Chapter Eighteen
Hermione hit the stone floor with a grunt, her wand flying across the room with a brilliant flash of scarlet. Her breath left her in a huff and she lay prone on the floor, taking a moment to remember how to breathe. The commotion around her, shouts and spells and cries and laughter, all stopped- or maybe the ringing in her ears was just overpowering it all. Either way, in that moment she really couldn't bring herself to care.
"Oh my god, Hermione!" Frantic footsteps ran over to her, and a familiar face draped with shocking red hair fell into focus in her line of vision. "Are you all right? I'm so sorry!"
She coughed, and tried to sit up, taking her friend's offered hand when the movement caused her to flinch- she could feel the large bruise forming on her back already. "Don't apologize," she wheezed, smiling. "That was brilliant."
The Defense Club members, who had witnessed the mock duel between herself and Ginny, began whooping and clapping their hands, shouting out praises for the successful- if excessive- disarming Ginny had just performed. They had been demonstrating the difficulty in disarming a wizard who was aware of one's intent, and ways around that limitation, something that her friend was apparently quite good at. "What was that combo you just cast?" Hermione asked as she allowed Ginny to pull her to her feet.
"A simple trip jinx to knock you off balance and a few distracting hexes to keep your shield busy until I found my opening." Ginny shrugged, and looked around at the crowd around them. "You don't have to know the fanciest, newest, most powerful spells. In fact, the spells you are most comfortable with tend to be your best friends in a battle."
"They're also quite a useful tool in combat," continued Hermione. "Keep your opponent busy while you look for your opening, with whatever low level spell comes to your mind. They will be easy to deflect, but you can cast them with little effort, they will keep your opponent shielding, and you can use the time to plan your next act."
A shrill alarm above the club door interrupted the impromptu lesson as it started to screech, "Twelve o'clock! Lunch time!" and caused the group to jump as a whole. "Can't you make that thing less obnoxious?" whined Ginny as she flicked her wand at the small clock, silencing it.
"I could, but then we wouldn't hear it half the time," she responded as she walked up to a fifth year Ravenclaw who was holding out her wand, taking it with a thanks. "I think we should wrap up, then. I'll close the room- you all can go up to lunch."
The room cleared out, Ginny amongst them, and Hermione grimaced, stretching out her sore muscles. That had been an intense disarming, and a well-timed one at that. She was impressed, but damn did it smart. I need to remind Harry to stay off of Ginny's bad side.
She walked over to a cabinet at the far side of the room and pulled out a jar of bruise paste; removing her robe, she began to spread the paste under her shirt and over her shoulder blades in slow, deliberate circles. She may not be able to reach all of it, but she would get the worst of it, and hopefully by dinnertime she would have no lingering stiffness.
"Hermione?"
For the second time in a little under five minutes Hermione jumped, startled, and whipped around. "Merlin, Luna, make some noise when you walk!" she wheezed, clutching her chest.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I scare you?"
"A little, yeah," she said with a slight smile. "Do you need something? I just dismissed everyone for lunch but I can help you if you don't mind giving this paste a moment to set in."
"I saw the group on my way down here," Luna said, looking around as she walked further into the room. "I was looking for you, actually."
"For me specifically?" Hermione placed the burn paste jar back in the cabinet and closed the door with a gentle click, then turned to face her friend. "What is it?"
"Ron is here," she answered as she walked over to a nearby drawer and opened it, peering curiously inside. "I saw him in the entrance hall, and he asked if I knew where you were."
"Ron? Here?" Hermione's eyes darted towards the door. "Why?"
"To see you, I imagine." Satisfied with whatever she had seen, Luna closed the drawer again and faced her properly. "I told him to wait until I checked the club, in case you showed up in the Great Hall to help with the Halloween Feast preparations. If you weren't here or there we were going to check the library together. But I found you, so..."
"Yes, thanks," she mumbled, smiling distractedly at Luna as she put on her robe and grabbed her bag off a hook by the door. "I'll just... go see him. Thanks for letting me know."
