May the 4th be with you.
"So, you're going to be having your first-ever date in a few days or so, huh?" Iroh asked gently as he removed the porcelain kettle that was several centuries old off of the oven burner. My older friend had immediately noticed my pale complexion when I had announced my presence, and he had ushered me into his 'office' and seated me in parental-like manner.
His concern, naturally, morphed into humor as I relayed to him my conundrum, though his laughter thankfully was more sympathetic in nature, as he started brewing a pot of tea for us.
"Yes. Probably tomorrow or the day after."
"Oh?" Iroh asked as he gathered the rest of his tea set, a family heirloom of priceless value. "Any particular reason for having it so soon?" I nodded my head.
"There's one or two," I admitted softly. "The first is because I'm terrified that somehow I'll muck everything up if I continue to feel panicky over it. I love Mordred. I want her to have a good time." I paused, frowning slightly. "I don't want to give her the impression that dating is a difficult or bad thing. I'm pretty sure this is the first time anyone's asked her out."
Iroh made a sound of understanding, his head bobbing slightly as he delicately placed the tray on the small table between us. I watched in silent fascination as Iroh performed his tea ceremony once again. For the act of simply serving tea, the idea of it being made into some sort of elaborate ritual of any kind would have been simply ludicrous to me.
The way he moved his hands held the same grace as many of Chaldea's Servants used their own weapons. Every movement was calculated, and yet it appeared so simple. Mordred would have slugged me in the shoulder and rolled her eyes, affectionately referring to me as an idiot, but it really was like watching a priceless piece of art being made before my very eyes.
Even better, said 'art' here typically tasted good!
The momentary distraction provided by the tea ceremony helped me to relax somewhat. Iroh offered me a cup, and I graciously accepted it. I blew softly on the hot liquid, taking a moment to examine it.
The tea had a bright, orange-yellow color, and was clear. My nose twitched slightly, and I inhaled a small whiff of the exotic-looking brew, detecting a sort of flowery fragrance from it. My eyes darted upwards, and I saw Iroh doing something similar with closed eyes, a blissful expression on his face.
"To your health, Jacob." Iroh said as he opened his eyes. I nodded slightly.
"And to yours as well, Iroh," I responded. Then, almost in unison, the two of us raised our cups to our lips and gently sipped the freshly-brewed tea.
I could feel my eyes lighting up the instant that the warm liquid hit my tongue. It had a uniquely sweet taste that lasted long after I finished my sip. In a state of mild-disbelief, I took another sip, before lowering my cup slightly, staring at Iroh in a state of awe.
"I think I've seen heaven," I said. Perhaps it was a bit over-the-top dramatic but come on! This tea tasted almost divine to my tastebuds! "What type of tea is this?"
"A variation of the brew called Da Hong Pao, or Big Red Robe in English. It's one of the Wuyi rock tea from Fujian Province," Iroh explained. I hummed, before taking my third (and largest) sip, desiring to taste tea again.
"It's damn good," I finally said. Iroh grinned wildly, and I couldn't help but tilt my head at him. "What's funny?"
"Well, considering that among tea circles Da Hong Pao is considered to be the king of tea, it better be good! Also, don't drink it too fast! I can't guarantee I'll be able to brew another batch of this in the near future!" That had my brow furrowed, and I lowered my cup.
"What do you mean?"
"There are only six mother trees left from which one can gather Da Hong Pao leaves. With the proper amount of leaves, you could buy a house with it!" Iroh explained, and I felt my eyes bugging out in shock. I couldn't believe it. Yes, I had been shown the truth about just how wonderful and powerful tea could be, but even then, that sounded beyond ridiculous!
"I guess this is tea that one would literally kill so they could get their hands on it," I said rather numbly, and Iroh grunted softly, a look of mild disgust on his features.
"Indeed. Especially considering most of those would be after the money, not realizing what they're missing out on."
