10:39 PM

Leaving the club right now got held up I'm SO sorry! Walking over I'll be there shortly.

"Hello again stranger."

Tony's head was down and he was practically running. He was trying to beeline it back to the hotel without having to stop for fans again. It was like they sensed he had somewhere to go tonight. Every time he tried to say "okay that's it I gotta go now" fans would begin to plead with him for "just one more photo." He didn't want to come across as an ingrate but he really did just want to get back and see Judith. They hardly ever get to see each other these days and that time was precious to him. To both of them. It was getting late and already it would be a short visit. So he politely shut it down and rushed out of there just after ten-thirty. In his haste to rush back to the hotel unseen, he walked right past her but there was no mistaking that voice. He turned around, looked up and there she was, beautiful and joyful as ever.

"Sweetheart! Get over here," he said as he walked back to meet her and take her in his arms. There was hardly a time Tony hugged her where her feet didn't leave the ground and tonight was no exception as he spun her around in the middle of the sidewalk. "I've missed you." He added.

"Tony stop!" She laughed, "I've missed you too but put me down," and waited until her feet were firmly planted on the ground again before continuing. "How was the show tonight?"

"Great, but not as good as finally having you here in the flesh again." His excitement was palpable.

"I'm flattered." She smoothly spilled out while batting her eyelashes.

They linked arms and walked the last few steps to The Hollywood Roosevelt together.

"I cannot believe they couldn't manage to get me here yesterday, I'm so sorry Tony. I would have loved to see everyone."

"Ah, Judith, don't even worry about it. Really. It's not a big deal." He assured.

"The whole internet disagrees." She pouted.

"Judy, you know better than to pay any mind to that stuff. Besides, it's not like you haven't actually been to any of my shows."

"I know. But the rest of the world doesn't know that and they all think I'm a terrible friend that doesn't support you."

"Let them."

"That's easy for you to say."

"It really is," he teased and she smacked his arm just as he was trying to open his suite with the key card, causing him to miss the panel. "Judith! I need to pee." He whined. "I rushed outta there so I wasn't late meeting you."

She dramatically raised her hands at shoulder level and allowed him to open the door unobstructed. He held the door open and motioned for her to enter.

"You go ahead," she said laughing, urging him to go first. He ran inside and straight to the bathroom.

Judith took off her shoes and made herself comfortable on the sofa just as Tony was making his way back to the living room area.

"That was fast," she teased.

"Alright enough about that." Tony was annoyed that he let that slip, she would be teasing him about it all night now. "What are we drinkin'?"

"Would you hate me if I said tea?" she inquired sheepishly.

"God no! I'm glad you said tea actually. I'm so tired today I think booze would put me right to sleep."

"Yeah, about that … What was going on with you last night?"

"Oh Judith, honestly I don't want to get into that. I crashed on the couch, dozed off, had a crazy wild dream … broke a glass." He added upon the recollection coming back to him.

"Broke a glass?" Judith's curiosity peaked.

"Yeah, I know. It was all just … it was a weird night."

"You're really not going to tell me?"

"There's not much to tell Jude, I swear. I was having trouble sleepin' 'cause I was disappointed that you didn't make it to the show and …"

"So you were upset." She cut him off.

"No. I believe I said disappointed," he clarified "and anyway Judy, I'm disappointed every day that I don't get to see you so really it was nothing new."

"So you're saying you have trouble sleeping every day that you don't get to see me? Because that would be saying that you never sleep."

"Look. Last night was different. The old gang was all there. You were missed, that's all."

"Fine. I digress. What was your dream about?"

"I don't remember most of it," he lied.

"You're lying."

"You're right, I am," he winked, "but we ain't gonna to get into that tonight."

"I cannot believe you." She sounded like a child who was just shown a lollipop and told she couldn't have it.

"Believe it. We're not going there."

"Tonyyy." She whined.

"Sweetheart, really, this is not the hill for you to die on." He reached down for her hands, pulled her up to a standing position and they made their way to the kitchen to boil some water. "Have you seen Robert already today? How's he doing?" He asked casually.

"Okay, why do you keep asking me if Robert is okay? Is that what your dream was about?" She could see in his eyes that it was. "Tell me!"

"Alright, alright! Madonna Mia you're just like my mother - may she rest in peace … In my dream you told me that Robert was sick but that's not why I asked just now. I assume you haven't seen him that much with all the traveling you've been doing so I was just asking. Making conversation. That's all."

