Something's gone

You withdraw and I'm not strong like before

I was deep inside of you

I can go nowhere

I burn candles and stare at a ghost

Deep inside of you

And some great need in me

Starts to bleed

I've lost myself

There's nothing left

It's all gone

"Deep Inside of You"

Third Eye Blind

May 16, 2036

Burbank, California

Chuck and Sarah were making their way through the crowd towards their son and his new fiancee. Not everyone in attendance had been aware of the proposal, though Stephen had chosen to do it in front of everyone. Not Chuck's cup of tea personally, but though his son had a lot of his personality traits, he was his own person. As they approached, Chuck could see Hannah and Jacques already right there with the couple.

Hannah had her daughter in a fierce hug. Cozette was tall, an inch taller than Sarah, and she towered over her mother, who was quite petite. Hannah had chosen to let her hair go completely white, a short bob that framed her face at her chin. "Oh, I'm happy for you, sweetheart," she gushed. "You're a very lucky girl," she added, lifting her head and smiling at Stephen, who was a shade or two redder than normal, his gaze shifting slightly towards the floor.

Sarah was right beside Chuck, brushing up against him, reaching for his hand. She exchanged a private glance with her husband, full of meaning. Seeing Hannah happy like that was a relief. She had been driving the vehicle when her son had been killed in a collision with a drunk driver who'd run a red light. Hannah herself had almost died, airlifted from the accident scene to the hospital. Chuck and Sarah had come to the hospital after receiving a phone call in the middle of the night from Jacques. Better than anyone, Sarah understood what a mother could go through after losing her child. Granted, the situation was different from her own experience–an unborn baby and a child known and loved to the bottom of his mother's soul for 13 years–but the two women had grown close, bonded over the tragedy.

Even now, with a radiant smile on her face, Chuck could still see the haunted quality to her eyes, the specter of sadness that she carried around inside her at all times. Wounds like that never completely healed, he knew. She was lucky to be surrounded by so many people who cared so deeply about her. Chuck just wasn't her and her husband's boss–he was part of their family.

And, now it seemed it was official. Strange when he thought of the past, but that was so long ago and so much had happened in between that it didn't faze him any longer.

"Ooh, let me see," Sarah gushed, reaching out her hand to Cozette.

The tall brunette beamed, then thrust her hand, newly adorned with an enormous diamond in a platinum setting. The ring was square, princess cut. "It's beautiful, isn't it, Mrs. Bartowski?" Cozette giggled.

"Mom," Sarah insisted, grabbing the younger girl by her shoulders. Sarah reached back and patted Chuck on the chest. "Dad," Sarah said, indicating the days of being extra polite were over. Cozette hugged her tightly.

"Don't worry, Dad, I asked," Stephen muttered to his father as he stepped closer. Chuck nodded once in acknowledgment.

"He certainly did, Chuck," Jacques said with a brisk laugh. "It wasn't necessary, honestly. But still very thoughtful." Asking her father for his daughter's hand. Old fashioned, but something Chuck had mentioned to his son the moment he had realized the huge stash of money his son had in a separate account was for the purpose of buying an engagement ring.

Chuck smiled. "All I know is I would hope anyone who wanted to marry either of my daughters would do the same, that's all," he said.

"You mean Max, Chuck?" Sarah teased, looking over her shoulder at him. On the edge of the dance floor Sarah could see her daughter, Ally, hanging on Morgan's son, Max.

Chuck sighed. "You think so?" Chuck asked, amazed at the irony of the fact that his daughter and Morgan's son had been dating for years.

"She's been in love with Max since they were five, Chuck," Sarah said, stressing it as a definitive comparison to her son and Cozette.

"I wouldn't say love," Chuck teased. How did anyone know at five years old that they'd found their soulmate? He didn't know, only that when you had, you knew. Maybe it really was that simple. Hell, there were a lot worse things than being a father-in-law to Morgan's son.