"Agreed. Then again, considering the whole of human history, I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised at the idea," I said rather sadly, and the mood dimmed a bit. I absent-mindedly took another sip of my tea, leaving the porcelain vessel half-empty now, as I got lost in morbid thoughts.
Part of the sadness I now felt was more rooted in the fact that I had by now killed at least a hundred of my fellow men. Granted, by correcting history, technically I hadn't killed them, but it didn't take away the memories of their shock and pained expressions. The smell of fear, blood, sweat, and death. Once more, I wondered if this was similar to the bouts of depression that my grandfather had gone from time to time, hunched over a table and nursing an entire bottle of straight whisky with a distant look in his eyes.
As much as I hated it, though, and though I was also training him, I'd rather it be solely me who dealt with this, rather than Ritsuka experiencing this as well. My younger friend was just too…innocent, in a sense, to become a killer like I was forced to become. The logical part of my brain constantly chided me over this, saying that it just wasn't feasible considering the odds we were up against. But damn it, I wanted to at least delay that day for as long as possible.
Thankfully, I was finally shaken from my state of brooding by a gentle, shaking sensation, and a firm grip on my right shoulder. I blinked rapidly, my eyes refocusing on the portly man and the teacup in my hand. "Sorry, I spaced out there," I said with a small, sheepish smile. Iroh clucked his tongue once.
"It's an open secret that both you and young Ritsuka are under much stress as Chaldea's only Masters, Jacob. All the more reason that you should focus on the good, and relax and enjoy life during moments like these," my friend said, once more slipping into the role of a sage. I nodded in agreement, though quickly stilled when I saw the mischievous look crossing Iroh's face.
"And what finer way is there than a first date? Tell me, what have you got planned for Mordred?"
I didn't immediately answer Iroh's question. Instead, I slowly finished my cup of tea. Swallowing the sweet-tasting liquid, I gingerly placed the teacup onto the tray, before pushing my chair back somewhat. I saw Iroh raising an eyebrow quizzically and he started to open his mouth, just as my head began its descent.
The sensation of my forehead lightly smacking the wooden table felt surprisingly good considering the mild headache I had been dealing with since Jeanne's playful jab earlier. I let out a long, low groan that elicited both a low chuckle and a soft exclamation of sympathy from my fellow tea-admirer. "I have no fucking idea, Iroh…"
"That does pose a bit of a problem, wouldn't it?" Iroh said. I raised my head up off the table and fixed him with an utterly flat glare. "Hey, it got you to pick your head up, didn't it?"
I grudgingly nodded my head, though grumbling under my breath for a few seconds as Iroh refilled both of our teacups. "I don't want to make it too formal, but not informal. I thought of sparring, but that's just a way for Mordred and me to exercise and burn off energy."
"Not to mention difficult to turn into a date, let alone the first one," Iroh added dryly, and I coughed, feeling my ears burning slightly. I ignored the add-on responsible and continued speaking.
"I sure as hell don't want it to simply be us in a room or walking around just talking. First of all, that's not a date. That's just a part of our normal routine. Secondly, whatever I end up deciding to do for my date with Mordred, I would rather it be something that wouldn't be associated with any of our more typical routines."
"Glad to hear that you have that thought. The last thing you would want, Jacob, is to cause your partner to start associating more mundane things with having potentially romantic undertones to it. From what I've seen and heard, she wouldn't handle it very well." I nodded empathically.
"Exactly! Plus, I want to make her feel special! From what I've seen and learned, only her previous Master did anything truly nice for her, with no real ulterior motive. I want to…I want to make her happy," I said, cringing slightly at the heartfelt but cliché words I had just uttered. I closed my eyes, waiting for my companion to start laughing at that last part. When it came, however, it wasn't mocking, but actual enjoyment! I opened my eyes cautiously.
"Ah, young and heartfelt love. How it warms this man's old heart to see it once more," Iroh said with a sad and nostalgic look in his eyes. Perhaps thinking about his own wife and how he met her? Or his deceased son?
