Author's Note:
A few little changes… hope you like it.
Also — I'm going to see Fantastic Beasts for the third time tonight! I can't wait — it was amazing!
Reviews and Comments: To Paola1991: Bill definitely didn't put it on his brothers! He just wanted them to understand that it's their job as brothers to watch out for their sister. Thank you! I loved Harry asking Zee for cooking lessons too! To alix33: Ha, Fred does what he does best! Zee is definitely very sweet. The sandwich did sound divine, didn't it? To coloredwords: Yes, I wanted to delve deeper into McGonagall's past, which we will discover more about soon. Thank you! I agree, Harry needs a maternal figure and Zee is perfect. To dracoqueen: Thank you. I'm sorry that you only just noticed this is Harry/Ginny story, it does say so in the description. I will not be changing who he ends up with. To Steelcode: Thank you! To Brainarius: Thank you. I did know that. But it was fun to add it in, so I did.
To Millie072: Thank you. I think the brothers do need to make an effort with Ginny and yes, it's time for Harry to make a stronger connection with Zee. To geekymom: Thank you! To CrazyWithABook: Thank you! To Guest: Thank you! I'm glad you think the letters from Harry's friends along with Zee and Harry time are the cherry on top of a great chapter!
Thank you very much for reading and please, please review!
Your reviews give me life! They give me inspiration! And they make me want to keep writing for more than just myself! Thank you!
CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TEN:
The One Where Sirius Realizes He Wants Zee Forever
But Is Too Chicken To Say It
It was almost five o'clock that evening by the time that Sirius managed to get away from the Board of Governors and the meeting had started at eleven. It had been a lot of tedious organizing, but they finally had finished up the end of the course workload. Today's plan had been going over every single item in the curriculum and meeting with the new hires to discuss it.
Charity Burbage would continue to teach Muggle Studies to the students who wished to continue it in sixth and seventh year, but they had hired a new professor to teach all of the students from years one to five in the new mandatory Muggle Studies class. The new professor was a Muggleborn named Gideon Birmingham. He was in his early forties and had previously taught at Beauxbatons Académie.
The plan was to have each year talk about different highlights of the Muggle world: History, culture, technology, religion, and mythology. First years would cover the idea of evolution through to Ancient Rome. Second years would cover the fall of the Roman Empire to the Renaissance period. Third years, the Enlightenment to the Revolutions of the world. Fourth years, the Industrial age, and fifth years, the twentieth century. Sixth and seventh years who were interested in continuing their education would continue the course as outlined before with looking at Muggle artefacts and differences between the two worlds, but it would only be offered for the next three years, until the students who were already enrolled in the previous Muggle Studies course had finished school.
Birmingham thought that it was a brilliant idea and was excited to be given the opportunity to teach the new curriculum. Burbage agreed with the change and signed her contract for two more years before she agreed to leave Hogwarts in the capable hands of Birmingham. It was a curriculum unlike anything anyone had seen before and the novelty of it was very exciting.
The Life in the Magical World course was going to be taught generally by a new hire as well, a woman named Delta Carthaginian. She had been a journalist for the Italian magazine Bella Strega (Beautiful Witch) and grew up in the aristocratic pureblood world of the Italian magical society. She taught etiquette classes twice a week in Rome. She had a very impressive resumé and the Board of Governors had hired her on the spot while Sirius had been in Europe. The plan was for the course to be mandatory through to fifth year, same as Muggle Studies, and like the Muggle Studies course would focus on distinct periods of the magical world.
First years would cover the history of the aristocracy and study the idea of blood purity, where Muggleborns fit in, and why they were so vital to magical society. Second years would cover careers in the magical world and learn about the government, magical laws, and essentially how the magical world was run. Third years would cover the social aspect of the magical world including learning important manners, dances, and how to speak publicly in a way befitting the magical world. They would also cover the topic of fashion: How to dress fashionably, how fashion worked, how fashion was decided, and how witches and wizards blended into the Muggle world. Fourth years would cover the historical part of how and when the magical and Muggle worlds collided and why and how it was still kept a secret. They would compare the Ministry of Magic with other countries governments around the world discuss their laws in terms of dealing with the Muggle world. Fifth years would cover life studies: How to make a living in the magical world, how the banking system worked, how the law worked, and how to do basic household things like clean, fix problems, and cook all with magic — including what to do and what not to do. Guest speakers would come in on a regular basis to talk about certain topics or discussions. Sirius had already helped line up an Auror as well as two Ministry of Magic speakers from different departments.
