Izuku smiled as he landed on the couch in his living room with a satisfied sigh. Another day of training, more progress cleaning the beach, more time spent with All Might. At this point, he had spent a month with his idol, and he was as great as Izuku had thought he was.
Except for the whole 'I can't really train the son of a yakuza boss, sonny' thing, but eh, no one was perfect, right?
"Another satisfying day, uh?" A voice asked, and his good mood instantly evaporated.
"I still can't hear you." Izuku replied, turning his back to his father. The man sighed and sat down.
"Izuku, me and your mother have been patient, but it's been over a month, and you still refuse to talk to me, it's starting to hurt."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I will pretend my father hiding from me for fourteen years that he is some high-ranking leader of a criminal syndicate didn't sting at all." He replied, turning his back to him further, which was unfortunately hard to do when they were both sitting on the same couch. He would have stood up and left but his legs would have probably told him to go fuck himself if he didn't give them at least a few minutes to rest.
"Is there anything I can do to be forgiven?"
"Turn yourself in?" Izuku asked.
His father just shook his head, "If I did, your mother and you would be in danger. And that would also shoot any chance you have of getting in a Hero school, you know that right?"
Izuku bit his lower lip. It was really selfish of him that the idea of being barred from a Hero Course stung more than the idea of losing his father. Then again, his father did arrange him a marriage with the daughter of a mob boss without even asking.
He had tried to make some research on both the Green Valley Clan and All for One. On the former there were enough information, though the leader was believed to be an American mobster called Isaiah Greenvale – and his father seemed proud of his alias –, Quirk and appearance unknown aside from having green hair. One would think that would be recognizable, but in a world where some people looked like animals, green hair was hardly a rarity, and of course there were a lot of people that would just change their hair color weekly overseas. The Green Valley Clan activities in Japan were handled through various means, but the authorities agreed the leader was in the US at the moment.
Those idiots.
All for One had no information, period. Whoever he was, his name was almost impossible to find online. The few results that would come up didn't really mention anything more than the name having some meaning in the criminal underworld of Japan, but no one investigating had ever figured out if it referred to a person or a group, let alone who or what they were, and most of those investigations had stopped long before they could uncover anything. Izuku was fairly confident now that the answer to the question 'person or group' was 'scary man with a baked potato for a head', but he figured he was supposed to take away the second half of the sentence and just look at the scary man part.
He also had done no progress in the "tell All Might" issue. Kinda frustrating but what was he supposed to do? Izuku had tried twice, and both times he had only gotten to, "So, about the Yakuza…" Before All Might shouted, "Yakuza? Where?!" and went into muscle form. Yeah, he wasn't dealing with that too.
Someone gently touched Izuku's head, stopping his thoughts as he turned to see his mom stroke his cheek fondly with the back of her hand. "Dear, I know this wasn't what you wanted, but your father has finally been honest, isn't that something to be happy about?"
Izuku sighed again, gently grabbing his mother's hand. For some reason, finding out that his mother knew had not been surprising. She wasn't stupid, of course she had to have known. "Mom, why did you marry dad? Not that I don't understand… attraction, but didn't you think he was dangerous?"
Her mother and father looked at each other.
His mom snickered.
His father chuckled.
His mom started to laugh.
His father burst out in the loudest cackle Izuku had ever heard, like a hyena that had just been told the funniest joke in existence.
"Uh, what did I say?" He asked when the two finally calmed down.
"Nothing son." His mom kissed him on the forehead, "You just assumed things the wrong way around."
"I feel like that needs to be addressed?"
"Nah, it doesn't really matter. Let's just say I never feared for you two while I was away." Hisashi answered.
"I feel like I'm missing something really important." Izuku replied. Granted, that was probably because his brain was refusing to acknowledge a certain possibility. Good old thought repression.
"Nothing much." His father replied again, "We are who we are dear. I'm still the same person that bought you your first All Might figure; your mother is the woman that raised you while I was busy at work. Don't misunderstand, we both love you Izuku."
"But you are still going to force me to marry Himiko." His mother made a squeal. Izuku sighed. Again. How many times was that now? "Mom, can you stop getting excited about it?"
"No dear, I won't. I'm so happy you have a girlfriend!"
"But I don't even know if she likes me or if I like her!"
"Dear, does she have breasts of any size?"
"Why does that matter?!" Izuku asked, but his father gave a silent 'yes' at the same time and his mother chuckled. Izuku looked away. How come everyone suddenly knew he liked… wait why was that the important part of the conversation? "I don't even know if I like her as a person!"
