everything been a bit crazy - and if you read my other pic you may have some idea.
I cannot explain everything but I just had no focus for anything other than work - and ive spoken to many people about this...
again im really sorry but I got the small bug for this again and ive recently moved work and across the country and got an even crazier job so updates may still be sporadic till I get my head in order. THANK YOU for sticking around and still liking this fic. it truly means the world - so here's a 2.5k chapter for y'all to tide yous over - I think I have a plan for the next but will see how life works out. LOVE YOU GUYS ENDLESSLEY Vx
Will had had enough. He had never trusted Sam. Jay and he had met when he was going through a rough time, and instead of waiting until he had sorted himself out before pursuing anything, Sam had swooped in on that fateful night and here he had stayed. Will didn't believe Sam was in it for the right reasons, he had always had this underlying feeling of distrust toward the man, but he hadn't really noticed anything or paid attention to this feeling until Stella had pointed something out.
And now he hadn't seen or heard from his brother in three days.
After leaving Voight's office, Will had a renewed sense of anger for the man and fear for his brother.
Which only grew when more and more of his calls went unanswered. He couldn't do this anymore, stay away and hope that his brother was okay. Jay's his little brother, he had to go over there. God only knows what he was getting up to at this point, Will knew his PTSD was probably activated and well on its way with all the usual side effects, add in his usual coping mechanisms and well, they were in for a fun fight.
He didn't know what he expected when he knocked on the apartment door but that was not it.
Jay looked like shit, his eyes were red but circled in dark purple bruises - the usual indicator of little sleep and nightmares. He had rushed out in jeans and no shirt so the bruises across his hips, neck and a small bruise on his cheek bone were free to witness. He had not reacted, obviously wanting to play oblivious in order for Voight, Mouse and the team to be able to form a plan.
Driving away from the apartment, Will felt sick. He had seen the signs, just hadn't put them all together. But now since his chat with Voight and seeing his little brother quickly spiralling back down, he wanted to drag him out of that apartment and take him home, wrap him in a few blankets and just hold his little brother tight, as if that would put him back together.
Buzzing from his pocket brought him out of his head, quickly answering once he read the caller ID.
"Mouse, hey bud you okay?"
"Will, finally!" a tired voice called through the phone, "how far out are you? I've just got out of baggage claim. Where did we say to meet again?"
"What?" Will grunted out, mind drawing a blank.
"You forgot?" Mouse chuckled back.
"Oh fuck!" Mouse was arriving today to surprise Jay. "Dude, I'm so sorry! I'm on my way now, I'll pull into a taxi rank, you remember the plate? Just meet me outside."
"That's okay you just owe me a beer, I'll see you soon."
"Yeah okay. I'll be like 20 minutes"
They said their goodbyes and clicked off the call. Will had been so up in arms this past day with the bombs dropped on him by Voight and then the confrontation with Sam that Mouse landing today had completely slipped his mind.
Making a quick U-turn, Will sped through minimal traffic and actually managed to make it to the airport in reasonable time, seeing Mouse waiting so pulling up just in front of him before climbing out to help him with his bags and climbing back into the car before pulling away again.
"Want to tell me what's got you so spacey tonight?" Mouse broke the silence after about 5 minutes of driving.
"I think it's probably best to wait till you're not in a moving car to be honest."
Mouse just hummed in response.
"Do I need to call Voight? Let him in on the plan to arrive at the district tomorrow so I don't get pinned?"
Will tensed at the question, which didn't go unnoticed by Mouse.
"What was that?"
"What was what?"
"Will you've always been shit at lying when it's important, so what's up with Voight? Everyone okay? Are they in the middle of a case? Anyone hurt?" Mouse was starting to get panicked now, frantically rambling out questions and anxiously wringing his hands.
"Hey, hey no none of that. I'll tell you when we get back to mine, we can ring Voight from there." Will said a lot calmer, voice soft to keep Mouse from panicking further.
They sat in silence for the rest of the journey and stayed silent until they had arrived in Will's living room.
"Okay spill," he said, dropping his bags by the door.
