I cannot believe I didn't update at all in 2022. That is insane. I hope everyone enjoys!
Dear diary,
I am going to confess to Sawada today.
Michiko wrote for the 75th day in a row. She held her pen in a death grip, hoping the intensity of her willpower would somehow manifest an opportunity for her to confess to Tsuna. It had been almost 3 months since she had decided the only way to get over her crush was to tell him. She knew she would be rejected, in fact she welcomed it. Nothing could possibly cure her better than a heavy dose of reality.
Unfortunately, there was little chance to find alone time with him. They barely spent time together to begin with and after coming back from her grandparents' house, Michiko was held prisoner in the student council room to make up all the missed work. Before she knew it, September was over. The first half of October, the entire class had been so absorbed in preparing for the upcoming athletic festival and midterm exams, she didn't have any time to even think about confessing. And now it was nearing November and the student body was preoccupied with planning for the cultural festival.
At this point, Michiko was far beyond feeling impatience. It was a miracle she hadn't just blurted out a confession the second she could. She wondered how disastrous it would possibly be to turn around in her seat right this minute and tell him that she liked him.
Honestly, does it matter how I confess at this point? I'm not trying to impress him or convince him to give me a chance. Though I doubt the sincerity of my feelings will come across in this scenario. He probably won't even take it seriously…
She sighed, placing her palms against the edge of her desk, pushing her chair back. Michiko walked to the front of the class, cradling a notebook in her arms. She held up a fist to her mouth, clearing her throat to get the class' attention.
"The cultural festival is coming up and we've already voted on performing the play 'The Little Mermaid'. Today we're going to be deciding roles through random lottery. Aside from myself and our scriptwriter, everyone's names will be placed in this box. I'll list the roles on the chalkboard and pick out names in that order. If you are dissatisfied with your role, you can figure it out amongst yourselves. Anyone who doesn't get cast will be helping with costumes and background design. So, if there are no questions, I'll start the drawing."
The drawing passed by smoothly with no complaints. The meeting wrapped up quickly with Michiko discussing tomorrow's plan of action now that everyone had been assigned their role. The class was free to leave, whereas endless paperwork and yet another meeting awaited Michiko in the student council room.
It was exhausting enough having to deal with a platter of my unresolved emotions, but now I was working back-to-back with planning the cultural festival for the class and the whole student body.
She slid the door open, the conversation falling silent and all eyes in the room darting up to look at her. She bowed her head apologetically for interrupting and shuffled to the closest empty chair. Sakamoto stood in front of the whiteboard facing everyone at the table, with an uncapped marker in hand.
"Kobayashi, you're a little late, but let's catch you up. We were discussing potential ideas to increase the number of visitors for the cultural fest. Our numbers have declined over the years, but I think we've found our solution."
He slapped the cap onto the marker, twirling it around so as to use opposite end as a pointer. "A bonfire dance!" he exclaimed, pointing to the whiteboard.
Michiko furrowed her brows. Did she hear that correctly? With the way his eyes were sparkling, there was very little doubt she had. "Does that fall under regulation?"
Fujimoto pushed up her glasses with her index finger, smiling. "Indeed, it does. The last time the school conducted one during a festival was actually five years ago."
Michiko leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. "So how is this supposed to increase our numbers?"
Sakamoto smirked, eagerly anticipating that question. "That's where the student council comes in. We're going to spread the rumor that if you confess the person you like during the bonfire dance, your feelings will be reciprocated."
She stared at the ceiling, letting out a sigh. "And you believe that will work because?"
Fujimoto spoke up, "Students have a fascination when it comes to romance and urban legends. This will at the very least pique their interest. If after spreading the news, they don't respond in the way we imagined, we still have time to come up with another idea."
"Exactly." Sakamoto agreed, nodding his head. "With this we should even attract visitors from outside of our school. So, starting tomorrow, tell everyone you know and get them to tell everyone they know."