"You don't know her at all dear. I'm just saying, if there is physical attraction that's a good point as any to start. Feelings can come over time, but if you aren't attracted at all then this is going to be hopeless."
Izuku leaned back on the couch. That was a valid point. A suspiciously logical one, but he didn't think he could just like someone for their appearance. Then again, who knew. He was just happy he didn't have to consider it for ten more months.
In that moment, Hisashi took out his phone.
Izuku had a bad feeling about that, even worse when the man left the room.
-x-
Mustard was exhausted. Destroyed. Absolutely burnt out.
His idol was a torturer in training, and he was getting tortured. No one in the world did an exercise regimen that was harsher than his. Parkour, sword wielding, knife combat, barehanded combat, cardio, strength training, Stain was an all-rounder that was going to probably drive him to an early grave.
And the worst part was that Himiko was doing better! That was so unfair! He couldn't beat her in knife combat, could barely pull a win now in barehanded, was hopelessly behind in parkour, and they were at fifty/fifty in sword wielding win/loss ratio because, in Stain's words, 'you both suck at it'. Harsh but fair, he assumed, but then again who would use a sword in the 22nd century with a straight face, unless their Quirk literally required it? He was a gas user dammit!
"At least I don't have to handle being the boss' daughter." He commented with a sigh. His new 'father' rarely if ever interacted with him in that capacity, which was fine by him, but All for One was… oddly overbearing with Toga. 'Probably because Tomura is such a train wreck of a son.' He decided. In the past month, while they were busy getting tortured by Stain, the older son of All for One spent his day playing videogames in his room.
And he didn't even share. Rude.
Mustard sighed. This wasn't what he had imagined when he had run from home. For starters, because he thought he would hit big as a villain, and second because he was supposed to dodge Hero School expectations this way.
He burped. Gross, that wasn't like him…
And then black mud emerged from his mouth and absorbed him before spitting him back out in the usual meeting room. "Why can't you just call us like a normal person?!" He asked, gasping loudly and coughing.
"This is faster." All for One argued with a dismissive movement of his hand. "So, Mustard, we have worked out some things that you will do for me."
"We do?!" His attention focused completely again. His first mission as a Villain! And he could skip training! Best day ever.
"You see, I just talked with Hisashi, and we agreed that while it's good to leave this time for you, Himiko and Izuku to train yourself, you two also need to catch up on your school material. After all, we need you to pass the theorical test as well."
"Eh?"
"So starting tomorrow, you are going to be studying at Hisashi Midoriya's house once a week!"
"Eh?!"
"Of course, you are there as Himiko's bodyguard. I expect you to be ready to protect her should this be a trap."
"Eh?!"
"Please express yourself in something more than monosyllabic shouts."
"Eh- I-I mean, why?!"
"Because you need to enter the UA Hero Course, and because befriending Izuku is convenient for both. It's the same reason why I also planned a training exchange. In two days, you and Toga will train with Izuku's trainer and he will train with Stain." All for One widened his arms with a grin on his face, "This experience will build a bond between you three, and it will also allow us to test if Willy's modification can fool someone, since this man apparently works closely with All Might."
"What happens if he isn't fooled?"
"You bravely sacrifice yourself to make Toga escape, go to jail, and probably get sent back to your parents."
'Uh, I don't know why I expected a different answer.' He sighed, "It doesn't really matter if I want to or not, right?"
"Not in the slightest."
"I just wanted to make sure. Is that all?"
"No, actually." The man snapped his finger, and a moment later a Nomu appeared in the room carrying a large box, "This is a gift for you."
Mustard couldn't say he received many gifts. Once a year for his birthday, maybe, but those were usually clothes. So he wasn't particularly excited when he opened the box, but once he looked inside his eyes went wide and he took a step back.
"Is that a gun?!" He shouted pointing at the revolver.
"No, this is a Projectile Launching Multifunctional Support Item."
"Sir, that is clearly a revolver."
"No. A revolver is a weapon I can't give legally to a child. A Projectile Launching Multifunctional Support Item, on the other hand, is something even a child can use legally. It's just lucky that your doting father made you one that can shoot both darts and bullets."
"Darts?" Mustard looked inside. True to All for One's word, the box contained a series of weird dart-like bullets. He carefully picked one up and studied it. It was filled with… "My gas in liquid form?" He asked.
