Guess who finally managed to find enough time to update this fic? That's right!
Yes, I'm still alive. No, this isn't dead. Yes, I'm planning to see this through to the end no matter how long it takes or where it takes me.
The usual apologies for the longer than usual(?) delay. Planned to have this update up last month but life had other ideas. Don't you hate it when that happens?
Also a very big thank you to everyone who's still out there for their patience. Hopefully this update was worth it.
I hope to get the next chapter done in not as long as it took this one. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.
And yes, I know Owain is technically down south in Valm somewhere, but I'll be rearranging locations and recruitment order since most the kids are found in such nondescript areas that they can be anywhere in Valm. That means that certain kids may show up sooner rather than later and visa versa...
Finally, a big thank you to csihawk for taking the time to proofread. More proofreading means fewer mistakes. And everyone wants that.
Oh, one more thing. Spoiler warning for those who haven't played/are interested in playing the older Fire Emblem games. This chapter has a section that goes into some spoiler territory for some of those games. You have been warned.
Despite his insistence to the contrary, Robin wasn't a man who knew everything. In fact, considering he had about two years' worth of memories, Robin was a man who probably knew a lot less than the average man. Granted, he knew a lot about war, the battlefield, and was better than most in those areas, sure. However, his knowledge of all things non-war was a bit lacking. And that is why Robin tried to expand his horizons wherever and whenever possible. So, although he lacked memories and knowledge of the first twenty or so years of his life, Robin made up for it during the past few years by doing new things, meeting new people, etc.
Of the many things he did to expand his horizons, one of the most effective was reading books. Well, reading and discussing what he read with others. So, naturally Robin's horizons expanded most when he read and discussed the books he read with Sumia at their regular meetings. Their mutual love of reading ensured that they read all sorts of books and shared their thoughts and ideas with each other. Having a buddy with whom to discuss things he didn't understand or offer an alternate viewpoint really helped Robin understand and see what he read from different angles. That, in turn, helped him to grow and learn more about himself. Through their sessions, Robin learned about typical literary devices and archetypes found in books of certain genres, he learned his likes and dislikes, and he learned that having someone with different tastes than him got him to read things he otherwise wouldn't even have considered.
Of course, there were downsides. One of the biggest ones was Sumia's continued enthusiasm about romance novels. For the life of him, Robin couldn't understand it. If Sumia liked certain romance novels, then sure, Robin would ascribe that to her tastes. However, the problem was that Sumia liked all romance novels regardless of quality. During their time together, Robin and Sumia both read many novels together, each of them carrying various degrees of romance and even greater degrees of quality. Now, while Robin quickly understood his tastes about what he liked/didn't like, Sumia seemed to love each and every novel, even the really trash ones. No matter how cliché or cheesy, Sumia read through each one and had this starry-eyed look afterward when she gushed about it at their meetings. Robin found her non-discriminatory taste in romance novels very confusing (although there was also something so very endearing about how enthusiastically she always talked about it).
Robin thought that Cordelia's addition would bring a little quality in their readings. Cordelia struck Robin as the serious type, one who had very discriminating tastes about what she read and would bring the average quality of romance novels that they had up a bit.
Boy, did Robin get that wrong.
If anything, Cordelia seemed to share Sumia's enthusiasm when it came to romance novels. What was worse, she seemed to love trashy romance novels more than Sumia! So in the weeks and months that followed Cordelia's introduction to the club, Robin became depressingly familiar with everything having to do with romance novels.
The addition of other members, permanent or temporary, added yet more variety in what Robin read and opened more avenues for Robin to expand his horizons and consult his fellow literary enthusiasts about things he didn't quite understand. And with their latest reading, Robin was going to have to consult them a lot, because he was confused as hell and had many, many questions.
"Okay, now that everyone's here, I can officially start the meeting," Robin said as he banged his gavel on the table. "Now, as always, I assume that everyone here has done the reading?"
Instead of the usual nods and acknowledgements, there was silence.
Confused, Robin looked around and noticed something strange. There was a certain something in the air today that made everyone…uncomfortable. Sumia, Cordelia and Olivia shifted awkwardly in their seats, avoiding his gaze while Frederick sat there, face impassive as always. Seated next to Frederick was Cherche, completely at ease with a smile on her face, seemingly unaware of the awkward atmosphere.
Looking to his other side, Robin noticed Noire and Lucina, blushing furiously and looking like they wished for the floor to swallow them.
"Uh…guys? Did we all do the reading or what?" Robin asked.
Some mumbling.
"Oh my, I think it's safe to say that the answer is a 'yes' based on all these reactions," Cherche said, amused.
"Thank you, Cherche. Now guys, was that so hard? All I needed from you was a simple confirmation so that we can get our usual discussions going."
"U-um, maybe we should skip that part for today?" Olivia suddenly blurted.
Robin looked at her quizzically. "…Why would we do that?"
"I-I mean, it was a very, uh, graphic novel and maybe not everyone would…uh…"
"Yes!"
Robin looked at Sumia after her sudden outburst.
"I mean, Olivia's right, Robin. The, uh, subject matter of today is…sensitive?"
"…What?"
"A-and there are children present!"
Robin raised a brow. "You too, Cordelia?"
"Yes!" Olivia jumped at the opportunity presented to her. "There are children present here, Robin. A-and I don't think they should be here for such adult themes."
"…You do realize that both Noire and Lucina are adults themselves, right?"
"W-well, yes, but…"
Robin turned to the girls in question.
"Noire, Lucina, do you have any problems with the book or that we're going to be discussing it?"
"Well, the book itself was…um…" Lucina cleared her throat awkwardly.
"I…I don't mind…" Noire mumbled quietly, not meeting Robin's gaze.
"There we go," Robin said in a tone that indicated that he considered the matter settled. "The kids have no problems so we're clear to proceed, yes?"
"B-but…!"
"Olivia? What's wrong?" Chrom looked at his wife, concerned.
"W-w-what?" Olivia jumped at the words. "I-it's nothing! N-nothing at all!"
Chrom raised a brow.
"Guys, what the hell is going on here?" Robin asked, a bit irritated.
"I assume that you aren't used to discussing such mature subject matter, correct?" said Cherche.
"Mature subject matter?" Chrom looked around, confused. "Just what in Naga's name have you been reading here?"
"You mean you haven't done the reading?" Robin facepalmed. "Then again, I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. Why do you even come here if you don't do the reading?"
"Is it wrong for me to take an interest in my wife's hobbies and want to take part in them?"
"If you were really interested, you'd have done the reading along with the rest of us!"
"Robin, I do the reading when I have the time. You of all people know how busy I am."
"Really?" Robin crossed his arms. "You are telling me how busy you are. Me, who takes it upon himself to draft dozens of strategies to keep us all alive, do the rounds around camp, train, and who still finds time to read entire novels and host meetings to discuss them?"
"I…"
Robin looked at his friend pointedly.
"…You got me there."
Robin smirked.
"Let's just say I'm not as dedicated to the literary pursuits as the rest of you, although I am willing to learn," Chrom said before inching closer and wrapping his arm around Olivia. "With my wife, of course."
Olivia buried her increasingly red face in her hands.
"Gross," Robin said in distaste. "Can't you keep that stuff between yourselves in the privacy of your own tent? There are children present! One of them also happens to be yours!"
"Oh, discussing the book is too mature but public displays of affection are where you draw the line?" Cherche teased.
"Why is everyone so embarrassed about this book?" Chrom asked, looking around. "Just what have you been reading?"
"The book we have read and are to discuss was recommended to us by Lady Cherche," Frederick explained. "It was apparently very popular in Valm and we thought it would be interesting to read a foreign book this time."
"Okay. What's it about?"
"69 Shades is a book about a young woman who meets a handsome young nobleman, falls in love and pursues a relationship with him despite all the obstacles and the odds," Cherche said.
"Oh. That doesn't seem so bad. I don't see why—"
"Although their 'relationship' involves a lot more rope, whips, chains, gags and other torture-y devices than the average relationship," Robin added.
"Okay…"
"Oh, and sex. Lots and lots of graphic and explicit sex. Although I can't comment the book had more or less sex than the average relationship, not being in one myself."
That detail and how casually Robin threw it out there caught Chrom completely off-guard.
The others in the room (barring Cherche and Frederick) shifted awkwardly.
"Chrom, you're a man in a loving relationship, right? Want to help us fill the gaps? How often do you and Olivia—"
"Robin, I'm begging you not to finish that question," Chrom said quickly, face reddening.
Sumia, Cherche and Cordelia tried to stifle their laughter.
"I guess you're right. No one would want to hear about how often their parents do it, now would they?" Robin mused.
"No they would not," Lucina mumbled, face bright red.
"Anyway, getting back on track," Robin continued the conversation, seemingly oblivious to (almost) everyone's discomfort, "I have many issues with this book."
"I assume that you would," Cherche said playfully.
"But more than issues, I have questions. Very many questions. I assume we're all ready to discuss and contribute?"
Most of the members in the room looked between each other uncertainly.
"Guys, come one. What's everyone being all fidgety for?"
"Well, you know…" Sumia said slowly, "It's awkward, this discussion."
"How is this any different than the stuff we usually talk about?"
"Well, for one, the things we usually read aren't so…detailed and don't go into so much detail about the physical aspects of a relationship between the two main characters," Cordelia explained.
"Come on, that's the reason you guys are all flustered?"
"Do you mean to tell us that you don't find this just a little awkward?"
"No, why would I? This is all fiction we're talking about. It's not like we're discussing what each of us does in the bedroom. Although, heh, that wouldn't be much of a conversation, or rather, it'll only be a conversation about two people."
"Can we please stop coming back to that?" Chrom groaned.
"Right, sorry. See?" Robin pointed to his friend, "Chrom here has the right to be embarrassed because right now we're talking about his and Olivia's bedroom antics. He's a real person and the subject of our hypothetical discussion, right here, sitting in this room. Of course he'd be embarrassed about being subjected to what I can only describe as crass gossip about him and his wife."
"And yet you're still talking about it…"
"Exactly. But this is different! This is…"
"I have never heard a more awkward conversation in my entire life…" Lucina muttered.
"L-Lucina? Is…is it usually like this?" Noire asked timidly. "I know I've just joined, but were things always like this?"
"I suppose that would depend on what your definition of 'this' would be. If you mean to ask if it's usually this lively, then I would answer that yes, yes it is. After all, Robin is here. And if you haven't noticed already, things tend to get very lively when Robin is around."
Noire nodded. "I may not have been here very long, but I've definitely noticed that. So, if it's this lively, does that mean the books you guys read have always been…?"
"No. The books we've read up to this point have been typical romance novels, with the occasional adventure novel in between."
"Oh." Noire paused. "Have the romance novels been—?"
Lucina shook her head furiously. "Noire, I can assure you that the novels we have read thus far have been all above board, focusing more on the main characters and the emotional aspect of their relationship rather than the, uh, physical one."
"So 69 Shades is the first time you've read something so…graphic?"
Lucina grimaced. "I must sincerely apologize for the fact that this is the first thing you are exposed to when you joined the club. I swear we don't make a habit of reading things like this!"
"It's okay, Lucina, you don't have to apologize," Noire giggled.
"Noire?"
"The book was, well, you know…"
Both girls blushed.
"It was also a bit interesting."
"That's…certainly true."
"And I wanted to join this club so that I could read some less gruesome novels that Mother and Father used to read me. 69 Shades doesn't have anyone dying horribly or blood coming out of anyone's eyes, so I think it's a step in the right direction!"
Lucina smiled. "I'm happy that you're not put off by the reading and that you're enjoying yourself, Noire."
"—think that Robin has a very mature attitude toward this entire situation," Cherche said.
"There are first times for everything, I suppose," Frederick commented.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that, Frederick," Robin said. "So it's settled then, yeah? We're all grownups here and can handle discussing this book without feeling all weird?"
"As long as it doesn't somehow warp back to what we do in our bedrooms," Chrom mumbled.
"Chrom, it can't possibly do that because the rest of us don't do anything in our bedrooms. If it did somehow warp back to that, we could only talk about two people here because they're—"
"Robin! You're doing it again!"
"Hey, it's not my fault! You're the one who brought it up!"
Chrom sighed. "I'm starting to think this was a mistake…"
"Reading the book would've definitely helped," Robin informed helpfully. "But since that's out, I guess you can just listen in and takes notes. Who knows, you may learn something new to try out with the missus."
"Wha—?"
"Eep!"
Chrom looked at this wife, who was doing her best to look down and avoid his gaze. He then looked at Robin, confused.
"Robin, what does Olivia have to do…with…" Chrom then remembered what the book was about.
"And three…two…one…" Robin smiled as he watched his friend's face redden when the implication hit home. "There we go."
"Robin!" Chrom cried, voice an octave higher than usual.
Cherche giggled. "My, my, someone's taking no prisoners today."
Lucina facepalmed. "Dear Naga, please put an end to this…"
"Okay, okay, that was the last one, promise," Robin said. "But moving on to the book itself, I think, of all the questions that I have about this book, one stands out in particular."
"And that one question being…?" Sumia inquired.
"How the hell is this a love story? I mean, you'd think it has the usual trappings, but it goes into really, really, really weird places! And some of the activities described are played to be, what, erotic? Because it seems more like torture to me. In fact, it totally is torture! How is that in any way sexy or a basis for a relationship of any kind?"
"Well—"
"Wait a minute…Cherche, you said this was the highest selling book in Valm?"
"That's what I've heard, yes," Cherche confirmed.
"So…people bought this book, read it, told their friends about it…and those friends were not only not put off by the book's contents, but actively went off themselves to buy a copy?" Robin paused, trying to figure that out. "What the hell is up with that?!"
Cherche shrugged. "I suppose different people have different tastes."
"I can understand different people's tastes. What I can't understand it how or why people would think it's 'romantic' to get whipped and otherwise tortured?"
Chrom looked around in confusion. "Uh, Robin? What in Naga's name are you talking about?"
"What do you mea—oh yeah. Didn't read the book. Right."
"Come on, it can't be as weird as you're describing."
Robin put on a crooked smile. "Do you really want to know?"
"Milord, as your stalwart servant and advisor, I can safely say that no, you do not," Frederick said plainly.
"I can agree with this sentiment," Lucina added.
"Well, I-I mean it's not that bad…"
All eyes turned to Olivia.
"Well, I…I mean…that is to say…!" Olivia stammered before settling on saying, "…Please don't all stare at me…"
Ordinarily, Chrom would've taken note of the odd behavior of his family and steered clear of this whole mess. But one look across to Robin's smug face ignited Chrom's instincts to defy his friend and do exactly the opposite just to spite him.
"I know you tend to exaggerate and blow thing out of proportion, Robin. So that means whatever you're talking up now is not such a big deal."
"Oh, but it is. At least this time."
"I seriously doubt that."
"Want to see for yourself?" Robin asked, daring Chrom to respond.
"Milord…"
"Father…"
"Give me the book," Chrom said defiantly. "I'll get through whatever section you point me to and tell you it's no big deal."
"Heh, you're on. Maybe you'll help answer my questions about this whole thing. And who knows? You may be really into the whole whipping and gagging thing."
"Now I know you're yanking me."
"Oh, there's yanking in here too," Robin said casually as he flipped through the book. "Now where to start you off from…?"
"You're stalling, Robin."
"Just a second! Let's see here…okay, here." Robin handed the book to Chrom. "This should be a fine section to start you off from. It involves our heroine getting things put inside her and attached on her."
"Robin, come on. Just call it 'sex.'"
"Oh there's plenty of that afterwards. Along with the whipping. Or maybe that was before, I forget. There's so much of it that it tends to all snowball into one big mess."
"…What?"
"Just read the damn book. I look forward to your attempts to explain how this can be considered part of a normal relationship."
Chrom rolled his eyes and began reading.
"Anyway, while our dear leader gets acquainted with the week's reading, how about the rest of you?" Robin asked, turning to the others. "Thoughts? Opinions? I'm not the only one totally lost and confused, right? The rest of you are also lost on how all that torture-y stuff is supposed to be erotic? What's depicted in the book isn't really what couples usually do, yeah?"
"It's certainly not something Chrom and I do," Olivia said, pre-empting Robin from putting her on the spot.
"Okay, so there's that. Say, this is a Valmese book, and the bestselling one at that. Does that mean stuff depicted in the book is something Valmese get up to?" Robin asked, turning to Cherche.
"I wouldn't say so, no. Although I do remember overhearing conversations from some of Virion's friends about them engaging in activities that weren't too dissimilar to the ones described in the book…"
"I'm somehow not surprised Virion's friends would get up to things like this. But why? Why would anyone want to willingly engage in such activities?"
Cherche shrugged. "Different people like different things, I suppose. That and maybe a little bit of curiosity."
"But that's just cra—"
"Although I believe that I've read somewhere that it's a great way to relax."
Robin was not the only one who stared at Cherche in confusion.
"Of course, it was also said that was true for people in very high stress careers," Cherche qualified her statement before slyly looking at Robin. "So I suppose you would find doing something like this most beneficial, Robin."
"Wha—? Me? Where did you get that idea?"
"I imagine you have the most stressful job in the world, what with directing our forces during this conflict and all your other responsibilities. And I read that people in high stress environments such as yourself find partaking in such activities a great way to unwind and enjoy parting from their responsibilities."
"Okay, first of all, I don't see how being restrained and beaten would in any way be relaxing. Second—"
"Come now, Robin. Have you never wondered what it would be like to lose control and just surrender to someone else?"
"No."
"Not even a little bit?"
"Cherche, I am always in control and that's the way I like it. To give up control is to surrender to uncertainty, and uncertainty is the one thing I hate as a tactician."
"I see…so you like to always be in control…"
Robin nodded vigorously.
"So then I assume you'll enjoy being on the other side of things."
"…What."
"You know, instead of being the one tied up, you would probably greatly enjoy being the one doing the tying. After all, it keeps the control firmly in your hands."
"Cherche, I'm not the type who considers his idea of 'loosening up' involving tying up, gaging and otherwise whipping the person who I supposedly love and cherish."
"How would you know? You never tried doing such a thing. It could be right up your alley…" Cherche teased playfully.
"Because I'm not some weirdo that takes pleasure in torturing his loved one! Even though I don't really have a loved one to torture, but the point remains! Torture is bad," Robin said matter-of-factly. "Besides, if anyone needs to loosen up there, it's dear old Frederick here."
"That is true…" Cherche then turned to Frederick and smiled mischievously. "So, Sir Frederick, does partaking in such activities as described in the book appeal to you?"
To his credit, Frederick managed to keep his face straight. "Milady, I do not think that—"
Cordelia chuckled. "I'll have to agree with Robin here."
Frederick looked at Cordelia, shocked.
"Don't look at me like that, Frederick. It's no secret around here that you take it upon yourself to tend to many things around camp. I'll wager that your task list exceeds even Robin's. Moreover, you're so uptight and stern all the time."
"I make no excuses for taking my tasks seriously."
"Yeah, but would it kill you to take that stick out of your butt once in a while and relax a little bit?" Robin asked.
Frederick glared.
Cordelia rolled her eyes and grinned. "The point is, Frederick…"
"Can you believe her?" Robin asked as he sat down next to Sumia, "Suggesting I do such things to loosen up and stuff."
"W-well…"
"Oh gods. Sumia, you don't agree with Cherche, do you?"
"No! Well, not really. I mean, I don't know!"
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I mean, neither of us has tried any of the stuff written in the book, so we can't really judge, can we?"
"We can very well judge! Like I said before, the stuff the book describes is basically torture, but it's presented as being a love story. An erotic love story, Sumia."
"Robin, I really don't think 'torture' is the right word to use."
