Author's Note: Sorry this took so long. Songwriting is hard.
In a carefully traced, sweeping arc, the flying coach descended from the sky and rolled to a stop, at the outskirts of the entrance to the traveling carnival. Sofia flung open the carriage door and hopped onto the well-worn village path. Her siblings joined her on either side, no less excited. Sofia cast her gaze against the huge, sprawling plot of land where the traveling carnival has set up. She could see all sorts of games and rides and activities, bright vermillion stalls crowded nearby one another, each packed with swarms of people, adults and children alike. At the edges of her vision there was a stall whose back wall was covered in balloons, as happy-go-lucky carnival-goers threw darts at the balloons, hoping to pop several. Prizes of every shade of the rainbow flashed in Sofia's eyes, stuffed animals and pool toys and rubber balls and anything Sofia could have dreamed of. The newest Enchancian princess took a deep breath, smelling the frosty scent of funnel cake and corn dogs and ice cream from one of the half-dozen food stalls scattered across the carnival. The pupils of her bright blue eyes widened. "Woah," she breathed, overcome by a wave of nostalgia.
Two adult figures came to stand by the trio. "Exciting, isn't it?" remarked the king. Queen Miranda chuckled softly.
"So exciting!" breathed Sofia. She turned to her two parents, upbeat. "Where are we going first?" Then she spied the strange clothing both the king and queen were wearing. "And why are you two wearing jackets?" Sofia added. "October's only just started." Indeed, both the king and queen wore heavy coats with the hoods pulled up, so that only the shadows of their faces were visible in the midmorning light. Both also wore surprisingly casual jeans and boots, as if they were on a winter hiking trip instead of an early autumn jaunt to the village.
King Roland smiled. "The two of us are undercover," he explained. "Your mother and I wanted your birthday to be a special day for you. With so many people around, if everyone knew the king and queen were nearby, they'd never leave us alone. So for today, we're pretending to be just your parents instead of the rulers of the country."
Queen Miranda finished the explanation. "Of course, you three children aren't quite as popular as us, so you needn't worry about all that. I'm sure you'll all enjoy today's festivities happy and uninterrupted."
Sofia's gaze locked onto the crowd of merry townspeople. That was probably true for James—he was popular, but not that popular. And most of the townspeople knew Sofia from when she had lived in the village. But Amber?
"Actually," began Sofia, "I'm not so sure—"
"Princess Amber?" shouted someone from the crowd in excitement. A familiar little witch, wearing a green-and-purple robe, darted out of the busy crowd, headed towards the royal family. She stopped in front of Amber, pulling the tall princess into a hug. "I'm so happy to see you again!" exclaimed Lucinda. She wriggled out of the hug. "You too, Sofin," she added.
"It's nice to see you too, Lucinda," greeted Sofia.
The nearby crowd broke into a sea of muttering. "Did she say Princess Amber?" said one voice in the crowd.
"I've always wanted to meet the princess," murmured another.
All at once, the crowd broke into a mad dash towards the blond-haired princess, who had elected to wear her silver tiara, easily marking her as a royal. Children of all ages surrounded Amber, waving notebooks and pens and cameras her way.
"Would you sign my notebook, Princess Amber?" asked one of the schoolchildren, holding a pen.
Amber smiled gently. "Of course I will," she responded, scribbling her name on the offered sheet.
"Mine too! You're my faaaaaavorite princess!" added another young girl, bursting with energy.
"And mine!" called someone else. Amber looked rather overwhelmed, but quite happy at the spectacle.
James grabbed Sofia's hands and pulled them both away from the rapidly growing circle around their sister. "We'd better get out of here before they start turning to us, next!" he said. He'd decided to dress down for the day, wearing a comfortable-looking long-sleeved T-shirt and some khaki pants.
"What about Amber?" asked Sofia.
"She'll catch up later," responded James. "Whatcha wanna do first? Do you wanna go find that mirror maze?"
"Actually," interrupted their dad, who had found his way around the crowd to them, "I was thinking we could start the day off here, with the games and activities and tests of skill." He gestured to the group of stalls in front of them, throwing darts and miniature dazzleball and ring tosses and games of chance and milk bottle tosses and dozens of other games, each shining with prizes. "What do you say, Sofin?"
"That does sound exciting…" admitted Sofia.
Her mom joined the group, smiling under her heavy jacket. "Oh, sweetie, don't you think it would be more fun if you started with some of the more simple activities, first?" she suggested. "There's no need to tire yourself out so early in the day. We could go on a relaxing carousel ride together instead, just like when you were younger."
Sofia blinked. "I guess I wouldn't mind that, either," she agreed.
"Carousels?" laughed King Roland. "Sofin's a grown prince now, not a baby." Her dad stepped up to Sofia, giving the young princess a hearty pat on the back. "Where's your sense of adventure, Sofin? I'm sure there's a horseshoe toss around here that'd be much more fun than a carousel."