Over the course of the next few days, Michiko was buried in work. If she wasn't helping with the class play, she was filing paperwork to approve of activities that clubs, and other classes were partaking in for the festival. Her day consisted of wardrobe and prop checks while her nights consisted of signatures and script revisions. The only highlight of the week was that the student council's plans were successful. In the class, in the halls, and even in the bathrooms, the bonfire dance was all she heard anyone talk about. Male and female students alike were whispering, wondering if they should take the opportunity to confess, or if the person they had a crush on was going to make a move. Honestly, she hadn't expected for it to work out as well as it did.
Michiko closed her eyes and leaned back, stretching her arms up and releasing a yawn. "Seriously Yamamoto, the idea sounded absolutely ridiculous when they first mentioned it. I guess they have a weird sense for what appeals after being on council for 3 years."
The two walked down the empty street, the sun setting behind them. It had been another late day with Michiko coming from her daily student council meeting and Yamamoto coming from baseball practice. Despite the differences in schedule, he was insistent on the two walking home together.
He gave Michiko a quick once over, noting how dark the rings around her eyes were. From the endless yawning to her slumped shoulders, it was apparent how overworked she was. "It worked out for the better though, you have one less thing to worry about now." relief coating his voice.
She covered her mouth, letting out another yawn. "Yeah, maybe I'll finally have time to spare now."
He frowned and tugged on the bag strap around her shoulder, lifting it up. She threw a questioning look in his direction.
"I was just thinking about how unbalanced it is to have only one of my arms carrying a bag all the time. I have to work out both my arms equally, so-" he said in a playful tone.
She snorted. "So, you were going to take my bag to even out the weight?"
"Of course!" he smiled.
Michiko let out a small laugh, sliding the bag off her shoulder and handing it to Yamamoto. "If you're this much of a gentleman to everyone, the bonfire dance is going to be a nightmare for you. You're one of the biggest targets."
He slung the bag up over his left shoulder. "I'll manage. What about you? Are you planning on asking anyone to dance?"
Though she hadn't given it much thought, the first person to come to mind was obviously Tsuna. She shook that thought away quickly.
"No one comes to mind." she lied. "I'll probably have to be on patrol with the student council anyway."
However, Yamamoto's question did force the issue of confessing to the forefront of her brain. Sure, the rumor the student council spread made it questionable for her to ask Tsuna, but she didn't expect him to reciprocate her feelings. It would also be significantly easier to be alone with him while they were dancing too. Confessing during the bonfire dance could be a very viable option. Unfortunately, Tsuna was the type to misconstrue the situation. Understandable given the context. So, once again she would just have to wait for a better opportunity.
Today the class was scheduled to have a dress rehearsal in the auditorium meaning Michiko was racing back and forth between front stage and backstage to double check that costumes and props were in appropriate condition. By the time everything was finally in place and the actors were reciting their lines, she was sitting legs splayed out on the ground in front of the stage, completely drained.
She leaned back on her arms, staring up to see a water bottle dangling in front of her head. She grabbed it by the bottom, lowering it to unscrew the cap. She quickly gulped it down before muttering her thanks at the brown-haired boy who had joined her to sit on the floor.
"You must be exhausted." noted Tsuna.
Michiko ran a hand through her hair, pushing it back. "Very. How was working in props?"
He scratched the back of his neck hesitantly. "Well, I broke a bunch of stuff in the beginning so they reassigned me to painting, but then I spilled a can of paint…."
She snorted. "Did they have you sit in a corner the whole time?"
He averted his eyes. "…Yeah."
She playfully rolled her eyes. "If I knew you had nothing to do, I would've made you do some of my work."
"If that were the case, I don't think the play would still be in one piece." he countered. "You did a really good job though, Kyoko-chan complimented how well written the script was."
Michiko felt her stomach lurch but managed to muster up a smile. "All I did was make some corrections." she said, waving her hand. "No big deal."