"Sit down," Will started.
"Will-"
"Mouse."
Scoffing, Mouse did as told, looking over at Will expectantly.
"We think somethings up with Jay. Me and Voight that is."
Mouse gestured for him to keep going, sensing he was holding back.
"Well, um… he-"
"Will. Come on, it's me, it's Jay. What's going on?"
"We think Sam is abusing him and that he's back on oxy." Will rushed out, trying to hold back tears, not having said it out loud yet.
"What the fuck." was all he could think to say. "Jay wouldn't - he knows he can ta- what - how?" so many questions, none of them coming out fully, shock taking hold.
"Voight's noticed a few changes in Jay recently, Kidd noticed something the other night when we were in Mollys, a case went sideways three days ago and no one has heard from him since and I was just at their apartment before you called and I uh saw a few things. All the pieces add up but we don't know what to do."
"Does he know I'm here?"
"No."
"Right," Mouse nodded to himself, going to stand "where's their apartment again?"
"Woah, hey Mouse! Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't. Okay we need a solid plan here we can't just barge in there - you know Jay. He'll cover this up or act like nothing is wrong and shut us out, we can't let that happen this time. Okay? I think it's gonna be really bad and hard to pull him out of it this time. I don't know what to do man but we can't have him pull away, okay? I can't do that again." Will blurts out, tears now falling.
Mouse was stunned, seeing Will break like this wasn't something new, but it had been a while and they had never had to face this.
"Hey. Hey Will, shh it's okay." he walked over to Will, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder to try and ground him. "We'll sort this out okay. We're gonna get him back and we're gonna hold him and help him through this. Like last time, and the time before that. Alright?"
"Yeah okay." Will said around a sigh.
The boys decided to call Voight in the morning, let everyone and everything settle for the night, knowing going forward with a fresh mind would be best.
"So what's the plan?" Mouse says as soon as the door is opened to Vioght.
"Let him in first maybe?" Will laughs.
"Hello to you too Mouse, good to have you back." Voight let out a low chuckle - finding he had missed the young man's antics.
The three men walked through the house to the lounge - offers of coffee gone dismissed - everyone just wanting to work out what was wrong.
"Okay so I think we all know we need him out of the apartment asap. I don't want him knowing you're back yet Mouse… I think we need to think tactically about this. How many times has he gotten away with this before? Even before Sam? Numerous. Okay, so we need a solid plan."
Voight started - the other two nodding along.
Mouse spoke up "what if you called him in, Sarge? It's in his nature to follow orders - especially if he's in the mindspace I think he's in. So if we need him out of the apartment - call him into work, tell him we've got a case - anything but get him to your office and talk to him. Get a rundown of how he's looking so we know what we're dealing with."
Will and Voight shared a look.
"Sounds good kid, I'll call him later on saying I need him back in the station in the morning."
"Then what?" Will said, still sounding stressed and panicked.
"Honestly…" Mouse sighed "I don't know this time - I've dealt with the PTS, the nightmares, the initial wake up from the hospital. I've dealt with the benders and everything else." he had to take a pause "but I - I've never dealt with this before, never had to deal with someone who is supposed to love him, hurt him and facilitate a relapse."
Mouse found himself seething in anger and worry - Will noticed this and gently put a hand on his arm, squeezing to let him know he's not alone in this.
"It's ok. We got this and we got him." Voight stated.
Yeah we do, they all thought to themselves.
Voight made his way into the office later that day, knowing it would be best to call from there and decided to get him in straight away - not wait till the next day where he has time to sort himself out.
He just hoped that he had his phone on him.
He rang three times before someone finally picked up.
"Sarge?" Jay's voice cut through the phone, he sounded croaky and a mix of surprised and scared.
"Get into work. Now."
"Sarge I - what's going on?"
"Now Jay." he barked through the phone. Tough love was the way forward.
"Copy" Jay replied with a slight whimper "I'll be there in 30."
Voight huffed and hung up. He now needed to plan what to say and how he wanted to play this. That also depended on how Jay looked when he showed up. He sat back and started to go through this week's reports to keep himself busy before he made a coffee ready for Jay to get in.
