Chapter Sixty-Six: Let Me Love You
"I want to spend the night with you…" Aisla whispered, hoping he understood the hidden meaning behind her words. Please, Katsuki, I want to be complete with you… I'm ready.
He swallowed hard, then gave a shaky nod. "Okay."
Taking that as acceptance, Aisla let her towel fall from her body, leaving her completely exposed before him. His eyes drank her in hungrily from the top of her head all the way down to her white painted toes, lingering on her most private areas. She ignored the butterflies beating their way out of her stomach and let him map out her body with his eyes.
"Y-you—you are—that is, I'm, uh…" He fell over his words as his gaze flicked all over her as if trying to decide where it should stay. He'd seen her naked in the shower, but maybe he hadn't really allowed his eyes to travel fully over her exposed body until just now.
"You and I," she said, taking a step closer and swallowing down her pride and embarrassment, "are going to spend the night together. In whatever way you want."
She took another step, then another, until there was no more space between them. He breathed in slow and deep but didn't release the breath he was holding. His eyes gleamed like a wild fire as they fixed onto hers as though unable to tear them away.
Her lips curled and her lashes fluttered lazily against her cheeks. Her hands came to rest on his torso, which made him twitch and forced the breath out of him in a series of small gasps. She let her hands travel up and down his stomach and chest, feeling the hot, naked skin without reservation. She loved the feel of his bare skin under her hands. She'd felt it a hundred times before when they would lie together in bed, but somehow this felt different. More real.
Katsuki kept a firm grip on the towel around his waist, which she found both endearing and adorable. She loved when he was shy, but she also really liked when he was bold, however rare an occasion that may be.
"You can keep the towel on if you want," she assured him. "And if you lend me some clothes…"
"I don't have any," he choked out in a gasp. "Clothes, that is. There aren't any clean ones. For you. Sorry."
Her grin widened as the true meaning of his words sank in. She hoped she was reading the words correctly. To her, it sounded as if he didn't want her to wear anything. "That's too bad. I guess you can warm me up then." The words slipped past her lips with ease, coming out strong and confident. Inside, she was shaking and afraid. Not of Katsuki himself, but of being rejected for her boldness.
To hide her anxiety, she turned and crawled up onto the bed and lay down against a pillow. She was sure her face was blushing crimson and hoped he couldn't see it clearly in the dimly lit room. She was acting much bolder than she actually felt. She wasn't a very self-assured person by nature, but Katsuki was even less confident than she was. She wanted to make him feel comfortable, to let him know it was okay to feel/do/say whatever he wanted.
You can be yourself with me, Katsuki. Whoever you want to be, I will love wholeheartedly.
Katsuki's expression was indecisive. She thought he was trying to choose between letting go of all reservations now and getting into bed with her, or making a biting remark and kicking her out. With Katsuki, it was impossible to say which option was more likely. She wouldn't blame him if he asked her to leave. If he wasn't ready for this, then she would wait, too. She wanted to be with him badly, but that didn't mean it had to be tonight.
She watched his eyes flicking all over her body, and even through the muted light of the room, she still felt embarrassed. She made an effort not to cover herself up just yet, though. She wanted to be with him, or she at least wanted to try. Maybe they wouldn't go all the way this time, but she'd be more than happy to just lie in his arms or even just in the same bed.
"Katsuki," she whispered, "please come to bed with me."
He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. When he opened them, his cheeks had turned bright red.
"C-Closhures…"
Aisla tilted her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch—"
"CLOSE YOUR DAMN EYES!" he snapped, cheeks burning even brighter now.
Oh. That was what he'd said.
She obeyed at once, then after a few more moments of silence, she heard a zipper being pulled and then some rummaging around.
"Don't you dare look," he warned, and she nodded without opening her eyes. She wasn't sure what was going on, but if he didn't want her to see him, then surely that meant he wasn't planning on just going to sleep. Or maybe he just didn't want her to see him dressing.
