Here's the latest chapter. I hope you'll find it funny. I enjoyed writing it, but sometimes I feel like I've got a misplaced sense of humor.

Thanks to Raiseth (on SV) and Volossya (on AO3) for beta-reading this for me. Much obliged, both of you!

The Matchmaker

Months had passed, but Keith and Sienna had not yet fallen in love with each other, much to Katarina's frustration. She firmly believed that they would be an excellent match: someday, Keith would be the next Duke Claes, one of the most powerful and influential men in Sorcier, but there would always be those who scorned him and plotted against him because of his illegitimate birth, even though he had been legitimized by King Robert himself. However, a marriage between him and Sienna, the daughter of an old and distinguished noble family who were the Claes family's sworn bannermen, would go a long way towards shoring up his position. Also, Sienna was growing up to be a lovely young woman, sweet and demure and refined. Any man would be lucky to be married to her! On the other hand, unless Sienna caught the eye of one of the princes, it was impossible for her to make a more prestigious marriage match than with a future duke. Besides, Keith was a kind and considerate boy who was becoming a fine young man and would surely treat his future wife with the exquisite care she deserved. Yes, in Katarina's mind, they were the perfect couple and she hoped that they would soon come to love each other very much. Nevertheless, although she hatched elaborate plans to push them closer together, so far her schemes had come to naught. And she was getting impatient.

Almost every day, weather permitting, they played together in the grounds of Claes Manor. This was usually later on in the afternoon, after they had finished their lessons. Because Keith was being given extra lessons in diplomacy, statecraft, and military strategy, all of which were supposed to prepare him for his future career as one of Sorcier's preeminent noblemen, he had less free time than either Katarina or Sienna did, so he was often unable to join them. Katarina enjoyed spending time with her best friend, but she was frustrated that Sienna seemed much happier when it was just the two of them; she was never more than cautiously polite and guardedly amiable when Keith was with them. It was always as if she was holding something back, afraid to speak her mind. Katarina dared to hope that this was because Sienna was attracted to Keith but just too shy to admit it.

Of course, before they could play, they had to make sure that the grounds were safe for Sienna to be in, meaning that there were no poisonous plants or dangerous animals lurking about – and, if any were found, they were summarily dealt with. This was a daily ritual that Keith seemed to have accepted as one of his new sister's many endearing eccentricities.

Occasionally, they played ball games, or tried to draw or paint the magnificent vistas surrounding the Claes Manor, but more often than not, Katarina was able to persuade Keith and Sienna to play games of make-believe, in which they would act out the roles of two characters who were destined to fall in love with one another. But they didn't seem to realize that, after they'd traveled halfway across the world, defeated the snarks and grumkins, and slain the evil sorcerer in his castle of frightful illusions, they were supposed to kiss!

"And so, the world was saved," she droned. "They all lived happily ever after. And so on and so forth."

"You seem unhappy," said Keith, shooting a cautious glance at her. "What's the matter?"

"I just wanted, um… a more dramatic ending," she muttered.

"How?" asked Keith.

Katarina gave a helpless shrug. "Perhaps you and Sienna could proclaim your love for each other." They both looked questioningly at her, so she hastened to explain: "I mean, the story doesn't make much sense otherwise. You were saved by the power of true love, so…"

"Well, that's because we keep our love bottled up inside and never show it to anyone," said Sienna. A wistful smile played about her lips, for a moment. "I think that's in-keeping with the roles we've played so far, don't you?"

"I would hope that you could be a little more demonstrative now that all obstacles in the way of your love have been removed," said Katarina.

She was surprised when Sienna burst out laughing for no reason at all; she hadn't realized that her best friend was in such a silly, giggly mood.

Awkwardly, Keith looked at Sienna and stammered, "I… I… I love you. Let's get married and live happily ever after."

"That wasn't very convincing," Katarina chided him. "Say it with enthusiasm!"

"Um… I love you," said Keith, helplessly, eyes downcast.

Sienna took a deep breath, put on a radiant smile, and said, "I love you so much. You mean the world to me. I wish I could stay with you forever."

"That was very good, Sienna," Katarina congratulated her. "But next time, look at Keith when you say it, not at me, all right?"

The smile dimmed somewhat, but Sienna nodded. "Very well."

