Chapter 7: Communication

While the view of the bay wasn't too bad from up here, the roof of their brand-new southern base, squeezed between the many other buildings making up the port, was pretty shit. There hadn't been an incentive for Levi to find out before tonight; but there was no battlement or any other structures to lean on, and nowhere to sit other than the solid brick beneath his feet.

Whatever. He was still too riled up to sit down, anyway.

Maybe it was his lucky day, and Marley would have the courtesy to drop a few dozen pure titans from fucking parachutes or something, right about now, just waiting to be slaughtered. Hell, even a single, small one would do. Then, at least, his freakish strength would be useful again, for a change, and he'd have a productive task to get his mind off things for a little while.

When there was no possibility of cutting or kicking something to release pent-up nervous energy, cleaning would have been the next best option. But that was off the table as well, seeing as he'd been the one pissing off, leaving behind the half-dressed source of his frustration. And that frustration was still potent enough to make his skin crawl, every muscle in his body tense and ready to pounce.

One should think he had done more than enough damage, by now, the biggest of which had been inflicted not through direct contact with his hands, but by his hand, nonetheless; by sinking a needle into her burnt flesh.

Not once had he regretted his decision, since then. Not even for a second.

That didn't mean Levi wanted to be reminded of it, and—the best part—due to his own damn inability to grab someone like a normal person.

No, not someone. Only her.

He had no one to blame but himself. And maybe Nora, a bit, because she knew there was something seriously wrong with her, but she couldn't give less of a shit. Instead, the woman insisted he was "perfect for her".

Levi fought a twisted urge to laugh. He didn't have to fight very hard, but still.

He was just waiting for the moment he fucked this up beyond repair. Maybe he had, already. He'd find out soon enough. Although he had many talents, this was certainly one thing he wasn't good at.

So, he was half expecting there'd come the time when Nora would have had enough. Could be some shitty fight—like this one—pushing her too far, or an eye-opening moment during battle because of the burden he'd imposed on her. Hell, if she weren't such a crazy, hot mess, he'd never have gotten that far with her in the first place.

There was no accounting for taste, but he had decided a while ago that wasn't his problem.

It was his problem, however, that it clearly turned her on when he got angry or rough with her. One hell of a problem; it had taken all his willpower to back off instead of strangling her or fucking her or both.

Not that he, of all people, could fault her for being fucked up. Violence was a language they'd both had to learn in order to survive thus far. And wasn't he the one who had taught her, and ordered her to kill, in the first place? Talk about doing damage. Someone else in his place would feel bad about it, he supposed.

If nothing else, violence at least was honest.

But he'd be damned if he wouldn't do it all over again if it led to this, to them; starting from a whorehouse in the Underground. Even if having her, being with her, terrified the ever-living shit out of him.

The door to the roof gave a creak. It could only mean one thing.

She was really testing him, today.

"Are you shitting me?" Levi turned to glower at Nora, who stood frozen at the threshold, eyes wide in alarm.

"I didn't know you were here," she said quickly, both hands raised to chest height, palms facing him.

"I know, idiot." He turned back to the lamplit bay sprawling far below his feet, his nape prickling with the awareness of her presence.

He could have known she'd come up here. But it had been over a year since either of them had felt the urge for nightly strolls.

Soft, tentative footsteps approached, just audible over the distant roll of the tide. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nora come to a stop at about two metre's distance from him. She was taking in her surroundings.

"This roof is shite," she said then—and now he was looking at her directly, because of course that's what she would say, of all things, and why the fuck was he even the tiniest bit surprised.

Judging by her dumbfounded expression, she couldn't quite get a read from his face. "What?" she asked, already wary.

Levi rolled his eyes to the night sky, jamming his hands into the pockets of his trousers. "Nothing."

"If you want me to leave, just say so."

He kept silent. There was absolutely nothing he wanted to say to that.

A minute trickled by, at most, before she murmured into the night, "Can we talk?"

Great. More chances to make a mess of things. What could possibly go wrong?

She looked oddly small—smaller than she was—shoulders hunched forward, head bowed, her annoying doe eyes trained at a point below his chin.

Better get this shit over with, he supposed. He braced himself, drawing forth that cold place in his mind he relied on for battle. "Fine," Levi heard himself say.

Some of the tension seeped from Nora's shoulders, and she stood straight again, crossing her arms, still not quite meeting his eyes.

