Author's Note:

I spend more time converting pounds to Galleons than I should LOL. But so you are aware: 165, 922, 920, 892 Galleons 8 Sickles 12 Knuts = £5 billion — again using the Wizarding Bank Converter.

Also, I said that I would post this chapter today — probably won't get another one until next Wednesday. I hope it is what you were hoping for.

Reviews and Comments: To alix33: Thank you! I'm glad you're looking forward to Sirius' plan for Snape. Hope I don't disappoint! To WarMunger98: I hope it is good and yes, RIP Snape LOL. Yes, there are little signs of attraction between Harry and Ginny, but yes, Harry is oblivious LOL. Harry is definitely starting to rebel a bit against being a kid, while at the same time, he wants his dads to comfort him. No soul bonds between Harry and Ginny (not a fan of those stories). I have a plan for the Horcrux inside of Harry, started planning it thirty or forty chapters ago. Will he sacrifice himself? Not like you think. Thank you! To scrappy8: Wow! A review from the infamous scrappy8! Thank you!

To Shamelessnweird: Thanks for saying it was a "damn interesting chapter" and that you loved it. To Guest: Thank you for saying the Ginny and Percy scene was sweet. I wanted to show that Ginny is close with all of her big brothers. I'm glad you found the Harry and Ginny scene sweet as well. Aww, sorry your heart broke when Harry said he's not Prongslet, but our Harry is growing up and as he does, he will no longer appreciate the childish nicknames as much. Thank you! To PolarWriter95: I'm glad Tonks flipping Sirius off in her state of undress entertained you so much LOL. Happy to keep you smiling. Thank you! To coloredwords: Thank you! It is conflicting. He is only thirteen, so his reaction is a mix of his maturity and his childish thoughts. Harry may actually finish his education before Voldemort, we'll see LOL. Yes, Sirius definitely knows he's playing with fire. Thank you!

To .1: Thank you for reading and loving ASC so far. I agree, Hinny is perfect! Ginny is very strong and resilient and we're seeing that come out in how she's dealt with the Chamber of Secrets. Thank you for saying I am telling a more realistic story of the teenage states and challenges. Harry and Ginny will get together before canon, but not any time soon. Yes, there will be some explicit sex and smut scenes between them when we get there. Thank you! To Steelcode: Yes, it a lot of weight for a thirteen-year-old which his why I think Sirius and Remus are doing the right thing by keeping that one bit a secret from him a little longer. Thanks for calling ASC magnificent! To geekymom: Thank you!

To Ana: Thanks for enjoying the Ginny and Percy scene. I know, Sirius and Remus not telling him about his scar being a Horcrux is annoying, but they've already told him so much and he is only thirteen. So much is at stake. He is informed on most of it and that's what's important. Thank you! To MMMARGEAU: Thank you! Yes, Harry has people to keep him informed!

Thank you very much for reading and please, please review!

Your reviews give me life! They give me inspiration! And they make me want to keep writing for more than just myself! Thank you!

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY:

The One Where the Marauders Prank Snape

It took almost an entire week for Dumbledore, McGonagall, Remus, and Sirius to go through the contents of the chest. The diaries of Slytherin were immensely valuable and would be donated to the Ministry of Magic's Department of History along with Slytherin's manifesto. The parchments pertaining to dark magic were studied carefully by Sirius. Most of it he recognized as stuff his own family had in their houses and vaults: Spells to turn a person inside out, spells to torture from within, vicious spells to bleed slowly and exsanguinate a victim, curses on bloodlines and curses to carry on a family tree, and some of them so terrible that even Sirius hadn't heard of them before.

The four of them agreed that the dark magic scrolls were better off being destroyed. Sirius set his wand aflame, touching the tip to the first scroll, and they watched them burn. The family tree detailed the beginning of the Slytherin line and would also be donated to the Ministry of Magic's Department of History. As for the gold, the chest was full of ancient coins, Roman and Greek, which were worth ten times as much as the gold itself, and they valued the gold at five billion pounds; a Gringotts' agent calculating the monetary value to be one hundred and sixty five billion, nine hundred and twenty-two million, nine hundred and twenty thousand eight hundred and ninety two Galleons, eight Sickles and twelve Knuts. It was a treasure unlike anything that had been discovered in the magical world in centuries and that wasn't even counting the jewels.

After much discussion on what to do with the money and speaking with the Head of the History Department at the Ministry of Magic, all agreed that since the money was found in Hogwarts, the school held the claim to it. Sirius agreed with Dumbledore about splitting the funds and giving it to the victims and their families: Argus Filch (a smaller portion as it was his cat), Colin Creevey, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hermione Granger, Penelope Clearwater, and Myrtle Warren. Sirius had his estate lawyer, Franklin M Smith, set up trusts for each student to cover all of their Hogwarts expenses (robes, supplies, and books) for the rest of their years of schooling and the remaining funds to be received upon their seventeenth birthday. In the case of Warren, the money was donated to her family and for Filch, just signed over to him.

Harry, Ginny, and Ron were each to get a portion of this reward as well for their bravery, ten percent each to be put into accounts for them at Gringotts where they would not have access to it until they came of age. The remaining funds, still a few million Galleons, were to be donated to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for school upkeep and put into the fund for students without families who needed help with textbooks, uniforms, and supplies.

