"Interesting expression, 'time-traveller'," Professor Mesmer mused. "Does it come from that story Wells wrote per any chance?"
Harry was too busy not gapping to answer.
He then nervously smiled. "I-I don't know what you're talking about. Me a- a time-traveller?" He forced himself to laugh. "Wh-Where did you get such idea?"
Mesmer looked pleased. "Good, at least you're not immediately spilling the beans. But, like I said, you've already said too much. When you make a prediction," he began explaining, "you cannot allow yourself to be too precise. An obscure reference passes, an outright affirmation?" He grimaced. "That's where it often gets troublesome because people then ask questions. And you rarely want to answer them."
Harry didn't say anything for a long time. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he insisted.
Mesmer amusedly shook his head. "And you're right of course to keep camping on your position. Still, we are past the point where you can convince me I'm wrong, I'm afraid. As I said, I've had my suspicions from the very beginning and the past months did nothing but confirm them."
Harry warily looked at the seer. "How did you reach such conclusion?" he carefully asked.
Mesmer hummed. "Trying to learn as much as you can about your conundrum, are you? Well then, I suppose there are three possibilities," he told him as he raised a finger and began counting. "Option 1: I am a seer of great power." Ignoring Harry rolling his eyes, he raised a second finger. "Option 2: I am a very clever man. And Option 3: I am a rather talented legimens," he finished as he raised a third one.
Harry paused. "You used legimency on me?" he exclaimed in outrage.
"The correct answer is naturally I am all three," came the swift response. "But if you want to believe this then by my guest. That raises a few contradictions of course but if you want to think this…" He gave a sly smile. "I'm not going to contradict you."
Harry tried not to grit his teeth and attempted to occlude his mind to the best of his abilities.
"Still, that was only an impression at best if you consider this to be the truth. You could be delusional, you could be messing with me, or maybe I've finally lost my marbles. This is mostly why I asked for a second opinion."
Harry's heart fell. "That man at the party."
The older man idly laughed. "Who, Evans? With his profession, he makes a point in never revealing any secret. Unless he really has to and he most certainly did not. No, it wasn't him but that person was present for All Hallow's Eve if that helps."
That's when he knew.
"Trelawney."
Mesmer nodded. "The guild was always meant to come but Trelawney? She's such a Cassandra we never invite her to anything. Still, I needed her Sight so I sent her a message under the pretence I had a vision. She was kind enough to help me have a clearer picture. Now, in case you did not know, Cassandra Trelawney's Sight is what we call absolute. She sees past any pretence or disguise, you cannot fool her for she literally looks into your soul. So when Trelawney says something, you better listen to her carefully. It happens one of the many things she told me only confirmed my suspicions."
Harry uncomfortably swallowed.
He had thought he would be safe if he stayed with her and Black. But now that he was thinking about it, it had been extraordinarily stupid. The greatest seer of the nineteenth century, the blind witch who could see the future so clearly... Wasn't she in fact the most dangerous person for a time-traveller to hang with?
"You made many mistakes, Mister Potter. One of them was to underestimate us. The second we laid our eyes on you, we felt something was not right."
Harry suddenly remembered Trelawney fainting as soon as her white eyes had looked in his direction. And there had also been his first divination class. Professor Mesmer, a man always in control in class, had outright screamed and shattered his tea service in front of his uncredulous students when their eyes had met.
"You, introduce yourself. What are you and why are you here?"
Not who, Harry numbly realized. What.
"I wonder… Do you happen to know Trelawney or one relative of hers per any chance? Because I must say, you make a very convincing impression of her whenever you play seer and try to divine the future. Which is odd, considering she has never met you before that night."
Harry painfully closed his eyes. "One of her descendants will teach divination here," he finally mumbled, defeated.
Mesmer startled. "What? A Trelawney teaching here?" His eyes roamed the room as if in search of somebody. He then dazedly shook his head. "Poor kids. I can only imagine what you had to go through."
"So you, Trelawney and that Evans know I'm from the future," he stated, tone dead.
But Mesmer hesitated. "As I said, Trelawney's Sight is absolute. How she interprets her visions now…" He grimaced. "That's where she usually makes a mistake. She can get too precise, or speaks in metaphors. Sometimes she even does both at the same time. In this instance, I would say she has no idea. This is quite far-fetched after all and she does not have the information you unknowingly gave me. I doubt other seers can even think you're from a distant future. As for Evans… While he is clever and extremely good at what he does, I wouldn't be so sure he knows exactly." He shrugged. "Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't."
