Summary:

New planet, new adventures, new couple troubles :P

Notes:

Heellooooo,
thanks so so so much to the few readers who are still following this CRAZYYY story, you have no idea how much it means to Loki and me 3 and thank you, A, for your lovely comments, geez, I figured out I haven't updated for ages ^^'

Chapter XV (I): So sweet

When the door of the TARDIS closes behind the last Doctor's Companion, Singy stays a few moments to look around. Contrary to what he said to the Doctor before, Peter Carlisle does not know exactly how to start his speech.

It's the TARDIS that starts with a humming noise that seems almost like a cat purring, only more metallic.

Singy swallows before starting.

"You are the most beautiful space-time spacecraft I've ever seen, you know that, right? '' he asks, starting with a compliment that is rewarded by a buzz, if possible, stronger.

Yeah, the TARDIS is definitely purring.

For a moment Peter enjoys the moment before he resumes talking again.

"But you must understand that…" silence falls instantaneously at those words, it almost seems that the TARDIS is listening carefully. "I also need others of my same kind in my life- he explains, hoping to be eloquent enough.

"Could you please not annoy Alec just because ... I like him?" he blushes slightly at those words. "I in return promise you that we will sing together again and that there will always be a special place for you in my heart!"

He almost caresses the TARDIS' wall when a song starts.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done

Nothing you can sing that can't be sung

Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game

It's easy

Nothing you can make that can't be made

No one you can save that can't be saved

Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time

It's easy

Peter smiles at that melody just to join in the chorus

All you need is love

All you need is love

All you need is love , love

Love is all you need

**********

In a quite distant time two strange individuals dressed one totally in beige and white, while the other in dark and red colors, enter a library talking to each other .

"After you, my friend!" The person dressed in light-colored clothes opens the door, waiting for the one in dark clothes to pass.

"Angel, do you have a vague idea of how we should call the Doctor?" asks the guy in dark clothes and red hair.

The one called 'Angel' seems to think about it for a while before talking again.

"Let's do some proper rewatch of 'Doctor Who Classic', it will surely give us some ideas, dearie!"

The redhead who can be identified as Crowley snorts, rolling his eyes, but does not contradict his Angel in rewaching what is ultimately his favorite series.

After what seemed like hours Aziraphale and Crowley, tangled in each other, turned off the television.

Aziraphale smiles excitedly, believing he has found a way to get the Doctor to arrive.

"We can call him!" He explains his brilliant plan.

"Aside from the fact that we don't have his number, we are also in the wrong Universe. It surely won't work!" Crowley brings him back to reality before returning human from the snake form he had taken.

"So, what? Do you have better idea, maybe?" the slightly offended angel asks the demon.

"Outrageous, unbelievable! That bold spring chicken!. Evicted by my own TARDIS! - grumbles the Doctor, while his Companions become familiar with that new planet.

Evidently he didn't take Singy's request well, he just pretended to.

The devotion he has towards his Second Dark Lord for Barty is stronger than his curiosity as a new space explorer, so he has an ear attentive to Ten's complaints and immediately approaches him.

"My Lord, one word from you and when Singy reaches us I will make him repent bitterly for his insolence," he clasps his wand, ready to avenge the honor of his beloved.

"Maybe just a tiny, very quick Cruciatus Curse… nooooo, what are you making me say? No, no attack, no violence!" Ten repents in time.

"Also because would be an assault on a police officer and I would have to arrest you, you, for the act itself, you, for complicity." Alec intervenes, since he has heard them.

Barty laughs contemptuously, but at least for the Doctor's sake he puts away his wand.

"Who would you like to arrest? I'd turn your Muggle handcuffs into poisonous snakes before you even touch me! And those snakes would bite you multiple times." he growls at him.

"I would let you arrest me, very meekly, - Ten informs him. "But then I would break free pretty easily, you know, I saw many Houdini shows and that friend of mine taught me a couple of tricks!" he winks, cunningly.

"Sure, yeah, you really expect me to believe you met the Houdini wizard," comments Alec skeptically, but unwittingly utters a very dangerous word for the Doctor.

"Never question the word of my Second Dark Lord, you, sort of Muggle Auror, if Ten says he has met a…" Barty takes his defense, but then stores that information and the Doctor realizes he has gotten into a real mess.