Ginny protested her share of the money, insisting that she didn't deserve compensation for what she had done, but Harry convinced her to take it. He insisted that she deserved it for what she had suffered and for what had happened to her. Ginny finally agreed to use the money to cover the rest of her schooling including a portion for Na'eemah's mind healing services, but she insisted that the remainder of the funds be split between three major charities: St Mungo's Charity for Children, Save the Dragons, and Wounded Wizard Warriors. All of whom needed the money much more than she did.

Mr and Mrs Weasley had kissed her cheeks when she made the announcement, telling her how proud they were of her decision.

Harry protested his own money as well, asking Sirius if he could use his to buy himself a new broomstick before donating the rest to charity as Ginny had done. He suggested getting a Nimbus 2000 again as it had been such a good broom to him over the last two years. Sirius told him that they would discuss the broomstick at a later date, but that he supported the donating of the funds. Sirius wanted to speak to Dumbledore about the money Harry had received first as he had something else in mind for the money than strictly charity. He had been curious as to what, but Sirius had only smiled at him and told him that he would most definitely approve. And he had; not being able to stop himself from smiling at his godfather's rather brilliant idea.

The only thing left to examine from the Chamber of Secrets was the mysterious thin wooden case that Bill and Zee had discovered. Bill had stayed on to help examine the case and after determining that there were no wards placed upon it, he had carefully lifted the lid. He had been alarmed to find it empty.

"Why would Slytherin hide an empty case?" Bill asked.

Dumbledore moved forward to examine the indents in the case. "It appears it once held a necklace, see the indentations?"

Bill nodded. "Yes, but it's not there now."

McGonagall was staring at the indents in wonder. She held her wand over the box, using the spell to make an image of the necklace rise up from the box. Bill quickly sketched it onto the paper before the image vanished. "Obviously something of great value to him. Do you think that You Know Who removed it when he was down there?"

"I couldn't say, Minerva," Dumbledore admitted. "Voldemort could have taken it, yes, but then again, it may have also been Slytherin. In the meantime, we can see about getting someone from the Department of History on it. Maybe they know of a special necklace that Slytherin had kept as it is nothing that I recognize."

McGonagall nodded. "An excellent idea, but I think that you should write to Bathilda first."

"Agreed, she would be the most knowledgable about the four founders," Dumbledore said, thinking of his old friend as well as the woman who had written the history of magic textbook.

Bill took his leave of them, asking to be kept in the loop pertaining to the contents of the case, but he had work waiting for him back in Egypt. Sirius made himself comfortable in one of the chairs of Dumbledore's office, his eyes on McGonagall and Dumbledore, who were still hovered around the chest.

"What's your plan with the Chamber now?"

Dumbledore looked up at Sirius, his blue eyes twinkling. "I haven't the foggiest," he said with a smile. "The wards have been opened and all signs of dark magic and of Parseltongue have been removed. I do know that we can't have it hidden under the girl's bathroom for another few centuries."

"The space down there is enormous and even quite grand," McGonagall said, taking a seat next to Sirius. "If we clean it up some, it might be an ideal place to have some additional training."

"What kind of training?" Sirius asked her.

"Duelling mainly."

"We already have a very well set-up duelling training area in the dungeons, Minerva."

"Yes, we do, but this could be more, Albus. I think that it's high time we bring duelling back to the curriculum. Students need to learn how to be prepared to fight." McGonagall insisted, her eyes on Sirius. "Sirius was just telling me the other day that he wants Remus to teach Harry how to perform a Patronus Charm."

Dumbledore nodded. "That is very advanced magic, Sirius. It's not even taught until NEWT year and even then it is a very difficult charm to master for most grown wizards let alone a third year."

Sirius crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Harry is not most students. He will learn it. He wants to know why the Dementors seem to affect him so strongly and he wants to fight back. This will help him. He hears James and Lily, Albus. No one should have to hear the sounds of their parents' deaths."

"I couldn't agree more, if you think that he is ready to learn it, then by all means, have Remus teach it to him. As for bringing back duelling, I do agree with you, Minerva, however we do need someone willing to teach it. Filius is too busy these days with Frog Choir and Orchestra."

"Let me work on it, Albus," McGonagall said with a smile. "I think that I have a few ideas on the subject."

Dumbledore nodded. "All right, I will leave it in your capable hands." He turned his attention back to Sirius with a smile. "Sirius, you said that you wanted to ask me something about broomsticks?"

Sirius nodded, tapping his fingers on the arms of the cushy armchair. "Yes. Last year, Lucius Malfoy purchased seven new Nimbus 2001's for the Slytherin Quidditch Team, correct?"

"He did," Dumbledore said, carefully. "I told him that the extravagance wasn't needed, but he insisted that they were to be for the Slytherin Quidditch team and not something each student was able to take home with them, but belonged to the school itself, therefore I saw no harm in it."

"Harry needs a new broom," Sirius told him. "His was destroyed after the Dementor attack and he says that the school brooms are in awful shape."

"Alas, that is true," he said sadly. "But our brooms are donated to us, often used and left over from Quidditch teams or students."