Sofia didn't even get a chance to respond before her mother snapped back. "Really, Roland, Sofin is still a child," Queen Miranda argued. "Let the boy relax for a few hours, would you? It is his birthday, after all. He's supposed to enjoy it."
"That's what I'm saying!" retorted the king. "Sofin's a strong prince now, isn't he? I'm sure he'd much rather do something intense and fun than spend the day going around a circle."
The queen gasped, scandalized. "He is my son, you know," she responded. "I know what Sofin likes and doesn't like. I've known him much longer than you have."
Sofia looked between her mom and dad, bewildered. This sort of argument was so wildly unlike them that Sofia wasn't even sure what to say. Her eyes met James's concerned gaze, and she mouthed 'Help' silently.
James straightened his back, rising to his full height, which was still rather short. "There's more than enough time for Sofin to do both, isn't there?" he interrupted the two, silencing them. "We can start off with the games and activities, and then we'll try the carousel ride afterwards. There's no need to…to…" James struggled for a second to find the right words. "There's no need to go at each other's throats over it."
The king and queen met eyes, coming to a silent accord. "I suppose that's okay," acquiesced Sofia's mom, looking down. She turned to Sofia. "I'll be waiting near the carousel once you get tired of all these activities." Then she strode away into the crowd of townspeople, hastily.
Sofia exchanged a confused glance with James. What was that all about?
Her dad, for his part, just smiled widely at the pair. "Well, it's just the three of us now," he said, sounding lighthearted. "A boy's day out, if you will."
"Awesome!" cheered James. Sofia hid her wince.
The hours seemed to drag by. Sofia wanted to enjoy herself, but her thoughts kept drifting to her mom and Amber, who'd gone their separate ways. Where were they, anyways? She'd wanted to spend her time at the carnival as a family. Not that her dad and James weren't great fun. She did like tossing rings onto bottles and competing with James to see who could swing a toy hammer the hardest. But her mood was a little soured by all the 'prince' comments her dad was making. James seemed to soak them up, but at each one, Sofia retreated just a little more into her shell. And by the time they'd almost made a complete loop around the carnival games, Sofia realized she wasn't having fun anymore.
King Roland dragged the children to one, final carnival game: a dunk tank, attached to an archery station. Before Sofia could so much as protest, the king shoved a bow and arrow into her hands and climbed up to the top of the dunk tank. He pointed at the painted target nearby, which had a giant circle in its center labeled 'DUNK'.
"How about archery?" called Sofia's dad from his place atop the dunk tank. "Come on, Sofin, shoot that target!"
Sofia raised the bow slowly. She wasn't physically tired, but her hands shook with weariness. Nocking an arrow, Sofia tried to pull the string back, but just couldn't muster up the effort. Why was she going around all these carnival games, anyways? She didn't even want to dunk her dad in a tank of water.
Mistaking her hesitation as tiredness, King Roland called out words of encouragement. "Put some more back into it!" he called, full of enthusiasm. "Any good prince needs to be skilled with a bow!"
Something snapped inside Sofia. Why was it always 'prince this' and 'prince that'? Why couldn't she just shoot a bow because she wanted to shoot a bow? Why did it have to always be about being a prince? Anger churned in her chest, and she just barely stopped herself from voicing her frustrations aloud. Instead, with a huff, she handed the bow and arrow to James, turning away. "I'm going to find mom," she declared firmly. Then she stormed away, not looking back.
Sofia strode into the sea of people, pushing her way through the crowd. Tears began to form at the edges of her eyes, but she squashed them down. She was not going to cry. She was a big girl now. She could take a little teasing from her brother and dad. After all, James was shining under his dad's praise. Sofia just needed to act like her brother James: happy and proud of himself.
The princess was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realize she'd broken away from the crowd until she stumbled straight into someone, falling to the ground. "Sorry!" squeaked Sofia, rising to her feet and brushing the dirt off of her pants. She looked up, noticing she'd bumped into a tall girl wearing a white T-shirt and a light jacket in a soft, pastel pink. The girl looked only a few years older than Sofia herself.
"Woah!" said the girl, holding a hand out to steady Sofia. "I didn't even see you there! I'm Phoebe," she introduced herself. "And you are?"
"I'm Sofia," responded Sofia on reflex, then bit her tongue. Gah! She was dressed as a boy! "I mean, I'm Sofin," she corrected hastily. "Sorry, slip of the tongue."
The girl gave a conspirative wink. "Got it, Sofin," she responded, with a lighthearted smirk that suggested she didn't quite believe the mis-spoken name had been an accident.
Sofia wasn't really in the mood for idle conversation. "Anyways, I should get going," she started.