"Tell him goodbye for me," her friend called after her. "In case I don't see him again!"
Hermione waved in confirmation, and her smile dropped into a look of concern as she hurried out of the dungeons. Why was Ron here? He hadn't told her he was coming; had something happened? She picked up her pace as endless possibilities flew through her mind on a loop. By the time she made it to the entrance hall, she was at a full sprint.
"Ron!" she called across the hall, spotting him in conversation with the headmistress in front of the Great Hall. His head twisted in her direction, and he smiled at the sight of her.
"You look a mess, 'Mione. Did you run all the way here?"
"Did something happen?"
"What?" His eyebrows raised in alarm. "No, nothing's happened. Why would you-"
"Why are you here then?" Her eyes rested on McGonagall, and she rushed out a quick greeting to her before turning back to Ron. "If nothing's happened, I mean."
He reached out and fixed her robe, which had fallen off her shoulder in her mad dash. "I had business in Hogsmeade," he answered with a slight grin, "and thought I'd come see you since I was nearby."
Hermione flushed as her heart calmed down, both relieved and embarrassed. "Oh, that's nice," she said quietly, looking back towards McGonagall. "I'm sorry for interrupting your conversation," she told them both. "I... my mind just..."
"No need to apologize," the headmistress assured her with a smile. "I was just asking after Mr Weasley and his family. Call it a bit of pleasant small talk." She turned back to Ron. "I'll leave you to your visit now. Be sure to pass on my greetings to your parents. And, if you're so inclined, feel free to stay for the Halloween Feast." Looking him up and down, she added with a disapproving tone, "As long as you leave the tricks to the students, that is."
Remembering the fireworks show her friends had provided on her birthday, Hermione bit her lip to stifle a laugh.
As the headmistress walked away from the couple into the great hall, Ron turned to the large front doors of the castle. "It's a bit cold," he began, "but I was hoping we could take a walk?"
Something in his tone sounded unsettled to her, and it put her on edge. "Of course," she replied, slipping her beaded bag off her shoulder. "Let me just grab my cloak."
When she had pulled her cloak from the bag and straightened to put it on, she noticed a teasing smile on Ron's face. "What is it?" she asked, patting down her hair subconsciously.
He gestured towards the bag. "I can't believe you use that at school," he laughed. "A regular backpack isn't enough?"
Frowning, she replied, "Why wouldn't I use a highly utilitarian magical object to make my everyday life easier?" She began to head out the doors. "Aside from mocking my bag, did you have anything else you wished to discuss with me?"
"Yes, actually," he said as he walked down the steps beside her. The afternoon sun offered little heat on the last day of October, and Hermione tucked her fingers into her pockets to protect them from the chill. "Remember how we couldn't figure out where Neville took his Nan after the battle?"
She looked over at him with a sharp turn of her head, and grimaced as the action pulled on her still-sore muscles. "Did you finally hear from him?" she asked, rubbing her neck.
Ron nodded. "He sent Harry a letter earlier this week. Apparently his Nan was in rough shape after being on the run- not to mention fighting in the final battle- so he took her to Ireland until she could get her strength back. Well," he laughed as they instinctively followed a path towards the lake, one they had walked countless times as students, "I say he took her. What actually happened was that she agreed to go in order to get Neville out of the country for a while, to lie low."
"I thought she was proud of his war efforts?"
"Of course she is, but remember he was in pretty bad shape after the battle as well." Ron shook his head and chuckled softly. "They both wanted the other to rest and recover, so they compromised with an extended vacation to the beaches of Ireland. Plus," he added, "they had both made themselves pretty big targets for any remaining Death Eaters or sympathizers. Removing themselves from the country gave them both peace of mind that the other wouldn't be targeted."
"So they've been recouping this whole time?" When he confirmed, she continued, "Well, good for them. I'm glad they were able to get away. And I'm glad you finally heard from him. Did he say when he was returning?"