"I want to purchase new ones for the school as well as for my son."

Dumbledore's eyebrow rose. "Refit the entire school with all new brooms? Sirius, that is a very generous offer, but I don't quite think you realize the cost of what you are undertaking."

"I do," Sirius said with a smile. "The money that Harry was given from the Chamber of Secrets, he doesn't need it, nor does he want it. As a Potter and my heir, he is already insanely wealthy. After hearing how Ginny donated her findings, he came to me with a similar idea asking only to be able to purchase a broom with his money, specifically a Nimbus 2000."

McGonagall snorted. "Of course he wants the same kind of broom he had before, but really he should have an even better broom."

Dumbledore smiled at them. "I never turn down anything new that is offered to the students of this school."

Sirius simply grinned. "Good."

Sirius made good on his word. He spoke to Harry about his decision to use the money to get Hogwarts new broomsticks and Harry was thrilled with the idea. After speaking with Madam Hooch, Sirius agreed that different varieties of brooms were needed. He purchased fifty Cleansweep 7 brooms to be used strictly for flying classes. They were excellent brooms for turning corners quickly and efficiently and Sirius agreed that they were an excellent choice to learn to fly on. As for the Quidditch teams, The Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor Quidditch teams were all given seven brand new Nimbus 2001's from an anonymous donor. Each Quidditch player was now given the opportunity to be on a broomstick of equal value to that of the Slytherin House Quidditch team. However, if a student preferred to use their own broomstick, this was still very much allowed as the new broomsticks were the property of the House Quidditch teams and not of the individual Quidditch players themselves.

The announcement detailing the generous donation of broomsticks to the school and to the Quidditch teams (from an anonymous donor) was met with an uproar of excitement from the students. Oliver Wood especially was beside himself with excitement and couldn't wait for Quidditch practice in the new year on their new broomsticks as they were all supposed to be arriving sometime in mid January due to the volume of the shipment and because of the upcoming holidays. Since the next Quidditch match wasn't scheduled until February first (Hufflepuff verses Slytherin), everyone was excited about this.

Quidditch practice that Saturday afternoon started off a bit late due to trying to find a school broom that worked well enough for Harry to practice on. He held the old Cleansweep 3 across his shoulders as he began his run up the Quidditch stands, his breath coming out in little huffs in the cold air and he hoped that the new brooms would be here in time for his next Quidditch game as the thought of riding the broom he had spent practicing on was just depressing. It flew decent enough, but the ends were quite frayed and he could feel the way it seemed to glide a little to the left.

He showered in the Gryffindor change room before slipping into blue jeans and a black jumper. He put the broom over his shoulder and made his way back up to his dorm. He was keeping a hold of this broom until the Nimbus 2001s arrived. It may not be the best broom, but it was one of the better ones that Hogwarts had available and he wasn't taking any chances until he had a new broom in his own hand. He rolled his eyes when he recognized Snape standing in the entranceway.

"Well, well, if it isn't the little pampered Potter?"

Harry ignored him and kept walking. He had spent the last week pouring over every moment of his conversation with Sirius and Remus. The prophecy kept echoing in his head and the last thing that he felt like doing was talking to Snape.

"A professor is speaking to you, Potter. You should show some respect."

Harry simply turned to stare at him. "Belittling me? Who is the one showing respect, Professor?"

Snape's eyes narrowed. "You're turning more and more into a spoiled, arrogant, and superior prat just like your father was. Detention, next weekend, my office."

Harry opened his mouth to protest and Snape sneered.

"And ten points from Gryffindor for your cheek."

Harry glared at his back and stormed off towards Gryffindor Tower. He hesitated as he pulled out the mirror when he got to his dormitory. He had promised Sirius, he thought, and he physically grimaced as he thought about how his father was going to react. Harry shoved the mirror back in his pocket. He would tell him, but after his detention.

It was probably safer that way.

~ ASC ~

Zee smiled warmly at the pretty woman behind the desk in the Department of History. She had soft blonde hair with large doe-like eyes in bright blue and she wore bright red rimmed glasses perched on the edge of her nose. She very much looked the part and Zee wondered if she was Mary Raffigan, the woman that she was looking for.

"Good morning," Zee said cheerfully, letting the door behind her close. "How are you this morning?"

The woman looked rather startled, as if she had been deeply engrossed in whatever she had been reading. "Er, fine, thank you. Did we have an appointment?"

Zee shook her head and moved to sit in the chair across from her. "No, I'm afraid we didn't. I'm Agent Zacarias of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, I was hoping to take up a bit of your time."

The blonde woman looked bewildered. "What would an agent of the DRCMC want with me?"

"I work in the Beast Division and I've been doing some personal research and thought a historian would greatly benefit me."

The woman only nodded. "Professor Bagshot still takes some letters in her retirement, but she's not interested in assisting on personal projects anymore. She insists that she's too old and that she retired for a reason."

Zee shook her head, crossing her legs in front of her. "I'm not here about Professor Bagshot. How many historians do you have working in this department?"

"Ten."

"How many of them have a background in magical objects?"

The woman hesitated. "Just me. What did you say your name was again?"