She felt the bed dip on one side and pinched her eyes shut even harder to resist the urge to look at him, to see if he still wore the white towel around his waist. She hoped he'd discarded it, but at the same time nerves made her cautious about how to handle things if he had.
"Keep your eyes closed and lift your head up," Katsuki ordered softly. It wasn't really a command, more of a request. But even so, a shiver ran down her spine at his words. She wasn't sure what to make of that reaction.
She did as he asked and then felt something silky press against her eyes. He tied it around her head then gently pushed her back down. Her mouth was parted in surprise and now her eyes couldn't open, though they begged to see what was happening now.
Katsuki's warm breath blew against her ear and made her shiver again. A hand rested against her cheek and she leaned into his touch.
"I love that," she murmured.
"Why?" he asked just as softly.
"Because I love you, Katsuki, and everything you do for me and to me and because of me. You're my hero."
She heard his sharp intake of breath and then felt his face press into her neck and his body curl around hers in the most intimate of embraces. He'd definitely shed the towel, she realized. His whole body was wound around hers and she could feel his hot skin burning against her own.
Her arms went around him and she held him there tightly, reveling in the feeling of having him so close like this. She could stay just like this all night and be happy. With his lips on her neck and his fingers digging lightly into her skin. Her fingers drifted lazily through his hair while her free hand drew circles into the skin of his upper arm. This was the most vulnerable he'd ever been around her. She didn't know if it was due to her confession of love or if it was directly related to the incident at the pool. Was this just his protective side coming out again? Trying desperately to hold onto something he feared was slipping through his fingers?
"Say it again," he breathed against her neck, and just those words made her tremble with pleasure.
"I love you, Katsuki," she repeated with conviction, knowing exactly what he wanted to hear.
He breathed in deeply again and gave a shudder of his own. "Aisla…" he sighed into her skin. "Let me love you…"
"Yes," she answered unhesitantly, wanting anything this boy would give her.
"Thank god," he murmured, then captured her mouth with his, tongue immediately pushing inside.
His body moved so he hovered over hers and his hands roamed her body freely and without restraint, but with fingers light as feathers.
She cupped his face in her hands and let herself get lost in the kiss and the meaning behind it. He hadn't said the words exactly, but he may as well have. Aisla wasn't complaining. For Katsuki, that was his way of screaming his devotion from the rooftop. That, and the way he kissed her with more passion than ever before, sighing into her mouth each time he took a breath.
Aisla moved her hands down his shoulders and over his back, taking full advantage of every second she was permitted to do so. His body hummed in response to her touches, twitching and sighing and rolling of hips…
A soft moan passed between her lips when his hardness pressed against her sex for the first time. She'd never felt him like this before and it was dizzying. It made her heart pound and her skin burn, and something deep down in her core that she couldn't even yet describe—it was a feeling that was foreign to her but not unwelcome.
"Oh, Aisla," Katsuki moaned against her lips as he pressed himself against her a little harder this time.
Aisla felt her eyes roll into the back of her head at the pleasure this brought forth. She never wanted this moment to end, never wanted to lose this closeness with the person she loved. Her fingers gripped his back and her legs wrapped around him to pull him closer. Her hips rolled of their own volition and he growled in response.
"Fuck…" he gasped out.
Oh, how she wished she could see his face…
"Let me see you…" she pleaded, repeating the action. "Please, Katsuki…"
"Aisla…" he groaned almost painfully.
"I love you…" She dug her nails in a little deeper. "I need to see you…"
"No…" the word was a moan, a desperate plea.
"Don't deny me, Katsuki…" she breathed. "Let me in, all the way. Let me see you…"
He breathed heavily against her neck, fingers tangled in her hair and shaking slightly. He was afraid to let her see, to be completely vulnerable before her. He needed this small piece of comfort to make himself feel at ease.
"Okay, love." She kissed his jaw. "I'll keep the blindfold on, but in return…"
"Anything," he agreed before she'd even asked her question.
"Let me feel you, all of you."