"That's the best part," Ron said with a smile. "He's already back. He and his Nan came home a few weeks ago, and Neville's already been up to the ministry to talk with Kingsley. He wants to join Harry and me in the auror program."
"He wants to be an auror?" She couldn't quite keep the surprise from her tone, and Ron laughed again.
"Not for a long term career, apparently, but he wants to help. I guess the five months of rest and relaxation has made him anxious to do something."
"I think we all can sympathize with that," she muttered. "Sometimes I regret cutting back on my classes. It feels like every day gets longer and longer, and I could use the distraction."
"Hermione," he said in disbelief, "you've been complaining to me for two months about not having enough time between all your classwork. Now you're telling me you want more? I barely get letters from you now; I'd never get them if you were even busier."
She didn't reply, but turned her warming cheeks towards the lake as their steps faltered. She had the time to write him, she just... wasn't.
"'Mione?" he asked after a minute. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah," she sighed, turning back to him with a tight expression. "I just feel terribly guilty. I haven't been very supportive lately, and I'm sorry about that."
He stared at her in silence for a long moment before sighing and turning away. She watched him walk to a nearby tree and sit, gesturing for her to join him. They sat together, staring at the ripples in the water of the lake, for many minutes until Ron finally broke the silence.
"I won't lie," he started. "I didn't just come here today for a friendly visit. I wanted to check up on you."
"Check up on me?" She turned her eyes from the water to his face, though he was still looking over the water. "Why?"
In his typical show of nervousness, Ron rubbed his neck before looking over at her. "You've been... distant, lately. Your letters keep getting shorter and shorter, and it's taking longer to get a reply from you. Ginny says you've been writing people, but Harry and I are together almost all the time, and he gets about the same amount of responses from you as I do."
She heard his unspoken accusation and gazed at the ground, running her hand through the cool shaded grass. She remained quiet; she couldn't look at him. She knew who she'd been writing instead.
"Hermione?" She kept her head down, focused on her fingers in the green blades. "Who are you writing to?"
Her fingers stilled. She didn't- couldn't- answer him.
He placed a hand over hers, and she slowly, slowly met his eyes. "Is there someone else?"
"No," she said quickly, firmly. "No, there isn't anyone else. How could you think that?"
Her encouraging words only seemed to confuse him. "Then... who are you writing to? And why aren't you writing to me?"
She closed her eyes and took her hand back with a sigh. "You aren't going to like my answer to either of those questions," she whispered.
"Why not?" His tone was becoming more forceful and demanding, his desperation and worry apparent in his terseness. "Hermione, what's going on?"
"I'll tell you," she spoke softly, "but I need you to listen to me and not interrupt."
When she looked into his face, she saw how upset he had become, eyes wide with worry and lips drawn tight. "Of course. Just tell me."
With a deep breath, she turned her body towards him, and took one of his hands back. "I guess I should start with how much I hate myself for this," she began, "but the reason I haven't been giving your letters the attention they deserve is because I feel so unbelievably overwhelmed every time I read them." He made to question her, and she shook her head. "Let me finish. This is hard enough to admit without interruptions." He nodded, his brows furrowing, and she continued. "We've both been through a lot lately, and it sounds like we're both having a hard time handling it all. You know what I've been going through since the Battle, and the attack with Snape undid a lot of progress I had made on recovering. I..."
She took a moment to collect her thoughts, worrying her bottom lip as she watched the rays of the afternoon sun reflect off the soft waves of the lake. "Your letters cause me a great deal of distress, Ron. I hate hearing how you're suffering at your job, and I hate reading about anything involving the war. I know you need to vent, and I wish I could be more supportive, but..." She met him eye to eye then, a tear running down her cheek as the hard truth, the truth she had been trying so hard to avoid, finally came out of her. "Your letters ask a lot of me, Ron, and I'm sorry, but I can't shoulder your burdens when I'm weighed down by my own."
