Chapter 41: I Love You

Meredith put her car in park, her heart racing as she noticed news crews and a giant crowd outside the hospital. Clearly, she wasn't the only one with the idea to come bail someone out. But she needed Derek, she needed to find him. She quickly stepped out of her car, locking it before running into the crowd, not caring who she accidentally hit along the way. "Excuse me...let me through...excuse me."

"Ma'am...you can't go through her..." A police officer said, holding her back.

"No...I have to go in...let me go!"

"There is nobody allowed in or out of the building right now ma'am...I need you to step back." The officer explained a little more forcefully this time.

"He's inside...I have to get him!" Meredith demanded, trying to get through.

"If you don't step back, I'm going have to restrain you."

"I...what's going on?" Meredith asked, her voice as loud as it could go over the crowd.

"There is a shooter inside and two shots were fired...I can't release any other information." The officer told her.

"Dr. Shepherd...he's...brain surgeon...is he okay?"

"I have no idea, ma'am."

"Oh God." Meredith whimpered, pulling away and waiting in the forceful and nervous crowd. She needed him. She hated that she was standing in a crowd of people who were all awaiting information. Helicopters surrounded the place; news stations were reporting from every available angle as they tried to get more information on the standoff. But nothing was helping, she needed him. Two shots were fired, and they could have been at him. He was in the ER and that was the area that was currently being blocked off. She needed him. All day she had been thinking about him, wondering why he couldn't leave her mind and now, if anything happened to him, she would never know what to do with herself. She missed him.

She took a deep breath, before feeling the weight of everything hit overload. She saw an officer leave the building, before whispering in the ear of the officer who had just restrained her a few hours before. The rain was pouring and yet she had just realized it had been three hours since she had arrived. He wasn't coming.

Meredith couldn't watch anymore. She couldn't take it, she had to leave. She couldn't be here when they came out and told the world the news. She just couldn't. So she turned away, walking to her car when she heard an applause from the crowd. For a moment, she turned around to find a parade of people exiting the building, or at least what she could see from far away and through a huge crowd.

He wasn't there. Her heart sank when she realized she couldn't see him, so she turned away, continuing to walk towards her car. He could be operating; he could be hurt or she could be dead. She just needed out.

"What is it with you Grey women and being in places that you're not supposed to be?" A familiar voice said from behind her.

Meredith froze in the rain, not moving an inch. The sound of her heart beating, seemed to overpower the rain as she waited a minute. The sound of his voice echoed in her mind, before she turned around and finally looked at him, her eyes wet with the rain and her tears. "You...you're alive."

"You're here."

"I...there was a standoff."

"Hmm..."

"And it's raining and Christina told Izzie you had just started your shift and now...you're okay and I'm here and...don't ever scare me like that again!"

"You are here..." Derek breathed, a small smile on his face.

"Derek..." Meredith gasped, her body shaking.

"Shh..." He said, walking up to her, brushing her wet hair off of her face.

"I love you."

"Mer..."

"And I don't want another day to go by where I can't tell you." Meredith cried, looking to the side, the rain soaking their bodies. "I...I love you and I don't want to not be together. I love you."

"Meredith..." Derek laughed.

"What?"

"I love you too." He smiled, wrapping his arms around her, and kissing her.

"Mmm..." She cried against his lips, her hand moving to the back of his neck.

"I love you...God, I love you..." He whispered.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." She pulled away, hitting his chest.

"We were in the ER and all I could think about was you and Dawsyn..."

"Oh God..."

"And you came..."

"All day I just kept thinking things and I love you and...I want things." Meredith cried, kissing him again. "I love you."

"Mmm..." He murmured, holding her close to him as they got drenched by the rain.

"I'm crazy about you...and my daughter...she loves you like a...we need you."

"I need you too."

"I want things...Derek things I had no idea I could ever blurt out but you nearly died and...I want a baby...I want more kids...and I want to marry you one day..."

"Three kids?"

"And if you don't...that's okay. I might just be crazy right now, but I want...I want you."

"Do you know how happy it makes me to hear that?" Derek laughed, crying as well.

"I...I want a baby. And not just because my daughter thinks you're the only Dad she was meant to have...I want one because I love you and I need you." Meredith cried. "I need you...you nearly died and I'm admitting it."

"Meredith...Shh..."