"Oh yeah? Because it seems very apt. All the devices that we've read about in other, more realistic novels that describe torture in its painful, non-erotic way, are present. The rack? Check. The handcuffs? Check. The whip? Check. Things to be inserted where those things should never go? Check! See? All the same instruments are there, only the book somehow goes off and plays these things as somehow being erotic instead of instruments of painful torture."
"Robin, you're forgetting one pretty important detail between this book and the others."
"Do tell."
"In the adventure novels we read, those torture scenes were played out during an interrogation, when the main character was captured by the villain's henchmen."
"And?"
"And in 69 Shades, the two participate in these activities together. They know each other and the environment is controlled, safe, and the whole thing is consensual," Sumia explained. "I think there's a big difference between that and an interrogation by hostile forces."
"But the whole thing is written to be erotic! It can't be right!" Robin insisted. "I mean, with the whips and the chains and the gags? Not to mention the beads and such being inserted into places? Come on."
"Robin, you have no experience in this yourself so how can you judge?"
"And I really hope I don't have to experience this myself. Or meet people who are into this kind of weird stuff."
"I don't know, I think it can work for some people, given the right conditions…" Sumia mumbled.
Robin scoffed. "Sumia, please. Imagine if this stuff was done to you. Actually, let's say you were in love with a person."
"Okay…"
"Now imagine this person."
"Done," Sumia said, a little too quickly.
Robin raised a brow. "That fast?"
"Oh. I-I mean, of course! This is a hypothetical situation, after all, right? And you know me, always into the romance and love stories and such, so of course I'd have my ideal fictional prince up and ready to go at a moment's notice, ha ha ha…"
"Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense."
Sumia sighed in relief.
"Anyway, you have your love interest that you have feelings for and such, right?"
"Right."
"And are you telling me you can see yourself signing a contract that basically controls your life, telling you what you can and can't do, eat, and 'punishments' if you break the rules?"
"…Okay, yes. I'll admit that part is a little weird…"
"Exactly. And that's only the beginning! Now imagine this person, who asked you to sign this contract and who you still like for reasons not explained, then…uh…" Robin took the book and flipped to a random page. "Oh yeah. Spanking. Apparently that's sexy now. Can you imagine getting turned on by your love interest bending you over his knee and spanking you?"
"Not when you put it like that…"
"Exactly! There's no other way to put it! Spanking isn't sexy, Sumia, although it may be the most innocent thing in this damn book. Now, as for…" Robin flipped through a few pages again. "How would you feel if your love interest stripped you down, ordered you to get on your knees, to open your mouth and inserted his—oh wait, that's one of the lesser weird things in the book. Hold on…"
Robin skipped ahead, not seeing how Sumia's face was quickly reddening.
"Okay, there. Forget I said the stuff before. You're telling me that you can see how having your love interest strip you down, tie your hands behind your back, and use a riding crop on you, can be fun and erotic? And I mean using a riding crop, as in hitting you with it, including your most sensitive parts, since, again, you won't be wearing any clothes?"
Sumia took a deep breath. "I-I suppose not…"
"Oh, and here's the best part of it! Or one of, at least. The torture room. Yes, your love interest has a torture room that he takes you to and that's a big honor, for whatever reason. Who knows how many other women were here and saw this room as the last thing they saw when they were alive? But I digress, that kind of storyline would've fit better in one of our mystery detective crime novels. Anyway, imagine the scenario: you're stripped completely naked – because of course you are – and completely tied up. You're completely helpless in the middle of this room, suspended with your hands tied to a rope above your head. And after all of this, he blindfolds you! And not only that, he also stuffs a gag in your mouth! So now you're naked, tied up, can't see or cry out or anything, completely at the mercy of your love interest," Robin paused. "Are you imagining it?"
Sumia, eyes closed and face reddening further, nodded.
"So now the world is dark. You're in this torture room and you don't know what your love interest, who you love and supposedly loves you back, will do. All you know is that you can hear his footsteps circling you, and nothing else. He's probably just leering at your body!"
Sumia's breathing became ragged.
"And then…actually, what happens then?" Robin quickly read over the relevant passage in the book. "Oh yeah. Darkness. And then suddenly, you feel something on your body. You gasp! It's cold and hard. Whatever it is, your love interest drags it along your body. Starting with your chest, down your stomach, around your back and slowly dragging whatever this thing is down along your legs, you feel it all over yourself and you get, excited, apparently, because your nerves are super sensitive since you can't see or whatever."
Sumia whimpered.
"So now that your nerves are all on fire and you're excited and want more and would beg if your mouth wasn't gagged, BAM!"
Sumia's eyes shot open.
"You feel a sharp pain! Why? Because you're all helpless in some torture room and your love interest was dragging a whip across your body all this time and now he's using it to whip you! For pleasure!" Robin shook his head. "And there's more stuff in the book about clamps, balls, and other such instruments, also some very rough sounding sex. Anyway, are you telling me that after imagining that stuff happening to you, you're turned on?"
"O-of course not, Robin! How could anyone feel turned on by being tied up, completely helpless and at the mercy of the man they love most? To be ravished with such raw, animal passion sounds…sounds…" Sumia gulped hard. "Surreal."
"Yeah, surreal is one way to describe it. One of many! To think that so many people actually bought this book…" Robin shook his head disapprovingly. "Hey, why do you think…Sumia?"
"Huh?"
"Are you okay? You look all red…and sweaty."
"I'm perfectly fine! Fine and dandy! Definitely not imagining anything more from what you just described!"
Robin tilted his head and looked at Sumia quizzically.
Meanwhile, on the other end of the table, Chrom's face was getting redder and redder as he read further into the book.
"By Naga, people don't actually do this sort of stuff…do they?"
"It's certainly new, isn't it?"
"That's one way to put it…"
"…Is 'interesting' another way?"
"Olivia, what are you…?"
"Nothing! I'm just saying, you know, that this is something new for the both of us, and, well…" Olivia trailed off, blushing and refusing to look her husband in the eye.
Chrom slowly turned to look at his wife.
"Olivia, you're not saying you're actually interested in this stuff and…want to try it out, are you?"
"What? No!" Olivia shook her head furiously.
Chrom sighed in relief.
"At least, not all of it…" Olivia said meekly.
"Olivia?!"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy with us and how things are!" Olivia said quickly. "It's just, you know, I-I thought it wouldn't hurt for us to try something new…"
"Wha—?! I…" Chrom quickly looked around to make sure everyone else was too busy talking amongst themselves to overhear this private conversation about him and his wife and their intimate relationship. "And this is the first thing that came to your mind?!"
Olivia blushed. "W-well, I-I…I mean, this was the first time I read or even heard about that sort of thing. B-but I'm not talking about that when I say try something new!"
Chrom raised a brow but said nothing, urging his wife to continue.
"Goodness, I don't think I can say it aloud…!"
"You don't have to, dear," Chrom said gently and leaned it. "Just whisper it to me."
Olivia shook her head. "I can't, Chrom. Please, forget I said anything. It was a silly thought that came to me while reading."
"Olivia, you know I can't let it go when there's something bothering you. Please, feel free to tell me. I promise I won't judge you."
"But it's so embarrassing…!"
"No one will hear."
To emphasize his point, Chrom motioned to the rest of the table where Cherche and Cordelia were busy teasing a stoic Frederick, where Robin was busy ranting while Sumia looked to be daydreaming, and to where Lucina and Noire were quietly talking to each other.
"See? This will be just between you and me. So please, tell me what's on your mind."
Olivia nodded, gathered her courage and went for it.
Lucina glanced from where she was pretending to talk to Noire and sighed.
"If anyone told me a year ago that I would not only be reading a very sexually explicit book, but also overhearing my parents talking about their intimate activities and suggesting trying things from said book, I would have called them a raving lunatic. Gods, this is mortifying."
When no reply came, Lucina looked up to see Noire looking very intently at the book in front of her.
"Noire? Are you well? You seem to be thinking very hard about something."
"Oh goodness…"
"Noire?"
"Lucina, remember how when we were little, I told everyone that I was afraid there was some kind of monster in my basement?"
"Yes…"
"And remember that one time we all decided to sneak in and explore it all together even though Mother and Father forbade me from going there?"
Lucina nodded.
"And remember what we saw when we got there?"
"Vaguely. It was very dark down there, although I seem to remember some chains…and perhaps a table? We didn't spend that much time down there, did we? We had to scurry upstairs before your parents discovered us."
"Heh, those were fun times…" Noire smiled nostalgically. "Anyway, from what little we've seen, I remember thinking that my basement matched the description of a dungeon from those horrible stories Mother and Father used to read to me."
"That can't be right. Ylisse never had any prisoners of war nor did we torture anyone. Moreover, we had dedicated prisons for all our criminals. It would make little sense to have a separate torture chamber for your parents, and highly unlikely it would have been approved by Father, Robin, or anyone else. And they would have known of its existence."
"Of course," Noire agreed. "So I never really figured out what all that stuff in our basement was or what it was used for. However…"
"However…?"
"W-well, ever since reading the book, I…" Noire trailed off and blushed.
Lucina raised a brow.
"G-given that we never had any prisoners, I think that our basement was used exclusively by Mother and Father…a-and from what I read, I think that Mother and Father—"
"Noire, I'm begging you not to finish that sentence!" Lucina interrupted quickly, sensing where this conversation was going. "No offense, Noire, but I'd rather not hear what activities your parents got up to in their private time. Gods, it's embarrassing enough to hear my own parents discussing such things…"
Both girls were silent for a while before laughing.
"It's a lot different from what we were expecting, isn't it?" Noire said after she calmed down. "We were all expecting to fight beside our parents for the sake of the future and for it to be a serious and desperate struggle. Instead, here we are talking about what our parents do behind closed doors."
"It certainly isn't as I imagined," Lucina agreed. "Our parents, too. Mother and especially Father seem so much more, I don't know how to put it, active, I suppose? Granted, it helps that Father didn't suffer a life-threatening wound and injuries that stayed with him all his life, but here, in the past, Father is so lively. He fights hard, trains hard, and enjoys himself to the fullest."
Noire nodded. "I've noticed. I know I joined you guys not too long ago, but even I noticed how your father now laughs and gets merry with the others."
"Yes. It's quite heartening, to be honest. To see him so healthy and full of life. I know he had the same spirit in the future, but he could only do so much with his injuries…"
"I feel like he was seeing the healers almost as much as I was…"
"Indeed…" Lucina said somberly. "And Mother spent all her time by his side."
"At least that much hasn't changed…?" Noire ventured, trying to cheer her friend up.
Lucina smiled a bit at that. "Quite so, although it seems she has yet to overcome her shyness. Truly we are blessed to be able to see our parents again…"
"Yeah…"
"Noire?"
"Yes?"
"How are your parents in this time? Forgive me for prying, but I remember your mother being quite menacing when we were young. Is she different here in the past or…?"
"Oh no, please don't worry about me, Lucina!" Noire said quickly. "I know that Mother had her issues, but she's still my mother and I love her. In fact, she's a lot better now than she was in the future."
"Truly?"
Noire nodded and smiled. "For one, she's not obsessed about avenging Father since he's still alive now! And that means she's really much happier."
Lucina looked at her friend dubiously.
"I know you can't tell, but she really is happier!" Noire insisted. "It was only when Father died that Mother became withdrawn and…well, you know. But now that Father is alive, she can be happy instead of brooding and thinking up new and horrible curses!"
"I will defer to your judgement, Noire."
"I really am happy to see my parents again. Mother is more cheerful and Father is just as I remember him, if only a bit younger." Noire smiled nostalgically. "His sunny personality always made me feel better. Me and Mother."
"Your Father does seem to be quite cheerful no matter the circumstances…"
"I missed him. From his constant smile to his weird jokes. It's been so long since he died I was afraid that…well…" Noire shook her head. "It's good to see him again."
"Heh, it's funny, isn't it? Our parents in the past are the same as we remember them, yet they're also different in their own ways."
"Yeah, it's good to know that at least in that sense, some things never change."
"At least for the most part…" Lucina said, glancing past Noire.
Noire followed Lucina's gaze to Robin.
"Do you think it's something we did?"
"I wouldn't know. We tried to interfere with this time as little as possible at first. The instances when I did interfere were to assure some key events did or did not happen. As far as I'm aware, my interventions shouldn't have had any effects on Robin's personality."
"I guess that's true…" Noire paused. "Then do you think Robin was like this before we knew him?"
"Unlikely. Father's tales seemed more in line with the Robin we knew than the Robin now. Besides, even if he was like this before, I can't imagine any situation that causes someone to change personality so radically."
"I wonder what it could be…?" Noire wondered aloud.
"I honestly wouldn't even know where to begin guessing."
"And then there's Morgan."
"Gods…" Lucina sighed. "I feel this is something we should consult Laurent on. If anyone will have an idea of what's going on, it'll be him."
Noire nodded in agreement. "I hope we find him. Him and the others."
"Noire, a few years ago I would have told you that I believed the chances of encountering you and the others were slim to none. However, given our current record, I'm feeling confident that we'll meet the others sooner or later."
"Wow. You sound very optimistic, Lucina," Noire observed.
"Shocking, I know." Lucina smiled. "But given how we've defied the seemingly insurmountable odds, I have faith that we'll find everyone else soon enough."
"Hearing you say that makes me hopeful too!"
"Sometimes hope is all we have, Noire."
Noire looked gratefully at Lucina. She opened her mouth to say something else but was interrupted by Robin talking loudly beside her.
"—hich is why I think that's stupid and not a very healthy or realistic basis for a relationship."
"I didn't know you felt so strongly about this, Robin," Sumia commented.
"Come on, Sumia. If something tries to market itself as something, it might at least pretend that it's that thing. This book markets itself as some sort of erotic romance novel, but it's neither! Like, what's described here isn't romantic or erotic! Not in the slightest!"
"Y-yeah, definitely neither. I sure don't see how anyone would want to…do all the stuff described in the book. I definitely don't find it erotic in any way, ha ha ha…" Sumia laughed nervously.
"Exactly!" Robin shook his head sagely. "You get it, Sumia."
"Ah yes, our resident expert in all things romantic here to give us his expert opinion on what couples do and don't do in their spare time," Cordelia joked, having finished teasing Frederick and turning to her friends.
"Hey, I've read enough romance novels to become an expert in the field, thank you very much," Robin said. "And there's a reason that this stuff wasn't to be found in any of the many books that I've read. Not a one!"
"Really? Not just because the authors wanted to keep their novels family friendly?" Cordelia asked, amused.
"Please." Robin waved dismissively. "Even the more raunchy novels we've read don't go into what 69 Shades did."
Cordelia raised a brow. "You're read raunchy novels?"
"Yeah. Sumia lent me her copy of Ribald Tales of the Faith War."
Surprised, Cordelia turned to her friend.
"I-it wasn't mine!" Sumia exclaimed, embarrassed. "I was holding it for a friend! A-and Robin wasn't supposed to see it. I meant to give him one of the Shanty Pete books but grabbed the wrong one…"
"Of course, Sumia," Cordelia nodded in understanding.
"Although, funnily enough, when I was reading the book, it sometimes felt that I was reading some kind of rip-off version of Stories from Jugdral. If I didn't know better, I'd say that the author of these two books was one and the same and releasing a totally new book with the same plot and characters under different name was his way of getting the book out with more sex and violence without associating it with the original version." Robin paused. "Oh, and amongst all the sex, there was absolutely no mention of the stuff we found in 69 Shades. Okay, there was, but it was actual torture and not written to be hot."
"Robin, how can you possibly be so confident in your views on this? Just because no one has written about this doesn't mean people don't do it."
"Cordelia, please. Can you imagine any couple doing stuff like what we read and finding it even remotely hot?"
Cordelia grinned mischievously. "Well, even though no one has written about it, I'm sure the likes of say, Eliwood and Ninian would—"
"I'm going to have to stop you right there, Cordelia," Robin interrupted. "I know you did not just insinuate that Eliwood and Ninian would get up to such activities in their private time!"
"I don't know…" Cordelia said innocently. "They seem like the type that—"
"They are not the type!" Robin snapped. "Not in the slightest! Theirs is a relationship that is pure and wonderful and innocent and wholesome! The pinnacle of romantic storytelling! The ideal that all couples should aim for! There's no way that they'd get up to—"
"Robin, no. That's not true!" Sumia objected.
"And here we go again…" Cherche chuckled.
"While Eliwood and Ninian's relationship is nice, it's far from ideal," Sumia said.
"For the thousandth time, Sumia, Eliwood and Ninian have all the aspects of the best in romantic storytelling. They meet, they fall in love, they marry, they have a hero kid of their own. Why can't you see that?"
"Because Ninian dies in the end!" Sumia exclaimed. "They don't get their happily ever after! How can that possibly be a good romance?"
"Because it's as much about the journey as it is about the destination," Robin said sagely. "And a straight romance with a happy ending is so overdone. In order to make a truly masterful romance, you need a little tragedy. After all, that famous old saying does say that 'all happy relationships are the same. But every tragic relationship is tragic in its own way.' Well, something along those lines. The point is you need a bit of drama and tragedy to spice it up and make your fictional relationship really meaningful."
Sumia shook her head. "I strongly disagree. I mean, yes, there needs to be a little drama, but no one has to die and, more importantly, the main couple must live happily ever after together! I hate it when I read the Elibe series. Eliwood and Ninian deserve to be happy together!"
"But they were happy, Sumia. Theirs is a journey filled with adventure, drama, tragedy, and love. Ninian even died twice for everyone's sake, although the second death was what sealed the deal on their romance for me."
"Robin, how—"
"Because she knew that she was going to die if she stayed in Elibe but did it anyway because she loved him!"
"Robin, that's—"
"I repeat, Ninian knew she would die but still stayed because she loved Eliwood so much! Sumia, she chose a brief life of happiness with her beloved over a normal life of solitude in her own world! That is the true pinnacle of love and romance right there! It's so…so…" Robin sniffed.
Chrom was watching the argument with increasing confusion. "Robin, are…are you crying?"
"Can you blame me?" Robin took out a handkerchief, wiped his eyes and blew his nose. "Thinking over Eliwood and Ninian's story always makes me teary. Theirs is true love if ever I read about it."
"It would be a lot better if Ninian lived…" Sumia mumbled. "It always makes me so sad reading about them in the epilogue!"
"Ah, therein lies the beauty of the writing. It really develops the characters so you can see how the feelings develop and that really makes you care for them. And at the same time, it strikes just the right balance so that the tragedy really makes you feel for the characters without going over the edge and being overly grim. You root for them and want them to succeed and be happy, but the tragedy is so deliciously painful that it really adds to the overall romance arc."
"It's too painful! Whenever I read about them and think about what Eliwood must have gone through after such a short period with the one he fell in love with…" Sumia shook her head. "They are both good people who deserve happiness together! And after all they've been through, it's just so cruel to rip them apart!"
Chrom looked at the scene in front of him, confused. "…Does anyone want to explain to me what in Naga's name I'm listening to?"
"What you are listening to, my literary illiterate friend, are my firm and detailed beliefs in the aspects that make great romance in fiction!" Robin declared.
"Robin, what in the world are you talking about?" Chrom asked. "I thought you disliked all things romance and such."
"That's still true today, Chrom. However, I have, at various and prolonged periods of my life, been exposed to many, many, many, romance novels of all sorts. And as a result of this exposure, I can safely say that I am an expert in the field."
Chrom raised a brow. "Oh really?"
Robin nodded. "Yep. And as an expert in the field with a vast array of knowledge and wisdom, I have identified all the aspects that make a successful, compelling and believable love story."
Chrom had to fight to keep his face straight. "Is that so?"
"It is. However, my fellow field expert Sumia has somehow come to a conclusion that runs opposite to mine. Which obviously means it's wrong, but I respect my learned colleague too much to dismiss her opinion despite all its wrongness and instead choose to engage in measured conversation with her in hopes of getting her to one day come to the right conclusion."