I kept quiet, not even letting the tea make even the slightest of sounds as I let my older colleague reminiscence in his memories.
A few minutes later, Iroh blinked rapidly, shaking his head slightly. He chuckled softly, realizing what had just happened. "Sorry about that. Just an old man remembering past days, you know?" I nodded, and Iroh stroked his beard, humming softly before snapping his fingers in an 'ah-ha' moment.
"Have you considered maybe a romantic dinner?"
I blinked owlishly at Iroh, causing the fire mage to sigh in mild exasperation as he reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. He shook his head sadly. "Kids these days…" I couldn't help but blush at the mild rebuke. Looking back up at me, my friend gave me a lopsided but warm smile.
"I see that it was most fortunate that you're discussing your little dilemma with me. I dread to imagine what you would have ended up with in the first place." He paused, drinking some more Da Hong Pao. "Even if Chaldea's cinema room was working, a movie date is not ideal for a first date. At least, that's been my opinion. For example, do you even know if Mordred likes movies, and if she does, what her favorite genres are?"
"No. I mean, I have some movies downloaded on my laptop, plus a few dozen more on DVD, but I haven't really touched them since I left home," I admitted. Iroh nodded in satisfaction, making a 'there you have it' style gesture with his free hand.
"And if you don't know what kinds of films she would or wouldn't like, that's adding unnecessary risk on your date going poorly. While I'm sure that it's theoretically possible of using Sheba to find a more current era to take Mordred on a date to, there are still too many risks at the present moment. That's not to say that sometime down the road, that option won't be open. But, like you said, your date is coming up very soon. So, why not try one of the more classical methods of dating?"
"Candlelight dinner? Isn't that a bit cliché, though?" I couldn't help but ask. I wouldn't deny that I held a few romantic ideas ever since I was a kid reading about King Arthur and the Knights of the Roundtable, the Song of Roland, and other similar pieces of literature, but even to me, that felt a bit…old-fashioned, among other things.
Iroh stared at me with a mixture of disappointment and exasperation, and I laughed nervously under my breath before drinking some more tea from my own cup. "I won't deny that it's a bit stereotypical, but if it still works after all these decades, it works. Though, I wouldn't phrase it as being a candlelight dinner."
"Fair," I admitted, warming up to the idea slowly. Considering that I didn't exactly have any alternatives, it wasn't exactly a tedious task to do. "But there's still a problem, I can't exactly cook." I felt rather silly uttering those words, and sure enough, Iroh arched an eyebrow at me, rather unimpressed.
"You are talking to Chaldea's head chef, remember? Just leave the finer details to me. Will you be fine with having dinner at eight tomorrow night?"
"You can make that happen?" I ask with a bit of skepticism, but Iroh nodded confidently.
"Yes. It won't be in the cafeteria, granted, but I can get one of the secondary cafeterias set up, and I'll personally oversee the cooking of you and Mordred's meal." My shocked expression quickly morphed into one of sheer relief.
"If you're willing to do that for me, then I will gladly accept!" I exclaimed, and we both laughed merrily. Then, yet another thought hits me, and I suffer once more from emotional whiplash. "I still have to worry about my look. Shit, I should get my hair cut. Do you know anyone who has some barber skills? Oh, and I have to figure out what to wear! Damn…huh, maybe my dress wear would do—ow!" I exclaimed, my verbal diarrhea being cut off as I felt a wooden object being lightly rapped against the top of my head.
"Relax," Iroh commanded sternly, waving the wood spoon he had used to cut me off. I instantly straightened up like a guilty student being disciplined. "I must admit, it's interesting to see that one of Chaldea's two Masters can be easily whipped up into a panic, though I sympathize why."
I said nothing to his rebuke, sipping my tea as my fellow tea-lover continued speaking. "This is the first date for the two of you, after you and Mordred have been together for almost a month or so now, yes?" I nodded. "Then how do you think she would react tomorrow if she saw you dressed up like you were going to the opera or something like that?" It took a certain degree of skill for someone to be able to speak both sternly and kindly. It seems that was yet another of Iroh's skills.