For the students just starting off like Harry, who would be in his third year, the professors would be taking the first week to give a general overview to help students have an understanding of what the years below them would be learning. Sirius just hoped that it worked out, as he was incredibly proud of the work that he had put into writing the course and trying to implement it into the educational system. Nothing like this had ever been done before and he and the governors had been working staunchly hard to create the programs and to put them into place.
The last thing that he had expected was to come home after his long day and to find the house empty. He searched the house and then the treehouse, but Harry and Marauder were no where to be found. He pulled out his mirror and raised it to his mouth to call Harry.
He started to worry when there was no answer.
The barking outside made him head out the front to greet Marauder.
"Hi, boy, where's Harry? Where's Prongslet, Marauder?"
Marauder barked again and took off towards Zee's house so Sirius locked the front door behind him and followed the dog. He heard the music first, smiling as he recognized Tina Turner. He found Harry and Zee in the kitchen of Zee's cottage, their hands messy and the kitchen full of half made food and dishes. Flour was everywhere and Harry was laughing as she showed him how to knead the dough with his knuckles and tips of his fingers.
Sirius leaned against the doorjamb of the kitchen love, swamping him so hard that his heart hurt. He knew that Harry had come to accept that Zahira was part of his life, but he also knew that his son wasn't as all right with it as he had led him to believe. The fact that Harry was here, at Zee's house, and willingly spending time with her and obviously having the time of his life doing so, was the best feeling. The woman he loved was making his son laugh; making his eyes alight with joy. The boy he loved, the boy who held a part of him was looking at the woman he loved with happiness. It was more than he ever could have asked for.
Family.
The word scared him and he pushed it back down. He wasn't ready to take that step and he damn well knew Zee wasn't either. He and Harry were a team and he knew that if he ever seriously decided to consider that option that he wouldn't do so without first sitting Harry down and discussing it thoroughly with him.
And he damn well wasn't ready for that. At least not yet and that scared him too, the possibility that one day he might be. He had never imagined a life like that for himself.
He snuck into the kitchen, tiptoed up behind them and grabbed them both from behind. Zee shrieked, but Harry just bubbled up in laughter.
"What are you two troublemakers getting up to in here?" Sirius asked as Zee smacked him in the shoulder for scaring her.
He bent his head, kissing Harry's temple and then turned and kissed Zee deeply, lingering long enough to hear Harry making gagging sounds next to him. Sirius lightly smacked Harry across the head and continued to kiss her; the taste of her, the feel of her, reminding him of how much he had missed her the entire summer before he pulled away and grinned at her.
"Hi, gorgeous."
"Hi, sexy," she said with a smile. "Harry and I are doing some cooking, a lot of cooking actually. I hope you're hungry."
"Starved. I missed lunch."
Harry grinned. "Zee is teaching me how to cook like her, Uncle Sirius."
When Sirius smiled at her, she shrugged. "He asked and I was so honoured! Anyway, we couldn't decide so I figured that we'd make a ton of stuff and we can freeze it for easy dinners later on."
"It smells amazing in here, that's for sure. What are you making?"
Harry grinned. "Well, I just finished making a seven layer lasagna with ground beef and ground pork, Italian sausage and tomato slices with spinach and zucchini and seven different kinds of cheese! It was fun and hard to keep it all straight." He said making Sirius laugh. "It looks rather crooked actually, but I think that it will taste good. And then we made a thick stew with ground beef and potatoes and carrots and all sorts of other veggies. Then we roasted salmon with lemon and pepper and made chicken cordon bleu."
"That is definitely a lot of food," Sirius said, whistling as his mouth watered.