Jay on the other hand was rushing around his room trying and failing at hiding his panic. He heard Sam sit up and could feel the eyes burning a hole in his back as he tried to find something clean to wear that would cover the bruises lining his neck. He was going to struggle to cover the one on his face so would need to think up a good cover for the cheekbone and purple bags under his eyes.
"Where are you going?" Sam grumbled from the bed.
"Voight called me in. I have to go." Jay meekly replied - not turning around to look at him.
"What does he want?"
"I don't know, he didn't say."
"Do you have to go?"
"Yes Sam, it's my job, he's my boss." Jay sighed out.
"When will you be back?"
"I don't know."
"Jay."
"Sam."
The two men seemed to be in a face off at this point.
Jay looked away first, going back to pulling out a hoodie from the drawer and clipping his badge onto his belt.
"Do you want something before you go?" Sam asked with a small smirk. "You can't go in when withdrawal is going to kick in or looking hungover so I think you should have something to tide you over."
Jay tried to hold back a sigh – knowing it would be worse for him when he got home if he did.
"Sam I can't" he tried to plead.
"Just half a dose – you'll be fine. It'll stop the shakes and the panicking."
Jay gave in – feeling the pull, ache and need in his chest. "Fine half a dose."
Sam full on grinned now, knowing he had won this one. He leant over to his bedside cabinet and pulled the pill bottle out, tipping a single white pill into his hand and held it out to Jay. Not moving so that he had to come over and get it.
As he thought – Jay walked around the side of the bed and went to take the pill out of his hand but before he could take it, he closed his fist over it and looked up at the other man.
"Do you love me?"
Jay was surprised, "yeah of course." He replied absent minded.
"Tell me"
Jays heart sank – he knew what this meant for him.
"I love you Sam."
"Good boy. Here's your reward."
Jay thought that if he could, he would have heard his heart stop beating. How had he sunk so low so fast again. He took the pill out of his hand and went to walk out of the room.
"Here I've got a glass of water here you can use."
Shit, Jay thought, almost got away without.
"thanks" he took the glass and the pill and downed them both.
"Okay I really have to go now," he said trying to pull away before Sam's hand clasped around his wrist.
"Don't be too late." He said with a look and tone Jay couldn't help but shiver at. He tried to pull away again, only to be pulled onto the bed and into a searing kiss. Sam's hands were tight on his wrist and his jaw – a finger digging into the bruise on his cheek – reminding him of where he stood. Finally pulling away, Jay tried his hardest to not wipe a hand across his mouth and backed away from the bed.
"I'll see you later"
"Good." Was all he got back.
Shit. Shit. Shit. He thought, rushing out of the house and to his car. He jumped straight in and drove away from their street, not stopping till he knew he wouldn't be seen from their windows.
He pulled the visor down and tried to fix his hair, quickly scrubbing his lips and trying the quell the rising panic attack that was about to come.
He shouldn't be driving like this – he shouldn't be going to work or to see his boss like this, half strung out, half high.
God what am I doing he once again thought to himself.
"FUCK" he shouted out at the steering wheel, hands hitting down on it repeatedly.
He had to take another 5 minutes to calm down again and to force himself to breathe normally, knowing Voight would see the distress signals a million miles off.
Sighing and refixing his hair and jumper he continued driving, waiting for the pill to kick in.
He had no idea what was about to happen so he had no way of preparing so he just had to sit and hope that the pill would do what Sam said it would and what he remembered it could do.
He pulled into the lot at the back of the district, taking another steadying breath. He made sure his badge was on his belt, along with his gun – ready to hand both over should this meeting go south.
He realised he had wasted too much time now and was well over the half hour marker he had set for himself to Voight.
Well, it's now or never. Come on Halstead just walk in.
One more breath and then he opened the door – no going back now.
also chicago pd... we need to have words - what the ever living fuck is going on?! JESSE my heart 3 nice to see him on set still and very much excited for his directing episode!I shall leave yous alone for now xoxoxoxox