"Indeed! I figured it would do well to ensure you have more than one option, so I asked the Doctor if your gas can be collected and liquefied. And it can! Good for you."
"So, I just shoot people with the darts, and they fall asleep?"
"Well, it will take a few seconds…"
"Cool." He put six darts in the gun and grinned, pointing it around the room, "When can I train?"
"Starting tomorrow, you will drop the sword training in favor of gun training. I talked with Stain and, in his words, 'you already learned everything you need to know that you are absolute shit with a sword'."
'Gee, thanks, master.' He thought, before suddenly turning to All for One, "Uh, I thought you wanted to keep Stain's bond with the League a secret, how will Izuku not find out?"
"Stain says he has a way. I will trust his judgment; he is the one that would lose reputation anyway for working with a criminal." All for One replied.
-x-
Izuku woke up thanking god for Sundays. Of all days of the week, Sunday was the only one where he didn't train with All Might, instead having a set of exercises for himself but mostly time to study. Granted, he was doing a bit more exercises than the agreed-upon amount, but he could do it, right?
Right.
With that in mind, he finished his wake-up push-ups and opened his wardrobe.
The shining eyes surrounded by pitch-black fog stared at him. He stared back at the abyss, which should have been a brave thing to do but really wasn't considering he started to shiver immediately.
And then he screamed. Loudly.
"Izuku, are you ok?!" His father asked, rushing in the room.
"Dad, remember when you said there wasn't a monster in my closet when I was four?"
"Yes?"
"Well, you were full of shit apparently." Izuku pointed out, while his father peered in the wardrobe to see Kurogiri awkwardly stand there, his body completely covered in shadows.
"Good morning, Hisashi Midoriya." He said, with a bow.
"Oh, Kurogiri. What are you doing here?" The man replied with a yawn, suddenly less interested, "Is something the matter?"
"Wait, you know him?!" Izuku asked.
"Of course. He is the guy I asked to sneak in your room and take your size for the dress."
"That wasn't a lie?! No don't answer that, the sentient fog works for you?!" Izuku's question was followed by the annoyingly intrusive thought that 'the sentient fog' probably had some very cool Quirk, but before either could answer said Quirk activated and a face stared through the dark gas.
Tomura looked around for a moment before stepping out. Ignoring them both, he looked further left and right, took in the room filled to the brim with All Might memorabilia, clenched his teeth so strongly Izuku was sure he could hear them squeeze together, and then turned around. "This place sucks." He declared, before walking back through Kurogiri's gate.
Hisashi and Izuku looked at each other. "That was… a thing that happened." Hisashi commented finally.
"Dad, the fog guy!"
"Oh, right. No, Kurogiri works for All for One, but he also does freelance work to get his group some extra money. So I did the obvious thing and hired him for the measuring."
"So now he can just enter my room whenever he wants?!"
"Admittedly not my best plan, but I was in kind of a hurry, and you really needed that suit." Hisashi pointed out. Izuku stared at him like a person would stare at another person that just uttered an incredibly dumb statement. No, there was no place to think about an intelligent metaphor in Izuku's mind, only Kacchan-inspired rage.
"What if they try to kidnap me?!"
"Dear, let me tell you, All for One won't touch you with a ten-feet pole if he can. Now, I'll go make breakfast, I think we are going to have guests soon. Is that why you are here Kurogiri?"
"Yes, sir, it seemed more convenient to not attract attention by using the normal way in."
Right on cue, another teen of about the same age fell through the portal. He had bright blue hair and, when he looked up, Izuku stared into his purple eyes as he helped him back up. His shirt had a gas mask on it, in tandem with the one on his side. "Uuuuh… are you Izuku Midoriya?"
"I…"
"Hi Izuku!" A second, cheery voice said. Now with black hair and gray eyes, it took him a second to recognize Himiko. She also looked somewhat different. She seemed a bit taller, even considering she was wearing heels back at the restaurant, and her face, while not heavily changed, looked just a bit different, even though Izuku couldn't quite pin down what it was exactly. Also, her breasts were a bit- 'Goddammit!' He stopped himself and awkwardly waved.
"He-Hello!"
"Let me ask again, are you Izuku Midoriya?" the other teen asked meanwhile, "Himiko's boyfriend?"
"I… I think so." He nodded, and both him and Himiko looked away. The teen put his hand on his shoulder and shook his head with a pitiful expression on his face.
"I'm so sorry for you."