He turned his head to face her. "You also assigned everyone into their groups and made a schedule so we would get everything done on time."
"Yeah, it was pretty difficult to get everyone to focus when the bonfire rumor has been all anyone can talk about." she sighed. "Speaking of, are you planning on asking Sasagawa to dance? It'd be a good opportunity for you."
Tsuna's entire face flushed red as he stared intently at the ground. "I don't have the guts to do it. She's also really popular, so I'm sure a lot of other people are going to try to ask her."
Michiko pulled her legs up, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. Releasing a breath, she muttered, "Guess we're both cowards."
Unfortunately, she hadn't realized she had voiced her thoughts aloud nor that Tsuna had heard her perfectly.
He tilted his head to look at her. "Is there someone you want to ask to dance?"
Her heart stopped and her breathing stilled. Calm down Michiko, calm down.
She vehemently shook her head, her denial overly exaggerated. "Not at all."
He stared back at her, a soft smile on his face. "Well, if we both stay cowards, we could always ask each other."
She whipped her head towards him, an obvious blush spreading across her cheeks. Did she hear him correctly?
"W-what" Michiko unintelligently sputtered out.
Tsuna sat cross legged; his eyes fixed on the actors running their lines on the stage. His expression gave away nothing and his voice was steady. "Well, we should still enjoy the event even if we don't dance with the people we have in mind."
Michiko blinked, staring back dumbfoundedly. Oh, of course that was what he meant. Why had she acted as if he meant anything else? She continued to stare silently at him.
"Kobayashi?" he asked quirking a brow.
Before she could respond, a classmate called out to Michiko. "Kobayashi, we need you over here. We're having some problems with the microphones."
She pushed herself up from the ground, glancing over at Tsuna one last time before heading to the small group of students. She was thankful for the sudden distraction and how it gave her an excuse to not answer. She'd be sure to give him a proper response after resolving the technical issue they were having. Michiko just needed a few minutes to articulate a better sentence than "uh yeah sure".
It's honestly embarrassing how quickly I am to cling onto even the smallest bit of hope. I know he likes Sasagawa. I know that. So why do I keep acting as if he sees me as anything other than a friend?
Michiko sighed, heading down the stage's staircase. She may have solved the microphone problem, but there still remained the larger problem that had been looming over her mind for months. Absorbed in her thoughts, she didn't notice her foot had missed a step until she came tumbling down the stairs, her bottom half landing harshly on the ground. She seethed as tears pricked her eyes. A group of her classmates crowded around her, including Tsuna.
"Kobayashi! Are you okay?" Tsuna asked, leaning over to help her up.
She curtly nodded, accepting his outstretched hand. Michiko attempted to lift herself up, hissing out in pain.
Tsuna's brown eyes filled with concern. "We should get you to the nurse's office."
She shook her head, trying to shift her weight off of her swollen ankle in an attempt to stand up. "I'm fine, really."
He furrowed his brows, bending down onto one knee. He reached one arm under her knees and the other around her back, cradling her in his arms before lifting her off the ground. She immediately yelped in surprise.
"S-sawada" she sputtered out. "You don't have to do this, I can walk."
Ignoring her pleas, they headed to the nurse's office. He gently placed her down onto the edge of the bed, kneeling down to undo her shoelace. Michiko could feel the heat in her cheeks as he slid off her shoe and inspected her ankle.
He's doing this because we're friends.
Tsuna let go of her ankle and walked over to the nurse's station to get the first aid kit. Once he found it, he set it down on the floor and kneeled down once again. She watched as he carefully wrapped the bandage around her ankle. His grip was gentle as he held her ankle up, trying his best not to place more pressure on her injury. He squinted, intense concentration on the task. Michiko felt her heart melt at the sight.
It's not special to him, it doesn't mean a thing to him…But it means everything to me.
"Looks like we won't be dance partners after all." she joked, attempting to lighten the mood.