"And then you could… kiss," said Katarina, finally plucking up the courage to say it.

They both blinked, put on shocked expressions, glanced at each other, and then…

"I… I... I don't want to kiss Sienna!" Keith gabbled. "That… that could ruin her reputation!"

Sienna shook her head. "I don't want to kiss Keith either."

"No one would know," said Katarina, in her most seductive tone of voice. "No one's watching. And anyway, it's just a game."

"There's always someone watching," said Sienna, glancing around suspiciously. Then, she sighed, lowered her head, and mumbled, "Under the circumstances, that's probably a good thing."

Keith looked mildly confused at that, but he nodded his agreement anyway.

"It's just a game," said Katarina, somewhat defensively. "It doesn't mean anything. Not really."

"Even if it's just a game – even if it doesn't mean anything to you, me, or Sienna – anyone who saw us could misunderstand," said Keith. "And probably would."

Then, Katarina had a brilliant idea. There was nothing wrong or offensive or potentially reputation-ruining about a brother and sister exchanging affectionate kisses, so she would kiss Keith in Sienna's place, in much the same way that she had been acting as a stand-in for all the other characters in their game of make-believe. After that, she would kiss Sienna – because it was perfectly normal and expected for a young girl to kiss her best friend, wasn't it? – thus transferring Keith's kiss to her. Back and forth she would go, kissing each of them in turn, as their go-between. As she explained this plan, she compared it to the old tradition of noble families having a food taster to check their meals for poison before they began to eat.

"I will be your 'kiss taster'," she said, after a lengthy and convoluted explanation as to why this made sense.

Dumbfounded, Keith and Sienna stared at her in open-mouthed astonishment. They both seemed to forget their earlier objections to the idea of kissing each other, for which Katarina was glad, but she became increasingly apprehensive as the silence grew and spread, until it seemed as if even the insects and birds in the trees nearby were alarmed by what she had just suggested.

"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked, almost pleadingly. "Don't you like that idea?"

"Y-you want to kiss me?" asked Sienna, in a strangled voice.

"As part of the game," Katarina hastened to reassure her. "No more than that."

"Oh… all right," said Sienna, blushing and lowering her gaze as if discomforted.

"We don't have to if you don't want to," said Katarina. "I just thought it would make our games more interesting."

"Um. That's certainly true," said Sienna.

"Well, I think it's a great idea!" cried Keith. Katarina was bemused by his sudden enthusiasm. "When would you like to start?"

"Maybe next time," she replied, looking up at the blood-orange sunset. "It's getting late; we've finished the game and it would make no sense to restart it now. Besides, I'm not in the mood." And, by this time, her courage had deserted her.

"Ah. I see," said Keith. "Well, in that case, we could… stay here and watch the sunset together? It really is a beautiful evening!"

It was an awkward change of subject, but Katarina was glad of it. She gave him a grateful smile and said, "Yes, let's."

The next day, while her father was giving Keith lessons on how to be a good duke, Katarina went for a walk with Sienna. They didn't go far – just along the path that led around the grounds of the Claes manor, taking in picturesque views of the gardens, an ornamental pond, and a grove of fruit trees – but it gave them a chance to talk in relative privacy. At least, that was Katarina's intention. Sienna seemed content for the two of them to walk together, holding hands and enjoying each other's company, but Katarina wanted more than that: she wanted to prepare Sienna for the glorious future she would have when she was Keith's wife.

"Obviously, if we live through the next few years, we will need to get married," she said, hinting as baldly as she dared.

A moment later, Sienna was choking and spluttering for breath. She tottered off to one side and would have stumbled into the bushes if Katarina hadn't been holding on tightly to her. Terrified of what might happen if Sienna toppled over and banged her head against something, Katarina pulled her closer and wrapped her arms around her.

"I won't let you fall!" she vowed, clasping her dearest friend to her bosom.

"Mmm. My Katarina," said Sienna, gazing up at her with a dreamy expression in her eyes. "So brave and strong…"

Fear had given Katarina more strength than she was aware that she possessed, but Sienna was a thin and petite young lady, so catching her before she could fall was hardly a great feat of muscular might. "I just don't want you to get hurt," she muttered, embarrassed to be praised when she didn't deserve it.