He didn't respond with words, instead, he wrapped his arms tighter around her back and sat up abruptly, pulling her into his lap so that she straddled his hips. The sudden movement caused the tip of his hardness to touch her clit. She gritted her teeth against another moan and rested her hands on his shoulders for support.
"I don't know what I'm doing…" he admitted, though his wandering hands didn't seem to share this concern. They were bold and certain, touching the bare skin of her back, sides and rear as if they were claiming her as their own. She certainly wasn't complaining. Every time his calloused thumbs passed over her nipples she let out a hitched breath.
"You're doing great," she panted. "I love it when you touch me."
He shuddered at her words and buried his face in her hair. "What are you doing to me?"
She didn't know how to respond to that, so she did the only thing she could: she kissed him. Their lips met with an urgency she'd only felt a handful of times before, only this time it was mixed with a newfound desperation. It left her breathless and dizzy, and when she reached down to wrap a hand around his erection, he didn't stop her. He let out a primal growl and kissed her harder, tongue demanding dominance in her mouth. She didn't know what she was doing either, but she did her best, squeezing the hard member softly as she pumped her hand along his length. She'd never felt anything like it, but she decided at once that she liked the way it felt in her hands.
She wondered what it would be like to slide her tongue along it, and what kind of reactions he'd give. She pictured it clearly in her mind as she let her thumb brush over the tip, eliciting another deep cry of pleasure from her lover. She liked the way the shaft seemed to expand and pulse in her hand as though she was literally bringing it to life with her touch. She could almost taste the fluid coating the tip, imagined herself licking it off, and then giving him a hard suck.
"Aisla," he groaned, thrusting against her hand as best he could in this position. She squeezed a little harder and pumped faster, in time with his thrusts. His breathing was hard and fast and she wanted to see his expression so badly it almost hurt.
"I…think I might be…Aisla, stop…" Katsuki was trembling as he tried to speak, and even though his words said "stop" his actions spoke differently. He clutched her harder against him and pushed himself into her hand over and over until sticky hot liquid began to flow over her hand. She didn't stop until he reached down and forced her hand from his shaft.
His breathing was still labored, but it was slowing now. Had she done it? She didn't know what it felt like to give someone else an orgasm, but based on his reaction, she was pretty sure that's what just happened.
The blindfold was suddenly pushed down around her neck and red eyes locked on hers, pulling a small surprised gasp from her lungs. The skin on his face shone with perspiration, and his eyes looked at her in wonder and adoration, like he was seeing her for the first time.
"Why did you do that?" he asked breathlessly.
"Because," she answered, "I wanted to touch you. And you feel amazing, Katsuki."
She hoped she'd done a good job but didn't want to add that and ruin the moment.
"You're amazing, Aisla," he told her, reading her mind once again. The sincerity in his words and gaze made tears form in her eyes. "I can't believe you did that," he whispered.
She kissed his lips tenderly, then cupped his face in her clean hand. "I wanted to," she repeated. "Because I love you—all of you."
"Then let me love you now." His words were both a command and an invitation.
Aisla couldn't help the delighted gasp that escaped her when he pushed her back down on the mattress. His lips found her neck once more and his tongue slid across the skin there as his right hand traveled down her stomach with the barest of touches, soft and teasing. His left hand seized hold of her right, interlacing their fingers and pinning it against the pillow next to her head.
She squirmed beneath his touch in anticipation, wondering just how far shy Katsuki would be willing to go. Sometimes he was bold and dominant and she wondered if she'd get a taste of that tonight. She loved his shy side, but his dominant side was sexy. Like that day when he came into her room and pushed her against the wall and invaded her mouth with his tongue. Aisla had nearly fallen apart right then and there. As his hand glided across her skin now, getting lower and lower, she arched her hips up to greet him and silently begged him not to run away as he had that day. Her whole body was quivering with need, and if he didn't do something about it soon she was certain she would combust.