The Robert family started whisking their daughter away, but she stopped and pecked Stephen on the lips before she left with her parents. He blushed in the company of his parents, even at that. Alone with Stephen and Sarah, Chuck felt ok to say what he'd been thinking. "I'm happy for you, Son. But you know…you guys are very young. Twenty-five years ago, your mother and I were 30. It's a huge, life changing thing…getting married."

Sarah scowled, wondering why Chuck seemed to be lecturing his son. Was he upset that she had known about the proposal, and he hadn't? She watched her son fight to not roll his eyes at his father. "I know, Dad. We talked about it for a long time. We've been together together for eight years. It's different from you and mom. Eight years after you met her, you had me and Ally and Abby."

Stephen was right, of course. That was the difference between meeting your soulmate when you were 13 and when you were 26. "What about…nnh nnh," Chuck mumbled unintelligibly. Stephen knew that was a classified reference, spoken out loud.

Stephen had been working for the CIA, officially, since graduating from Stanford when he was 21. Unofficially, Stephen had been working for the CIA since he was nine, passing information as he flashed on it through his parents' anti-cyberterrorism firm with exclusive government contracts. Casey was still the head of the NSA, though General Diane Beckman had retired about ten years ago. Jane Bentley was still the head of the CIA, but was due to retire in another year or so.

Cozette, who was two years older than Stephen in school, had attended USC and achieved a degree in criminology. She had worked for Carmichael Industries once she graduated, while Stephen was in school. Only a handful of people knew Stephen's true story, his inborn Intersect that had been increasing in strength and capacity his entire life. It wasn't so much that he had been recruited while at Stanford, but he had allowed himself to be recruited, after a long discussion with his parents.

Jane Bentley had approached Cozette of her own accord. Since Stephen's Intersect functioned differently than anything the U.S. government had ever used before, they were in new territory when it came to the Intersect Team and how it would be deployed. Casey had made sure he was in charge of the project, mostly because Stephen was Chuck's son. Because Stephen had been with Cozette for so long, because his Intersect had been developing as he'd grown, his Intersect worked better when he was with Cozette. Almost like it had developed around her and his feelings for her. It wasn't outlandish to believe, considering Chuck's Intersect had been temperamentally emotionally influenced, at least when it came to Sarah.

Chuck knew Stephen would have walked away rather than lose her. But she was good at being a spy, she enjoyed it, and she wanted to be with his son. It had been her father who had been slow to come around. Hannah had done the final convincing, telling her husband that she should be allowed to live her life the way she wanted.

Cozette had just returned from training at the Farm a month ago. That had prompted the moving in together…and now the proposal.

Only a select few people here knew the truth about Stephen. His sisters and his best friend didn't even know, just understanding that their brother worked for the government. Mary had a suspicion, but being retired herself, wasn't privy to the information any longer. Casey had promised he would do everything within his power to keep them stationed closeby.

Chuck and Sarah had left the CIA literally the day before they had been married, so he had no real frame of reference for what it would have been like to be married and doing missions. It had been difficult with his own firm, but more of that difficulty came from being a small, unknown agency rather than the fact that they were a couple. No matter what, they always worked well together, and did well with a lot of time together and very little time apart. Not everyone could stand that much togetherness.

Chuck at least knew that same dynamic was in play for his son and his future wife. They had been inseparable since before they were teenagers. The years Stephen had been at Stanford, 356 miles away from her, had been the hardest on the both of them. It worked for them, so Chuck never questioned it.

"Congrats, buddy," Griffin called as he crossed the floor towards them. "Hey, Mr. Bartowski, congratulations by the way," Griffin added. It took Chuck a second to realize Stephen's friend was congratulating him on their anniversary.

"Thanks for coming, Griff," Chuck told him, clapping him on the shoulder.

"When can we start planning the bachelor party?" Griffin said with a snicker. Oh, Griffin was the Morgan to his son's Chuck if ever there were such a thing. "Your son spent nine years in the library and only came up for air for Zette," he added, using the nickname his son used for her.