Sienna blinked. She looked crestfallen, for some reason. Then, she began to laugh. It was an unpleasant sound: harsh and hoarse, edged with hysteria and despair, as if she was restraining herself from weeping. Distressed by the noise, Katarina hugged her even tighter, trying to comfort her.

After a few moments, Sienna's eyes grew wide and panicked. "Oof. Can't breathe," she wheezed.

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" Katarina cried, hastily loosening her grip.

Gratefully gasping for breath, Sienna seemed to relax, making no attempt to extricate herself from where she was nestled in Katarina's arms. "You know, a few moments ago… I thought you were asking me to marry you," she said, putting on a semblance of a smile. "A lovely idea, but I don't think it'd be allowed."

"Oh, you are so silly!" cried Katarina, laughing merrily. "No, I meant that we'll both have to find husbands before long."

"Why bother? I'm sure our parents already have plans for us. If we survive the next few years, that is."

"I don't know what will happen to us. But let's not be so worried about dying that we forget how to live. Let's enjoy life while we can!"

"Believe me, I intend to," said Sienna, craning her neck so that she could plant a soft kiss on Katarina's cheek. "You… you are my dearest friend, b-but I… I want more than that." Her voice quivered and grew squeakier as she spoke, as if she had drained her courage down to the dregs.

Katarina wasted no time wondering why Sienna's voice was filled with fear. Instead, she eagerly seized upon this opportunity to advance her plans: "You may get your wish, if I have my way," she said in a conspiratorial voice. "What do you think of Keith?"

Sienna looked bemused at this seeming non-sequitur. "He's nice," she said cautiously.

"Of course, he will need a good wife when he grows up."

"Yes, of course."

"I think you would make a good wife for him," said Katarina, who was getting increasingly frustrated with Sienna's inability to take a hint. "If you were to marry him, we would be like sisters!"

"But… your parents would never allow it," Sienna pointed out. "My family is neither wealthy nor prestigious enough that I would be a suitable match for the son of a duke."

"My father has adopted Keith, but there will always be those who sneer at him for his illegitimate birth, or say that he shouldn't be the next Duke Claes, or try to overthrow him, no matter that his adoption was approved by King Robert himself," said Katarina. "However, if he were to marry the daughter of one of the Claes family's principal bannermen, all of the other bannermen would fall into line. Then, it wouldn't matter if he still had a few critics sneering at him; he'll be one of the most powerful noblemen in the Kingdom of Sorcier, so I'm sure that the majority of people will try to curry favor with him, never mind the circumstances of his birth. And, when you're married to him, you'll be one of the most powerful noblewomen in Sorcier!"

Sienna did not look as delighted by that plan as Katarina had hoped she might be. "I've never felt attracted to any man," she mumbled. "Perhaps I'd like to have children of my own, someday, but… I don't know."

"I understand: you're young and you don't want to get married yet. But it's never too early to think about the future," said Katarina, echoing words she'd heard on numerous occasions from the adults in her life. "Please believe me, I only want you to be happy and safe. It's just that I think this could be a great opportunity for you – and I'd hate for you to miss it!"

Warily, Sienna got to her feet at last, extricated herself from Katarina's grasp, and took a few hesitant steps forward. "So… Keith and me," she muttered. "You really think that we could make it work?"

"I'm sure you could," said Katarina, skipping over to where Sienna was standing and planting an affectionate kiss on her cheek. "And, just think: you and I will be sisters-in-law! We'll have every excuse to spend time together!"

Turning crimson with embarrassment, Sienna was unable to speak for several moments; she could only mutter the words 'every excuse' as if they had special significance for her.

Then, in a small, hopeful voice, she said, "I… I'm sure that while Keith is busy with matters of rulership, diplomacy and… uh, hunting trips and so on, you and I… we can be together. We'll have plenty of time to ourselves."

"I look forward to it!" Katarina enthused. "Your friendship is very precious to me, my dear Sienna."

Sienna smiled weakly back at her. "How can we get Keith to agree to this?" she asked, pointing out a potential flaw in the plan, as if she were poking a wobbly tooth.

"Leave him to me," said Katarina. "I'm sure I can convince him."

Sienna did not look at all reassured by this, but she nodded her assent. "Very well."