"And the right conclusion being yours."
"Naturally."
"You know, Robin, for all your talk of respecting Sumia's views, you sure do go out of your way in pointing out that they're the 'wrong' ones," Cordelia remarked.
"Well hey, it's not my fault she came to the wrong conclusion," Robin said defensively. "Everybody knows that a good romance is never straightforward and needs some drama and a degree of tragedy and death to really shine, otherwise it's all stale and boring."
"But there's nothing wrong with a straightforward romance. Living happily ever after is a good thing. Everyone deserves happiness in love!" Sumia protested.
"And this is precisely why we have our little debates, Sumia."
"Arguments? As in, plural? How often does this happen?" Chrom asked.
"It happens often enough when you have two people who have very firm views and entrenched positions," Olivia mused.
"Certainly very interesting to listen when these two go at it," Cherche added.
"And it's fun from my side," Robin said. "I really do enjoy these debates of ours, Sumia. I do hope I'll one day be able to bring you to the correct viewpoint."
"I'm afraid that will be impossible, Robin. I firmly believe in my 'wrong' opinion and don't see myself moving away from it," Sumia said, amused.
"Give me enough time and I'll have you seeing it my way eventually." Robin winked. "I'm very persuasive."
Sumia grinned and rolled her eyes.
"Wait a minute, I think I've missed the memo here," Chrom said. "Since when did Robin change his position from forbidding relationships in camp to being Mr. Romantic Expert?"
"Oh no, my views on that stuff haven't changed a bit. Romantic dalliances within, between and among Shepherds during wartime is still looked down upon, discouraged, and grounds for me firing the crap out of you!" Robin insisted vehemently. "However, even though I still firmly believe in this, that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate a good romance when it's written well."
"Hold up," Cordelia spoke up. 'During wartime'? Since when was that caveat there? I thought you blanket prohibited us from having any romance whatsoever?"
"Initially, yes," Robin conceded. "But the arrival of Lucina and her friends has changed the situation and made it apparent that you people have continued your annoying habit of ignoring me telling you what to do and not do to the future. So with the inevitability of more kids showing up, I am forced to relax my strict rules on fraternization."
"How very gracious of you," Cordelia said dryly.
"However, that does not mean you people can just suddenly start falling in love and making your kids willy-nilly! We still have a war to win and I'm not going to have my best soldiers get distracted or taken out of action because they're too busy making googly eyes at each other! So no falling in love, no mushy emotions, and no making kids until after we finish this campaign!" Robin said, giving Chrom and Olivia a pointed look. "Try to keep it in your pants until then, okay?"
Olivia blushed at the insinuation.
"My, still quite strict, aren't we?" Cherche commented.
"I'm nothing but when it comes to the rules," Robin replied.
"So, wait, if you're enforcing the line during the war, does that mean after it, we're all free to…?" Sumia trailed off.
"Yes, go off, fall in love, make babies and whatever," Robin sighed. "Can't really prevent you from not making your future kids and deny Lucina's friends. That would be pretty terrible. Hell, I might even start my own journey after this campaign."
Everyone looked at Robin curiously.
"To find Morgan's mother," he clarified. "Sure, we have the whole 'prevent Grima's rise and the end of the world' thing, but that's still a ways off and we'll probably need some sort of break between now and then. I figure it's the perfect time to, you know, try to figure out who the hell her mother could be. I'll probably need all the time I can get, considering I have no idea where to begin…"
"You have no idea whatsoever as to her identity?" Lucina inquired.
"None at all," Robin confirmed. "Having a daughter appear wasn't really something I anticipated, you know? Honestly, I think I'd have preferred it happened naturally, with me meeting her mother first and then having our kid show up. As it is now, I've skipped that step entirely and am stuck with a daughter and no clue as to who her mother is, where to find her or even how!"
"Hmm…" Lucina furrowed her brows and thought.
"I guess I have to…get out more? Go to bars and talk to women in hopes of finding whoever her mother is? Gods. Sometimes I wish my life was a story book complete with all the clichés that entails. Then I could just meet her mother when she was being chased by some assassins and I was on my way to Chrom's place for our biweekly spar."
"Yes, but not all romances can be like Eliwood and Ninian's," Cordelia said jokingly.
"Ah, but if mine was even a little bit like theirs, I would die a happy man…"
"Actually, it would be her that would do the dying," Cherche noted. "You would be living a long life after her untimely demise, if you want to keep strictly to that plotline. Do you really want to go down that route and deprive Morgan of a mother for the sake of a good poetic romance?"
"…Okay, maybe I don't want my own romance to be exactly like Eliwood and Ninian's…"
"Robin, I'm sure it'll all work itself out," Olivia said encouragingly. "Sometimes you just have to not think about it before it works itself out."
"Yeah. And if that fails, we'll be there for you," Chrom added. "We'll even play your wingmen when you go out to bars to pick up women."
"Chrom, do you even know how to play the wingman?" Robin asked.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Not to doubt your abilities with the ladies, but your own personal journey through the battlefield of love involved precious little courting."
"Hey, that's not—"
"I mean, you've known Olivia for, what, a few days? At max? And then you skipped a few steps between meeting her and jumped straight to proposing."
"I…" Chrom opened his mouth to protest. "…Okay, I guess you got me there."
Robin sighed. "Thoughts for another time, I guess. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to take a page out of your book and marry whoever she is a few days after meeting her."
"Perhaps, but not everyone can have a fairytale whirlwind marriage like we can," Chrom said as he wrapped his arm around Olivia.
"True, and I suppose yours is made even more special in that it defies all the stereotypes."
"…What?"
"You know."
"I really, really don't."
"Oh yeah, you're not a regular member of our meetings, are you? Let me explain." Robin cleared his throat. "Almost all the stories that we have read here thus far have followed a set formula, namely that the main character – who's usually a prince or royalty of some kind – always ends up with his pegasus knight love interest. It's like, an unwritten rule that almost every author of every book ever seems to follow."
"Okay…" Chrom said slowly. "And that's bad because…?"
"Well, not 'bad' per se, but it really gets boring, you know? I mean, yes, the Hero-King did it first and set a precedent, but after reading the same thing for the hundredth time or so, it gets really boring. Like, if a book has a male main character and introduces a pegasus knight somewhere early on, I can say with almost complete certainty that they will fall in love and end up together at some point. Likewise, if the main character of a book is a pegasus knight, she will almost always pine for, and win the heart of, her princely love interest."
"I don't see anything wrong with that," Cordelia said. "It's a tried and true formula that works. So why change it?"
"Because even though it works, it gets really boring and predictable if every other author does it. I mean, really, there are other, non-pegasus knight women that the main character can fall for. Usually with more interesting personalities."
"But if you really feel that way, why is it that you support the pegasus knight Tana marrying the royal prince Ephraim in Stories from Magvel?" Cherche asked.
"I like Tana and Ephraim for two reasons," Robin said. "One, Tana is cute and Ephraim is a brash and oblivious individual. It's funny seeing her try to court him and him being totally unaware of that fact. And two, I mostly support their marriage because that means Tana's brother Innes ends up marrying Ephraim's sister Eirika, making them brothers-in-law."
Cherche remained silent, waiting for Robin to continue.
"And I see parallels between them and Chrom and that amuses me greatly."
"Hey, wait. What now? What's this all about me?" Chrom inquired.
"See, the relationship between Ephrain and Innes is like your relationship with…"
"You?" Cordelia offered.
"…In a way, but I was thinking more like Vaike."
"Now that you mention it, I do see the parallels…" Cordelia said thoughtfully.
Olivia giggled. "It's quite uncanny."
Chrom looked between the two women in confusion. "Anyone want to fill me in?"
"Ephraim and Innes both spar with each other constantly in an effort to prove which one of them is the best," Robin summed up.
Chrom chuckled. "Wow, that really does sounds like me and Vaike."
"Very uncanny resemblance," Sumia chuckled.
"There are striking similarities," Frederick commented.
"Indeed," Robin nodded. "Only Ephraim and Innes are both a lot more tactically adept than you two."
"Hey, that's—!" Chrom began to object.
"Chrom, you send your fliers right into my archer formations and I can still beat you in under ten turns," Robin said flatly. "And Vaike is Vaike."
"…Fine, I'll give you that one."
Robin smiled smugly. "Anyway, since those two share such striking similarities to Chrom and Vaike, they also remind me of Chrom and Vaike whenever they get into their competitive shenanigans. And when they each marry each other's sister, it makes me laugh."
"I don't see how it's particularly amusing," Chrom said.
"Oh yeah? Imagine that Vaike had a sister."
"Okay…"
"Now imagine you married said sister."
"I don't see what's so bad about—"
"Now imagine also that Vaike married Lissa."
Chrom paled.
"And now, surprise! You're both brothers-in-law!"
"Oh gods. The thought of Vaike marrying Lissa…! Being related to him!" Chrom shivered.
Robin laughed. "Exactly! Gets a laugh out of me every time. And that is why I have no qualms with Tana and Ephraim."
"Gods…" Chrom sighed. "I don't even know what I'd do if Vaike started courting my sister…"
"It's a good thing you don't have to worry about that, dear," Olivia giggled.
"Yeah. She could do worse than Lon'qu. Gods, she could even have gone and married you, Robin!"
"Heh, yeah, that would've been pretty terri—hey!"
It was Chrom's turn to smile smugly.
Robin pouted. "Hmph. As I was saying, it's not like the whole 'prince and pegasus' romance thing is bad, just way overdone. It's no coincidence that some of the best romances in literature that we've read were between the prince and someone who wasn't a pegasus knight."
"Like Eliwood and Ninian?" Cordelia asked playfully.
"Yes! I will maintain it's the best romance in the history of forever until I die!" Robin declared before turning to Chrom and Olivia. "So good on you two for following in their footsteps instead of Chrom marrying some boring old pegasus knight."
Sumia and Cordelia both crossed their arms.
"…Present company excluded, of course," Robin added cheekily.
"Since when are you all suddenly Mr. Romantic Expert? I thought you hated romance in all its forms. I even remember you complaining every novel you read had a romantic subplot regardless of genre and how that irritated you," Chrom said.
"Well, yes. I did say that," Robin conceded. "However, I have expanded my horizons and refined my tastes since then. I now accept that I will run into romantic subplots and, after having read countless of said subplots, I accept that they can be really good and make me feel…things."
"Let me guess: Eliwood and Ninian?"
"Yes! That is how you do a romance right! They had the whole package in their story to make theirs the best, most romantic, deliciously tragic romance of all time! Gods, I can't get over how perfect they are and it is. At first I thought Ninian was your typical mysterious girl the main character ran in and who was mysterious for the sake of being mysterious. But as the story went on, we learned more about her and her backstory and, most importantly, her relationship with the main character Eliwood. Now I'll admit that I was skeptical about the two at first, but as the story went on, I really got invested and was even rooting for them. Her character arc was really developed and I saw and understood why she fell in love with Eliwood. Hell, I was sympathetic! Ninian is such a sweet and gentle soul that I wanted her to be happy and was actually rooting for her to get with Eliwood. Gods, she loved him so much that she – spoilers by the way – was willing to kill her own kind and die just for a few short moments of happiness with him. That is so sweet and tragic and beautiful that it hits me right in the heart every time I think about it…" Robin wiped his eyes with his handkerchief.
"I think it's so cute how you gush over Eliwood and Ninian's relationship," Cherche said playfully.
"Hey, I don't gush, okay?" Robin retorted. "I just get a little emotional, as is the natural reaction to such a wholesome romance."
"He got so emotional the first time we went over the book that he broke down in tears by the end," Cordelia informed helpfully.
"Really?" Chrom perked up at this tidbit of information. Meanwhile, Robin was too stunned to offer a rebuttal, staring aghast at Cordelia.
"It's true," Cherche confirmed.
Robin stared at her with a horrified expression.
"Oh thank you, generous Naga…" Chrom offered a prayer to Naga for this wonderful opportunity. He then turned to his friend and smiled like a cat about to pounce on an unsuspecting bird. "So…"
"Think very carefully before proceeding, Chrom," Robin managed to say through his embarrassment.
"Underneath your grouchy exterior and behind your façade of disliking all things romance, you're just a hopeless romantic, aren't you?"
"Chrom…"
"Tell us, Robin, you didn't write any novels under a pen name, did you?" Chrom was enjoying this way too much.
"…You raised a philanderer," Robin said bluntly.
The smile on Chrom's face vanished. "Really? You're pulling that one on me already?"
"Had it saved up in the vault for just such an occasion. That among others."
"So, what, you just have a list of things you have to use against me at any one time?" Chrom asked incredulously.
Robin pointed to himself. "Master tactician. Have plans within plans. Have to be ready for any occasion." He then pointed to Chrom. "Master tactician's bumbling friend. Bumbling friend who sets himself up for defeat. It's really not a fair fight."
"Oh, you boys and your silly games…" Olivia shook her head, amused.
"Would it kill you two to play nice once in a while?" Cordelia asked.
"I'm not talking to you, traitor," Robin huffed.
"Come now, Robin. Are you upset about me letting out that little detail?"
"Cordelia, you swore you'd never mention it to anyone outside our club. Was this 'not mentioning it to anyone outside our club'?!"
"Well, technically Chrom is part of the club…" Cherche remarked. "It's just he doesn't show up as often as we do."
"You don't get a say in this!" Robin snapped. "You're just as guilty as she is!"
"Robin, please calm down and refrain from accusing anyone of the very serious offense of treason," Frederick said calmly.
"Frederick, why are you even still here? Do you even like reading?"
"I find it a pleasurable enough activity when I have the time to indulge in it. As for your first question, it is because Lady Cherche somehow keeps on convincing me to come along to these meetings."
"I simply think these gatherings would benefit from your sunny disposition," Cherche quipped.
"Milady, I do not know why you insist on my coming along and not one of the many other Shepherds…"
"You're always free to decline…"
Frederick remained silent at that.
"Gods. Frederick, are you taking their side in this?" Robin asked.
"I am doing no such thing."
"Abandoning me to the wolves, Frederick? I would have thought you would help me at least make my case," Cherche said playfully.
"Milady, I—"
"Taking her side as usual…" Robin sighed. "I knew it! Frederick, why don't you ever side with me for a change?"
"Maybe Cherche's side pays more," Chrom quipped.
"Whatever she's paying, I'll pay double."
Frederick sighed heavily. "Robin, I'm not…"
And the room descended into chaos.
"Wow. Things sure are livelier than I remember them…" Noire remarked, watching the scene in front of her. "Everyone is sure combative in this time…"
"At least it's all harmless and in good fun," Lucina said. "Although it is quite different than the stories we've heard about our parents…"
"…Hey, Lucina?"
"Yes?"
"How are things looking? With everyone's parents, I mean."
Lucina looked at Noire questioningly.
"I-I mean, we've found some of the others and Owain's and Brady's parents are already married, so there's no problems there. But that still leaves Laurent, Gerome, Yarne, not to mention Cynthia and Severa. And as far as I know, their parents are all still single. Do you think it'll all turn out okay?"
"I…" Lucina sighed. "I certainly hope so. There are encouraging signs from some and question marks over others."
"What do you mean?"
"The most obvious ones are Gerome's parents. Look."
Noire turned her head and saw Cherche happily talking with Frederick.
"I've been watching them ever since I joined these meetings," Lucina continued. "Here and outside, Lady Cherche usually takes the effort to seek out Sir Frederick. And more his part, Sir Frederick does not reject Lady Cherche's approaches or suggestions, as can be seen by him constantly attending these sessions."
"And you take that as a good sign?"
"A good a sign as any. Sir Frederick seems to spend his free time more often with Lady Cherche than anyone else. Moreover, I would go as far to say that he enjoys her company."
"That sounds good."
"Indeed. I believe that Gerome's parents show the most likely to get engaged."
"How about the others?"
"It's hard to say," Lucina admitted. "Lady Miriel seems always to be by herself or pursing some sort of experiment. I want to say that I've spotted Sir Kellam around her, but I can't be too sure."
"Laurent's father was always hard to spot…"
"Something that remains true in this time, it seems. I've seen Lady Panne and Sir Gregor together on several occasions. Although Lady Panne tries to keep her distance from everyone, Sir Gregor, much like Cherche with Sir Frederick, makes it a habit to seek her out."
"Really? Why?"
"In his own words, to 'be teaching Panne how to be feeling again.'"
"Huh?"
"I don't know either, but Lady Panne seems to have gotten used to Sir Gregor and stopped threatening to claw his face off."
"Oh. That's...good?"
Lucina nodded. "Lady Panne at least seems to talk with Sir Gregor more than anyone else in camp. For longer periods, too. And that's saying something, since she wasn't always very talkative."
"So that just leaves Cynthia and Severa's parents."
"Indeed…" Lucina sighed.
Both girls looked at where Cordelia and Sumia were laughing, probably at Robin's expense, given his sour expression.
"…What do you think?" Noire asked anxiously.
"I can see where Lady Sumia's affections lie clear as day," Lucina replied. "I would guess that she would try to make something happen not long after this war is over, so Cynthia is okay on that front."
"And Severa?"
"That is more complicated…" Lucina frowned. "Lady Cordelia is friendly but I have yet to see any romantic interest from her."
"Do you know what to look for?"
"I…not entirely, no," Lucina admitted. "Truth be told, I don't know how the other parents courted and proposed to each other. I have only Mother's and Father's story to go from, and even that has changed here."
"What do you mean?"
"When I was a child, I remember my parents telling me how they met and gradually fell in love. It was one of my favorite stories and I never tired of hearing it…" Lucina smiled fondly. "From what I remember, it started when Mother was caring for Father's injuries. As you remember, Father was gravely wounded after the Plegian assassination mission in Ylisstol and those injuries stayed with him for the rest of his life."
Noire nodded.
"Anyway, although Aunt Lissa and other healers tended to Father when his injuries flared up, Mother usually tried to help out anywhere she could, which included looking after the sick and wounded in the medical tents. That's how they first met."
"And it went on from there?"
"Yes. Father was constantly in the medical tent due to his injuries or to battle. He and Mother spent many instances together, talking, bonding, getting to know each other. And somewhere along the way, they fell in love."
"Hee hee, I never thought the medical tent would be a place for romance," Noire commented. "So how were things different now?"
"Well for one, Father always refused to tell me how he and Mother met, no matter how many times I asked him. He always found an excuse or delayed telling me."
"Really? Why is that?"
"It took me going to Mother and insisting, but apparently it's just as Robin said."
"Robin?" Noire looked confused. "You mean just now? I thought that was him exaggerating things."
"Apparently not. Mother and Father really did meet, fall in love almost instantly and get married not long afterwards," Lucina said, embarrassed.
"Oh wow."
"I can see why Father was so hesitant. It sounds like madness…"
"I-I think it's sweet. The bond your parents share is so strong they fell in love almost immediately after meeting each other."
"Yes, although it doesn't make for the best meeting story…"
"So given how your parents met is so different, you think the same goes for the others?"
"I can only assume," Lucina sighed. "Even if we knew the circumstances of how the other parents met, it would all be useless in this time. Although I must have faith. If Mother and Father could find themselves so quickly in the past, there's no reason why the same can't be said for the others."
"When you say it like that, it makes me think everything will be okay!"
"I have to believe, Noire. It's the only thing we can do at present. With the war going on, I doubt the others will find enough time for courtship and proposal. My guess is that the remaining Shepherds will get engaged when they have more free time after this war."
"So we won't find the others until after we finish the war, huh?" Noire said, deflated.
"N-not necessarily!" Lucina said quickly. "Brady and Owain are definitely out there somewhere! And who knows, maybe we'll find the others sooner rather than later."
"Without their parents married?"
"It's…possible?" Lucina offered lamely. "Morgan is here without her mother, is she not?"