He should be panicking, Harry knew. Somebody knowing he didn't belong in that time, Harry knew that was catastrophic. He didn't know exactly why and, frankly, he had done his best not to think about it, but he knew that was bad. It was bad and he had to find a way to fix this.
Harry carefully looked at the smiling seer, trying to find a way out of this mess.
Except he couldn't find any. He mentally tried to find a mean to force his silence but ultimately came empty-handed.
"What do you want?"
"A raise, mostly. I know I'm not the least paid professor here, there's a reason why I do other things than teaching. The revival of my favourite character would be nice too," he mused. Seeing Harry glaring, he rolled his eyes. "What can you possibly give me, Mister Potter? Have you even got a knut on you?"
Harry spluttered. "W-Well… I'm from-"
"Yes, you're from the future," Mesmer impatiently finished. "But when exactly are you from?" After a moment of hesitation, Harry answered. "Then I'm afraid to tell you I'm not interested. Odds are I will be very dead when that knowledge you have will be relevant."
Harry drew back. "I thought that-"
"-everybody would rush to learn what the future is going to be like? Try to make you spill your secrets by any mean? You're absolutely right. That's often what happens when somebody is discovered to be a seer. This is the main reason why a seer learns quite early to keep his mouth shut on certain matters and play dumb. But to a seer like me? You're one future, far, far away. It would be folly of me to ignore all the potential futures ahead just because you're here. And, really, do you truly know how that time you're from came to be?"
Harry couldn't help a grimace at that question.
The expression on his face softened. "You've showed me you are aware of the similarities between the problems a seer have to face and yours. Well, let me tell you this: a seer's biggest flaw is how blind he can be on certain matters. How easily he can make erroneous assumptions based on incomplete information and how terrible the consequences can be. I admit I am curious, but finding what you know isn't worth it for the time being. You're lucky, Mister Potter. You're very lucky I'm actually good at what I do. Very few would be sensible enough not to pry."
Harry was speechless.
When the older wizard had said he knew he was from the future, he had thought it was game over. Already he had been trying to find a way to buy his silence, panicking at what the man who has had months to find out everything Harry knew was going to do with that knowledge.
It hadn't even crossed his mind the man wouldn't be that interested.
"Why are you telling me all this?" Harry finally dared to ask.
"Considering how well you're blending in, I'm assuming you coming in our dear ninteenth century was a complete accident."
Harry sweat-dropped.
"I may out of my depth, I am spending my entire life studying time. And even without my third eye, I can see clearly you need some help. A little preying there and there also informed me a lot of things are at stakes."
The man took a long pause for a moment, as if considering something important.
But he never said anything.
After a moment of hesitation, Harry informed the wizard he had been studying divination in order to find a way back to his time.
The seer couldn't help laughing. "Divination may be the most occult magical art, you're diving even deeper than all of us." He closed his eyes and took a thoughtful pause. "Your idea has some merit though. You may be unto something there. When did you exactly came here by the way?" Harry shrugged and after answering the question the seer began musing. "The first of September, you say..."
He then shook his head. "Nonetheless, there is the matter of you being here, today. That is the most important thing for the time being." Sensing Harry was about to protest, his electric blue eyes intently looked at the time-traveller. "You may know the future, you are living in the present, Mister Potter. And you will not reach tomorrow if you do not walk today."
Harry bit his tongue.
After a few deep breaths, the Gryffindor began explaining himself. "I thought I could pretend to be a seer. That way if I let something slip..."
Mesmer's lips twiched. "I noticed. But I'm afraid to tell you, being -or pretending to be- a seer isn't as easy as many believe it to be. If you want to pass for one, if you want to survive in that time, you need to know a few ground rules."
It was only then that Harry realized what the man was implying. And Harry couldn't help feeling like some enormous weight had suddenly been lifted. If what the man was proposing what he was thinking, it would be truly amazing.
It even seemed too good to be true.
The time-traveller carefully looked at the seer. "You want to help me," he stated. "Why?"
For a moment, the seer said nothing and just looked at him.
Finally, he grinned.
"Who knows? Maybe the Higher Being sent me a vision of me helping you and I am only following her wishes."