They continued to walk together through the grounds, hand in hand, just as they had done before. No one looking at her would have realized it, but Katarina's mind was racing, already plotting her next move.

When Katarina broached the subject of marriage with Keith, he looked rather hopeful, which she thought was an encouraging sign.

"But aren't you already betrothed to someone?" he asked.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about me." Ushering her faithful lady-in-waiting forward, Katarina announced, "I think Sienna would make a wonderful wife for you!"

Keith looked rather perplexed. "Uh, I suppose it's possible," he murmured. "But… does she want to marry me?"

"Of course!" cried Katarina. "Why wouldn't she?"

Instead of accepting her word, Keith turned to her companion and asked, "Miss Sienna, how do you feel about this? I… I know that you care deeply about what Lady Katarina wants, but what do you want?"

Sienna's face was a battlefield upon which different emotions struggled for overall control. "I… um… Lady Katarina explained to me why it was a good idea," she whispered. "I need a husband; you need a wife. If you marry me, when you become the next Duke Claes, it will placate some of your vassals and make it harder for the others to rebel against you. And…"

Her voice trailed off into silence. Keith waited patiently for her to continue; he only spoke again when it was clear that she would not. In calm, measured tones, he said, "I appreciate that there are well-founded reasons for why a marriage alliance between our two families would benefit the two of us. But is it what you really want?"

At that moment, Katarina was surprised by how Keith was acting. Unlike the timid, easily-led boy she had come to know, he seemed sharp, purposeful, and resolute. It was as if she were being given a glimpse of the man he would one day become. She very much liked what she saw. In fact, she felt rather hot and spent the next few moments fanning herself.

"I… I don't… I don't know," Sienna admitted, at last.

"Is it possible that you could ever love me as much as you love Lady Katarina?" asked Keith, with a teasing grin.

Sienna buried her face in her hands, blushing furiously.

"Don't tease her like that!" cried Katarina, leaping to her defense and angrily remonstrating with Keith. "Of course she loves me: she's my best friend! But it's not the same kind of love as that of a husband and wife!"

Keith looked doubtful. "Uh, are you sure about that?"

"You shouldn't tease her! She's very sensitive!"

"Very well," said Keith, taking a step back and looking worried when it seemed as if Katarina was about to thump him. "It was wrong of me to make light of what is obviously a very sensitive subject. I apologize to you both."

"That's better."

"I'm, uh… puzzled about one thing," said Keith, speaking slowly and tentatively. "You've been trying to push Sienna and me together for some time, haven't you? But why are you doing this? What do you get out of it?"

"I want both of you…" Katarina hesitated, unsure of what she was trying to say. After a few moments, she finished, "To be happy."

"You want both of us?" asked Sienna, sounding scandalized. Her eyes went as wide as the moon in the sky.

"Don't get too excited," Keith warned her. "I'm sure she meant…" He sighed, shook his head, and focused his attention on Katarina. "You want us to be happy. I'm grateful for that. But what made you think that we wouldn't be happy without your interference? Why did you need to do any of this?"

Tears sprang to Katarina's eyes. She was terrified that Keith would hate her for manipulating him. And then Sienna would hate her as well. "I… I want you both to be happy. I w-want you to take care of each other." She barely managed to force the words past the lump in her throat. "Because I… I might not be around for much longer."

"I beg your pardon?! What do you mean by that?" asked Keith, in consternation. "Are you ill?"

"I shouldn't have said that," Katarina murmured. "I'm sorry."

"What makes you think that you 'might not be around for much longer'?" Keith tried again.

For a second time, Katarina refused to look at him or to give him a straight answer. "Please… forget I said anything."

"Please tell me!" Keith beseeched her. "Why might you 'not be around for much longer'?"

There was silence while Katarina tried to think of a convincing lie that would keep him satisfied for the time being.

"I think you should tell him the truth," said Sienna, in a quiet voice that nevertheless startled Katarina out of her scheming reverie, making her look around guiltily. "It will only hurt him if you don't. And anyway, it's not like he couldn't find out the truth by asking someone else: your father, perhaps. Or one of the servants."

"Um, I don't think the servants know…"

"There were several, um… guards in the room with us when you told your father," Sienna reminded her. "I'd like to think they've kept it to themselves, but I think it's more likely that our misadventures have become the subject of gossip."