Zee smiled, her wand peeling apple slices quickly in the air. "We can freeze the lasagna and the stew. The salmon I'm going to slice up and we can use it for sandwiches tomorrow for lunch. We'll eat the chicken tonight. Harry and I are just finishing up an apple pie. Sirius, why don't you throw a salad together and I'll show Harry how to make my famous butternut squash over white rice to go with our chicken cordon bleu."
Harry simply licked his lips in response.
~ ASC ~
Dinner was fabulous and over the next week, Zee worked with Harry in the kitchen almost every night, writing down recipes and showing him how to experiment. He had a knack for it and she thought that he was a natural born chef which made him smile. He was impressed with himself as well because all of the food turned out delicious.
He enjoyed spending time with Zee. She was funny and she was smart and he liked the way that she teased Sirius. He could see why Sirius was in love with her and watching the way his godfather's face lit up when he saw her made him smile. Spending time with Zee was different than spending time with Sirius or Remus as well. She smelt nice; feminine, and she was always touching his shoulder or his arm and smiling kindly at him. He learned that she had a Muggleborn father so she had grown up in an interesting mix of both worlds due to the influence of her Muggle grandparents and it was because of her three distinct grandmothers that she had learned how to cook. She could speak fluent French, Russian, Gaelic, and Mermish which he thought was fun and he practiced his French with her, making her laugh as they spoke back and forth about his friends and about Quidditch.
Zee was a Quidditch fan, but she followed the Appleby Arrows which had made Harry groan as they debated the chasing skills of Benjamin London, Appleby's newest recruit. Harry insisted that Lexie Longhorn, the newest Chaser for Portree was gifted enough to win a match herself against all three of Appleby's Chasers — which had resulted in a much heated debate on the skills of a Chaser. Sirius had jumped in at this point to mention that Longhorn's chasing skills were no match for her sex appeal and Harry had blushed furiously, glaring at his father. But Sirius did have a point, Longhorn was gorgeous and had recently been voted Wizard Weekly's Sexiest Woman Alive. But she was an amazing Chaser.
In between the Quidditch talk, Harry learned how to cook a few different pasta dishes and different kinds of chicken dishes by mixing up spices and herbs. Zee's recipe for ribs was to die for, and when they grilled steaks with grilled potatoes and pineapple with chilli flakes, Harry's mouth watered. He told her all about his friends: About Ron's steadfast devotion to the Chudley Canons, his love of chess, and about how much he had helped him in the Forbidden Forest when they met the army of Acromantulas, despite his fear of spiders. Zee was fascinated and asked him to tell her all about them, having heard that there was a massive family of them living in Scotland. She was intrigued to learn that Hagrid had kept one of them as a pet and had raised him, found him a mate, and helped him build his family.
He told her all about Neville: His love of Herbology, his hatred and fear of Professor Snape, and how he lived with his grandmother because his parents had been tortured into insanity by Death Eaters. He told her about Hermione: How she was a Muggleborn and the smartest witch in their year — if not the whole school — and how they had only become friends after he and Ron had accidentally locked her in the girl's bathroom with a mountain troll. He told her all about Ginny: His first real friend and his worry about how Ginny was coping since she wasn't really talking to him much. Zee explained how Ginny would come around, but that she needed time to cope with what had happened to her and that being rescued by the boy she had sent a Valentine to was going to be a bit embarrassing as well. He asked her why Ginny would send him a singing Valentine in the first place when they were friends and Zee had chuckled.
"You are growing up into a handsome young man, Harry. She has eyes. I doubt that she's the only girl at school who has developed a little crush on you."
Harry had blushed at this. "But… she's my friend."
"Doesn't mean that she can't find you attractive," Zee said with a smile.
"Are we talking about Harry's sex appeal?" Sirius asked as he came into the kitchen with Remus and Tonks. "His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad and his hair as dark as a blackboard!"
Harry groaned. "I hate you."
Sirius laughed and wrapped an arm around his son's shoulders. "You and your beautiful 'freshly pickled toad eyes,' love me." He kissed Harry's cheek noisily and grinned widely. "Those steaks look amazing. Prongslet, you're turning into quite the little chef. You should give Tonks lessons."
Remus snorted and grinned at his mate. "She'd still manage to set the house on fire somehow."
