Chapter 3: Homesick

Yelena certainly knew how to earn the Eldians' reluctant trust. Just as she had claimed, the second survey fleet arrived within the week. As soon as they were close enough, she used the strange communication device from one of the two ships that were now in the Survey Corps' possession, luring them to the bay under false pretences.

Not that this helped anything to make Levi less wary of her and the other Anti-Marleyan Volunteers. All this had shown him was that the woman could lie without batting an eyelash. He'd probably be the last one to trust them, if ever. That had usually been the case in similar, past circumstances, and it had doubtlessly served him well.

He reserved his trust for people whose motives were plain to see and comprehend, and for those idiots who shared his ambitions and were too insane to lie.

The two ships sent from the mainland were bigger, this time, so Hange decided it was Nora's turn to welcome their unsuspecting prey. An improvement over last time, he supposed, seeing as it would be hard to blow out her brains while she was enveloped in sixty metres of titan flesh.

"You'll walk up the cliffs together with the squad and transform once you're out of sight," Levi told her as they made their way to the shore. "Everyone knows who Eren is, but no one of them knows the Colossal's new identity. No reason to let any of our new friends in on the secret. Right, four-eyes?" He shot a warning glance at Hange; she might not be naïve, but she had amply demonstrated that she didn't always know when to keep her shitty mouth shut.

"Not a bad idea," Hange conceded.

"Am I supposed to do anything with the ships?" Nora asked, fidgeting with her necklace even as they were walking.

"You just stand there and look pretty," Levi said, thinking of her skinless face. Hell, the thing didn't even have a nose.

"Ha ha." She rolled her eyes at him, the corners of her lips twitching, then gave Hange a stern look. "You'd better not let yourself get shot."

Hange brushed the words of caution off with a lenient smile, as if she hadn't, in the past year alone, almost been shot more times than Levi cared to count. "I don't think there'll be a high risk of that, this time, once they see you."

"Optimism isn't what got us this far," Nora reminded her, unconvinced.

They separated soon after. With an annoyingly familiar tightness in his chest area, Levi watched her and the rest of the Special Ops squad head up the cliffs bordering the bay until they disappeared out of sight.

Turned out, the bigger the titan, the bigger the panic among the Marleyan navy; as bone and flesh materialised from nothing but a cloud of white smoke behind them, the soldiers started making quite a ruckus, jumping off the ships amidst terrified screams and shouts. To be fair, the Colossal's formation process did look even nastier than the end result; watching sinew slowly appear over a massive skull with empty sockets—before they filled with eerily familiar, dark-brown eyes—gave even Levi the creeps, and he'd seen a lot in his thirty-two years.

Plus, the Marleyans probably weren't keen on getting blown to bits.

And to think it was a petite, doe-eyed woman in there, barely over five feet tall. The irony was almost funny—had it been anyone else but her. She'd never been as harmless as she appeared at first glance; something one could guess as soon as she opened her insolent, far-too-clever mouth.

Greeting the navy captain, swimming for his life, with a gun to the forehead as soon as he reached the shore was more Levi's kind of fun, he had to admit. So far, the Marleyans hadn't exactly been polite, had they, coming to their island uninvited and refusing their generous offer of tea. The height of rudeness, as far as he was concerned; second only to the pesky little fact that they wanted them all dead, spouting the ever-same devil bullshit.

Annoying, weak, brain-washed bastards. People were the same everywhere, Walls or no.

"Welcome to our filthy island, home to defiled devils," Levi said as the man shivering in the salty water before his feet made eye contact with the barrel of his gun. "We'll make you feel right at home. So long as you like pig piss."

###

The noise and ruckus from the construction site carried over to the makeshift booth currently occupied by a bunch of Scouts, tasting seafood for the first time. Say what you want about Marley, Nora thought, but they sure trumped them in culinary variety—for obvious reasons. Before the war had claimed him, Niccolo, who had prepared this exotic meal, had been a chef; a profession he had been allowed to take back up in exchange for his cooperation. Judging by the befuddled look on his face and the blush creeping into his cheeks, his cooking had never been met with anything close to Sasha's enthusiasm, who got teary and showered him with praise after taking her first bite.

The port was nearing completion. Most of the side buildings were already in use, now serving as the Survey Corps' newest and southernmost base. None of the soldiers missed sleeping in tents.