"Zee," she said with a smile. "And that would make you Mary Raffigan?" At the woman's nod, Zee grinned. "Are you interested in working on a private research assignment? I'm doing some research on the four founders of Hogwarts and about some of the magical objects that they may have owned, as I believe I've come across one."

The woman stared at her for a moment. "About magical objects from the four founders of Hogwarts?"

"Historical magical objects, yes," Zee said carefully. She handed her a card with a smile. "This is my card, think about it and get back to me. I would really appreciate your help."

The woman only nodded, staring at the card on her desk. "I will do that, but I'm afraid I am rather busy and it might not be until after the holiday."

"After the holiday would be just fine. Please think about it and get back to me. Thank you."

Then she turned and headed back to her office with a grin. If Raffigan could tell them what the necklace was it would be very helpful in finding out why it was kept in the Chamber of Secrets in the first place and if it was important in any way or just simply a necklace. She was also hoping that Raffigan's founder knowledge could help them in discovering what other magical objects the founders were known to have had, therefore determining if a few of them had interested Voldemort in any way.

When she arrived back at her office, she winced when she recognized her partner Tripp Forester staring intently at the cage of snakes that they were still keeping there.

"Forester!" He jolted and turned to look at her. "Why are the snakes still here? I thought that you agreed to turn them over to the Muggle Animal Control Office yesterday?"

He nodded and licked his lips. "They unnerve me. I… I didn't want to be alone with them."

She merely raised an eyebrow. "You've been acting quite strangely," she said as she watched him. "Are you feeling all right?"

Forester nodded, pushing his sandy blond hair out his face. "Fine, I'm fine. Did you finish that report on the dragon breeding in Bristol?"

"Yes," she said, nodding at her desk. "I just need your notes before I can send it off."

Forester nodded, his eyes moving back to the snakes. "I'll take care of these now."

Zee watched him go and shook her head. Ever since he had gone on assignment with Agent Yaxley he seemed to be off in some way. She wondered not for the first time what exactly had happened on the assignment, but Yaxley had deemed it a need to know and she wasn't privy to that information.

She took a seat at her desk and opened her notes on today's assignment. She wanted to work on helping the Irish put a plan into place for the fairies and the pixies who apparently were causing mayhem in the Irish countryside. They needed to come to terms with them and once and for all decide how to work with them instead of shunning them into a beast division that hardly applied to them. The Court of Tara was willing to cooperate, she just needed to find a way to bring it all together in a way that the Ministry would approve of. The fae were perfectly capable of handling their own affairs, but she knew the pixies often didn't listen to the king nor to anyone else, which was part of the problem — their mischievousness.

She frowned when she noticed the new folder on the top with the name Dolores Umbridge stamped across it. She flipped it open to read the document and her eyes hardened as she read the legislation that had been passed through last week on dealing with 'undesirables.'

She was still glaring at it when Yaxley walked in.

"Zacarias!"

She jolted and stood up. "Sir."

"Where's Forester?"

"He just left to take the last of the snakes to the Muggle Animal Control Office. Sir, this undesirable legislation, it's abhorrent!"

Yaxley merely shrugged. "I don't agree with it either, but Grimmson approved it and Umbridge managed to get the amount of signatures required to get it passed."

"She claims they are, I quote: 'Half-breeds who are trying to pass themselves off as human and should not be allowed employment in the Ministry of Magic nor in any government-sanctioned agencies including hospitals, clinics, schools, and offices.' That is preposterous!"

Yaxley sighed and scratched his chin. "Feel free to start a counter legislation, Zacarias, I will gladly back it and I'm sure that if you received enough signatures you can even approach Scamander. He still has a lot of pull in the Ministry in terms of magical creatures and I know that he never really considered werewolves to be a magical creature, let alone an 'undesirable.' He and Grimmson have never seen eye-to-eye."

"Umbridge has gone mad and how the hell was this bloody legislation passed in the first place?"

"Start up the counter legislation and we'll go over it together. You can coordinate with Agent Minnow in the Being Division, I know he is equally as angry about the legislation. It came into affect last week by the way," he said in defeat. "Umbridge has already ordered the Werewolf Capture Unit to arrest two wizards who work as janitors in St Mungo's and has had them stripped of their employment and charged with 'endangerment to the public.' The Werewolf Registry Department is fighting the charges as Umbridge is demanding six months imprisonment. The receptionist from the hospital was also arrested because her grandmother was a Veela and it makes her 'dangerous' as well. Minnow is doing what he can with Werewolf Support Services to help these two individuals find new employment and as to the Veela, well, a few of the agents from the DRCMC are trying to assist where possible."

Zee stared at him in horror. "She can't have them imprisoned when the law was just passed!"

"I doubt that they will be imprisoned, considering, but it's enough to shake employers who are now firing employees who are known to have lycanthropy. The legislation states that the employer can be fined up to five thousand Galleons if found to be harbouring a werewolf," Yaxley told her, looking at the mounds of paperwork on her desk. "You're on desk duty for another two weeks, Zacarias. That paperwork has gotten wildly out of control, but get that counter legislation started as well."

She opened her mouth to argue and then promptly shut it. The paperwork was out of control and she did have to get a handle on it if she was going to get anything accomplished. "Yes, Sir."