He turned away and his hand slipped from hers, her heart breaking at its loss. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she was faced with the impact of her admission. She had just told him she couldn't support him the way a girlfriend should be able to- should want to. She had just admitted to prioritizing everyone else over him. There was a distance between them, one that had been growing for a long while now; one that she had been forcing for many weeks. And she had just come to a realization of her own, one that broke her from the inside out: she didn't want to fix it.
"I don't know when it began," she continued in his silence. "I don't know when it all became too much. But I... I think I need to focus on healing myself right now."
He turned to her quickly. "What are you saying?" he croaked, his face drawn. "Are you saying you're- you're done? That this is it?"
"I-" She stopped herself from denying it when she realized that while she hadn't meant it that way initially, it had been a quiet, nagging thought in the back of her head for a long time now- that this wasn't working. "Ron," she tried to explain, "it isn't that I don't care for you. If it weren't for all this... this mess in my head, I wouldn't be saying anything. But I... I guess I am saying that. At least for now. I don't think we're what either of us needs at this moment."
He stood abruptly, and walked down to the edge of the lake. She rose much more slowly, an ache in her chest weighing her down. She could barely keep up with what she was saying, what she was feeling, even as she knew the truth behind it. "Ron?" she whispered, her voice shaking.
"I'm not an idiot," he finally replied, facing away from her. "I knew we were heading this way." He kicked a tall tuft of grass and sighed. "I've been feeling separated from you long before we were actually physically separated. I just..."
"I'm sor-"
"It isn't exactly the conversation I had imagined it to be," he continued, ignoring her attempt at an apology. "I was hoping you were just too busy for me. If that were the case, I was willing to wait for you. I mean, it's just a year, right? Less than, really." He turned to her then, and she could see the pain in his eyes as he met hers nervously. "I was also worried that there was someone else. Are you sure there isn't? You never answered my other question."
She shook her head slowly. "I swear there's no one else. Not like that." Taking a moment to wipe her tears, she explained, "I write to Snape a lot. He's been helping me with my arithmancy. It's been a good distraction from... other things."
Ron's face paled, his expression turning sour, and he turned back to the water. He didn't reply.
Hermione, stomach in knots, stepped forward. "Is this it, then?" she whispered.
"I mean it's kind of on you, isn't it?" he muttered, bending over to pick up a stone. He spun it in his hand, rubbing the smooth sides with his thumb. "I'm not too fond of being passed over for Snape again, and you aren't capable of giving me half the attention you give him."
His words cut her, for all the truth they were. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, the only thing she could think to say, and she knew it wasn't enough, that it wouldn't matter how many times she said it- it would never be enough.
With an aggressive grunt, Ron hurled the stone across the lake. They watched as it skipped across the water, leaving ripples in its wake, before a long tentacle breached the surface and pulled it down into the depths with a hearty splash.
"Do you know how it feels to be overshadowed by that walking black hole?" he snapped, and the suddenness of his anger caused her to jump. "To know your girlfriend prefers the school's most hated professor over you?"
"It was never like that-"
"There's no point lying now, Hermione, is there?" His frustrations flowing freely now, he turned to her with a glare. "Or did you not just break up with me?"
"I'm not lying, though!"
"You think you aren't lying, but everyone else can see the truth for what it is!" he yelled. "If it weren't for Snape we wouldn't have been so separated this summer! If it weren't for him we would have actually seen each other!"
"If it weren't for Snape I'd still be magic-less and out of my mind!" She shouted in defense of a friend she was becoming more and more attached to the more Ron screamed at her.
"You still are magic-less and out of your mind!" His words hit her with the full force of a train and she stepped back, wide-eyed. "And it's his fault, too! He got you into this mess by making you a target! How can you not see that?!"
Whatever sorrow she had been feeling was burned away by an intense rise in anger. She could feel her face warming as she glared at Ron in fury. "You have no idea what that man has done for me, Ronald Weasley!" she shouted. "He has done more for me this summer than you've managed in the past year! How many times have you put me in danger? How many times have I had to get myself out of it? At least he saved me! You abandoned me! Me and Harry! Again!"