She gave him a dubious glare but decided to drop it. "Robert is fine. We had dinner together this evening and then visited with some friends until I left to come see you. Robert was good and ready to go home anyway he was glad I had somewhere to be. It got him out of there early." She laughed. "You men really slow down at a certain age." She teased.

"Hey, don't start with this 'you men' business. You'd think with all the tennis he plays and ice baths that man takes he'd be in the best shape outta all of us."

"Be nice." She was warm but firm in her request.

"I know, I know. Hey, at least he keeps busy."

"That he does." She agreed.

"We should have had him and Tracy play tennis together, maybe then she wouldn't have left me for never being around."

"Tony!," her eyes were wide and her jaw dropped.

"I know, I'm a terrible person. Here's your tea." He laughed.

"You know, you're the only man I know that insists on having a suite with a full kitchen when he travels."

"You know I love to cook. Judy I hate eating out, my food tastes so much better."

"I can't argue with that." She conceded.

"So tell me, how was To-raw-no" He teased.

"You're hilarious," she stated sarcastically.

"Wha'" he shrugged his shoulders defensively, "that's how they say it."

"You're insufferable."

"You know Judith, you keep saying that but you're still here."

Judith laughed.

"To-ron-to was great. It was a busy couple of days but productive."

"Good." He smiled "Annnd?"

"And, what?" She asked, having no idea where he was going with that lead.

"How much did you miss me?" he asked while flashing her his most charming of smiles.

Judith picked up a tea towel that was on the counter and threw it at his face. It landed on his tea and caused it to spill.

"Judith please, I've broken enough hotel dishes for one stay let's not add one more." He pleaded, making her laugh.

They took their tea cups back over to the sofa and sat down. Judith, as always, with her feet tucked underneath her.

"Okay, be serious. Tell me about last night. Rhoda looked fantastic in the photos! I have a hard time believing she is eighty-two years old."

"That comment is ridiculous coming from you. People have a hard time believing you're over fifty-five for God's sake."

"How is she? Did you chat with her much?" Judith completely ignored his interruption.

"I did! You're right she does look great. She asked about you - A LOT. You know, sometimes I think people just talk to me because they think it will get them closer to you," he teased. Judith rolled her eyes. "Anywayyyy … she's great. She was so happy to be there. She was over the moon excited to see the kids. She hasn't done much in a while but she's excited about the possibility of reprising Mrs. Rosini … which reminds me …"

"Nope. Not today."

"Okay..." Now he was the one with his hand in the air in defense. "Moving on," he chuckled whilst flashing her a smile, "that was it really. We didn't have that much time to catch up. Show was great. Oh! The kids were there … my kids I mean, the real ones. Nicky was there … actually look, read this." Tony stood up and walked over to the bathroom counter where he had last dropped his phone, then made his way back and handed it to Judith open to his texts from the night before. Her smile lit up her eyes.

"That is so sweet. I wonder if the kids still remember that dance. I couldn't believe it when I saw Alyssa doing it on your show."

"I know! And People think that was rehearsed but it really wasn't. I miss that show." He added wistfully.

"You do?"

"Yeah … I mean for one it got you out to visit me once in a while," he teased.

"Tony! You love making me feel bad."

"No. I know you don't take it seriously." Then remembering his dream last night he added "Do you?" somberly.

"Of course I feel bad. I don't want to be away all the time missing things. I know this is going to sound really silly … but you know how I never had kids because I wanted to be able to focus on my career without the guilt of having to split my time?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, you and Robert ended up playing that role anyway." She laughed. "So I didn't escape the Mom guilt completely, it's just different." They both laughed, but underneath, both knew that there was some truth to that statement.

"Hey Jude?"

"Hmmm?" She managed with a mouth full of tea.

"You know that I love and appreciate you right?" Her eyes grew wide. "I know I tease you and we joke around about it all the time but … you know I'm just kidding around right? I do wish I'd get to spend more time with you, but I know why you do what you do. And Judith, it's okay for you to do it. You know that right?"