"Hey!" Himiko shouted, but the other just stared at her. She pouted, looking away after a long moment.
"Alright children, let's calm down." A fourth voice said, and then a new figure entered. Tall, well built, with his head still distinctly resembling a potato, All for One entered the room, and smiled at Izuku, which was in stark contrast with Izuku's terrified expression. "Good morning, Izuku Midoriya. I hope you are having a good day." He said, looking around. Izuku suddenly felt the need to thank his luck that the man didn't have eyes. He had the strangest feeling that the man wouldn't appreciate his precious All Might's merch.
"Uh, good… Morning?"
"It is indeed. I'm sorry for bothering you, but I have decided to accompany Himiko and Masutaro myself for your first study group."
"My first what?"
"Your first study group, young lad." All for One replied, and no, Izuku was not going to make a remark on the man just calling him 'lad', "Your father said you wanted to know more Himiko and suggested this wonderful idea."
"That's… Great!" 'I will murder him!' "I will get ready quickly." 'What the hell dad?!'
"Great. I will go say hi to your parents meanwhile."
"No need, the mother is already here." Masutaro replied, pointing at the door. Izuku watched All for One turn, and then do something else.
Freeze.
This two meter tall man without the upper portion of his face was just staring at the door, clearly frozen in shock. Before he could ask Himiko or Masutaro what was happening, however, the man seemed to get back in control. "Good morning… Inko."
"Good morning Shiggy." She replied with a smile. "And it's miss Midoriya."
"Of course, pardon my rudeness." The man replied.
Did his mom just call All for One 'Shiggy'? Was that a thing? And why was the man not fighting that? Even Izuku felt that was a bit insulting, and he let a friend call him 'Deku', he knew a thing or two about insulting nicknames.
So, once again, what the hell?
"It's nice to see you, Shiggy. How long has it been since the last time?"
"Seventeen years." He replied with a gulp, "During the… incident of Shizuoka."
"Ah, of course. What a fun day that was. What was that guy's name? Machia? How is he doing?" She grinned, and Izuku had never seen his mom grin like that. Smile warmly. Sure. Smile sadly. Absolutely.
Grin with the expression of a cat dissecting the prey? Never in his life.
"He is… fine. On vacation."
"I'm sure we both know that was nothing personal. Do send him my excuses."
"I think he would start screaming if I did that."
"Poor thing." She said, "I…" And then she paused, her eyes wandering from the first time from All for One and locking on Himiko with the precision of a hawk spotting his prey.
With the speed of said prey-spotting hawk, she rushed toward Himiko and hugged her. "Oh dear, it's so good to meet you! Are you Himiko Shigaraki?"
"Y-yes, uhm, hi?" Himiko replied with a pained expression. Did Izuku imagine her bones creaking while the woman hugged her?
"Oh my gosh, this is great. Come with me, you need a good breakfast dear." She physically dragged the girl away, ignoring her whimper for help. Izuku wondered for a brief moment if the right thing as a supposed boyfriend was helping her. He then immediately decided that she would be fine. He sighed. What was his life?
"I think I need a drink." All for One said.
'Me too, buddy. Me too.' Izuku thought feeling a deep connection to the mob boss, and then turned to Masutaro. "Please tell me you are normal like Himiko. I really need a bone here."
"Normal like… Himiko?" He asked.
"Sure. She seems pretty normal to me."
Masutaro snickered. Then he started to laugh. Then the laugh grew stronger. Then the laugh dragged him on the floor, where he started to actually roll, alternating long laughs and cries for his sides being in pain.
Alright, Izuku decided, he was officially the only sane man in the house.
Great.
-x-
Sitting down at the table for breakfast after everyone else left the room and he managed to change was the most surreal experience of Izuku's life. The heir of the Number One Hero, his Yakuza father, a mob boss and their families were sitting at a dinner table. The mob boss in question also looks like he is baked juuuust right.
Of course, Izuku himself was the punchline of whatever joke that was. He sighed. Maybe he should have looked at the bright side.
He had a girlfriend before Kacchan.
No wait, if Kacchan learned about that he was going to explode.
Yep, there were officially no good sides.
"So, uh…" He turned to Himiko, "Nice… Day, right?"
Himiko hummed an agreement, without taking her eyes off from her bread with eggs and ketchup. A lot of ketchup. Almost more ketchup than eggs and bread, really. Izuku supposed that was a matter of personal taste.