"Wait, why so soon?" interrupted Phoebe. "And what's with that frown on your face? You're at the carnival! There's all sorts of fun stuff to do here!"
Sofia sighed. Seemed like she was getting dragged into a conversation whether she wanted to or not. "I know," she responded. "But this isn't the sort of frown that can be fixed with a merry-go-round or a stuffed toy. It's the sort of frown that's been growing and growing until you just don't know if you'll ever be able to smile again."
"Ooh," said the girl, not at all perturbed at Sofia's sudden admission. "It's the deep, dark, kind of frown. And I'm guessing you don't wanna talk about it?" She didn't even wait for Sofia's response. "Yeah, I get that a lot."
Sofia blinked. "You get random people you've never met talking about being sad a lot?" she asked, surprised.
"I'm the carnival's fortune teller," announced Phoebe, brightly. "Making sad people not-so-sad is sorta my thing."
Sofia gave her another look. Bright white T-shirt with a red heart on the front. Light half-open pink jacket. Comfortable jeans. No black shawl. No turban.
"You don't really look like a fortune teller," Sofia pointed out.
"That's because I'm not in costume," replied Phoebe. "Trust me, when I'm all dressed up, I do the whole fortune-teller thing super duper well." She raised her arms to the sky, pretending to stare off into the distance. "I see…a great secret coming to life…" she chanted, as if she were reading a prophecy.
"Well, if you were really a fortune teller, you'd be able to tell me that my future is pretty downcast," snapped Sofia, annoyed. She knew it was unfair to take out her frustration on someone who was just passing by, but she was tired and was in a snarky mood.
"Sorry, can't tell fortunes without my crystal ball," explained Phoebe, totally ignoring Sofia's angry tone. "But, I can give you the next best thing."
"What's that?" deadpanned Sofia.
"A song!" exclaimed Phoebe, excited. And before Sofia could do so much as protest, the brown-haired girl broke into a fast-paced and upbeat melody.
"When I was just a little girl, the circus came on by,
I saw the fortune teller and I gave his act a try,
He clapped his hands together, said my talent was a treat,
And if I joined the carnival, he'd offer me his seat,
So I cut my ties and waved goodbyes to all my pals and friends,
Packed my clothes and joined the roads, searching for new ends,
And sometimes I was lonely, and sometimes I was scared,
And when my mentor said goodbye I didn't feel prepared.
But I kept my eyes wide open, I wiped away my frown,
I cut away my moping and I turned my luck around.
Far beyond the twists and turns, and far beyond the bend,
I kept my spirits high and I did find my happy end."
Sofia bounced on the balls of her feet. The song was catchy.
"The village people came to me, all sad and strained and stressed,
I looked into my crystal ball and saw their lives were blessed,
And even though some futures weren't easy, weren't fun,
I tried to find that happy path for each and every one,
They kept their eyes wide open, they wiped away their frowns,
They cut away their moping and their luck did turn around,
Far beyond the twists and turns, and far beyond the bend,
I'd tell them 'keep your spirits high and find your happy end'."
The fortune teller sighed after finishing the verse, bending to her knees and cupping Sofia's chin in one hand. She sang again, this time slow and somber.
"You see, little Sofia, there's a dawn beyond the night,
And even if your future's grim, there'll always be a light.
Your story's hit a troubled bit, your destiny's adrift
But wear a grin and you'll begin to feel your spirits lift
Just keep your eyes wide open, and wipe away that frown,
'Cause one day all your hoping's gonna turn your luck around
Far beyond the twists and turns, and far beyond the bend,
If your ending isn't happy, then you'll find that happy end."
The final notes echoed away, the fortune teller still wearing her bright, upbeat grin. And to Sofia's surprise, she was smiling too.
"Thank you," blurted Sofia, not totally sure how to express her gratitude. There really was nothing like a song to make her feel better. She'd follow Phoebe's advice: even when she was feeling sad or blue, she'd just need to keep smiling.
"Aw, it was nothing," answered Phoebe, grinning. "Now, I've got a crystal ball to find, and I bet you've got somewhere to be, too. See you around, kiddo." She waved goodbye, heading off towards a different series of tents.
Sofia took a deep breath, holding her arms together. Phoebe was right. She did have somewhere to be, and that was finding her mom and the carousel, and spending the rest of her birthday happy and not needing to worry about being a princess or a prince.
It took some searching, but eventually Sofia stumbled across the section of the carnival devoted to kids' rides and games. Her mom sat at a bench nearby one of the carousels, leafing through the pages of a thin book and smiling softly to herself. Sofia stepped forward, curious as to what her mom was reading.
"Hi mom!" greeted Sofia. "What's that?"
