I am already done with editing this one, so I thought I won't let you sit too long with the previous little cliffhanger.

Chapter 22: Here's to Broken People

"Niccolo, please! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please, wait—"

Nora and her squad mates had just left the mess hall and stepped outside when Sasha's screaming stopped them dead in their tracks.

They turned—only to see, shadowed by the glaring sun at his back, a tall, blond man hastening towards them. Sasha was following a few steps behind, frantic.

Nora squinted against the sunlight.

Niccolo's face was contorted into a mask of blind rage.

Oh, fuck.

That was all she could think in the short span of the few seconds before he reached them. She didn't even have the time to take more than a single step backwards.

"I'm going to kill you!" And the next instant, he had seized her by her neck, slamming her against the wall, almost crushing her windpipe.

Darkness crept in from the edges of her vision.

Nora kneed him in the groin, hard. He groaned, his hand slipping from her throat as he doubled over. She pushed him face-down to the ground by his nape, putting all her weight behind it. The next moment, she had her knee on his neck, her knife against his throat. He stopped struggling as soon as he felt the cold steel kiss his skin.

Nora was gasping for air, each excruciating breath tinder to her burning throat. "I don't want to do to you what I had to do to your brother," she rasped between coughs.

"Had to?" Niccolo was almost screaming, his speech blurred, cheek pressed against the cobblestone. "You had to do shit all; he was just a guy going home from work, he didn't deserve—"

"You're right," she told him evenly, in spite of the cold, iron ring around her lungs.

Immobilised as he was against the ground, he was staring at her from the very corner of his eye, like a panicked horse. Except there was something else in there, overshadowing his fear.

Seething hatred.

Well, it was far too late for pretence. Far too late for anything else but complete honesty, the awful, ugly truth.

And Nora preferred it this way, even though she shouldn't. She couldn't help it.

Finally, it was all out there where it belonged, and she could face it head-on, and then move on.

"I did it because I put my comrades and myself over a stranger who attacked me and wanted to turn us in." He froze beneath the weight of her bearing down on his neck, and even his ragged breathing stopped for a beat. That was when Nora noticed the tremor in her hand, the drop of blood her blade had drawn from Niccolo's throat. She didn't relax her death grip on her knife, but she let up a millimetre. "It wasn't fun," she continued, wrestling each word from her painfully tight jaw. "But this is a war, and I'm not a fucking martyr. He made a choice, and so did I."

By now, Niccolo was a mess of tears and snot, chest heaving. The fury in his face crumbled, revealing an expression stricken with soul-crushing grief.

It hurt her far, far more than his attack had.

He took her by surprise when he sobbed, "So that is—that is why you stopped coming by…"

As if it was of relevance, now that he knew. As if it mattered one bit.

Nora didn't know what to say. It wasn't even a question.

She watched him quietly for a few seconds, until he calmed down at least outwardly, until the flood of tears abated, until his face set, just so containing the boundless anger and sadness. "I'm going to let go of you now. Another assault, and we'll have to lock you up."

He nodded against the stone, and she jumped back, out of his reach, knife at the ready. Just in case. She wasn't about to let herself get killed outside of battle in the middle of a sodding war—not that Niccolo currently had the means to. But Levi would be furious at such inaptitude—and she would be, well, dead.

Slowly, Niccolo clambered back on his feet, panting, rubbing at his sore, flaming red cheek. He avoided Nora's gaze, and she was glad of it.

Sasha had stood by, just like the rest of the squad, too shocked to intervene during the short and intense confrontation. No, that wasn't quite right, Nora saw; Sasha aside, they had adopted a fighting stance, ready to come to her aid; but they hadn't needed to, seeing as she'd had a handle on the situation.

Tears were streaming down Sasha's cheeks. She looked almost as distraught as Niccolo had, and she was still begging him, repeating herself over and over. Her accent was thicker than Nora had ever heard it. She only ever slipped into the old habit when she was very upset.

"Niccolo, please. She didn't wanna—we didn't wanna—"

"Don't talk to me," he snarled, whipping around to meet her wide eyes with his, narrowed in fury. "Don't even look at me." Clenching his fists, he took two steps backwards. "You're all devils. I knew it. I should never have—" And now he did look at Sasha again, and she at him. His jaw was as wobbly as his voice, his eyes still teary, and something in his expression just… broke.

And so did Sasha's.

Niccolo turned, and left without looking back.

For good.