He merely glanced at Lady Godiva who was lounging in her usual position in front of her desk. "Report to me on the status of your paperwork at the end of each day and then we'll revisit field work and coordinate with Minnow on your counter."

"Yes, Sir."

He hurried out of the office and she sat back down in her chair, tilting her neck to and fro in an attempt to stretch the muscles there. Just the thought of spending days at her desk had her wincing and the last week had already felt like the longest week of her life. She sighed and buried her face in her hands just as a knock sounded on the door jamb. She looked up, eyes alight in surprise to see Sirius there.

"Sirius!"

"Bad time?" he asked, nodding at the paperwork.

Zee shook her head, smiling at him. "The best actually. What are you doing here?"

He smiled and walked around her desk, bending to kiss her softly. "Just met my friend Apollo for lunch. He's in town for his brother's promotional thing for work. Figured I was nearby."

She smiled at him, tugging him down for another kiss. "Good plan."

Lady Godiva used her head to hit Sirius in the leg and he let go of Zee's lips long enough to scratch the large cat behind the ears.

"Sorry, Lady G, I should have greeted you as well."

Lady Godiva's yellow eyes only stared at him as if she was saying, 'duh'.

Sirius scratched her absentmindedly before he rested a hip on her desk, shifting paperwork over. "Still stuck in the office, babe?"

She pouted and he leaned down to capture that bottom lip, sucking on it gently for a moment.

Zee sighed when he pulled away. "I hate office work. I feel like I'm confined and I'm being punished."

"You are," he said easily with a smile. "My woman likes to be out in the thick of it."

She grinned at him. "What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

He shrugged, running his fingers through his hair as the locks fell just so around his face so effortlessly. "Not too much. Might work on the Adler for a bit and I have few plans to tweak for Monday morning. You going to be late tonight?"

"Probably," she said, pouting again. "What are you tweaking?"

Sirius chuckled and bent down to kiss her instead of answering. He knew how much she hated being stuck in the office. She was made for field work, for working directly with magical creatures, and to be confined for long periods of time was the worst sort of punishment for her. When she deepened the kiss, he grinned against her mouth, his tongue meeting hers languidly. He cupped her breast through her blouse and his other hand slid down to cup between her legs, rubbing and making her whimper.

Lady Godiva let out a huff and went and stretched out in front of the closed office door.

Sirius smirked. "We have a guard cat." He trailed his tongue down the side of her neck, using his teeth and she gasped. "Ever done it in your office?"

Zee shook her head, her arms wrapped around his neck. "We can't!"

Sirius merely grinned at her and unbuttoned her blouse. "Is that a dare?"

Zee's eyes met his, full of desire, and he kissed her deeply. Her hands moved to undo his belt and she smirked at him. "Make it fast, Black, Forester could be back any minute."

He vanished her clothes, two fingers slipping into the wet heat as her head fell back in surrender. "Better come quick then," he said simply, sliding to the floor and using his mouth on her.

She had never wished for Forester to be slower in her entire life.

~ ASC ~

The next morning as Harry hurried down for breakfast a bit later than usual, laughter echoed up from the Great Hall and caught his attention. Harry glanced around absently, wondering why everyone was so amused this morning — and then he saw it.

Snape was sitting up at the head table, a look of pure loathing on his face. His fingers were clamped around the spoon of his porridge so tightly that his knuckles were white and his lips had pursed into a thin almost non-existent line. The look of rage coming from his eyes was enough to give anyone a heart attack. His greasy black hair had been turned into a hot neon pink and spiralled down his black robes in large curls. By the look on his face, he hadn't figured out how to change it back.

Harry slid into the seat next to Ron and grinned. "Snape trying out a new look?"

Ron smirked at him. "He walked in about five minutes ago with his hair like that and mate — if looks could kill. Who do you think did it?"

"The twins?"

Ron shook his head. "They swear it wasn't them and you know Gred and Forge, they would gladly take credit for any and all pranks they've cast."

"True," Harry said, his eyes moving to Snape. Snape's black eyes were on Harry now, pure loathing in them so strong it made Harry shiver. "He thinks that it was me."

Ron snorted. "No way you pulled that off without telling me first!"

Harry grinned at him. "Definitely didn't, but I wish I did."

Ron chuckled into his apple juice. "Wonder how long it's going to stay like that."

Harry smirked. "Hope it takes a him at least a day to figure it out."

He and Ron looked at each other and grinned.

As dinner was finishing up on Tuesday night there was a strange flash up at the Head Table and when Harry looked over at the professors, he snorted in laughter. Snape's black robes had turned Gryffindor red and gold which had only made the pink hair seem that much brighter.

It took him three days to brew a potion to counteract the pink hair charm. When he arrived at the Great Hall for dinner on Wednesday, his greasy oily black locks were back to normal and the students all pouted. Fred was even bold enough to tell him that he missed the pink as he'd thought Snape had looked rather smashing in his look.

He'd gotten detention, but Fred claimed it had been worth it.

The next morning at breakfast, Snape was back to his usual surely self, but when the Gryffindor third years made their way to the Potions lab, they were surprised to find an attractive blonde woman at the front of the classroom. She wore a bright red short leather skirt, black high heels, and a white blouse with a red blazer.

