FLASHBACK:
SIX MONTHS AFTER ANGELA'S DEATH.
Another day without her.
Another day waking up without her in his arms. Another day without hearing her voice. Another day without telling each other: "I love you." Another day without telling the other to have a good day and then talking about their respective day over dinner. Another day without making love and cuddling up together and wishing each other sweet dreams before drifting off. Another damn day.
Another day of silence.
He was driving home from work both wanting to get there so he could grieve in peace and not wanting to get there because he knew how silent the house would be. Another evening spent eating dinner by himself-unless Mona joined him or Sam invited him over. Another evening trying to distract himself by watching t.v. and then turning it off and throwing the remote on the coffee table. Another evening without her.
Another evening of silence.
He turned into their neighborhood and drove down the tree lined streets. The leaves were beginning to change. He smiled to himself. 'She always loved seeing the leaves change colors. She would always be so happy because she knew Thanksgiving and Christmas would soon be here and the whole family would be together. Plus she loved buying and receiving gifts. She was so cute and endearing.'
He pulled into the driveway and noticed Isabelle's car along with Joe's truck. 'What are they doing here? I hope they're not planning on staying because I really want to be alone.' He didn't want to be a bad host but all he wanted was to be by himself. He shut off the engine and exited his car-after the accident he had gotten rid of the jeep because it was too painful driving it anymore- and went in through the back kitchen door. He dropped his briefcase on the table and went into the living room.
The living room was empty. He had expected to see them here waiting for him. They had given Isabelle, Wendy, and Fran spare house keys in case of an emergency. Well there wasn't any emergency so what could they possibly be doing here?! That was when he heard voices coming from upstairs.
"Hey Wendy, why don't you put that in this box?" Isabelle told her.
"Okay."
Put what in what box?! What were they talking about?!
Tony wasted no time running up the stairs. The voices were coming from their-his bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and he threw it open.
"What are you doing? What the hell is going on?" he demanded.
Isabelle, Wendy, Fran, and Joe all looked at each other. They knew how tough the last six months had been on him and they also knew that he would have a hard time getting rid of Angela's things. So they had decided-along with Samantha and Jonathan- they would do it for him. After all it was always easier if you weren't personally attached.
"Well we decided we would help you out." Wendy told him.
"Help me out? What do you mean help me out?!"
"Well we knew how hard this would be. You know, getting rid of Angela's things." Isabelle said gently.
"Yeah, it's been six months Tony." Wendy said.
"You think I don't know that? You think I don't wake up every day and remember?! You think I don't go to sleep every night wishing she were lying beside me?!"
"Tony, we just wanted to help you." Isabelle wiped a tear away.
"Well I.." he stopped when he noticed Fran putting Angela's pink robe in a box. He walked over and pulled it out.
"What are you doing with this?"
"Well, we were going to give it to Goodwill. I mean it's just an old bathrobe."
Tony closed his eyes and counted to ten. He opened them back up. "This is NOT just an old bathrobe. This is what she was wearing the first time we met. This is what she was wearing when I came home from Iowa. When she opened the door and I saw her standing there wearing this robe and her hair up in a towel that is when I knew in my heart I had made the right decision in coming home. " He looked around and spotted the dress she had worn at Paul and Isabelle's wedding.
"And this dress? You remember this dress don't you Isabelle?"
Isabelle nodded, tears filling her eyes.
"Well, so do I. I remember how beautiful she looked. I remember dancing with her and not knowing the band had stopped playing until Sam told us." He next spotted the blue nightgown she had been wearing when they woke up in Sam's bed together and the blue nightgown she had worn his first night of employment when he told her that she would never catch him doing something as dumb as sleeping with his employer.
"And these nightgowns? They may just look like just some old nightgowns but they both have memories attached to them." He noticed the dress she had been wearing in Jamaica draped over the chair in front of the fireplace. He picked it up and sat down in the chair holding on to it.
"This dress? This is the dress she wore in Jamaica. This is the dress she wore while dancing to HOT HOT HOT. You should have seen her. She was so happy. She was having so much fun." he wiped his eyes and continued. "And this was the dress she was wearing when I asked her to give me some time. When I told her that I wasn't sure about us until I was sure about me. And she gave me that time but I screwed it up by betraying her." he winced.