"Very well," said Katarina, taking a deep breath. "My dear Keith, I didn't want to tell you this, but… some years ago, I dragged Sienna and Anne – my personal maid, you know – along with me to see an old wise woman in a nearby town. The old wise woman – Maggy the Frog was her name – was not pleased to see us, not when I woke her up and demanded that she tell our fortunes. She prophesied that Sienna would die soon, that Anne would be married to a horrible man, and that I… I would be killed by the man I…"

"By Prince Jeord," Sienna finished for her. Katarina gave her a grateful nod.

Keith was horrified. "The man you're betrothed to?!"

"Um, yes." Again, Katarina nodded.

There was a pause. Then, Keith began to stride down the path towards the main gate.

"What are you doing?" asked Katarina, jogging to keep up with him.

"I'm going to kill him," said Keith, continuing down the path, as if he were intent on walking all the way to King's Landing and murdering Prince Jeord as soon as he possibly could.

"Oh, Keith, you mustn't!" cried Katarina, grabbing his arm and trying to hold him back. "Please don't!"

"Why not?" asked Keith, coming to an abrupt halt. "If I kill him, you'll be safe."

"But you'll be executed or sent to the Wall," said Katarina, as fresh tears poured down her face. "I couldn't bear it if that happened."

"I'll make it look like an accident," Keith promised her.

"D-don't you think that you'll be a suspect if Prince Jeord dies in a landslide or from a rock dropping on his head?" asked Sienna. "Especially if you just happen to be in the area for no good reason."

"I won't do that. I'll collapse a building on top of him," said Keith.

"And… what if he doesn't die?" Sienna persisted. "What if he miraculously survives but someone he loves – maybe his mother or one of his brothers – is killed in his stead? What if he discovers that you were responsible and decides that the best way to take revenge is by killing your beloved sister? What if that's what Maggy the Frog saw when she looked into the future and told our fortunes? What then, Keith?"

"Oh…" Keith hesitated. "Hmm. I see. You've clearly spent a lot of time thinking about this. Maybe… maybe I won't kill Prince Jeord."

"Anyway, he comes here to see his betrothed often enough," Sienna added. "If you want to kill him… well, the roads in these lands can be very dangerous, if you know what I mean."

"Sienna, that's horrible!" Katarina stared at her best friend, aghast. "Shame on you!"

"I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" wailed Sienna.

She looked so panicked and woebegone that Katarina immediately relented: "Well, all right. Just don't say such horrible things from now on. You're better than that."

Keith frowned. "Wait… if the prophecy said that Sienna would die soon, why do you want me to marry her?"

"On the day that Maggy the Frog made that prophecy – and for several days afterwards – Sienna had dozens of accidents that came very close to killing her," said Katarina. "She would have died if I hadn't saved her. And my father saved her, and so did Anne, and so did some of the other servants. We worked together to keep her alive. Since then, such accidents have become rarer and rarer. There are still occasions when she is in grave danger, but… I hope that eventually the prophecy will cease to have any meaning and she will be free of it."

"Could we do the same for you?" asked Keith. "What if we save you from Jeord and keep you alive until the prophecy becomes invalid?"

"Well, I suppose it might be possible. But… when she predicted how I would die, Maggy the Frog gave some quite specific details: she told me that I would attempt to kill the 'pure and sweet and beautiful' woman whom Prince Jeord had fallen in love with, after which he would draw his sword and cut my head off."

"I can't imagine you trying to kill anyone!" Keith declared, looking indignant.

"Neither can I, but I may not have any choice in the matter," said Katarina. "And the same may be true of Prince Jeord. Perhaps we have both been cursed so that, at a crucial moment, magic will steal away our free will."

"You say 'perhaps', which means that you don't know for sure," said Keith, thinking aloud.

"No, I would be foolish if I didn't keep the possibility in mind. As I've said before, Maggy the Frog's prophecy of how I will die was quite specific; either it will come true or it won't. I know that I would never attempt to kill Prince Jeord's lover if I had any choice in the matter, so there seems little chance of the prophecy coming true, which leads me to suspect that my ability to choose will be taken away. Almost every day for the past three years, I have seen the power of the curse hanging over Sienna's head; many times, she has only narrowly avoided dying in an accident. I'm sure that a similar curse hangs over me. I just haven't felt its effects yet."