Harry facepalmed under the other wizard's laughs.
Rule number one of being a seer: lie as little as possible.
Lying implies you have something to hide. And if somebody knows you lied, he will face you with distrust and try to find out why.
That did not mean a seer never lied, Professor Mesmer had remarked. It just meant they could wield the truth so well they very often did not have to. So what if the audience misunderstood or thought they were frauds? It was not their problem.
That, Harry couldn't help thinking as he sat in Defence Against the Dark Arts the next day, was extremely manipulative.
When he had pointed that out, the seer hadn't helped raising an eyebrow. "Do you actually believe you can just say something and it will be well recieved because it is true? That somebody who does not like what you tell him will not lash out and go after you? The truth is a dangerous weapon, Mister Potter. And it must be used with great caution."
Remembering Fudge and Umbridge, Harry had no choice but to admit Mesmer had a point there.
"Good morning class," Professor Merrythought greeted the class once everybody was seated. "Now, I have corrected your copies from last week." She opened her satchel and retrieved last week's test. "As a general rule, I must say I am quite satisfied with what you wrote on the shield charm and other magical protections. I'll give your copies after class and if you have questions on your essay feel free to ask me then." She left her desk and walked to the blackboard. "That being said, we will begin a new chapter, perhaps the most important for you this year."
Taking her chalk she wrote three words and Harry's heart stopped.
The Unforgiveable Curses.
"I am sure you have heard of them before," she started, "but there is bound to be a question on them for your Ordinary Wizarding Levels. For this reason, we will be quite thorough on the matter. Now, can any of you say what the Unforgiveable curses are?"
Seeing a few hands raised she pointed a finger in Slytherin's direction. "Mister Black."
"The Unforgiveable curses are three curses that were deemed so dangerous it had been decided to condemn their mere uses with the an automatic sentence to Azkaban."
"Correct. While there has been many attempts to either remove one curse or add others, that list has not moved in four hundred years and I doubt it will in the near future. Now, can anybody gives me the name of these curses?"
A few hands rose. Professor Merrythought looked around the classroom and finalled pointed to Horace.
"There is the imperius curse, I think."
"You think?"
With more confidence, the Slytherin repeated, "The imperium, ma'am. A curse used to bend a person to your will."
"Correct. Five points to Slytherin." Writing what had just been said, she added, "While it is true there are other curses who can more or less allow somebody to force an unsuspecting victim to do as they are told, the imperius curse is known to be neigh impossible to break. Does anybody know why? Or maybe make an educated guess?"
This time very few hands were raised. In fact, there was only Albus'.
"Mister Dumbledore."
"Some recollections from a few victims seems to indicate being under the imperium happens to be quite a pleasant experience."
It had been the most wonderful feeling. All worry in his head gently wiped away as a vague, untraceable happiness overwhelmed him...
"As a general rule, we tend to follow one's lead. Our most basic instinct is to follow the rules, to do as we are told. The imperium was constructed in such way we go back to our most basic instincts: looking for easy happiness and the need of doing as we are told."
Who would be mad enough to fight that inner peace Harry had never quite managed to get back?
"Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor. The imperius curse is very insidious on this regard. You are still in control of your body. You just… do not particularily care about what you are doing with it. The caster has no hold over your body, it is not being violated. It is your mind itself that is being attacked. You do not feel the horror of watching your hand grab the dagger to stab your spouse, you are in fact feeling quite content and it is only when you are released from the curse that you can truly understand what you have done. The victim now can break the curse but it almost never happens. After all it takes..." She grimaced. "Let's just say a person able to break the imperius curse must have quite a strong personality and a inner disregard at following the rules."
Harry snorted.
Professor Merrythought quickly glanced in his direction.
She then turned her attention back to the class. "Now, we have seen the imperium. Can anybody give me another Unforgiveable?"
Elphias slowly raised his hand. "The Cruciatus, ma'am," he stated when she allowed him to talk. "The… the torture curse."
Professor Merrythought nodded as she wrote the name of the curse. "Many curses can be used to cause pain. I once had to deal with a dark wizard whose favourite curse to cause harm was aguamenti." The class frowned and she sighed. "I admit, I was skeptical as well at the beginning but..." She sighed again. "Water torture does exist and can be extremely effective when the torturer knows what he is doing."