Tonks elbowed him lightly. "Shut it. At least I can make brownies."
Remus licked his lips. "You make amazing chocolate brownies and I will gladly do all of the cooking if you continue to make those brownies."
Tonks grinned and kissed him before she stood up to peek around Harry, who now stood almost a head taller than her. "Seriously, Harry, it smells amazing in here. Is dinner almost ready?"
"Ten more minutes," he said, grinning at them.
~ ASC ~
When he met his friends in Diagon Alley the next week, he was eager to tell them all about his trip and to hear about their summers. They shopped for supplies, chatting amicably among themselves before they stopped in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies where the rest of the crowd was gathered.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
Ron, the tallest of the three, stood on his toes and his grin widened. "They released the newest broom model!"
They only had to wait a few moments before the crowd dispersed and they could peer through the display window. It was the most beautiful broom that Harry had ever seen as he looked at the sleek dark wooden handle bearing the word: Firebolt. The sign underneath claimed that it was the fastest broom ever made.
"It's beautiful," Harry groaned, pressing his fingers to the glass.
"I heard the British National Team will be riding them this season," Ron said. "Fastest brooms in the world!"
"Look at that handle," Harry said, pointing to the end. "See how it's curved just so? That would give it great aerodynamics. I bet it flies like a dream; probably like gliding."
Ron nodded. "Gliding and swerving without even realizing it."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "It's just a broomstick! Come on; let's go to the pet shop. Mum and Dad gave me money for my birthday to buy an owl."
"Hermione," Ron groaned. "This isn't just a broomstick! It's the mother of all broomsticks!"
Harry nodded, turning to his friend. "It's like the two most perfect broomsticks in the world got together and had a baby who grew up to be the most incredibly perfect broomstick to ever have lived!"
Hermione rolled her eyes again. "When you boys are done drooling, I'll be in the pet shop."
And she stomped off in annoyance leaving Harry and Ron to turn back to ogling the broom in the display window.
They met her in the pet shop nearly twenty minutes later and found her arms full of an ugly squished-faced ginger cat.
"I thought that you were getting an owl?" Harry asked her, eyeing her new pet apprehensively.
"I was, but the owner says that no one wants to adopt poor Crookshanks here."
Ron made to reach for some owl treats over Hermione's head and Crookshanks hissed at him and he raised an eyebrow. "Can't imagine why."
Harry smirked at him, but neither of them said anything to her as Hermione cradled her new cat in her arms and purchased the supplies that she would need to take care of him. Apparently he was part Kneazle and extremely intelligent. Harry still thought he was ugly with his squashed face, but he supposed that he was all right otherwise.
They headed to Flourish and Blotts to get their new books and supplies and then went to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour for cones to chat. Ron and Hermione filled him in on their summers and Harry asked Ron about Ginny.
"She's doing great, honestly. She's still in Egypt at the moment. Bill said that he's going to bring her home before we head to King's Cross. But she's doing great. I know that she's anxious about going back to Hogwarts, worried that everyone will act strange towards her. I told her that she'll be fine," Ron said with a smile.
"I'm glad," Harry told them.
Ron scratched his nose. "Plus, Bill and Charlie sat us all down and basically reamed us out for not keeping a better eye on her last year."
Harry's eyebrow rose at that. "It's not your fault!"
"I know and Bill and Charlie know that, too. It's just… it's the job of a big brother to take care of our younger siblings and we do feel like we failed her," Ron admitted. "All of us do."
Hermione smiled sympathetically at Ron. "I doubt that Ginny feels that way. She wrote to me to apologize and she obviously blames herself a great deal."
Ron smiled. "She's going to be all right, Hermione. Ginny's strong and trust me, she's going to bounce back. Percy, Fred, George, and I are not going to let her down this year when she needs us."
Harry grinned at him. "Weasleys stick together."
"Damn straight," Ron said with a smirk.
Hermione had opened her shopping bag and pulled out the books that she was going to need for her Life in the Magical World course. The new professor had assigned an assortment of books including: Nature's Nobility: A Wizarding Genealogy, Enchantments in Baking, Olde and Forgotten Bewitchments and Charmes, Hogwarts: A History, and An Appraisal of Magical Education in Europe.