"I just..."

"You're it."

"I'm what?"

"You're it...I don't want anybody else...And even after what happened...You're still it."

"You...you too."

"Thank you..."

"For what?"

"For coming here..."

"I couldn't...the cops nearly restrained me."

"Really?" Derek chuckled, raising his eyebrows.

"It's not funny." She whispered against his lips.

"It's hot...and adorable and...I'm completely in love with you." He whispered between kisses.

"I want us to be happy."

"Me too."

"And I want to be yours."

"You are."

"I love you." She whimpered, her lips tasted salty from her tears.

"I love you..."

"You're...everything...Daws and I missed you."

"You have no idea." Derek whispered, kissing her again.

"I need you."

"I'm here...I'm not going anywhere."

"You could have died."

"I'm fine."

"Come here..." She pulled away, as they took a few steps over to her car.

"Where?" He whispered, holding her hand as she walked back to the car.

"Love you..." She turned around, leaning against the car.

"I love you too." He smiled, kissing her up against the car.

"Did he hurt you?"

"What?"

"I mean obviously you weren't shot...but if he touched you or was in the same room...I'm going to kill him."

"He didn't hurt me."

"Can we...can you leave?"

"We can."

"We're wet...and I love you and I want to go to the trailer..."

"That sounds...perfect." Derek whispered.

"Izzie has Dawsyn and I just need you...stubborn me is admitting it."

"I am madly in love with stubborn you."

"And this is fast...but I don't care right now."

"Is fast okay?"

"I think so." She said, kissing him again.

"Hmm..."

"I love you."

"I love you."

"And I want you...and things...Daws and I are so happy when you're there and...I want a baby that looks like you and your hair and..."

"You don't want a baby with my hair." Derek laughed, pushing her hair back again.

"Shh..." She whispered, leaning against the car.

"You're all wet."

"I don't care."

"And cold."

"So are you."

"The trailer is cold."

"Well, I don't have an apartment...and we can keep each other warm."

"Where are you living?" Derek frowned.

"With Izzie...I lost my job."

"You should go back to Dawsyn tonight, so she knows you're okay."

"I think Izzie knows I can't come home tonight...it's okay. I promise."

"Are you sure?" He whispered.

"Yeah...I'll call her tomorrow."

"Am I allowed to be cheesy right now?"

"I think you could have died and you have a free pass."

"Okay." Derek laughed.

"Hmm..."

"I don't ever want to let go of you." He whispered.

"I don't want you to."

"Might make driving to the trailer difficult..."

"I..."

"Shh...

"I just need you tonight." She murmured.

"You have me...tonight...and every other night..."

"I'm difficult."

"And stubborn."

"But I love you and I...I'll try to not be so impossible."

"Me too..." Derek laughed, kissing her again.

"And we can just go to the trailer and sleep."

"That might be dangerous."

"Why?" She giggled, wrapping her arms around him.

"Because if you come...I'm never ever letting you leave." He whispered.

"Hmm...we could just go to your place and..." Meredith stopped, slapping his face.

"What was that for?" Derek frowned.

"You could have died!"

"You shouldn't be hitting me...you should be hitting the guy with the gun."

"I...you could have died." Meredith hit his arm again, before pressing her lips against his. "You're so stupid..."

"Mmm..."

"Stupid...stupid." She whispered in between kisses, her body was now soaked completely.

"I want to take you home right now." He breathed.

"Okay...okay."

"I'll drive..."

"I can drive..." Meredith looked at her car. "It's right here and...you shouldn't drive. You could have died."

"I can still drive." Derek laughed, kissing her again.

"But you're all wet." She whispered.

"So are you."

"But I..."

"Okay."

"I'll drive...and then...well...I'll drive and you can be alive."

"I love you."

"Mmm...love you too." Meredith turned around, opening her car door.

"Is it bad that I don't want to let you go just to go over to the other side of the car?" Derek whispered.

"Normally yes..."

"But now?"

"I think it's okay." She whispered, her lip quivering from the cold.

"Hmm...Get in the car...You're gonna get sick."

"Okay." She nodded, kissing him quickly before sliding into the car. He was okay, they were going to his trailer, and he could just hold her. He could remind her that he was okay. She just needed him to hold her, even if it was cheesy. She just needed him to hold her.