Just in case you haven't seen but would like to read it: I added a bonus scene to OMWF earlier this week (chapter 39). It takes place after its ending, but before this story.

Chapter 13: Capability

It was good to be back.

And by that, Nora meant as much their short, sadly not uneventful stay in Marley as she meant the visit to the capital that had followed shortly after.

This time, she had accompanied Levi and Hange. After all, there was a mess to report.

It hadn't been that bad. The whole Assembly—Zackly included—simply seemed relieved they had "handled the situation accordingly and discretely". However, a second survey mission overseas would only be endorsed with a good reason and assuming the issue blew over as expected. Under the pretext that they wanted to stay as well informed as possible, Hange had requested Hizuru regularly send them newspapers from Liberio going forward.

So, the meeting could have gone much worse. The whole uncomfortable ordeal hadn't taken longer than an afternoon, and only about half an hour had been needed to go over the events of that unfortunate last evening.

For Nora, the worst thing about it had been Commander Pyxis' deeply sympathetic expression after she had recounted her perspective of what had gone down. It had made the wrinkles on his face more noticeable, somehow, had given his golden eyes an odd sheen. She'd been prepared for her little speech, but not for his reaction. His open, disarming sympathy had made it just a bit harder to stay as detached and matter-of-fact as she had thought she was. She had managed until Levi had taken over, though, and the one part of her that wasn't all awkwardness and discomfort had been oddly relieved that the kindness in Pyxis' gaze had not disappeared the moment she'd said what she'd done.

So maybe Nora still did give a shit about what her old commander thought of her, big deal. He was probably the one and only person outside the Survey Corps to whom this applied.

Yes, it was good to be back—not inside the Walls, but at Paradis Harbour, where the ocean was the only boundary and the late autumn breeze merely brisk instead of freezing.

The longer Nora stayed here, the less she liked it each time the Scouts had to go back to Shiganshina, Trost, or Mitras. That was especially the case on an afternoon like this, when the Special Ops Squad took an early dinner in the main building, where Niccolo cooked, instead of eating later in the mess hall with the rest of their comrades.

He had treated them to a meal on the house, for whatever reason; it could only be taken as a welcome back gesture, which seemed strange considering they'd been in his hometown while he was being held here. But who was Nora to complain? Plus, the talented cook and her squad mates had waited with this until she returned from the capital, which was, frankly put, so nice that she had outright told them it was nice—to all their shared discomfort.

Sometime this year, over a lot of lunch breaks and oftentimes surrounded by construction noise, the seven of them had, inadvertently and organically, become… something disconcertingly close to friends with Niccolo. As far as was possible in this mess of a situation.

The easy-going conversation had died down a little while everyone enjoyed their meal, but no one seemed to mind. Niccolo hadn't disappeared back into the kitchen ever since he'd brought out their food. Instead, he loitered behind the counter they were sitting at, unhurriedly polishing glasses and cutlery.

When they were almost finished, he cleared his throat and said, "So, I figure your… trip did go well?"

Jean looked up at him, eyes narrowed in suspicion. However, there wasn't even a trace of disingenuousness in Niccolo's expression, as far as Nora could tell, and Jean seemed to come to the same conclusion.

Somewhat chagrined, he said, "Sorry, but we can't really talk to you about that kind of—"

"We had… some issues, but it went okay, for the most part," Sasha said, talking right over Jean, as unsuspecting as someone could sound while chewing. Thankfully, she didn't elaborate. She was looking up from her plate for the first time in minutes, her light brown eyes on Niccolo, pensive. "I'm glad we're back, though."

"Yes, it's…" His gaze skittered away as he trailed off, scratching at the nape of his neck. "I mean, I suppose I can understand."

Now it was the Scouts' turn to feel uncomfortable. That didn't seem to have been Niccolo's intention, however, because he looked up again after only a few seconds of silence and asked, "Did you get to try all the things I told you about, Sasha?"

"I did, actually," she answered between bites. "I think the ice-cream was my favourite." And added, matter-of-fact, "But your food's still miles better, to be honest."

"Really?" A flush crept into Niccolo's cheek, 'flustered' written all over his features. "Well, uh, thank you, that's—"

"Damn, did you put honey in that sauce? It's so tasty!" Sasha, distracted by a bowl of dip she'd just tried a forkful of, was oblivious to his abashment.

Niccolo relaxed visibly as he tentatively returned her radiant smile, providing her with an elaborate answer. And that was the start of yet another drawn-out conversation about food, leaving everyone but the two participants to trade furtive glances.

