CHAPTER 153

"Dad"

I inwardly smile at how Gideon turns in his seat and immediately gives Jared his complete attention, he is sitting next to me in the front of the car and Eva is in the back with Jared as we are heading towards the airport to go home.

Gideon has totally embraced fatherhood. He lived such a solitary life and now in such a short amount of time he has gone from completely alone to a family man - a husband and a father and I couldn't be prouder of him. I worry though, because I know he wouldn't think twice about sacrificing himself for his family and I believe he would lay down his own life for Eva and Jared. The reason I believe this is because he risked everything once before. To this day he doesn't know that I know he killed Nathan Barker but I do. I helped Ben Clancy clean that up and make sure nothing ever came back to him and his involvement. Ben had been shocked at what Gideon had done. He told me at the time that it takes a special kind of person to take the life of another and he never considered Gideon to be that sort of person. However, Ben Clancy was totally unaware of what Gideon had endured in his life and while I was always aware that Gideon had a dark side that was the first time I realised just how far he would go for the people he loved.

"Do you know when the Seattle trial will happen?" Jared asks and Gideon sighs, before shaking his head.

"Arash is pushing for it to happen soon. Carrick has succeeded in getting the phone admitted as evidence and we are just waiting to see if the defence want to change their plea now that this evidence is on the table, but as yet no date has been set".

Jared nods, "Dad… when we do go to Seattle, I want to visit Sadie and Lucy… would that be ok?" he asks. "They were nice to me when I talked to them at that big party… I like them and…" he stops and shrugs, and I smile again.

Jared is such a caring boy and all he can see is that they have experienced loss like he has and he wants to help.

Gideon nods, "Of course we will" he says simply.

"I wrote a letter to them… I sent them a card and I wrote to them" Jared says nervously.

I smile again, I know Gideon had called Sadie and offered his condolences when we got the news and Eva has also spoken to Sadie and Lucy a few times but I didn't know Jared had also been in contact with them.

"Dad… do you think I'll hear from Uncle Patrick again?" Jared says suddenly and at that I look at him through the rear-view mirror. I make eye contact with Gideon who looks helplessly at me almost pleading for my input here.

I carry on driving before I clear my throat and look at Jared through the mirror once more. Jared looks up at me, and knowing I now have his attention I return mine back to the road as I speak and I decide to go with honesty.

"I spoke to him when I escorted him out lad" I begin.

"Angus" Gideon warns but I shake my head.

"No lad, he needs to know" I argue.

"What?" Jared asks realising there is more to this than he realises.

"Your uncle… he is mixed up with some really, really bad people… the worst kind of people. I looked into your uncle when he started calling you and I found out he is mixed up in some really bad things. He has a problem with drugs like Phil, and he funds that habit by working for these bad people. That is why he has never been in contact with you all these years and why he willingly stepped back when Gideon came into your life, it wasn't because he didn't care it was because he did. He didn't want to involve you in what he is mixed up in… he wanted to keep you safe" I explain.

Jared is silent for a few minutes before he speaks again, "So why did he show up here today?" he asks.

I sigh, "Because he is desperate for money, but when I spoke to him he realised what he had done was a mistake and he has agreed to stay out of your life and he asked me to protect you from his life… his actual words were 'It's better for him if he just hates me'. I wanted you to know this because I don't want you to think of him in the same way you think about Philip Martin. He has made just as many bad mistakes in his life as Philip Martin has but unlike him he has never wanted you to come to any harm".

Jared lets out a long breath, "Thanks Angus… you know that actually makes a lot of sense because mom was always scared when he showed up looking for money and I always wondered why… so I guess they knew about what he was involved in as well".

The rest of the drive to the airport is in silence, when we arrive at the plane Eva has her arm around Jared and she is quietly talking to him.

"Did you have to do that?" Gideon asks me as we walk towards the plane.

I look up at him, "Yes lad I did. I watched him and I saw he loves that boy. He is no Philip Martin, he loves him and wants what's best for him. His desperation made him come here today but he knows it was the wrong thing to do and he is now trying to make that right. Jared needs to know that; he thinks Patrick is just like Philip and he really isn't".

Gideon looks at Jared and appears to be deep in thought, "Is there any way we could help him?" he asks and I shake my head.

"No, he's in too deep so we still need to maintain distance but I just wanted to give Jared a little peace of mind".

Gideon nods and with that we walk up the steps and into the plane.

oooOOOooo

Meanwhile in Seattle…

(ELLIOT)

I take a deep breath before wiping my feet and checking I don't have any construction site dirt on me before I let myself into the house.

"Only me!" I call. Lucy has given me a key to their home something which means more to me than I can articulate.

"Hi El, we are all in here" Lucy's voice replies.