"I… I see," said Keith, staring off into the distance, lost in thought.

"Oh! I just remembered!" Katarina's eyes widened in sudden realization. "Maggy the Frog said that worms would have Sienna's maidenhead. That's one of the reasons why I think you should marry Sienna as soon as possible, so you can break the curse once and for all!"

Uneasily, Keith glanced from Katarina to her loyal lady-in-waiting, moistened his lips, and said, "Alternatively… what if Maggy the Frog's words had a double meaning? She could have meant that Sienna would die soon, but… what if she meant that Sienna would grow old and die without ever getting married or… uh, you know? Wouldn't that fulfill the conditions of the prophecy?"

"I don't see how." Her face contorted with bafflement, Katarina was about to say that what Keith had just suggested sounded awfully lonely and she wouldn't wish it on anyone, but then she noticed that Sienna looked positively cheered by the idea of not having to get married. So, she said instead, "Anyway, Maggy the Frog told her that 'death is coming for you tonight', not that she would live for many years afterwards."

"She was right," said Sienna. "Death came for me that night and many times since. But he didn't take me away with him. I've nearly died hundreds of times, but I'm still here. For now."

Keith gave a shaky little laugh and muttered, "It's complicated, isn't it? Uh… how do you live like this?"

"With great care," Katarina told him, taking his hand and leading him back towards the manor house.

On another balmy afternoon, later in the week, Keith and Sienna were plucky adventurers who had sneaked into the watery halls of the Drowned God, at the bottom of the ocean. Wearing magical daisy chain necklaces that enabled them to breathe underwater, they had to fight tentacular monstrosities and evade various subaquatic hazards. Then, at last, when Katarina's imagination began to pall, they swam back to the surface, arms laden with gold and glittering jewels.

In reality, they stepped away from the pond that they had been pretending to dive into and put down the small pile of smooth pebbles they had collected.

"You've won," said Katarina in a pleased voice. "You've become so wealthy that you will be treated like royalty wherever you go. Because you might as well be. Even kings and khals will bow and scrape when they hear about how much money you have. You can go anywhere and do anything you like. You're free."

"Won't people attempt to steal from us or take our money by force?" asked Sienna.

"Most likely. You'll have to hide it somewhere, or surround yourselves with armed guards, or build a fortress in which you and your money will be safe. So… maybe you're not free after all." Katarina sighed. "But it was nice to think about, for a little while, wasn't it?"

"Now that we've come to the end of our adventure, I think we should declare our everlasting love for one another," said Keith, theatrically. "How about it, Sienna?"

"Oh, yes!" Katarina nodded eagerly. "You should kiss!"

"Or rather, you can be our 'kiss taster'," said Sienna, grinning triumphantly.

When she saw how Sienna was staring at her like a starving woman who'd just been presented with a splendid feast, Katarina was surprised to find herself trembling with excitement.

"All this time, you've been trying to make the two of us fall in love with each other," Keith mused. "So why did you offer to let us practice kissing you?"

'Because I had a plan that I was sure would work, but you wouldn't have agreed to take part if I hadn't suggested that I could be your kiss taster,' Katarina thought, but she was too embarrassed to say any of that out loud.

"I think she knew what she was doing," said Sienna with a mischievous smirk. "Like she said before, she wants both of us."

Katarina blushed and averted her gaze even though she wasn't entirely sure what Sienna meant by that.

"I know you're joking, but…" Speaking slowly and thoughtfully, as if his theories were taking shape even as he spoke, Keith looked at his adopted sister and said, "For years, you've been convinced that your betrothed will kill you before you have a chance to get married. Which means you'll never have the grand romance you've been dreaming of. And so, you've come up with these games, hoping to experience a little of what it's like to love and to be loved, even if it's only make-believe. Or am I wrong about any of that?"

"Um, no… you're right," said Katarina. Actually, she would never have described herself in the same way that Keith just had – and some of the things he'd said had never occurred to her before – but it sounded so plausible and convincing that she wanted it to be true. It made her seem like the tragic heroine of a storybook, which was how she liked to imagine herself. "That's exactly what I want."