"I'm sorry," Sasha told Nora between sobs, squeezing her forearm. "I didn't know he'd hurt you."

Nora shook her head, nonsensically. The whole exchange had simply left her drained, and what had occurred seemed unreal. It took her a few seconds to gather herself enough to answer. "It's fine. I'm fine." It sounded hollow, but it was true enough. Her throat had already stopped hurting.

"You really messed up, Sasha," Connie said, but stroked her upper arm soothingly.

Jean simply shook his head at her, but spared her any reprimands. He likely knew it would be like kicking someone who was already down.

"I'm sorry," Sasha blubbered out again, crying even harder.

"We'll have to tell the commander." Armin squeezed Sasha's shoulder apologetically.

"The captain's gonna kill him if he hears what he did to her," Eren said, nodding at Nora's throat, where any traces of the attack surely had already disappeared.

The calm, matter-of-fact remark stunned her a little. Yes, the squad occasionally made fun of her because of her relationship to 'the captain'—not in his presence, of course—but Eren had never brought the subject up, as far as she remembered. And then it was something rather debatable, something that concerned Levi more than her. Inexpressive, imperturbable Levi.

"Don't be—" Nora stopped herself from saying 'ridiculous'. That might be too strong a word because, admittedly, it wouldn't be the most far-fetched thing that had ever come true in the absurdity that was her life. But still, it was surely a gross exaggeration, so she continued, "—overly dramatic. It's not that big a deal."

"Wanna bet?" Jean said, one brow raised at her.

One corner of Nora's lips curved, but it didn't feel at all like a smile. "I'm good. Not really in the mood."

"So… who's going to break the news to him?" Mikasa asked into the round, as if this was about something as trite as a cleaning job badly done. She was rubbing Sasha's back, though. Maybe she was more empathetic to the situation than she let on beneath that Ackerman stoicism.

Nora sighed. The necessary course of action was crystal-clear. "I better do that myself. You all can go tell Hange in the meantime."

"C'mon," Connie said gently, hooking Sasha under. She was sniffling, wiping at her red nose with her sleeve. Her eyes were puffy, her shoulders sagging.

"Sorry," she whispered at Nora, one last time.

#

"He did what?" Levi's voice was sharp as a blade. He had leapt up from his seat, bracing his hands on the desk and leaning forward.

Nora shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "It's not like I didn't deserve it."

His narrowed eyes were fastened on her face, reading her like an open book. After mere seconds, she couldn't stand his scrutiny any longer, her gaze skittering sideways. She hoped against hope the tight knot in her stomach did not reflect in her expression, or in her body language. Realising how tense she was all over, she forcefully relaxed her stance, unclenching fists and dropping shoulders.

It was no wonder, was it? Everyone would be a wee bit upset right after such an unpleasant encounter.

"I don't give a single shit about what you deserve," Levi told her, his tone distracted while he was mulling over this incident—before coming to a conclusion with a terse nod of his head. "We need to get him behind bars. He's a menace."

This was about the reaction she had expected and feared. "That isn't necessary. I can handle him, and I don't even think he'll try something again. That was right after Sasha told him. How was he supposed to react?"

"Exactly like that. But that's a problem for us, and I won't be careless and sympathetic just because you have a guilty conscience."

"I have not," she said immediately and vehemently, but Levi didn't look convinced at all. To be honest, she wasn't always sure if it was the whole truth, herself. At the very least, she didn't have any regrets, and that must count for something. "But I think I would feel guilty if Niccolo had to pay for what happened. He's not a bad person. He was one of the first to question his deeply ingrained prejudices—well, before, at least. Still, not many people are ever capable of that. And besides, Sasha would be devastated. More than she already is."

The look on Levi's face stated plainly that he didn't give a damn about Sasha's feelings in the matter, seeing as she was the one who had brought this on. Clearly, he needed some more convincing.

Nora rounded the desk separating them, coming to stand close to him, leaving just enough space she could still comfortably look up into his eyes. She put her hand flat on his chest. For a moment, she was distracted by the hint of his warm, bittersweet breath on her face, and his heartbeat beneath her palm; both were quickened a bit, likely because he was very much displeased with this newest development. The knitted brows above his darkened eyes certainly supported this theory. He did not push her away, though, remaining rooted to the spot.

"Come on," she implored. "If Niccolo really tries something again, we can still detain him. I'm not easy to break, anymore, and I won't go anywhere near him, anyway, and neither will the rest of the squad." That train had definitely left the station, as the Marleyan saying went.