That poor bloke was in for a lot of trouble, Nora thought, and not for the first time. It was so obvious that even she noticed.

#

"What's with the glum look on your face? I know you aren't a morning person, but compared to this you usually look outright cheerful." Hange had leaned over the table, elbows resting on the table at both sides of her breakfast, and gave Nora one of those long, assessing looks, squinting at her, head cocked slightly to the side. The effect wasn't lessened by the eyepatch, not even a little.

Nora just shrugged, eyes drifting to the side. She really should have gotten the bigger mug for her tea.

"What did you do this time, Levi?" Hange asked him with mild consternation.

"Why do you think I've got something to do with her shitty mood?" His frown wasn't directed at Hange, however, but at Nora; clearly trying to suss her out.

If only those two could leave it, for once…

"Experience," Hange replied absently, considering the almost full bowl of porridge Nora was listlessly picking at with her spoon. "Why aren't you eating? You need your strength for your titan training, today."

Nora's already knotted stomach tightened further. "I'm just not hun—"

Hange cut her off, still observing her face, continuing with her line of questions. "Is that it? Are you nervous? But you were making good progress, right?"

Well, yes, she had been making progress the past few weeks. And so far, it had been less than pleasant. She wasn't nervous, per se, but rather… not looking forward to today. Experimenting with her capabilities took its toll, especially with the direction they'd been taking lately; nothing these two didn't know, already. No need to discuss it over breakfast, when she hadn't been awake longer than an hour. So, Nora tried her best not to let her thoughts show, but she probably didn't do more than a half decent job of it. She really didn't like the way Levi's expression had gone all stony, and she liked the dissecting stares on her from the two people who knew her best even less.

"I just haven't been able to take a shit for days," she blurted in her misery, because that was true as well, and it did contribute to her discomfort. That particular issue, trivial as it was, was probably stress-related, too.

Thankfully, her unorthodox and certainly unexpected confession had the desired effect; Hange blinked at her, twice, before she started to giggle, and even Levi's steely scrutiny lost a bit of its edge, his mouth twitching briefly at one corner.

"That's what you get from eating so much chocolate," he told her, utterly unsympathetic, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed.

The hint of a smile tugged at Nora's lips for the first time today. It was something, at least. "Well, if that's the reason, then it was absolutely worth it."

###

Levi could feel the vibrations of the Colossal's steps each time they impacted on the ground, even all the way up the tree. He was close enough he could easily reach her with his gear, and close enough he couldn't feel the crisp winter air anymore; the balmy temperature was weirdly at odds with the frosted landscape surrounding them. The enormous feet left a trail of thawed, brownish grass behind.

The way Nora moved when she was in there could only be described as sluggish. Still, you could cross a significant distance in a single step if you were sixty metres tall.

But that changed when she transformed the second time in a row, which was the main point of today's practice.

The experiences with Eren's titan were what had prompted them to have Nora attempt multiple transformations, as well. By now, he was up to three identical fifteen-metre titans in a row, remaining in full control.

The Colossal was obviously a whole different story. After several tries, it was safe to say stamina wasn't one of its strong suits. The first time, Nora had managed barely more than a flailing carcass he'd had to cut her out off. Even so, the results were promising so far, better than expected.

Well, that wasn't strictly true in his case; he had expected her to pull it off. Of course, she would.

Time to get on with this. He was already bored with phase one.

Engaging his gear, Levi pushed off the tree, scaling the gigantic titan. Immediately, sweat broke out all over his skin, the stifling hot and humid air making it a pain to breathe properly. Still, as long as Nora didn't emit any steam on purpose, prolonged contact with the Colossal's body was possible without suffering even shallow burns. It was just goddamn uncomfortable.

Once he reached her height, he shot his hooks into her forehead and landed on the bone beneath her eye socket, leaning back in his harness. This close, enlarged by a factor of forty or so, and in broad daylight, it was easier than usual to distinguish the pattern of her iris from the black pupil. There was no colour gradient, just that cool-toned, dark brown; only the outer ring of the iris was even darker, almost black.

Beautiful as always—if one ignored the surrounding creepiness, and the absence of long, dark blond lashes. Her eyes were the one thing that made it indisputable that she was in there. But he definitely preferred looking at the normal-sized version, the contrast to the freckled, pale skin of her face so startling. With a heavy emphasis on the presence of skin.