Next, they'd focus on the development of improved military equipment and the construction of a railway from Shiganshina all the way here, to the coast. Unfathomable, in Nora's opinion, though she also wouldn't have believed it possible to build the port within two months; mainly thanks to the Marleyan prisoners of war who had, reluctantly and after several cosy chats over tea, agreed to cooperate and provide them with help and technological knowledge.

Maybe they'd just got sick of sitting around behind bars. Regardless, every single Marleyan taking the chance to get to know them as people instead of devils was another one more than Nora would have expected. Unsurprisingly, those remained the minority; she wouldn't take too kindly to someone keeping her away from home against her will, either—keeping her from family or people dear to her for an indefinite amount of time, maybe for the rest of her life.

Earlier this week, Hange and Levi had left for Trost—meeting with the government about halfway between their base at the sea and the capital—in order to take care of the usual procedures; reporting news, requesting permission for the next planned steps, acquiring the necessary funding. In case Paradis received another round of unannounced visitors during their absence, Nora had to stay behind with Eren and the others. With the two of them gone, she could imagine all too easily how it might feel to be held captive somewhere, without knowing when and if she would see them again.

Oh boy, would she hold a grudge, and no amount of tea and friendliness in the world would change that.

These were her contemplations as she watched Niccolo preparing more food while he, in turn, watched them eat with narrowed eyes. They'd linger on Sasha, mostly, making a mess while she gulped down her portion. His face was still flushed.

If he had done something to the food and they'd all get the runs, later, Nora wouldn't be surprised. And she wouldn't even blame him all that much.

"What do you say to the food, Nora?" Armin asked her, tearing her out of her thoughts. Everyone else—even Mikasa—had already expressed their appreciation for the novel meal.

"Yeah, it's good." Her voice sounded somewhat hollow, though, utterly lacking enthusiasm. The strange but delicious-smelling food was good, she supposed. If one could overlook the weird texture of what Niccolo called clams—squishy and chewy at the same time—or that the lobsters had too many legs, and creepy mandibles and antennae on their tiny heads that made her shudder if she looked at them too closely.

But Nora had been lacking appetite, the last few days. Nothing tasted all that good, not even the tea she had been drinking by the bucketful. Sitting still was becoming increasingly difficult. If Levi were here, he'd scold her for her unreasonable behaviour, and tell her to cut it out before she got so jittery that she was basically vibrating. He'd tell her that she looked like shit—and he would be right—and practically force her to go to bed. And not in the fun way, probably. For a callous ex-thug who lived only by his own rules and never did anything he didn't want to do, he was oddly responsible. And rigid, and exasperating, and fun, and ridiculously cleanly. Which reminded her that she should probably tidy up their quarters a bit before he got back.

Levi wasn't here, though, so instead of sleeping and bickering, tea and reading it was. For yet another long, long night.

"You know, Nora, whenever the captain isn't around, you seem kinda… down in the dumps." Jean was watching her picking listlessly at the half-finished seafood on her plate with an insufferably knowing look on his smug face.

"Yeah, shouldn't you be glad you can slack off a bit, for once?" Connie waggled his eyebrows, grinning suggestively.

Those two bloody annoying smartasses.

And here she was, indignation bringing heat to her face, probably blushing like a teenage girl. "Shut up or I'll command you to go help hauling bricks," she threatened, not all too convincing.

"Maybe he took all their tea with him," Mikasa remarked helpfully, not even looking up from her plate.

Oh, Nora sure missed the time back when her squad mates hadn't known her that well and wouldn't have dared speaking like this to her, a good decade their senior and Levi's second in command. Overthrowing a corrupt government and fighting side by side in battle after battle tended to bring people closer, however, and more so with every passing month.

It was nice, she supposed. Usually. Maybe she just missed the time before it had become common knowledge with whom she was spending her nights with.

"Yeah, it's probably the tea," Sasha noted, mouth full.

"I've had quite enough tea, thank you very much."

"Leave her alone, you guys," Armin intervened with a small, lenient smile.

"Thanks, Armin," Nora said to the young man sitting next to her, glad at least one of them didn't participate in the childish teasing.

"They're right, though. You should lighten up a bit." His smile brightened as she scowled at him. "I mean, look around us! The harbour is almost done, and Hange showed you the plans for the new weapons and ODM gear before she took them with her to Trost, right? Testing those out is gonna be awesome."

That might potentially be fun; ODM training had always been her favourite. However, she probably wouldn't get to use the new gear as much as the others. She had other uses, now.

