Chapter 5: Devils' Advocate

The southern coast of Paradis had never seen so many people at once. The port's main building looked shiny, new, and flawlessly white even at progressing dusk, an hour or two before the lamps all around the bay would be lit. Although the stately building could not compare to the capital's splendour, it was doubtlessly the only part of the harbour built with more than practicality in mind. And even that circumstance served its purpose for evenings such as this one, where it counted to make an impression.

Inside, the white tablecloths, crystal glasses, and expensive-looking candleholders, casting a warm glow over shiny silverware, weren't what caught the eyes of the Scouts present, however. The younger Heroes of Shiganshina seemed more impressed by all the free booze being carried through the spacious hall on trays just as unnecessarily fancy as everything else in the room.

Nora glanced at the soldiers on duty lining the walls on all four sides; because trust was all well and good, but it was better to err on the side of caution. Anything else would have been foolish in a building hosting people from three different nations, two of which had been at war for centuries on end.

Levi, wearing the exact same half-bored, half-frowning expression he sported before battles and during government meetings—and in most everyday situations, to be honest—seemed to be looking at nothing and no one in particular. But Nora knew better; not a single dubious or potentially threatening act would escape him.

Leaning at the bar across the extravagantly decorated room, Hange waved them over. Before Nora could follow Levi's lead and join her, she was stopped by a familiar, booming voice calling out her name.

"Nora, how lovely. The evening is saved already." Pyxis must have caught sight of her the moment she had come in; the smile on her former commander's face was as genuine as his characteristically flattering, eccentric greeting. A few paces ahead, Levi paused, throwing her a glance over his shoulder, brows subtly arched in a manner that was equal parts questioning and exasperated. Vaguely amused, Nora motioned for him to go ahead without her, shrugging. Of the few people from her past as a Garrison soldier who might have stopped her for a chat, Dot Pyxis happened to be the only person present, tonight, and incidentally the only one of them she actually didn't mind talking to.

Was it weird that the person she'd liked best out of her entire regiment, back then, had been her highest-ranking superior and a man in his sixties? Probably. Good thing she had stopped caring about 'weird' even before she had left the Garrison. Trying not to be had never amounted to much success; too much of a hassle, in the long run, when she'd had more important shit to worry about.

"Good evening to you, as well, sir," she said, craning her neck to look up at the tall man, standing as sure and upright as ever.

Same as Hange, the bolo tie distinguishing him as a commander complimented Pyxis' suit for tonight's occasion. Despite his baldness and the deep lines and wrinkles on his face, one could easily forget his age with one look into his golden eyes, sparkling with intelligence and shrewdness. His honest, delighted smile could not conceal that this was the man who had, together with Erwin, plotted and seamlessly executed the downfall of the corrupt royal government with its puppet king, to mention only one example.

Pyxis ushered her to the nearest bar table, plucked two glasses of sparkling wine from a tray a server was carrying by and handed her one.

He scanned her from head to toe, thoroughly, like he assessed both friend and foe. The warmth of his smile beneath his grey moustache made the only difference. "There are so many beautiful women here, tonight, yet I couldn't possibly overlook you."

Nora shook her head, an indulgent grin tugging at her lips. "You never change, commander."

"I'm too old and too lazy to change," he answered with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "What is your excuse?"

"I'm too stubborn," she said, sipping from her glass.

Pyxis let out a barking laugh. "I am glad to hear it." He sounded nothing but genuine. "We rarely ever get to chat. I sometimes see you during assemblies, but you're up and away as soon as they're concluded, leaving me with the ever same boring old men as company." He gave her a grin very unbefitting of his age and station, well aware of the irony of his complaint.

"Sorry about that, sir. I'm always rather… busy." While that was true enough, it wasn't the main reason Nora fled from those meetings the first chance she got. Enduring the endless, useless back-and-forth between self-important men who liked hearing their own voices a bit too much—when the only sensible outcome of those discussions was obvious from the beginning—wasn't one of her favourite ways to pass time. The only provided entertainment were Levi's occasional comments—fluctuating anywhere between merely dry and outrageously rude—whenever he lost his patience during those whinging sessions. And his impudence never failed to speed along the proceedings, as well.