"Do you reckon something happened to Snape?" Ron whispered as they took their seats.

Harry shrugged. "Dunno."

Neville shuddered in relief as he sat down. "A new teacher wouldn't be so bad," he whispered.

The blonde woman waited until the last student had sat down before she spoke. "If I find the culprit of these pranks you can rest assured that I will do everything in my power to have them expelled from this school."

Harry's mouth dropped open. The distinct sound of Snape's oily voice coming out of the woman was enough to give him nightmares and then he concealed a grin. Someone had turned him into a bloody woman! He snickered as he opened his textbook to the Girding Potion. Whoever had achieved this deserved a medal, he thought.

"Potter, what may I ask is so amusing about this potion?"

"Nothing, Sir," Harry said quickly, trying to mask his grin.

The blonde woman, who was actually Snape, sneered at him, but as the big breasted blonde was extremely attractive, the sneer didn't quite have the same effect.

"Thirty points from Gryffindor."

Harry groaned as he turned to his textbook. Snape obviously wasn't finding the humour in his predicament. Blaise moved over to him to borrow some of his doxy eggs and whispered to him on his way back.

"Is it weird that I'm totally hard looking at Snape and repulsed at the same time?"

Harry, who himself was feeling a little hard when his eyes found 'Snape's' breasts shook his head. "I hope not, mate, because I'm feeling it too."

He kept his eyes on his potion, trying not to watch the lovely sway of Snape's hips while adjusting himself beneath his robes. This was a predicament that he hadn't expected, but he was relieved to learn that he wasn't alone.

By lunch that day, the attractive blonde woman had bottomed back out into Snape's hooked-nosed face, but whoever was pulling these pranks on their professor had yet to stop. Snape was grinning happily when he came in for lunch and the sight was almost terrifying. Harry watched him closely to try to figure out why he was so happy and he smirked when he realized that his face had been charmed with some kind of cheering charm and Snape couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Severus, it's lovely to see you in such good spirits!" Dumbledore exclaimed as Harry moved closer to the Head Table in an attempt to talk to Remus.

Snape's eyes held his glare, but the huge smile on his face contradicted it. "I can assure you that it is not by choice!"

Harry nudged Remus as he came around the table. "Is this you?"

Remus shook his head. "I wish that I could take all the credit, but it's not. The big breasted blonde though, that's familiar to me… something I swear I —" His eyes widened in disbelief. "Little Prongs, have you spoken to Padfoot recently?"

Harry's grin widened and he hurried out of the Great Hall, tugging his mirror out of his pocket. A few seconds later, Sirius' face appeared. "Uncle Padfoot, what have you done?"

Sirius smirked at him. "Accusing me of things? Not very Marauder-ish, Prongslet."

Harry grinned. "How are you doing it?"

Sirius only wiggled his eyebrows. "I'm quite sure that I have no idea what you're implying, but if I did have an inkling, I might possibly reveal that something fun could happen during dinner tonight."

Harry's grin widened as Sirius bid him farewell and disappeared from the mirror. Sure enough at dinner that night, Snape's cheering charm had worn off. Every time he made an effort to speak at the Head table, he would suddenly start burping multi-coloured bubbles. Each bubble was filled with conversation as if he had spoken it and as the bubble floated away, a sing-song voice would reveal it's contents to the Great Hall, but they were very un-Snape-like things to say such as:

➾ Fifty points to Gryffindor!

➾ Hufflepuffs are the best, take fifty points too!

➾ Anyone else find Portree's Keeper David Little incredibly sexy?

➾ Who wants to play Charades?

➾ I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me, he's just a poor boy from a poor family, spare him his life from this monstrosity!

➾ Riddle me this, does Ravenclaw get fifty points too, of course they do!

➾ I wear lacy knickers under my robes

➾ Fifty points to Slytherin just to be fair!

➾ Oh dear, look at me, and my sad greasy hair!

As each one was said very loudly and in a happy sing-song voice, Snape became angrier and angrier, his eyes shooting daggers before he finally just stormed out of the Great Hall amidst a great deal of laughter.

Dumbledore stood up at his exit. "Now now, settle down. If anyone knows who is behind these amusing yet uncalled for pranks against Professor Snape, I urge you to come forward."

Harry turned to grin at his friends. Fred and George were sitting nearby and they both looked like they could cry in happiness. The students around him were all speaking in undertones, trying to figure out who could be behind the pranks.

"Whoever is behind these pranks is ingenious! How are they getting Snape to do all of this?"

"They must be charming something he touches!"

"Must be charming him directly!"

"But he wouldn't allow it? He would curse them!"

"It's Snape — he would kill them!"

"How are they getting away with it?"

"Did you see his face?"

"Do you think he really wears lacy knickers because I definitely don't want that image in my head?"

"Do the house points really count?"

"Little is so sexy! Have you seen how good his bum looks in that Quidditch uniform? I could eat him up!"

"What was that thing about him being a poor boy? Do you think that means something?"

"Don't you know any Muggle music? Bloody hell, do you live under a rock?"

Harry snorted and turned to Neville and Ginny. "Snape is getting really pissed off. Should we be concerned that he's going to take it out on us?"