"I still think you're being paranoid over what would be nothing more than a few bruises healing before I even noticed," she said without preamble, immediately earning her a dirty look. Not that he was surprised; hell would freeze over before the brat ever changed her opinion about anything. Before he could tell her so, she continued, "But what I think about this isn't what matters, and I'm sorry for pushing you. It's not my place to dictate how you… well."

He waited, but she kept her mouth shut. That was it. No further arguments. Just like that, she backed off.

That wasn't how either of them did things in this relationship. It weirded him the fuck out.

Apparently, it was his turn to say something, now. Where even start?

"I could have been less…" He couldn't decide how to finish that sentence. There were too many things he could have been less, and probably just as many he could have been more, but reflecting on that sort of shit wasn't something he made a habit of.

"Handsy?" Nora supplied.

The brat seemed to know better than anyone else how to get a rise out of him. He glared at her, the lukewarm anger in his gut starting to simmer again. "No, you liked that part just fine, didn't you? Nutcase." She had the decency to look sheepish, at least. "I was going to say I could have been less… offensive."

"No, you couldn't have," she countered immediately, the corners of her lips curling upwards. It took a fair amount of restraint not to rise to the bait, but he refused to prove her point.

A few seconds passed before she spoke again. "I have to ask…" She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, turning the pendant of her necklace in her fingers. "How did you handle this issue in the past? When you were with… other women?" And she made a strange little grimace, gone in a flash, as if she'd been forced to swallow sewer water.

It barely registered; he was too occupied with her stupid-ass question. Levi stared her down, unblinking. She was fucking serious. How dense could someone as clever as she be?

Resisting the massive urge to ask her what the hell was wrong with her brain, he forced himself to unclench his jaw, gaze fastened at the sea, a shimmering blue-black surface encompassed by the illuminated port. "It's never been an issue before."

"What do you mean?"

Oh, for fuck's sake. Did he have to spell everything out for her? Shouldn't it be so goddamn, glaringly obvious by now?

He lost the battle against his temper, rounded on her, let his mouth run its course. "It's because of you, you idiot. It has only ever happened with you." He punctuated the last word by pushing a finger against her chest, right below the wings pendant he had given her. "No matter how angry or tired or horny or whatever shit else I am, I have always had perfect control over my strength, my every fucking movement, in every situation. It's easy. Second nature, to me." Slightly short of breath, he forced himself to take a step back. Her wide, round eyes followed his retreating hand, now clenching into a fist. "Except for those situations, sometimes, that involve you."

And how he hated it. Almost as much as he hated that he liked it, to put it mildly. Images flitted through his brain; he had accumulated too many to count and not nearly enough. Nora licking the blood from her lower lip, her dark eyes alight with fury, and he the sole target. Pinned beneath him, at his mercy just like he was at hers, the anger in her expression shifting, revealing something else underneath, mirrored right back at him. Himself wrapped up in her, hot and naked and pliant, nothing of the usual fight left in her, but all the fire. His fresh, unintentional marks laying his claim on her, however temporary it might be; on her neck, her wrists, her hips, her—

Fuck. And that was him trying—and ultimately failing—to keep an ounce of his wits together. What a sick bastard he was.

That wasn't what seemed to be going through her mind, however. The shock in her expression slowly gave way to indignation. "You're acting like it's my fault." There was a faint quiver in her voice.

"Of course it's my fault. But don't act like you've got nothing to do with it, brat. It already pisses me off enough I have half a mind of kicking you out for this alone—except I obviously won't ever do that." Levi added that last part without thinking when he saw the way her face froze. But the reproach in his tone was entirely deserved, he decided.

Her jaw set in that typical, stubborn way he was intimately familiar with. "It's no different for me, you know," she hissed, taking a step toward him. The blush on her cheeks was pronounced enough he could make it out even in the darkness. "Yes, I'm not freakishly strong. But when we… have sex, you're obviously not the only one who…" She trailed off, lips moving silently as she scowled at the ground. Then, Nora lifted her chin, meeting his eyes before continuing, firmly, "who loses control. It's never been like this for me, either, with anyone else. Not even close. And it freaks me out. And that's all on you." Her expression matched her tone, all anger and defiance.

The revelation didn't exactly come out of the blue—he would have needed to be dead not to notice her reactions to him—but hearing her state it so clearly instead of merely hinting at it had his heart pounding faster in his chest nonetheless, heating his blood. Up until now, he had mostly chalked it up to a combination of incompetent men and a lack of experience in her past, and never to him as a person.