She paused a moment. "Torture can take different forms: loss of limbs, dripping water, manipulation, complete isolation... Many attempted to recognize these dark curses as unforgivable but that is just not possible to put all of them. Anything can cause unimaginable pain, it is the torturer's twisted mind that turns even the most beautiful things into horrors."
She turned to the dead silent class. "So why this curse?" she asked. "Why does the cruciatus get a preferential treatment?"
The students uncomfortably looked at each other.
Very slowly, Black raised his hand. When Professor allowed him to talk, he coughed.
"You said anything can be used to torture somebody," he slowly began. Seeing her nodding, he inhaled. "That any usually innocent spell can cause harm. But the reverse can also be true, can it not? You can... You can use very dark magic for good reasons."
She smiled. "Excellent. Ten points to Slytherin."
Black sharply exhaled.
"Yes, even the foulest flesh-eating curse can be used for good," Professor Merrythought explained. "Very, very few spells are inherently good or bad and the dichotomy between light and dark magic is grossly exaggerated. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist of course, but it is not the magic that make a wizard dark. It is why and how he uses it that reveals a man's true nature. So a wizard is using a curse that notoriously cuts off limbs? He can be a dangerous wizard, but he can also be a healer. Somebody who knows the leg is lost and a clean cut is the only thing that is going to save his patient. A spell doesn't mean anything in itself and we must have the facts to have a clear picture. For these reasons, some curses can in the right circumstances be explained and their use is not in itself 'unforgivable'."
"This however?" Her chalk hit the word 'Cruciatus'. "Causing pain is all it does. Nothing is harmed, nothing is removed or added, it is pain for the sake of pain. That's all it can ever do and the caster must truly relish in causing harm. The cruciatus may cause cause extreme pain, it is after all the most painful curse in existence-"
Voldemort smiling over his body as Harry was convulsing. That pain, so all-consuming he no longer knew where he was. White-hot knives piercing every inch of his skin, his head so surely going to burst…
"-that's all it can ever do," she finished after glancing at him. "Once the curse is lifted, that person is unharmed and can go on with their life, as if nothing happened."
"There are some side effects of course," she conceded. "The victim often has nightmares, can feel phantom pain or even become unattuned to it in some rare cases. Still, nobody who went under the cruciatus has ever received external injury and somebody who has been under the cruciatus can very well take his wand right after the curse has been lifted and fight as if nothing's happened. Nobody who suffered the cruciatus ever needed to go to St Mungo and if their memories are wiped they may never know what happened to them."
Neville's parents on their beds as Mrs Longbottom told Ron and Hermione why they were here. Alice Longbottom handing candy wrappers to a son she could never recognize...
Harry could do nothing but uncomprehendingly look at Professor Merrythought who after pensively looking at him was answering a Slytherin's question. How could that woman outright skip the Longbottoms' fate?
Maybe because it hasn't happened yet, he numbly realized. And maybe Bellatrix Lestrange had actually done the impossible when she and Crouch had used that curse on Neville's parents.
"Some may think it is a clean way to torture somebody. But if it is the cleanest, it is also the most effective and the most painful and the one that causes the most mirth to the caster. For this reason, the Cruciatus is an Unforgiveable."
"Now, the third one," Harry distantly heard as if he was underwater, "we have briefly mentionned it during our first lesson. Can anybody give us his name?"
This time almost all the class raised their hand.
But Professor Merrythought was only looking at Harry. "Mister Potter."
Harry startled and numbly looked at the Defence Professor's impassive face.
"Mister Potter, what is the third Unforgiveable?"
"The third Unforgiveable?"
"Yes."
Harry forced himself to focus. "Th-The killing curse." Feeling he needed to say more, he deeply inhaled. "Avada Kedavra, green beam. And… and if it hits you, you die."
"Correct. Now, I must stress this, if it only takes some imagination to torture somebody, killing takes even less. In the right hands, even the hoover charm is enough to kill a man. Such arguments are often raised to explain why some consider the Killing Curse should not be classified as an Unforgiveable. That and euthanasia. So why is it still on the list? Why is the killing curse the first Unforgiveable, Mister Potter?"
Harry dully looked at her, trying to figure out why she was asking him this.
When he did, he couldn't stop a bitter smile.
"Because you cannot block it."
She nodded. "Five points to Gryffindor. Any idea why that is?" Harry blinked, shook his head and she answered her own question. "That is because the Killing Curse is not just a spell."