Tsuna deadpanned. "Don't tell me this is what you're worried about when your ankle is sprained."
She furrowed her brows. "I was just kidding. But you know I don't mind this role reversal. After years of taking care of your injuries, it's about time you repaid me."
He smiled. "I do owe you a lot, Kobayashi. I don't know where I'd be without you."
She wrung her hands, pressing her lips together. "That makes two of us" she whispered out. Looking down at him, this seemed like the perfect moment to confess. All she had to do was say three little words and then the burden weighing her heart down would be lifted. Michiko watched as he inspected the bandage around her ankle, ensuring it was secure.
Just three little words.
"Sawada…"
Tsuna's eyes drifted upwards to Michiko's face, widening when he saw tears rolling down her cheeks. He began to panic, "Did I put too much pressure on your ankle? Does it hurt that much?"
"H-huh?" she put a hand up to her cheek, feeling wetness over her face. "N-no it's not... I don't…"
She hiccupped, choking on her sobs. It was supposed to be easy, yet she couldn't bring herself to do it. She simply wiped her cheeks and shook her head. "I-it's fine, j-just give me a minute."
I'm too much of a coward. Watching him treat me preciously, I don't want to ruin everything. I like him too much. I know he'll never feel the same, but is it so wrong to want to cherish these small moments?
On the day of the festival everything ran smoothly. The play was a success, the festival attracted an outstanding number of visitors, and the student council had even given her permission to halt patrol and enjoy the festival. Yet here Michiko was, sitting across the field watching as the boy she liked had his arms wrapped around another girl.
His hand was intertwined in hers, his other hand placed against the small of her back. The two gazing at each other with smiles on their face. The bonfire provided the optimal backlighting, only enhancing the romantic atmosphere. They moved slowly in sync with the rest of the couples as they circled the fire.
She stared down at the ground, looking at her legs, lightly kicking a pebble with her uninjured foot. 'How ironic' she thought, snorting at her condition. There was something so laughable about the fact that their class had performed the little mermaid, only for Michiko to share the same fate as the mermaid. Just like the mermaid, Michiko's legs and voice were useless to her. Just as the mermaid stayed by the prince's side while he was in love with someone else, Michiko had watched Tsuna over the years and not once had his gaze drifted from Kyoko. Just like the little mermaid, no matter what she did she wouldn't be able to capture his heart. However, unlike the fairy tale, Michiko wasn't going to get a happy ending. Her story would end in her heartbreak. She sharply inhaled, trying her best to see through the oncoming tears blurring her vision.
Get it together. You knew this was going to happen. You knew. You only have yourself to blame.
She sniffled, attempting to hold back her tears, but to no avail. Michiko hung her head down, letting the tears fall to the ground. She stiffened upon hearing the bench creak as someone sat by her side. She pushed a hand to her face, hoping to wipe away the tears before they were noticeable. She glanced out of the corner of her eye to see a handkerchief held in front of her face. Michiko accepted the piece of cloth and the outstretched hand shifted to the top of her head.
"Yamamoto." she whispered.
He stroked her head, shifting closer to her side. He whispered to her, "Do you want me to take you home?"
She nodded.
That night, Yamamoto escorted Michiko home on his bike. They rode through the streets, her arms wrapped around his waist with her tears staining the back of his shirt. He had noticed, but kept quiet for which she was grateful. When they approached her house, she slightly bowed her head towards him before heading inside. She managed to drag herself to bed and hoped the exhaustion would help her fall asleep faster. Yet, the pain in her chest made it impossible to do anything other than lay awake.
I feel suffocated. My heart is in physical pain. Almost as someone took a knife to my chest. Does heartbreak always hurt this badly or am I actually having a heart attack? I can't even sleep because of it. If I ever manage to close my eyes, I hope I never open them again. At least then I'd be put out of my misery…
The alarm clock blared through the room, the incessant beeping growing louder every second. Michiko rolled to her side, reaching towards the nightstand to shut it off. She had not slept last night, but the sharp discomfort she felt far outweighed her fatigue. The pain had not subsided in the least.
