Chapter 13: The Woman with the Winning Smile

Disclaimer: All things Supergirl/Superman and Batman belong to DC. No infringement is intended.

Kara took a few minutes to observe the woman sitting on a chair in front of her. She was wearing a purple striped men's style suit, which was tailored to a female figure. A garish orange vest was worn over a bright green shirt and purple boots and gloves completed the ensemble. The woman's shoulder-length hair was dyed green as well and her face was covered in pale white make-up, though some of it had worn off. The lower half of her face seemed to be permanently frozen in a huge smile, accentuated by bright red lipstick that had been very liberally applied, though it was now smeared a bit.

"Interesting look," she finally said, having finished her inspection.

"I could say the same," the smiling woman said. "The red and blue color combination would definitely not work for everybody, but it does wonders for you, honey! Really great look with your blonde locks and huge blue eyes. Big fan, by the way! Always wanted to meet the famous Superwoman. Though I could have done without the bondage elements involved, at least for the first date."

She raised her hands, cuffed together via black handcuffs, and gestured toward where thin black rope bound her legs and shoulders to the metal chair she was sitting on. For someone who had woken up imprisoned in a nondescript room in an unknown location, though, she seemed remarkably composed. Or maybe it was just the clown look. Kara was not a fan of clowns.

"Sorry about that," Kara said, shrugging. "Our common friend figured you wouldn't sit still long enough for us to have a talk otherwise."

"Ah, yes, our friend," the woman said, her smile growing even broader it seemed. "The big bad Bat! The big strong protector of Gotham City and all its citizens. Well, some of them anyway. We had an interesting talk earlier, he and I." Leaning forward towards Kara, the woman dropped her voice to a stage whisper. "Just between us girls, I think he might be a tiny bit crazy!"

"Funny," Kara replied in the same stage whisper, unable to fully suppress a smile. "He said the same about you!"

This caused the woman to laugh, a long, drawn-out laugh that almost caused her to topple over with the chair she was tied to. She finally recovered, though, wiping a tear from her eye (and smearing her make-up some more). "I'm not," she said, sounding completely serious.

"Are you sure?" Kara asked. "Both your sense of dress and your actions seem to indicate otherwise."

"I don't think my sense of dress differs much from yours, honey. After all, we both dress to impress, to stand out from the crowd, so people will notice. Sad but true, people don't listen to you unless you really manage to capture their attention first!"

"You have certainly captured people's attention," Kara conceded the point. "I am not sure I like your methods, though."

"Not everyone can lift cars over their heads, buttercup," she said, shrugging. "It'd be great if I could, so should you ever care to share some of those super powers of yours, I'm in! Like I said, big fan! I'd even wear the blue and red suit, too, no matter how badly it might clash with my hair. Until that day, though, I have to use more mundane methods."

"Like robbing a bank in broad daylight?"

"Well, ACTUALLY..." the woman began, only to trail off and descend into laughter once again.

"You done?" Kara asked after nearly a minute had passed.

"Yes, sorry. That happens sometimes. Where was I? Oh yes, well, technically I might have robbed a bank, as you said, but I didn't take any money. I only, shall we say, unearthed some interesting pieces of information from where they were locked away in the hopes that no one would ever see them."

"You used a bomb to blow open the vault with the safety deposit boxes!"

"Yes, but what was I supposed to do? That stupid fat security guard refused to open it for me! Babbled something about time locks and separate keys while he peed himself, can you believe that? So how else was I supposed to get in? Vault doors don't react to pretty smiles and flashing a bit of leg, you know?"

Kara couldn't quite suppress a smile at the other woman's level of exasperation. Could a dangerous, bomb-wielding criminal be called endearing?

"And what was so important about that information you 'unearthed' that blowing up a bank vault seemed like a reasonable course of action?"

She leaned forward as far as her bonds allowed, planting her elbows on the small table between them, and cocked her head to one side. "Oh, does that mean your boyfriend hasn't found the criminal clown lady's loot yet? I bet that hurts his feelings, does it? He really should smile more! Smiling always helps, no matter how grim and gritty you are! Just smile, and all your problems disappear!"

Kara frowned. "Is that why you are constantly smiling? Has it made your problems disappear?"

"But of course," the woman laughed. "Do I look like I have any problems to you?"

"Well, you are tied to a chair right now."

"Entirely possible, but not my point! The far more interesting question is, why exactly has your boyfriend brought me here? This isn't a police station, I know that much. Is this your private little love nest? Are you looking for someone to have a bit of extra fun with? Not that I am opposed to such things on principle, mind you, but a lady likes to be wooed a bit first."

Kara just shook her head, not bothering to correct the woman about the boyfriend thing. "Batman actually asked for my opinion on how to deal with you."

"Oh, is the big bad Bat at a loss, thanks to little old me? How odd! One would think a big, strong man like him would be able to deal with one little Joker."

Kara exited the make-shift interrogation room a while later to find the Batman waiting outside. The dark knight of Gotham was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, looking even grumpier than he usually did.