Seeing Harry frowing she sadly smiled. "So there is something you don't know."
She turned back to the blackboard and began writing. "Yes, the Killing curse, like some other charms such as the Cruciatus or the Patronus, is not just energy. More than that, you are summoning a concept."
Next to him, Albus was furiously writing down everything that was being said.
"This is why these spells are so difficult to cast: they are more than magic, they are the very concept given for a moment physical form. And you just cannot stop death. Not even the strongest spell, the strongest shield charm on earth can protect you from death itself. And when it hits you..." She snapped her fingers. "It's over. You're dead before your body even reaches the ground."
"Cannot physical objects block the curse?" Albus asked, hand raised and nose still on his notes.
"This is the only way to stop the spell from reaching you. Still, I must stress this: the second the curse is cast, something is going to die. Whatever gets hit will die, or shatter. So it does not really block the curse, you're just sacrificing something else."
Albus nodded, hands writing down her words. "And there cannot be anything able to stop the killing curse itself?"
"As I said, you are summoning the essence of Death. No power in the universe is stronger than death, Mister Dumbledore. So, no. If somebody gets hit by the Killing curse, that person will always die. Many fools have tried to create some protection able to stop the Unforgiveable, but that is just not possible. And I seriously doubt any of us will one day meet a person who will say 'I survived the Killing Curse' and who will not be lying."
"Fascinating," Albus breathed after class. "Utterly fascinating, don't you think, Harry?"
Harry imperceptibly shrugged.
"I knew some spells were more than magic but can you imagine? The Killing curse bringing forth the essence of death itself? I've never considered it this way, have you?"
Harry grimaced. "No but… I can't really say I'm surprised."
"I suppose it does explain why shield charms are so utterly ineffective. They are only magic given a specific shape but maybe. Maybe if one were to use a spell, or another form of magic, that also brings forth another concept, wouldn't it be able to block it?"
"It cannot be any concept though," Albus started thinking out loud, not noticing Harry was dead silent. "I admit Professor Merrythought is right on the subject: nothing is stronger than death."
It was after all the one true fact in the universe. Everything died and it was pure folly to even attempt to cheat the reaper. Even the world they were living on would one day perish.
Could death die? he suddenly wondered. What if, like a diamond, the one thing that could defeat death was death himself?
Albus interrupted his musings when he heard in an hesitant voice, "Maybe love is."
Albus burst to laugh.
He abruptily stopped when he saw Harry's stunned face.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," he hurried. "It's just- While I do agree love is a great power, we are talking about death here."
There were of course muggle stories proning about the strength of love and it vanquishing death but unlike his youngest sibling, he prefered wizarding tales such as Beedle the bard's. Stories written by people who at least knew what magic was and what it could actually do.
It certainly was not love that shielded the third brother after all.
"I am not saying this wouldn't be very beautiful," he amended. "The idea that love can defat death and save the day is rather romantic after all but..." He gave a contrite smile. "These sort of things only happen in muggle love stories or fairytales. Even love fades, eventually. People fall out of love quite often after all. And if love can die, it cannot be stronger than death and defeat it, can it?"
Harry instead of agreeing or attempting to disprove his point, numbly looked at Albus, as if he was now seeing the wizard in a whole new light.
And Albus might have no idea why, but he got the feeling that, somehow, he's just given him the wrong answer.
He quickly opened his satchel, pretending he needed to see which class they needed to go now, and actively avoided looking at him during the whole walk to Herbology.
He wasn't sure why, but the idea of seeing Harry looking at Albus with something akin to disappointment made him feel really small.
This was not Professor Dumbledore, Harry mentally repeated once again in his bed.
He had thought he had managed to get this point but it was only when Albus had outright laughed at him that he had realized just how far the man still had to go.
Albus Dumbledore proning the strength and power of love, he had thought that was something inherent in the man. Something he's always believed in and always would.
Apparently not.
He had briefly considered telling him about his mother shouting 'Not Harry, please not Harry. Kill me instead', about the protection she's put on him and him being known as the Boy-Who-Lived. About how Harry was the living proof he was wrong but…
But…
If Harry were to tell the fifteen years old Albus Dumbledore about the night his parents died, wouldn't that mean Professor Dumbledore knew and yet did nothing to save them?