Isabelle and Wendy exchanged glances. They remembered that time vividly. Angela had been so distraught. Isabelle had tried to comfort her while Wendy told her to get on out there and show Tony what he was missing. And it worked like a charm. If Tony taking Kathleen out just so he could spy on Angela was any indication. But they had gotten past it and eventually things were okay between them.
Tony stood back up still holding on to the dress. He saw the floral dress she had been wearing the night he had finally told her he loved her in the tunnel of love lying across the bed. He walked over and picked it up. He took a deep breath.'
"This dress was what she was wearing when I told her that I loved her. We were in the tunnel of love at a carnival in Brooklyn." he smiled. He remembered how angry she had been at him. So angry that she practically threw his anniversary present at him. But, when he finally caught up with her-in the tunnel of love no less- and told her he loved her, all was finally right in the world.
After years of denying their love for each other they were finally together.
"Tony, look, we know how hard this is for you." Joe said.
Tony turned towards him, his eyes flashing. "No! No you don't Joe! You don't have any idea. Your wife is still alive." He turned toward Isabelle and Wendy. "And your husbands are too. So please do not tell me how hard this is or that you know how I feel. Because you don't. You don't have any damn idea!"
"You're right Tony. We don't know how it feels to lose a spouse. " Fran said gently. "We're just.. Well we just wanted to help. You know make things easier for you."
Tony knew in his head they were right and were only trying to help. But, in his heart he couldn't fathom letting go of any of Angela's things. He couldn't bear to part with them. He sat down on the bed and placed her robe and the dresses next to him. He looked over at her nightstand and saw her hair ribbons scattered across the top and recalled a conversation they had.
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Tony entered their bedroom and saw Angela sitting at the edge of the bed next to her nightstand. She was twirling her hair ribbons through her fingers.
"Hey beautiful, what are you doing?" he asked and sat down beside her.
"HMM? Oh, sorry honey. I was just thinking."
"Oh yeah? What about?"
"Well, I was thinking. I would give my hair ribbons to Marie, Josie, and Robin." She said, referring to Sam and Jonathan's daughters.
"Well do you have to?"
She shot him a look. "What don't you think I should?" she asked in confusion.
"Well it's just that you look so cute in them. " he wiggled his eyebrows at her.
She rolled her eyes. "Tony be serious!"
"No, I am being serious. And I especially love when you take one out and shake your head. So cute and sexy."
"Yeah right!" she shook her head at him.
"I am 100% right. I don't think you know the power you have over me." he grinned.
"Oh, I know I do. Especially when we play footsies." she grinned back.
Tony chuckled and kissed her on the cheek. "So for now, please hold on to them?"
"Okay, for now." She placed the ribbons back on her night stand.
"Now that that is settled do you want to watch a movie? I'll make some popcorn."
"Sounds good." They both stood up and walked out the door. "But, Tony just remember.."
"I know. Not too much butter!"
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He motioned towards the ribbons. "Those ribbons there? She wanted to get rid of them but I convinced her not to."
"Why not?" Wendy asked.
"Because," he swallowed hard. "I loved the way she looked in them. She looked so adorable. And when she would take them out she would shake her head so her curls would fall. It was… well it was Angela. Cute, adorable, and beautiful."
The others looked at one another. They knew that Tony and Angela had loved one another but they never realized how much. At her funeral Tony was inconsolable. Sam, Mrs. Rossini, Philly, Isabelle, among countless others tried to get through to him to no avail. And every day since then-well it seemed like he grieved more and more.
"What in the world is going on here?"
Everyone but Tony turned when they heard Mona's voice coming from the door.
"We were packing up Angela's things." Isabelle told her.
Mona looked over at Tony. His head was down and it was obvious he had been crying. . This would not do. Angela was her daughter and Tony's wife and they would decide if and when they would get rid of her things.
"Okay, I know you're all just trying to help but now is not the time to.."
'Mona, it has to be done." Fran told her gently.