His hand continued its descent until finally it paused on wet folds. Tentatively, he reached out and traced the shape of her sex, teasing her senses and driving her insane. She gripped his back as her eyes rolled inward once more. His finger drew a line up to her clit then circled the bundle of nerves there, earning a surprised cry of pleasure that she had to literally bite off to keep from becoming a scream. Katsuki's teeth clamped down on her jaw as if in answer to her moan and his finger continued its teasing. Finally, one finger dipped inside and sent a wave of ecstasy through her she'd never felt before.
Her hips rolled and bucked against his hand, and he was all too eager to adjust angles when prompted. He was a quick learner, though, and Aisla didn't have to do much of this coaching before she felt the familiar ache in her core she'd only ever experienced on her own a handful of times. She bit her lip to keep the moans at bay as he brought her to completion. She rode the wave as long as it allowed, then gently pushed his hand away.
"Wow…" she said airily.
"Was that…okay?" he asked carefully, eyes flicking back and forth between hers. She wasn't surprised to find that he held the same concerns that she'd felt when pleasuring him, though she thought her moaning responses had said plenty about his performance. That went way beyond anything she'd ever done to herself.
With shaky hands, she reached up to cup his face again. "That was amazing…" she assured him, hoping he could read the sincerity in her eyes.
A small, pleased smile lifted his lips.
"But…" she began slyly, and his smile fell slightly. "I'm not…totally satisfied…"
His eyes widened slowly and his pupils dilated. "You…" he swallowed hard. "Do you want—need—me to…do something…about that?" His blush was evident even in the dim light, and his gaze shifted to the right in embarrassment.
"Yes," she moaned and emphasized this by pulling his hips down with her legs so his shaft was forced against her aching sex. The climax had been incredible, but what she really wanted was Katsuki.
His eyes pinched shut and he ground himself against her a second time as if he couldn't stop the action. "Do…you really want me to, Aisla? I'm afraid…"
"Afraid of what, Katsuki?" she asked softly, thumbs caressing his face.
"I don't want to hurt you…" he murmured, so quietly it could have been mistaken as a thought.
She gently shook him so he would look at her, then gave him a reassuring smile. "Katsuki, you know we don't have to do anything more tonight." Her finger traced the line of his lips—those perfect, delicious lips. She watched them part slightly as she continued. "I was being serious before when I said that all I want from you tonight is to be close to you. Everything else can wait. We have all the time in the world to take that final step."
He squeezed his eyes shut again, and when he spoke his voice was strained. "What if…we don't?"
"What do you mean?"
He opened his eyes, and to her surprise they shone with unshed tears. "I don't know…" he whispered.
She pulled his face in for a tender kiss then let her lips linger there. "I love you, Katsuki. Nothing will ever change that."
"We're about to go back to school…I don't want things to be different than they are right now. I don't want…" He paused and swallowed. "I don't want your feelings to change."
Aisla almost laughed, but not because she thought this was funny. Those were the same things she was concerned about. While she trusted that he wasn't going to push her away again when they returned to UA, there was still a sliver of uncertainty regarding his sudden loving attitude. What if he wanted things to be more private when they went back to school? She couldn't really blame him for being embarrassed in front of all their peers, but a part of her hoped that didn't happen. She loved being held by him with all her girlfriends watching, and the tender kisses they shared whenever they parted ways.
"I'll always love you…" she assured him, kissing him again. "Always…"
"I…have protection…" he whispered against her lips.
"Get it," she commanded huskily.
He gave a shaky nod, then reached over to the bedside table and produced a thin square of foil. He ripped it open and then glanced between it and her as if unsure if this was okay. She offered him another reassuring nod, then watched as he slid the rubber onto his shaft.
"Are you going to make love to me now, Katsuki?" she purred, letting her lashes flutter languidly.
By way of answer, he dropped his mouth onto hers and immediately invaded her tongue with his own. It was a brief battle for dominance, one that she soon lost and submitted to, allowing him to take the lead. His hand was still wrapped around his growing erection, which he guided to her entrance. He pushed up on his knees slightly so he could position himself better, then slowly pushed inside, just a fraction.