"I guess so, although it helps that she doesn't remember who her mother is…"
"Everything will be fine, Noire," Lucina assured her friend.
"I…I know. I want to believe. I have to! It's just, with everything going on, I can't help but worry…"
"I know, Noire. I worry too, but we have to believe. The others are definitely out there—all of them. We'll find them, the only question is when."
"Y-yeah. Thanks, Lucina." Noire smiled gratefully.
The two girls hugged.
Meanwhile, Cordelia laughed loudly.
"What? I totally can!" Robin insisted.
"Oh, I'm not saying you can't. But the end result will definitely be something I have to see for myself."
"What's all the commotion over there?" asked Chrom.
"Chrom, answer me this: you think I'm the perfect person to write a book detailing our exploits thus far, right?"
"What, you?" It was Chrom's turn to laugh.
"Hey! I can do it!"
"I'll have to agree with Cordelia on this one, Robin," Chrom said after he calmed down. "I'm not saying you can't, but when I think about what you'll write…"
"It will be a completely factually accurate account of us and our adventures during the campaigns in Plegia and here in Valm. And who better to write it than the man who was right in the thick of things?"
"Oh, I don't know. Someone with less of a flair for the, let's say, dramatic?"
"Please. All novels need some drama! It's what keeps things lively."
"Robin, why don't you enlighten us on what you plan to write if you were to embark on this course," Cherche said.
"Gladly, although you should all be familiar with the tales. I'll just be recounting what we did during the Plegian War…only with a bit more drama. And death. And a few…embellishments here and there."
"So it won't be a 'completely factually accurate account' then," Chrom pointed out.
"Every author is entitled to take some creative liberties with the source material," Robin said dismissively. "I'm just exercising my right as a writer."
Cordelia raised a brow. "So you're a writer now?"
"For the sake of this hypothetical situation, yes."
"Oh, I have to hear this. Okay, Robin, do tell us how you would write our adventures."
"Not many changes. Only Chrom would meet Olivia much earlier. Say, when he was out on patrol and she suddenly ran into him. And she would be chased by bandits!"
"Uh-huh…" Cordelia crossed her arms, amused.
"And she would be carrying a dark secret," Robin continued, "but we won't find out about it until…let's say…oh! The final showdown with Gangrel! Just when Gangrel played his dirty tricks and is about to strike our noble hero Chrom down, Olivia jumps in and reveals her secret!"
"That she's a dragon?"
"Yes! How did you know?!"
"Because that's the plot of the first book in the Elibe series, Robin."
"…Oh."
Olivia giggled. "You sure do like that one, don't you?"
"It had a good plot and stuff!"
"Regardless, you can't go around stealing other people's plots and just substituting your characters with them," Cordelia said.
"Why not? Ribald Tales did it."
"Can…can we please stop mentioning that?" Sumia mumbled.
"Hmph. Fine. How about Chrom meets Olivia, but she has amnesia and doesn't remember who she is. They fall in love and get married like it happened in real life."
"Really? You're keeping that? I thought that'd be the first thing you'd change," Chrom said, surprised.
"I have my reasons," Robin said sagely. "Anyway, you guys fall in love and get married and have Lucina and stuff, blah blah blah. But! It turns out that Olivia's amnesia is actually the work of an evil sorcerer!"
"Wh-what?!" Olivia yelped.
"Yeah, yeah! Let's say that'll be…I don't know, Tharja."
"Huh?!" It was Noire's turn to yelp in surprise.
"Robin, that's preposterous. Tharja has proven herself to be—"
"AND!" Robin continued, cutting Frederick off, "Tharja cast that amnesia hex on Olivia make her forget her previous life where she was married and had children with Henry in Plegia!"
"I…what?" Chrom was just confused.
"And this was all part of Tharja's diabolical plot to mix bloodlines so that she can have access to kids with major holy blood so that they can wield amazing and powerful divine weapons! So…gods, I forget how complicated this blood stuff was. If I remember right, then…"
"This is the plot of the Jugdral series," Cordelia finished.
"Again?" Robin sighed. "Fine, how about—"
"No, the thing you're thinking of saying next is the plot of Stories from Magvel."
Everyone in the room chuckled.
"Can you for once not remember every single blasted detail?" Robin grumbled.
"I could, but that's not what you pay me for," Cordelia said simply, before adding, "And it would be a lot less fun."
"Don't make me deduct your salary. I'll do it!" Robin threatened.
"Come now, Robin, no need to threaten Cordelia for doing her job very well," Cherche teased.
"…I hate you all."
"So our amazing resident author can't write his own book without stealing ideas from others?" Chrom leaned back, looking satisfied. "Color me surprised."
"Blergh. Forget you all and forget an emotionally powerful and riveting plot! I'll just write an action epic where we go around and take out hundreds of soldiers with one swipe of our weapons and with minimal effort. Our campaign in Plegia will just be us facing thousands upon thousands of men and effortlessly slicing through them like butter. The book will have flashy, super over-the-top special moves and all that stuff. I'll call it…Warriors of Ylisse's Dynasty…or something of that nature."
"See, that I'd be interested to read," Chrom chuckled. "I'd be especially willing to see how you write it."
"I'd write it as is. Amazing tactical brilliance on our side and me, front and center, wiping out a hundred men with one spell alone."
"And where do all of us fit in this narrative?" Sumia asked playfully.
"You guys are there too, but you're taking out maybe a few dozen men at a time. Can't have you outshining the main character, now can I?"
"Wait, shouldn't I be the main character in this novel of yours? After all, I am the prince and leader of our little gang," Chrom said.
"…Fine," Robin admitted reluctantly. "You'll be front and center, leading the charge, running around and taking out two hundred soldiers at a time with every swing of your mighty legendary weapon. Happy?"
"Well, it's only naturally that no one outshine the main character, right?" Chrom shot a smug look at Robin.
"You know, I can very easily turn you into a bumbling idiot," Robin warned. "Just one that can fight and swing a sword very well."
"Now now, play nice, you two," Sumia said. "Although writing a book about our adventures does sound like a great idea. I mean, we've already been through one war and are going through another. That's more than most people can say! And I'm pretty sure there are people out there who would be willing to read about our adventures and struggles, especially in Ylisse."
"Thinking of picking up the pen, Sumia?" Cordelia asked her friend.
"W-well, maybe a little…" Sumia admitted, a bit embarrassed. "Not in the near future, of course! But, you know, maybe once this whole thing is over and we have some free time on our hands and have settled down, why not? I think our adventures have enough in them to make a fine novel. And it's probably best to write it ourselves before someone else beats us to the punch and takes some 'creative liberties' with the facts."
"Well if you do decide to give this a go, we will all support you and do our best to help," Cordelia said before smiling mischievously and adding, "I'm also sure that your account will stay truer to the facts, unlike Robin's."
"Again with the unprovoked attacks! Did I do something to you recently?"
Cordelia shrugged. "Nothing much. You just make it easy for me."
"Actually," Lucina intervened before Robin could retort, "I believe that would be a sensible course of action."
Everyone in the room looked Lucina questioningly.
"Giving your accounts of your journey," she clarified. "We grew up hearing stories about your exploits and while they were heroic tales of bravery and courage for the most part, there were some…variations."
"Oh? Like what?" Sumia asked curiously.
"For example, some stories we heard about you, Lady Sumia, included one where you smashed through the enemy lines to rescue Father while he was downed."
"…I did that?"
"Or the time you argued with Father and hit him in the face, breaking his nose."
"But that never happened!"
"I also remember hearing a tale of when you went into a blood frenzy and downed friend and foe alike."
"Oh gods, I sound like a madwoman!" Sumia cried.
"None of us believed those stories, of course!" Lucina said quickly. "However, rumors and tales like those did exist and were circulated in the future."
"So it's more important than ever that we write a book and get our own version of events out there to prevent such slander being spread! So now I have to write a book about our exploits after all is said and done!" Sumia had a determined look in her eyes.
"To be honest, I'm surprised anyone believed that type of thing, let alone spread it," Chrom said. "Sumia is one of the kindest, gentlest people I know."
"Indeed," Frederick agreed. "Seems madness that such a tale can not only be told, but spread."
Cordelia clicked her tongue. "Makes me angry people willingly spread such lies."
"Thanks, you guys…" Sumia blushed, a little embarrassed.
"And thank you for the heads up, Lucina," Robin said. "Guess we really do have to get our own version of events out there and set the record straight! The only ones who will be doing the embellishing are us!"
"Robin, why does anyone need to do any embellishing? Why not just tell the story as it is?" Chrom asked.
"Because that's boring. Besides, there aren't enough words to convey how cool my coat is and how generally awesome I am."
Olivia giggled. "Well at least one of those things is true…"
Just then, the door burst open and Morgan ran in.
"Dad! Dad! Dad!"
"Morgan!?" Robin shot out of his seat at Morgan's alarmed expression. "What's going on? Are we under attack?!"
"What? We are?!"
"That's what I'm asking you!"
"…Why are you asking me that? I wouldn't know!"
"But you came in here all in a rush and excited!"
"Oh, I'm excited, Dad. Excited because they're finally here!"
"…What's finally here?"
"This!" Morgan reached into her pockets and took something out. "Ta-da!"
"Oh gods. How could I forget?!" Robin cried.
"I know! It feels like we've been waiting for this day forever!" Morgan smiled. "Now it's time to choose, Dad. Will you take the deck in my left hand or the one in my right?"
Robin bit his lip as he looked between the items in Morgan's hands.
"Hey, what're you two—?" Sumia began.
"Shhhhh!" Robin waved his hand urgently. "This is a crucial moment and I need all my attention!"
"Clock's ticking, Dad…"
"I know, I know!" Robin hesitated. He then took a deep breath and decided to commit. "I'll tack the left deck. Wait no, the right. The right!"
"Right deck it is, then," Morgan said as she handed Robin his item. "Remember, no take backs, Dad!"
"Yeah, yeah…" Robin grumbled. "Please be something good, please be something good, please be something good…!"
"Ready, Dad?"
Robin closed his eyes and sent one last prayer to Naga.
"…Ready."
Everyone in the room looked on curiously as father and daughter frantically tore into the wrapping of whatever they were holding.
"Yes!" Morgan exclaimed triumphantly. "I am now the proud owner of the Hero-King himself! And five stars!"
"Your first card and you got a five star already?" Robin looked at his daughter enviously. "The first card I see is…Bartre."
Morgan snickered. "That's not a good sign, Dad."
"I-it can improve…!" Robin said desperately. "Please…"
"Only one way to find out."
The others in the room gathered around the two tacticians to see them going over a stack of cards in their hands.
"Let's see…oh wow, a Klein! Useful stuff, even if he is four stars…" Morgan mumbled. "A Subaki…a Seliph…oh, and Abel!"
While Morgan was upbeat, Robin's face fell with every card that he examined.
"Est…Est…Hana…another Bartre! Dear gods…"
"Oh wow!" Morgan exclaimed beside him.
"What? What'd you get now?"
Morgan held up a card. "Read it and weep, Dad!"
"No, not Ninian!"
"I'm afraid so, Dad."
Robin let out a long howl of frustration and despair.
"Guys, what in the world is going on here?" Chrom asked.
"And more importantly, are you okay, Robin?" Sumia added.
"Oh yeah, Dad's fine," Morgan answered nonchalantly. "He's just suffering from card envy and maybe his usual terrible luck."
"A very bad case of card envy…" Robin muttered morosely. "Do you know how long I've been aiming to get Ninian?! Forever, is the answer! And it hurts more since she's been featured on like, eight packs already, and I haven't gotten her yet!"
"Dad has really bad luck when it comes to his haul," Morgan informed helpfully.
"Bad luck? Haul?"
"Oh right. Explanations. Dad, you wanna handle this?"
"What do you mean I'm getting another Raigh?!"
"Wow, is your haul that bad?"
Robin kept looking through his cards. "…Yes."
"Ouch," Morgan winced before addressing the others. "Anyway, while Dad here gets over his crippling depression brought on by both a terrible draw on his part and an amazing draw by mine, allow me to fill you all in on what it is we're all on about. You guys know the Stories From series, right? Well, some enterprising…someone out there decided it would be really cool if they took the characters and stuff from that series and made it into a game! So here we are with the Heroes of Legend card game."
Cordelia blinked. "A…card game?"
"Yep!" Morgan nodded enthusiastically and showed everyone her cards. "See? This top one, for example, is Ninian from the first book of Elibe series."
"Wow, she's so pretty…" Sumia said.
"I know, right? The creators of the cards got different artists to do their own interpretation of the characters! Some of them are really good, like Ninian here. Others are…less so."
"You mean they hired some amateur artists for some characters?" Cordelia inquired.
"I don't know about that, but…well…" Morgan sifted through her cards "Look what one artist thought Eliwood looks like."
"Oh wow. Um…at least they got his likeness down…?"
"The style is most certainly…unique," Frederick commented.
"I thought Eliwood would look a lot more handsome…" Olivia said.
"So did I," Sumia agreed. "And I most certainly didn't think his eyes would be so big…"
"I'm not a very imaginative person, but I definitely don't think Eliwood would look like that," Chrom said.
"Yeah…" Morgan put the card away. "There are others kinda sorta like this. Weird in a different way. But most of the cards and characters are really good! Oh, and they also each have their own stats and rarities and skills. That's all down here, see?" Morgan pointed to the bottom half of Ninian's card.
"Wow. This seems rather complex for a simple card game," Cherche remarked.
"Oh yeah, it's super deep. There's rules on attacking, defending, priority, battles and a bunch of other stuff. It took Dad and me a while before we got the hang of it."
"And what exactly do you do with these cards?" Noire asked
"Well that's an easy one. We fight!"
"Fight?"
"Yeah. I said there's rules for battle, right? Well the main point of the game is to buy these card packs in order to get the characters you want and build up your deck to fight other players! Dad and I got into this game in a big way and have been duking it out with each other for a while."
"That sounds very interesting," Lucina said.
"But how do you know which characters to collect?" Chrom asked. "If each pack of cards has a random amount of units in it, isn't it a game of chance which characters you get?"
"Kinda, yeah," Morgan acknowledged. "However, they do special booster packs that feature certain characters and a higher chance to get said characters. Now, that's not to say that you'll definitely get them, as Dad has discovered buying packs every time they featured Ninian."
"And still not getting even one of her!" Robin cried.
"So it's still a game of chance," Morgan continued. "The only difference is that your chance of getting featured characters is higher with these packs. And they're time-limited, which increases the incentive to buy them while they're hot."
"Forgive me for saying so, but this sounds like an expensive hobby," Cordelia remarked.
"Not really. I mean, yeah, you spend money on the card packs, but each one comes with some currency cards."
"Currency cards?"
"Yeah. Like some cards that you can exchange in stores for packs instead of paying money. So for every card pack you buy, you get some currency cards. Collect enough of them and you can get a free pack!" Morgan explained. "And when you buy a pack with your currency cards, you get even more of them! So you spend some money initially but the packs really do pay for themselves. Sort of."
"And how many cards have you got so far?" Sumia inquired.
"See for yourself." Morgan reached into her coat and took out a leather pouch. "Behold, my deck thus far! It's my pride and joy."
Everyone leaned in to examine Morgan's cards.
"Oh wow, look at the art!"
"It's certainly very high quality."
"Ooh, this one looks fancy!"
"Ah, I see Arvis and Zephiel. How fascinating."
"Yep!" Morgan smiled proudly. "This deck is the culmination of all my hard work. Spent a long time collecting all these and building it so that it synergizes well with my overall playstyle. I even managed to beat Dad a bunch!"
"It's really not that hard to beat someone when your deck has top tier units and your opponent has trash," Robin commented morosely.
"Come on, Dad, your deck isn't all trash."
"But it has a lot of it. And you have so many more five stars than I do! It's…" Robin trailed off as he examined the last card from his pack.
"Dad…?"
An unsettling smiled slowly spread across Robin's face. "Oh, this is good. This is very good…"
"What's up, Dad? Get something good?"
"Oh yes, Morgan. Something very good."
"Neat. Who'd you get?"
"I think I'll keep that to myself for now," Robin said, tucking his cards away into his coat. "And surprise you when next we duel."
"Keeping something tucked up your sleeve, huh? No matter. It won't save you anyway," Morgan smirked. "My deck is specifically built to crush yours."
"And my deck evolves with every new pack bought," Robin countered. "Even if I do get trash more often than not, there's still some value to be had. Most of the time. The point is, my overly confident daughter, that you should never underestimate your opponents and especially when your opponent is me."
"We'll just have to see about that, won't we? My dragon teams grow with each new addition. They're ready to devour you! Again!"
"Sure they will, Morgan. Sure they will." Robin turned to the others in the room. "What about you guys? Morgan gave you a brief rundown of the game and how it works. Interested?"
"Oh yeah! Having new players would be great!" Morgan said excitedly. "We could all buy packs together and build different decks and fight each other and stuff! While fighting Dad is fun and all, it would be so much better if there would be more than just two people who were into this. What do you say, guys? Join us? Come on, you know you want to!"
"It does seem a very interesting game…" Noire murmured.
"Indeed," Lucina agreed. "I think I recall seeing something like this in the future…"
"Great! So let me tell you guys all about it and what you need to do to get started!" Both Noire and Lucina were caught off-guard at Morgan's enthusiasm as she took their arms and led them outside the room. "Oh man, this'll be great! Dad and I will finally have more people to fight and compare decks! So the first thing you need to know is…"
"She seems eager as always…" Robin shook his head in amusement as Morgan's voice disappeared down the hallway. He then turned to the others. "How about you guys? Card game sound like something you'd be into?"
"I don't know," Chrom said uncertainly, "Seems like it's really thick with rules for a simple card game."
"Chrom, this game is far from simple, but it's really fun once you get the hang of it."
Chrom's mind immediately went to when Robin tried to teach him how to play the Risk/Reward board game. Or more specifically, the hours upon hours Robin spent telling him all the rules of the game before they actually got to playing the damn thing.
Chrom shivered at the memory.
"I think I'll pass. After all, we have a lot of things we need to be doing around camp, what with the war and all. I don't think I'll have time to play some children's card game."
"First of all, this is not a children's card game!" Robin snapped. "It's a really thought-out and faithful interpretation of all the stories and characters we've read about. Waaaay too complicated to be a children's card game. Secondly, you'll have plenty of time to learn the ropes! After all, I did."
"Yes, but you tend to spend a disproportionate amount of your time on…let's say, activities of questionable usefulness. And!" Chrom quickly continued before Robin could protest, "We all appreciate you spending your time doing your job and keeping us all alive. How you manage to fit in all this other stuff, I'll never know…"
"Part of being a master of grandness such as myself is to timetable my time to maximize efficiency." Robin said sagely. "That means fitting in my official duties, chores and other work-related things in such a way so that I can have enough free time to do what I want."
"Yes, and you've clearly done a lot of 'maximizing' of your free time," Chrom remarked dryly.
Robin shrugged. "Some days are slower than others. Anyway, you're still saying no to the card game?"
"I'm afraid I am."
"…Yeah, okay. I guess it's for the best."
"Thanks for understanding."
"I mean, you'd probably never beat me anyway."
That hit a nerve.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Chrom asked indignantly.
"Chrom, come on. If you can't beat me in board games, how can you possibly beat me in a 'children's card game'?"
Chrom knew that Robin was baiting him. Chrom knew that he was above this and all he had to do was calmly walk away. And of the many times Chrom didn't rise to Robin's baiting, this was not one of them.
"You know what, forget what I said before. Tell me everything I need to know and need to get started. I'll do this just to prove you wrong and beat that smug look off your face."
"Sure, sure, whatever you say, Chrom. I'll try to hold in my laughter when you inevitably get Bartres from your packs."
"Laugh it up now. You'll cry when I get Ninian."