"That's-"
"That's different?" she interrupted, stepping forward now. "How? How is it different, Ron? You left us, and we had to pick up the pieces! And I could have made your life hell for that, but I didn't. Because I know what war does to your psyche, I know the fear it brings. I know you were fighting your own demons, and I never wanted to add to that. So don't you dare tell me to be angry at Snape for something completely out of his control when I've done nothing but forgive you for slight after slight our entire friendship- and now I'm wondering why I even bothered!"
"Well then let me do you a favor, Hermione," he snarled. "You won't have to bother any longer."
And he stormed away, her anger leaving with him. Unable to hold her own weight, Hermione fell to the ground and wept.
Hermione,
I don't know what happened between you and Ron but he came home in a right foul mood. The only thing he told me was that you two were through before he locked himself in his room. Is that true? Are you okay? What can I do to help? Please write back.
Harry
Hermione dear,
I spoke with Ron this morning, and he told me what happened yesterday. I know things are hard right now but I want to assure you that you'll always have a place in our house. Having you there over the summer was a blessing and no matter your relationship status, you are always welcome anytime. I hope you two are able to patch things up soon.
Molly
Hermione,
Seriously, what is going on? Ron has been avoiding me surprisingly well, seeing as we work and live together, which means whatever happened must have been pretty significant. Please write to me. I tried to ask Ginny, but all she said was that you were miserable and she didn't know anything either. One of you needs to break and tell me something soon or I'll go mental. So write this time, okay?
Harry
Hermione,
Harry wrote to me asking if I'd seen you this week. Told me what happened with Ron. I'm sorry to hear it. I'll be home this evening if you wanted to stop by after dinner. I'd love to see you, even if we don't talk about nothin.
Hagrid
Hermione,
Ginny says you won't talk to her either. She's really worried, and now so am I. I'm coming up there. Tomorrow, after work. I'll be there around dinnertime. We need to talk about this.
Harry
Miss Granger,
While I will say I've been able to focus more efficiently on my work this past week, I must admit that your lack of correspondence is concerning. I only hope you haven't fallen ill. I would think you would have the foresight to seek medical attention if that were the case, but knowing your penchant for taking the weight of the world on your shoulders, I find myself doubting that. Remember to take care of yourself first and foremost, before any and all obligations. If you don't, you'll surely end up in the hospital wing regardless. Write back, only so that I know you still can.
SS
Master Snape,
I'm alive. I'm a bit distracted at the moment. I'm sorry for causing you undue worry, and assure you that you can go about your work free of concern.
Hermione
Harry,
Don't come. I'm fine. I'll talk to you soon.
Hermione
Harry came anyway.
She knew he would, and avoided the Great Hall, with every intention of skipping dinner. It wasn't like she hadn't done that already this week. She was lucky to manage more than one solid meal. If she wasn't in class or working on her coursework, she was curled up in her four-poster, curtains drawn, tears gently soaking her pillow. She felt lost. Empty. Alone.
Was there truth to what Ron had said? What he accused her of? Had she been showing an honest preference to Snape over him? Had they fallen apart because of that? The more she thought about it, the guiltier she felt. All this time she felt weighed down by Ron. Could she have been looking for a way to get out from all that pressure? Could she have been avoiding him without realizing it? Was that even possible? She knew she had been prioritizing other things above him lately, but had she been replacing him with any of it? She had thought she was just setting him aside until she had the energy to focus on him the way he deserved. She thought she was doing her best by him. Was she lying to herself?
It was in the midst of one of these shame spirals that Harry found her. With the help of Ginny, who somehow managed to disable the charm on the stone steps to their dormitory, it wasn't long before they were both pulling the curtains aside and climbing into her bed with her.
"I don't want you here," she mumbled into her pillow as she turned her back to them. "I told you not to come."
"Since when do I listen to you?" asked Harry. "Scoot over- these beds are smaller than I remember."
She shot a glare at Ginny before shifting into a sitting position, reluctantly making room for her friends. "I told you I wanted to be left alone."