"It would cause her to go into a panic or tsundere-type mood," I said rather grimly, and Iroh nodded, sitting down with his point being made. "So, what you are saying is to just be myself?"
"Essentially. Obviously, make it clear that you put some effort into planning and all, but don't go overboard! The two of you are already in a confirmed relationship. There's no need to completely woo her."
"Fair," I said, relaxing once more. Iroh was right. I was overthinking this. Unnecessarily so. The whole point of a date was to have fun, after all. Stress and overthinking would make that near impossible to be felt by either of us. A few more minutes passed as we silently indulged once more in finishing up the expensive tea, before Iroh spoke up once more.
"So, what do you think Mordred is doing right now?" I laughed dryly, and Iroh titled his head quizzically at me. I gave him a lopsided smirk before delivering my response.
"If I had to guess, Mordred's probably being interrogated and harassed by now."
"So, I think that congratulations are in order, oui?" Marie asked with that damn, deceptively innocent smile beaming at Mordred. The knight released the breath that she had been holding out violently, glowering at Mash, Jeanne, and Marie.
Jacob referred to them as her friends, but Mordred wasn't sure. She didn't mind hanging out with them (at least, most of the time these days), but she didn't think that she was close or anything with the three girls. Sure, their little 'get-together' felt more satisfying than any of the meetings with the other knights that Fa-that Arthur over saw. But that didn't make people friends….did it?
Mordred shook her head, her messy ponytail dancing behind her slightly at the sudden movement. "If it wasn't for the whole 'no murdering other Servants' rule, Amadeus's shit would be shoved in by now," Mordred grumbled. Marie laughed, Jeanne gasped, and Mash shot her such a reproachful glare that the Knight of Rebellion momentarily saw the knight contracted to her instead of the Demi-Servant. "What? That was a private conversation!"
"Oui, and if it helps, I did give him a firm rebuke for that," Marie admitted with a rare, serious look in her eyes. Huh, so that's why the Caster had a bright red handprint on his left cheek the next morning. Bah, guess that'll have to do.
"Doesn't mean you weren't excited or anything hearing it," Mordred shot back, and the Rider nodded without even trying to deny that fact. Well, at least for foreign royalty, the Rider was far more honest than most nobility, from Britain, or from visiting dignitaries.
Didn't mean that the blonde knight wasn't extremely pissed about her talk with Jacob having been listen in on. She made sure that the two French Servants were aware of that with a fearsome scowl. Ruler looked away rather quickly, looking properly ashamed, but of course Rider rode it like, well, her horse.
"Oh, don't look like that, Mordred. Please. I promise you that the only thing I heard was that Jacob asked you out on a date. I swear it on the memory of my precious and beloved children," Marie said, and Mordred forced herself to relax.
There were many things the English knight could say about Marie, plenty of which weren't exactly shining compliments. But from their past interactions over the last month, Mordred had learnt that whenever the former queen mentioned her children in making promises, it was the sincerest gesture she could make.
"Good," Mordred grunted gruffly, crossing her arms and leaning back. She swung one of her bare legs over the other, the heal of her boot tapping lightly against the shin of the other. "Alright, Miss Queen of the Gossiping, let's get this over with," she growled, remaining defiant. She hadn't been defeated on this verbal battlefield. It was just a strategic retreat, and a big fuck you to anyone who would say otherwise!
Another one of that thrice-damned set giggles escaped Marie's lips as she covered them daintily with the back of her right hand. "Oh, do lighten up, Mordred. We, as your friends, merely want to ensure that you have a most enjoyable first date."
Mordred stilled, her mouth opening and closing rapidly, but no words could be formed. Mash looked equally out of place, though Mordred knew that was more due to that lack of self-confidence Shieldy had deep down. And as always, Jeanne and Marie looked far too eager and entertained by this for Mordred's tastes.