Robin's smile faltered just a bit. "Tough talk, but you need to have really good luck to draw her from the multitude of other cards in circulation. Like, better luck than Morgan."
Chrom smirked. "Watch me."
"I'm watching." Robin then turned to the others. "How about you guys? You in on this?"
"Those cards sure were pretty," Sumia said. "I would love to collect them."
"The cards are primarily for fighting, but you can collect them if you want. And yes, some of the art on there is really good," Robin agreed. "Any other takers?"
Cordelia thought for a minute before shrugging. "Oh, why not. Our little sessions over Risk/Reward are always interesting. Besides, I don't think you'll give up until I give in."
"That's the spirit!" Robin smiled. "Two more on board! Oliva? Cherche? …Frederick. What say you?"
"I'm not sure about how good I'll be at the fighting, but the art on the cards sure is beautiful," Olivia said. "I think I'll join Sumia in collecting."
"It does sound like it can be fun. Perhaps I'll even join in instead of watching from the sidelines like I do when you set up one of your board games," Cherche said.
"Say, why do you just watch instead of playing?" Robin inquired.
"Truthfully? It's much more exciting watching matches when it's between you and Virion," Cherche admitted. "You two get so serious when you face each other, almost as if you two really are marching to war with your armies. And it's much more fun watching two experts who know what they're doing than to face one while fumbling myself."
"Come now, Cherche, don't sell yourself short. I'm sure you could be a fine opponent given the proper training!" Robin asserted.
"That's very kind of you, Robin, but I don't think I can do as well as you think I can in board games. However, this card game seems like something I'd be willing to try. If nothing else, I will join the others in admiring and collecting the art."
"I really hope you three manage to step up and fight instead of sitting around the table collecting cards…" Robin muttered. "But hey, everyone's on board! That's great! I finally have other people besides Morgan to talk about this game!"
"Robin, aren't you forgetting someone?" Cherche asked.
"Huh?"
Cherche motioned with her head and Robin's eyes traveled toward Frederick.
"Cherche, how many times must I tell you that Frederick hates fun. He must be allergic or something. And since this card game is all sorts of fun, there's no way Frederick will be interested in it."
"While I appreciate you speaking on my behalf, Robin," Frederick began calmly, not dignifying the more outrageous parts of Robin's sentence with a response, "I must respectfully decline. There are a lot of duties that I must tend to around camp and have no time to undertake in…this."
Robin pointed and nodded. "See? And Frederick here takes it upon himself to do even the most menial tasks. I mean, those pebbles aren't going to clear themselves. That's a full daytime job!"
Frederick shot Robin an irritated look.
"Come now, Sir Frederick, will you not join us in card collecting?" Cherche inquired.
"I'm afraid not, milady," Frederick answered.
"Is there no way I can convince you otherwise?"
"You have convinced me time and again to come join you in reading and discussing books with others. However, I will have to draw the line here," Frederick said politely.
"A shame. Perhaps you will change your mind in the future."
"I highly doubt that, milady."
"See? He hates fun," Robin said. "But hey, we got all of you on board! That's great! Okay, so there's a lot of stuff you guys need to know and card packs you need to buy. I'll explain everything during our next meeting."
"Wait, what? You're not going to tell us the rules and stuff now?" Chrom asked, surprised.
"Not now. Next time. Have some things that need to be done. Later!"
And with that, Robin walked out of the room.
Robin walked out of the small inn he was staying, breathed in the fresh air and looked around the village.
It was a small village, off the beaten path and hidden so that only those who knew where it existed could find it. And a good thing, too. Robin forgot what it felt like spending days upon days out in the wilderness without the comforts of things like beds, or…well, mostly beds. Nice and soft beds…
Snapping out of his thoughts, Robin looked around until he saw some familiar faces.
"Oh hey, Virion! Say'ri!"
The two looked up as Robin approached.
"Hail, Robin," Say'ri greeted.
"Robin!" In contrast to Say'ri, Virion's greeting was much more enthusiastic. "A pleasure to see you, as always."
"The pleasure is all yours, I'm sure," Robin joked.
"What brings you here to us?"
"I've actually been looking for Say'ri," Robin said, turning to the woman in question, "I wanted to thank you for bringing us here to your secret village out here. It's just what we needed."
Say'ri smiled. "Think nothing of it, Robin, although I should mention that this isn't 'my' secret village. 'Tis simply a place for weary travelers to rest and recuperate so that they may continue on their way to their ultimate destination."
"But if it's just that, why is it all tucked away and hard to find?"
"To help it avoid trouble, I wager. Not being found around any major road or intersection helps the people here avoid bandits or imperials and the conflicts they bring. This small village is supposed to be a haven of sorts, where all are welcome regardless of creed or nationality. The sages and citizens here will help anyone who stops by—something they could not do if this village was somewhere more easily accessible."
"I guess that makes sense, but how did you know how to find it and where it was?"
"Say'ri grinned. "We in the resistance are a sneaky and well-traveled lot, used to scouting out routes that are less traveled. One of ours heard of this village's existence from some travelers and spread the news to the rest of us."
"But doesn't that mean the Valmese can do the same?"
"They can, but they won't," Say'ri said dismissively. "The imperials have more important things to do than trek through the harsh terrain in pursuit of a small village of little strategic value. They would not find any of our agents here anyway. As I said earlier, this village is merely a temporary stop for travelers. Even we are not planning to stay here for more than a few days, aye?"
"…Point taken."
"Ah, how I missed the air of a small village…"
Robin and Say'ri both looked over to Virion, who sighed contentedly.
"There is something so…simple and nostalgic about it. Very different from the atmosphere of the big city."
"Really?" Robin looked around. "I don't feel anything."
"Ah, but you have not lived all your life confined to life in the court," Virion pointed out.
"Well, it depends on how you define 'life.' All my memories are of court life, if that counts? In the big city and everything, and I have to say that this little village feels no different."
"Yes, but can you really claim that when you've spent at least half of that time out marching?"
"…Well played."
Virion bowed. "I always strive to be a worthy opponent, both on and off the field of honor.
"At least I've begun to avenge all my honor by having a more or less equal win-to-loss ratio…" Robin cleared his throat. "Er, yes. So thank you, Say'ri, for sharing your knowledge of this place's existence with us. It's doing us a world of good."
"A pleasure. I know how important rest is to an army's capabilities."
"Very important indeed. Anyway, what have you guys been doing?"
"Lord Virion and I have been discussing matters in Valm and the state of our respective lands."
"Really? I feel you've been doing that for ages now."
"There have been many new developments that Lord Virion was unaware of."
"It's true," Virion confirmed, nodding. "Even though I was not gone too long after seeking your aid against Walhart, things have certainly moved fast. Lady Say'ri here has been kind enough to fill me in on everything that I've missed. Knowing the fate of my people eases my mind somewhat."
"…Isn't their land being occupied at this very moment?"
"Yes, and that fact haunts my every thought…" Virion admitted darkly. "Yet even despite such dire news, they all live. No lives have been lost in a fruitless confrontation with Walhart and, although I hear that life under his rule can be harsh, I know that my people live. It is the only thing that convinces me that my gamble to seek your aid was the right one."
"So you came to seek our help, abandoning your homeland to avoid a prolonged conflict and massive loss of life?" Robin asked, impressed.
Virion nodded solemnly.
"Huh. I never knew you cared so much."
"Lord Virion always has his people's well-being at heart. I can personally attest to that," Say'ri said. "Although he can be, shall we say, extravagant at times, he always does what's best for his subjects."
"Yes, even if they do not know it or appreciate me for it…" Virion joked ruefully.
"Yeah. About that. I can't imagine that they took too kindly to seeing you, their leader, run off gods know where while Walhart was gobbling up land all around them, even if you did have their best intentions. From what I understand, you never really explained your plan to them before running off to see us."
"That I did not. My people were determined to defend their homeland with their very lives, odds be damned. I don't think I could have convinced them otherwise."
"So you took that option out of their hands and instead disappeared without notice," Robin stated.
Virion nodded.
"…I doubt that made you look very good in their eyes."
"That it did not. Oh, the things Say'ri tells me they say about me! You would've thought they forgot all the years of service I had dedicated to them! Such awful, hurtful things. It really hurts one's heart!"
To emphasize his point, Virion clutched his chest and made some very dramatic pained noises.
"There we go…" Robin chuckled, "Virion back to his usual old self. Seeing you being all serious and stuff was…unexpected. I was not prepared for it at all."
"Lord Virion is a serious individual when the matters call for it," said Say'ri. "He makes for a fine statesman. It is this quality that we in Chon'sin both admired and were infuriated by."
Robin raised a brow questioningly.
"As neighbors, our two lands were naturally involved with many a negotiation," Say'ri explained. "And as the head of his lands, Lord Virion was usually the one we negotiated with. He did what was best for his people, of course. And that made him a very hard person to negotiate with, which was admirable, though very frustrating at times."
"Milady, you give me too much credit!" Virion said. "And you yourself were a very skilled negotiator during our many verbal sparring matches. It took all my skill and charm to finally get access to your market for my merchants. You have certainly driven a hard bargain."
Robin looked between the two. "…Is that some kind of innuendo?"
"Sir Robin?" Say'ri gave him a curious look.
"Robin! Have you no sense of tact?" Virion tried to quickly change the subject.
"Sure I do. I've got tact aplenty. I've got so much tact that I put the 'tact' into 'tactician.' Eh? Eh?" Robin nudged Virion expectantly.
"Yes, Robin. Truly your verbal prowess never ceases to amaze us," Virion said tiredly.
"Bah! Forget you. I'm going to go take my amazing verbal prowess to someone who'll appreciate them! I bid you two farewell. And once again, thank you, Say'ri, for leading us to this little sanctuary."
"Is…is Sir Robin upset?" Say'ri asked uncertainly, watching Robin walk away.
"Think nothing of it, milady. Robin is a man of many moods and temperaments, going through each one multiple times per day."
Say'ri tilted her head.
"He'll be fine," Virion assured. "I have spent many years with him and gotten to know him quite well."
"I will take your word for it."
"Indeed. Now then, allow me to introduce you to this lovely blend of tea I happened to come across. It's a blend of…"
As Robin was walking past the houses in the little village, idly waving to the passersby while mentally checking the list of things he needed to get done, a familiar face grabbed his attention.
"Inigo? That you?"
"Huh? Oh, hi, Robin," the young man greeted dejectedly.
"…You look like your pet just died or something. Why the long face, Inigo? Get rejected or something?" Robin asked jokingly.
"A bit…"
Robin's smile vanished. "…Excuse me?"
"Robin, do you know why I fight?"
"To…help Lucina defeat Grima and prevent the world from becoming the hellish landscape it was in your future…?" Robin ventured hopefully.
"Exactly! Girls."
"…What?"
"What?"
"That's…not even remotely close to what I said."
"Oh. I mean, yes, of course stopping Grima and the future is my main priority and stuff," Inigo said. "But you know what's also a very important priority?"
"…Girls?"
"Exactly! Girls. Pretty girls and them knowing my name. Having girls swoon at the mention of your name is a preeeeetty good motivator for fighting and winning the war, eh? Eh?" Inigo smiled playfully and nudged Robin a few times.
Robin sighed heavily. "So you being upset again brings us back to being rejected by girls?"
"Well, yeah. Of course. There's nothing more crushing than putting everything you've got into courting a pretty young village girl only to have her reject you!"
"…I don't even know why I expected anything else…"
"Well, technically she didn't reject me," Inigo continued obliviously, "I had her in the bag and everything! All I needed to do was pop the tea question and she would've been mine. Heh, I'm telling you, Robin, she was swept up by my worldly charms, never having left this village and all."
"I'm sure she was, Inigo," Robin said, rolling his eyes.
"But just before I asked her to have tea with me, her father just happened to walk by!"
"I can't imagine he took too kindly to you hitting on his daughter."
"No he did not. He looked like a kindly old man, probably one of the many sages here. But what he said to me was most definitely not something a kind old man would say!" Inigo exclaimed.
"Did he hit you?"
"What? No."
"Did she hit and/or slap you?"
"No. I think she really liked me!"
"Oh. Well then. Inigo, as fascinating as it is listening to yet another episode in your never-ending tale of getting rejected by girls, this one seems way less funny than the other ones and also, I have many more things I need to be doing today."
"Oh…" Inigo deflated.
"Why do you even spend so much time chasing girls? Don't you have any hobbies?"
"But—"
"Chasing girls is not a hobby!" Robin snapped.
"…Oh."
"Seriously? Don't you train in your spare time or something?"
"Of course I do! Kinda have to by this point. Have to keep the senses sharp and all that, you know? You don't survive in a hellish future by slacking off."
"Really? Because it seems like that's exactly what you're doing."
"Well, we're not in a hellish future now, are we?" Inigo remarked cheekily.
"…Point taken. But you must have some other hobbies besides hitting poorly on women."
"Hey! I don't hit on them poorly!" Inigo objected indignantly.
"Really?" Robin crossed his arms. "Of all the girls you hit on, how many of them agreed to have tea with you?"
"Well…th-that's…! I would have a very good success rate if fate didn't have it out for me! I swear, every time I find a girl that looks interested or is about to say yes, something always happens. It's either Father dragging me off somewhere, or her friends calling to her, or the village getting attacked, or her husband choosing that moment to make himself known. It's a conspiracy!"
"So…that's a solid none, then."
Inigo was about to protest before sighing. "…Yes."
"Inigo, seriously? This is the one thing you do in your spare time? You have absolutely no other hobbies?"
"Well, that's not true. I have plenty."
"Like?"
"Well, in my spare time I like to da…" Inigo's eyes widened in horror as he just realized what he was about to say. "Er, I mean, nothing. I said nothing."
"What? I clearly heard you about to say something else."
"Nope. Nopenopenope! I have one hobby and that's hitting on girls and that's it. That's all. That's all! I'm a one trick pony, yep. Ha ha ha…"
"…What are you hiding from me?"
"I'm not hiding anything! I'm just…uh…embarrassed that you caught me with my dirty little secret of having only one thing to do in my spare time and definitely nothing else!"
Robin looked at Inigo suspiciously. "…You're not doing anything illegal while we're not looking, are you?"
"What? No!" Inigo exclaimed, horrified.
Robin narrowed his eyes.
"I'm not! Why would you even think that?"
"Because why else would you get all fidgety when I ask you what else you do in your spare time?"
"Robin, I swear to you that I'm not doing anything shady. You can ask Mother, Father, Lucina, or anyone else to vouch for me."
"I may very well do that…"
"I'm confident that you'll find my character to be squeaky clean and my name unsullied!"
"Sure whatever."
Inigo sighed, relieved.
"So if you're not up to anything shady, what are you up to?"
"O-oh. What am I up to? Well that's easy. I—what's that? Father is calling? Looks like I have to go see him. Bye, Robin!"
Without waiting for a reply, Inigo scurried off.
Robin looked at Inigo's retreating figure, confused. "Chrom and Olivia sure did raise a weird kid. Can't believe he's Lucina's brother…"
"Oh, Robin! There you are!"
"Hm?"
Robin turned around just in time to see Sumia running up to him.
"Hey, Sumia. What's up?"
"I was just looking for you," Sumia said when she reached him. "You ran out of our meeting room so suddenly I didn't get to finish talking with you."
"Is there anything else to say? I thought we discussed everything we needed to at our meeting."
Sumia giggled. "Am I not allowed to talk to you outside our meetings?"
"Of course not! You know I'm always available for you, Sumia." Robin smiled. "What's up?"
"I…" Sumia began before she realized something. "Oh, I'm not interrupting you, am I?"
"Not at all. I'm just busy doing some routine checkup things here and there. You're more than welcome to join me if you want. "
"Okay."
The two set off together.
"So…Robin," Sumia began.
"Yes?"
"About what you told us back at the meeting. You know, about your sudden change of your 'no romance ever' policy…"
"What about it?"
"Well, for one, it was quite sudden and unexpected. Here we thought you were sticking with your views and then you sprang that out on us all out of nowhere!"
"Yeah...sorry about that," Robin said sheepishly. "I was going to wait until after we dealt with Walhart, you know, to make a big surprise announcement to celebrate our victory and give everyone a break."
"But…?"
"I…figured I'd give you guys the good news first…?"
"Robin…"
"I don't know, okay? Our discussions get really heated sometimes and jump to topics that aren't even tangentially related to the subject at hand. Besides, it was you guys! You dragged it out of me with all your questions and your prodding!"
"Okay, Robin, relax," Sumia laughed. "I'm not judging you or anything. I'm just curious as to your thinking. You've maintained your position on romance for a long time now and this sudden change without warning seems…uncharacteristic?"
"I suppose it would, wouldn't it? But I've actually given this thing a lot of thought. Like, a lot. So much it kept me awake some nights."
"Really?"
"Yeeep…" Robin sighed heavily.
"So…what kind of things were you thinking about?" Sumia asked tentatively.
"As you know, Lucina already said that she had friends she came with back to the past and that all of us got married in the future."
"Did she really say all of us got married?"
"…Okay, maybe she didn't say 'all' of us, but the implication was clear! I'm almost completely certain that, if not all of us, then at least most of us got married in her future."
"I just wish she'd tell us who the couples were…" Sumia mumbled.
"I know! Would certainly help knowing who ends up with who so I can berate them in advance and stuff…" Robin grumbled.
"But didn't you say you were okay with us forming relationships?"
"Well, yeah, but you only know that because I told you. The others don't know anything and as far as they are aware, nothing's changed. So if they suddenly hooked up, they'd be breaking the rules! There will not, or rather, shouldn't, be any romance still for the duration of the war!"
"I can't believe I'm actually hearing you change your position on this. For as long as I've known you, this was one of the things you've held firmly to no matter what."
"I know. This whole 'no romance' thing was basically one of the pillars of things I very truly believed in. It took a lot of thinking and sleepless nights for me change my position on this…"
"It was bothering you that much, huh?"
"Yeah…" Robin sighed. "At first I still held firm, but then Lucina happened and told us about her friends and future children. My initial response was to keep firm and keep everything as it was until I could properly figure out what to do. Basically kick the whole thing down the road."
"But…?"
"But then Morgan happened and I found out that I break my most sacred of rules and beliefs."
"But you seem so happy every time you're with her…"
"Don't get me wrong, Sumia, Morgan is my daughter and I love her and cherish her and want to be the best father that I can be for her, but her appearance really did throw everything I thought I knew about myself into question, you know?"
"Mm…" Sumia nodded.
"And her sudden appearance pretty much forced me to think about the bigger picture of Lucina's friends and their parents."
"Oh?"
"Yep. Like, we all know that they're out there and they exist, but that's only because we know that certain people got together and made a child. So, if I tell them they're not allowed to get together, what'll happen? Lucina knows her friends exist, but if their parents don't get together, does that mean they'll just disappear or cease to exist? And if so, that's like erasing them. I'll be erasing Lucina's friends, Sumia!"
"But…we already know they exist. And it's not like you prohibited relationships forever. Surely everything would work out and mean that everyone finds their significant other later on?"
"Well, yes, but my original position was not to allow any relationships while everyone is in active service, so that meant that everyone would have to have gotten married and had their children appear after they'd retired. Well, barring everyone already married, that is. Regardless, that meant that they'd have to retire before they could go and find love, and with this whole Valm thing, I can't really afford to discharge our best soldiers, not to mention that we still have to deal with Grima. So if I was sticking to my original position, the only time Lucina's friends could show up is after Valm and after Grima. Given the fact that their entire mission is to avoid Grima's return, that would make it moot. I mean, it's not like they can appear when their parents haven't found each other and aren't married, right?"
"I suppose so, although Morgan…"
"Sumia, please don't even get me started on Morgan. I have so many questions about her and have no answers. Thinking about the whole thing gives me a headache…" Robin rubbed his temples.
"Right. She really is one big mystery, isn't she?"