And if he knew and did nothing, wouldn't it be because Harry had told him this was going to happen and he couldn't change it because paradoxes and so on? Wouldn't Harry in some way be making some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy and be responsible for his parents' death?
Rule number 2 of being a seer: it befalls on you to keep some hard truths secret, no matter what others might say.
Meaning Harry had to keep his mouth shut.
Harry had to admit he had been at first surprised by how little Albus was talking about him being a time-traveller. If he didn't know better, he'd even say the prefect had no idea. But it was clear now that Albus, like Mesmer, had decided to not let the future -Harry's past- give him a biased opinion and he wanted not to be spoiled.
Still, for a few horrible seconds, despite being from the future, Harry had felt like he didn't know Albus Dumbledore at all.
"Alright," Professor Mesmer said as he started their first real individual lesson the next day, "that thing basically summarizes your situation."
Except the blackboard was blank.
Seeing Harry's face he turned his attention to the blackboard. "I haven't drawn it yet, have I?"
"No."
Mesmer sighed and summoned his chalk. He then started drawing a vertical arrow and a stick figure walking on it. "Very well, this is how the common people considers time. Bottom is the past, top is the future, and you can only go in one direction." He drew another stick figure with glasses and then a curved arrow starting at the top and reaching the bottom. "Now this is you. Are you following me so far?"
"Yes."
"Good. Now this how your situation really is."
He then drew several question marks along the straight line.
"Are you good at history, Mister Potter?" Seeing Harry grimacing, he shook his head. "Then you must understand you have no real idea how your world came to be."
"I know some-"
"Some things. You are working without having a complete picture. And, I cannot stress this enough, what will be true for you tomorrow may be completely false today. The same way, an event a seer may have foreseen can be part of a routine or an isolated occurance. This is why a seer always needs context."
He wrote 'CONTEXT' and underlined it thrice.
"A seer only gets a glimpse most of the time. We often do not act on what we see because we do not understand what our vision means. As this muggle character so wisely said, is always dangerous to reason from insufficient data. And you said it yourself, you do not have all the data; for this reason you mustn't rely too much on what you believe to know."
Harry looked at the blackboard for a few seconds and sharply nodded.
It wasn't unlike what Professor Merrythought had said. A spell in itself rarely told the story of what happened. A vision or incomplete knowledge from future even less.
Remembering the Unforgiveables and Merrythought's comments on the Cruciatus, he couldn't help asking: "Can some things always remain the same, no matter what?"
"Yes. Well," he amended, "we do not actually have a non-subjective viewpoint to affirm this as clearly as some other things, but it is a rather strong guess on our part. Some people are always going to die no matter what. You saved one from drowning? He is run over by a horse ten minutes later. We cannot distinguish these fixed moments from other visions however so that makes it neigh impossible to recognize them. When we do, it's often because somebody has tried to stop a specific outcome from happening and utterly failed."
"But these moments are exceedingly rare," Mesmer warned. "So do not start assuming this means your time is fixed because you would be strongly mistaken." Harry slowly nodded. "Time is a cruel mistress, Mister Potter. And foreseeing paradoxally means you are dealing with the occult. We barely have any visibility there and you even less than the worst seer in existence."
Seeing Harry was about to protest, Mesmer's electric blue eyes intently looked at him.
"There is an uncommensurable number of possibilities," he gravelly stated. "One when you turn left instead of right, one for each lottery winning combination, one when your neighbour does not go to work one day. An addition of so many choices leading to one path. When you are at the beginning of the chain of causuality you must take everything into account, absolutely everything. You went to buy pastries for a very hurt girl. What will this small act of kindness change? Was it really that insignifiant? It certainly was for you, but was it really for her? Maybe you've just redefined her entire existence and you will never know. Maybe even she will not fully understand her whole fate turned that exact instant she saw you coming back with a lemon cake. In that infinity of potential futures ahead, you only know one path. And you have an incomplete understanding of it at best. As far as you know, it may even be too late for your time to exist."
Seeing Harry tensing, he softened. "Maybe it will, maybe it will not. Time tends to work in very mysterious ways after all. But it is time for you to stop assuming you have some huge advantage and can be in complete control of your fate. So my advices to you are these: make sure nobody realizes you know more than you should for your own safety, see the present for what it really is instead of how you think it should be. And, more than anything, do not make the choices you think you must do because of your situation and only make those you can learn to live with."