Pyxis saw right through her feeble excuse. "Of course, you are busy. And I don't blame you." Their conversation stilled for a few breaths. Then, as if he'd picked up the name from Nora's thoughts, he said, "It certainly looks like you found your place and purpose within the Survey Corps. Say, is Captain Levi treating you well?" The lilt in his voice combined with his sly expression left no doubt at the true meaning behind the innocuous inquiry after her squad leader.

For a moment, Nora considered playing dumb, even as she felt warmth rising to her cheeks. But the charade would likely be futile with someone as observant as Pyxis—and she had neither the patience nor the motivation for it, anyway.

She sighed. "People talk, I suppose." And that talk had probably carried across divisions.

"Who doesn't love some juicy gossip." He winked at her, thankfully dropping the subject when it was met with dogged silence from her front. "Things have changed quite a bit since you switched regiments. Has it really been two years, already?"

"It honestly feels longer than that, to me."

"I can only imagine," Pyxis said, inclining his head.

Parts of her identity had been altered substantially and irrevocably, just like their world. Fundamentally, she was still the same person, but she had experienced just about every type of emotion she could think of—some for the first time in her life—and all in an intensity that would have sufficed for several lifetimes.

Nothing had ever hurt her more than these past two years, not even the ten she had spent tending to her terminally ill mother; or at least, that pain had been less like a hot iron to the chest and more like a slowly tightening noose around her neck.

And yet, she had never before felt so alive than she had ever since she'd become a Scout. Although there were several reasons, she knew the main one—which she could never have foreseen or prepared for—and she forced herself not to search for him in the crowded room.

"After the frankly mind-boggling chaos that was last year, it seems like we're currently right in the calm before the storm…" Pyxis looked around the room, swirling the wine remaining in his glass. His eyes lingered for a second on the ambassadors from Hizuru, deep in conversation with Zackly, before focusing on Nora, again. "Are you certain you don't want your old position back? You could do a lot of good from the inside." He seemed to be only half-joking.

Oh dear. Where to start with this question?

Nora smiled, darkly amused. "Thank you for the offer, but I think it would be too late for me, anyway." What good would the Colossal Titan do them in the middle of the city?

"Indeed," Pyxis said, unusually grave. "For a moment there, I forgot…" He frowned at a point over her shoulder; Nora turned, following his gaze. He was looking at Levi, standing near the opposite corner of the room with Hange and some higher-ups from the MP. He didn't seem to be listening all too attentively, though; instead, he was watching the two of them with a surly look on his face.

Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a somewhat more pronounced variation of the expression he'd worn since they'd entered the building. Still, her heart leapt as she spotted him, as it did too often, and she turned away before she could get distracted.

"Sir…" Nora began, and Pyxis' keen eyes met hers. "Have you ever regretted your part in the coup?" She had been wondering for a while, seeing what it had cost, where it had led.

"Have you ever regretted joining the Survey Corps?" he asked back.

"No," she said immediately, not quite surprised she didn't even have to think on it. "Not even once."

"There you have it. That's how it is if we follow our conviction."

"And now we're finding us in the middle of a war with no end in sight," Nora said in a wry voice. "To think that this was one of the better outcomes…"

She remained convinced of that fact, no matter what; ignoring one's problems, even if they were separated from them by three Walls, did not magically make them go away. Yes, their hands were stained with the blood of MP and Survey Corps soldiers alike; but what would remain of Paradis' population, by now, had they chosen not to fight back? Still, the sacrifices that had brought them thus far were devastating.

And they would carry the dreams of their fallen comrades with them, until it was their turn. Which might be so very soon.

And all the pain and fighting and bloodshed might amount to the same nothing the old government would have brought them. A prolonged but still futile struggle, in the end, if things didn't go well.

Yet, she couldn't find an ounce of regret in her. Guilt, however, she had aplenty.

Better than the alternative: being dead.