"It's so nice to have you all here." Inko said, and Izuku nodded slowly, in a non-committal way. His father finished first to eat. "So, All for One, we should probably go. I am sure we don't want to get in the way of our children's studies."
"Of course." The mob boss stood back up, just a bit too fast to not make it look like he wanted to be anywhere but there.
"Where are you going?" Inko asked.
"Oh, we have a few business arrangements to discuss, so we are going to the office."
"On Sunday, dear?" Inko's tone made it clear she didn't approve, and Hisashi gulped. All for One, on the other hand, took a step back towards the door. Seriously, why was he so scared of mom? She couldn't hurt a fly.
"I will make it up for you, honey." He said, bowing to give her a kiss on the cheek, "It's something important."
She sighed, "Very well. But tonight, we are going out for dinner as a family."
"Of course."
"And Himiko is coming too." She added, with a warm smile toward the girl that completely ignored Izuku choking on the glass of milk he was drinking.
"I don't know, maybe All for One is…"
All for One interrupted him mid-sentence, "She can go. Right Himiko?"
Himiko raised her grey eyes from the dish that she was dissecting – kinda rude, if she didn't like it she could say so– and looked up at him. "I what?"
"Excellent, I'm glad we all agree. Masutaro, remember to be nice. Himiko…" All for One's eyes locked with hers, "Remember to be nice." And with that and a quit nod toward Inko, he rushed outside the house.
"He is always in such a rush." Inko commented.
"Only when you are around honey. You are just so dazzling other men can't look at you for too long." Hisashi replied. Izuku's second hand embarrassment at the compliment was probably easy to feel because Masutaro sent him a sympathetic look. Maybe the boy wasn't that bad after all.
"I'm fairly sure that's not the reason, but thank you honey." She gave him a kiss on the cheek back and he walked out with a grin, following All for One.
The rest of the breakfast continued awkwardly in silence. Masutaro didn't seem inclined to start a conversation, Himiko sometimes looked at him but seemed more interested in eating her fully red breakfast, and Izuku took the first opportunity to help his mom clean the table afterwards, while telling the other two to go wait in his room. They both nodded, and he wondered how this was going.
-x-
"What am I supposed to do?!" Himiko asked, shaking Mustard's shoulders.
"H-how am I supposed to know?! Do I look like I have a long history of relationships?"
"Oh right, good point."
"Hey!"
"It's just so awkward…" She sighed, sitting on Izuku's bed, covered with what Mustard identified as an All Might blanket. Kind of a monothematic room really.
"Come on, it can't be so difficult… You have never had a relation?"
"Yes, but usually it's easy to deal with it."
"Well, why don't you do what you did in those?"
"I can't, dad said I shouldn't stab Izuku without his permission!" She cried out, "That takes away ninety percent of my love life!"
"Ok, yeah, let's not do that." He paused, thinking, then turned around, "Kurogiri!"
"Yes?" The man asked from the closet.
"Wow you really are still there. Uh, I will make you a list of stuff to buy for her. Think you can procure them by tonight?"
"Of course. Send me the list and I shall procure any material Himiko Shigaraki needs."
Mustard took out his phone and quickly typed down everything. "Alright, so that's for the future. For today, here is a quick suggestion or two. First, don't stab people."
"Why does everyone assume that's the first thing I will do?! That comes at least after a few hours…" She pouted, but Mustard ignored her and continued.
"Second, answer when he asks you something. Don't just hum or nod, but actually give an answer."
"What if it's not an interesting answer?"
"It doesn't matter, just don't make it that awkward." He shook his head, "Ugh, why do I have to do this, I never had a girlfriend in my life!"
"Just help me, you seem to know more-" She saw Izuku enter the room and stopped, "Hi Izuku! We were absolutely not discussing you!"
"Uhm… Hi?" He sat down, "Soooo, I guess we will start by figuring out what your level is? I bought the preparatory book for the UA entrance exam, so we can use that."
Mustard gasped. Oh right, they were there to study.
Oh god, he was there to study. And Himiko was too.
This was supposed to be a study date.
He was the third wheel in the study date between a serial killer and a yakuza heir.
'Can I go back to give relationship advice?' He asked himself. Unfortunately, he was categorically sure the answer was no.
(xx)
I don't even know.
Honestly this story is just stupid fun to write. I would have never thought straight man Mustard would be this entertaining.
And do not worry Himiko fans. I know the story has been leaving our dear serial killer a bit in the shadow so far, but we are going all in starting from the next chapter.