Nora answered with a noncommittal, one-shouldered shrug, shoving the rest of her meal over to Sasha, who gave a squeal and thanked her profusely.

"I couldn't be in a bad mood with this food under my nose!" Sasha said before proceeding to stuff herself with Nora's leftovers.

"Animal," Niccolo muttered, though his voice had lost its edge. His blush deepened as he shot a sideways glance at Sasha, her eyes shining with excitement. Once she'd wiped her face with her napkin and got rid of the majority of crumbs, it was a rather lovely sight; her sheer delight was almost infectious.

Almost. Nora had always been rather resistant to cheerfulness.

Done eating, and with nothing else to occupy her hands with, she had started fidgeting with the pendant of her necklace. The one piece of jewellery she owned, because he had given it to her. She looked at the delicate, silver wings between her fingers; a simple design, the wings slightly overlapping—as if one was stacked over the other—similar to the Survey Corps emblem. They were the same colour as Levi's eyes outside on a bright but foggy day.

Which was something she really wasn't supposed to know about anyone. As well as the other half dozen shades his eyes seemed to cycle through, depending on the lighting and his mood.

Nora knew them by heart, and still, they never failed to draw her in, throw her off balance.

And dammit, now she was thinking of him again. Truly, she was a hopeless case.

###

At this pace, they'd make it back to the southern coast in the middle of the night. That was, if Hange didn't insist on taking another break. Knowing her, she probably wouldn't, though. For once, Levi found himself thankful for the woman's high energy. Even though she kept nattering his ear off while he was only half listening; his mind was set on their destination. Rather than a location, however, he had a person on his mind.

Even back during the meeting, while listening to the ever same back and forth, a small part of his attention had been occupied by involuntary thoughts of her, hundreds of kilometres from him in the south. Some thoughts had been a pleasant distraction—which hadn't exactly helped with his impatience—others not so much. For all he knew, something bad could have happened while they were gone. Maybe Marley had launched a full-scale attack with an entire, big-ass fleet of military ships. What the hell did Yelena know? Maybe they were fighting for their lives, or those bastards had already taken Eren and her—

That would be just their luck. But Nora wouldn't let it get that far, would she? On that damned day a year ago, with that damned injection, Levi had made her a target instead of letting her become a corpse; but she was also infinitely harder to kill, now.

With nothing better to do than sitting around and contributing the occasional remark whenever he got asked something by the Assembly, his mind had been running in circles; driving himself up the wall for no reason whatsoever. Useless. And he hated wasting his time and energy with useless, hypothetical shit.

Yet, he couldn't quite keep himself from… worrying. Mentally preparing for the worst. She was a constant, nagging presence in his mind, lodged deep, irrevocably.

He had started to notice that, when Nora wasn't with him, he missed just about everything about her, pathetic as it was; even the stuff that he thought annoyed him. Her constant fidgeting, for one thing; twisting her necklace around her finger, then unfurling it rapidly, over and over and over. Or twirling the pendant back and forth between her fingers. Or how she kept bobbing her leg up and down when she had to sit still somewhere without having a book or a cup of tea to occupy herself with.

And the way she'd be silent, and then give a small snort out of nowhere, because she had thought of something morbidly amusing.

And that, just like literally every single person he had ever met, she rarely lived up to his perfectly reasonable cleaning standards; yet, unlike most of those slobs, would take his scolding as a challenge instead of striving for improvement. Then the brash pain in the ass of a woman would start listing counter-arguments and badger him with 'logical reasoning' he hadn't asked for—because, fucking hell, he just wanted his goddamn shit neat and in order, what was so hard about that? Levi strongly suspected she sometimes put the toothpaste on the wrong shelf on purpose, just to annoy the shit out of him. Needless to say, it worked.

Thinking of these things made him all twitchy and irritable, made him want to spur his horse so he'd be back, faster, so he could drag her into their quarters and give her shit about the mess on the desk, listen to her snarky retort, and then get rid of said mess with one swipe of his arm and bend her over the wooden surface and fuck her senseless.

Yes, he'd much rather be able to snap at her for her irritating habits than not be with her.

Throughout the entire trip back—during the carriage ride and after they'd left Wall Maria behind on horseback—Hange had steadfastly been upholding their fairly one-sided conversation, blithely chattering away about weapons and new uniforms and fucking airships despite his monosyllabic answers. "You look like you're plotting a murder," she was saying now, after giving him barely a minute's peace. "The question is just, whose?"

