Chapter 40: Cupcakes and Standoffs

She was waiting for her daughter to come back into the bedroom, so that they could have some much-needed Meredith and Dawsyn time. Meredith was finally hired at a restaurant down the street from Izzie's and it had occupied her time for the last week and a half. Luckily, she got off three hours ago and had the day off tomorrow, therefore she could have time with her daughter tonight.

She smiled as her eleven-year-old walked into the decent sized bedroom they were sharing. Her hair was wet, and her pajamas were on. "Hey Daws Bug."

"Hi Mommy." Dawsyn smiled, brushing out her long hair.

"How was the bath?"

"I'm all shriveled." Dawsyn giggled, holding up her hands.

"You are." Meredith giggled, sitting up on the bed.

"Izzie said she would tell us when the cupcakes are done."

"Yummy."

"She made chocolate ones just for us."

"That was kind of her." Meredith replied, putting her magazine down.

"And she got extra fudge icing." Dawsyn grinned, hopping up on the bed.

"Lucky us."

"You smelled like garlic when you came home last night."

"I know." Meredith scrunched her nose. "I guess that happens when you're a waitress."

"It was gross." Dawsyn giggled.

"Get used to it." Meredith smiled.

"At least we get cupcakes."

"And I brought home a lot of good food for dinner last night."

"It was really good...But then you had to go back to work." Dawsyn frowned, playing with the pillow in front of her.

"Yeah...I had a double." Meredith frowned. "But I made great tips..."

"That's good I think."

"It is."

"I like staying here."

"You do?" Meredith breathed.

"Yeah...Aunt Izzie is fun." Dawsyn smiled. "And I still get to stay at my school."

"Well, hopefully things will work out..."

"Will we get to move back to our old apartment?"

"Daws...I don't know."

"Okay..." She sighed.

"I'm working...and then I'm going to get somewhere really nice for us. Okay?"

"Will Derek come back then?"

"Dawsyn..." Meredith frowned.

"I miss him, Mommy."

"Dawsyn he...I know." Meredith whispered.

"Do you?" Dawsyn asked, looking up at Meredith.

"Um..." Meredith bit her lip, before clearing her throat and talking to her daughter. "I try not to."

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain." She whispered. "You won't understand that right now."

"I made him a card at school."

"That's..." Meredith stopped. She was surprised when a particular question popped in her head. She needed to know something. "Dawsyn? Why were you okay with Derek?"

"Because he was nice to us. And he made you happy." Dawsyn answered.

"I just...I thought you would have been upset or something." Meredith whispered.

"We had fun with him."

"I just...I thought you would be mad that I was spending so much time with someone else...I didn't want to take anything away from you."

"I wasn't mad." Dawsyn replied. "I liked him...And he made you smile and took me to do fun things. It was like having a Dad..."

"Oh."

"I really miss him."

"And did you...you like being an only child right?"

"It's fun sometimes...But it would be fun to have a baby brother or sister too."

"But you wouldn't actually want me to do it again right?" Meredith asked, wanting Dawsyn to say no. If Dawsyn said no, it would be easy not to want something that had been brought up a lot. "So...we don't need another baby...right? You would hate that."

"I would love that." Dawsyn grinned.

"You would?"

"Yeah...A new baby would be so ccute,and we could dress it up!"

"But a baby...a new baby would have to have a Daddy...we don't have that."

"What about Derek?"

"Derek..." Meredith rolled her eyes. She should have known her daughter would associate the two. "He doesn't come around because...adult things. But if you had a baby brother or sister you would have to share me. You don't want that."

"I wouldn't mind...I could help take care of it."

"Of course."

"I mean...I am getting older." Dawsyn sighed.

"Well Daws...I'm single...no baby."

"What about Jackson's daddy?"

"Isn't Jackson the kid in your class who eats sushi for breakfast?"

"Yeah...But Sadie and I think his daddy is really cute." Dawsyn giggled, blushing a little.

"Oh...cuter then Derek?"

"No...Derek is the cutest."

"Hmm..." Meredith sighed. "Is Sadie glad you're staying for now?"

"She told me she was going to buy me a present for staying."