Caught in her ruminations, Nora added, thinking out loud, "We didn't get the best outcome, though. We lost Commander Erwin, after all…" She trailed off, having said more than she intended to. A knot had formed in her throat.

Enemies aside, it was her fault, to a degree; and Levi's. An indisputable fact Pyxis was aware of.

There was no judgement in his serious expression, however. He regarded her with a pensive gaze. "After we disposed of the old government, Erwin said to me, 'Peace will never be certain among humankind until our numbers fall to one or less.' And despite that, we're still here, have endured so far."

Nora took it as an agreement to her assessment; no matter how much truth lay in Erwin's bleak statement, most humans would find war preferable to ceasing to exist.

"Sounds like something he would say." She gave her former commander a wry smile. Even that sad attempt at cheerfulness felt like hard labour.

All of them could only guess at what Erwin would be saying or doing, now.

"He was very tired," Pyxis said, looking at her with nothing but kindness in his eyes, the countless wrinkles around them deepening.

She could only nod, lowering her gaze to the glass in her hand.

When he took his leave, he briefly squeezed her shoulder, telling her to enjoy her evening, and that it was well-deserved.

#

She found Levi leaning against the wall near the bar, on his own. Seemed he had got rid of his company, however he had managed.

Wordlessly, Nora joined him, shoulder to shoulder with a hand-width in-between—because he couldn't get rid of her company that easily—and indulged in a few quiet minutes simply being, without having to meet any expectations. She surveyed the room, ignoring that he was staring at her out of the corner of his eye.

"So, what did you and the old geezer rattle on about?" Levi asked after a while.

"Oh, the usual," she said, matching his casual tone. "You know. War, death, duties, tough decisions, the ugliness of human nature, and other pleasantries."

"Small talk, then."

She nodded, stifling a grin.

"I would have thought he was hitting on you, the way the old lecher was ogling you," he said, sounding perfectly indifferent.

"Aw, are you jealous?" She nudged his elbow with hers as she delivered the jest.

Levi didn't so much as blink. "Stop talking crap."

He might as well have uttered a direct challenge. "You have nothing to worry about," Nora told him with all the graveness she possessed. "I'm more into the dark and brooding type."

"Alright, I better take that," he said, snatching her half-finished drink from her hand. He downed it in one gulp.

"Also, Pyxis has been married for an eternity, by the way."

"Yeah? I don't give a shit."

"Although, if he were thirty years younger, I wouldn't make any promises."

That finally got to him; he rewarded her with a look that came decently close to horror. "You're disgusting."

Nora's answering laugh came out clear and light-hearted, and she felt very accomplished. The corners of Levi's lips twitched. This was, by far, more fun than she would have thought possible for this evening.

"What do you even like about that wacky old drunkard?" He was frowning at her, his voice calm and serious, once more. He seemed genuinely curious.

Sobering slightly, she didn't need long to think of the most accurate answer. "You can't deny that he's the definition of 'thinking outside the box', and doesn't shy away from getting his hands dirty. And despite that, he's a good, honourable man. Maybe the best I know, speaking from a strictly moral standpoint." In contrast to herself, for instance, Pyxis' motivations were truly selfless. All he did, he did to ensure the survival of those who couldn't fend for themselves, while Nora fought for her own dreams and convictions; and yes, one of these convictions happened to be that no one deserved to die simply for what they were born as. But above everything else, she fought to keep what was dearest to her.

And she was alright with that.

"To be honest, I never quite understood why he was so fond of me," she added.

"Unlike a scoundrel like me from the Scouts." Levi's expression was thoughtful, contrasting the airy tone of his dry remark.

"Exactly." She smiled, filled with certainty that he understood. He had always understood.

When the meaning behind his words registered, her heart made an excited little flip, her smile broadening to a grin. "So, you're fond of me, huh?"

He averted his gaze, scowling at his feet. "No, I'm putting up with your crazy shit all day and night because I like to suffer."

"I think you're entertaining, too."

"That's not what I said, brat."

"It's what you meant, though."

"Maybe," Levi said, still not looking at her.