"Yeah, but I still can't help but love her." Robin smiled. "And knowing how I, as a parent, feel about my daughter, I'm sure others must feel the same way. Or rather, would, since their children haven't showed up yet. The point being, who am I to potentially imperil or delay the existence of Lucina's friends? Her friends are probably all amazing soldiers and we need all the help we can get and their parents would probably resent me if I prevent them from getting together and from delay their kid from showing up by prohibiting any romantic relationships involving Shepherds. And since they all exist as far as we know, the only thing I can do is not stand in the way of the inevitable and just let things flow naturally."
"It must've taken you a lot of thinking before you came to this conclusion, huh?"
"A lot…" Robin sighed heavily and sat on a log. "But just because I'm forced to change my position does not mean I've changed my views! I still think love and romance are huge distractions and liabilities and have no place on the battlefield! And we're still in the middle of a war, for Naga's sake! So even if I can't stop the inevitable, I can at least delay it enough to make the timing less crappy. So as far as you and everyone else is concerned, nothing's changed while we're at war! We are all to be professional and platonic and aromantic as long as we have a war to fight!"
"Of course, of course. But once we finish…"
"Once we wrap this Valm thing up I will have to give you all permission to seek out whatever, or whoever, your hearts desire."
"Thank you for the very enthusiastic seal of approval, Robin," Sumia said playfully.
"Hey, you're lucky you're getting an anything of approval at all! You know as well as anyone how firmly I stuck to my beliefs. To have to change them so radically is…is…you're lucky you have anything at all!"
"Relax, Robin. I was just kidding," Sumia chuckled. "I know what a significant moment this is and how hard it must've been for you."
"And since I'm giving you people free reign to pursue your love lives, remember your promise to me, Sumia," Robin said seriously.
"Huh?"
"Don't you remember? During the journey to Valm? We were talking about the future and the marriage and then the subject turned to you and you promised me that you'll come to me first when you've fallen in love and found your significant other?"
Sumia looked at Robin blankly.
"Come on, Sumia! You're killing me here! That was a very serious and important promise that I was going to hold you to!"
Sumia laughed. "I'm just kidding, Robin. Of course I remember our conversation then."
"Dear gods, you almost gave me a heart attack!" Robin exclaimed. "But seriously, Sumia."
"Don't worry, Robin, I'm just teasing you. I haven't forgotten."
"Oh thank gods…" Robin sighed in relief. "Because seriously, Sumia! I didn't have you promise me that for nothing. You heard how important that was to me back at the ship, right?"
"Robin, I fully intend to keep my promise to you. You…" Sumia looked down bashfully. "You'll be the first one I come to once we finish this."
"Well that's a relief, although it'll be a sad day all the same. The day I lose yet another best friend to love. Urgh…"
"You know, Robin, it doesn't have to be a sad day. I mean, I could be coming to you with good news…"
"Yes, I know. And trust me, Sumia, I'll be happy and supportive of whoever you'll find for yourself. Definitely. Probably. Maybe. Depending on if he's actually good enough for you."
Sumia giggled. "Oh, I have full confidence that the person I come to you about will have your full seal of approval."
"I really hope so, Sumia. You deserve nothing but the best."
Sumia blushed at Robin's comment and tried to change the subject. "Robin?"
"Yes?"
"Weren't you supposed to be doing something now?"
"Going over things and checking stuff, yeah. Why do you ask?"
"Well…we're outside the village. And in the forest…"
"…What?" Now that he looked around, Robin saw that they were indeed outside the village and surrounded by trees. "…How long have we been talking?"
Before Sumia could respond, a woman ran out of some bushes right toward them.
"P-please help! Th-they're right behind me!"
"Wha—?"
And before Robin could get anything else out, he saw two men emerge from where the woman came from.
"This is it boss! That treasure's here; I'm sure of it!" the bigger man cried.
"Lucky us," said the shorter man. "And it looks like the wench here tried to give us the slip before we could properly interrogate her. And it looks like she has friends."
"Who?" Robin looked around before pointing to himself. "Us?"
"Who else? Now you best speak and tell us where you put that nice treasure if you know what's good for you. Speak! Where'd you put it?"
"I've never heard of no treasure here! Honest I haven't!" the woman whimpered, now standing behind Sumia.
The smaller man sneered. "Playing dumb won't save you. Let's hope your friends will be more cooperative."
"Seriously," Robin spoke up, confused, "Us?"
"Yeah, you. Now you've got exactly five seconds to spill the info before we gut you."
"Hold on, back up. I don't even know what you're talking about! Maybe if we start from the beginning—"
"Bah! Useless, all of you!" spat the smaller man. "Guess we'll have to find the treasure the hard way. Taggart! Kill them all."
"Aye, boss!" the bigger man said enthusiastically and readied his axe.
"…Why does something like this always happen to me…?" Robin wondered aloud as he reached for his sword. He then swore when his hand touched air, remembering that he left his sword in his room because he thought they were all in a safe area and he was just going to go around the village doing chores for a few minutes.
"Uh, Robin?" Sumia looked at him nervously, also lacking any weaponry.
"Guess this is one of those days…" Robin muttered, switching plans and reaching for his trusty spellbook.
"Time to say your prayer—"
"Halt, fiends!"
Everyone turned to see a man with dark hair and a yellow myrmidon's outfit.
"The devil are you?!" the ruffian asked.
"One chosen by forces beyond mortal comprehension! See how my sword hand twitches! It hungers...for justice! Leave now if you value life and limb, for I cannot stay the hungry hand!"
"This guy's got rocks in his head..." the ruffian muttered, then turned to his smaller companion who shrugged and motioned with his head. "All right then, boy. Guess you're the first to—Gragh!"
The ruffian was struck down mid-sentence by a swift blow from the stranger.
"I tried to warn you, foul villain. The hand cannot be denied!"
"Not bad," Robin observed. "Quick, clean, efficient strike. Very precise."
Meanwhile, the smaller man growled. "Argh! Who ARE you?!"
"I am the wolf who howls for justice! The eagle who cries for love! A chosen warrior come from the future to bring hope for a dying world...I am Owain!" the man apparently named Owain announced, striking a (heroic?) pose. "Now, atone for your deeds in the eternal hellfire of perdition! RADIANT...DAAAAAAWN!"
Everyone present looked at Owain, who stuck out his hand. When nothing happened after a minute, they exchanged confused glances, and then looked back at Owain.
"Is…is something supposed to be happening?" Sumia whispered.
"I…think so?" Robin guessed.
"…Blast you, sword hand! Now's no time for games!" Owain said, looking at his hand scornfully. He then turned to the smaller man. "You've escaped fate this time, rogue, but remember—justice always prevails!"
Robin shook his head. "…I am so lost right now."
Meanwhile, the other man just laughed. "Gahar har har! I KNEW there were rocks in your head! Ah, and there's my boys now. You three best remember where that treasure is real quick if you want to live."
True enough, Robin saw a bunch of really bandity-looking men emerging from the trees behind where the first two men came from.
The young woman gasped in shock behind Sumia.
"Uh, Robin? Plan of action?" Sumia looked at Robin desperately.
"Odds don't look too favorable. I suggest a tactical retreat back to the village to get our weapons and reinforcements."
"But they'll surely follow us."
Robin smirked. "Not if I buy us some time."
"Hey, enough whispering over there. It's time to talk or die!"
"You fiends! Picking on the weak and the defenseless!" Owain cried. "As a warrior of justice, I will not yield! Even if there are a hundred, nay, a thousand of you! Because—"
While Owain was busy shouting his nonsense and diverting the bandits' attention away, Robin concentrated his magic and shot a chain lightning spell at nearby trees, damaging their trunks and causing them to fall right in front of the group of bandits.
"Okay, distraction caused. Sumia, unnamed girl, let's get the hell out of here!"
"Ha ha! Very wise thinking, my—wait, 'Sumia'? Can it be that you're—hey, wait up!" Owain shouted as he ran after them.
Gaius was walking around, chewing on a lollipop and minding in own business in the village when he saw some people running toward him.
"Whoa. Hey, Bubbles, Stumbles. What's with the rush? Got a fire—"
"Not now, Gaius!" Robin interrupted. "No time to explain. Emergency situation. You're fast, right? Go find every Shepherd you can and tell them to get their weapons and report to me in the village square as soon as possible."
"Bubbles, what's—"
"EMERGENCY SITUATION!" Robin cried. "Go get everyone. Go!"
Sensing that this was serious and Robin wasn't fooling around or having an episode, Gaius nodded and dashed off.
"You," Robin addressed the woman they rescued. "I suggest you go and barricade yourself in your house and don't come out until everything is quiet."
The woman nodded, quickly thanked them and ran away.
"Okay, okay, that's done, what next…" Robin quickly glanced at Sumia. "Right. Probably weapons. Sumia, where'd you leave yours?"
"By the stables."
"Good. That's where we should be headed next. Would probably help us all if you got your pegasus and did your thing from the air."
"Right."
"Okay, let's—"
"Robin!"
The grandmaster looked up to see Chrom running toward him with an old man.
"What's going on? Gaius just ran past me and told me that there's an emergency."
"Yes there is. Long story short: Sumia and I ran into a bunch of bandits who're probably on their way here now to raid the village in search of treasure."
"Treasure? But we don't have any treasure here!" exclaimed the old man that Robin now recognized as the village elder.
"Doesn't matter. Bandits aren't picky. So please get every militiaman you can and prepare your defenses."
"But we don't have any defenses!"
"What—? How can your village not have any defenses?!"
"We are but a simple village of healers that help travelers. And our location means that we're not too easy to find. All of our visitors thus far have been kind and peaceful!"
Robin stared at the elder in disbelief.
"Um, Robin? Maybe now's not the time to focus on that and maybe prepare for the raid…?" Sumia urged.
"…Right. You're right." Robin shook his head. "You're just lucky we showed up when we did, old man. Now go hide somewhere safe! And lock your door!"
"Th-thank you, kind strangers! May Naga—"
"No time for that. Go!"
The old man nodded and headed…somewhere.
"I can't believe these people have sat here completely defenseless all this time…" Robin grumbled. He then turned to Chrom. "Chrom, please tell me you have Falchion with you."
"Always," Chrom replied, patting the scabbard at his side.
"Good. That at least saves us the trouble of having to go fetch it. Now come on! We have to—"
"H-halt, friends!"
Robin growled. "Gods, what is it now?!"
Looking back, he saw Owain making his way toward them.
"H-hail…hail to you…" Owain panted and bent forward, trying to catch his breath. "Gods, you sure can run fast…!"
"Are you still with us?" Robin asked irritably. "I thought you'd wandered off somewhere after we got the hell out of there."
"Me? Run away from those in need of protection? Never!" Owain took a deep breath. "I am an agent of justice that stalks the land, smiting evildoers who pray on the weak with the white-hot fury of—"
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Robin cut him off. "But we have a situation to take care of now, so if you don't mind…"
"Of course not! I will gladly lend my sword hand to your cause!" Owain declared.
"…Just who is this guy?" Chrom asked.
Owain cleared his throat. "I am the wolf who howls for justice! The eagle who cries for love! A chosen warrior come from the fu—"
"Okay, seriously! We have no time for this!" Robin's patience was way past its limit. "Chrom, the current plan is to gather everyone we can and rendezvous with the others in the center of the village. From there, I can send everyone on foot over to this side of the village where the bandits are most likely to attack while the usually mounted units head to the stables to get their mounts so they can provide cover."
Owain's eyes widened. "Wait, 'Chrom'?! That means—"
"Sounds like a plan." Chrom nodded.
"New guy, you can stay if you want. Just don't get in our way or do anything stupid. Oh, and try not to die."
"Ha! I'll have you know it'll take a lot more than a few simple bandits to bring down—!"
Screams from the village cut off anything else Owain was about to say.
"That sounded like it came from the east!" Sumia said.
"Is the attack already starting?!" Chrom asked, alarmed.
"It can't. The bandits were behind us and should've come from this direction! Unless those damn bandits got lost and followed us wrong to another end of the village!" Robin shook his head. "Whatever. Doesn't matter now. Come on! Looks like we'll have to change the plan a bit."
"Oh no. Robin!" Sumia suddenly looked worried. "I think the stables are in the east of the village!"
"…Okay, more than a bit. Just hope that we'll find some of the others on the way!"
And so the group ran toward the stables. They ran past a few panicking villagers and cut down some bandits that got ahead of the main group.
"Okay, looks like those idiots did get lost and find another way to get into the village. It can never be easy, can it…?" Robin grumbled. "Anyway, how far we got left?"
"The stables should be right up ahead," Sumia said behind him.
Just then, the group heard shouting and turned to see some bandits fleeing past them.
"What the…?"
Robin's question was soon answered as he saw a giant brown figure.
"Oh. Panne."
"Robin," greeted the taguel.
"Oy, is Robin! And friends!" Gregor stepped from behind Panne, smiling merrily. "Is good to seeing friends are safe."
"Likewise, although you seem to have gotten your weapons surprisingly fast, considering the surprise attack and all," Robin remarked.
"Gregor is seasoning mercenary and has enough experience to know never to leave weapons too out of reach. If you cannot reach weapon, you ending up being not only bad mercenary, but also dead mercenary!" Gregor laughed heartily.
"Seems like a good motto to live by."
"I'm glad you two are unharmed," Chrom said. "Is there anyone else with you?"
"Alive and well," Cordelia reported, also stepping from behind Panne.
"Cordelia, you—" Robin paused and stared.
"…What?"
"Since when can you fight with a sword?"
"Oh, this?" Cordelia nodded to her sword and shield. "I've been training in my spare time to fight on foot. Figured there would be situations where I won't have access to my pegasus and I need to diversify what I fight with."
"…How long have you been doing this and why do I not know about it?"
"Do I need to tell you every little thing I do?"
"Um, guys? Maybe this is not the time for this…?" Sumia interjected.
"Right," Robin nodded and turned to Cordelia. "We'll discuss this later. For now, let's—"
"Hey, lookit! Them's some rich lookin' folks!" yelled a bandit from nearby. "I bet they've got a few things we can sell for a pretty coin or two!"
A few more bandits joined their friend.
"Yeah, but what the hell is that thing next to them!?"
"Looks like a giant bunny."
"Hey, this works out, boys! We can get ourselves some nice rabbit stew after we're all done here!"
"I love rabbit strew."
"I didn't know rabbits could grow so big…"
Panne growled. "Detestable man-spawn."
"Easy…" Robin cautioned, reaching for his spellbook and getting into a fighting stance. "Get ready. On my mark, we—"
He was interrupted by an arrow whizzing from behind him and lodging itself right between the lead bandit's eyes.
The other bandits all cried out in shock.
"Argh! They got Ned!"
"Where'd that arrow come from?!"
The bandits were too shocked to avoid the other arrows that came after.
Robin then heard cackling and a familiar voice behind him.
"PATHETIC VERMIN! ALL WHO OPPOSE THE BLOOD AND THUNDER WILL BURN IN THE FIRES OF PERDITION!"
"Oh. Now it all make sense." Turning, Robin saw Noire shooting off arrows. "Hey, Noire. Thanks for the assist."
"Eek! I-I mean, you're welcome!" Noire smiled nervously.
It always amazed Robin how Noire could snap between being such a timid girl to her other persona at the blink of an eye. It was such a radical difference. Gods, what happened in the future to mess her up so…
"Dad!"
Robin snapped out of his thoughts and became focused on one thing.
"Morgan! Are you okay?! Are you hurt?! What happened to you?!"
"Relax, Dad. We're fine," Morgan said nonchalantly as she reached behind her. "Oh, I brought you this."
"Wha—" Robin barely caught what Morgan threw at him. "Oh hey, my Levin Sword!"
"Yep! I was busy showing Lucina and Noire the ropes of successful card gaming back in our room when these bandits all so rudely interrupted our session! The upside is I managed to bring all of our weapons and stuff."
"That's my girl!" Robin said approvingly, ruffling Morgan's hair. "And I'm glad you're safe. All of you. Thanks for looking after my daughter."
"I-it wasn't a problem," Noire said.
"None at all," Lucina added, now coming into view.
"Lucina." Chrom nodded. "Good to see you're not hurt."
"Thank you, Father."
"So what's the plan, Dad?" Morgan inquired. "We gonna kick these guys' butts?"
"As always, yes," Robin replied. "But first, have you seen any of the others?"
Morgan shook her head. "We were inside before everything blew up. Ran out not too long ago and ran into you guys."
"I really wish I knew where the others were…" Robin cleared his throat. "I'm sure they'll be fine. What matters now is getting to the stables and getting our fliers into the air. From there we can prevent these bandits from spreading further into the village."
"Got it."
"Stables aren't too far from here, right?"
"They should be right ahead," Sumia said.
"Good. Let's get there while there's—"
"Noire! And LUCINA!"
"Argh, what now!?" Robin was starting to get annoyed.
The assembled group looked back to see Owain rush up to the girls and embrace them.
"E-eep!" Noire squeaked, taken by surprise.
Meanwhile, Lucina returned the hug. "I'm so glad you're safe, Owain."
"Ha ha, of course I'm safe! No mere bandits or even the tide of fate could stop the—"
"Okay, I'm sure we all have some questions, but those and everything else can wait until after we've fended off this bandit attack, yeah?" Robin interrupted, quite irritated. "Now come on, we have some stables to get to."
"But Robin, can we at least—" Chrom began.
"Chrom, the village is under attack right now," Robin pointed out, emphasizing the last part.
"…Right, okay. Lucina, Noire, new guy."
"Say no more, Father," Lucina said. "We can wait and explain later."
Robin looked around the corner to see a group of bandits assembled in front of a building.
"That's the stables, yeah?"
"I'm afraid so," Cordelia confirmed.
"Of course it is. And of course that bandit group has to stand right in front of it…" Robin sighed.
"What is plan of attack?" Gregor asked.
"A sneak attack would work best. We can take out as many of the bandits as we can without them noticing us and—"
"I don't think that will be necessary."
Everyone turned to look at Panne, who had her ear to the ground.
Robin raised a brow. "…Care to elaborate?"
"I think you will see for yourselves."
Sure enough, there was a loud screech from the stables that gave Robin goosebumps.
"Oh gods. That almost sounds like…"
And before Robin could finish that thought, the doors of the stables burst open, revealing a very angry looking Minerva. Before the bandits could even comprehend what was happening, Minerva spun, knocking them all down with her tail. And with one unfortunate soul, the wyvern grabbed him with her mouth, threw him in the air, and then ate him whole. All the while, Cherche was calmly riding her mount and hacking any unfortunate bandit that got within reach.
"…Has Cherche always been so ruthlessly efficient and I just didn't notice?" Robin asked. "Because watching her now, I'm scared and impressed. I'm scarily impressed."
"Come on, Dad, Cherche rides a giant, ferocious wyvern! Of course she's gonna be super effective against, well, everything. Because, you know, giant wyvern with sharp teeth and claws!"
"Please don't remind me, Morgan. I try to push the fact that we have one of those on our team to the back of my mind and keep as far away from her as possible…"
"Huh? Why? Minerva's great!"
"Um, not to interrupt, but…should we help them?" Noire asked uncertainly.
"I…don't think they really need any help," Cordelia commented, pointing.
Looking back, Robin saw Cherche and Minerva standing surrounded by corpses.
"Okay. Well, that solves that problem!" Robin declared. "Now come on, the way to the stables is clear and we have friendlies. Hoy, Cherche!"
Both wyvern and rider spun around in the direction of the voice, but Cherche's expression immediately softened at seeing who it was.
"Ah, Robin." Cherche smiled. "Good to see you're unharmed."
"Likewise," Robin said, coming out from around the corner. "Although I guess I shouldn't really be surprised. You and Minerva made quite a mess here."