By now, Levi looked so pissed that she wanted to lick him from head to toe. That would be a nice distraction, indeed, but neither advised nor productive. It was also a very inappropriate thought for the occasion, so she shoved the demented notion back into the corner of her brain where it belonged, right next to a variety of other questionable urges.

Levi huffed a sigh at last, directing his scowl away from her. "Fine, you brat. You can stop with this doe-eye shit."

"I don't—what's that even supposed to—"

The infuriating bastard went on like he hadn't heard her. "One step out of line, though, and I'll kick his sorry ass straight into the dungeons." Levi's steely gaze was dangerously intense as he took her hand, disengaging it from his chest. His fingers around hers were like vices. "Something happens to you, and I won't be that nice."

A slight shiver ran along her spine; this was one of his particular, moderately fucked-up ways of showing his affection, and she was both disconcertingly exhilarated as well as fearing for Niccolo's safety in this—thankfully—hypothetical scenario.

But that was definitely a deal worth taking, almost surprisingly so. "That's… sensible, I guess? Thanks."

"Tsk." Evidently very much over discussing the issue, he let go of her, sitting down to focus on his paperwork, again.

Something occurred to her, then, and she leant against the table, purposely covering his documents with her hand, just to be obnoxious. "By the way, this is what I'd almost call a compromise. Colour me impressed."

"Don't get used to it, you nutcase. It won't happen again."

And only when she went into the bathroom, the door falling shut behind her, did she notice; a part of the suffocating weight in her chest had lifted. Once more, however that pessimistic grump did it, he had managed to make everything a little more bearable.

###

Levi bolted upright. His chest was heaving with shallow and rapid intakes of air out of his control, his heart hammering against his throat. One second, he'd been on his knees with the empty injection in his hand, wasted and useless, and the next, he found himself sitting in bed, staring at his empty palm like an idiot.

"What the f—" Nora scrambled up, eyes wild and disoriented.

He briefly rubbed at the inner corners of his eyes with thumb and index finger, as he always did afterwards, relaxing a little when he found them dry. He had dreamt, then, right? He wasn't on that rooftop. There was no rush, no one to chase, and most importantly, he wasn't too late. Nothing to get so worked up about. He was almost certain.

Reality slowly came back to him as he took in Nora's startled expression, only played up by the surrounding mess of hair, waving and curling in irregular patterns. Her usual massive case of bedhead.

Very much alive.

Levi wrestled his breath back under his control with measured intakes of air through his nose. Fixing his eyes on her face so that the lingering images of his dream would fade quicker.

It wasn't this vivid every time. Sometimes, if he was lucky, a greyish haze remained, the distance dulling the excruciating experience somewhat, and he was on some level aware it wasn't real. Other times, he was very much not lucky.

But this was the first time he'd jolted awake like the world's fastest lunatic, startling Nora out of her sleep in the process. It was probably nothing more than a lucky coincidence he hadn't hit her head with his elbow or something. With the force he exerted when he moved like this, that wouldn't have been pleasant for her.

"What the hell were you dreaming?" she asked, staring at him intently. Her puzzle-solving-face.

"Nothing out of the ordinary." It was technically true. Thanks to his sleeping habits, there weren't too many chances for nightmares to pester him, but every now and then, his shitty brain would find the opportunity to drag one up, and it was usually that one. Over time, these dreams had been invading his sleep less often, at least—just as he had hoped—until it had got to a point he'd almost considered it a rare occurrence.

Ever since they'd returned from their first transcontinental recon mission, however, their frequency had increased, as if it was the first few months after the Battle all over again. Levi had several concrete ideas why that was, and they had to do with too many long, scorching hot training sessions and the lasting impression the sight of a certain abdominal stab wound had left on him. Among other things, such as her almost getting strangled the other day. Or a headache that had nearly made her head explode, just because she'd touched someone. Plus, staying in Shiganshina always fucked with his head.

"Well, that didn't seem ordinary to me," Nora was saying, shaking her head at him. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"It's nothing. I'm used to it." His voice was curt, flat, giving away nothing but his impatience as he brushed her off. But what little he had said was already too much.

"Used to it?" she echoed, and something in her face changed as a realisation hit her. Her severe brows first arched, then furrowed; consternation giving way to anger. "You're having nightmares on the regular?"

Dammit, she couldn't let it rest and just move on like he wanted to, could she? Like he always did, and as fast as possible.