"And I told you to shut it." Her ginger-haired friend sat at the foot of the bed, legs crossed. "I gave you three days before asking you to talk to me. It's been a week, and I'm done waiting. What happened?"
Harry scooted next to Hermione, putting an arm around her. She hated to admit it, but it was comforting. She leaned into his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm sure you've heard everything from Ron anyway," she sniffled miserably.
Ginny transfigured a scrap of parchment from her pocket into a handkerchief and handed it to Hermione as Harry replied, "Ron hasn't talked to me about it any more than you have. It's a lot easier to avoid me at Grimmauld Place than it was at the Burrow, and he's taking advantage of that. But I'm not worried about him; I'm worried about you."
She shook her head, wiping her eyes. "It's all my fault anyway," she started. "He was right. I wasn't prioritizing him at all. He needed me to be supportive and I wasn't there."
"Because he was so supportive when you lost your magic?" countered Ginny. "I remember him giving you a lot of flak for your lessons with Snape." When Hermione didn't reply, she sighed. "I'm not saying it was all his fault. I'm just saying it wasn't all your fault, either."
"I don't think it was anyone's fault," said Harry. "I just don't think you guys... well, worked."
"That's a good point," Ginny agreed. "It's like with Dean and I- we make better friends than we ever did as a couple."
"You guys don't know the half of it," Hermione muttered into Harry's shoulder.
"Then tell us," said Ginny softly.
Taking a deep breath and blowing her nose, Hermione sat up straight. Harry dropped his arm from around her shoulders, but turned to face her fully. "It started when... well, no, it started almost right away. But it was something we were able to pretend didn't exist until... I'm doing a terrible job explaining this."
"Let's start with the break-up, then," suggested Ginny. "What was the conversation like?"
"Oh, well," Hermione paused to collect her thoughts. "He asked me why I wasn't writing to him like I had been. He asked me if there was someone else." At Harry's shocked face she quickly explained, "There isn't- well, in that sense, anyway. I had been writing to someone else, but not romantically."
"Snape?"
She nodded. "He's been helping me with my arithmancy work, amongst other things. It's been a nice escape from reality, unlike the letters Ron sends me, which stressed me out and made me feel guilty for not being able to help. I started to take longer and longer to read his letters, and when I replied I sort of ran out of things to say. I know the letters weren't what he needed, but I couldn't bring myself to write anything else."
"So you admitted to writing to Snape instead of him?" asked Ginny. "I guess I can see how that would upset him."
"I didn't admit it at first," she clarified. "The actual break-up was surprisingly calm. I just told him I couldn't handle his stress when I had my own, and he seemed to understand that. He wasn't surprised when I... when I did break up with him; he said he kind of saw it coming." She paused, fighting for control over her emotions, before continuing, "We didn't start fighting until he asked me who I had been writing to again. I don't know why I told him; I should have known how he would react."
Her friends shared a glance with each other before Harry rubbed her back. "It isn't your fault Ron can't handle your relationship with Snape. You're just friends with him. How Ron reacts to that is his problem, and you shouldn't have to deal with it."
She grimaced. "I don't help the situation any by fighting with him every time he says something."
"That's just your knee-jerk reaction to whenever he opens his mouth." Ginny gave her a small smile. "I should know, I have the same reaction."
"Besides," said Harry, "neither of us understands your desire to be his friend either, but we aren't bad mouthing him in front of you every chance we get."
"Yeah, we wait until you leave the room," joked Ginny. "You know, because we love you."
Hermione snorted. "It's just..." she started as she twisted the handkerchief in her hands. "He wasn't the only one yelling. I said some pretty awful things, too."
"Like what?"
"Like-" she looked up at Harry guiltily. "Like how I reminded him that he abandoned us in the woods last year."
"But he did," Ginny pointed out.
"I know, but I didn't have to say it. It's not like I'm actually still mad about it. I was just so... frustrated. He has it in his head that Snape's to blame for everything." Amongst the sorrow her anger rose again. "Which is ridiculous, because Snape is just as much a target as I am, if not more, and it isn't his fault-"
"We know, 'Mione," soothed Harry, rubbing her back again in an effort to calm her down. She took a deep breath and smiled awkwardly.