"My Minerva just gets a little restless when she's confined indoors. So when these bandits attacked, she was just itching to get out and play with them, weren't you, girl?"
Minerva roared.
"That's a good girl. We can let go and have some fun now, yes we can!" Cherche cooed, patting her wyvern.
"Er, right. Uh…" Robin cleared his throat. "Good to see you're unharmed, etc, etc. Sumia, Cordelia! The way is clear. Go gear up and get your mounts!"
The two women nodded and ran into the stables.
"Ah, looks like you've managed to link up with some of the others," Cherche remarked, seeing the rest of Robin's group approaching.
"Yes, thankfully. Saves me the trouble of having to frantically look for them in this chaos. Now if only we could find the rest…"
"I think I may be able to help with that."
"Oh?"
Just then, Olivia and Frederick emerged from the stables.
"Olivia!" Chrom quickly ran and hugged his wife. "Thank Naga you're okay. Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm fine," Olivia said. "I was lucky enough to be with Frederick and Cherche when the attack started."
"Thank you both for protecting Olivia," Chrom said.
"Think nothing of it, milord. I was just doing my duty," Frederick replied.
"Yes, yes, it's good to see everyone safe," Robin interjected, looking around. "But we still have a village under attack and need to cut these bandits off before they penetrate further in."
"Right. Ready to go!"
"Wha—?" Robin was surprised to see Cordelia and Sumia all mounted and ready to go. "…No armor? Actually, never mind. I need you on scout duty anyway. Fly up and give me a quick report on enemy positions, villager status and if you see any of the others around. Do not engage the enemy unless absolutely necessary, got it? Your main mission is recon, not playing hero and carelessly throwing your lives away. That would make us all very sad."
"Right, although no reason we can't try to help," Cordelia said, holding up a bag of javelins.
"Recon first, help only when necessary," Robin repeated. "Now go! Every second we spend chatting here is a second the bandits gain more ground!"
Both women nodded and spurred their pegasi into the air.
"The rest of you, listen up!" Robin shouted, turning to the others. "Until Sumia and Cordelia return, we need to…"
Robin was prepared for the worst. Robin was so prepared that he had plans upon plans to call upon depending on how bad the situation was. And it had to be bad, right? Random bandits attacking a village with no militia or defenses whatsoever and catching the Shepherds with their (proverbial) pants down certainly sounded bad.
As it turned out, it wasn't as bad as it sounded.
Robin was prepared to face bandits with the skills and equipment like those they faced when they met Inigo. He was prepared for professional, well-equipped soldiers with a high degree of tactical competence.
What Robin got was just your common, run-of-the-mill bandits. They didn't have griffons (thank Naga) or the armor and weapons those at the Great Gate did. They weren't even very coordinated, seeming content to loot the houses and grab whatever they could.
So naturally, they were no match for the Shepherds. Hell, Lon'qu alone took out about a dozen or so bandits when they located him. And he didn't even break a sweat!
Thus the battle was over once Sumia and Cordelia made a recon flight and gave Robin the enemy positions. Gaius also proved helpful by being sneaky and actually managing to find and round up most Shepherds to Robin. With their combined might, they easily repelled the bandit attack and saved the village. They also managed to save the lives of the townsfolk, since many of them ran when the bandits showed up and the bandits themselves seemed more interested in looting than actual killing. The local sages helped heal any injuries while the Shepherds helped the townsfolk repair damage and clear up the dead.
All in a day's work as far as Robin was concerned.
"Thank you, kind strangers! From everyone here in the village, we owe you our lives," the village elder said gratefully.
"It was no trouble," Chrom replied. "You were in trouble and we were in a position to help."
"Please, let us at least reward you for all you've done for us, kind stranger."
"That's very kind, but you don't need to. We were simply doing what anyone would've done. Besides, you have done enough by letting us stay at your village and being kind enough to supply us."
"Bah, that seems unfitting for those who have saved our village and our lives. Please, you must allow me to properly repay you for what you've done for us," the elder insisted.
"I don't think that'll—"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Robin rushed into the conversation. "Chrom, you mustn't be so hasty! If this kind man wants to give us a little something for our efforts, who are we to disagree?"
Chrom frowned. "Robin, we're not in the business of expecting anything for—"
"But we're not expecting anything! We were simply doing our civic duty as Shepherds in defending the defenseless. And now the defenseless want to show us their gratitude by giving us stuff. They want to give us stuff, Chrom. We would be denying their gratitude in rejecting their offer to give us stuff. Do you want to be known as the ungrateful man who declines the gratitude of the defenseless?"
"Robin…"
For his part, the village elder laughed. "This one certainly has a way of putting things. But he also has a point. Please, I insist you allow us to repay you for saving our village. I won't take no for an answer."
Robin looked at his friend expectantly.
Glancing between Robin and the elder, Chrom sighed. "I suppose if you put it that way…"
"There we go! Kind and generous Chrom continues to be kind and generous!" Robin rubbed his hands gleefully. "So, what're you giving us?"
"I'm afraid we can't give you much," the village elder said apologetically.
"That's okay. We Shepherds appreciate every contribution to our cause."
"A healthy attitude to have!" the elder chuckled. "Please follow me."
"Go ahead."
"What, me?" Chrom said, startled.
"Well, yeah. You're the leader of our little gang. Who else?" Robin replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I don't know, maybe you?" Chrom countered. "You're the one who convinced him to give us stuff in the first place."
"Yeah, but you're the leader and he wants to thank us by thanking you," Robin pointed out. "Besides, I have better things to do than go off to accept gifts from thankful old men."
"Oh, and I don't?"
"I mean, if you want to help me read through all the reports and take stock…"
"Right. Collecting gratitude it is, then."
Robin smirked. "Figured."
"Hey," Chrom put his arms up defensively. "Some people are better suited to reading reports, and others are better at being people persons."
"Okay then, Chrom. Go do your 'people' thing and collect our reward. I still can't believe I had to convince you to accept gifts from grateful people who want to give us gifts. What's up with that?"
"It's a 'people person' thing. You wouldn't understand."
"Hardy har har," Robin said sarcastically. "Now get going before the old man gets too ahead of you."
As Chrom waved goodbye, Robin turned and walked through the village, helping villagers here and there, as well as tracking down the other Shepherds to see how they were doing.
"Hey, Lon'qu!" Robin waved, walking up to the swordsman.
"Robin," Lon'qu greeted, nodding.
"I see you're talkative as ever. Anyway, just checking up on you. Everything okay? Those bandits didn't get the jump on you or anything?"
"Those bandits were hardly a challenge."
"I'll say. When we found you, you were surrounded by like, a dozen bodies!"
"Given their lack of skill, it's hardly something to be proud of," Lon'qu said dismissively.
"Yeah, well I'm still very impressed. Come to think of it, we haven't sparred in a while, have we?"
Lon'qu grunted.
"I'll bet you came up with a bunch of new moves since last we met on the training grounds. Say, we should spar sometime so I can hone my sword skills!"
"Are you still neglecting your training?"
"Hey, I'm not neglecting anything!" Robin said defensively. "It's just…you know, with all I have to do, sometimes I don't have time to practice my swordsmanship."
"Your lack of practice will get you killed one day," Lon'qu stated bluntly.
"Nuh-uh! I may not be able to slash or stab people as well as I used to, but I can still throw lightning bolts or fireballs at them! Besides, that's why I have people like you to train with!"
Lon'qu looked unimpressed.
"Right. Anyway…" Robin decided to change the subject. "You're okay and stuff. How's Lissa? I assume you kept up your duties as bodyguard and husband to guard her body?"
Instead of answering, Lon'qu pointed to where Lissa was talking with Owain.
"What's she doing talking to the new guy?" Robin asked.
Lon'qu shrugged. "Must be something important if they've been talking for so long."
"They've been there for a while?"
Just then, Lissa squealed in delight and hugged Owain.
Lon'qu frowned.
"Wow, she seems to like him a lot," Robin observed. "Wait, wasn't he one of Lucina's friends? And if Lissa's so excited, that can only mean…"
Lon'qu's eye's widened.
"You'd best prepare yourself for fatherhood, Lon'qu."
"But…I…I…!"
"Because here they come."
Lon'qu's head snapped to the approaching figures.
"Hey, Lon'qu!" Lissa said cheerfully. "Guess what?"
"Please, allow me!" Owain cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Blessed Father! I have crossed oceans of time to find—"
"Hey, none of that, mister!" Lissa bumped Owain with her staff. "No theatrics. Just introduce yourself normally, would you?"
"Very well…" Owain mumbled, rubbing his head. "Greetings, Father! I'm your kid from the future!"
"Isn't that great?!" Lissa exclaimed. "We finally have our kid!"
Lon'qu was understandably stunned at this latest development, being not at all prepared to run into his kid from the future today and all. All his attempts at speech failed and merely resulted in him moving his mouth wordlessly.
Fortunately for Lon'qu, Robin was there to…well, Robin was there. And, tilting his head curiously at Owain, who kept his dramatic pose, Robin asked a very simple question.
"Are…are you sure?"
"For sure as the sun rises every morning!" Owain declared. "Er, sure about what?"
"That you're Lon'qu's kid."
"What do you mean, is Lon'qu's kid? Of course he is!" Lissa exclaimed. "He's definitely ours."
"Well, I buy that he's yours. But Lon'qu's? That's the part I'm having trouble believing."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean, he's all, you know. With the poses and the, uh, let's call it 'dramatic monologues' and stuff. I can see how he'd be related to you, Lissa. But Lon'qu's all…" Robin did his best impression of Lon'qu by frowning. "Of very few words and stuff. Owain, meanwhile, is the exact opposite of that. So, you know, Owain here being Lon'qu's kid is a biiiit hard to believe."
"Hey, he's definitely our—"
"Halt, Mother!" Owain interrupted. "I will not stand idly by while someone questions the lineage of Owain Dark! Speak, villain, so I—wait a minute."
"…What?"
"That coat…"
Robin blinked and looked down at his coat. "What, this? What about it?"
"I can recognize that pattern anywhere…" Owain mumbled. "There's only one person in the world who I know had a coat like that…"
"I would certainly hope so! I would sue the crap out of anyone that copied my beloved coat without my permission! Why—"
"Speak, villain!" Owain suddenly cried, pointing an accusing finger at Robin. "Speak where you got the coat of the fabled tactician Robin! And you'd best speak true, for my sword hand can sense lies and deceit. And in the face of lies and deceit, it demands justice! Righteous justice that I can't always restrain!"
"…I have no idea what any of that even means," Robin said bluntly. "But, to answer your question, this coat is mine, for I am the fabled tactician Robin."
Owain looked Robin up and down. "…Are not."
"Wha—?" Robin was not used to people questioning his identity. And not being used to people questioning his identity, Robin didn't exactly have a rebuke, so he settled with, "Are too!"
"Lies! The fabled tactician Robin is taller! And has heroic facial hair that adds to his mysterious aura! And his hair isn't white!"
"Hey, you've traveled to the past, so of course I'll look different! …I'll give you the hair, though." Robin looked to Lissa. "Lissa, your kid is questioning who I am. Tell him!"
"You know, part of me wants to, but you were questioning if Lon'qu was his dad just a few seconds ago, so I think I'll just sit this one out and watch."
"Gee, thanks for nothing."
Lissa smiled innocently.
"Lon?" Robin turned. "A little help here?"
"I…we…have a son…"
Lon'qu was just getting to grips with that fact.
"You do indeed, dear father of mine! But we must hold our glorious familial reunion for later. Right now, I have to deal with this impostor!"
"Hey, I'm not an impostor, okay?! I'm Robin!"
"That's exactly what an impostor would say!"
Lissa snickered while Robin facepalmed.
"Look, what will it take for you to—"
"Robin!"
Looking back, Robin sighed in relief.
"Oh thank gods. Lucina!"
The princess ran toward the group, panting. Having seen Owain and knowing his colorful character, Lucina wanted to be the one to properly (and carefully) introduce her cousin to Robin. Unfortunately, everyone got separated after the attack and Lucina lost track of both Owain and Robin.
"Lucina, Owain here doubts who I am. Tell him I'm the Robin you knew in the future!"
And judging by things, there was already a miscommunication.
"Ah, if it isn't my noble blood kin. You've come at a most fortuitous time, fair cousin! Before me stands an impostor—"
"For the thousandth time, I'm not an impostor!"
"—who claims himself to be the fabled tactician from the future yet unwritten! But my sixth sense and keen third eye have seen through his deception and uncovered the truth! So now I ask for your assistance in—"
"Owain, that's enough." Lucina decided to nip this in the bud before it could become something troublesome. "Let me dispel any notions you may have right now. This is Robin."
"I…wha?"
"Ha!" Robin cried triumphantly. "I told you!"
"The coat is right, but the hair and the everything else…!"
"Changes that I will attempt to explain to at a later stage," Lucina said.
"Oh." Owain sheepishly turned to Robin. "Guess you were the real thing after all. Sorry about that."
"Eh." Robin shrugged. "I've had weirder things happen to me. And since we're asking questions, hey, Lucina? Is Owain really Lon'qu's kid?"
"He is," Lucina confirmed.
"Oh. Huh."
"Ha ha!" It was Owain's turn to cry triumphantly. "Not even the waves of time or fate can change Owain Dark's legendary lineage."
"…Huh." Robin turned to Lon'qu. "Either you became a social butterfly in the future or were a very permissive parent."
That finally seemed to snap Lon'qu out of whatever stupor he was in. Taking a deep breath, Lon'qu approached Owain.
"So...you said your name was Owain?"
"That is was!"
"That's…good." Lon'qu stood there awkwardly, trying to think of more to say. Luckily for him, Owain decided to take the initiative and hugged his father.
"It's…gods, I've missed you so much, Father."
"It's good to finally meet you…my son," Lon'qu said, a smile slowly forming as he returned Owain's hug.
"And he was worried that he'd be a terrible dad…" Lissa sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye. "He'll be just fine…"
"Right…"
While he wasn't the most aware person in the world, even Robin still realized that he needed to give some privacy to the newly united family. As he started to walk away, Lucina grabbed his sleeve.
"Please forgive me, Robin. I will introduce you to Owain this evening."
"Sure, sure. Should be an interesting conversation…"
So after checking up on everyone, helping around the village and completing his other duties, Robin plopped down in his room, exhausted. Morgan then dropped by, eager for another round of Heroes of Legend, beating him several times and reminding him of their vast discrepancies in luck, given the number of amazing characters she had and the number of amazing characters Robin didn't. He didn't hold it against her, but it still really bummed him out. The only upside was his secret new card he'd acquired today that Robin would only reveal once the timing was right (and he had a better team to make use of it).
After a while, Morgan got sleepy and hugged her father goodnight before leaving.
Sitting back in his chair, Robin thought he got a moment to himself before he heard whispering outside his room.
"—eep in mind everything I said when we go in there."
"I'm still not entirely sure what's going on, but I'll trust your judgement."
"Just…prepare yourself, Owain. And forget everything you remember about Robin."
"Fear not, cousin! I have braved through many trials befitting a warrior of legend such as myself! My mind is as sharp as the divine blade Falchion, ready to absorb the shock from all sorts of forbidden knowledge and unexplained phenomena and come out unharmed!"
"Owain, please! Use your indoor voice!"
"But this is my indoor voice."
"…I can hear everything you guys are saying, you know," Robin said loudly, amused.
A sigh. Then the door opened to reveal Lucina.
"Good evening, Robin. I hope this is a good time?"
"I'm not doing anything in particular."
"Very well. Although you've already met, I'd like to introduce you to my cousin, Owain."
"Greetings, O fabled tac—" Owain began before Lucina elbowed him in the ribs. "I mean, yes, hello. Good to meet you."
"…Oh, right…" Robin looked like he suddenly realized something. "He's Lissa's and Lon'qu's kid. Lissa is Chrom's sister and your aunt, thus making Owain your cousin and relating both of you by blood. You two are related!"
"Yes, yes we are." Lucina tilted her head curiously. "Is that so odd?"
"Well, not 'odd' as it is…okay, maybe it's a little odd."
"Why is that?"
"We'll see. Please, have a seat."
As the two sat opposite him on the table, Robin rummaged through his coat and got out his notebook.
"So, another kid from the future and another one of Lucina's friends, huh? Lon'qu's and Lissa's kid…" Robin flipped through his notebook until he got to the relevant pages. "Ah, here we go. Got your parents' details right here. Let's just take a few pages and make notes on you here…"
"What exactly is that?" Owain asked.
"Nothing much, just my handy notebook full of my notes and observations about everyone in camp. I make it my duty to keep myself updated on everyone's well-being, strengths, weaknesses, strange habits, etc."
"Whoa…" Owain's eyes widened. "So you have notes on everyone here?"
"Yep."
"Notes including their weapons of choice? Their strengths, weaknesses, battlefield prowess and all that?"
"Pretty much."
"By the mullet of Ike!" Owain exclaimed suddenly.
"Is…" Robin looked between his notebook and Owain's awestruck expression. "Is it something I said?"
"Owain, please remember what we talked about…!" Lucina tried to calm down her cousin.
"It is indeed something you said! You have just divulged unto me some devastating information!"
"I…I have?"
"Owain, please!" Lucina pleaded.
"Devastating and potentially damaging information!" Owain continued, "For there, in your hands, is the Codex of Forbidden Knowledge of the legendary Shepherds!"
"…The what?"
"You, as the ever-watchful Eternal Tactician—"
"Ooh, I like that. Has a nice ring to it. Fancy. Powerful."
Lucina looked at Robin, stunned.
"Although technically my new title is 'Grandmaster.' So if you want to call me by fancy titles, you could start with that…"
"Very well. You, as the ever-watchful Eternal Grandmaster…"
Robin smiled contentedly. He did really like the sound of that.
"…have used your keen sense of observation and intimate knowledge of the Shepherds to write down your infinite observations in that book."
"Yes, what of it?"
"Owain, I really think you should—" Lucina attempted again.
"Why, in your hands is basically the entire history and details of the Shepherds! If nefarious forces were to get their sinister hands on that Codex, they would—Oof!"
Lucina roughly elbowed Owain in the ribs again.
"I must apologize on his behalf, Robin. Owain has a tendency to get…excited."
"…Over my notebook?"
"Among other things," Lucina said, a bit embarrassed.
"And I have you to thank for it!" Owain said.
"Wait, what?" Robin blinked. "Me? What do I have to do with any of this?"
"It was you, well, you in the future, that encouraged me to use my imagination to really get into things."
"…What?"
"When Owain was young, he was an energetic yet easily distracted young boy," Lucina explained. "He couldn't concentrate on any one activity for more than a few minutes, preferring instead to simply run around."
"W-well, I wouldn't say I was that bad…" Owain said, embarrassed.
"It was during one of our lessons with you that Owain started down this path."
"I almost dread asking…"
"But indeed it was you who started me down my heroic path!" Owain picked up the story. "In my youth, I was but a leaf blowing in the wind, not wanting to bother with any tasks or duties. Just like the others, I was in your classes when you taught us all sorts of subjects. In the beginning I wasn't really into it because learning history and stuff was boring. However, it was during one of the breaks that my eyes were opened!"
"Okay…?"
"You usually read us stories during breaks," Lucina explained. "And you also used to dramatize them with little puppets to make it more immersive."
"And immersive your stories were!" Owain added. "It always sucked me in, those amazing tales of bravery and heroism. Your way of reading also made it much more interesting."
"Owain was the one who complained loudest when you would stop reading right before the best parts," Lucina recalled with a smile. "He was also the one who would pester you most often about what happens during lessons."
"H-hey! I was just really eager to know what happened!" Owain said defensively.
"Well. That's an interesting little window in the future, although I still don't know how my dramatic reading of stories to you when you were young resulted in, well…"
"Ah, but it was you who noticed how much I enjoyed your elaborately told tales of action and adventure. I think you said those times were the longest I ever paid attention to anything. After talking with Mother and Father, I remember you sat down and encouraged me to make up elaborate and dramatic stories about what I was doing to help me concentrate on the task at hand."