"These all seem like a pretty random assortment of books, Harry," Hermione said, shifting through them. "Of course, I've already read though Hogwarts, A History multiple times."
Ron rolled his eyes. "Give it a break, Hermione. You'll see the class when you see the class."
Harry grinned as Sirius signalled him that it was time to go. Sirius had been having a drink at The Leaky Cauldron with Mr and Mrs Granger. Mrs Weasley had let Ron come with Harry and Sirius. "I think that it's time to leave. I'll see you guys on the first, yeah?"
Ron nodded and gave Harry a one-armed hug goodbye. Hermione hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. "Enjoy your last week of summer, Harry!"
He said goodbye to his friends, his hands full of his bags of new school supplies and new uniforms since he had outgrown last year's again. This year was going to be great he thought; new classes, Uncle Remus was still teaching, and there was nothing going on with Voldemort.
It was pretty much all he could ask for.
A normal school year and it sounded great.
~ ASC ~
Ginny sat in the same comfortable chair holding the pillow on her lap in Na'eemah's office that afternoon. She had been coming to see her three times a week now for almost two months and she had to admit — she felt better. Coming here to talk to Na'eemah made her more comfortable with herself, with what had happened and was helping with the dreams. She was coming to terms with what had happened to her.
But there was one question that Na'eemah kept asking her and Ginny still didn't have the answer. She stared at the mind healer now, her stomach churning as she once more tried to figure out how to put what she felt into words. She had told Na'eemah everything by this point. They had gone over all of her conversations with Tom: How he had chipped away at her self-confidence, how he had made her think that those she loved didn't care about her, how he tried to isolate her and make her feel as if she was alone, how he made her doubt herself and her own self worth, how he made her feel stupid and inadequate, and most of all, how he had possessed her — both in body and in soul.
Ginny had allowed Na'eemah to study her memories; to help heal the holes that still gaped there in patches. Together they viewed the memories of Ginny's time in the Chamber of Secrets — the first time that she had entered during the first week of school, speaking in Parseltongue to open the door, awakening the Basilisk and demanding it to do her bidding — and she had been alarmed to see that even though she could see herself doing these things, she didn't necessarily remember them all. Not to mention that there was a light that seemed to illuminate from the diary in her hands which Na'eemah told her was Tom's power reaching out to grab hold of her.
She watched the memory of her slitting the throats of the roosters, using a slicing spell that she had never even heard of before. She called forth the Basilisk, told him to find it's prey and she was shocked to discover that she hadn't subconsciously been attacking Muggleborns, but that the Basilisk had in fact been hunting Harry.
Tom had been fascinated by Harry Potter.
Ginny had mentioned her friend to Tom in passing as she told him about her life: About how she was the youngest of seven — the first born daughter in seven generations — and Tom had told her that it made her special and powerful. He asked about her brothers and her friends and she told him everything: About how Harry Potter was good friends with Ron and how she felt like they had drifted apart a bit when he went to Hogwarts and she stayed home, about how Harry was famous in the magical world for defeating You Know Who, and Tom had been riveted. He had wanted to know everything that she had known and Na'eemah showed her how that first moment, the moment that Tom had realized Ginny intrigued him in two specific ways: First that she was the seventh child, the first daughter in seven generations, which was power that he could draw from, and secondly, that she could help him overcome Harry Potter.
Na'eemah helped her dissect each memory. They took their time, going through them step by step and seeing how Tom used his words and his charisma to build her up and then tear her down so seamlessly that she didn't even realize he was doing it; how he pretended to be her friend, but in reality was using her and was feeding off of her. The scariest memory was watching as the diary lay next to her as she slept and an eerie magic seemed to tingle from her as the diary brightened, seemingly absorbing her magic or as Ginny realized now, feeding on her very soul.