Same as how he was affected by her, and her alone.

She had told him once that she wanted all of him, and she had, so far, never gone back on her word. And that wasn't all she'd said…

I want you to want me the same.

Stupid woman. Was that her issue? If so, maybe he still hadn't been clear enough to get through that thick skull of hers.

His anger had subsided, the surplus of crackling energy inside him warping into a powerful need to kiss her. Now. Probably a bad idea, and spectacularly bad timing. Besides, he'd just end up screwing her, right here on this shitty roof, and he was pretty damn sure he knew how that would pan out.

Which brought him back to the problem at hand, still unsolved.

Levi crossed his arms, creating a much needed but largely ineffective barrier between their bodies. "So… what now?"

She blinked at him, startling out of a trance, seemingly only now remembering why they'd been having this pain-in-the-ass conversation in the first place. "Well… nothing?"

He tensed up. "Nothing?" It came out sharper than intended.

"Sorry, I'm no good at this." Nora let out a sigh, casting her gaze heavenward, fumbling for words. "I'd say, for as long as we don't get ourselves killed, we continue having the most amazing sex of my life, please, and you, uh, let loose however much or little you feel comfortable with."

Right. Because that had always worked so well. She still didn't quite get it.

Regardless, her suggestion was outright sensible, by their standards. To top it off, the most stubborn woman he knew was acquiescing, and saying things he really had no business feeling so ridiculously smug about—he was probably worse off than her—so what else could he do until all this inevitably ended in nothing but pain, anyway?

"Why are you being so—" He paused, then found he did not have the capacity left for even one additional inch of diplomacy. "—not pig-headed as shit, for once?"

"One of us has to be," she snapped, then, frowning at the space between their feet, added, "I don't want to fight with you."

"We fight all the damn time."

"Not like this. Y'know, with you running off in a huff right in the middle."

"I didn't exactly abandon you mid-fuck."

"I meant, in the middle of an argument."

"I'm sorry," he grumbled, rolling his eyes. "Not for getting angry, but for pissing off."

She stared at him as if he'd grown a second head, slack-jawed. He silently counted to ten before she finally cleared her throat and said, "Right. So. Can we go back, now?" And she turned without a second glance.

Something inside his chest twinged; that simply wouldn't do. His hand closed around her wrist. "One more thing."

Levi waited until she met his eyes, and—because she apparently needed to be told everything explicitly—said, "If you still think I ever have my shit together when I'm with you, you haven't been paying attention, brat." Their faces were very close, her dark-brown eyes huge, lips soft and parted. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Nora swallowed, her throat bobbing, and gave a single nod as an answer.

Somehow, he doubted that she did.

###

Things went back to normal—well, their version of normal—between them, after their little… what Nora had no other term for than "lovers' spat". Not only that, but she almost felt like things had gotten better. The tiniest bit. Or maybe it was just that the way she viewed the whole issue had changed, now that she had more… insight. Insight that had her insides all scrambled in the best and worst way.

As far as she remembered, it had been the first time they'd fought about something decidedly unrelated to cleaning or Survey Corps matters or some trivial, domestic shit in over a year, and definitely the first time it had ended with a door banging shut and one of them storming off. Which must be why it was also the first time they'd actually acknowledged the dispute and talked it over afterwards.

And they'd both said sorry, even, did wonders never cease! Granted, her apology had been rather shite, and the same went for his, unpractised as they both were in such matters; but they had been at least somewhat open about… stuff surely no one liked being open about.

She would never have managed to admit all this out loud if he hadn't said what he had said, first. Turned out, Levi's perspective was quite the opposite of hers.

Yes, something had definitely improved with what they'd shared, now out in the open and unmistakable fact instead of a vague idea or hope.

The thing with truths is that once you share them, lend them voice, is when they manifest and change one's reality, and that's what happened each time one or both of them said things they didn't even want to acknowledge themselves, yet couldn't seem to shake off. Things that were true even before they became real and scary, existing only in the private realm of their minds. And you couldn't take it back, once spoken, and it was wonderful and terrifying, as all things were that could not last but were worth living for.

Nora would obsess over these truths—those already voiced and therefore their shared reality and all those left untold—when some nights, he'd look at her with a strange mix of restlessness and hunger behind his calm façade, as if they were on the brink of… something; something he was waiting for, anticipating or dreading or both—though that was probably just in her head; a weird, irrational feeling she couldn't quite shake off. No matter how well she knew him, he remained hard to read.