Judith is an only child. The apple of her Daddy's eye and her Momma's mini me. When she showed interest in acting at a young age - three to be exact - her mother, a former model, jumped all over it. Next thing she knew she was in acting classes, dance lessons, working with a voice coach, attending performing arts camps … it became her whole life. She loved it, but it consumed her - Which is why she ran from the possibility of ever being involved with Tony. Because for the first time in her life she encountered something, or rather someone, she considered risking it all for. She knew her love for him had the power to derail her entire world because she knew exactly how it felt to want something so bad you'd do whatever it takes to have it and make it work. She was laser focused on one thing and one thing only and that was becoming a famous actress. Anything that had the potential to stand in her way had to be tossed aside and forgotten in order to stay on track. She was the odd girl out that nobody really knew because she was hardly ever around. She didn't have time to socialize, so she had trouble fitting in because while most kids were out playing and having fun she was working towards her dream. A dream she ended up realizing but, like all others who had come before her, not without a cost. We all have the same twenty-four hours every single day. The difference between being successful and not is the number of hours you are willing to spend working towards achieving those dreams. And Judith … she's all business, all the time. Her parents put everything into her dream and as an only child she always felt like she owed it to them to succeed. It is literally all she knows. And no one understood that better than Tony and Robert. Most people in her life had come and gone because of this lack of … call it commitment to their relationship. Tony believed this to be the reason why she makes it a point to be so present and engaged when she is with someone. Because she has no idea when she might be able to be with them again. So, she focuses on the quality of the time she spends with a person, because she knows she can't commit to quantity.

"Tony …" she didn't really know what to say, this was so out of left field.

"I know. My timing is weird but I want you to know that."

"Okay?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to turn this into an awkward moment. You're right though. I do give you a lot … a LOT of grief about not being around so much but I don't actually mean it. I want you to know that. When it counts you are always there for me Judy - there has never been a day that I didn't need you and you weren't there for me. In the end, that's all that matters. To me anyway."

"Tony, I don't know what to say." She was feeling a bit bewildered that this came out of nowhere. But then it hit her. "Does this have anything to do with your dream again?" She asked.

"No."

"You're lying!" She accused.

"You're right, I am. But we are really not going there." He was serious this time. "What time do you have to be on set tomorrow?"

"Tonyyyyy." she whined.

He hated that he couldn't ever say no to this woman. He prided himself on being a man's man but around Judith he was putty.

"I honestly don't remember the details. What I do remember is that you were being really hard on yourself. Which, let's be honest, is no different from real life. Anyway, I was trying to argue with you about how you were wrong and that's it really. But it was you saying stuff about how you always let people down and I want you to know that that is not true. Because I know you beat yourself up for stuff like that from time to time. Just know that I have never thought that of you. Ever."

"Tony, I am human. I'm sure I've let lots of people down many times."

"Yeah, well, not me."

She laughed. "I am sure that's not true."

"Orrrr … maybe it is true. Because whatever it is you were not able to do for me, I always understand the reason why. And because I understand, I don't see it as you letting me down. I see it as you needing to do something else more than the thing I asked you to do and I wholeheartedly respect that and you and your decision to do whatever it is you have to do."

"You lost me around the second because." She giggled.

"Doesn't matter. The point is … I love you and I'm glad we are finally catching up."

She gave him a warm smile. "Me too."

"You've always been real good to me Judith," he began again, "even when I gave you every reason to walk away from me, you never wavered. Not even for a single second."

Judith couldn't help but hold her breath after he spoke those words. She knew exactly what he was referring to and even she had to admit it was one of the hardest things she ever did - staying by his side during that time.

XXXXXXX

2006

Judith had been knocking on his door for ten minutes and still there was no answer. She knew he was inside.

"Tony please. I am not leaving until you open this door so let me in."

Finally there was rustling coming from the other side of the door. She heard the door knob slowly turn and watched as the door opened a foot and then began to close again. She quickly put out her hand to stop it from closing all the way and pushed it open. By the time she stepped inside he was nowhere to be seen. She walked in, the room was pitch black except for the tiny ray of light coming from the hallway just before the door closed behind her.

"Tony?"

Nothing.

She walked carefully, dragging her feet along the floor for fear she might trip on something. As her eyes began to slowly adjust to the darkness she saw the bed just a few steps away.

"Tony?"

She reached the bed and felt around with her hands for him. She made her way up to the top and sat herself up against the headboard.

"Honey," she didn't know what to say to him. Nothing she said right now was going to be well received and she knew that. So she patted her hands around the bed feeling for his body and when she found him, she gently rubbed her fingers through his hair, found his shoulders and tugged him towards her.

Tony barely lifted his body off the mattress, but managed to drag himself onto her lap where she cradled him in her arms. There were no words spoken between them for over an hour. She just held him. Played with his hair. Rubbed his back. Until finally he said, "What the fuck is wrong with me Judith?" and began sobbing uncontrollably into her arms. Another hour passed. Then another. Then finally he fell asleep in her lap. Knowing he likely hadn't slept in days, she carefully grabbed the pillow next to her, slid it behind her back for support and didn't move for the next three hours as he slept peacefully in her arms.