"Yours, if you keep pestering me."

Hange let out an overly dramatic sigh. "Alright, that's it. Next time, we're taking Nora with us."

Levi was almost positive that he showed no outward reaction at the mention of her name. "Fine by me. Then you can chew her ear off."

"And, more importantly, you won't be in such an abysmal mood for the entirety of our trip."

"Tsk."

#

Light streamed through the small gap beneath the door to his office. Frowning, Levi entered, and was greeted with the sight of the woman he basically lived with sitting at the desk, one hand tangled in her sandy blonde hair.

Nora looked up, the pen she had been holding slipping from her fingers.

Whenever he saw her again for the first time after he had been away—and if it had only been a night—he found himself somewhat dumbstruck by her appearance. It was a bit like the invigorating effect a cup of strong tea had when he'd had to go a few days without one and his metabolism had lost a certain degree of built-up tolerance. Levi knew her face better than anyone else's, even his own, yet his recollection could never do her justice. In his mind, her freckles were never as plentiful, and her dark brown eyes never quite as large, their glint of cool intelligence and hot temper—hiding below a deceptively calm surface—never as sharp. Her hair was wavier and wilder, but also not as messy as expected, because he tended to picture it longer and borne down by its own weight, as it had been the majority of the time that he'd known her. He couldn't decide which way he liked it better, and he didn't give much of a shit; it was just hair, in the end. The shorter cut won in terms of practicability, though, and not only on the field, but also in the bedroom; it wasn't getting as much in the way whenever they—

And that was a thought better saved for another time. Instead, Levi threw a pointed glance at the clock and asked her gruffly, "Why are you still awake?"

Nora's expression shifted from wide-eyed and unsuspecting to mildly annoyed in a heartbeat. "Seriously? That's the first thing you say, walking in here after three-and-a-half days?"

"It's almost two in the morning. What are you doing at the desk, this late?"

"What does it look like?" she shot back, matching his tone.

He clicked his tongue. "Insolent brat."

One of those Marleyan books she was so obsessed with was lying open beside her elbow, part of the loot from the ten-or-so ships they'd intercepted, so far, the writing nothing but gibberish to him; yet, to Hange's delight, Nora could read it just fine. Another useful by-product of being turned titan by a man too selfish to let her die, and then eating a shifter from outside the Walls.

Hanging up his cloak, Levi cast a cursory glance around the room. Save for an empty cup of tea, the book, and a notebook she had been scribbling in, everything on his desk was in order. Her shoes were neatly stowed away in the rack.

He was suddenly in no mood to complain, anyway. A tension he hadn't even been aware of had slowly been draining from the set of his shoulders since he'd stepped over the threshold, and a weight had lifted from his chest the moment he had laid eyes on her.

Impatient, he started unbuttoning his shirt, intending to go wash up in record's speed. When it became clear he was about to head for the bathroom, Nora rose from her seat behind the desk and came to stand in his way, looking rather reproachful. Before he could ask the reason, she grabbed the open collar of his shirt, rose on her toes and caught his lips in a searing, open-mouthed kiss.

At the first taste of her, the first feel of softness and warmth, he stopped thinking about hygiene for a while. The harmonised movements of their lips were no less alluring in their familiar rhythm; the one form of communication they had never needed to work on, speaking their own, secret language. His hand trailed over her cheek, sliding into her hair while pressing her close with the other at the small of her back. She sighed into his mouth, melting into him and fitting against him seamlessly, in that infuriating, perfect way that was sure to have this situation escalate frighteningly fast.

Levi broke the hot, heady kiss, drawing much-needed air into his lungs. "I was about to take a shower. I reek of horse," he said, as if he wasn't just now pulling her shirt over her head, as if she hadn't been able to feel him growing hard against her lower belly.

"I don't give a damn." Nora's voice didn't sound any steadier than his.

"Disgusting." It couldn't have sounded less convincing had he tried.

She fumbled open the remaining two buttons of his shirt and shoved it from his shoulders, proceeding to kiss and nip along his jaw and neck, fiery sparks dancing over his skin. His fingers dug into the cheek of her ass through the soft fabric of her pyjama bottoms. Her answering, breathless moan shot right to his groin.

He summoned the crumbling remainders of his reason to rasp, "You should go to bed and let me wash off the trip. I can fuck you once you're well-rested and I'm clean."