As they broke down and dissected each memory, Ginny realized how truly close Harry had been to being killed. The problem was that with each strike, the Basilisk had trouble finding a place to come out from. The monster was searching for Harry, sniffing him out in the walls of Lockhart's office, but not finding a way in from the pipes, and then when the monster came up from the Chamber with the intent of feeding on Harry in the corridor, found Mrs Norris in its path instead. Its gaze petrified the cat and Tom panicked, calling the monster back. When Harry was in the hospital wing, the Basilisk had been almost outside the door before Colin had discovered it and Tom had once again called the monster back before Dumbledore approached. It was on its way to Harry in the Transfiguration corridor, but was stopped by Nearly Headless Nick and ultimately Justin. The monster wanted to go further, but Tom once again reeled it back. Finally, when it came out the last time; its objective had been to find Harry before he reached the Quidditch pitch, but the Basilisk had found Hermione and Penelope instead.
Na'eemah had called Bill and Charlie inside as they viewed the final dissected memory of the attacks and Ginny had hyperventilated, tears pouring down her cheeks as her brothers held her, kissing her temple, and rubbing her back. She asked them to view the memories and Charlie had spoken first.
"Why did Tom call the monster back each time? It was a huge Basilisk, why not just let it have free rein on the school? It never got to eat its victims."
Ginny had paled at this and Bill had only just conjured a bowl in time for her to vomit into.
Bill gently brushed her hair back, pinning it up above her head, rubbing her back gently. "It's okay, Firecracker, it's all right. You're being very brave."
Na'eemah smiled at the two young men. "From what I've seen, I believe that Tom considered letting the snake have free rein, as you say, but was worried about Dumbledore discovering it. He wanted the snake to kill Harry Potter, but he also didn't want to lose the power that he possessed by controlling the monster. And he wasn't in complete control, not entirely."
Bill's eyebrow rose in question as Ginny leaned back against him, her eyes closed. "What do you mean by 'he wasn't in complete control?' What was stopping him from having the Basilisk attack the school?"
"Ginny," Charlie said, grinning. "She fought him."
Na'eemah smiled and nodded. "Every step of the way. Ginny, I said it the first day we met. You are a powerful young girl. That diary possessed you, fed off your soul, and yet you still had the power to say no! You did not let him take total control of you. You managed to break free — to be yourself. I know that it doesn't feel like it, but you did have some control."
Bill stared at Na'eemah for a moment. "I've been studying possession for the last month, specifically in terms of cursed objects. This was no ordinary possession."
"No, it wasn't." She reached into the folder on the table and removed a letter there. "I received this last month from a man named Lord Sirius Black, I believe that he is a friend of the family?" At Bill's nod, she smiled. "He told me that he believes the diary was a Horcrux."
Bill paled. "It was a piece of You Know Who's soul?"
Charlie stared at his older brother, his eyes wide. "What the fuck does that even mean?"
Ginny was staring between her two brothers, eyes wide. "I don't understand."
Na'eemah smiled at Ginny. "I asked my husband about the term as it was new to me. Daniel informed me that that a Horcrux is one of the darkest forms of magic. It is a piece of one's soul that is placed inside of an object to prevent them from dying. To create one it entails the murder of another human being. Lord Black has written that he believes the diary was an early form of a Horcrux that was created by You Know Who, which is what ultimately made it so powerful."
"You mean it wasn't just feeding on my soul but… I had the soul of Tom inside of me?" Ginny asked, her eyes wide with horror.
Na'eemah let out a slow breath. "My understanding of this form of dark magic is not by any means top notch, but yes that's exactly what happened. Ginny, you were possessed by this diary, but you did not let it control you. In other words, imagine someone placed you under the Imperius Curse — a dark curse that allows another witch or wizard to control you — and they told you to jump out this window. You move to the window and you realize that's dumb, if you jump you'll die, so you refuse. So someone comes along on the other side of you and places the Imperius Curse on you again and once more instructs you to jump out the window. You move a little closer, but again you think, no, I don't want to do this. So once again, someone comes over and places the Imperius Curse on you and this time, you are bound and you do jump, but you catch yourself on the ledge and you hang there, questioning how to save yourself. Your will to live is stronger than your will to obey so you climb back inside. That is what you did on a daily basis, Ginny. You fought with every moment of every day to live as you and those moments, those black spots on your memory where you couldn't remember what you had done, those were the moments when you had been Imperiused more than three times. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Ginny nodded slowly. "My soul was stronger than his."