Her mom closed her book, eyes lighting up in surprise. "Sofin, sweetie, I'm so happy you came!" She lifted the book in both hands, then gave it to Sofia. "This is my birthday gift to you," she explained. "It's a book of photos for all the times we've spent together, ever since you were a little child."
Sofia flipped somewhere to the center of the thin book, and her mom was right. Framed in the pages were pictures Sofia remembered of when she'd first come to the castle and met her new family. Sofia traced her finger across a picture taken at the Friday dance the week she'd first arrived. Her whole family, James and Amber included, stood against a purple backdrop. Sofia, in the center, smiled and waved brightly at the camera. She remembered how happy she had been on that day.
"I love it, mom," gasped Sofia, drawing her mother into a big hug.
The queen smiled and lovingly rubbed a hand through Sofia's hair. She took a seat back down at the bench and motioned for Sofia to do the same. Once they were both sitting, her mom opened the book of photos to a place near the very start.
Sofia gasped in recognition. "That's me and you at the carnival!" she exclaimed. "When we went and I was too young to remember most of it!" She pointed at a picture. "That's when Ruby and Jade and I went bobbing for apples!"
Her mom smiled and pointed at a second picture. "You looked so happy when you finally found one."
The picture showed Sofia with her teeth triumphantly enclosed around a bright red apple, the front of her face soaked in water, as Ruby and Jade, equally wet, cheered on from the sidelines. It was very cute, but Sofia couldn't help but grimace a little at the picture. Had she really looked so lanky as a child? Her hair had been so short back then, and instead of being in the loose, pulled-back style that Sofia usually wore, it was swept to one side, giving her an extremely boyish look. The fact that she was wearing a light T-shirt and a pair of boy's shorts only added to Sofia's embarrassment.
"Or how about this one?" continued Queen Miranda, oblivious to Sofia's internal insecurities. She pointed at a picture of Sofia jumping from behind one of the carnival stalls, arms outstretched, teeth bared, trying to scare Ruby and Jade, who were both waiting in line. The picture next to it was of the three children laughing off the joke, but Sofia couldn't stop staring at how she'd looked in the first picture. WIth her arms out like that, she looked just like any other young boy that age. Sofia couldn't imagine ever doing something like that now, and she couldn't remember ever having been so adventurous as a kid. The Enchanchian princess cringed, trying to look elsewhere.
"And don't forget when we rode the carousel together," added Sofia's mom. She pointed at a photo of Sofia riding the carousel, sitting in her mom's lap, as the painted horses bobbed up and down while rotating. Sofia stared at the young boy in her mother's arms. Was that really what she had looked like, all those years ago? The boy in the picture looked so happy. He didn't look like he was unhappy being a boy instead of a girl. When had that changed? When had she started to realize that being a boy wasn't what she wanted?
"You were so happy that day," continued the queen, breaking Sofia out of her reverie. "I just wanted to spend today reliving all that wonderful fun." She stood to her feet, taking Sofia's hand. "Let's go ride the carousel together," she continued. "Just the two of us, like it used to be."
Sofia froze. She didn't want anything to do with how it 'used to be'. That boy in the book of pictures wasn't her. That wasn't how she acted or looked or wanted to be remembered as. She was a girl. And when Sofia looked up into her mom's loving brown eyes, she couldn't help but wonder if that love was for Sofia, as she was, or for the carefree boy, Sofin, who her mom had raised and loved for many years. Would that love still be there if she told her mom the truth? Would her mom still look at her the same way if Sofia admitted those pictures weren't what she wanted to be?
Sofia's mom gently tugged the sleeve of Sofia's suit. "Come on, Sofin. We haven't got all day."
Sofia pulled her arm away. "Actually," she mumbled, "I'm getting sort of hungry. Let's just skip the carousel ride and go get lunch."
The princess could practically feel her mother's frown. "I suppose we can go find your father and your siblings," said the queen, disappointed. "It's getting rather close to midday now. I'm sure we can find something else to do together after lunch."
Sofia felt guilty for ruining her mom's plans, but she just couldn't stomach the idea of sitting on that carousel ride with her mom, just like Sofin had done years ago. She wanted to distance herself from that past as much as she could. If only it didn't come at the cost of hurting her mom's feelings.
A line from the song she'd heard earlier by Phoebe the fortune teller popped into Sofia's head. 'Just keep your eyes wide open, and wipe away that frown.' Sofia took a deep breath. It was worth a shot, at least. The princess sprung up on her feet, smiled as brightly as she could, and tried to think of what she would say if she were feeling happy. "Can we get funnel cake?" she asked.
To her delight, this seemed to cheer her mom up. "Of course, we can, sweetie," responded Queen Miranda, and Sofia no longer had to pretend to smile. Phoebe had been right! As long as she just kept herself happy, things would turn out okay. Sofia hoped the second half of her day at the carnival would be more fun than the first.