Should I even bother going to school? Even if I stay at home all I'm going to do is mope around in bed. But I'm so tired. One day couldn't hurt.
She buried herself under the blanket. She shook her head. No, she needed to stop running away. She would have to face the situation eventually, the earlier, the faster she would get over it.
"I'll be okay. I'm going to be okay." she muttered to herself.
Michiko's lips flattened into a thin line as she struggled to hold back the urge to vomit. She managed to drag herself out of bed and get dressed for school. On her walk to school, she had tried her best to avoid thinking, so as to not fall into a downward spiral. Her heart was still heavy, everything hurt, but not focusing on it seemed to make it easier. She thought she could have made it through the day at least. That was until she had run into Tsuna and Kyoko walking towards the classroom from the opposite direction. Seeing the two of them together would have been traumatic enough, but seeing them with their fingers intertwined, her head began to spin.
Both blushed, nervousness and embarrassment evident in their demeanor. Their hands quickly split.
"Morning, Kobayashi." greeted Tsuna.
She could barely hear his voice, a loud ringing filling her ears. She felt sick. Michiko threw a hand over her mouth, dashing to the nearest restroom. She burst into a stall, falling to her knees. Her head hung over the toilet seat and she urged herself to throw up. Nothing came out. She panted, hesitantly lifting a finger to her lips. Her insides felt rotten, she needed to get rid of this feeling. Just as she inserted the finger into her mouth, a knocking on the stall door made her jump.
"Michiko-chan?" called out Kyoko. "Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to help you get to the nurse's office?"
Michiko stared down, the reality of her current state hitting her. She pulled her finger out of her mouth and gulped. She quickly inhaled a breath, getting up from her knees. She opened the stall door, Kyoko's concerned face waiting for her.
"Could you tell the teacher that I'm not feeling well so I'll be in the nurse's office?"
"Of course, but you don't look too good." Kyoko replied frowning. "Let me walk you there at least."
She mustered up her most convincing smile and shook her head. "I don't want you to miss class. I'll be fine, I just haven't had enough sleep lately because of all the cultural festival preparation."
Kyoko gave her another once over before conceding and going back to class. Michiko let out a soft sigh of relief and headed to the nurse's office. She slid into the bed and curled up underneath the covers. She so badly wanted to close her eyes, but the image of Kyoko and Tsuna together kept flashing through her mind.
Absolutely sickening. Repulsive. A disgusting monster who can't even be happy for her friends. Every single part of me is rotten. There must be something wrong with me. How can I feel this way about two people who I care for? It's disgusting how selfish I am…
The exhaustion eventually hit and Michiko had fallen asleep. When she awoke it was lunch time. She didn't want to eat. She didn't want to get up. She felt if she could just lay in this bed forever, a majority of her problems would dissolve away. She lay under the covers, motionless. The sound of the door sliding open caught her attention, and she turned around to see Yamamoto.
"I heard you've been here all day, so I wanted to check on you. I also brought lunch. I wasn't sure if you were going to come out to eat."
"I don't really have an appetite." she mumbled.
He frowned, his eyes scanning over her. Her eyes looked tired and heavy, her skin seemed paler than usual, and her overall demeanor seemed lackluster. On top of that, she made no effort to even sit up, opting to lay in bed under the covers, adding to the appearance of exhaustion. He placed his lunchbox on the table and pulled up a stool next to the bed for him to sit. Yamamoto sat down and leaned forward, placing one hand underneath Michiko's head and the other behind her shoulder, pulling her into a seated position. He grabbed his lunchbox, opened it, and used chopsticks to pick up the food. He held the food up to Michiko's mouth.
She stared down at the item quizzically. He gestured towards it, pushing it closer to her lips.
"Even if you don't want to eat, I'll make sure you do. Now open your mouth." He held the chopsticks steadily, waiting for her to accept the food.