"I know it does. But Tony and I will decide when that time is."
"Mona, we loved her too." Wendy said tearfully.
"I know you did. But, she was my daughter and Tony's wife. So please just stop. I know your hearts are in the right place but it should be up to us."
"Okay. We'll go. But if you ever need our help. We're here." Isabelle said. The other three murmured their agreement.
"Thank you." Mona nodded.
They all said their goodbyes and walked out the door. Mona walked over and sat by Tony.
"Are you okay?"
Tony shook his head. "Mona, when will it stop hurting? God damn it, when will it stop hurting?!" he angrily wiped his tears away.
Mona took a deep breath. "I wish I could tell you but I can't. "
Tony realized who he was talking to and felt a wave of shame overtake him. "Oh God Mona! I am so sorry. I'm just.."
Mona placed her hand over his. "Tony, it's okay. It is. I know what you're saying. And the truth is it will never go away. I mean Robert has been gone for years and I miss him every day. And I know you still miss Marie." she said gently and squeezed his hand.
He nodded. "I do. She was my first love but we both knew she was going to die. Not that it didn't hurt because it did. It hurt like hell. But, I knew I had to go on for Sam. I had my little girl to take care of."
"And you did, Tony. Sam is a wonderful young woman. "
"She is. And that is because of Angela. She never treated her as just the housekeeper's daughter. She truly loved her."
Mona wiped away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks.
"Mona? Am I a bad person?"
"What? Tony, what are you talking about? You are one of the best people I know."
"Then why did God take away the two women I loved most in the world?! Damn it! First Marie dies from cancer and then Angela dies because of some son of a bitch drunk driver!" He got up and walked over to the door and pounded on it.
"Tony stop!" Mona said gently. He continued pounding. "TONY!" she yelled. "STOP IT!" Finally he stopped and slid to the floor and wrapped his arms around himself. She got up and walked over to him. His whole body was shaking and tears were streaming down his face. She knelt down and put her arms around him.
"I just want her back, Mona. I just want her back!"
"I know you do. And so do I. So do I." Within minutes Mona was crying too.
END OF FLASHBACK
Tony got up and walked over to the foot of the bed where his Mother's cedar chest was. He opened it and gazed at the items inside. The pink bathrobe, her bunny slippers, the shared pajamas they had worn when they were stranded together after finding out they were each other's first kiss, the Mr. and Mrs. sweatshirt the family had given them after finding out they were married because of a legal technicality, the "gift" Mona had given them-which they both agreed would never see the light of day- but decided to keep anyway-, her dress she wore at Paul and Isabelle's wedding, her dress from Jamaica, the floral dress she wore when he told her he loved her and so much more. He noticed the yellow sheet of paper that was across the top and smiled.
"My Ode To Angela poem. Gee that was dreadful. But she loved it. " he recalled her kissing him softly on his cheek and later playing footsie with him-after removing her hair ribbon in her adorable and sexy Angela way.
"Sweetheart. I miss you so much. And the thought of giving your things away well… It hurts me to even think about it. The things in this chest I will hold on forever. But your blouses, sweaters, jeans, and all that well Sam had a good suggestion. She said that we could donate them to a woman's shelter. And I think that is a good idea and I know you would too. After all you were one of the most caring and loving people I have ever known and I know you would want to help women who were less fortunate than you. So if it's okay that's what we will do."
He suddenly felt a feeling of peace come over him and knew it was a sign from her that it was okay. He smiled and wiped his eyes. He shut the cedar chest and got up and walked over to the phone that was on his nightstand picked it up and dialed. After a few rings Mona picked up.
"Hello?"
"Mona? It's me. I uh. I think it's time."
"Okay, I'll be right over." She didn't ask time for what. She knew. She simply knew. They hung up and Mona walked out of her apartment and across the driveway and let herself in through the back kitchen door. She walked into the living room, up the stairs, and into the bedroom where Tony was waiting for her.
"Ready?" she asked.
"As I'll ever be."
She smiled at him and went over to Angela's dresser and began removing her clothes while Tony did the same with her closet.
They worked in silence.