"Hi how are you today?" I say as I walk into the sitting room and crouch beside my birth mom.

Sadie looks up at me and smiles. The relief I feel at that small gesture is unbelievable, I look at the women surrounding her. My mother is here, as is Mia, Ana and Meg along with Lucy.

Lucy stands up, "Hey El, do you want a drink?" she asks.

I shake my head, "I'm good thanks" I reply.

"Well, I do, does anyone else want one?" Lucy asks.

There are a couple of positive responses but an equal amount of no's. I rise to my feet and follow Lucy out to the kitchen.

"How is she?" I ask once we are alone.

"Today is a good day. She is thinking clearly and she is being logical about it all. But that doesn't mean that tomorrow she won't be blaming herself for everything again" Lucy says as she pours some water into the coffee machine.

I pull my sister into a hug, "And how are you doing?" I ask.

Lucy wraps her arms around me, "I'm fine… honestly El I really am. I don't know if this makes me a heartless bitch but I really feel nothing. Jen and I were never close, dad totally disregarded me as an irrelevance so I am really not affected by their death's its almost like someone you've heard of dies and it's announced, that is how I feel… it's more complicated for mom though. While she is relieved more than anything about dad, Jen is a different story. I mean she gave birth to her and while Jen was as bad as dad towards her… she can't help how she feels about Jen".

I nod, "I just wish she'd talk with Caroline about this, as it would really help her" I say.

Lucy nods, "So do I, I might have another go at trying to persuade her, I think that's why Ana is here… she came straight from work to see her I mean she has been popping in every day since we got the news but since mom has been more… together about it all she has been talking to her and she has been trying to persuade her to speak with Caroline and so has Grace".

I sigh, I am hoping Sadie makes the decision to talk to Caroline, we can't force her to but we can keep advising her that it would help. I return my attention to the main reason I am here. "I have the letter… from David, Welch brought it to me personally" I say as I feel Lucy stiffen in my arms.

"He read it… he has to read everything, that's his job… and when he wished me luck as he gave it to me I knew it was going to be bad… I don't know what to do Luce" I admit.

She pulls away from me, "Is it bad?" she asks and I shrug.

"Yes… but not how you are thinking… quite the opposite actually" I say, I hesitate… "You know how the police have this theory Jen was involved in some way, well it seems they were right… she was torturing him Luce, she was trying to regain her control… she was just as bad as him and from what he says she had lost her fucking mind. She was playing mind games with him… now this could be lies but he wrote it as his suicide note so what would he have to gain from it?" I ask.

"Can I see it?" Lucy asks and I nod. I reach into my pocket and pull out the now crumpled letter and hand it to my sister.

Her hands start to tremble and she hands it back to me, "Can you read it?" she asks.

I glance behind me and I lead her out into the small laundry room so what I am about to say isn't overheard. I open the letter and begin to read.

Dear Sadie and Lucy,

I know I am the last person you ever want to hear from and you have every right to feel that way. I am not looking to cause trouble for you. I just want to say I'm sorry. I am sorry for the way I behaved. It is an apology which is long overdue and by the time you receive this I won't be around to know if you accept it and I know that I don't deserve any consideration, let alone forgiveness from either of you. I am also saying goodbye, you will never have to have the worry that I will reappear in your life ever again.

I am at rock bottom. I know this situation is of my own making and I do not expect anything now I realise what a truly evil bastard I was. I know this because my own daughter is now torturing me the way I tortured you for years. She breaks into my apartment every night and she restrains me while I sleep and then awakens me by beating me with the same belt I used on you. She has also done unspeakable things to me sexually. She has sodomised me repeatedly with sex toys and household items until I bleed all the while telling me that I am to blame for her state of affairs and taunting me that nobody is around to witness and record what she does to me. I fear sleeping now, I know that once I do she will come and the abuse will happen. I swear to you that I am not playing mind games with you, or lying I am speaking the truth because for the first time in my wretched life I am trying to do the right thing. I am writing this because I can't stand what she is doing to me anymore. It also makes me realise just how strong you are to have endured me for years while I have broken after just a few weeks of this abuse. I can't take it anymore and I can only see one way out. I fear that once I am gone she will turn her attention back to you and will try and gain her sick control over both of you once more.

Lucy, I beg you to stay strong and protect your mother the way you always have and I also want to thank you for your bravery at releasing your mother from her nightmare with me. Sadie, I am desperately sorry for everything I did to you and despite the way I behaved please know I did love you in my own way. It was a sick, twisted and depraved love where I saw you as nothing more than my possession, my toy, and something to be kept and the more I abused you I realised that you would leave me so I had to prevent that from happening and it became a vicious cycle which you did not deserve and for that I am truly sorry.

Goodbye

David (Dad)

Lucy stares at me, "Shit" she gasps.