And when he would hold back a bit and she noticed, she didn't comment on it. In more than one way, they were both holding back. For perfectly valid reasons. So, they didn't talk about any of it; they'd said what had to be said on the roof, right?

In the light of day, it would always be back to business, and their business was preparing for a sightseeing trip and impending doom.

Speaking of. This was exactly why she didn't usually let herself think too closely about truths and what Levi meant to her and what she might mean to him; not ever, and certainly not while she was trying to teach her comrades Marleyan script as fast as possible.

After explaining all the symbols and writing them down on a blackboard, Nora had given them a short text to translate, feeling like the most awkward school teacher. Only that her 'pupils' were a bunch of loony killers—soldiers, technically, but where was the difference, these days—and she one of them. And a literal monster, to boot.

The short break during that little exercise was what had brought on her involuntary ruminating session; all the while, she had been staring a hole into the top of Levi's black-haired head, without even noticing and for longer than was acceptable. He was frowning at the text in front of him, jotting down his translation. Not once did he glance up at the blackboard to check. Had he memorised all of it, already? A few chairs to his right, Mikasa provided a very similar picture to that of the captain, while her squad mates were either comparing their work with each other or throwing repeated glances at the blackboard.

Damn those obnoxiously talented Ackermans.

Nora forced herself to turn away, focusing on what Armin was talking about with Hange, instead. Of course, the two were already done with the Marleyan text; they'd badgered Nora to teach them the basics weeks ago.

"We'll have to be careful how we talk," Armin was saying. "It shouldn't be too hard to blend in, though. The Marleyans already sound a bit different amongst themselves, depending on where on the continent they're from, but overall, it's similar to how the folks in Sina talk. Like you." The last sentence was directed at Nora, who'd sauntered over to their table, planting her bum on its wooden surface right next to Hange's notes, legs dangling.

"I'm guessing the accent of the first Eldians hiding behind the Walls hasn't evolved much around Mitras, where they didn't spread quite as far. The people wealthy or important enough to remain in Sina are pretty isolated from the folks living all over Rose or Maria," Hange mused. "Plus, there's the influence of the noble families, who didn't get their memories wiped back then." She prodded Nora's thigh with the blunt end of her pencil, earning herself a sour look.

The Rosenberg blood from her father's side didn't automatically make her a noble, not by a long shot. Before last year, Nora hadn't even known about that side of her descent. Hadn't even known her dead father's last name. Not that it mattered, now, and she definitely did not feel like discussing it.

"You two are probably right," she said instead. "Most of the Marleyans who got here don't sound drastically different than some of us within the Walls, depending on where exactly we grew up."

After all, they all spoke Eldian, so the Scouts hopefully wouldn't stand out too much in a large city of an unreasonably large nation, if their comparatively small world inside the Walls of Paradis was enough to develop distinct regional speech patterns.

Take Levi and herself, for example. Their shared inclination towards profanity aside, they did not sound much alike. Different accents were to be expected when one had grown up in the Underground and the other in Ehrmich District, in close proximity to the affluence of the innermost Wall.

In general, Nora could guess after one sentence if someone came from Sina, like her, or from the outer Walls. According to Hange, who had grown up in a village inside Maria's territory, but near Wall Rose, Nora sounded "posh". Not the first descriptor she would use for someone as foulmouthed as herself. Be that as it may, the Underground was something else entirely—judging by the way Levi talked, at least; she'd been lucky in that she'd never been to that place. The only other reference she had were the two times she'd heard Kenny Ackerman speak before he'd died, and while his accent had been much thicker than Levi's, they'd shared that distinct, careless drawl in their speech patterns.

She had grown quite fond of it. It certainly went well with his crude, outwardly indifferent attitude, all of which had driven her crazy back when she'd got to know him.

Ah, hell. Who was she kidding? He—all of him—drove her crazy still, and more so with each passing day.

If she hadn't already been aware, the past few days would have served as an excellent reminder.

#

Hange plunked her tray on the table with a resounding smack, ending the peaceful silence Nora and Levi had cultivated throughout their meal.

"I asked Yelena and Onyankopon about the Titan Biology Research Society, just as we discussed," Hange announced, already chewing on her first bite.

Nora perked up, opening her mouth—

"What?" Levi snapped his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at her. "When did you two talk this over?"