Nora dropped her head back against the wall, smiling like an idiot. Something—a lot of somethings—fluttered in her belly, in her chest, warming up her insides more effectively than sparkling wine ever could. She would have told him she was fond of him, as well, except that would have been a lie. She was fond of books, or of tea.

Levi was something else, entirely.

#

A while after dinner, Hange introduced Nora to Kiyomi Azumabito and her fellow countrymen. As much a scientist as she was the commander of the Scouts, Hange quickly steered the conversation to research matters, providing Nora with the opportunity to inquire about their resources on titan science without seeming rude—she hoped.

"I'm afraid we cannot be of much assistance on that end." Kiyomi Azumabito's regret seemed sincere enough. "The only organisation I know of dealing with this subject on a larger scale are the Titan Biology Research Society, and Marley has never shared any of their findings with other nations. Zeke Jaeger might know more. You'd have to ask him."

Great. And everything he said could surely be trusted, and he'd gladly volunteer valuable information without an ulterior motive or asking anything in return. Regardless, she stored the information away for later. A whole organisation solely dedicated to titan science? They must hold a wealth of potentially useful knowledge; if they—meaning, the Survey Corps—could just figure out a way to access it.

"What about Eldian biology, in general?" When Kiyomi started shaking her head, Nora hastened to add, "Or any resources at all on Eldian history or bloodlines? Anything could be of help."

The elegant woman pondered this for a moment, then answered hesitantly, "There are history books, of course. I'll have some collected for you, but I will be honest: I don't think they will be of much use."

It was better than nothing. Nora hadn't dared hope for much more, anyway. "Thank you. We really appreciate it."

Almost as much as Hizuru appreciated the Island's resources, probably. She couldn't exactly fault them, though. Hizuru was trying to stay afloat, not too much unlike them. Their alliance was built upon mutual benefit, the offers and terms on either side laid out not quite in the open, but easily enough to discern if one looked past the tactical and diplomatic bullshit. Your usual, run-of-the-mill business transaction, to put it frankly.

This alliance, at least, made sense.

#

The air in the crowded room grew more stifling with the evening's progression. When Armin, Mikasa, and Eren retreated to the balcony through a large set of glass doors, Nora and Levi joined them, escaping the heat and unending buzz of tedious conversation. Besides, it was probably a good idea to keep an eye on Eren, even if no one had tried anything, so far.

The rest of the Special Ops squad plus Floch seemed content with remaining at the bar—where the free booze was—unbothered by the ambient temperature.

"Have you seen how Niccolo was staring at Sasha? As if he couldn't believe she was capable of wearing a dress." Leaning in the corner of the wrought-iron balustrade, Armin was smiling, mirth in his voice.

Eren gave a small, lopsided grin. "To be fair, all he's ever seen her doing is wolf down his food like a savage."

"I was surprised she managed to eat without making a mess of herself, tonight," Mikasa deadpanned, adjusting the scarf she was wearing, as always; despite the summer heat, despite the occasion. While the combination might be unusual, the scarf's deep crimson colour admittedly went well with her red dress.

"She did give up on using knife and fork halfway through, though," Nora added, fondly recalling Sasha grabbing her chicken leg and tearing into it with her usual enthusiasm, oblivious of the mildly appalled glances she received.

"Isn't it kinda incredible?" Armin's expression had taken on that same child-like, reverent quality it had always had when he was talking about the sea. "A few months ago, Niccolo called us devils and wanted us dead, and now he's cooking for us all the time, even joking with us. And that goes for many of the others, as well; they've been such an immense help with the railway and so many other things. We aren't all that different, aren't we? I really think that if we take the time and talk to people from other nations—"

"But we don't know if we have the time," Eren cut him off, matter-of-fact. "Besides, you're forgetting that the majority of Marleyans are still refusing to cooperate. They prefer rotting in a cell to working with devils like us."

So much for avoiding tedious conversation. Still, Armin had a point; and so did Eren, unfortunately.

"True enough," Nora conceded, gripping the railing at her back a bit too hard with her fingers. "But all of the rest of the world can hardly hate us as passionately as Marley."