"Something vexing thee?" Kara asked, leaning against the wall as well in a similar pose, looking at him.

"The information Joker stole from that vault has turned up," he grumbled.

"Indeed? Where?"

"On the evening news. Apparently, one of Gotham's most popular and longest-serving city councilors has been running a prostitution ring for several years now. Most of the girls involved were minors. Someone anonymously sent in the ledgers for his business, which also detail who he paid off to keep his operation secret and a complete list of customers, too. The police is arresting him as we speak, I believe."

"And we are grumpy about this because…?" Kara inquired.

Batman pushed off the wall. "This isn't the first time she has pulled something like this. Six weeks ago she broke into the offices of a big stockbroker firm, caused almost a million dollars in property damage, all to find information about how they were paying their female employees significantly less than their male counterparts. Before that she blackmailed several cheating husbands and before that she beat a confession out of a man who had murdered his wife, leaving him tied up naked in front of the police department."

He fell silent and Kara studied his face.

"I think I see what your problem with this woman is, Bruce," she said.

"Do tell," Batman growled.

"She is someone who works outside the law. She performs criminal acts without any regard to social norms, all in the pursuit of her goals. She illegally acquires information and uses it to punish criminal and unethical behavior in others. She operates by scaring people, forcing confessions out of them, and isn't shy to use violence and damage property, either. Now who else do we both know who could easily fit into that description?"

She pretended to think very hard, even as her blue eyes fixated on him.

"It's not the same," he growled. "The woman is insane."

"Well, a case could be made that a grown man running around after dark dressed like bat..."

"I do what I do to capture criminals! The people she hurts..."

"…are criminals as well, Bruce, which you well now. Maybe some of them haven't technically broken any laws, I give you that, and a lot of them probably don't consider themselves criminals, either. Constantly treating women as if they are worth less is just the natural order of things in their minds. But do you agree, Bruce? Do you think the people this woman here has attacked are good people? Decent people that deserve protection?"

He didn't say anything for a long moment, then sighed, the grim expression of the Batman sliding off his face, to be replaced with weariness and uncertainty. "I honestly don't know what to do, Karen! That is why I am asking for your opinion. This woman is a criminal, there is no denying that. When she blew up that vault, a lot of people could have ended up hurt. Yet what she does... it's right! It might even be necessary. But it's still criminal!"

Superwoman nodded, understanding. "We always clash worst with the people who resemble us the closest. Tell me, what would you do if you encountered another Batman out there. Someone who operates just like you, breaks the laws just like you, but fights for justice doing it, just like you. How would you handle that?"

He sighed. "I became Batman so no one else would have to!"

"Bruce, you are not that stupid. Look at me! I have powers that allow me to literally move mountains and even I can't stop every catastrophe, every accident, every crime. Even if I were on the move 24/7, it would simply not be possible. You did not honestly think you could wipe out crime and corruption all on your own, did you?"

Batman stayed silent for a good long while. "So what do you think we should do about this Joker?"

"Well..."

"I hope you are not going to propose that we recruit her for your planned superhero alliance?"

Kara laughed, shaking her head. "No, certainly not. And to answer your question, I'm really not sure, either. She should be brought in, yes, but I remember what you told me that first night we met. How do you think her chances will be to survive in police custody long enough to stand trial?"

"The Gotham police isn't as bad anymore as it was back then," Batman said. "Gordon and others have managed to clean it up pretty good. But Joker hurt or embarrassed a lot of powerful and influential people in the last half year or so."

Kara didn't need to add 'just like you, Bruce'.

"She has fans, you know?" Batman told her. "She's only been active for a few months now, but she's already something of a folk hero here in Gotham, especially for women. There were even some who dressed like her during a recent demonstration."

More parallels, Kara knew. There was a street gang running around Gotham, calling themselves "Sons of the Bat", who had bat symbols painted on their faces and were dishing out their own brand of vigilante justice among the city's criminal element. Bruce had tried to curtail their activities several times now, but with mixed results.

"I think we can agree that she is doing some good. Do you think she is doing enough good to counterbalance the damage she's doing in the process?" Kara asked him.

"I don't know, Karen. Am I?"

She walked over to him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "You are a good man, Bruce! Never doubt that, ever! I wouldn't call you my friend if I didn't think so. And despite the many parallels between yourself and this woman in there, I don't think you are the same where it counts."

"Why not?"

Kara looked back towards the room. "I know what drove you to become the Batman, Bruce. I don't know what happened to Joker, probably something equally traumatic, but the difference lies in what you just told me a minute ago." She turned to look him in the eye. "You became the Batman so other people wouldn't have to. You became the Batman so other people wouldn't have to suffer as you did. You are fighting with all you have for a better world, a world where people won't be hurt, won't be left alone, and where children can grow up happy."

Kara looked down. "I don't know what happened to her, but she isn't looking for justice. Justice might well be a byproduct for her, but her main motivation is chaos. She wants to terrorize the city, especially the male part, and have fun doing it."