He juxtaposed this with the teasing of her nipples, bringing them both to pertness with the pads of his thumbs as he tested her opening. She was more than ready for him, though, and it only took one roll of her hips to encourage him to go deeper. He moved slowly so he wouldn't hurt her, though her desire was so rampant tonight that he could have plunged inside right away and she probably would have been fine. He'd already set her whole body ablaze and she could already feel her walls clenching in anticipation for—
"More…" she moaned aloud without meaning to. She had half a second to feel embarrassed for her slip up before he pushed in deeper and her walls kneaded him in welcome, sucking him in even further and making them both shudder simultaneously.
Taking this as encouragement, Katsuki filled her entirely before pausing so she could get used to the fullness. Her head was thrown back, fingers clenching the sheets so tight she was sure she'd leave holes, mouth open in a silent moan.
Katsuki made a sound of pleasure deep within his throat, which reverberated through her whole body as if it had been her own. Or maybe it had and she couldn't tell their body's reactions apart any longer. She reveled in the vibration either way, unclenching one hand to wrap around his back and pull him closer. She arched her back and, legs tightening on his hips, pulled him in even deeper.
"Fuck…" he breathed, or maybe he only thought the word, she couldn't be sure anymore.
He pulled back after another moment, slow and even, then pushed in harder than the first time, filling her in seconds before repeating the motion. It took only a few times before he was confident enough to keep up a steady rhythm with faster and harder thrusts, causing her to get dizzy from pleasure.
She cried out once and he clamped a hand over her mouth, the hand that smelled like her juices. For some reason, this knowledge only added to the already erotic experience and she moaned against his hand.
"Fuck, Aisla…" and this time she was sure he spoke aloud, the sound coming out in a pained growl. "You can't be loud…"
She tried to apologize but he refused to move his hand from her mouth as he moved his body with hers, the only sounds that of their shared breaths. When he finally released his hold on her mouth she gasped for breath, but she only had half a second to breathe before his mouth sealed over hers once more, causing another involuntary moan that he echoed in response.
Her fingers dug into his back, making the muscles twitch and jump beneath them. His lips moved to her neck and sucked at the skin there until she was sure he'd leave flowering purple bruises, but she was too aroused to even care. When his hands slid under her back in a tight hold and pulled her on top of him in one fluid motion, she didn't even have time to register the new position before he continued his assault on her neck and shoulder.
Her hair, still damp from their shower, hung around them like a veil, but he didn't seem to notice. His hands were still wrapped around her back, nails scratching lightly across her bare skin as she took up her own steady pace. This new position added a new level of pleasure, and when his thumb brushed against her aching clit, she knew she was done for.
"Say it, Katsuki…" she whimpered as her walls tightened around him. "Say. It."
"Aisla…" he growled in response, thumb circling in time with her hips. "I love you, Aisla…"
She felt him tense up and thought he must be close, too. "I love you, Katsuki. I love you so much."
"Fuck…" he groaned, then spewed unintelligible curses that got lost in the sounds of her own cries of pleasure as her climax took over and she could no longer comprehend thought. Katsuki's own pleasure was what broke her—once she felt him tense up and clutch her back almost painfully hard, she couldn't contain herself anymore. The hard clenching of her walls almost hurt as they sucked him in and held him prisoner inside of her, pulsing against him until they were both heaving for breath and Aisla collapsed on top of him in sudden exhaustion.
"I'm sorry," she panted against his chest. "I can't move."
"Don't…have…to," he replied between heavy breaths. His arms were tight around her in an intimate embrace that made her feel both safe and loved. One hand slid into the hair at the base of her neck and tangled there. Now she wasn't sure if her hair was wet from the shower or from sweat, but the strands clung to the sides of her face as she tried to control her breathing. "That was…"
"Amazing," Aisla finished. She finally found her strength, what little there was, and pushed herself up so she hovered over him. "Was that…okay for you, too?" she asked, feeling shy now that the adrenaline had worn off.