I pull her towards me and hold her.

"What do I do Luce?" I ask helplessly.

"Does anyone else know about this other than that Welch guy?" Lucy says.

I shake my head, "No" I say.

Lucy paces for a few moments, "Jen is dead… dad is dead… it ends here. I can't be totally sure if what he is saying isn't just mind games. His warning for want of a better term isn't necessary because Jen is also no longer around… so mom doesn't need to know this, she isn't strong enough to deal with it at the moment".

She takes the letter from my hand and grabbing a box of matches from the side she sets light to it and throws it in the sink watching it burn.

"We will take this to our graves El… she doesn't need to know this".

I nod and silently we make our way back to the kitchen. The coffee is now done and Lucy finishes loading a tray up with mugs.

"I'll take that" I say as I lift the tray up and walk into the sitting room.

Lucy follows with the coffee pot and places it down.

"Help yourselves" she says.

"I got a lovely letter from Gideon's son" Sadie says to me as she holds out an envelope.

I take it and opening it I see a condolence card and a letter. I smile as I pull them out of the envelope.

The card is a simple one, tasteful. I hesitate at the letter looking at Sadie but she nods.

"Read it, it's lovely" she says.

I swallow hard and after glancing at Lucy I pull out the short note from inside the card.

Dear Sadie and Lucy,

I was sorry to hear the news of your loss. I know that I don't know you very well, because we only met for the first time at dad's joint birthday party with Uncle Elliot and Aunty Ana, but you were very kind to me that day when I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by everyone.

I know nothing I can say will make any difference right now, but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you at this time.

Warmest regards and best wishes

Jared

"That was lovely of him, wasn't it?" Sadie says and I smile.

"Yeah, he's a good boy" I say. I glance at Ana, "Have we heard anything from Chicago? How it went at the sentencing?" I ask.

Ana pulls out her phone and hands it to me.

"Has Eva not text you? She text me with the sentence he got".

I take the offered phone and shrug, "Probably but my phone has been on silent all day because I've been on site" I say as I quickly read the text Eva sent.

I am aware everyone is listening to this and look up, "Philip Martin was being sentenced today for the murder of Jared's mom and all the other stuff he was involved in" I say.

Sadie gasps and lifts her hand to her mouth, "Oh I didn't realise that was today, oh that poor boy" she says.

Ana nods, "I know, he still has to go through the Seattle trial, for his aunt and uncle unless his uncle does the right thing and changes his plea" she says.

Mom looks up at that, "Carrick is of the opinion, that his defence will hold out until the last possible moment. He seems to think that Philip Martin wants to try and regain some kind of control… show Jared who is boss… awful man" she says sadly.

I look at Ana, "Is Christian testifying?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"No, but Jason is along with Geoff Welch and the other security guys he – Geoff sent to help when Jared called Christian that night".

The sound of the doorbell ringing makes everyone pause and look, "I'll go" I say and I make my way out. As I open the door I see Christian standing there with a bunch of flowers.

"Hey bro thanks I didn't know you cared" I say with a grin.

Christian rolls his eyes at me and pushes past without a word. Jason follows him in grinning at me.

"Hey baby" I hear Christian say and as I walk into the room I see him releasing Ana and turning towards Sadie and crouching in front of her.

"These are for you… I remembered you saying you particularly liked these" he says slightly awkwardly.

Sadie beams at him as she accepts the beautiful bouquet. "Thank you Christian, these are beautiful, but you really shouldn't have" she says.

Christian places his hand gently on her shoulder, "Yes I should" he replies simply but firmly.

I grin at my brother; I don't think he has ever got over the sight of Sadie's battered body that day on the plane and then knowing what he went through at the hands of Elena Lincoln… I think he gets it not in quite the same way as how Sadie is feeling about Jen but enough similarities are there for him to want to be involved and try to help. Which also shows just how far he has come, because at one time he wouldn't have given a damn.

"Ready baby?" I hear him say to Ana and she nods.

After Ana and Christian have left and mom has checked Sadie over once more and made sure she is comfortable she announces that she has to go. I smile at mom, she has been amazing this past week she literally dropped everything to help Sadie and along with my amazing wife and also Mia they have been going above and beyond to bring Sadie back to us. As mom says goodbye to Sadie, Sadie reaches for mom's hand and grips it tightly. "Thank you Grace, thank you for everything" she says Mom waves her thanks off with a dismissive flap of her free hand but Sadie shakes her head.

"No it's not nothing, I am so grateful for everything" she says before looking around at us all. "I just want to say thank you to you all… for the way you have all helped me… I have never felt so… safe in my life" she says and I swallow hard at that comment, I look at Lucy and as our eyes meet I know we made the right decision to keep the contents of David's letter to ourselves.