"Oh, Katarina," said Sienna, looking like she was about to burst into tears.

"Well…" Keith took a deep, anxious breath. "If you want to be kissed, I'm sure that either Sienna or I would be happy to oblige you. If you want to be loved, uh…"

"We both love you," Sienna chirped.

"I love you too," said Katarina, smiling fondly at them. "You are the best friends I could possibly wish for – the best brother and the best lady-in-waiting as well!"

They both sighed heavily. What was that expression on their faces? Was it exasperation or resignation or something else entirely? And why did they feel like that? Katarina had no idea.

"Would you like to kiss me now?" she asked. A moment later, she wondered if she had sounded too eager.

In an attempt at gallantry, Keith glanced at Sienna and said, "Ladies first?"

She hesitated for a few moments, long enough for it to be uncomfortable, and then demurred. "No, you can go first, Keith."

Keith moved closer to Katarina, tilted his head slightly, and was about to lean over to her, but then he paused. "May I?" he asked, in a tremulous voice.

"You may," she said, puckering her lips.

Their first kiss was clumsy but sweet. Keith moved awkwardly and, for a moment, Katarina was worried that their teeth would crash into each other, but then he paused, shifted his position, and tried again. For a few moments, while he kissed her, she felt as if she were at the centre of his world. Then, breathing heavily, he backed away.

"My turn," said Sienna, stepping forth. She pressed her face close to Katarina's and kissed her with such passion and enthusiasm that they both forgot where and who they were, for a few moments, until they had to come up for air.

As far as Katarina was concerned, passion was one of Sienna's best qualities. She often put on a mask of solemnity and world-weary cynicism, as if life was to be endured, not enjoyed, but she got so passionate about some things – and whenever she did, her eyes blazed, her face lit up like the sun in the morning, and she was exquisitely beautiful. Her passion was better than any makeup she could have worn.

"I love you," said Sienna, miserably, as if it were a shameful confession.

"I know," said Katarina, smiling back at her.

Sienna shook her head. "You don't. I wish you did, but you don't."

Then, it was Keith's turn again. This time, he followed Sienna's lead and tried to prove that he could kiss with as much passion as she could. It was enjoyable but somewhat dizzying.

And then they were interrupted.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" the Duchess Miridiana Claes demanded to know.

As if jolted apart by an electric shock of guilt and fright, Katarina and Keith sprang away from one another.

Miridiana took one look at Katarina's bruised lips, rounded on Keith, and yelled, "You! Just wait until your father hears of this!"

She grabbed hold of his upper arm and was about to drag him away, but Katarina darted in front of her.

"It was only a game!" she cried, clasping her hands together and putting on a beseeching expression. She was dismayed to see her mother looking so enraged, flanked by two stern and humorless household guards, and seemingly determined to punish Keith. Nevertheless, she still hoped that she could convince her to see reason. "Please, mother!"

"Get out of my way, Katarina!" her mother snarled.

"Keith did nothing wrong! You can't punish him! And anyway, I told him to kiss me!"

There was a pause. "Did you?"

"Yes! So, if you punish him, you'll have to punish me too!" cried Katarina.

"Very well," said Miridiana, grabbing hold of Katarina's upper arm and dragging her along with Keith. This caused them to bump into each other.

While they were reeling, clutching their heads, and crying out in pain, Miridiana stopped, turned to Sienna and glared at her. "And you! Why didn't you stop them?!"

"How was I supposed to do that?" asked Sienna.

For the first time, Miridiana looked a little unsure of herself. "I'll deal with you later," she decided.

"You should know that I… I kissed Katarina as well," said Sienna, bravely, though she was shaking with fear.

Miridiana's eyes flashed dangerously. "Like I said, I'll deal with you later!"

After that, she handed over Katarina and Keith to the two household guards, marched them into the manor house, and then went upstairs, shouting for her husband.

Author's Note:
The scene at the end of this chapter is roughly equivalent to when, in A Song of Ice and Fire's canon backstory, Joanna Lannister discovered that her young teenage son and daughter, Cersei and Jaime, were getting inappropriately... um, with each other. She did her best to keep them away from each other for the next few years until she died giving birth to Tyrion. I'm not saying that the same thing is going to happen to Miridiana, but… hmm, we'll see.