"What did you think?" he snapped at her, much more harshly than he had intended.

"Well, nothing," she hissed, now close to furious, her narrowed eyes glinting, "since you usually don't really move in your sleep, barely even sleep in the first place, and never once said a bloody word about it."

"What for? It wouldn't have made any difference whatsoever." Levi couldn't think of a single thing he wanted to talk about less than this stupid, shitty issue. And fuck if he didn't hate being driven into a corner, and that was exactly where his abrupt awakening had got him. Anger was rising hotly from the pit of his stomach, and right now, he really did not care to rein it in. "Now stop nagging me and go back to sleep."

"You don't always have to be so…" Diving her hands in the hair at her temples for a moment, Nora made a frustrated sound, changing her mind about whatever she had been going to say. "You're absolutely infuriating."

Now that was rich, coming from her. "Don't give me that. You rarely ever talk about your dreams, yourself, and even then it's no more than the bare minimum."

"That's partly because you—" She scowled at her lap, worrying her lower lip with her teeth. "But you know, at least." Her indignation seemed to have left her together with the sentence. Quietly, she added, "And I think that does make a difference, for me."

Something in his chest twinged. Damn it all, but if she wasn't the only person in the world who could drive him up the wall and make him feel guilty at the same time.

He gave his best to keep the edge out of his voice. "It's only sometimes. Not like it's for you." After all, shifter dreams were on a whole different level. Especially when she had overexerted herself that same day. Add to that that her nightmares had already been bad enough on their own—before another person's memories had joined the party—and Levi was left wondering how she managed to get any sleep, to bear it at all.

"Look," he said, "I don't really give a damn, and I don't see why I should bother you with irrelevant shit like this when you've got enough on your own plate at night."

Nora directed her frown back at him and immediately replied, determined, "This has got nothing to do with me. You should wake me up when—"

"I'm absolutely not going to wake you up just because I had the same shitty nightmare for the one hundred and twenty-fifth time or so."

The second it had come out, Levi had to suppress the urge to smack himself on the forehead; now he was just shovelling his own grave.

Nora's face went very still, round eyes glued to his, the gears in her head surely going full speed. "It's always the same?"

Shit. This was beyond pathetic and exasperating. He kept silent while he analysed her expression, trying to figure out how to proceed from here.

As much as he hated this goddamn annoying torment of a conversation, something hit him as he took in the look on her face, both concerned and… uncertain.

She had told him things she'd never told anyone before. She had confided in him, trusted him with the most painful experiences she'd gone through.

He could refuse, could tell her to drop it, and she would. But then, she'd probably be less likely to feel comfortable enough telling him about her problems and… whatever shit else, going forth. Knowing her, she might think she'd be a nuisance to him otherwise.

He didn't like that thought at all. No matter the subject, he despised not knowing what was going on, and that applied to anything related to her, in particular. He didn't need to ask himself why that was.

"Pretty much the same, most times," he answered at last, as if it was easy, as if it was nothing. And really, it should have been. It wasn't real, for fuck's sake, and it was in the past.

Instead, it wasn't simply a pain in the ass to deal with. It was a disgusting weakness. Nora was his biggest weakness, and because he was an asshole, it was sometimes hard not to punish her for it. Offence had always been the only defence he'd known.

But he had punished her enough already.

So, Levi did what he always did, but what was a whole lot more difficult when it concerned her; he concentrated on the facts, on the essentials. Shutting away the unnecessary rest.

"It's Shiganshina. Usually just what went down—up to the point I use the injection on you. It doesn't work, you're dead, I wake up. That's it." He left out the parts with Erwin that sometimes preceded what he had just described. Elaborating on this would do neither of them any good.

Nora was completely silent for several seconds, eyes huge and unblinking. "Right. No big deal." Her voice was wooden and dry as a bone.

"Exactly." It was a bit difficult to get the word out because his throat had tightened, and it sounded strange, terse and flat. And brittle.

Even though his face felt numb and frozen and hard as stone, he clearly must not seem quite as detached and unflappable as usual, because she didn't look convinced at all, and for once, she wouldn't look away even as the silence stretched, her dark eyes ceaselessly scanning his face.

"I know you're angry about what I became, what you made me, of course—at us both—but I just had no idea you have—you are—that, after all this time, the moment itself, that memory, is still so—" She was scrambling for words, as she always did with uncomfortable subjects such as this one, leaving him guessing what the hell it was she couldn't bring herself to say to him. "I mean, considering all the shit you've always had to deal with, and you are so…" Again, she trailed off, shaking her head, unable to meet his eyes. Hesitant, repeating herself, she just finished with, "I didn't know you have nightmares, is all. Not about anything, and… not about this."