By the time he began to stir awake, Judith had a considerable amount of pain coming from her abdomen as her bladder threatened to burst with each passing minute. She gently kissed the top of his head and said "sweetie, I'll be right back. I'm gonna need to turn on the light okay?" She asked. He didn't respond, but she could feel his head moving from side to side and took it as a yes because at this point she wasn't really giving him the option. She turned on the bedside lamp and made her way to the bathroom.

She walked past the bed. "Tony, sweetheart, I'm going to draw the curtains, let's get some sunshine in here."

"No," he mumbled from underneath the pillow where he was laying face down. But that didn't stop her. "Judith!" he grumbled. But again, she ignored him.

She walked back over to the bed and sat next to him. "I'm going to order us some room service. Is there anything in particular you'd like to eat?"

"No." His response was quick and sharp. Again, it didn't stop her.

She ordered him a burger with fries and a salad for herself. There really weren't many other options at this time of the day and already they were making an exception for her because the kitchen was now closed until dinner. All she had was breakfast before leaving New York City at the crack of dawn this morning. They sat in silence until the food arrived.

Judith tipped the young man and took the food from him at the door in order to afford Tony some privacy. It was clear he hadn't shaved in days and Judith wondered how long he had been wasting away in this hotel room before he called her last night. She immediately sent an email to her agent saying there had been an emergency and she needed to fly out to LA in the morning, asking them to get in contact with the folks at Law and Order as soon as possible. Then got online to book the first flight she could get herself on. She left New York at 6:50 the next morning and had barely slept herself. She got in just past eleven last night and only heard his voicemail at almost midnight after she had showered and gotten ready for bed. After spending the rest of the night on the phone with him and packing, the only sleep she had been able to get was on the plane … and despite how often she traveled, she did not do so well on planes. She had called Robert on the cab ride over from the airport to let him know what happened and that she was in LA. Saying she would be home to see him as soon as she could, but that she would keep him posted.

She brought the food over to the bed. "Tony, you need to eat sweetheart."

"I'm not hungry."

"I know honey. But you need to eat anyway." Her voice was soft.

"Judith I don't want to." He was short, and nearing aggression at this point.

"Okay," she whispered and began to eat her salad. She was starving!

"Judith?"

"Hmm?" She managed with her mouth full.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean what am I doing here?"

"I mean, what are you doing here?"

"Tony, where else would I be right now?"

"At work?"

"I told them I had to fly out to LA this morning. Said there had been an emergency."

"So, I'm an emergency now?" He spat out.

"Tony …" Her voice, was a mere whisper and she swallowed back the lump that was beginning to form in her throat. She had dropped everything to be here for him. Something she had never done for anyone and this is how he was going to treat her? "I wanted to be here for you. I thought you'd want that. But if that's not the case, I'll go. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you should go. This would have never happened if it wasn't for you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing, just go."

"What do you mean this never would have happened if it wasn't for me? What in the world does this have to do with me?"

"You're the one that went off and married Robert."

"What!? What does any of this have to do with me and Robert?"

"Because it should have been me."

Judith was in shock. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was he actually suggesting that his marriage falling apart was her fault because he should have been the one she married? Twenty-one years ago!? It was preposterous!

"Tony, I know you're upset right now …"

"No. You don't get to tell me how I feel right now. You don't get to take me to New York City, tell me you love me, show me you love me and then go off and marry another man three months later."

Her jaw slackened. She was completely appalled. "Tony …" no … she had no words. There were no words to correct this right now. Anything she said from this point forward would just completely derail him and that was a crash that she knew their friendship would never recover from. He needed time, and she needed to respect that. So, before the situation had the opportunity to get worse, she stood up, grabbed her weekend bag and purse and walked towards the door. She placed her hand on the handle ready to turn it, but first turned back. He was sitting up on the bed as if trying to keep himself from running after her. His eyes on hers, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I'm really sorry you feel that way." She looked down at the floor in order to keep herself from crying - she would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry right now. Turning back towards the door, she turned the handle and walked out.

There was no way she was going to be able to face Robert given the condition that she was in. She called him on her way to the airport, told him that her agent called and they didn't take the news well and needed her on set. Adding that she was expected to be there first thing in the morning. She waited several hours at the airport for the 8:35 PM flight that they were able to put her on and went back home to New York City.

XXXXXXX

A/N - I didn't expect this chapter to be so long it kinda got away from me so I'm going to have to split it into two. Thank you for all the reviews, I really hope you are all still enjoying this story.