"And yet, we still haven't started planning to actually do something about them," Eren said.

With effort, Nora managed to keep the hot flush of indignance welling inside her from leaking into her voice. "So you're saying everything we are already doing or planning to do is nothing?"

"I'm saying that it's nice and all, but it's not enough." Eren was frowning down at her as if she was a naïve child instead of over a decade his senior. Easy, when he was standing a head taller than her. "You said we can't just trample them down, and you also said we can't just wait. What's it gonna be?"

"You're acting like there's no in-between. It's not that simple," Nora said tersely, really not in the mood to repeat everything they had already discussed at such an inopportune moment. A prickly sensation had started to build in her chest.

"Looks simple enough to me; it's either fight and live, or roll over and die. Thanks to Marley and their warriors attacking us first, the whole world knows what we're capable of, anyway." The volume of his voice had risen, and he emphasised his words with a jerky, sweeping gesture of his hand. "And even if other nations were willing to listen despite this, we have to strike at Marley before they—"

"Now is really not the time to be impatient, Eren. Look, I don't disagree, but we've already talked about this yesterday, and you'll need to trust that we will take action once the timing is right."

"Trust, again." He barked out a harsh, disbelieving laugh, shaking his head at her. "That one time I blindly trusted my comrades—about timing, no less—all of them ended up dead. As you, of all people, surely remember. You and Petra were talking about trust, back then, as well."

Nora recoiled as though she'd been struck. She sensed Levi tensing up beside her.

"Eren." Mikasa uttered his name almost tonelessly, aghast, eyes widened in shock.

His words hit their mark like a dagger to the chest, intended to hurt, to leave an impression. Flawless execution, she thought bitterly, blinking back the burning sensation that had spread from the pit of her stomach all the way to her eyes.

"You—that—" Nora was fumbling for words, her heart pounding a furious beat against her ribcage. She was struggling to translate her racing thoughts to speech as she often did when she was fuming and overwhelmed like this. She pushed it all back, clinging to the facts. "That didn't happen because you chose to trust us. It happened because we were lacking knowledge, which is why it's so essential we wait a bit and, like Armin said, focus on—"

"I'm not saying you haven't got a point, but if we sit on our asses until you and Hange got all stuff figured out, we'll just end up getting killed in the meantime."

Nora had to force her gaping mouth shut, pressing her lips into a tight line. If someone had cut her this very moment, she might have gone titan, right then and there. How was he being helpful, exactly, when he only thought about as far in advance as she could throw him?

"Say, Eren." Levi lifted his gaze from the spot on the floor he'd been frowning at, speaking up for the first time since the start of this delightful exchange. "When did you become such an asshat?" His voice was very quiet, his expression pure ice.

The cold, set fury in Eren's expression flickered, his teal eyes widening a fraction as they met the dangerously narrowed ones of the man he had always respected the most out of all military; admired, even.

"Guys," Armin spoke into the tense silence, his pitch elevated, "can we stop fighting, please? Eren? We all ultimately have the same goal, right?" His bulging eyes darted around, searching each their gazes for the shortest of instances. "This is a complicated situation, and we're bound to disagree on some things, but I'm sure we can find solutions we can all stand behind. One step at a time."

Mikasa wrapped her hand around Eren's forearm, and his head shot to the side, eyes narrowing at her in response to the appeasing gesture. "Eren, don't let your anger get the better of you." Her tone was calm and imploring. "No one said we'll be doing nothing."

For a moment, it looked like he would jerk away from her hold, lash out. But then, whatever he was seeing in her dark eyes seemed to assuage him, somehow.

"Right." His features softened, the set of his shoulders relaxing, and his eyes met Nora's. "I'm sorry," he told her.

She thought of the boy he had been, who had given her a tentative smile after she'd told him, once upon a time, that his friends would be protected by veterans during their first mission. The boy who had saved their lives, just as they had saved his. Who had so often watched, wide-eyed, when she had started an argument with their captain, torn between amusement and alarm.

Who had shed tears when the Female Titan killed their squad mates.