"I've never seen a titan run so ridiculously slowly," he told her, swiping back the damp strands of hair clinging to his forehead. "It was more of a power walk."

She rolled those giant eyes at him. They were almost half his height.

"What? It's true. Let's just get on with the next. This one won't get any faster, no matter how much you try. You're just too damn massive." It was hard to tell, what with her skeletal face and constantly bared teeth and all, but she looked quite pissed. That she couldn't answer with one of her snappy retorts, for once—as entertaining as they were—somehow made this even funnier. "By the way, did I already tell you that you still don't have a nose the second time round? So gross."

She swung one massive arm towards her face, clearly intending to swat at him like one would at a fly. Or more like catching a butterfly, he supposed. A strange analogy, maybe, but he was pretty sure she wouldn't actually want to crush him, no matter how much he pissed her off.

He leapt away, soaring straight onto her shoulder. "So slow. Could have made us tea and still have enough time to evade that sorry excuse of an attack." And with that, he jumped off and flew back towards the giant trees.

He glanced over his shoulder just in time to see the biggest hand in existence flip him off.

When he joined Hange high up on one of the branches at the edge of the forest, she was laughing her ass off.

"What did you say to her?" she asked, wiping at her uncovered eye.

"Nothing special. She's just being a cranky brat."

Hange let out a disbelieving snort. "Yeah, sure."

Their exchange was cut short by the flash of light from Nora's second transformation, followed by a dull bang and a gust of warm wind, not as strong as before. In the half-defrosted plain in front of them now stood a thirty-metre titan; half the size and considerably less chunky than the Colossal they knew. Not nearly as destructive—Nora couldn't release much heat in this form, seeing as there wasn't enough flesh to consume in order to generate the steam—but that was the trade-off for increased agility.

As she currently demonstrated; running—sort of—over the grass, and to one of the slimmer giant trees to their left. She wrapped her arms around the trunk and pulled, probably to test her strength. It took a while and a lot of effort, by the looks of it, but the tree came unrooted eventually, crashing to the ground with a thundering crack.

The noise reverberated through Levi's body, set his teeth on edge. "I didn't tell her to make such a ruckus."

Hange's grin was somewhere between delighted and manic as she leaned over the branch and into her harness, supporting herself with her wires, so she wouldn't miss the tiniest of Nora's movements. "I'm glad I took the time to come with you two, today. This makes her titan that much more versatile. In oncoming training sessions, she should focus on learning how to use this size with the first transformation, if need be. It might save her some stamina."

Levi reached out with one arm and pulled Hange back upright by the straps of her harness. Her swinging and flailing around half mid-air while she talked annoyed the hell out of him. "Shouldn't be too much of an issue, now that she's got a feel for this one and knows how to control it." He watched as Nora moved her titan away from the edge of the forest. "It's all about the intent, just like with the explosions, and she's nothing if not wilful." And that was the nicest way he could think of saying 'stubborn as a mule'.

"Well, that's one of the reasons why you love her, isn't it?" Hange said airily—blindsiding him.

And there was that stab to his chest again, and the iron ring closing around his lungs whenever the word came up—either because Hange was nosy and obnoxious or emerging from his own shitty mind in the worst possible situations.

It was deeply unsettling, when he had, for most of his life, thought he wasn't capable of it. Not since he had been a blissfully ignorant child that still had a mother. Aside from a very few exceptions, maybe—nearly all of them dead, by now. Of course.

But not like this; never like this.

Well, he obviously was capable, after all. So much so, in fact, that he was certain this was the thing most likely to destroy him, one day. He'd probably never really get used to it.

How aggravating.

He could tell Hange to shut up and mind her own fucking business, but after dozens of tries, it was safe to say that would be a waste of breath.

"It's a pain in the ass, but not the worst thing in the world," he said instead, and somehow it felt like he wasn't just talking about Nora's wilfulness. "Sometimes, at least."

Hange was suddenly oddly quiet beside him, probably watching his expression—not that there could be much to see there. Levi decided he didn't want to know what kind of shitty look she had on her face, so he kept his eyes straight ahead, trained on Nora's titan. She'd brought it down to its knees, head bent, and was freeing herself from the neck. She swung down to the ground with her ODM gear, almost disappearing from sight in the intensifying cloud of steam.

Without further comment, he left Hange's side to join Nora on the ground.

The harsh, deep red marks from her transformation lent her face a gaunt appearance. Compared to normal-sized titans like Eren's or her pure form, which he would—and thank fuck for that—never see again, the Colossal's flesh left a devastating trace; Nora's dark eyes looked huge and sunken embedded in crimson patches of flesh, the creepiness only played up by the vertical, equally red marks hollowing out her cheeks in broad, regular stripes.