She opened her mouth to deliver a 'fuck off' to the two French Servants, as she normally would have done in this situation. The Knight of Rebellion stopped at the last moment, however. As much as it killed her to admit it even in the safety of her mind, she was nervous about the date tomorrow.
The person she was most willing to discuss this with was the person who asked her out. She didn't want to make both of them self-conscious. Plus, Jacob had been harping on her to try opening up to some of the other Servants, so maybe this could work.
If nothing else, it might be enough to get her lover to shut up about the topic in the future. Was it petty? Probably. Would she enjoy doing so? Almost certainly.
So, swallowing her pride for once, Mordred settled on scowling. "Fine. You'll just start sharing one of those annoying stories of yours otherwise," she growled in frustration. And she had thought Mother was cruel!
…Well, she was, but it was a damn figure of speech!
"That's the spirit. So, how are you feeling about it?"
Again, Mordred felt the instinct, the urge, to bluster her way through the question by claiming she was fine, and that it would hardly be a challenge. Oh, how the knight yearned to do exactly that. However, in the back of her mind, a calm voice that she imagined sounded like her last Master gently chided her over doing so.
"…Nervous."
"Because you've never been courted before in life?" Jeanne asked, using the more applicable term when she was alive. Mordred nodded stiffly.
"I don't like not knowing what to do. Hesitation and uncertainty is the easiest way a knight'll find 'emselves dead on the battlefield."
"I mean, what am I supposed to do? Sure as hell not wearing a dress," Mordred snarled, more at the idea then at the three ladies she was with. "And I'm not keen on visiting Lady Psycho for anything nicer than what I already have on such short notice."
"Just wear what makes you feel most comfortable," Marie said simply. Mordred tossed her head to the side, huffing softly.
"What about 'manners'?" She asked, trying to hide her anxiety with disgust. Secretly, she was terrified that she might come across as a brute. She'd be damned if she admitted such a weakness to anyone, though! Jeanne rolled her eyes at Mordred, however.
"I've seen the way he looks at you, even before you two kissed," Ruler said, her pseudo-friend giving Mordred one of those damn sympathetic smiles. "You could be virtually a complete jerk and he would still love you. Though," Mordred felt a shiver of fear run down her spine as Jeanne's face darkened menacingly, "if I hear that you behaved like that to him, then you and I will be having strong words."
"Good thing that'll never happen, then," Mordred snapped back, instinctively bristling. Jeanne gazed back sternly, and the two blonde Servants had a tense stare-off. A competition that was only ended due to the intervention of an intrigued yet bored Marie.
The French Rider coughed loudly, causing Mordred and Jeanne to flinch. "Jeanne, while we appreciate you being protective of Master Jacob, I think it's safe to say that Mordred would never do that," the Flower of Versailles said, giving her friend and countrywoman a pointed look.
Mordred snickered silently at seeing Jeanne's face exploding into a bright red, and the Ruler seemed to shrink in on herself slightly. Ruler laughed awkwardly as her wide eyes darted around the room.
"So, Jeanne's yandere mode aside, she's not wrong. Just try to be yourself, and relax," Marie said with a simple smile. Mordred blinked slowly as she stared dryly at the self-declared 'leader' of their little group. "Jacob's the one who will be responsible for making sure everything goes well, and I am absolutely confidant the two of you will have a lovely night. However, you might want to avoid him for most of the day tomorrow."
"Huh?" Mordred asked, one of her eyebrows sharply raised.
"It will reduce any chances of awkwardness when the two of you are talking on your date. If I had to guess, it'll probably be a special dinner, or something like that. The food will take up some of the time, but if you spend the whole day together, before the date, you'll both just be sitting at a table awkwardly."
Mordred stared at the petite Rider silently, mulling over Marie's words. She did have a point, even if she wasn't looking forward to spending another night on her own. Still. Anything to avoid somehow screwing everything up!