Neville shuddered at that realization. "Probably!"

Ginny grinned. "I wouldn't worry. I think it looks good on him. The git."

Harry smirked at her, elbowing her lightly. "I don't think that it's over just yet, either."

"Me neither," Ginny said with a smile. "And I can't wait to see the big finish."

When they got to Potions class the next morning, it took everything in Harry's power not to spend the entire class glowering at Snape. He was dreading his detention that night even more since Snape seemed to be taking points off of Gryffindor for stupid things. Obviously the never-ending pranks against him hadn't exactly endeared him to be any nicer to his students.

Harry had already lost thirty points and class was only half finished. He had lost points for talking while Snape was giving out instructions, for helping Neville cut his ingredients, and for dropping his Potions textbook on the floor. Neville had lost ten points for trembling and Seamus had lost five points for looking at Lavender too long.

They were learning how to brew a Shrinking Solution and he declared that Neville's potion would be fed to Neville's toad, Trevor, at the end of class to see if Neville had learned how to follow instructions properly. If it was brewed correctly, Trevor would turn into a tadpole, but if not, the implications were that Neville's potion could kill Trevor.

Harry was whispering to Neville under his breath, guiding him through the potion and he jolted when Snape slammed his hand down on the table.

"Stop helping Longbottom, Potter or he'll never learn!"

"He's never going to learn if you keep threatening him!"

Snape sneered. "Threaten him? Have I threatened Longbottom? I don't believe I have. I'm teaching him how to follow instructions properly. If he fails, well, he'll be the one poisoning his pet. Not me. Five points from Gryffindor!"

"You're a bully!"

It took the room as a whole almost thirty seconds to realize that the outburst had come from Neville. Harry's mouth opened in shock as he watched Neville climb to his feet, his hands fisted tightly at his sides.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Longbottom."

Neville glared at him. "I won't sit here and listen to you belittle me or anyone else! Not again! It's not my fault someone has been pranking you all week so don't take it out on me! If you want me to learn then give me a chance to try without telling me that I'm a failure for not knowing how to do something on my first bloody attempt at it or bloody-well sod off!"

Snape stared at Neville, his black eyes narrowed and Harry could see that Neville was trembling from head to foot. Snape nodded at him. "All of you, get back to work."

Everyone as a whole turned to stare at Neville. Neville was breathing heavy and fast and Harry grabbed his arm, worried that his friend was going to pass out. They handed in their potion, which Snape did not feed to Trevor, and hurried out of the dungeons. The third year Gryffindors all huddled around Neville and Harry.

"Mate, that was bloody brilliant!" Seamus exclaimed, his eyes wide. "You actually told Snape off!"

Dean nodded, his grin catching. "You actually told him to bloody-well sod off! Good on you!"

"And he didn't take away any points for it," Sophie Roper added, tucking her brown hair behind her ear.

Neville looked rather nauseous as he grinned at his fellow Gryffindors around him. "I did, didn't I?"

Harry slapped him on the back. "Mate, that was fantastic! How do you feel? You look like you might be sick."

Neville only nodded. "He's going to kill me, isn't he?"

Ron snorted. "To be honest, Nev, I think that he was rather impressed."

Blaise, Theo, and Draco pushed their way through the Gryffindors. Blaise was sporting a satisfied smirk as he spoke. "That's the first time I've ever heard anyone tell off Snape. Have to say, didn't expect it to be you, Longbottom. Good on you."

Theo grinned. "I don't think I've ever seen Snape so shocked. Pat yourself on the back."

"And Longbottom? I'd watch what you ate and drank over the next few days. He is the Potions Master after all," Draco added.

Neville paled and Harry squeezed his shoulder in reassurance. "Ignore them. It was bloody brilliant and they know it."

Lavender slid her arm around Seamus' waist, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Let's leave Neville to catch his breath and see what kind of trouble we can get up to over here."

Seamus wiggled his eyebrows at his friends. "The school is going to be talking about this for years!" he declared before he let his girlfriend pull him into the empty classroom on the left for a snog.

Harry grinned at his friend. "Nev, breathe. Now slap yourself on the back because that was bloody brilliant."

Neville simply grinned at Harry in response.

By lunch that afternoon, the entire school had heard what had happened in third year Potions that day. People Harry had never even noticed before were finding their way to the Gryffindor table and congratulating Neville. Neville was beaming, his face flushing red, but Harry could see the confidence pouring off of him in waves and it made him smile. His friend was starting to finally really find his footing.

He was still grinning when he made his way to the dungeons that evening for his detention. He took a seat at his desk and waited patiently for Snape who stalked in moments later, his robes billowing out behind him.

"You can scrub out the cauldrons used today, Potter," Snape said gesturing to the towering mass of cauldrons in the corner. "No magic, of course."

Harry only nodded, choosing not to say a word and got to work. He was on the second cauldron when Snape spoke.

"I suppose that you all think Longbottom was brave today."

Harry shrugged. "I think it's about time he stands up for himself, yeah."

Snape sneered. "I know you are behind these pranks, Potter, and do be aware that I will catch you and you will be expelled from this school."

Harry only smirked at him. "Pretty hard to expel me when I haven't done anything. But whoever is behind them — they've been hilarious!"