And she looked at the young man he had become, his justified anger as potent as it had always been, only better contained. Who had told them they were his friends and that he refused to sacrifice a single one of them.

Fact was, Eren was acting out of concern, even if he was behaving like an utter git, right now.

All the fight left Nora's body, leaving her hollow and drained. "We'll talk about all this when the time is right—with Hange. But first, we'll need to see how the recon mission goes. Okay?"

He swallowed, averting his gaze. "Yeah. Alright."

#

The three childhood friends went back inside after a few minutes of tense, awkward silence, joining their squad mates at the bar. Levi and Nora remained at the balcony, leaning against the railing in semi-darkness, hidden from the patch of light streaming through the door's glass panes.

If she had felt like company before, the fancy would definitely have passed by now, with her mind playing contemptuous remarks and the gruesome images they had dredged up on repeat. Memories she had carefully stowed away in a corner of her mind well-guarded, reserved for things like slowly dying mothers and brutally killed comrades. Most notably, her first friends aside from Hange and Levi; broken, bloodied, maimed, torn, gone. Ruthlessly crushed by a girl she knew better than she'd ever wanted to, a girl haunting her fucking sleep.

Nora gripped the cool metal bars digging into her lower back with both fists, her insides twisting.

Beside her, Levi stirred, crossing one ankle over the other, arms folded in front of his chest. She had almost forgotten he was there—he did not count as company, he never had—if not for the steadying influence of his calm presence, as reliable as the steel wires of her ODM gear, keeping her from spiralling into the bottomless pit that was the past.

He spoke into the silence. "One word from you and I'll gladly kick the little shit's ass."

Despite herself, she chuckled, tension seeping from her body with the unexpected sound. "Thank you for the offer, but I can handle myself. Also, I've kind of grown to like the little dickhead."

"Yeah, figured. Else I'd already have done it, earlier. Would have shut him up quicker than Armin and Mikasa's approach, but no one around here seems to appreciate efficiency anymore."

Another fit of giggles threatened to burst from her lips. How did he do that; making her feel lighter, somehow, when kind and consoling words could not, when her mind and body were leaden with a pain that never truly faded?

"Really, though, thanks," she said, eyes on her feet.

"Tsk. What for? I didn't do a thing."

"You're wrong. You're doing it right now, again." Saving me, every day.

No reaction came from him, not a single movement. Maybe he knew what she meant.

"Come on," he said eventually, nudging her calf with his foot. "Let's go back to the base, get some tea and call it a night."

Nora looked up at him, grinning. "And this, right here, is why you're perfect for me."

Levi's features slackened. He blankly stared at her for several long seconds.

Shit. Had she really just said that out loud?

Heat shot to her face, and she averted her eyes to her hands, fiddling with the silky fabric of her dress.

But—what the hell was she even embarrassed for? Really, this had been implicated already; she just hadn't used those exact words, before. There was certainly no need for him to be even the slightest bit surprised, after all this time.

Before she could call him out on his reaction, Levi pulled her in by the small of her back. And he kissed her, slow and drugging, tasting of wine and summer and the salty breeze and everything she had ever wanted. By the time he drew back, she was clinging to the lapels of his jacket and had almost forgotten what had initiated this turn of events.

"That's fucked up," he told her, nuzzling her neck with soft lips. Tingles spread over her skin, raising goosebumps.

Her answer came out as barely more than a breath. "I can live with that."

"Idiot." The sudden sharpness in his low voice contrasted the gentle scrape of his teeth over her pulse point. Nora's knees went weak, and she tightened her grip on him. He pulled away, blinking and briefly skimming their surroundings, almost as if he was surprised where they found themselves. His eyes met hers as he clasped her wrists, disengaging her hands from his clothes. "Now let's get out of here so I can tear that dress off of you."

A shiver of excitement raced down her spine, pooling low in her abdomen. "Oh? And is this before or after the tea?"

"Take one good guess," he said, already with his back to her, pushing down the handle of the balcony door.

And he went back in, without a glance over his shoulder; no doubt knowing, as certain as she did, that she would follow.

AN: Phew. Now that was good practice for dialogue and characterisation...