Oops. Between training, research, preparations, and the steady progress they were making on the island—always giving them new things to do, next steps to consider—she must have forgotten to mention it. To be frank, she didn't care much for tedious work talk during the few quiet hours they had for themselves. It was the only time Nora managed to think about something decidedly unrelated to war. "How else are we supposed to learn a single thing about—"

"Are you stupid or what?" he cut her off. "We can't trust them."

"Will you just wait with your insults a minute and let me explain?" she snapped, matching his glare. "Obviously, we can't trust them. That's why Hange didn't ask for names or tell them anything about our plans." He didn't exactly seem appeased—she wasn't sure his face could do 'appeased'—but he backed off, for the moment, waiting how the conversation would unfold with his arms crossed.

If they could, somehow, get their hands on a Marleyan scientist who might be able to tell them a thing or two about shifters and bloodlines and Paths, tell them if—or about what—Zeke was lying… Such a person on their side could potentially be valuable beyond imagination. He or she might possess knowledge pointing them to solutions they couldn't possibly find on their own. Maybe even show them another way to activate the coordinate, thus saving Historia from her fate and diminishing Zeke's importance, something he would naturally wish to keep from them. Of course, that theoretical person was ridiculously hard to get their hands on; they obviously couldn't rely on recommendations from the Volunteers—and, in extension, Zeke.

"They aren't plans, Nora. I told you we would consider it," Hange said with unusual sternness. She had even swallowed her bite before answering, lending her words more severity. "But yes, I kept it truthful and to the bare minimum. I mentioned in passing that Kiyomi Azumabito told us about the research organisation, and me being curious and asking a few broad questions didn't exactly arouse suspicion."

"I suppose it would arouse more suspicion if you kept your shitty mouth shut, for once," Levi grumbled.

"Exactly." Grinning, Hange pointed her fork in his direction, causing him to lean back further. "Anyway, Yelena and Onyankopon said they know next to nothing about it, and I don't think they were lying, either. The whole thing is largely kept under wraps. Only those at the very top of Marley's military are informed about most of the findings. The same people who dictate what is researched there, in the first place.

"The rest of the military get the barest minimum of information. It's common knowledge that the titan serums are manufactured there, for example. But not a single one of the marines here on Paradis could provide us with any details on recent developments, including Yelena and Onyankopon."

"Yeah, I'm not surprised." Nora couldn't quite keep the disappointment from her voice, however. "So if we ever were to do anything in that direction, we'd have to do it blindly?"

"Well, concerning the possible gain… yes. But they could tell me a bit about logistics. Apparently, the Society consists of several locations all across the mainland, with the most important facility being in Liberio. Makes sense to focus their research where the Warrior Headquarters are."

"Liberio?" Nora echoed, dozens of possibilities already taking shape in her mind. "Isn't that where we'll go?"

And there was Hange's commander face again. "Yes, and we will gather our intel while behaving like perfectly normal tourists," she said, very deliberately, pulling her glasses up to adjust her eyepatch with the other hand—a new nervous tic she had developed.

"Because you're such an expert at normal behaviour, four-eyes." Levi took a sip of his tea, looking like he sorely needed it. Conversations like this tended to make him look even wearier than he already did, the longer they went on; heavy lids growing heavier, the shadows and fine lines around his eyes more noticeable. "And the other brats aren't much better. That includes you," he added, flicking Nora's upper arm.

She didn't deign to answer, instead bringing her attention back to her favourite research buddy. "I just want to go take a little look at the facility," Nora pleaded. "Isn't that what perfectly normal tourists do?"

And there it was; a greedy glint in Hange's uncovered, rich brown eye, and that familiar, reckless curiosity resurfacing in the way she pressed her lips together, failing to prevent the corners from curving upwards. Old habits die hard, Nora thought; a small knot in her chest eased as her friend's expression brightened.

"Come on, Hange. I can see you're just as curious as I am."

"I guess it couldn't hurt to get a glimpse of the premises…" Hange conceded, thoughtful, her slow smile now reaching her eye. "We'll see how it goes when we get there."

AN: The tonal shift in different POVs is always fun - especially when I'm ramping up the cynicism and sarcasm to the max for Levi's. I'm glad I decided to do that quite intense resolution from his view; I think it was due, at this point, and added more to the story than it would have otherwise.

As always, I'd love to read your thoughts. Be it on their relationship, the canonical elements I'm shamelessly expanding or changing or playing with, or anything else.

See you next year - and, maybe, on another continent...