"Sorry. He knows just what to say to keep me angry. Anyway, I told him as much, and that's when I reminded him that Snape wasn't the only one getting me into trouble."
"Yeah, heaven knows I've done that plenty," muttered Harry, turning to look at Ginny.
"And I've never once blamed you for it, Harry!" she rushed to console. "I was in charge of my own decisions. Besides, I was a target without your influence just for being a muggleborn."
"You were a target for being a talented muggleborn," corrected Ginny. "No one would have cared about you if you weren't showing up Malfoy in every class."
"That isn't true," she argued.
"It's a little true," said Harry, grinning.
"I can't believe you're teasing me," she grumbled. "I thought you were here to make me feel better."
Ginny huffed. "I thought you didn't want us here."
"Well now I want you here less!" she laughed, and it felt good to laugh. A piece of her heart clicked back into place with the act, and though she was still upset, she could breathe a little easier. Sobering, she asked, "Do you think he'll ever talk to me again? I don't hate him; I don't think I'd be capable of hating him."
"Give him a few more years," said Ginny. "I'm sure he'll surprise you."
Harry shoved Ginny hard enough to make her grab a bedpost, lest she slip through the curtains; she yelped comedically, but he ignored her. "Ron doesn't hate you either," Harry assured her. "If he did he'd be ranting to me by now, trying to get me to agree with him. He's still avoiding me because he knows I'll tell him off and he knows he deserves it."
"Does he though?" she asked. "I surely deserve some telling off as well, and you haven't given me any."
"That's because you aren't a prat," he replied. "Ron yelled at you about something completely out of anyone's control. You yelled at him about something that actually happened. There's a difference."
"I still feel awful," she mumbled.
"I know." He sighed. "This might be the most you've hurt each other, but that doesn't mean you guys don't still care about each other. Give it time, and I'm sure things will be all right."
"If you say so," she replied, at a loss.
A long lapse in conversation passed between the three of them, and Harry checked his watch. "Damn it," he muttered. "Kingsley wanted me back by now. Walk me out?"
Hermione agreed, her week of isolation finally taking its toll on her. A walk around the castle would be good for her, she knew. Perhaps she would sit outside a bit, breathe in some fresh air and enjoy the stars. Hogwarts did have an impressive view of the cosmos.
Harry held Ginny's hand the entire way to the entrance, but as they took the steps down into the grounds, he turned to Hermione again, stepping forward to embrace her.
"I'm sorry this year has been awful for you," he said quietly as he held her.
"It's not like I'm the only one," she sniffed, feeling the telltale pinprick of tears in her eyes.
He stepped back from her slowly. "It will get better," he promised. "You'll get through this. We all will."
She gifted him with a sad smile as he turned to Ginny, talking to her quietly in hushed tones. When he finally left, Ginny turned to her, rubbing her hands together.
"It's freezing out here," she chattered. "Shall we head on in?"
She shook her head. "I'm going to stay out here a bit longer," she said. "It feels good to be up and about." Understanding, her friend hurried back inside the castle alone, and Hermione sank down onto the front steps, letting the unshed tears flow. They were gentler than they had been all week, as if she had forgiven the pain and was left only with the sadness of it all. But with the stars above and the sounds of the night surrounding her, she gave into the sadness, if only for a while.
A/N: I didn't want to leave a beginning Author's Note because I didn't want to spoil anything, but I know a lot of you have been waiting for this moment! I was honestly going to make the break-up very amicable, but the characters just started yelling at each other out of nowhere, and I went with it. Can't say I'm mad at them, either. I hope it was satisfying to read, and now that I posted it, maybe my sister will love me enough to start reading my story again.
Anyway, tell me what you think! Your feedback is important to me, and I will try to respond to you if I can! I unfortunately can't respond to guest reviews, but I appreciate them all the same!