Charlie grinned and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. "You are a warrior princess goddess."
Ginny rested her head against Charlie's chest. "So now that we know what it was and what was happening to me… now what?"
Na'eemah smiled kindly at her. "Now we go back and try to find the answers to those first few questions, Ginny."
That had been two weeks ago.
Now, Ginny sat in Na'eemah's office and she still didn't have the answers. Her family had returned to the Burrow last week and Charlie had returned to Romania the day before. Bill and Charlie had promised to keep her memories mostly a secret from her parents until she was ready to share it and she was grateful to them for that, grateful that she had trusted them to see the memories with her. She stared at the mind healer, her own mind racing.
"I don't know," she said softly. "When I looked at him and he was solid… he was corporeal I… I didn't see my friend, I was scared."
"Why were you scared? What had changed from the Tom you knew?"
Ginny swallowed slowly. "Everything… I was in the Chamber of Secrets and he… he came out of the diary. It was at that moment that I knew that I had been wrong; I knew that Tom had never been my friend, and I knew without a doubt that it was dark magic… and that it was all my fault."
"He struck you," Na'eemah said, urging her to continue.
"Slapped me so hard that I almost fell over. Sometimes I think that I can still feel the sting of it on my cheek," she said softly.
"He ripped your robes."
Ginny nodded. "He ripped them open and… my blouse and he shoved his hand up my skirt."
"How did that make you feel, Ginny? This man was your friend. You had trusted him and now he was hurting you."
"I was just… surprised," she admitted. "I didn't know how to react. He touched me and… I knew that it was wrong and I wanted to ask him why; I wanted to know why he would want to make me feel like that."
"How did you feel?"
"Dirty," she said quietly. "Ashamed."
Na'eemah nodded. "But you didn't do anything wrong so, why should you feel ashamed and dirty, when he was the one who should?"
"Because I didn't stop him," she whispered. "When he picked up that bone and he… the pain was immense, but it wasn't the pain that made me cry and scream, not really… it was him."
"Tom?"
"I had trusted him," she whispered. "And he had promised to be my friend."
"And that's what hurt you? His betrayal?"
Ginny stared at her for a long moment. Was it the fact that he had betrayed her? It did bother her, as she had trusted him, but she didn't think that was it entirely. She simply stared at her hands for almost two full minutes and then her eyes locked on the healer's.
"He betrayed me and that hurt, yes, but it wasn't quite that. It was that… I let him."
"Ginny," Na'eemah said softly. "He overpowered you. He had your wand. How did you let it happen?"
"He… the more I screamed and the more I struggled, he seemed to like it so I stopped. I stopped screaming and I stopped struggling. It made him more angry but… I just let him."
"No — you fought him."
Tears poured down her cheeks and she closed her eyes. "It doesn't feel like I fought him. It feels like I just gave up."
"Tom was enjoying inflicting pain upon you. He had revelled in your emotional pain for months and now having gained corporeal form, he was able to cause physical pain. The more you struggled and screamed, the more excited he became. The more he relished in what he could do to you. The moment that you stopped giving him what he wanted, that's when you fought back. You couldn't physically overcome him, Ginny. You didn't have that power, but you could make him angry by not giving him what he wanted and you did. You had the power there."
"When he finished… on me… I wanted to die. I remember thinking that if I just… end it, everything would be okay. That no one would ever know what I had done and that it would all be over."
Na'eemah nodded. "When you came to and found Harry hovering after saving your life, did you contemplate taking your own life again?"
Ginny shook her head. "Never. After everything that Harry did for me, what Ron did for me… I would never throw my life away like that."
"But that moment, after Tom had raped you, you wanted to die?"
"I just wanted it to be over. I had trusted him and he failed me and… I felt like I had failed him."
Na'eemah smiled, kindly. "And that is what we need to talk about. You did not fail him. He used you. He abused you. He hurt you. You fought him and you survived."
Ginny smiled back at her. "I survived."
"And how does that make you feel knowing that you survived?"
"Strong," Ginny said softly. "I feel strong and I want to be me again, whoever that may be. I want to find out."
Na'eemah grinned. "And you will."