Like a pretty, animated corpse.

If he was being honest—and he pretty much always was, especially to himself—he despised looking at her while she had those marks, while her skin was slowly knitting back together, releasing faint trails of steam. The sight never failed to remind him just how close she had come to dying, and how close she always would be on every future mission, both in spite and because of her titan. And that, even if she managed to survive being Marley's biggest target size-wise, they didn't know the damage this power would do to her in the long run.

And that it was all his fault.

It had been his choice, and he had made it because the alternative had been out of the question. So, now and always, he chose not to look away.

But there was one person alive he blamed more than himself, and hell was he looking forward to fulfilling that particular promise.

What he had done to Nora was inextricably linked to what he'd done to Erwin, after all.

Sometimes he couldn't decide which of them had got the shorter end of the stick.

Levi might not be one for regret, but he certainly had his experience with guilt. On days he really felt like torturing himself with useless contemplations, he imagined what Erwin would have said to his decision—had he had the chance to say something.

Erwin had once, and only once, commented on Levi's 'affections'. It would be quite unfortunate if it interfered with your duties in the Survey Corps.

Yeah, quite unfortunate, indeed; just not for Levi, himself. The commander's unmatched knack for foresight had made for good comedy, every now and then.

It hadn't been any fun on that day, though. So maybe, Levi's choice would have been as much a relief to Erwin as the last words they'd exchanged had suggested.

I know you wanted to reach that goddamned cellar, Erwin, despite everything, Levi thought to himself. But let me tell you; you didn't miss a thing.

He pushed those unproductive thoughts away. They always tended to creep up on him in situations like this one.

"Now that was what I would call a half-decent jog," he said to Nora.

The only reaction he got for that was her lips pressing together in mild annoyance; she was watching her titan disintegrate, contemplative. "No matter how much I hurry, I never manage to get a proper look at the face before it starts dissolving."

"You're not missing anything. It's ugly as sin."

"Rude," she answered dryly, as unperturbed as she could be, her eyes still on the vanishing carcass.

He considered her a moment. It was kind of ludicrous that she had to deal with this shit and didn't even get to see it. Before he could think better of it, he said, "You could have someone use one of those Marleyan what's-it-called sometime—you know, the things that make those shitty black-and-white pictures."

"A camera." She gave him a lopsided smile, and he immediately decided the suggestion was the right choice. "Yeah, good idea."

They watched her titan dissolve the rest of the way in silence. Once it was gone entirely, the brisk winter air stung Levi's sweat-dampened skin like a thousand icy pinpricks.

Next to him, Nora had started to shiver slightly.

Dammit. He'd really like to call it a day. Take a hot shower, make a bucketful of tea. But they still had some daytime left. And they never ran out of work.

"What do you say? Want to try a third?" He hated himself a little for asking.

Nora's posture and expression stiffened almost imperceptibly. Just enough that he noticed. Just enough that he hated himself a little more.

The tension released an instant later, together with a resigned sigh, her shoulders sagging. "Ugh. Fuck it, why not. It's not like I'll die." She shrugged, threw him a wry look that did not quite have the usual effect, what with the stark red marks around her eyes and along her cheeks. "You better be ready," she said ominously, the outcome she expected clear.

Really, her optimism rivalled his.

#

Yeah, that didn't go well. They'd reached the Colossal's boundaries. All they got from the third try was half a carcass lying face-down in the grass, steaming, unmoving and unresponsive. The only flesh remaining was at the nape of its neck, where Nora seemed to be trapped. Levi cut her out, taking his time, making a generous arch with his blades. He had no desire to cut off her fingertips; once had been enough.

She wasn't even conscious, and he had to wait a solid five minutes until he could separate her from the titan without tearing off half her face in the process. It took another fifteen minutes until he and Hange got her awake, and then she couldn't even remember her last transformation. Not to mention the hell of a nosebleed it had given her.

At the very least, she ought to banish him to the chair in the office for the night. The nutcase probably wouldn't, though.

The little experiment had exhausted Nora to the point she struggled to keep her eyes open on their way back to the base, swaying in her saddle. Occasionally, she'd dab at her nose with the tissue he had given her—the second, already. Levi rode close by her side, expecting her to fall off her horse at any moment.

And the marks on her face, usually gone within minutes, lasted until nightfall.