A noise full of annoyance escaped from his throat, his vexation flaring once again. "Hell, it's not exactly all that surprising, is it?" And because he always ended up telling her more than intended, even if she didn't ask, he continued, "You can only be this ignorant because you weren't… you weren't there. For any of it. You practically died, right under my nose, and it wasn't pretty. In fact, you looked just about as fucked-up and gruesome as it can get. Worse than any other corpse I've seen all my life, and that's really saying something."

And it wasn't even close. He was so used to blood and innards and missing limbs and empty gazes it sometimes barely touched him. Not in a way that he could feel, at least. But it was her, and it hadn't just been her arms missing from the elbows, but also her goddamned skin, leaving behind a bloody, torn and burnt mess. And the necklace. Leaving behind just enough he could still recognise her.

His dreams didn't exactly help him forget any of the nasty details, and what it had been like when he'd thought…

All of a sudden, his ribcage felt too tight to breathe properly. His jaw hurt. He couldn't seem to unclench it, no matter how hard he tried.

Nora didn't look angry or surprised anymore; she looked outright devastated, and it tripled his agitation and his own anger, making his insides crawl.

But the anger wasn't really directed at her.

She inched closer; close enough he had to avert his gaze, for once, glowering at the rumpled blanket covering his lap. He really needed to change the sheets—and it made no sense whatsoever that he was thinking about this right now, but here he was. And it somehow helped, brought a sense of order to this messy business.

But the strangely inappropriate notion faded into the background when Nora wrapped both her hands around his bare forearm. They were cool to the touch.

"Levi." The way she said his name stung in his chest, nearly made him flinch. "I can't apologise for what I had to do back then, what I put you through with it. I really want to, but I can't. It would be dishonest."

He looked back up at her, glad she had said something that irritated him. "I don't want or need a useless apology, you idiot. It's exactly the same the other way round, and you don't hear me apologising, either."

For an instant, she looked like she wanted to object—but then she pursed her lips, dropping the subject with a shrug of her shoulders. A smart decision, in his opinion.

After that, they sat, wordless, for long enough his pulse calmed down to its usual slow and steady pace. The whole time, Nora kept her grip on his arm.

Until her palms felt warm.

And only then she stirred, clearing her throat, breaking the tranquil silence. "This time, I'll get the tea."

She'd got up from the bed already, her delicate, bare, freckled back to him while she slipped into a loose T-shirt and pyjama bottoms—when she said something he wouldn't have known how to respond to, even if she'd given him the chance.

"You're always the one picking up my pieces." The tone she employed could only be described as scolding, but he wasn't able to get a good look at her face as she headed out of the room. "You ought to at least let me try to do the same for you, every once in a while."

###

She didn't move while she waited for the water to boil, blankly staring at the wood grain of the countertop.

There were things she would never get over. Sure, the pain and grief and guilt dulled over time, became more bearable and easier to ignore; but it became also a fixed part of who she was, added another invisible scar.

A mother who had been her best friend yet had taken so much out of her. Friends she had left alone to die a horrible death for nothing. People whose lives she had ended because they were on the opposing side. Because they were in her way. And a difficult decision that inflicted irrevocable damage on the person dearest to her and consequently condemned another, a person that was one-of-a-kind.

Yes, total recovery wasn't always possible; there were some things you could never get over. They either broke you for good, or you learnt to live with them.

Maybe she should at least have suspected it was no different for Levi, and she should have known this was one such thing. Watching her die, basically, and then choosing her over what the soldier in him told him to do, and over a very important person in his life and the commander of the Survey Corps, to boot. A person who had been battered by more guilt than all of them together, and a person Levi had wanted to save almost as much as he had wanted to let him rest.

Pain and grief and guilt all in one shitty package.

She hadn't been aware of how deep that scar ran, because Levi was the strongest person she knew and would ever know.

He had learnt to live with it, of course, as he always did, and quicker than anyone else would have been able to, she dared say.

But this was something he would never, never get over. She knew that now.

And the only thing she could do was help him carry the burden and hold the pain at bay, let him know that there was someone who understood, who would always understand.

Just like he did for her.

AN: I really can't blame her. As we all know, Levi is always so stoic and very much not forthcoming with emotional stuff, especially not with this.