Michiko glanced at the food once more. She then parted her lips wide enough to eat and slowly chewed her food. As she chewed, she watched Yamamoto. Unlike his usual joyous demeanor, his expression was stern. However, as she looked into his eyes, she could see the ever-present warmth in his steadfast gaze. Whenever she found herself in need of comfort, whether she was willing to admit it or not, Yamamoto was always there. She continued staring into his eyes. Her heart filled with anguish and she unconsciously mumbled, "I wish I had fallen for you instead."
His eyes widened slightly upon hearing her words. Michiko put a hand over her mouth, shocked that her thoughts had slipped out. She looked at him, her eye widened, scanning his face. His eyes relaxed and his expression flickered to what appeared to be pain. She furrowed her brows, squinting in an attempt to decipher his emotions, but the expression disappeared as quickly as it had emerged. Yamamoto gave her a small smile, lifting the chopsticks up to feed her. She opened her mouth, taking another bite. Tilting her head, Michiko examined his face, the somber look nowhere to be found.
Why had he looked so hurt though?
Her mind flashed through the memories of her friendship with Yamamoto. Had she disappointed him in some way by saying that? It had been meant as a compliment. After all, he treated her so well. He was always so caring, so dependable, so trustworthy. Even right now, he made her feel loved. She swallowed her food, the realization dawning on her.
All these years? Had he really…?
Tears pooled into Michiko's eyes as she stared at Yamamoto pitifully.
I'm so stupid.
She closed her eyes and let the tears run down her cheeks, biting her lip to stifle the noticed and placed the chopsticks down onto the lunchbox, gently cupping her face. He wiped the tears away with his thumbs, causing her to sob harder.
"I'm so sorry..." she choked out in between tears, incessantly apologizing.
Yamamoto wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against his chest. In a tender voice he comforted her. She shook her head, still crying. He stroked her hair, and softly shushed her. "It'll all be okay."
I'm horrible. And even after all of this, he's comforting me once again. Yamamoto deserves better. He deserves better than me.
Michiko flipped through the journal, skimming the next few entries. After the cultural festival, it seems she didn't have any energy to write anything. A majority of the responses were about a line or two in length and even the content was dull. She listed out the activities she had done in the day and nothing else. There was no mention of her feelings, of Tsuna, or of Yamamoto.
Went to school. Went to student council. Went to class. Studied during break. Back to class. Student council. Studied at home.
No school. Stayed home. Studied.
"God, I hope all of them aren't like this." She mumbled, rapidly turning pages. "Oh!" Her eyes perked up; the next page filled with writing.
Dear diary,
It has been a month since the cultural festival. Sawada and Sasagawa have been dating for a month. I had hoped that my heart would have stopped hurting by now, but it turns out that I like Sawada more than I realized. I've been hiding from everyone this past month by burying myself under work. I don't know how to face any of them. In fact, I'm not quite sure how I ever will. I'm scared. I'm scared that if I see those two together, it'll break me. And I'm scared that if I let myself give into those emotions for even a second, I'll never recover from it. It hurts, I wish I could be happy for them, but all I feel is jealousy and sadness. I wish I were better…
Michiko sighs, putting the pen down and resting her head onto the desk. It was another weekend at home, locked up in her room. She was exhausted. Most days, even getting out of bed was too much of a task for her. She eyed her bed, considering getting up from her seat and getting back under the covers.
'How nice would it be to close my eyes forever.' she mused.
As she looked at her bed, the phone on her desk buzzed, the screen lighting up with a notification.
Yamamoto
Do you have some time to talk?
Yamamoto
I'm outside your house.
She opened the message, unsure how to reply. She began typing and deleted the response, placing her phone back down. As she went to put her head down again, the phone buzzed.
Yamamoto
I can come up or you can come down, it's your choice.