"Have you met my son?" Chuck teased.

"Settling down…at 23. You know, I asked him if she was pregnant," Griffin added, snickering under his breath. It was an odd conversation to be having with his son's best friend.

So did I, Chuck thought but didn't say. He'd asked his son when he found out about the ring. Stephen had turned beet red and nearly fainted.

"Hey, when you know, you know," Chuck said, bouncing on his feet with his hands in his pockets.

"Is that how it was with you and Mrs. Bartowski?" he asked innocently.

Chuck felt like he had told that story a thousand times, but maybe never to Griffin specifically. "We were a little older. I fixed her phone," he said, sighing as he looked at his wife across the room. "But it was love at first sight."

XXX

Sarah turned, gasping in surprise at the sound of someone opening her bedroom door. She had been standing in front of the mirror on the inside of the closet door admiring how she looked in her wedding gown. She had lost that bet…and Chuck had technically won the bet, which meant he could help her out of this puffy, billowing dress that filled the space between the closet and the bed. The only light in the room came from the bedside lamp, warmly filling the room with soft light.

Chuck stood in the doorway of their bedroom, the house and all the space behind him dark. The guests were gone, the house was quiet, the girls were asleep. The sight of her standing there in her wedding dress made his chest constrict to the point where he almost couldn't breathe. With her hair long and loose and falling across both bare shoulders, it brought forth the memory of how she had looked in the hotel at the airport, where they had stayed on their wedding night before leaving for France the next day. Back then, he had reached up and unpinned her hair, standing in front of her breathless as she'd shaken her head back and forth. Her hair looked just as tousled here, making her look so beautiful it was almost painful.

"Wow…" he breathed, stumbling into the room instead of just walking, closing the door behind him a little too loudly.

"Ssh," she admonished, rushing forward, the dress rustling as she moved. "You'll wake up the girls," she whispered.

"Honey, they're not five," he said with a laugh. "I'm pretty sure they know what we're doing–"

She silenced him with a kiss, grabbing his face in both hands, smiling against his lips as he hummed softly. She was gentle, but he felt her tongue flicking against his lower lip. Oh boy, he thought. "Hold that thought," he whispered, pulling away from her slightly. He turned, reaching for the top drawer of his dresser. "I wanted to give you this first." He turned back to her with a long, slender royal blue velvet box in his hand.

"Oh, Chuck, you didn't–" she gushed.

"Yes, I did," he added, sliding the box into her hand. "Open it," he prodded.

When she flipped up the lid, the sight inside took her breath away. A solitaire diamond pendant in a platinum setting with the accompanying chain lay nestled against the blue velvet inside the box. "Oh my god…it's beautiful," she gushed, looking up at him and smiling brightly.

His smile was brilliant in return. "I know 25 years is technically silver…but I gave you that for Christmas in 2008 before we were even married…so…"

He meant his mother's charm bracelet, she thought. She blinked hard as her eyes misted. "How many years is platinum?" she asked.

"Seventy," he answered right away. "Which we may not make it, let's be honest. We would be over 100, the both of us.

She was both shocked that he knew off the top of his head and a little sad at his words. "What about diamonds?" she whispered, her voice a little unsteady.

"Sixty," he piped right back. "Can we agree on that, Mrs. Bartowski?" he teased. "This is just an advance."

"Deal," she said with a smile, and then wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. He pulled away abruptly, reaching into the box and pulling the necklace out. He set the box on the dresser and then reached behind her neck to fasten the chain. The large, gleaming diamond sat in the hollow at the base of her throat, glistening against her bare skin.

"I always think of you when I see a diamond, any diamond," he murmured.

"Because I'm flawless?" she teased.

He looked down at her necklace, then back up into her eyes. "It reminds me that as horrible as difficulties in life can be, they can still create something beautiful."

That did it, she thought, laughing even as the tears spilled down her cheeks. He had a way with words, he always had. Her life, their lives together…all of it, as perfect as the diamond around her neck.