"Oh well...maybe you can take her a cupcake tomorrow."

"Really?"

"I don't see why not."

"She should give me a cupcake cuz it's almost my birthday!"

"Daws...you would do anything for a cupcake wouldn't you?"

"Yeah." Dawsyn grinned.

"You should get going to bed soon." Meredith whispered. "Do you still want to wait for a cupcake?"

"Can I?"

"Yeah...just brush your teeth after." Meredith smiled. "And then I'll let you fall asleep, and I'll go downstairs."

"Will you sleep with me tonight?"

"I'll be in."

"Okay."

"And no oversleeping tomorrow." Meredith giggled.

"Sorry..." Dawsyn laughed.

"I'll just make George call you and wake you up again." Meredith laughed. "He'll start making silly voices again."

"No...That was creepy." Dawsyn giggled.

"Then, wake up when I try to get you up."

"I will."

"I love you Daws Bug." Meredith whispered, leaning over to kiss her daughter's cheek.

"I love you too Mommy."

"And we..." Meredith stopped, hearing a knock on the bedroom door, a smile hitting her face. "I think that's Izzie with the cupcakes."

"Meredith..." Izzie said in a panic. "Meredith...I have to talk to you."

"Izzie...come in."

"It's the hospital."

"Oh..." Meredith frowned, before looking at Dawsyn. "I'll be right back."

"Mommy..."

"I'll be right back." Meredith nodded, patting her child's head before walking into the hall with Izzie.

"It's...There was a stand-off at the hospital and a guy had a gun and they said there weren't any shots fired yet but there are people still in there..."

"I..."

"Cristina and Alex are okay. They got off right before it started, and they called to tell me they were okay..."

"And George?"

"He had the night off."

"Okay...and I mean...Derek...he's...they told you he wasn't there right?"

"Meredith..."

"Izzie...Derek wasn't there...right?" Meredith asked, her heart beating nearly out of her chest. "He...maybe it's a false story. Maybe there isn't a shooter and..."

"Cristina said he was going on duty right when they were leaving." Izzie breathed.

"No..."

"Thats all they know...I'm so sorry, Meredith."

"No...he...they have to be wrong."

"The news guy said there hadn't been any shots fired but there were people being held."

"Oh my God…"

"What's going on?" Dawsyn whispered, sticking her head out of the door.

"I...nothing." Meredith said quickly.

"Dawsyn, why don't we go have some cupcakes?" Izzie suggested.

"I...I have to go...it's...are you sure it was his hospital?"

"I'm sure." Izzie whispered.

"Oh...I...I have to go...I need to go there." Meredith felt her legs shake below her. "He...I have to go to the hospital."

"I'll take care of Dawsyn."

"Mommy...what's going on?" Dawsyn whimpered.

"Nothing..." Meredith lied to her daughter, hugging her quickly. "I just...I have to go talk to Derek...okay?"

"Is he okay?"

"I...yeah...he's...I just have to go. Listen to Izzie, okay?"

"Okay." Dawsyn whispered.

"Don't worry about her...Just...Call me when you know something okay?" Izzie said.

"Right...yeah..." Meredith ran into the room, reaching for her purse and phone before coming back into the hallway where Dawsyn had disappeared. "I have to get to him."

"I know."

"I just...I have to get to him." Meredith whispered, as she dialed his number, going straight to voicemail. "Damn it Derek...he isn't answering."

"Cristina said he was in the ER the last time she saw him..."

"I...crap...I have to go. I have to find him now."

"Don't worry about Dawsyn...Just do what you need to do."

"Okay." Meredith replied.

"Mer?" Izzie called, before Meredith left the apartment

"Be careful, okay?"

"Yeah." Meredith whispered, nodding slightly before rushing down the stairs of the apartment and out the door. Her mind was racing, but the moment Izzie had made it clear that there as a standoff and that Derek was at the hospital, a million things ran through her head She just needed to find him, because losing him wasn't an option. Not when he could die, not when he could get shot. She just needed him.

She needed him to hold her and tell her he was okay. She just needed to know he was fine, that they were okay. Because suddenly the past two week seemed like too much. She needed him to be there right now. She just had to go to him.