Michiko furrowed her brows. Why did they have to talk? She didn't have anything to say to him. She readied herself to text him back, when a knock on the door interrupted her.
"It's open." she replied.
The doorknob twisted and the door opened, her mother and Yamamoto standing in the hall. She stepped to the side, allowing him to enter the room.
"Takeshi-kun decided to drop by. You two can chat while I bring up the tea." She gave a pleasant smile and close the door, rushing downstairs before Michiko could get a word in.
The stared at each other in silence, before Yamamoto decided to speak. "I didn't mean to barge in. I was waiting for your response and your mom saw me standing outside, so she invited me in. Sorry."
She nodded, the room turning silent once again.
He sighed and walked toward the bed. He seated himself on the edge, next to the chair Michiko was seated in. "We need to talk."
She bit her lip, avoiding his eyes. She brought her head downwards, staring intently at the rug.
"Kobayashi, please." He pleaded. "Please stop avoiding us."
He gently lifted her chin with his hand, urging her to meet his gaze. "We're all worried. You haven't talked to any of us in the past month. I understand that you needed space, but this can't go on. You're completely isolating yourself."
She turned her head away from him, blinking back her tears. He sighed, pressing a hand against his forehead in frustration.
Her voice quivered as she finally spoke, "You think I don't know, Yamamoto? I am so close to breaking down every single day. I want to be able to act normally, to be as close to everyone as I was before, but how am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to move on from Sawada if I have to watch him date someone else?"
Michiko shouted at him with tears streaming down her face. All her pent up frustration finally released. Yamamoto stared at her with a completely straight face. "Date me."
She wiped her tears on her sleeves, her breath shuddering. "W-what?" she stuttered out in confusion.
He leaned forward, his voice firm. "I said, 'date me'."
"But Yamamoto-" She shook her head, clenching her fists tightly in her lap.
He gently placed a hand over her fist, looking up at her. "Didn't you say you wished you had fallen for me instead? I'll make it happen." She expected his gaze to be soft and understanding and yet when she looked into his eyes, she saw confidence.
She blinked, taken aback by his forward behavior. "Do you know what you're asking me right now?"
He smiled, giving her hand a small squeeze. "If you're against it, I'm not going to push you. But I want you to know that I'm serious."
She looked into his eyes, unwavering as always. He was being sincere, but then again Michiko did not know a time when he wasn't. She looked down to the hand on hers and back up to Yamamoto's eyes.
"I don't…" her voice faltered.
Still smiling, he moved his hand away from her. "You don't have to say anything else. I understand."
He looked at the clock on her nightstand. "I should get going. I'll see you tomorrow at school though right?" he said standing up from her bed.
Michiko bit her lip as she watched him readying himself to leave. She quickly grabbed onto his sleeve, lightly tugging it. His eyes drifted downwards onto her hand. Just as he was about to ask her what was wrong, she spoke up.
"Yes."
He tilted his head, furrowing his brows in confusion. She gulped.
"Yes… let's date Yamamoto." she said, her sentence fading out into a soft whisper.
"A-are you sure about this?" he blurted out.
She nodded, fixating her eyes on the ground. "Yes."
I am truly the worst.
This chapter is definitely the longest one thus far. I tried to cram in as much as possible because I wanted to wrap up the flashback era, but next chapter will inevitably have a flashback or two. We will be moving forward though! As seen here, Michiko in this reality has a lot of self loathing, which is a precursor as to why she's such a mess in the future. Unfortunately, the circumstances surrounding the start of her and Yamamoto's relationship were the shittiest. Very fitting for the worst timeline in KHR though lol.
Aside from that, I really do want to finish up this fic. I don't like making false promises bc I am genuinely just so inconsistent, but I would like to update more often. I do hope I'll find the time to, especially bc taking such long gaps in btwn makes it harder to write a linear story imo. I'm so sorry to everyone who has been patiently waiting for an update. Let me know your thoughts! I am always so happy to read reviews. Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, followed, etc.