He pulled her closer, gently reaching for the zipper and fasteners on the back of her dress. On their first night together as a married couple, she had worn a complex set of lingerie, all white, underneath her wedding gown, that he recalled had taken him a deliciously long time to free her from. As he pulled the zipper, its soft buzzing the only other sound in the room aside from their breathing, his hand brushed against the soft skin at the small of her back. She had already undressed from tonight, and then put this on. There was nothing underneath it.

He tucked his hands inside the open zipper, sliding his hand over the smoothness of her hips as he pulled the dress down. She leaned forward, pulling down the knot in his tie and flicking the buttons of his shirt open at the same time. She reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissed him, hungrily this time. The dress fell in a white puddle at her feet.

She moved her mouth from his lips, down his chin and onto his neck. She peeled his shirt back over his shoulders, letting it fall in a heap behind him. Then her lips were on his chest, kissing him on his breastbone, feeling the pounding of his heart under her mouth. He sighed with contentment, reaching his hands up into her hair and tracing his fingers along her scalp. She undid his belt buckle and the waistband on his pants. She knocked him backwards onto the bed, then shimmied him out of his remaining clothing until nothing separated their bodies. All she wore was the diamond around her neck.

He rolled his body on top of hers, holding her face in his hand as he kissed her deeply. "I love you, baby," he whispered against her mouth. It was sweet and erotic at the same time.

He slid his hand down her side, over her hip. Several years past menopause, Sarah's body was sometimes a little slower to respond to what her mind and heart wanted. Being with him now was both exciting and comfortable, something that could only come from years and years of being together like this. Chuck had always been patient, never more so now when he knew she needed longer to be ready. She touched him in the same intimate way, listening to the sound of his breathing, moaning softly as her desire and arousal slowly built.

She rolled him onto his back and connected herself to him, leaning forward onto his chest. There were no words necessary, not after so long. The slightest change in her breathing told him everything he needed to know, if something was uncomfortable or when she needed more of something, less of another. She pressed her mouth against his, hungrily devouring his lips, her sometimes tenuous state detracting nothing from her fundamental desire for him. He gripped her hips, firmly but gently, facilitating her motion until he felt her muscles clench, her whole body shudder against him, and heard the soft squeaking of her muted pleasure.

He held her tightly against his chest, then softly rolled her onto her back, holding himself up on his elbows above her. His eyes were beautiful depths of softness, all of his features awash with love and desire. Twenty-five, 60, 70, 1000 years…all of the time was too short, compared to how long she wanted to just be with him, like this, fused together and completely at peace. She touched the side of his face, running her fingers along his cheekbone, his jawline, and his lips. "I love you, Chuck," she whispered, any sound louder not possible without her voice cracking.

He closed his eyes and kissed her, gently increasing the feeling of heat as he began moving inside her. She wrapped her legs around him, clinging to him breathlessly until he brought her with him to the pinnacle, then collapsed gently on top of her, his weight tight but pleasant on her chest. When she caught her breath, she rolled towards him. She needed to tell him. "I'm glad Ellie knows, Chuck. I'm so worried about you." She touched his face again, watching as he closed his eyes in resignation.

"I'm sorry, Honey," he sighed. "Ellie used me as a lab rat in March and she didn't find anything serious. I just thought it wasn't anything serious."

Her voice was teary. "Ellie didn't say anything there…but nothing benign causes memory loss like that. Strokes, encephalitis, early onset Alzheimer's, aneurysms, tumors," Sarah rambled.

He reached for her and pulled her against him for comfort. "All of which Ellie ruled out in March when I fainted. Pre-diabetes. That's it. At my age, something was bound to happen, Sarah."

She wasn't convinced. Her only comfort was that now Ellie was involved, she wouldn't rest until she figured out what was wrong with her husband. She nestled against his chest, then shifted while she was resting with his shoulder as her pillow. She drifted slowly to sleep.