"I…I did that?"
Owain nodded. "You sure did. So instead of 'reading a history book' I was 'learning of the trials and tribulations of my sacred bloodline.' I 'did battle against dark and disgusting-yet-nutritional forces to hone my body and mind through gastronomic endurance training' when I ate my vegetables. I—"
"Right, I think I get the idea," Robin interrupted. "But did it work? Making up a bunch stuff and helping you concentrate on stuff, I mean."
Owain shrugged. "I'd like to think so. Certainly made doing mundane chores a lot more exciting."
"And…you didn't, you know, grow out of that?"
"It sorta became a habit, like with Inigo and the philandering."
"Right. Gods, I almost forgot about that one…" Robin sighed. "I hope Lon'qu and Lissa don't hold this against me…"
"I don't think they'd mind. In fact, Mother was really into it. She even helped come up with some details for my scenarios."
"Of course Lissa would be totally into something like this. I assume Lon'qu didn't share her enthusiasm?"
"Father was a man of few words and many swords, even then. Although he did help me with one of my favorite activities!"
"Really?"
"Yes! Namely, weapon naming!"
"…What?"
"You know, coming up with cool and awesome names for my weapons?"
"…Really? He helped you with that? …Lon'qu?"
"Well, he tried. He mostly helped hone my sword skills and pass on everything he knew. Being a man of few words and many cutting and stabbing actions, weapon naming wasn't really his strong point. But he tried! And I filled in the blanks and together, we had an arsenal of some of the greatest named weapons in the history of Ylisse! Oh, like my sacred blade!"
"Oh?" Robin perked up. "You also have a special weapon like Lucina?"
"Robin, that's not—"
"I do indeed! Well, not really as special as Falchion, because no blade can rival Falchion's majesty, but I do have this!" Owain then unsheathed and proudly displayed his sword. "Behold! The mighty Missiletainn!"
"Whoa! You actually wield the legendary Demon Sword?! That's—wait a minute…"
"Yes!" Owain paused. "Well, not exactly The Demon Sword, but one that's pretty close to it!"
"…What?"
"Oh dear…" Lucina facepalmed.
"Let me see that…" Robin examined Owain's sword. "…This looks and feels like your common, everyday sword…and a pretty dull one."
"Well, yeah…" Owain scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Naturally I don't actually have the legendary Demon Sword, but I totally have something that comes close in history and name and backstory!"
"…Is this part of that thing where you name your weapons?"
"…Yes."
"Okay, so no legendary weapons for you, although the want for one is strong…" Robin scribbled a few notes down.
"You're taking this pretty well," Owain remarked before turning to Lucina. "See, cousin? You were all worried for nothing!"
Robin looked up curiously at Lucina.
"I…just didn't know how you would react to Owain's antics," the princess said slowly, embarrassed. "So I advised Owain to play it safe and talk normally when we met you."
"But it was unnecessary, because of course Robin wouldn't object to my way of talking! Past or future, the strands of fate stay—"
"Actually," Robin spoke up, "I would love it if you'd just talk like a normal person, thanks. I feel this whole thing would go a lot faster and I don't have to spend brainpower to decipher what it is you're saying."
"Aw, but that makes it a lot less fun."
"Owain, we're not here to have fun," Lucina said patiently. "We're here to have Robin evaluate you so he can put you where you're needed."
"Right, right…"
"Yes, right." Robin looked up. "So, Owain. Your eccentricities aside, you have quite the interesting parentage."
"How so?"
"Well, your father is a very skilled swordsman while your mother specializes in magic. That's a very unique combination you have. I don't think there's anyone else who has a mage parent and a non-mage parent. From my experience, that doesn't happen very often…or ever. Like, Maribelle and Ricken, both mages, married. Same for Henry and Tharja. Miriel…well, she's still single and incapable of anything more than basic human emotion. Olivia is magic capable, but I feel she does better with the sword, so she doesn't really count. So that just leaves you, a child of mixed physical and magical parentage."
"Ooh, that sounds quite unique. Special, even. The Scion of Legend, with blood of both awesome magical power and raw physical skills coursing through his veins…" Owain's eyes lit up. "Man, this will be a great addition to the backstory of Owain Dark!"
Robin looked at Lucina for an explanation only to have her smile apologetically.
"Yet another quirk to the list. Got a feeling this will be a long one…" Robin muttered as he wrote more things down. "Anyway, not going to go down that route, so instead I'll ask you what you're good at, given your parentage. From what you told me and from your getup, I assume you prefer the sword to magic?"
"Although I probably have the blood of magic coursing through my veins courtesy of my mother—"
"Wait, what? 'Blood of magic'? That doesn't make any—"
"—I chose the path of the sword like my father before me. As you know, my father was…is? A legendary swordsman of legend rivaled only by my uncle. He was a man of many sword skills, able to strike quickly at his enemies and fell any foe before they even knew what happened to them! And I…"
Robin sighed heavily and turned to Lucina. "This is going to be a recurring theme, isn't it?"
"He, uh, he's not always like this," Lucina insisted. "Owain can be very serious and thoughtful when the situation calls for it. But I suppose he does let his creative side get the better of him when we're not in imminent danger."
"So he only talks normal in dangerous situations?"
"Robin, that's not—! Owain can talk like a normal person outside life-threatening situations!"
"…his fabled super-secret special combo move that will fell every enemy within a…"
"…You just have to keep him on topic and remind him to speak normally."
"Gods, I feel we'll be here forever at this rate." Robin rubbed his temples. "Is the only way to get anything out of him to talk to him in his own 'language'?"
"Robin, I swear Owain is just excited to have found us. Please, just give him some time with us and his parents and he'll be—"
"Yes, I'm sure he will. Or, at least I really hope so. But now I have nothing on his skills and he's still talking about…whatever it is he's talking about. I think some drastic measures are in order." Robin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Owain!"
That certainly got the boy's attention.
"Robin?"
"You, uh, Scion of Legend and time-traveling warrior have traveled through time and space from your ruined future to save the past and all its inhabitants. Now here you stand, wishing to join some of the greatest heroes of your and our time to do battle against the forces of evil and death and destruction, is this correct?"
"That is exactly what I'm doing!" Owain said excitedly.
"Wonderful. But know that before you can join the legendary warriors of legend known as the Shepherds, you must pass me, the All-Seeing Grandmaster. Only if you impress me shall I allow you past the entry gates and grant you the honor of Shepherds membership."
"What do I need to do, O wise one? Assign me any task and it shall be done!" Owain declared, eyes flashing with determination. "I, Owain Dark, have been destined by fate itself to save the world alongside my parents and the greatest warriors the world has ever known. Nothing shall prevent me from completing my destiny! What will you have me do? No task is too complicated, too dangerous, or too impossible for me to—f
"Silence! First of all, tell me why I should allow you into our hallowed ranks. We have members here who overcame impossible odds, fought and won hopeless battles and challenged fate itself! What makes you worthy?"
"My—"
"And your blood is not an answer."
"Oh."
"What skills do you have that make you worthy?"
"My sword hand!"
"…What?"
"My sword hand, powered by the blood of my lineage, twitches and thirsts for justice! When my sword hand is at its full power, I am unstoppable! Channeling the secret and arcane knowledge of swordsmanship passed down to me by my father, I can strike down my foes fast as lightning!" Owain made some quick cutting motions.
"Finally, we're getting somewhere…" Robin muttered and made a few notes. He then looked to Lucina to confirm Owain's statements. When she nodded, Robin continued, "Very well. You have begun to make the case for yourself, but I have yet to hear something that makes you truly worthy of joining our ranks. Being proficient at swordsmanship is not enough. You must prove to me that you are truly deserving. What other skills do you have? What other powers does the blood in your veins bestow upon you?"
"Ah, but my swordsmanship is but one of my many powers! Another one comes from arcane and forbidden techniques bestowed upon me by my parents from the future."
"I'm listening."
"From my father's side, behold!" Owain grabbed his sword and struck a combat stance, closing his eyes.
"…What exactly am I beholding?"
"I am now reaching at the back of my mind and channeling all my energy into my sword hand to unleash my ultimate secret move as passed down to me by my father. Wait for it…the timing must be just right…"
Robin looked at Lucina skeptically.
"He actually does have a special move passed down from his father," the princess said helpfully.
"Oh. Then it should be interesting to see what Lon'qu came up with in the future…"
"Steady…I can feel the power coursing through me…! I only need to unleash it at the right time…"
"Wait, unleash it on what? There's hardly anything in my room to—"
"Now, behold! My ultimate signature move! Astra!"
"Gah!"
Robin and Lucina barely had time to scramble away from their table before Owain charged and delivered a series of quick strikes to it.
"There." Owain dramatically sheathed his sword. "Behold my power!"
Robin glanced at the seemingly unharmed table.
"…I'm beholding."
"Just give it a few seconds…"
Robin was about to make a sarcastic remark when he heard creaking. Looking at his desk, he was surprised to see it slowly break into multiple pieces.
"Wow. I'm genuinely impressed."
"Be impressed and amazed at the power of Astra! My father's super special secret move allows me to unleash my inner energy and strike my foes with the fury of a thousand gods and the speed of lighting! Although each individual hit is weaker than my normal ones, the speed and frequency of my strikes all culminates into an ultimate devastating blow! On the battlefield, I'll be all 'Radiant DAAAAAAWN! Hatatatatata!'" Owain made several cutting motions before standing straight and made a slow and dramatic sword sheathing motion. "By that point my enemies will already be dead and then explode into a thousand bloody pieces!"
"Er, right. That's…helpful. So from what I understand, you sacrifice power for speed, but you end up hitting so often that the overall damage you inflict ends up being more than if you hit normally, yes?"
"Well, that's putting it a lot less dramatically, but yes."
"Interesting…" Robin made a few notes. "And you say—I mean, Scion of Legend! You have impressed me with your moves! And you say it was your father who taught you this special technique?"
"That it was. Through countless hours of training and honing my skills I toiled in the wilderness, sharpening my reflexes and my mind so I could channel my inner power and unleash this skill upon my foes. Astra was the last gift my father gave me. It helped me survive more times than I can count…"
"Lon'qu did say he was working on something when training. Wonder if this is what he meant…?" Robin mumbled, scribbling a few things down.
Owain perked up. "What's this? Has Father in this time not perfected his signature move yet?"
"Well, I'm not entirely sure he even…I mean, SILENCE! I shall not have you interrupting my musings nor shall I divulge any of our secrets unless I deem you worthy!"
"Ack! Apologies, O wise one! Please let me know what else I can do to prove myself!"
"You can prove yourself by telling me the following: has your mother passed down anything to you as your father has?"
Owain's eyes lit up. "Of course! My mother has passed me many a—"
"Did she teach you any special moves or unique skills?"
"That she did. Are you aware of the special technique of Galeforce?"
"Are you kidding?" That certainly got Robin's attention. "That is the single most valued skill the Shepherds have! Not unique to Lissa, but still. Dealing a decisive blow to the enemy and then using that momentum to fell another one in a blink of an eye is something not even me or Chrom can do!"
"Ah, so you are aware of how unique this skill is, then! And you should also be aware that Mother has taught me the secret art of Galeforce."
"That's pretty incredible, considering they all told me it requires some pegasus stuff, and considering how those are picky with their riders…" Robin narrowed his eyes. "You're not making this up just to impress me, are you?"
"What? No!"
"Because I would be very displeased if you are. So displeased that I would banish you from the Shepherds for ALL ETERNITY so that you will live with the shame for the rest of your life!"
"Ack!" Owain clutched his heart. "Have mercy, O wise one! I swear to you that what I speak of is true! I beg you, please don't banish me and permit me to fight alongside my parents!"
"We will see…" Robin said ominously as he turned to Lucina. "Cousin of the Scion of Legend, can you vouch for the authenticity of his claims?"
"I can," Lucina answered, watching the scene with a mix of bewilderment and amusement.
"Oh." Robin turned back to Owain. "Then congratulations, Owain, son of Lissa and Lon'qu. I, the great All-Knowing and All-Overseeing Grandmaster Robin, Gatekeeper of the Shepherds and Grandest of Masters, have evaluated your skill and have found you worthy of joining our ranks."
"Do you really mean it?!"
Robin nodded. "You have your father's future special ability that he's working on now and that will probably prove very useful to use in the future. Moreover, you have learned the devastating Galeforce skill that only a select few of us can master. Oh, and you survived a hellish apocalyptic landscape infested with undead abominations with your friends. That counts for something too. So congratulations and welcome to the team!"
"Robin, that…I…RRAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Owain suddenly shouted.
"Gah!" Robin jumped back in surprise, almost tripping over his chair. "What the hell?!"
"Your confirmation of my place among the Shepherds has activated my blood rage! It has been dormant all this time, but I'm so excited that I can't…control…!" Owain breathed heavily, clutching his hand. "Down, sword hand! We must save our energy for our foes, not our allies! Power…overwhelming…! Down, I command thee! Be calm, sword arm! Stay, raging blood!"
"Er, right…" Robin wasn't entirely sure what to do in this situation, so he just kept going. "I'm sure you know by now that your parents—"
"Argh, no! The mere mention of fighting alongside my parents sends my blood into a frenzy of excitement! So…much…power…! I must…I must go to the training grounds to fell some dummies to save you all from my uncontrollable power!"
"Uh, but it's already dark out—"
"Come, sword hand! We must find an outlet and unleash our power. To the training grounds!"
With that, Owain rushed out of the room.
"—side. Gods, I feel I just made a terrible mistake…"
"You seem to have taken Owain better than I expected," Lucina remarked.
"Oh yeah? How do you figure?" Robin asked tiredly.
"I know my cousin can be a bit eccentric, and given your lack of patience for such shenanigans, I feared you would not tolerate his antics. But given how you even joined him just now…"
"Oh, make no mistake, Lucina, I still very much have no patience for such shenanigans. I pity Lissa and Lon'qu for having to handle that bundle of crazy. Although maybe more Lon'qu than Lissa. Knowing her, she'd probably be really into it…" Robin shook his head. "Er, anyway, yes. I usually don't have the patience for that crap, but it's late, I'm tired and want to sleep. So the best I could do was jump on the crazy wagon and get whatever info I needed as fast as possible, although even coming up with nonsense to say has taken a lot out of me…"
"Seems an effective method as any."
"Yeah. Got some interesting points down in my notes. Astra and Galeforce make Owain already viable, although I forgot to ask him what his style is like. Whoops. Although, based on parentage and clothes, he prefers the myrmidon style, right?"
Lucina nodded. "He strikes fast and is agile enough to avoid getting hit by the enemy."
"Okay, thanks for that." Robin scribbled more notes down.
"Er, Robin? If I may, how are you going to deal with Owain now if you are irritated by his antics?"
"Oh, I'm not."
Lucina raised a brow.
"I don't really see why I need to. Owain has his parents and friends he can hang around with and not bother me with his 'sword hand' shenanigans. I have far more important things I need to deal with."
"So you just don't intend to talk to him at all?"
"Pretty much. Besides, I don't see why we would need to talk. We swim in different circles, Lucina. It's not like Owain is going to actively seek me, of all people, out to go and on about his sword hand or whatever. Can you imagine how tiring it'd be if I had someone who was so energetic and loud talking endlessly about 'sword hands' and 'hero' and 'justice'? It sounds exhausting!"
Lucina fought to keep her smile down.
"But whatever. I leave handling that handful to Lissa and Lon'qu. My hands are full just keeping up with Morgan."
"I see…"
"I don't dislike him, Lucina," Robin felt compelled to say. "It's just…"
"Please, you don't have to explain yourself, Robin. I understand."
"Thank you."
"Although I must reiterate that Owain is capable of speaking normally. Although he didn't grow out of his habit of dramatic narration and such, I also believe it was a method for him to cope with everything that happened later in the future."
"I see…"
"Give him a few days or so to get settled and I'm sure he'll revert to a more normal style of speaking now that the world isn't on the brink of ruin."
"Great. Maybe then I can have a normal conversation with him without having to spend my time trying to figure out what the hell he's saying."
"He really is a good person once you get past the theatrics. Him and Inigo both."
"Hah, Inigo!" Robin smiled. "That guy makes me laugh."
"He does? I thought you disapproved of his, well…"
"At first, yeah. But after spending time with him, I've come to realize—"
"That he's a serious soldier and devoted to our cause despite his constant flirting?"
"What? No. I think he's a shameless flirt now more than ever. What I was going to say is that I've come to realize that watching him try and fail to flirt with women is hilarious! Probably shooting to be my favorite past time. I should really do it more often!"
"I…suppose you're at least getting along? Although I am concerned you derive pleasure out of seeing my brother fair poorly with women."
"Have you ever watched him flirt?"
"No."
"You should. It's the funniest thing."
Despite herself, Lucina smiled. "I…I think I'll pass on that offer, Robin. Although I do hope you understand that Inigo's flirting is harmless."
"Heh, harmless and hopeless. I'd be worried but he can't get a girl to save his life. So now it's just hilarious to watch."
"Well. Perhaps you can get to know Owain this way, although I hope in a less, say, amusing way."
Robin shrugged. "Perhaps, although the prospect of listening to him ramble on about his imaginary misadventures sounds more tiring than amusing."
"Please, would you at least consider it, Robin? I would like very much if you were to get along with my friends and my family. Perhaps spending some time with Owain would increase your patience and tolerance for more flamboyant characters, were they to join us."
"Okay, okay. The things I do, I do for you, Lucina." Robin sighed dramatically. "For your sake, I'll attempt to get along with your cousin."
"I think you're letting all those melodramatic books you've read get to your head," Lucina remarked, amused. "Perhaps you and Owain aren't so different after all."
"Hey, that's…" Robin yawned. "Wow. I was more tired than I thought."
"Ah, my apologies. I didn't mean to keep you." Lucina got up and walked to the door.
"Oh hey, don't worry about it. Your company is always wel…come…" Robin yawned again.
"Get some rest, Robin."
"I think I'll do just that. And I'll keep your words in mind about Owain."
"Please do. After all, you always say how it's best for everyone to get along in the name of 'unit cohesion.'"
"Heh, now you're speaking my language! As you know—"
"You're willing to do anything in the name of unit cohesion," Lucina finished, grinning. "I seem to recall you mentioning something along those lines here and there."
"Just because I say it often doesn't make it any less true." Robin yawned one final time. "I'll get to it…tomorrow. Goodnight, Lucina."
"Sleep well, Robin."
As Lucina walked toward her room, she reflected on the conversation she just had and her actions. Although she did genuinely want Robin to get along with Owain, Lucina also had ulterior motives in encouraging Robin to give Owain a chance. For one, it should give Robin a chance to get used to Owain's antics now that he was a part of the Shepherds. But more importantly, it should prepare Robin and hopefully increase his patience for such antics. Lucina supposed they were lucky in that they got Owain before they got Cynthia. Hopefully, Robin would spend time with Owain and not be so annoyed by such behavior when they inevitably met Cynthia...
Lucina caught herself.
They were only starting off in Valm and she was already thinking about the inevitability of them meeting another one of her friends. She wasn't worrying that they'd never find them or how big the world was, she was actually thinking of something positive happening like it was assured. How in Naga's name did that happen?
Lucina wondered and the only thing that came back was all the time she spent around everyone here, not surrounded by death and despair. But out of everyone, Robin and Morgan stood out, with their easygoing attitudes and their flippantly confident belief that everything would turn out okay.
Well that figured.
Lucina couldn't remember the last time she had genuinely positive thoughts without forcing herself into them. Not thinking about her responsibilities or worrying about 'what ifs' and what could go wrong felt different.
She smiled.
It felt…nice.