"Wait a moment. A wizard?" Barty repeats, looking indignant at the Doctor. "Have you dated a Muggle wizard? How can a foolish, useless, pathetic, miserable Muggle proclaim himself to be a wizard? Look Peter, he too defines himself only an illusionist!" he continues in his derogatory monologue.

"Fuck, of course I call myself an illusionist ... with 'wizard' I can only think of one of those assholes who do bullshit at babies' parties!" Drinky snaps, who is not very far from them, this before Kevin swoops like a hawk on him and tap his mouth with his hand.

"Be careful, if Barty hears you, he'll make you feel like a french fry again!" he worries about him, but fortunately or unfortunately the Death Eater is still too shocked by that discovery.

"Leave me, you and I have nothing more to say to each other. And anyway his tortures hurt less than your fucking hypocrisy!" Peter glares at him, freeing himself from his grip and walking away again.

"You attended a Muggle wizard ... " the Death Eater repeats, looking at Ten with disappointment.

"He wasn't a Companion of mine, I just chatted with him …" the Doctor says in his defense.

"A Muggle wizard ... " he repeats, like a broken record.

Ten is about to yell at him that he wasn't even in that generation that met him, but then realizes that it would only make things worse, he hasn't even mentioned such a particular issue yet.

"It was mostly shows, like the ones that Peter does, but more successful!" the Doctor tries to make him reason.

"Hey, what the fuck do you know? Have you ever seen my shows? If I sell out in fucking Las Vegas there must be a fucking reason, don't you think so?" the illusionist called into question bursts out, but Ten ignores him.

"No spells, no wand ... it was just entertainment, skill, the art of deceiving and a not indifferent athletic preparation. But the magic, oooh, that's another thing, the magic is you, Barty. The most incredible magic I have ever seen."

Every trace of resentment is erased from the face of the Death Eater, who returns smiling.

"Oh, my Doctor!" he throws his arms around his neck, holding him close.

"Well, now that peace is made ... none of you have noticed that we are not really trampling on a conventional road?" the Time Lord shifts the attention to the planet they landed on.

"Indeed, it has a soft and sticky consistency ... Did some thug made a joke?" Alec grumbles, touching the road in question with his hand and noticing an unusual consistency.

"Yes ... and it also has a strange smell …" Kevin grimaces, as snobby as ever.

"I would recognize this smell among a thousand ones," Singy says, exiting the TARDIS as if nothing had happened. "Donuts!" He rejoices, bending down to bite the road, verifying with satisfaction that he is absolutely right.

Alec approaches him, looking stunned.

"Have you… did you just eat a piece of the road? But you're worse than any bloody thug I've ever met!"

In response, Peter Carlisle cuts off another piece of road and shoves it into Alec's mouth.

"Have a taste, you chronic grouch, mellow a little! -

Despite himself, Alec has to admit that his younger colleague is right: that 'piece of the road' is really yummy.

Although distant from each other, Peter Vincent and Kevin mimic what the other two did.

The Doctor looks at everyone amused, while Barty is a little more circumspect.

"Has any other wizard passed this way and transfigured the road into a giant donut, my Lord?" he asks confused.

Ten laughs.

"Oh no, no transfiguration. Here everything is as you see it, not only the streets, even the houses, the trees, it is all made of sweets, if I remember correctly the trees have trunks of various chocolate varieties and the crowns with pistachio or peppermint, it depends on the leaves and …"

"I am dead and this is Heaven, right?" Singy, who has heard everything, interrupts him.

"You couldn't be more alive than this. I told you you would love this planet. My TARDIS likes spoiling you." He deliberately uses the possessive adjective to emphasize the actual property. -SweeTown is like that, its inhabitants when they walk on these streets, unlike us, leave only a sugary patina, completely edible," he explains to everyone.

Barty surrenders to the evidence and picks up a piece of the road, tasting it.

"Mm ... it's so sweet," he murmurs, chewing "But never like you, my Doctor!" he pulls him to him for a kiss.

"Hey, you two, it's SweeTown, not FlirTown, stop it!" Drinky protests, separating them.

"You only say that because things are not going well between you and your brain-fuc… argh, look what Muggle language you make me use!" Barty mutters, disgusted.

"Drinky is right, there will be time later for effusions." recognizes Ten. "More important, before we see some SweeTownian, let's stop eating their streets ... they would judge it an act of vandalism."

"I do not want to be taken for a thug !" Alec grows alarmed.