"Fine. Can we stop talking about this, though? Otherwise, I'm leaving," Mordred said gruffly, making to stand up even as the knight said those words. She was about half-way up when Marie emphatically waved at Mordred to sit down.
"Wait, wait, Mordred. We still need to discuss phase two of 'Operation Lovebird'!" Mordred stared at Marie, as did Jeanne and Mash, as if the Rider had gone completely mad(der). The first thing that clued Mordred in on just what, or rather who, Marie was talking about was the predatory gaze she had fixed upon Mash.
Mordred groaned loudly, cupping her head and shaking it slightly in dismay. "I can't believe you actually gave it a name, Rider…"
"What? It's a good codename! "
"That may be the case, Marie, but I think what Mordred is saying is that it's a bit, ah, excessive," Jeanne said in her typical diplomatic manner. Mordred felt a flicker of amusement at seeing the Flower of Versailles crossing her arms and harumphing.
"Everyone's a critic these days. We're getting off-track here, though! Jacob's already asked Mordred out on a date. That means that Mash should start getting ready to make her own move on Ritsuka!"
"M-Me?!" Mash spluttered in shock, her eyes wide. Mordred couldn't help but nod.
"Yeah. Sorry Shieldy, but I kinda have to agree with Rider here. It was cute at first, but the whole tiptoeing and waiting for Ritsuka to make the first move shtick is getting old. Just kiss or fuck already, will ya?"
"M-M-MORDRED!" Ruler's shocked tone had the knight in question rolling her eyes. What a drama queen. Everyone was more or less thinking the same thing. Everyone.
Mash looked more like a tomato, while the last person in the room was leaning back in her chair, roaring with laughter. "My, you really don't pull your punches even when off the field, Mordred!" The knight in question merely grunted and shrugged, happy though that the conversation was being re-focused on someone else. "Okay, now, Mash. I saw and heard some of what you did with Ritsuka during our deployment, and I have to say…"
As Mordred half-tuned out the talkative pipsqueak, her eyes flicked over to the door, trying to think of any possible outcomes that tomorrow night may hold, even though Marie had seemed to insist on her avoiding that. But hey, you know what? Old habits die hard.
By the love of whatever counts, please don't let her make a fool of herself in front of Jacob.
Original endnotes: And done! Originally planned for this to be a short chapter...and it ended up becoming a more full-length one. Been having that trend overall recently, it seems. Eh, I'm sure none of you reading the story will mind that small detail, huh? :P So, what did you think? Did I go too cringy? I've never written a date scene before, and that also includes writing the two involved getting ready and all. I hope it was an enjoyable read like always, but please let me know! Protective Jeanne is so adorable and scary, eh? Also, I finally get to reveal what I've had planned for Jacob and Mordred's first date to be! Hope you all aren't disappointed with the reveal, because I sure as hell am not expecting any true disappointment for the chapter(s) covering the date itself! :) Finally, sorry if I made Mordred feel too OOC this chapter, though I hope (and pray) I did a respectable job staying true to her overall personality and whatnot like I've been thus far.
On an irl note, Da Hong Pao is an actual tea, and what I wrote describing it is factual. I've never tried it, sadly, but what the hell kind of tea-lover would any version of Iroh be if he never even tried it, right?
Now, for the question(s) of the chapter! First up: I've been thinking of some background Servant x Servant pairings, and I want to hear y'alls input on some of them, so here's the first two pairings- Asterios and Euryale, and Drake and Astolfo. Let me know what you think!
Once again, thanks for reading another chapter of this story! Feel free to leave thoughts, comments, and feedback as always, and I really hope you enjoyed the chapter! I can't wait to hear from y'all, and have a wonderful next few days! See you in Chapter 83! :)
Updated Endnotes 5/4/22: Hope you enjoyed it. Been busy irl, so been focused on updating the original copy on Ao3. Have a great day, and until next time.