XXX

She had no idea what had awoken her, but she stirred, feeling the cool sheet beneath her cheek, the chill of the cotton sheet all along the length of her body. Chuck wasn't beside her. She spun so quickly her head swam in her half-awake state, to look at the clock on the nightstand. It was three in the morning. Their room was dark, the bedroom door open and the hallway beyond was dark as well. She looked but couldn't see any light from even under the bathroom door, thinking he had left briefly. She reached beside her, touching his pillow. It was cold, and even smoothed out…like he hadn't been in their bed for a while. Her heart almost skipped a beat. When he had fainted in March, she had found him on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night.

Frantic, she scrambled for her robe that was draped across the foot of the bed. She swung her legs to the side and pushed the blanket back, wrestling to pull the robe down her arms. She was on her feet, fastening the sash on the robe when she heard footsteps. She opened her mouth to call him, but she stopped, suddenly hyper focused on the sound of the footsteps. Heavier…with a completely different gait pattern.

It wasn't Chuck.

That realization turned her to ice. Her daughters were in the next room. The alarm hadn't sounded…where was Chuck? Her mind was reeling and she couldn't think. She ran to the dresser, knowing she had a rather long sequence to extricate her gun from the safe it was in. She hadn't even held it in her hands other than to target shoot with Casey in years. The footsteps were closing. She fumbled, forcing herself to focus.

"What are you doing?"

She whirled, shrieking and gasping in surprise. Everything was still pitch dark, but she saw Chuck's silhouette in the bedroom doorway. His hand was on the doorknob. He had asked that question.

But his voice… It wasn't Chuck. The tone of his speech, his inflection, even his accent…it was Chuck's voice, but it wasn't Chuck. She couldn't breathe, couldn't move. She stood there, completely paralyzed. "Ch–Chuck?" she squeaked out in terror.

"I asked you what you were doing," he said, his face still veiled in shadow. His voice was sharper, cold, with an undertone of menace she had never heard from him in all the time she had known him.

She was afraid to tell him she thought someone was in the house…that she was searching for her gun. Her knees knocked together in fear at the thought… someone was in their house.

She had no idea who it was. Or where her husband had gone.

Her lack of response angered him. She heard him growl under his breath. He took several steps towards her. A thin strip of light from beside the shade, caused by the headlights of a passing car, slowly moved along the wall, and eventually crossed his face. What Sarah saw froze her all the way to her soul. His face, angry and set, looking like her husband, but a stranger at the same time…a vacant look in his eyes.

Desperate, she ran past him, bumping into him in the dark. She whacked her knee against his leg and he growled. She ran into the hallway and then into her daughters' room, slamming the door hard and locking it from the inside. She had left her phone and her gun in her bedroom. Ally or Abby had a phone in here, she thought quickly. She waited at the door, pressing her ear against the wood, listening. Her mind was racing. Should she call Ellie? Casey? She felt like she was still asleep and this was a nightmare… she was hiding in her daughters' room…hiding from Chuck…because she was afraid.

She heard muffled noises, one or both of the girls beginning to stir at the disruption she had caused by running into their room. She shushed them loudly, holding out her palm while she pressed her ear to the door.

No footsteps…no words…then a loud thump rumbling… like his body hitting the floor.

She grabbed for the doorknob, her actions jerky and choppy as she frantically tried to unlock the door. She knew she had woken the girls, as she heard more soft mumbling. The door opened and she ran. Chuck was on his back, unconscious on their bedroom floor. She flicked on the lights and ran to kneel beside him. She reached for his pulse, allowing herself to breathe again when she felt it pounding beneath her finger. His skin was cold and clammy. She pulled back his eyelid, seeing only the whites of his eyes. Just like before.

"Mom?" Ally asked from the doorway, her voice high-pitched and hysterical.

"Call an ambulance, Ally. And then call Aunt Ellie," Sarah said, her voice heavy with dread.