-Hey, would you bother to let us know what you have against the thugs? It's all about mistakes of youth, I have made some, do you want to make me believe that you have an immaculate criminal record?" Singy surprises him with his revelations.

"We are not here to talk about what I did as a teen and in any case know that I, unlike certain people I know, have always had exemplary behavior!" Alec aseptically replies, but the younger detective focuses only on one part of his speech, extremely flattered.

-He already considers me a person he knows!-

"Doctor, are SweeTownians, uhmm, how can I say... deliciously edible like their streets?" Singy asks.

"First point, under no circumstances would I allow cannibalism to any of my Companions; second point, for Gallifreyìs sake! No, the SweeTownians look like your human kind, okay maybe not exactly the same, but why should I reveal everything to you right away? You will find out for yourself if we find any." the Time Lord anticipates, clearly amused.

Kevin has meanwhile slipped close to Ten, taking advantage of the fact that Barty is busy talking to Drinky, only god knows about what.

"If others want to go in search of the inhabitants of this weird planet, they can go ahead, I have other things to think about. Do you remember that help I would like from you? What if we went for a moment to talk about it on the TARDIS?"

"I don't see why not, we can always catch up with them later, you certainly can't get lost with me! " approves Ten, leading the way.

Barty only then realizes that his Doctor and Kevin are walking away.

"I understand now your intent, crafty Muggle, you wanted to distract me, talking to me about your shows, to make me lose sight of my Doctor!" he growls, glaring at Drinky.

The illusionist follows the direction of his gaze.

"What? Noooo, I don't even know what your precious Doctor wants to do with my .. with that damn brain-fucker, I don't even care!" Peter replies. "What really interested me were your suggestions on how to improve my shows, you're right, there are too few torture scenes, I would also like more blood, those fucking directors will have to listen to me …"

"We'll talk about it later, now I have to understand what is happening." Barty interrupts him, but before setting out in pursuit he feels compelled to tell him something else. "Have you seen us before, me and my Doctor? If my people heard me they would kill me for sure, but ... you know what the best part about fighting is? It's when you make peace."

"Yes, maybe, but this time I'm not the one who's wrong, it shouldn't start from me; indeed, do you know what I'm telling you? I will not do a fucking thing, I will not move a fucking finger if he does not first …" Peter perjures, but now his is almost a soliloquy.

Barty has already gone inside the TARDIS, keeping a short distance from Ten and Kevin, who have not noticed him.

"So, what's the matter?" The Time Lord is curious.

"I want to be forgiven by Peter and I think I have found the most suitable way," Kevin informs him, much to the Dark Wizard's relief, even if not for a moment he suspected that the persuader might have any love interest towards his Doctor. "First we have to draw on Peter's supplies, do you remember that case of Midori that Barty summoned with one of his spells?"

"Sure, right after he then summoned that Slot Machine from Arcade Games ... certainly my handsome wizard is very powerful, isn't he?" Ten smiles at the memory.

Barty is delighted to hear the Doctor talk about him like that.

"Let's go there immediately, then you'll explain the rest!" Ten decides, setting off with Kevin, but then on their path he sees a series of bananas appear out of nowhere hanging from the ceiling.

"Oh no, you sly fox, if you hope to sweeten me with these treats you are very wrong!" the Doctor mutters, turning to his spaceship, before canceling the bananas by hitting them with the sonic screwdriver, as if it were a kind of shooting in a video game. "You will not cheer me up with a handful of bananas, I do not forget the shameless preference you have shown for Singy, look where you have taken us!" he scolds her, before continuing on the path.

Barty has seen enough and decides to go back with the others, tickled by a slightly bold idea to put into practice that night.

- My Doctor, maybe I know how to cheer you up a little bit. -

(End I)

Notes:

what is Kevin planning? What will Barty do to cheer up his Doctor? :)

don't miss next chapter :)
we hope you'll like the story so far, there's still so so so much more to come

if you're curios and want to read about a little jump in the future with this storyline (with David on board, too) , check my (I'm Lu82) Flufftober one shots: 'Barty Bear' 'True Colors' 'A (not so findable' moment just for us' , 'Almost like a potion', 'Textual education' 'I love you, my Doctor' , 'It's not what it looks like ' , 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' 'Liking (or rather licking) the rain' and 'T.A.R.D.I.S.: Tender And Romantic Demanding Intimate Snuggling ' ;)