His blush was a deep scarlet and he averted his eyes in embarrassment. "I mean…I don't know. I don't have a basis for comparison."
"You're right…" she agreed quietly, only slightly disappointed in the answer.
"Shit, don't be like that," he lightly chided. "You were, you know, pretty great."
Hope filled her expression. "Really? It didn't suck for you?"
"Aisla!" he choked out.
She blinked a few times, then a slow smile made its way onto her lips. "Oops. Sorry, honey. I just meant, you know…was it bad?"
"It definitely wasn't bad," he said seriously, gaze fixed on hers. "You were perfect…" he whispered.
Tears filled her eyes. "Thank you, Katsuki."
He avoided her gaze again, and just like before he held her by the hips and switched their positions once more before gripping the condom's top and easing slowly out of her. She winced, though it didn't exactly hurt, and sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth when he was all the way free.
"Sorry, love…" he breathed, and before she could process his words, he was off the bed and had locked himself in the bathroom. When he finally emerged, clad in a fresh pair of boxers but fortunately for her not wearing a shirt, Aisla beamed happily at him.
"Stop staring like a creep and go change," he muttered, gesturing at the bathroom. "There's a shirt in there you can borrow."
"What about underwear?"
"Does it look like I have any chick underwear?" he deadpanned.
She giggled. "No… but what am I supposed to wear?"
He shrugged and started yanking at the sheets she was still laying in. She knew if she didn't escape them quickly he would pull her right off the bed.
"Okay, okay!" She hastily slipped from the bed, but before making her way into the bathroom, she stole another hug, wrapping her arms around his back and splaying her hands across his bare torso. "Thank you for tonight."
"You're not leaving," he stated firmly.
She laughed breathily. "I never said I was."
"Good."
"Katsuki?"
"Yeah?"
"I love it when you love me…"
She couldn't see his smile, but something told her these words pleased him, from the sharp intake of breath, to the shaky release followed by, "Me, too."
Aisla got cleaned up after that and then was rewarded with a freshly made bed, pulled back at the top as if he'd just ordered turn-down service. He was already laying down with his back to her, but she suspected he wasn't asleep just yet.
She flicked off the bathroom light, which offered the only form of illumination into the room, climbed up onto the bed with him, and pressed herself firmly against his back. His breathing was even, but the slight hitch when she buried her face in his hair and rested her hands on his back told her she was right in her assumption.
"Just this once," he said in warning. "Because you died today."
She had already forgotten about her spill into the pool—it seemed so insignificant now. Who cared about drowning when she'd just had sex with her boyfriend for the first time?
"Okay," she agreed. "Thank you for having me, lover…"
"Shut up and go to sleep or I'll kick you out."
"You can't throw me out, I don't have any panties," she whined.
"NOT MY PROBLEM!"
She grinned into his neck and snuggled closer. This was what she'd needed all along, to be right here with this boy, and to be loved by the one she loved.
This was right.
A/N: Oh my gosh, you guys. I am SO SORRY that I have been late every week lately! I told you all that wouldn't be like that, and I broke my promise :'-( I have had a lot of life changes going on recently, including moving out of my house. It has been really hard for me to find the time and energy to go through these chapters and edit them. I also lost my beta reader, so I have to try and do all of that on my own. It's been hard, guys. So, please forgive me for being late. I also haven't been writing very much. I have three jobs now, so I'm pretty much working all the time. I don't have a lot of time to sit down and write during the week, but I will try to put some time away on the weekends to work on my stories! I still have 90 chapters in total for this story, so I have a lot of backlog, don't worry! But there's so much more I want to do! I am in the middle of an arc right now that I want to finish, and there may be one or two more before this fic reaches completion. So hang in there, friends!
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! It's a different experience writing for virgins rather than experienced lovers, so I always try to take that into account. I think I did a pretty good job! This chapter (and the previous one) was originally going to take place after graduation. I had written it months before it made its way into the story and had to tweak it so it would work as a class trip instead!