Snape's sneer sharpened and Harry gulped. If looks could kill he would dead. "You have one hour to get those finished or you will be in detention with me again. Twenty points from Gryffindor!"

The door to the dungeons slammed behind him, his robes billowing out bat-like and Harry simply grinned. He felt like they had achieved one small victory against Snape today. He pulled out his mirror to call Sirius, grinning widely.

His father was going to love this.

~ ASC ~

The next morning, Harry grinned when he saw Persephone fly over the Gryffindor table. Then he frowned when he saw that she was carrying a red envelope. "A Howler?"

Ron looked up in surprise, grimacing. "What did you do, Harry? Did Sirius find out that you had detention?"

"No, I just spoke to him last night, and I purposely didn't tell him that I was in detention, because it was with Snape!" he insisted and then his eyes widened in surprise as he watched Persephone drop the Howler down in front of Neville.

Neville's eyes widened in fear as the envelope began to steam. "Why is Sirius sending me a Howler, Harry?"

But the Howler, anxious to be opened, was steaming like crazy and Neville gulped as he opened the flap and Sirius' voice filled the Great Hall.

NEVILLE FRANKLIN LONGBOTTOM! YOU STOOD UP TO THE ARSE OF A BULLYING GIT THAT IS SNAPE AND I SEND YOU MY APPLAUSE! REMEMBER, NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT! I KNOW FRANK AND ALICE ARE INCREDIBLY PROUD OF YOU! YOU ARE AN AMAZING YOUNG MAN AND I AM HONOURED TO KNOW YOU! I COULDN'T BE PROUDER OF YOU!

The Howler hopped up, flew across the Great Hall and hovered in front of Snape before blowing a big raspberry in his face and spewing him in red sparkles before shredding itself to pieces.

Neville's face was flushed bright red and Harry slapped him on the back. "I may have told Uncle Siri about what you said in Potions class yesterday."

Neville beamed at him. "Thanks, Harry."

~ ASC ~

Meanwhile at the Head Table, Snape was fuming and he glared at Dumbledore. "Did you see that, Albus?"

"Oh? You mean when Sirius Black congratulated that wonderful young man on standing up to the teacher who bullies him?" McGonagall brightly interrupted. "I certainly did and I commend him for it."

Snape glared at her. "I just want him to learn that he has potential. If a little criticism hurts the boy, he's not going to make it far in life, and I'm certainly not going to coddle him!"

Dumbledore merely raised his teacup. "I'm not asking you to coddle him, Severus. I'm asking you to teach him and to show him the respect that a teacher should give their students. Admit it, you were impressed with Mr Longbottom yesterday."

Snape sighed. "I don't want to be what he fears most, but I will not coddle him."

McGonagall smiled at this. "I think that is a promising start."

Remus smiled back at her and nodded. He definitely had to agree and he had to admit, that the message for Neville was a wonderful touch and he knew that Sirius understood how important that was going to be to him. Sirius knew that sometimes Neville needed that father figure in his life and Remus was proud of his friend for supplying it when he could.

But he also couldn't stop the smirk on his face as he thought about the finale that he had helped Sirius organize for dinner that night. He hoped the students weren't too disappointed with the latest attack on their Potions Professor.

They weren't disappointed.

That evening at dinner, Snape's plate of food dissolved into fireworks. Bright neon colours as dragons and zouwus and nifflers and occamys and griffins took to the ceiling, flashing and celebrating in delight and then a loud voice seemed to echo across the hall.

"Mr Moony would like to remind Mr Snape that being a git is not a requirement of his job as a professor and in fact, it is frowned upon by the faculty, and if he continues to act like a righteous git to his students — the pranks shall continue."

A big red dragon exploded in light over their heads.

"Mr Padfoot would like to tell Mr Snape, that if he continues to take points away from undeserving students for things like breathing, and not for things worth being punished for, he will gladly come down there and knock in his teeth."

A big gold zouwu firework dove at Snape's head and he ducked.

"Mr Moony would like to add, that hatred of a person should not extend to their children, who by default did nothing to warrant such a hatred and if it continues, will be forced to get Mr Prongs to haunt you for the rest of your days."

Snape was pale now as another firework, this one in the shape of a large occamy dove at his face.

"Mr Padfoot would like to tell Mr Snape that he is an immature git who needs to grow up and treat his students with the respect that they deserve."

Two more large fireworks exploded into the ceiling before the voice echoed one more time.

"Messrs Moony and Padfoot thank Mr Snape for listening and would like to remind him to keep his abnormally large nose out of people's business and to inform him that he is being watched."

The fireworks exploded into dust and Snape was pale as he stared at the magical flashes of light that fell slowly around him. His dark eyes were glinting in rage, but he seemed to be listening to what had been said and he looked even less happy than normal.

Lee Jordan began to clap loudly soon followed by George, then Fred, and soon the entire Great Hall was clapping and cheering. Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling in mischief as he called the hall to attention informing them again that playing pranks on professors was frowned upon and if anyone knew who was behind this to please come forward.

Harry only grinned as he stabbed into roasted potato happily. He was pretty sure tonight had been one of the best nights of his entire life.