"Considering our current state of partial undress, that doesn't seem realistic," Nora breathed, her lips grazing his earlobe—because the minx knew he really, really liked it—and then it was her teeth, scraping softly, followed by a languid caress with the tip of her tongue. Hot shivers of desire raced down his spine, and his grip on her tightened involuntarily. When her slender, warm hand cupped him through his trousers—a hiss escaping him between clenched teeth—the other working open his belt, Levi knew it was time to admit defeat.

"Fine, then, impatient brat," he said huskily. "No shower, no bed." And he kissed her again, ravaging her delicious, silky mouth with tongue and teeth, walking them back against the desk. His palms covered her breasts—a perfect, small handful—and he groaned into her mouth as she gasped and he felt her nipples draw into hard peaks.

This was dangerous, he was distantly aware even as he continued touching her, tasting her, even as he pulled off her trousers and lifted her on the desk. After being away, he was treading on particularly thin ice with his restraint, his goddamned sanity. His senses had turned razor-sharp, just like when he fought, his body preparing to utilise his inhumane strength and reflexes. But he wasn't fighting, and no person should be able to do this to him, not like this; although every part of him was on high alert, his mind was far from clear, strangely detached from himself, yet so very present in the moment. As a result, he couldn't seem to exert his usual, impeccable control over his body, as it fucking should be in this state of being.

Something in him just snapped when he was with her, and that was a very bad thing when one happened to be a freak of nature and nurture.

He had thought it would get easier, over time, but he had been wrong. If anything, the opposite was the case. They were running out of time, as they had always been, and that sense of urgency had accompanied him from the very beginning, increasing with every passing day, every touch, every time she said his name and every time she almost said something else, but then wouldn't—

"Levi, I…" And she did it again, whichever words she had meant to say dying in her throat. Nora was breathing raggedly, bracing her hands on his chest, right over the frantic hammering of his heartbeat. Somehow, she managed to look aroused and panicked at the same time, driving him mad.

"What is it?" He met her lust-glazed eyes, witnessing the exact moment she lost her nerve in the subtle change of her expression, her features tensing the slightest bit.

"Nothing." She trailed her fingers down his abdomen, leaving heat in their wake and worsening the ache in his groin, and unbuttoned his trousers, pushing them down. He thought that was it with the talking, when she added, gaze downcast, "The past few days were just kinda shite."

Goddammit, how he had missed that stubborn, difficult woman.

"That's one hell of an understatement," he murmured against the silky skin of her neck, relishing the delicious shiver that ran through her. "You know how I passed the time during the meetings?" His voice was so low and coarse he barely recognised it. When he felt her give a faint shake of her head, he continued, "I thought of all the unspeakable things I would do to you once I got back."

A shudder went through her entire body. "Unspeakable?" Her breath hitched as he skimmed his hand along her inner thigh, higher and higher, until it was right where it should be—and fuck, he could barely believe it had only been half a week since he'd last felt her, hot and soft and so maddeningly wet and pliant against his fingertips. "Nothing is unspeakable, for you," she said shakily.

Levi pulled her closer to the edge of the table by her behind, continuing to caress her tender flesh. "You haven't got the faintest clue." Some things, even he didn't want to put into words.

"Show me, then." She wrapped her legs around his hips with an amount of strength and wilfulness he had found surprising back when this whole insanity had started.

"I need more than a single night for that, but it's a start," he breathed against her lips, and Nora kissed him again, deeply and hungrily, dooming them both.

They had reached the point of no return a while ago, probably the moment she had first touched him. Overheated and unhinged, Levi was left wondering if his grip on her had become too hard; he couldn't tell anymore through the haze of desire fogging up his brain, and he wasn't even inside her, yet.

And how he wanted to be, badly enough he always ended up throwing all caution and common sense to the wind. And this irritating, irresistible madwoman before him only encouraged him.

He broke the kiss before he lost his mind completely. "You have to tell me if I'm being too rough," he said, for what must be the hundredth time.

"You are never," she gasped, which was a blatant lie if he'd ever heard one. "Now stop thinking."

"Crazy, insufferable brat," he growled, and again, it was far from the first time. He pushed inside her, and she was hot and tight and perfect, swearing and whimpering into his ear, digging her nails into his back. Time lost its meaning, what he had been doing and saying and thinking lost its meaning, and only the present remained, and her wrapped all around him, and shit he had meant to be mindful of his grip on her.

Instead, he was running danger of taking her foolhardy advice, if he wanted to or not.

What a shitty, glorious mess he had gotten himself into.