Chapter 39: Goodbye Maybe?
It was an excuse. A good excuse to go over to Meredith's apartment. He had Dawsyn's coat from the night of the concert and as the weather got cooler, she needed to have it. It meant Derek could go over to their apartment and have a chance to see one or both of them. Maybe a chance to fix things. What he wasn't expecting was to see Meredith carrying boxes out of the apartment and filling her car with all of their belongings.
He grabbed the coat from the backseat and got out of the car, stopping to compose himself for a second before walking around to the other side as she carried yet another box to the car.
"Derek..." Meredith stopped, the box of Tupperware falling to the ground.
"Hi." Derek said, waving with his free hand.
"You...did you get lost?" Meredith pushed her hair behind her ears before bending over to pick up the items.
"No...I um...Dawsyn left her jacket in my car." Derek replied, holding the coat under his arm.
"Oh..."
"And its fall so...She probably needs it..."
"Thanks...you can just...toss it in the car."
"Do you have a minute?"
"Is that a trick question?" Meredith stood.
"No...No more tricks." Derek sighed.
"Hmm...stick it in." Meredith opened the car door.
"Should I take that as a no?" Derek asked, putting the coat into the car.
"What do you need?"
"I want to talk to you."
"What is there to talk about?"
"What happened..."
"I'm moving."
"Trying to get away from me?" Derek joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"If I were actually trying to do that then I wouldn't even be in Washington."
"Can I please just have a few minutes?"
"I have a few more trips in and out...before this fills up...use it wisely." Meredith replied, before turning around and walking towards the house.
"We said a lot of things the other night...and I know it got out of hand and I'm sorry." Derek said, standing at the doorway and picking up one box as she grabbed another.
"No it didn't."
"So everything that you said...while we were yelling...you meant all of it?"
"And you didn't mean all those things?" Meredith turned around, "We were a time bomb."
"I didn't mean all of it." Derek replied.
"Hmm..."
"Is that all you have to say?"
"Well...what do you want me to say?"
"I came here to try and apologize."
"You really don't have to." Meredith replied, tossing a few more things into a box.
"The things you said...were true. That I was pushy and overstepped boundaries...But I didn't do it to make you look bad."
"But you did."
"Not on purpose."
"Okay."
"I didn't mean to make you feel like a bad mother."
"Uh huh..."
"You're not taking me seriously, are you?"
"What? Do you want me to jump into your arms and say all is forgiven and then ride into the sunset with you?"
"That's kind of what I was hoping."
"Well..." Meredith crossed her arms, walking up to him with a smile on her face.
"But I know that's not going to happen." Derek whispered.
"So you're not a complete idiot...good to know."
"Back to the name calling, huh?"
"You want me to say things...and move on."
"Why is that bad?"
"Because...I can't do that."
"I'm not asking you to forget everything that happened." Derek sighed, leaning against the car. "But I miss you..."
"Oh." Meredith looked away from him.
"Yeah."
"Derek...you said things...I said things and it's probably really good that we did."
"And now the things are out...and we can get passed them..."
"It doesn't work that way...I thought you would know this..having been married before."
"Great...bring that up..." Derek groaned.
"You had no trouble bringing my daughter into it." Meredith groaned right back
"Do you really want to fight again?"
"You're the one who came over." Meredith said, before walking back into her former apartment.
"To bring your daughter's coat which I thought you would be appreciative about." Derek replied.
"I am...with no job I can't just buy her a new coat." Meredith turned to face him, dropping her shoulders before turning to grab more stuff.
"Then you're welcome."
"Here." Meredith turned around, handing him a box.
"What do you want me to do with this?"
"They're your sweats...our...the condoms..."
"Oh..."
"I don't need them at the moment."
"Thanks...I guess."
"I'll just run to the store before we go to the bar on Friday." She smirked. "You never know what the night will bring."
"Have fun with that..." He sighed, looking inside the box.
"I will." Meredith frowned, thinking that she would get a bigger reaction from him. Not that she cared.
"Any other jabs you'd like to throw at me?"
"Yeah, there are only two condoms left but that should be enough."
"I'll just find a nurse."
"Oh, how cliché." She rolled her eyes.
"Yeah well...a bar is just original."
"So is a nurse."
"Just tell Dawsyn I brought her jacket." Derek said, opening his car and putting the box in.
"I will." Meredith leaned against the car. She took a deep breath, still looking away. "She misses you."
"Yeah...I miss her too..." Derek whispered.
"She um...she's having a tough adjustment with this...which if you knew things...you would say the same things you did last time."
"I'm not saying anything anymore."
"Me either."
"So I guess..."
"Hmm..."
"We're um...This is..."
"I don't know." Meredith whispered.
"Are we done?" Derek asked.
"Well..." Meredith whispered, shifting against the car. "I think so. We can't even...we keep snapping."
"I just...I don't want it to be over..."
"It's probably for the best or something." She replied, looking down at her feet.
"Yeah..."
"We just...we said things and you..."
"I still love you." Derek whispered.
"I...okay."
"I'll let you finish...moving and...good luck with everything."
"Okay." Meredith shifted on her feet, not making eye contact.
"Tell Daws...Bye."
"Yeah..."
"Bye Meredith."
"Bye." She took a deep breath, her body still against his car. She didn't want to look at him.
"Bye." He repeated, getting into his car.
"Okay." She whispered, pulling away from his car.
"I'm sorry." Derek mouthed, before pulling away from the house, leaving Meredith standing there, watching as he drove down the street, thinking about what had happened.