"Did she tell you that?" Batman asked.

"Not in so many words, no, but it was clear in how she acted. Especially when you were the topic. I think she might just be a tiny bit obsessed with you, Bruce."

Batman stared at her for a moment, then actually chuckled a bit. "Is she my Lex Luthor then?"

Kara considered this for a moment. "Maybe, but only in the obsession sense. Luthor is a different kind of animal entirely. I won't have any qualms throwing him in jail the moment we have everything we need. Joker, though? I'm really not sure. Personally I think she needs to be in therapy, not in a prison."

Batman sighed. "You're not going to take this off my hands, are you?"

Kara shook her head. "No, I won't. I think this is something you need to figure out for yourself, Bruce. I am sure you will make the right decision."

A moment later she was gone into the night, leaving a Dark Knight alone with his thoughts and no closer to a decision than he had been earlier.

The woman known only as the Joker whistled a jaunty tune as she walked down a darkened alley (there was an inordinate amount of such alleys in Gotham), heading for one of her hideouts. She was twirling an open handcuff around one finger as she skipped along. As she turned the corner, though, she collided with something very, very solid.

"Oh, you again!"

Superwoman was floating half a foot in the air right before her, arms crossed across her chest and giving her very best impression of imposing scary goddess. Which was indeed a very, very good impression, but with some room for improvement in Joker's mind.

"Can you have some of that heat vision fill your eyes without actually shooting lasers from them?" Joker asked. "That would just perfect the intimidating look, I'm sure."

A moment later Superwoman did exactly that and even the crazy clown princess of Gotham had to admit that she was maybe, possibly, just a tiny little bit intimidated. Just a smidgen maybe.

"Are you here to take me in again? Your boyfriend did let me go, you know."

"He did no such thing," Superwoman said, her feet touching the ground again and the red fading from her eyes. "He might have, we'll never know, but that explosion you arranged on the far end of town drew him away long enough for you to escape."

Joker cocked her head to the side. "Yeah, but let's be honest here, shall we? He wanted it that way! Just look at the way he dresses, he's just asking for it! He's so serious with his 'I'm the Night, I'm Vengeance, I'm the Batman' thing! Someone needs to tell him to smile some more!"

Superwoman grabbed the lapels of her coat and easily lifted her into the air one-handed. "Gonna take me in now, then?" Joker asked, gulping.

"I am tempted, actually, but no, I don't think so."

Now the Joker was not only intimidated, but surprised, too. "Really? How come?"

"Just a hunch, really, but I think your presence might actually have a net positive impact on things, Joker. I come from a world where men and women stood as equals in every way. Sadly this world here still has a long way to go in that regard. My own presence has hopefully done a bit to change that already, I like to think, but not enough. Maybe a little chaos is needed as well."

She opened her hand, allowing Joker to drop back to the ground. She stumbled a bit, but remained standing, smoothing out her coat a moment later.

"So here is the deal, Joker," Superwoman said. "You go on doing what you are doing. And you keep on making sure that no innocents are hurt or caught in the crossfire. Because the moment that changes, the moment I even get the faintest impression that you are losing your restraint and hurting innocent people, I will personally tear this city apart until I find you and throw you into the deepest, darkest cell I can find. Do we understand each other, buttercup?"

The Joker merely nodded, still smiling, but not feeling like laughing right now. Well, maybe a little, but the situation really wasn't calling for it.

"What about your boyfriend?" Joker asked, even as Superwoman was beginning to turn away from her. "I get the impression he is not part of this deal? I'm fine with that, mind you. Girl power and all that, no sharing a sister's secrets! Estrogen solidarity! But... you know... he's so serious and all…"

Superwoman smiled. "Who knows? Maybe you can get him to smile a bit more often."

A moment later she was gone into the night, leaving a clown princess skipping deeper into the alley, laughing and laughing. Because now a laugh was definitely called for.

End Chapter 13

Author's Note: the female Joker portrayed in this story is inspired by Geraldine DeRuiter's series of tweets about how a modern take on the Joker should be a woman threatening the patriarchy. It led to a truly epic triggering of fragile male egos for whom the very notion of a female Joker seemed to be the worst thing ever in the history of stuff. It was hilarious and scary at the same time. So my hat's off to Geraldine DeRuiter. I hope I have somewhat managed to turn her four-tweet idea into a compelling character. Oh, and just making it clear: this Joker here is NOT a gender-bent Joker from any existing version of Batman, it's an entirely separate character. The man who became the Joker in all those other versions of the DC universe is presumably alive and well here in my little universe, never having been immersed in acid baths or the evils of society.

Oh, and just in case this hasn't entirely become clear in this chapter: Superwoman is different from Superman. Superman was mostly about protecting the world and keeping it as it is. Superwoman wants to protect the world, too, but also to change and improve it. She wants to push Earth towards being as advanced as Krypton while avoiding her own people's mistakes. As of right now, Kara believes that the Joker might well be a catalyst for positive change. Whether she is right about that... we'll see.