hips grinding her into the chesterfield and eliciting a delicious moan from her.

"I need you, too," she panted, fumbling with the button on his jeans.

Sirius didn't even wait to get undressed. He slipped her own jeans down her hips, along with her knickers, stopping at her knees. His fingers found her already wet. He moaned before he simply yanked his own jeans down just far enough to free himself before he slid deeply into her in one quick motion.

Zee cried out in surprise, her hands sliding down to clutch his bum. "Sirius," she moaned as he began to move.

"You're already so wet, Zee," he panted. "Fuck, I need this."

All she could do was hold on as his hips pushed her into the cushions and the delicious waves of pleasure overtook her. She held on to him as he brought her over the edge and she cried out his name.

She kissed his shoulders when he collapsed against her. "That wasn't quite the reunion I was expecting," she admitted.

Sirius nuzzled her neck, his arms holding her in place beneath him, still locked between her legs. "Mine neither, but I'm not complaining."

Zee chuckled and kissed him softly. "I really missed you."

"I really missed you," he said, kissing her deeply. "I wish you could stay tonight, but I promised Remus I'd head over there."

Zee smiled at him, gently brushing her hand down his cheek. "Well, I guess we better get it out of our system now then."

Sirius kissed her again, his thick length hardening inside of her.

That was exactly what he had wanted to hear.

End Author's Notes:

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets as that is the lovely JKR — as per usual, I did tweak the Dobby scene a bit to fit my storyline.

Reminder about Zee's tattoos:

1 - Gold and green tribal elephant on right side of ribs

2 - Red and gold dragon down her spine

3 - Black niffler on the back of her neck that sometimes travels around.

Books that I mentioned for anyone interested: A Year in Arcadia: A Shepherd's Calendar is about Duke August Emil Leopold von Sachsen-Gotha (1772-1822), contemporary and acquaintance of Goethe, was the cross-dressing ruler of a minuscule German territory during the Napoleonic Era, and also Queen Victoria's grandfather-in-law. He was known to his subjects as "the Happy." We do not know if Duke August was happy, but his single published work is gay in more ways than one. With its backdrop of classical Greek mythology, this pastoral fable concerning two handsome shepherds who fall in love is among the first homoerotic works in Europe, and is a forgotten treasure of German literature.

Maurice by EM Forster is about being heartbroken over unrequited love, which opened his heart and mind to his own sexual identity. In order to be true to himself, he goes against the grain of society's often unspoken rules of class, wealth, and politics.

Thank you for reading and please review!